Work Text:
Alec time on the show Disventure Camp so far has been… more eventful that he had expected. He started off on the minority of the Purple Team with the broke ginger girl, Ellie, and the insane girl who’s probably a mental ward escapee that got mad at hikmfor reading a book, Gabby. Thankfully, he didn’t have to deal with her for long, as the majority 4 person alliance consisting of the large coward Will, the scout girl Lill, that annoying farmer girl Ashley, and the even more annoying British guy Nick voted her off quickly due to her love of threatening people over coats. However, this just ended up being a team swap, and the child from the other team, Fiore, who got voted out swapped to his team.
At first, Alec wasn’t very happy about having a child on his team, since he isn’t very fond of those. But Fiore quickly proved her usefulness by winning the first reward challenge by them, and Alec suspected she had more to her than met the eye, and he was right. He suggested she ride with Will to try and cause some conflict between them due to Will’s cowardice in the next challenge, and he succeeded. Will refusing to slide down angered Fiore to the point of slapping and threatening him, and she managed to convince the others that Will went insane, which caused Nick to flip and vote them out, managing to create a dent in the majority due to Ashley and Nick constantly arguing about Will after this. He truly amazed even himself with his own genius at times.
They won the next two challenges, and the reward of the latter one were phone calls to home. He didn’t care about most of the calls he heard, Ashley, Ellie and Lill all discussed money issues or boring stuff with their families or girl scouts, and Fiore actively refused her call. The one call that interested him was Nick actively arguing with his parents about him being mad at them for babying him and them being mad at him for running away to be on the show. He wondered if he could use this to his advantage.
His call… went as badly as it could. His wife was furious with him for leaving for the show and apparently neglecting their son, despite him doing this to win money so they could have a future, and told him to expect divorce papers when he came back! That bitch! After years together, she just decides to divorce him on call? Whatever, he doesn’t care. The call at least ended up giving him more motivation to win since he needed the money even more due to probably having to pay alimony now and party due to him wanting to spite Cheryl.
Something strange he noticed was that the Teal Team didn’t lose any members after losing twice. Gabby, the fat girl, the hot annoying guy with the weird costume, the grumpy grandma and the stupid twink were all still in. He just brushed it off as the producers giving them advantages or something due to them having 2 members less than their team at the start.
They lost the challenge due to the grandma somehow being a good cook. At camp, Lill and Ashley revealed they stole Fiore’s notebook and exposed her true nature to everyone, but only Nick gave a damn, as he and Ellie basically already knew.
He was worried about Fiore potentially heading to a tiebreaker, but she revealed she found a totem while she left for a while in the first challenge, and used it to eliminate Lill, while Ellie managed to convince Gabby, who was chosen as the Teal Team emissary with the twist, to vote off Ashley. Nick wasn’t a threat at all, so taking out the other two was for the best. He questioned Ellie on how she got Gabby to vote Ashley over Nick, but she got flustered when he did. Whatever, as long as she did what she needed to, he didn’t care how she did it.
He was by himself at the Purple Team camp, reading a book and enjoying the lovely silence before he got approached by the British annoyance. He looked pissed, as expected. He was pretty mad after they voted Ashley and Lill off over Fiore who he called “a deranged psychopath” when he found out the truth, but he really couldn’t take his anger seriously at all due to how pathetic he was.
“Alec, you bloody wanker! You have got to be taking the piss!” Nick yelled at him, making Alec groan.
“What the hell do you want, Nick? I’m not in the mood for one of your temper tantrums right now.” Alec scoffed.
“You know damn well what I want! How could you not vote that demon child Fiore off!? I expected this from Ellie since she’s p*or and Gabby because she’s fucking insane, but you were a fellow Brit! How could you screw over Lill like that!?” Nick yelled, making Alec groan. He did not owe this man an explanation for sticking with his alliance.
“Why in the actual fuck would I vote Fiore off? I’ve been allied with her while your little alliance excluded me from the start. It’d make no sense to save them to get Fiore out.” Alec scoffed.
“Well, you should have voted for Fiore because I, the great Nicholas Henry Chlitzer Milton III wanted you to! You’re a disgrace to the entire United Kingdom!” Nick yelled at him, causing Alec to grow even more and more annoyed.
“Oh, grow up you pathetic manchild. Just be glad you were pathetic enough to not be a threat deserving to get voted out.” Alec scoffed at him.
“Hmph, I get it, you think I’m a failure. I’m used to that anyway.” Nick rolled his eyes.
“Uh… what?” Alec raised an eyebrow.
“I know you saw the call, you blasted bastard! My parents always treated me like a useless idiot baby my entire life, and barely let me do anything without coddling me! I came on the show to prove myself, and yet people still treat me like I’m useless, and I’m sick of it!” Nick yelled at him. Ugh, he wasn’t expecting Nick to dump all his issues on him like this! Nick’s parents seemed pretty bad, but also, he was far from the golden standard for a parent himself.
“Well, you should probably talk about that to a therapist, not me.” Alec shrugged.
“What’s the bloody point when they’re probably right, anyway? This show was my chance to prove I could do stuff, but what did I do? I fell for an 8 year old’s lies and caused my entire alliance to implode! I bet I’m just going to be a laughing stock after this season ends, and my parents will never want to see my face again…” Nick sighed. Alec couldn’t deny that he thought Nick was quite pathetic, but he also kind of felt bad for the man. Ever since his wife divorced him, he’s felt that same feeling of patheticness and worthlessness. He was mostly a shut-in who spent time reading, being with Cheryl was the only thing he felt he did right aside from academic accomplishments, but now she and Daniel are gone due to his own mistakes.
“Well… it’s not too late for you to try improving at stuff. I could lend you some of my books to help you learn more about things.” Alec told him.
“Wait, seriously? You want to help me?” Nick questioned.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not fond of you at all, but… I get what it feels like to be pathetic and worthless. I guess I just don’t want to see you suffer like this either.” Alec admitted.
“Hmph, whatever. I still hate you.” Nick pouted and looked away.
“I hate you too.” Alec responded. The two then pulled each other into a kiss and began furiously hate making out, not noticing a small child approached.
“Hey Alec, I… Ew! What the fuck!? I didn’t need to see you reenacting your stupid ass gay hate sex fantasies with the stupid British twat!” Fiore screamed in horror, startling the two men.
“F-Fiore, I-!” Alec stuttered in shock. Nick however, was so shocked about being caught that he ran up to Fiore and kicked her away on instinct.
“Fuck you, rich bitch!” Fiore yelled as she was launched into the sun. Don’t worry, she survived because of cartoon logic.