Work Text:
“So what are you planning for Christmas? Are you going on a vacation with Jihoon?” Wonwoo asks his co-worker—slash—deskmate. They’re out for lunch at a nearby cafe, together with Jun, Wonwoo’s boyfriend, who works just a few blocks away from their office.
“Huh? Why should we?” Soonyoung asks, frowning. He sees the two exchange weird glances before looking back at him with a confused look on their faces.
“Well, aren’t couples supposed to be spending the holidays together? Me and Wonwoo’s planning to go out of town—”
Jun was cut off when Soonyoung shifted on his seat, waving his arms in front of them. “Wait, what?” Soonyoung lets out an awkward chuckle, shaking his head. “You guys thought we were a couple?”
“Huh?” The couple raised their eyebrows at the same time, Soonyoung thought they looked funny, and he’s been noticing that the two are becoming a lot more similar in their expressions, habits, and just everything in general since they started dating a few months ago. Cute couple energy, Soonyoung sighs.
“Isn’t Jihoon your boyfriend?” Wonwoo breaks.
Ouch. Soonyoung felt his heart crack a bit inside his chest. “No,” Soonyoung pouts, “not at all.” he says in a small voice.
The two looked at each other once again, this time, a little longer, as if they were telepathically talking inside their minds. A few moments after, Jun looks back at Soonyoung with an apologetic look on his face.
“We thought you were…” Jun starts. “First of all, Jihoon’s always packing you lunch— except today since you said he went on a business trip for three days. Then you never went out with us to drink after work because you have to pick him up from his office.”
Soonyoung fidgets with his hands, lips pressed in a tight line.
“Not only that,” Wonwoo continues. “–you’re always talking about him. When you saw someone selling fresh taiyaki outside the office yesterday, you couldn’t shut up about how Jihoon would go crazy over them and bought not only one— but five of it— only for him!” Jun scratches the back of his head as his boyfriend talks, both of them are just as equally confused. “When we first saw Jihoon, we definitely thought the two of you were dating. The way we see him, he’s cold, looks like could kill without any remorse, and hard to approach, but the way you looked at each other, the way Jihoon bought the correct meal set you liked when we went out to eat together, the way Jihoon only smiled at your jokes and groans at the ones Jun cracks— I swear he looked like he’s head over heels for you.”
“Okay, okay stop.” Soonyoung sighs heavily. “I don’t know what y’all see, but it’s clear to me that we’re not dating, not today, not yesterday, and not anytime soon.”
Everything Jun and Wonwoo said lit up something inside him— maybe hope?
But no, regardless of how others see their relationship on the outside, one cruel thing remains a fact, Soonyoung and Jihoon are not dating.
“Jihoon and I have been friends since high school. I think… we’re just doing what normal friends would do for each other, right?” There was an obvious disappointment in Soonyoung’s voice, but he already came to terms with his feelings and his relationship with Jihoon a long time ago. “Right, we’re just friends.” Soonyoung touches his nape, smiling sheepishly. “At least that’s what Jihoon thinks.” Soonyoung adds, almost a whisper that Wonwoo and Jun almost missed, but it was so obvious to them that their friend is having a relationship crisis.
But Wonwoo and Jun are pretty sure Soonyoung’s gonna be just alright.
—
“Has Soonyoung always been this dumb?” Jun asked Wonwoo that night when his boyfriend came over to his unit.
“I always thought Soonyoung’s a great guy, great at doing his job and everything else. I think I finally found his flaw.” Wonwoo chuckles. “Should we help him?”
“Nah, he’ll be fine.”
—
“Jihoon-ah!” Soonyoung rolled down his window and waved his hand towards Jihoon who was standing by the corner outside his office. Jihoon waves back at him with a smile, he just came back this afternoon from his three-day long trip. Soonyoung watches him as he looks from his left to the right before crossing the road. Jihoon immediately opened the door to Soonyoung’s car and plopped himself down the passenger seat before letting out a long sigh.
“Long day?” Soonyoung asks, reaching out to touch Jihoon by his nape, gently rubbing his fingers on the tense muscles around it.
“Loooooong day.” Jihoon whined before closing his eyes as he relaxed under Soonyoung’s touch. “Thanks, Soons.”
Soonyoung hums happily as he gently pats the back of Jihoon’s head before retrieving his hand back to start the engine. “Will ramen make you feel better?”
“Yes, please.” Jihoon looks at Soonyoung, his small lips pursed into a pout. Soonyoung knows he’s tired and sulky, but he can’t help but coo at his cuteness. He wanted to kiss those lips so bad.
But he can’t, so he settles with placing his hand on top of Jihoon’s as he drives away,
Jihoon’s fingers tighten around him.
—
The next morning, Soonyoung wakes up earlier than usual. He never wakes up late, nor has he ever been late to work, but he’s unusually earlier today given the fact that it's a weekend and it means it's both his and Jihoon's day off.
Since he can't go back to sleep he just decided to go on with his day. He got up and fixed his bed, went to the bathroom to do his morning ritual, took a hot shower, got dressed in a tank top and cotton shorts, and made his way to the kitchen.
To be honest, the kitchen is not really his territory.
They have a coffee grinder that he has no idea how to start, an air fryer that he used once and almost blew up their apartment, and the induction stove— which fortunately— he knows how to at least fry an egg on.
So he decided that's the safest way to prepare breakfast for the two of them. He still has 15 minutes before Jihoon wakes up so he has to get started.
He carefully picked some eggs from their fridge. He picked up groceries the other night when Jihoon was still away so their fridge and cupboards were filled with new stocks.
He hummed happily as he flipped the scrambled eggs on the pan, adding a pinch of salt— because he remembers how Jihoon scolded him last time for his bland eggs so he made a mental note to always remember to put salt in it.
He was already turning off the stove when he heard a door creak from behind and a soft voice calling out to him.
“Nyoung-ah…” Jihoon mumbles sleepily. “You’re up early.”
Soonyoung turns around and sees Jihoon leaning against the island counter, hair sticking out in different directions, eyes still half-open, God, he’s so adorable— but most importantly–
He’s half-naked.
Soonyoung shouldn't be surprised anymore, both of them sleep without their shirts on, but usually when he wakes up, Jihoon had already taken his shower and he’s already dressed in his business suit. He forgot that waking up earlier means he also gets to see Jihoon's almost naked body.
“Good morning, Jihoon-ah.” Soonyoung places the eggs on the counter and before walking past Jihoon, he gently brushes out his fringes and Jihoon leans into his touch.
“You cooked?” Jihoon blinks, trying to stay awake. Soonyoung drags him towards his seat.
“I didn't forget the salt this time.” Soonyoung says proudly. As he went back in the kitchen to get two servings of rice.
“Let's see.” Jihoon smiles, rubbing his eyes for a bit before taking his chopsticks to get a small piece of Soonyoung's scrambled eggs and taste it.
“How is it?” Soonyoung asks as he gets settled on his seat, opposite to Jihoon's.
“Beautifully cooked.” Jihoon says, pressing his fingers together, copying one of Gordon Ramsay’s line from one of their favorite shows.
Soonyoung laughs at him. “Thanks, chef!” He says, giving him a salute.
Their breakfast goes on peacefully. Jihoon brewed them some coffee, and now they are talking about Jihoon's business trip, how tiring and boring it was, and Jihoon said something along the lines of wishing Soonyoung was there to make the trip more fun and enjoyable. Soonyoung shrugged it off, but deep inside his heart was jumping in joy and he hoped that Jihoon didn't notice his ears getting red.
“I’ll go wash the dishes.” Jihoon says after finishing up his coffee.
“No, don't worry about it.” Soonyoung stands up before Jihoon does, and starts stacking the empty plates up.
Jihoon frowns at him. “You already cooked, it's just right I take care of the dishes.”
“You cook meals everyday and wash the dishes on your own. Let me do this, Jihoon-ah.”
After he said that, he was suddenly reminded of his conversation with Wonwoo and Jun a few days ago. The one where they said how Jihoon kept doing things for Soonyoung that made them think Jihoon likes him romantically.
“Why do you do that, anyway?” Soonyoung asks.
“Do what?” Jihoon tilts his head at Soonyoung, eyebrows furrowed.
“You know, I’m not complaining, Jihoonie… It’s just that I know I never asked you to cook us breakfast everyday and even pack me lunch. I was just wondering why you're doing it.”
Jihoon stares at Soonyoung for a few seconds, and for some reason it makes Soonyoung nervous. However, Jihoon immediately breaks into a wide grin.
“If I don't cook for you, you’ll either burn down the house or you’ll die starving.” Jihoon shakes his shoulders and gives him a look that tells him what Jihoon is doing is only natural and common sense. He’s right, Soonyoung can't cook for the love of god, and if Jihoon doesn't pack him lunch he’ll probably forget to eat for the rest of the day.
“Thanks for keeping me alive.” Soonyoung comments. “Now leave and go take a shower or whatever. The dishes are mine today.”
Jihoon rolls his eyes but fails to hide his smile.
—
“Soonyoung-ah! You bought my chips?” Jihoon asks from the kitchen to Soonyoung who was picking a movie on their TV.
“On the left cabinet!” He shouts back.
Soonyoung hears a rustling sound before Jihoon shouts again. “Coke?”
“Bought a whole box of it! Under the sink!”
There was a pregnant pause from Jihoon’s end, and Soonyoung immediately realizes why.
“There’s ice in the freezer! Your cans can't fit in our fridge anymore!” Soonyoung adds, and soon after, a satisfied Jihoon takes up the remaining space beside Soonyoung holding a bag of chips and a glass of coke with ice in his hands.
“You're the best.” Jihoon says, locking his arm underneath Soonyoung's and leaning against his shoulder.
This is normal. Soonyoung reminds himself.
—
Soonyoung freezes in place.
And no, it’s not because it started to snow in the second week of December.
He was about to pick Jihoon up. But due to the traffic because of the nearing holidays and the buildup of snow on some major roads, Soonyoung had to park his car a few blocks away near the playground, which was a 10-minute walk away.
When he turned to the corner by Jihoon's office, he saw Jihoon standing by the gate, hands hidden under the pockets of his thick jacket.
He was about to call out to him, when a guy suddenly appeared from behind the gate and waved his hand in front of Jihoon.
The guy was tall, dark, and handsome. A perfect recipe of anyone's man of their dreams. He was too tall that Jihoon had to crane up his neck to look at him, Soonyoung admits Jihoon looked kinda cute like that. But Soonyoung's smile faltered when the guy handed Jihoon a small box, wrapped in white cover and topped with a red bow.
Soonyoung froze, his hands clenching into fists when Jihoon accepted the box and smiled ever so brightly at the guy in front of him. There was no doubt Soonyoung couldn't stand against such a good-looking guy with puppy-like features. Soonyoung doesn't even need to hear what they were talking about when it's clear with the way the guy fiddled with his fingers, feet shuffling nervously, eyes and cheeks turning red as Jihoon says something inaudible to him–
Jihoon's the prettiest boy he knows, and it's no longer a surprise that other boys get attracted to him easily.
Too easily. Soonyoung laughs at himself. He’s guilty, your honor.
When the guy leaves and Jihoon looks around in search for his chaperone, his eyes meet Soonyoung's and he almost melted— even though it's already negative four degrees by now— at the way Jihoon's eyes lit up when they locked eyes with each other. Oh god, he’s so pretty. His smile is even brighter than the sun. The way his hair flows in the air feels like magic— it’s so unfair that everything Soonyoung looks for in a guy to love and spend his whole life with is packed and beautifully wrapped in the form of Lee Jihoon, his best friend, and his first love.
Deep breaths. Soonyoung almost fainted due to the lack of oxygen in his lungs and he only snapped back to reality when Jihoon playfully bumped him on his shoulder. “Hey! What’re you staring at?” Jihoon squinted his eyes, bringing his face close to Soonyoung’s— awfully close. Soonyoung felt himself hold his breath again for the nth time today.
Good thing for the past 15 years of hiding his feelings from his best friend, he already learned how to act around Jihoon nonchalantly when he catches him off guard.
“Jihoonie’s got a new admirer.” Soonyoung fakes a teasing smile, gently nudging Jihoon’s arm. “What’s in it?”
Jihoon glares at Soonyoung, before shrugging. “Dunno.”
Soonyoung sees the small pout forming in Jihoon’s lips, it was shiny and glassy— oh of course he put on some lipbalm because Jihoon gets the worst cracking on his lips during this time of the year.
“Come on, open it up! I wanna see!” Soonyoung gives Jihoon an expecting look, and as usual, Jihoon always gives in to Soonyoung. Jihoon unties the bow on the small box and gently removed the wrapper. Soonyoung helped him by holding the box in place as he opened it, revealing a small snowglobe with a figure of a boy playing the piano in the center. Jihoon carefully shakes it, and the small pieces of what should be the “snow” started gracefully falling from top to bottom.
“Oh, it’s pretty.” Soonyoung comments, even though he’s not even a little bit interested in the object Jihoon is holding in his hands.
He doesn’t miss the way Jihoon’s eyes twinkled, watching the snow fall one by one, and the small smile forming on his lips.
“It is.” Jihoon whispers.
Soonyoung felt like he slipped on the ground and hit his head on a pile of snow— which was supposed to be soft, but it turns out it’s just a big block of ice cube. He’s so down bad, thinking knocking his head off is better than hearing Jihoon like someone else’s gift for him.
“You like it.” Soonyoung says, eyes never leaving Jihoon’s, and he also doesn’t miss the way Jihoon looked up at him and met his gaze, only to turn away after a split second.
He knows he should stop noticing every little thing that Jihoon does.
But he still doesn’t miss the way Jihoon hurriedly put the snowglobe back inside the box, closing it tightly before taking it from Soonyoung’s hand and keeping it inside his bag.
Soonyoung did not say anything, instead, he reached from his pocket to grab his hotpack and slid it onto Jihoon’s palm.
Jihoon finally looks up to him with a small smile, muttering a quick and cute thank you.
They started walking back to Soonyoung’s car, and what seemed to be an easy 10-minute walk became a challenge due to the slippery ground. They carefully, slowly, and silently, walked side by side.
“So…” Soonyoung breaks the silence after a few moments. He knows what he’s gonna say might annoy Jihoon, but the Soonyoung inside him, who has a big fat crush on his bestfriend, loves to torture himself by asking the questions that he doesn’t really want to hear the answer for.
“Aren’t you gonna tell me about that guy?”
Jihoon huffs, a small smoke escaping through his nose. But Soonyoung knows Jihoon, he tells him everything. Every detail of his life, or his day at least. Not a lot of people know, but Jihoon is such a big yapper, only when he’s talking, or sharing— or complaining to Soonyoung about his life.
“He’s Kim Mingyu, he got hired a few months ago. I was the one who did his new employee orientation. I trained him and all…” Jihoon puts his hands back inside his pockets and Soonyoung looks at him as he talks, but his eyes are mostly focused on Jihoon’s nose that’s now turning red.
“He’s a smart guy. I had no problems with him. He’s quick to catch on, but sometimes he seems a bit clumsy.” Jihoon adds.
“He’s quite a handsome guy, isn’t he?” Soonyoung says, hoping Jihoon registers the slight shaking in his voice as a result of the cold temperature. “He confessed to you?”
Jihoon pressed his lips in a thin line before nodding slowly. “He actually took a 2-week vacation leave that’s why he gave me the gift a little too early— which was funny by the way, ‘cause new hires don’t really get approved of that long of a leave. I guess he charmed everyone in the office—”
Including you? Soonyoung wanted to ask.
“—anyway, he said he liked me and was very thankful of me. He asked me if I wanted to go out with him once he comes back after Christmas.”
Oh, right. A plan for Christmas.
It’s kinda funny how a random guy from Jihoon’s workplace beat him to it.
“So, you got yourself a Christmas date.” Soonyoung fakes a chuckle. “You deserve it, Jihoonie. Maybe it’s your Christmas miracle. I also think it’s time for you to find someone to—”
“I didn’t say yes.” Jihoon says in his small voice, cutting Soonyoung off. “I turned him down.”
Soonyoung looks at Jihoon, confused and taken aback. Honestly, out of all the guys that asked Jihoon out before? Mingyu seems like the coolest one.
“What… w-why?” Soonyoung stutters, not sure if it's because of the temperature dropping lower, causing his lips to freeze. “You looked good with him. You also seemed happy about his gift.”
Soonyoung sees Jihoon grimacing, and he doesn't know why.
Jihoon's been asked on a date at least ten times when they were in high school, twenty during college, and five since they started working.
Jihoon is good-looking, talented, and hardworking. He’s also a good friend, good at cooking, good at everything— he’s just perfect! It's kind of hard to think that someone like Jihoon had never been in a relationship, not even once in his life.
“I still don’t understand.” Soonyoung says. “Why have you never dated anyone, Jihoon-ah?”
Jihoon stops in his tracks, making Soonyoung stop as well. Jihoon turned his head to look at Soonyoung and he couldn't decipher Jihoon's expression. His eyebrows were a bit furrowed, looking like he's quite annoyed, but a playful smile sits on his lips.
“Because they’re not the one I want.” Jihoon says, eyes locking with Soonyoung’s.
They stayed like that for half a minute, and Soonyoung doesn't know how he should react to what Jihoon just said. Was Jihoon in love with someone all these years? Was it someone from high school? But all of their friends back then already got married– maybe it's someone Soonyoung doesn't know?
The thought of Jihoon being in love with someone else after all these years instantly sent him to his deathbed. It's done. It's finished. No matter how much Soonyoung likes Jihoon, he can't compete with someone who Jihoon has been in love with for over a decade.
A shiver runs down from Soonyoung's spine as he stared at Jihoon with his mouth hung open, unable to form words to give Jihoon a response. Good thing when his hands trembled, Jihoon thought it was just because due to the cold.
“Do you have one on you?” Jihoon takes the hotpack out from his pocket and offers it to Soonyoung.
“No,” Soonyoung shakes his head, swallowing down his throat when he almost forgot how to properly speak. “I forgot to bring extra.”
Jihoon rolled his eyes. With the hotpack in his palm, he grabs Soonyoung's hand and intertwines their fingers.
Soonyoung's heart raced. And for a second he thought, can someone who's in love with another person do things like this with his best friend?
He wasn't sure if he warmed up due to the hotpack or because of the amused look on Jihoon's face. It's almost as if he's telling him straight to his face that he’s dumb. And it doesn't help that Jihoon's got a good grip on his hand that he knows he could never escape nor run away.
“Let's go home, Soonyoung-ah.”
—
“Okay, tell me.” Soonyoung grabs Wonwoo by his shoulders and gave him a determined look.
“Do you really think Jihoon's in love with me?”
Wonwoo's eyes widened in surprise, but his expression soon changed into something more… pleasing? Like he's happy, and he looks like he feels relieved. Was Soonyoung really that dumb?
“Oh my God, finally. Jun’s going to be ecstatic.” Wonwoo laughs. “Yes, you idiot! You finally realized now?”
Soonyoung's hand drops from Wonwoo's shoulders, now he's biting into his fingernails.
“I–” Soonyoung starts. “I always thought what we were doing was something that normal friends do… But when you told me about all the things that Jihoon does for me… I started to notice it as well. Then he told me he has never dated anyone since high school because he likes someone else. I put the puzzle pieces together, the clue was on the same day, Jihoon held my hand– oh God, Wonwoo, he held my hand so tightly until we reached home I felt like I was gonna combust any time!”
Soonyoung tried to catch his breath and Wonwoo was just laughing beside him. He wishes Jun was there to witness their friend crash out.
“But, I don't get it, Wonwoo…” Soonyoung settled back on his seat and looked down at his hands. “If this is true, why did he never tell me?”
Wonwoo stops laughing for once. This time, he's the one to grab Soonyoung's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Why did you never tell Jihoon about how you feel?”
Soonyoung sighs, “I’m just happy to be with him, even if it's just as a friend. I couldn't risk it, Wonwoo. I didn't know if he felt the same. I was scared to break our friendship, to break everything we had built over the years…”
Soonyoung's voice shakes, he’s so close to tearing up. Looking back on all those years, he tried so hard to forget his feelings for his best friend because he was pretty sure Jihoon would never feel the same towards him. He tried so hard not to fall in too deep, to stop himself from pulling Jihoon close and hugging him in his arms, to kiss his lips whenever he pouts. God knows Soonyoung tried so hard to resist. But even after everything, his love for Jihoon remained. It has endured even after all these years, kept hidden in the dark.
“So I told myself it's better to keep my feelings a secret rather than live a life without him. I convinced myself that what we had was enough.”
That's until he couldn't fight it anymore, not now when every hint he had on his hands point to the fact that Jihoon is in love with him, after all these years, the same way he does.
Wonwoo nods at Soonyoung, giving him a small but reassuring smile. “Talk to him, Soonyoung. If you're still not convinced that he loves you, go ask him yourself.”
—
“Jihoon-ah.” Soonyoung calls out to Jihoon who is lying down on the couch, busy playing with his phone.
There's only one week left before Christmas.
“Hm?” Jihoon responds without looking at Soonyoung. He kept on tapping at his phone as he played some kind of a rhythm game Soonyoung sucks at.
“Are you going home for Christmas?" Soonyoung asks.
Jihoon doesn’t answer for a while and Soonyoung takes the time to slide into the space where Jihoon’s feet are hanging, placing his legs over his lap. Jihoon nudges one foot against Soonyoung’s stomach, and Soonyoung grabs it, pressing his fingers against the sole of his foot in a rubbing motion.
When the music from Jihoon’s game finally stops, he pauses and looks up from his screen. Soonyoung is already watching him, and their eyes meet for a quiet moment.
“Are you?” Jihoon asks, face blank and unreadable.
Soonyoung’s eyebrows furrowed. “Me? I couldn’t take a long leave because Wonwoo’s going on a vacation. I have work on the 24th and the 26th.” Soonyoung says, as he continued pressing the sides of Jihoon’s foot before moving to the other. “So, no. I’m staying here.”
Jihoon groans when Soonyoung presses down on a tight muscle in his foot. Instinctively, he yanks his leg back, a small whine catching in his throat. “Then I’m not.”
Soonyoung’s mouth gaped, he continued to stare at Jihoon who already turned his eyes back on his phone as he started a new level in his game.
“Why?” Soonyoung asks, fingers playing on the hem of the shirt he’s wearing. He thinks he knows the answer, but is still cautious not to assume things.
Ever since high school, Jihoon spent every Christmas back at his grandparents’ house in the countryside, so the two of them could only meet again once Winter break was over. They’ve only been living together for about a year, and this is the first time Jihoon had chosen to stay and celebrate Christmas with him instead.
There was a long silence, with only the music from Jihoon’s phone playing in the background.
Then Jihoon shrugs, and Soonyoung doesn’t ask any further.
—
It was already past 9 in the evening when Soonyoung finally came home.
The traffic was the worst he’d ever experienced, with most families or couples spending their Christmas eve outside, eating dinners at fancy restaurants, others doing last-minute gift shopping, and there are also some rushing to get home to make it in time before the clock strikes twelve.
When Soonyoung turns the knob and peeks through the door, he is greeted by the delicious smell of smoked ham and fresh fruits.
Soonyoung’s eyes twinkled in excitement, gone were the soreness on his feet and arms, the tiredness from doing a whole 8-hour shift at work during the holidays. He told himself it was all worth it, knowing that he’ll come home to this— remembering that this is his first Christmas with Jihoon.
“Jihoon-ah!” Soonyoung skipped through their living room and towards the kitchen where Jihoon is still prepping their dessert. “Oh wow, you made that?”
Jihoon turns his head to look up at Soonyoung, proudly lifting the red velvet cake he made to show to Soonyoung. “Of course, who else would?” Jihoon says, showing a cheeky smile.
Soonyoung felt his knees weaken, it’s unfair how Jihoon could be so adorable and how Soonyoung is so head over heels for him.
“Taste test?” Soonyoung wriggles his eyebrows, hands already motioning to pick a small piece of the cake but Jihoon quickly moves it away from his sight.
“Nope!” Jihoon glares at him. “No desserts before dinner.” He says, which made Soonyoung pout. “Go and get changed so we can finally eat!” Jihoon kicks one foot towards Soonyoung, shooing him away.
Soonyoung fakes a groan, but his smile was so wide he’s sure Jihoon’s already noticed how he’s just being his usual dramatic self. He hears Jihoon softly hum a song as he sets up the table while Soonyoung heads to his room.
When Soonyoung comes back, Jihoon is already waiting for him at the table, looking down at his phone. He notices that Jihoon prepared a lot more than he expected. There’s a bunch of different side dishes, there’s even some pasta— oh they’re even drinking wine tonight. Soonyoung thought this is too much for the two of them but he couldn’t keep his heart from swelling knowing that Jihoon prepared all of this for him.
“I—” Jihoon perks up at the sound of Soonyoung’s voice. “Jihoon-ah, Thank you.”
Then Jihoon smiles again. It’s soft—so small compared to the intensity of Jihoon’s entire presence, yet Soonyoung can feel the weight of everything that smile carries. Warmth, happiness, a quiet kind of affection that settles right in his chest. It’s the kind of smile Soonyoung wants to wake up to every single day of his life.
“You’re welcome, Soonyoungie. Let’s eat?”
They slipped into an easy, comfortable quietness as they ate. Jihoon asked how Soonyoung’s day had gone and he proceeded to share how stressful it was to work understaffed during the holidays. Jihoon consoled him by putting more kimchi onto his plate and Soonyoung’s whole face brightened at the gesture. Their quiet night turned into something more vibrant, the room was filled with Soonyoung’s animated story-telling of a memory he randomly recalled from their highschool, and Jihoon laughs at him like it’s the funniest thing he ever heard. Soft Christmas music played on Jihoon’s speakers, and the fairylights they put over the corners of the ceiling as an attempt for a simple Christmas decor flickered gently above them.
The moment they clinked their glasses and took a sip of their wine, it all came down to Soonyoung—
Everything felt perfectly right— like this was exactly how they were meant to be.
Like they were already, finally, in the place they were supposed to be.
Soonyoung gently, deliberately slowing down his actions, because he knows, he feels, it’s finally the right time to ask Jihoon the question and there’s a part of him that wants to delay this for as long as he could, afraid that if what he assumes was wrong, everything will just disappear from his sight.
“Jihoon-ah.” Soonyoung calls out to him, and he notices the way Jihoon’s eyelashes fluttered as he looked up at him. The way a few strands of his hair fell over his face and the way Jihoon’s long and slender fingers tucked them back behind his ear. He notices the small smile on Jihoon’s lips that lingered even after their conversation has long ended.
Most importantly, he notices how Jihoon’s eyes sparkled every time he looked at him. Oh how dumb was he not to notice it sooner.
“A-are you in love with me?”
It wasn’t the best way to ask Jihoon how he felt towards him, but his heart was racing, and his hands were trembling. The air in his lungs is almost running out, and he already feels a little buzzed from the awfully small amount of wine he drank.
Jihoon blinked at him. Once, then twice, before he bursts into laughter.
Soonyoung looks at Jihoon confused, was he laughing because he thinks Soonyoung was joking? Or was he laughing because the idea of him having feelings for Soonyoung is funny?
Soonyoung's heart was pounding inside his chest. He was about to take it back and tell Jihoon that he was just messing with him, but Jihoon suddenly stood up and walked towards Soonyoung, face red, and eyes still watery from laughing too much.
“God, I thought you will never realize. I thought I still had to wrap myself in a gift wrapper for you to notice.”
The confusion in Soonyoung’s face only grew wider. “Wait, what?”
“Yes, Soonyoung. I’m very much in love with you. I was hoping you had realized sooner though.” There was a hint of playfulness in Jihoon’s tone and Soonyoung just realizes that he’s teasing him.
Soonyoung jumps out of his seat, standing in front of Jihoon who was still smiling at him. “Why didn't you just tell me?”
“Because it was funny watching you get flustered every time I try to make a move.”
Soonyoung dramatically gasps and it made Jihoon roll his eyes at him before smacking his arm lightly. “Jihoon-ah! You're so mean!”
Jihoon just shrugs, “What could I do? You looked cute.”
Soonyoung's face heats up at Jihoon's compliment. “I–” He tries to hide his red face in his palm. “What if I never asked you?”
Jihoon stops and thinks for a moment.
“Then I’m just gonna keep on waiting.” Jihoon’s playful smile shifted into something soft and Soonyoung’s knees felt weak, he tried so hard to keep himself from jumping at his best friend right then and there.
“What if I told you I don't feel the same?” Soonyoung asks, not sure why, but he can’t deny his curiosity on why Jihoon was so calm and relaxed saying that he’ll wait for him when they can’t be sure if they liked each other.
“Don’t you?” Jihoon’s brows furrowed, worry creeping into his face
Soonyoung almost choked at Jihoon’s question, “No– of course I do!”.
Jihoon kept his expression for a few moments before he let out a snort, “I know. It was so obvious.”. He raises an eyebrow at him, a small smirk forming at the corner of his lips, “Plus you might've slipped one time when you were drunk.”.
Soonyoung’s eyes widened, ears turning red. When was that? The last time he got dead-drunk was 3 months ago…
That’s also the same time Jihoon started acting a lot more clingy than usual. “That’s–!”
Before he could say something, he was cut off by soft lips pressing against his, it was short, and brief, but he felt how soft and warm it was, the tingling sensation running down through his spine. How many times have he wondered how it feels to kiss Jihoon, his best friend, and the love of his life? But no matter how much he had imagined it, no words could actually describe the real feeling. It definitely seemed like the world stopped spinning for the both of them.
“You’re such an idiot, Soonyoung.” Jihoon looks up at Soonyoung with a flushed face. Ears red and eyes twinkling brightly under the fairy lights. “Now tell me. I want to hear it from you.”
Soonyoung finally brought his hands to cup Jihoon’s face, his thumb gently caressing Jihoon’s soft cheek. He stares at him for a few seconds, admiring how beautiful Jihoon is like this, looking at him with eyes that scream adoration, his soft lips curving into a pout when Soonyoung stays silent instead of telling him the words he wanted to hear. He looked so adorable, and lovely, and Soonyoung just wanted to wrap him in his arms and shower him with kisses.
“I love you, Jihoonie.” Soonyoung says, so gently yet surely, because Jihoon deserves the most gentle and assuring love in this world.
“I love you too, Soonyoungie.” Jihoon giggles. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” Soonyoung replies.
Then finally, finally, they close the small gap in between them.
Good thing Soonyoung bought Jihoon a new lip balm as a Christmas gift— Jihoon has to be prepared, because it looks like they'll be kissing a whole lot more this time.