Chapter Text
Yuuta had always been the obedient son—one who never needed his parents to look out for him.
He learned early how to manage on his own, how to keep his grades, his manners, and his emotions in check so that they don’t have to worry about it.
It was easier that way.
But honestly, he just grew out of it.
So it was unusual for him to see his mother standing by his kitchen counter. This almost never happened before. Ever since he moved out, he could only count on one hand how many times his parents visited him in his place—most of if they weren’t even together.
“So, are we really having that summer trip?”
His mother nodded in reply, balancing a basket of fruits on one arm while unpacking the containers she’d brought. “Yeah. Your father really needs it. You know how workaholic he is.”
That summer trip had been a family tradition for as long as Yuuta could remember. It started as a way to entertain the kids back then, but over time, it became a habit—a reason for them to share meals, tell stories, and laugh under one roof, just like before.
Yuuta moved closer. “You didn’t have to bring this much.”
“I was getting worried, you’ve been starving yourself—” she said, distracted as she opened the fridge. Her brows lifted slightly. “Well, this is new. You’ve been eating well?”
Yuuta froze for half a beat. The fridge was full—stacked containers, bottles that weren’t his. Even the utensils in the sink had doubled since the last time she came.
He forced a light laugh. “Come on, Mom, I’m not a kid anymore.”
Obviously because Toge’s almost here every day, he thought. Yuuta had grown used to seeing an extra mug on the counter, a jacket draped over the couch, the faint scent of Toge’s shampoo on the pillow.
All these traces of him were scattered around like they belonged here.
But he didn’t say it.
“I appreciate it, Mom. I’ll take care of these,” Yuuta said, moving the basket full of fruits on the other side.
His mother smiled faintly and reached up to cup his face “Son,” she said softly, “are you dying to make me leave?”
Yuuta blinked, caught off guard. “What? No, I just—”
“Why did you leave Toge in the lobby? You were together. I thought he’d come up with us.”
The moment his mother found them in the parking lot, Toge wasn’t just surprised—
They were standing close, maybe too close, and hands unconsciously linked when they heard his mother’s voice. Toge’s reaction wasn’t shock alone—it was fear. Yuuta felt it in the way his grip faltered. He saw it, too, in those wide violet eyes that tried to stay composed but couldn’t quite hide the tremor.
And yet, despite the panic that flickered across his face, Toge had managed a smile. He greeted Yuuta’s mother politely—like she wasn’t a stranger who’d just caught them in something they couldn’t explain.
Yuuta knew why. His mother had always been fond of Toge. Back then, she used to call him the hero who brought Daichi home—the boy who patched what Yuuta couldn’t. Maybe Toge remembered that warmth, and maybe that was why he didn’t want to disappoint her now.
It was Toge’s idea to wait in the lobby, pretending it was just to give Yuuta and his mother time alone. But Yuuta knew better. It wasn’t just courtesy—it was Toge’s way of hiding, of giving him a choice.
And honestly, Yuuta didn’t want that. He didn’t want to put Toge aside, not when all he wanted was to keep him close. But he also couldn’t bear to see him cornered in a situation he wasn’t ready to face.
“He was just dropping by,” Yuuta said carefully, “I was going to give him something then I’ll drive him home.”
That was the plan.
Or at least, that was the lie.
They were supposed to have a movie date tonight.
“I wasn’t able to greet him properly,” She sighed. “Make sure to bring him on our summer trip.”
The image of Toge sitting in the lobby flashed in his mind again—probably scrolling through his phone just to look occupied. He could almost hear how Toge would respond to that invitation, with his soft smile.
She tapped Yuuta’s shoulder. “I’m sure Toge will love the new villa—it has a beach.”
The thought of Toge by the sea—barefoot in the sand, eyes bright under the sun touched his heart. More than that, he felt relieved that his mother didn’t seem to suspect anything.
Maybe, just maybe, they’d escaped that scene in the parking lot unscathed.
“The villa’s owned by one of your father’s business partners,” his mother went on, “A very lovely family. Your father actually wants you to meet their daughter—
Yuuta arched his brow. “If that’s another blind date, I’m going to have to pass on that.”
“You’re almost thirty.” His mother looked at him, and might be looking for the traces of him when he was young. “Just meet her, that’s all I’m asking. It wouldn’t hurt to try.”
“Mom, I don’t—”
“Your father and I just want you to have a future you won’t regret.”
Yuuta exhaled, trying to hold back the words pressing against his throat. I already know what I want, he thought. And it’s not what you think.
But he didn’t say it.
After making sure his mother got into a cab, Yuuta stood by the curb for a moment, sighing, as the vehicle disappeared from sight.
He fished out his phone. Several unread messages waited from Toge.
Take your time. I’ll be waiting down here.
A short clip—a cat trying to fit inside a small box, tail flicking stubbornly.
I want a cat.
I know you’re just upstairs, but I can’t help missing you. This is your fault.
Forget that. It wasn’t me.
I’ll just go home. Let’s talk tomorrow. :)
Yuuta’s grip on the phone tightened.
He glanced around the lobby, every corner—the couch near the window, the rows of potted plants, even the vending machine by the elevator. No sign of Toge.
He pressed the call button, already striding toward the parking lot. The line rang once, twice—no answer.
His heart raced. It wasn’t panic exactly, but a voice whispered that if he didn’t catch Toge now, he might lose him. Maybe not completely, but enough for it to hurt.
He reached his car, mind racing with everything he couldn’t say earlier. The thought of blind dates, of everything his mother had planned—it all blurred into background noise.
Because right now, Yuuta didn’t have time for any of that. He didn’t have time to waste.
The line finally connected just as Yuuta turned the corner out of his street.
“Toge?” His voice came out too desperate. The sound of static crackled before the screen lit up with a shaky FaceTime feed.
Toge’s face was blurry, the camera angled awkwardly. He looked like he was walking somewhere. For a moment, all Yuuta could hear was the faint wind on Toge’s end.
“Hey,” Yuuta said again, as he drove. “Where are you? You said you’d wait downstairs.”
“Let’s meet at the park. Near my place.”
Yuuta didn’t even think twice. “Stay there. I’m coming.”
The call ended, and he pressed harder on the gas. The streets blurred by, all thoughts of his mother’s words faded behind him. There was only one thing that mattered right now—getting to where Toge is.
When he arrived, the park was already quiet deep in the evening as Toge stood by the path, phone in hand, gaze lowered as though reading something on the screen. His hair shifted softly with the wind.
Yuuta slowed to a stop, stepped out, and without saying a word, took off his jacket. He draped it over Toge’s shoulders, the fabric slipping easily against the other’s skin.
Toge blinked up at him, startled for half a heartbeat, before smiling. He raised his hands and signed, Hi.
Yuuta didn’t hesitate. He pulled him close, arms wrapping tight around his smaller frame, burying his face into Toge’s shoulder. The scent of him—warm, familiar—filled him and erased the panic in his chest.
“You had me worried,” Yuuta murmured against the warm skin he’s holding.
Toge giggled softly, his hand finding Yuuta’s back, rubbing slow circles in comfort. When Yuuta finally leaned back, their eyes met—impossibly soft.
“Why did you leave?”
Toge only shrugged and signed, I thought you needed more time to talk to her.
It didn’t take long for Yuuta to answer. He cupped Toge’s face, thumbs brushing lightly over his cheeks. “Were you worried she’d found out?” he asked softly.
Toge didn’t reply right away. He only stood there, with his purple eyes then leaned into Yuuta’s touch.
For a moment, Yuuta forgot to breathe. How could someone look like that—pale as snow, yet bright as the sun? Toge always carried that contradiction, fragile and radiant all at once.
When he finally spoke, his voice was small, careful. “She can’t find out.”
Yuuta’s chest tightened. He hadn’t thought about that—not really. The secrecy, the risks, the line they were still tiptoeing around. He guided Toge toward a nearby bench, their shoulders brushing as they sat.
He thought they were past this—that after everything, it would finally be easy. That now they had chosen each other, there was nothing left to hide. He thought loving Toge openly was the natural next step.
But Toge’s gaze told him otherwise.
“At least for now,” Toge murmured, looking down at his hands.
Yuuta exhaled slowly, studying him. “So you want to hide it for now?”
Toge nodded once.
A sigh left Yuuta’s lips. “Alright.”
Whatever Toge wanted—he’d follow. Even if it meant restraining himself again, holding back the words constantly pressing at his throat. He’d done it before, after all—kept his feelings locked away where no one could see.
How hard could it be to do it again?
Yuuta looked down at them, then up at Toge. “But if it’s just the two of us,” he said, “I don’t need to hold back. I can’t hide how much I feel about you. I want to be true to you.”
Toge’s lips curved into a soft smile. He cupped Yuuta’s cheek, and leaned in to press a kiss. It wasn't a direct answer in words, but it was permission—an acceptance to be loved by the one he’d been yearning for all along.
After some time, with only the cold breeze threading through their silence, Yuuta finally spoke.
“She’s expecting you at the summer trip,” he said, eyes still fixed on their joined hands. “You’d go, right?”
Toge looked at him and nodded, lifting his hands to sign, Of course I’ll be there. A small smile followed. What else did she say?
Yuuta hesitated. The words sat heavy on his tongue. He thought about leaving it out—the part about the blind date but the thought of keeping secrets from Toge felt worse than anything his mother could arrange. After all, it wasn’t like he had any interest in it.
He had no space for anyone else anymore. He couldn’t imagine sitting across a stranger, pretending to care about their favorite color or how they took their coffee, when his whole world was already sitting beside him. What use was a blind date when he’d already found the person who made every ordinary thing in life worth remembering?
“She wanted me to go on a blind date.”
He peeked at Toge’s face, bracing for a face of hurt or surprise—but there was none. Toge simply listened, gaze calm, hand still threaded with his.
Go with it, Toge signed after a moment.
Yuuta blinked. “What?” He turned fully toward him. You want me to go?
Toge nodded.
Yuuta frowned, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. “Was I not being clear? It’s you that I like. Or do you not believe me right now? I told you—I’d do everything to win you back, and you’re telling me—”
Toge sighed softly and cut him off with a shake of his head. His hands moved again. You said you like me, so I don’t have to worry about it. It won’t be serious, right? You can just have lunch with whoever it is.
Yuuta, filled with frustration and disbelief, raised his hand. I just don’t understand why you’re okay with this.
Toge’s lips lifted into a faint, bittersweet smile, as though remembering something from long ago. Yuuta, he signed slowly, I used to think you were someone I wouldn’t be able to hold but look at us now. He lifted their linked hands, fingers intertwined tightly. I’ve liked you for years. A single blind date will never change that.
Yuuta’s face crumpled slightly, slightly pouting, “But why would you even want me to—It’s like you’re letting me go.”
Toge reached forward, both hands cupping Yuuta’s face now. His palms were warm, soft against Yuuta’s chilled skin.
“I’m not letting you go.” he said, eyes never leaving his. “But you just can’t be this stubborn with your parents. I’ll be here. I’ll wait for you, okay?”
The wind moved softly between them, brushing through their hair. Yuuta leaned into the touch, closing his eyes briefly. He wanted to believe those words—to let them be enough.
Yuuta can’t find out about this.
That was the first thought that crossed Toge’s mind as he stared at his phone, another message from his landlord blinking at the top of the screen.
He’d completely forgotten about his lease coming up. The apartment he was staying in was meant only for students attending the nearby university, and his landlord had been kind enough to extend it for him—but not this time. A new batch of students was moving in. The message was clear: he had a week to finalize everything.
Toge sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he sat on Yuuta’s couch. The place was quiet, he didn’t even turn on the TV—he felt that it was pointless to use it as a way to fill the absence of Yuuta right now.
His phone vibrated and this time it wasn’t from his landlord.
We’re done. I’m heading home.
It was Yuuta.
Toge’s lips lifted faintly. So that was the blind date.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Yuuta—it was just that he didn't want to burden him. Yuuta had enough to think about, especially with his mother and the whole blind date thing.
After their talk at the park, Yuuta had been adamant about not wanting to go. But Toge knew his parents—knew how much pressure they could put on him and if meeting the girl once would make it easier to turn down the idea, then it was worth it. Toge had said as much, and only then did Yuuta reluctantly agree.
He said he wanted to get it over with, that the faster it happened, the less it would stand between them.
Toge replied.
Drive safe.
Another message came in.
What would you like to eat?
Toge tilted his head, bewildered.
I thought you had dinner with her?
Yuuta’s reply came so fast.
Yeah. But I didn’t touch my food. I’d rather eat with you. So tell me, what should I bring?
Toge smiled to himself, glancing at the table in front of him. A small feast already waited there—sushi rolls, tempura, miso soup still steaming faintly.
He wasn’t really worried about the blind date. Maybe it was because of time—or endurance. After everything they’d gone through, being apart, being uncertain, something like this didn’t even shake his heart anymore.
He had faith in Yuuta now. Maybe that was what peace felt like—trusting someone enough not to be afraid of losing them.
Toge replied,
Nothing. Just bring yourself back to me.
The highway stretched endlessly beneath the sun, the cool air touching their skin. Toge sat in the passenger seat, fingers fidgeting on his lap before he turned to look out the window. The fields blurred past in a warm haze. He hadn’t realized how long it had been since he last joined one of these summer trips.
Yuuta glanced sideways, eyes soft behind the wheel. “Are you excited or nervous?”
“Both.”
Yuuta smiled faintly at that. He reached out with one hand, tapping the back of Toge’s hand where it rested on his thigh, before taking it into his own. His thumb brushed gently over his knuckles.
“Daichi might’ve been immature,” Yuuta said, eyes still on the road ahead, “but I’m sure he’s not the kind to hurt you. He loves you, Toge. He was just hurt.”
He knew that. Hell, he even understood what it meant to be pushed away. But Toge had learned to put the past behind him now. Whatever he has right now in front of him is what matters to him. He just hoped that just like him, Daichi had managed to heal and find himself again.
“And about my parents, I’m keeping my promise. I won’t tell them. Only because you don’t want to.”
Toge turned his head, watching Yuuta speak with that voice that always puts him at ease. The sound of it that only doesn't reach his ears but his heart too. Yuuta wasn’t looking at him, but every word felt honest—like he was laying his heart open with each syllable.
Almost every summer he’d spent with the Okkotsu family had felt borrowed, like a fleeting miracle he didn’t deserve. Those days were always bright, full of laughter, but always carried that cruel truth of knowing he wasn’t truly part of it.
But now, sitting beside Yuuta as the road curved toward the sea, it felt different.
Yuuta’s lips tugged into a small pout. “If it were just me,” he murmured, “I’d scream how happy I am that we’re together right now.”
That made Toge laugh under his breath—soft and full of affection. He leaned over, resting his head against Yuuta’s shoulder, eyes half-lidded as the wind swept through the half-open window.
“This will be my favorite summer,” he whispered.
Yuuta smiled, tightening his hold on Toge’s hand. “Mine too.”
The villa looked like something out of a dream.
The property sat on a gentle curve of private shoreline, the white sand stretching endlessly beneath the sun. The air smelled of salt and waves rolled in lazily against the dock. From where they parked, Toge could already see Yuuta’s father out on a jet ski, screaming through the water. Yuuta’s mother was on a lounge chair nearby, sunglasses on, already working on her tan like she’d been there since morning.
They’d arrived a little late afternoon—golden light spilling over the horizon, softening the edges of everything.
Toge walked to the back of the truck, pulling open the trunk to grab their bags. He felt a shadow fall beside him, and without looking, he assumed it was Yuuta.
But when he turned, it wasn’t.
“Daichi,” he breathed.
The younger Okkotsu stood there, sunlight glinting off his freshly buzzed hair. He’d always kept it short, but this was the shortest it had ever been. For a second, Toge just blinked before a small laugh escaped his lips. He lifted a hand, signing with a grin, Your hair—
Daichi rubbed the back of his neck, sheepish. “Yeah, I know. It looks bad right now, but it’ll grow out soon.”
Before Toge could say anything more, Daichi moved to grab one of the suitcases. “I’ll bring your things inside.”
Toge froze for a heartbeat, surprise painted across his face. That was something his friend—Daichi—would’ve said.
“Thanks,” Toge managed, watching him carry the bags toward the villa.
Yuuta came out a moment later. His eyes softened when he saw his brother. “Hey.”
Daichi paused, glanced at him, then sighed. “Guess you being older means you’re wiser too. I understand it now.”
Yuuta chuckled and reached out, ruffling his brother’s freshly cropped hair. With his other hand, he brushed his palm over Toge’s shoulder in may have been the softest but also territorial way in front of Daichi.
“At least you know your mistakes,” Yuuta said lightly.
Daichi snickered, but there was no sharpness in it anymore.
It was only when he was out of sight that Toge turned to Yuuta. “What was that?”
Yuuta shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. “I can’t really hide things from my brother.” He looked out toward the beach, eyes thoughtful. “He already knew.”
The villa was big enough to house Toge his own room as well. He began to unpack some of his necessary things as he heard a knock.
Daichi, with his beach shorts and sando, asked, “Can I come in?”
Toge nodded and made space on the edge of the bed he was sitting on.
Daichi then asked, “Am I disturbing you?”
He shook his head.
Daichi then sighed as he laid down on the bed like a starfish. Toge turned to look at his friend—it had been a few months since they last saw each other, and it felt like something had changed for him too.
Daichi began by signing, I knew you liked my brother for a long time. I was always close to you, so I noticed the look you were giving him.
Toge watched his hands, realizing how much he had missed those familiar signs. It was like they were back at the community center when the two of them could understand the words flowing out of their hands.
It feels like home.
Daichi then continued, You were always concerned about him.You think I wouldn;t notice that every summer, he was the only reason you’d go with us.
Toge flushed, trying to hide it through his knuckles, but he couldn’t look away from this right now. He’d longed to have this conversation—hoping there was a way to mend the cracks that have formed since that night.
“I knew it and yet I still thought you’d get over it in time, so I tried my luck.”
Daichi then looked at the ceiling as he used his voice this time. He raised his hand, looking at his palm.
“What I said that day, forget about it. It’s true that I’ve liked you for years, but it was wrong for me to push my feelings on you as if you’d have to take consequences for it.” Daichi smiled then and signed, I brought it upon myself. I chose to fall for you.
It felt like something heavy left his heart. It felt like a rope was finally loosening its hold around his heart. Toge couldn’t fully let himself be happy with everything if it meant leaving someone he treasured in pain.
Daichi sat up and flicked Toge’s forehead lightly. “Don’t blame yourself for it. It wasn’t your fault. Actually, it’s me who should be saying sorry right now.”
Toge bit his lips, trying not to cry even though his eyelids felt hot and wet. He was really scared to lose Daichi—scared to lose someone over his foolish heart. And he was even more scared to accept Yuuta’s feelings, knowing he had hurt someone else—someone who was close to him too.
He doesn’t want to lose anything if it means gaining the affection he’s been looking for all these years.
Daichi then continued, “I’m sorry for saying those words. I know I hurt you that night.” He reached out and wiped Toge’s tears. “Come on, you can’t cry. My brother might punch me in the gut.”
Toge then reached forward and hugged Daichi—tighter, like how they used to when they were kids. Daichi smelled the same. He smelled like childhood, like the memories they shared.
Daichi rubbed his back, consoling him. “Toge, you will always have a space in my heart. Don’t forget that, okay?”
Toge nodded, hugging his friend even tighter.
“And if you change your mind, you know you have another one here, okay? Just in case you’d want to leave my brother—”
A sound interrupted him. Someone cleared their throat, and a voice came.
“I’ve only gone for a few minutes, and I see my Toge hugging another guy.”
They broke the hug, turning toward the door—Yuuta was there, leaning on the door frame. He had his arms crossed, head titled upward looking at them but the smile on his face felt so soft.
Daichi laughed. “Come on, I’m your brother, not just some other guy.”
Yuuta opened his arms. “I haven’t seen you in a while, and you’re hugging Toge before your older brother?”
Daichi laughed as he stood up, “Seriously, you’re one jealous prick. And for the record, it was Toge who hugged me first.”
Yuuta found his eyes. He was shocked at first but as soon as his pale blue eyes blinked, it was gone—like he knew it didn’t mean anything or at least it would never mean anything at all.
“Fuck! Not my ears!”
“Your language.” Yuuta is still holding Daichi’s ear. “And you dare make him cry?”
Toge watched them fondly, his hands still resting on his lap as their laughs filled the room. For a moment, it almost felt like they were back in the old times—the summers when everything was simpler, when the three of them would run along the shore until the sun disappeared behind the horizon, when their biggest worries were just who’d win the next game or who’d sneak the last popsicle from the freezer.
He could still remember those days vividly—Daichi’s loud voice calling out his name, Yuuta chasing after them, the sound of waves crashing and the warmth of the sand between their toes. Everything used to be so bright, so untouched. They were just kids who thought the world would always stay that way, that the bond they had would never change.
Now, sitting here, Toge could see how much time had passed. Yuuta’s shoulders seemed broader, Daichi too became even taller—watching the two brothers bicker and laughing again brought a sense of past Toge thought he forgot.
It made him realize how much he’d missed this kind of warmth.
And maybe he was selfish for it.
Because if he had to choose all over again, if he could go back and stop himself from falling, he knew he wouldn’t. Even knowing the cracks that could form, the pain that might follow, he would still choose Yuuta.
Every single time.
Yuuta was still strangling Daichi, one arm hooked around his brother’s neck as if he needed to pay him back for everything he’d ever done wrong, even though there was no need.
Toge couldn’t help but smile at the sight—it was loud and messy, but warm. It was the kind of warmth that always surrounded them, the kind that used to make him feel like he belonged.
Yuuta then glanced over, still holding Daichi in a half-headlock, and mouthed, Are you okay?
Toge nodded, raising his hand to form an okay sign.
“Boys! Dinner’s ready!”
“Okay, enough. That’s Mom!” Daichi, catching his breath, pointed at Toge and grinned. “I swear, Toge—if you ever get tired of this lunatic brother of mine, you know you can come to me, okay?”
Yuuta groaned, shoving Daichi aside as he walked toward Toge. “Don’t listen to him,” he said, as he reached out his hand.
Toge chuckled, slipping his hand into Yuuta’s. He signed with a smile, I would never get tired of you.
The words made Yuuta’s face flush pink, and for a second, he looked ready to kiss him right there—if not for Daichi’s exaggerated cough behind them.
“Save that for tonight,” he teased, and Yuuta threw a glare over his shoulder.
As they walked out of the room, Toge and Yuuta didn’t hold hands, but their skin brushed—knuckles grazing, fingers occasionally touching and somehow that was enough. Because even without words, Toge could feel it. Their hearts were intertwined, calling out for each other in the language only they knew.
He was so close to believing that this summer would really be his favorite.
Until he saw what came next.
“Hi.”
A woman stood by the entrance—long silk hair, petite frame outlined by the olive green dress she’s wearing. She has striking eyes and a small mole resting just beneath her chin.
Someone unfamiliar.
Then Yuuta’s mother’s voice followed, cheerful and completely unaware of the tension that suddenly wrapped around Toge’s chest.
“I invited Rika to join us.”