Actions

Work Header

We Need An Agamemnominon!

Summary:

agamemnon accidentally kills all of the blood of hercules characters and then himself.

Work Text:

There were a whole bunch of titans in the rural Montana trailer park, and the newest recruit to Spartan School, Agamemnon, had a brilliant idea to take them down.

"My good pal Ody--short for Odysseus because we do nicknames in this series for some fucking reason--did something like this once and it went great!" he claimed.

So Alexis, Kharon, Augustus, Patro, and Achilles, along with Agamemnon, squeezed themselves into a huge wooden horse, with Agamemnon sitting in its mouth to allow it to talk and also to drive it. It was like a parade float, each of its hooves on four motorized wheels.

"I call it the Trojan Horse!" he exclaimed, voice muffled by virtue of him being inside the horse's head.

"Heh, jussssssssst like the condomsssssss," Nyx hissed, invisibly.

The trailer park, which included Alexis' recently-stomped-on trailer, was walled off for some reason. The titans inside were around three times the wall's height, so the Trojan Horse had to be set up from pretty far away, rolling over slowly, as parade floats do.

"DING DONG!" Agamemnon shouted for lack of a doorbell.

I don't know if the titans can talk or anything, they're really poorly explained, but whatever. One of them went up to the gate where the horse was and said, "What's this?" in a titan-like cadence.

"A gift!" he exclaimed.

"Okay? I don't know why any of us would want a wooden horse, but whatever."

"What are you talking about, everyone wants a wooden horse!"

"Um, no? And your voice is really annoying. I know you're just like, a guy in there. I don't know why you'd want to be inside the horse to give it to me, but I guess we'll take what we can get."

The titan snapped the head off the horse and plucked Agamemnon out, who screamed as he was eaten. He made a face. "Wow, that guy tasted gross." He looked down into the horse to find five other people and a snake that he could see because I make the rules here, and ate them all too. They were also disgusting.

He kicked the now-empty horse into the rural Montana distance, throwing its head along with it. "Good thing I looked that gift horse in the mouth."