Chapter Text
In the glow of Catha’s light through the window, the dark tresses strewn across the pillow seemed to give off an otherworldly shine. So dark they almost looked blue in the moonlight. Not unlike the feathers of a raven in hue.
Keyleth turned her back at the sight.
She couldn’t think like that now.
Couldn’t think of the way the feathers rippled across wings in flight.
Couldn’t not think of it, because…
Behind her there was a small whimper. The rustle of limbs stretching and twisting in uneasy sleep.
“Shhh sweetie, I’m right here.”
Without looking, Keyleth reached back and rest her hand on her daughter’s stomach, rubbing soothing circles. She felt anxious, too-fast breaths turn deep and even. Felt twitching movements still.
Then, as she was about to withdraw her hand, felt her daughter’s breath catch.
Keyleth’s heart sank.
Please, she prayed to Gods who weren’t there to listen, please I can’t do this right now.
“Mummy?”
The little girl was hugging Keyleth’s arm to her, voice searching, but Keyleth couldn’t-
“Aren’t you coming to bed, Mummy?”
And her voice wavered, and Keyleth swallowed a lump in her throat and dropped her head in shame,
“I will soon, honey. Go back to sleep.”
She should turn around. Tuck the blankets up around her daughter, kiss her goodnight. She should lay down with her, hold her, look at her.
Only…
There was this horrible, aching, irrational fear that had her frozen in place even as her daughter tugged at her arm. This churning feeling in her gut that if she turned around she’d find only black raven feathers waiting for her.
It was a long moment before the little voice peeped up again. As if she’d been waiting for Keyleth to change her mind, come to bed.
“Where’s Daddy?”
“He’s not home yet,” Keyleth supplied, the ache in her chest growing.
“You’re waiting up for him?”
The bed shifted, her daughter’s hold on her arm lessening, and Keyleth swallowed back her tears,
“Calliope, it’s time to go to sleep.”
She meant to sound stern, but her voice broke around the cadence of her daughter’s name, and the air escaped her chest, and the bed was shifting again, Calliope let go of her arm…
“I’ll wait with you,” Calliope offered, “we can wait together.”
And there she was.
Keyleth lifted her head at the weight of her daughter crawling up to join her at the edge of the bed. She lifted her head and met the gaze of honey gold eyes as Calliope tried to worm her way onto her lap.
Gold.
Her stomach lurched.
“You,” Keyleth said, catching her daughter under her arms and stopping her from getting any closer, “need to go to sleep.”
Because it was too hard to see her right now.
Too hard see those dark, dark curls. The furrow to her brow, the way her lips turned down and made her look like him, because she didn’t look like her. Those golden eyes, shining with tears.
Too hard not to see the ghost of raven feathered wings sprouting from her back.
“Maybe you could hold me?” Calliope asked in a small voice, “while you wait for Daddy?”
Her hands grasped at Keyleth’s arms, shaking. She was shaking. And Keyleth was just-
“Of course. Of course I’ll hold you.”
She pulled Calliope back to her then. Held her in her lap and tucked the girl’s face into the crook of her neck so she couldn’t see how Keyleth’s own face broke with a suppressed sob.
Gods, she couldn’t breathe. Calliope was curled into her, grabbing at her nightgown and twisting little fingers in her hair and shaking, why was she shaking?, and Keyleth-
“I had a bad dream,” Calliope murmured all soft and broken into her ear, “turned into a bird and a scary lady caught me in a net and took me away from you.”
“No one’s going to take you away from me.”
The words fell from Keyleth’s mouth without hesitation, even as a shiver went down her spine. She sealed the promise with a kiss to her daughter’s hair as the little girl whimpered,
“You promise?”
“I promise, Calliope. I won’t let anyone take you from me.”
It was a familiar promise. One she made to herself when the light hit Calliope’s eye just right and her eyes glowed that strange golden hue, when the ravens perched on the garden fence and cooed to her and left little treasures by her fairy homes, when she frowned in that certain way she did that made her look so much like her father- and Keyleth couldn’t stop thinking that he had been taken from her once.
“You really won’t?”
Calliope leaned back in Keyleth’s arms, and the light of Catha caught her eye just right…
“I really, really won’t.”
A quiet fell between them then, as for a moment Calliope seemed to study Keyleth’s face, and Keyleth fought to keep it soft and reassuring. Calm.
Fought not to show the horrible feeling gripping her chest and squeezing her heart and filling all the space so she couldn’t breathe…
And it must have worked, because slowly her daughter’s shaking began to subside. She tucked herself back against Keyleth’s chest, releasing a shaky sigh.
But Keyleth couldn’t sigh with her. Couldn’t bring herself to calm as she imagined what her daughter had dreamed of- her turning into a bird and someone taking her away, away from her.
Her skin was crawling, and her teeth were buzzing, and she couldn’t breathe but she could feel Calliope’s soft breath on her neck.
Keyleth had to move. She couldn’t keep sitting still- she’d burst into flames surely. Or her chest would cave in. Or-
Gingerly she adjusted Calliope, lifting her as she stood and giving a soft hush when the girl startled in her arms. Part of her wanted to leave their home entirely. Turn into a giant owl and hold Calliope in her talons and fly them up so high into the mountains no one would ever, ever find them.
But she only crossed the room. Carefully lowered herself into the rocking chair by the fireplace as her daughter gave a little happy hum and curled closer. She was getting big for this now- it took some wiggling for her to get comfortable -but Keyleth wasn’t ready to admit it yet. She’d spent so many nights here in this chair, Calliope in her arms and her hair almost looking like Keyleth’s when it reflected the firelight. The flicker of flames giving her the illusion of freckles dancing across her cheeks. The warmth of the fire coaxing that little smile out of her that looked like Keyleth’s smile.
Because she was hers.
She was Keyleth’s.
And no one was going to take her away.
“Mummy?”
Calliope blinked up at her from under heavily lidded eyes, punctuating herself with a little squeaky yawn. Keyleth gave a soft laugh, some of the tension in her chest beginning to release as she stroked her daughter’s cheek and watched her eyes flutter shut.
“Yeah sweetie?”
“Will you sing to me?”
Calliope didn’t open her eyes with the request, just nuzzled into Keyleth’s hand as she hesitated.
“You don’t want me to sing,” Keyleth said finally, “I’m not a very good singer.”
The corners of Calliope’s mouth twitched down, her sleepy smile faltering. The tension in Keyleth’s chest spiked again.
“I think you’re a good singer,” Calliope argued, “I like it when you sing.”
“Okay, just for you."
Keyleth would do anything to see Calliope’s smile come back. To hear her little purr of satisfaction as she settled in with her head against Keyleth’s chest like she could heal the pain inside.
“What should I sing?” Keyleth asked softly, carding her fingers through her daughters curls. Relief took her as the sleepy smile returned.
“Can you sing the lullaby with the poet and the dragon?”
“I can certainly try.”
It was an odd little lullaby Vax often sang to her- a few stanzas of cliches woven together in a mostly sensical manner.
Wounded Bird, it was called, because of course it was.
Keyleth stumbled through the tune, sure she was mixing things up as she went, but if Calliope had noticed she wasn’t awake by the time it was over to complain. She’d dozed off before Keyleth had even gotten to poets or dragons, holding tight to a fistfull of her nightgown like a safety blanket.
Finally, Keyleth felt some of the anxiety in her chest begin to settle.
They were safe here, by the fire.
Calliope was hers here.
There were no ravens, or golden threads, or wings.
There was them. The creak of the chair against the floorboards. The crackling of the fire…
And footsteps.
They were soft but intentional- a warning of sorts. Too many times he’d slipped in so silently that she’d nearly had a heart attack when he finally made his presence known.
Now her heart ached with anticipation as the steps grew ever closer, the doorknob turned-
“Hey.”
She was the one who startled him for once. Vax had paused in the doorway, looking first to the bed to find her surely, and the silhouette of him in his armor looming there made Keyleth uneasy. She needed him to step inside, come to the fire where it was safe.
“Hey yourself.”
He obliged without being asked, making short work of the distance to press a quick kiss to her lips, and another to Calliope’s head.
Keyleth tried not to think about how cold his lips were.
Vax knelt by her feet, resting his cheek against her thigh with a tired smile.
“Missed you today,” he said, his voice rough but warm. Keyleth met his smile with a half-smile of her own, reaching to scratch playfully at the nape of his neck. If she just looked at his face- at his eyes, at that charming smile -she could ignore the feathered armor shining in the firelight.
“We missed you too.”
She nodded to their daughter, still fast asleep in her lap, and Vax’s smile grew.
“Did someone not want to sleep in her own bed tonight?” he teased, reaching up and stroking Calliope’s arm. Calliope flexed away from the tickling touch, giving a huff in her sleep and further turning into Keyleth. Vax gave a short chuckle of disbelief…
Buying Keyleth time to explain herself.
Because it hadn’t been Calliope who had asked to stay in their room.
Keyleth had been the one to suggest it.
For as much as she’d hardly been able to look at her, she still needed her close. She needed to be able to hold her, protect her.
Now the feathers on Vax’s armor were coming into focus again. She could see the pallor of his skin that had never really gone away after he’d come back. The bags under his eyes from his long hours working, serving-
“Keyleth?”
She’d waited too long to answer.
He sat back, resting his hands on her knees as his brow furrowed in confusion.
Keyleth looked to the little girl in her arms- fire haired and freckled for now -and then back to him with a deep sigh.
“I wanted her here,” she admitted quietly, “something happened today.”
The crushing in her chest was back- worsening now as she saw the fear cross Vax’s face. Saw him automatically scan their daughter for injuries, any sign that she’d been hurt.
But there was nothing to see now. It had happened so fast.
“She grew wings, Vax.”