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Violet stood outside Queen Caitlyn’s bedroom, standing beside the two large doors. Then, she heard her name being called from inside. Gods how she loved her name on the Queens lips. It sounded so sweet and almost gentle.
Getting into position, she opened one of the doors and stepped into her chambers accordingly, seeing the Queen sitting beside her large window, looking out to the kingdom. Her hands rested in her lap, holding a letter.
„Come here..” Caitlyn’s voice was soft, like a melody to Violet’s ears. Vi nodded, removing her helmet and walking over to her Queen.
„Your Majesty..?” she enquired, maintaining her composure the best she could. Caitlyn smiled softly albeit a bit sad. That‘s how she always smiled now-a-days. Ever since the former Queen, her mother, had died from a tragic accident there was always a hint of sadness in her eyes that she couldn‘t quite shake off. Violet could still remember her smile from before. It was bright and genuine, lighting up even the darkest of nights. Now it was more like stars, peeking through the clouds in the midst of a storm - still graceful and irresistable but much less bright.
„I have received a letter.“ the Queen said, „It comes from the neighbouring kingdom, Goldbury.“ Violet knows of it. Piltover and Zaun have been trading with Goldbury ever since they became one kingdom. The only question that Vi had was: „What do they want?“
„The King himself wrote the letter and along with it, he sent this.“ Caitlyn opens her hand and shows Vi the ring in her palm. It was delicate, gold with a saphire in royal blue. Vi‘s heart ached and she looked back to Cait.
„He proposed marriage to you?“ she asked.
„It seems like he did, indeed.“ Cait replied, examing the ring carefully. Vi hesitated, „...Will you accept?“
Queen Caitlyn was quiet for a long time. Too long, considering Vi‘s mind was imagining all the various scenarios that could occur and eventually take Caitlyn away from her. As if she wasn‘t already unreachable now, Vi thought.
„I will visit him.“ the Queen decided and stood up. That was better than a yes but still nerve-wrecking.
„I will ride a carriage tomorrow to his kingdom and I want you to acompany me.“ Caitlyn put the letter and the ring on her drawer and turned back around to Violet. „Not as a knight but as my personal guard.“ Vi was more than a little surprised by these words, but never would she deny the Queen‘s orders. She stood up straighter and said: „Let me be your shield when we go.“
The next day started early. The sun had just risen and the dew hadn‘t even dried yet, the sevants hurried around to prepare everything for the Queen‘s departure. For her time away she had left her trusted advisor, Mel, in charge. Violet was wearing her uniform but no armor this time, her sword in its sheath reflected the morning sun. A few knights would ride in front and behind the carriage, but Caitlyn wouldn‘t be in there alone.
Vi was already on her way to get her horse, when the Queen stopped her. „No, you will ride with me, inside the carriage." Violet was stunned, she was supposed to sit across from the Queen, endure her presence, her scent even, for the whole ride? How could her heart survive this?
„It will be much easier for you to protect me if you stay close.“ Caitlyn added, as if it was necessary for the Queen to explain herself. Vi swallowed and nodded, „Of course, my Queen.“
Once they sat inside, the Queen gave the signal and the ride began.
For some time it was quiet in the carriage, only the sounds of the wheels on the ground and the horse hooves were audible. As they reached the forest that parted the two kingdoms, birdsongs mingled with the other sounds. Even though the noises were soporific, Vi couldn‘t relax. Not with such a heavenly sight; the Queen, relaxed and lost in her thoughts as she looked out the small window and watched the world pass by. Her features were relaxed for once and to Vi it semed like, the Queen only suggested this trip to get a break from all her duties at court. But she wouldn‘t judge, she couldn‘t. In fact, she understood the pressure the Queen was under - in a way, at least. Had she lost her parents in a mining accident. It was back then, when Piltover and Zaun were still enemies and hated each other. The mines collapsed and burried all the workers. Vi and her sister were taken in by two friends of their parents. But the world was harsh and cruel and Vi had to help raise not only her sister but two other boys that were part of their little makeshift family. All her life she had always protected what she loved and she wouldn‘t stop now.
While Vi was lost in her thoughts, her hands had reached into her coat and taken out her notebook. As if on their own, her hand had started writing another poem. And of course, the subject was no one else than the Queen herself.
Her eyes flickered back to Cait. The sun was now hitting her at the perfect angle. Her dark hair shined in a rich, royal blue and her skin seemed so soft like clouds. Then these bewitching eyes landed on her and she averted her gaze.
For a long, torterous moment in which Violet‘s heart raced in her chest, she could feel the Queen studying her. What may she think?
„Will you read one to me?“ Caitlyn cut off Vi‘s flow of thoughts. Vi lifted her gaze, surprised and little panicked. Her eyes switched between her open notebook and the Queen. She swallowed hard.
„Read to you?“ she asked quietly. Caitlyn nodded, „One of your poems.“ Vi‘s breath caught in her throat, this moment couldn‘t be happening. „Forgive me, but I had noticed you writing, so lost in thought and I got curious. I love poems, you know?“ the Queen said and smiled softly. Of course, Vi knew that, but she didn‘t make any attempts to cut off the Queen‘s words.
„I have a few volumes back in my chambers. I tried it too, writing poems, but no matter how long I think, the words never seem to make sense.“
Vi smiled, she knew that feeling all to well. „You don‘t need to think about what to write. You just... write your feelings. What you feel in that exact moment.“
„You make it sound sound so easy.“ the Queen smiled, „Tell me, Violet, is there anything you‘re not good at?“
Vi‘s cheeks flushed pink at the praise and she looked away. „Oh, these poems are not any good.“
„Oh please, I‘ve heard Jayce rave about them. Read it to me. Please, just one.“
Vi‘s eyes flickered back up to Cait‘s and her heart stuttered in her chest. How could she ever say no, when she looked at her with this soft, pleading gaze?
With sweaty hands, she flipped through the pages, filled with her deepest feelings for the very person wanting to hear them now, and searched for one poem that wouldn‘t give her away completly.
The sky holds a million stars,
Shining, glowing, glistening.
But only the spark in her eyes could light up my life,
And only her laugh can brighten my day.
Once Vi was done, she hesitantly looked up to meet the Queen‘s dreamy gaze. „Oh, Violet, that was lovely!“ she enthused. Vi‘s cheeks darkened even further and she mumbled out a „Thank you.“
Luckily Violet‘s awkward moment was yet interrupted by the carriage coming to a stop.
The fresh forest air was a blessing from the gods, so Violet thought. She took deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves and racing heart. But the Queen, ever so observing, noticed her and asked, „It must be hard for you to sit still for so long, right?“ Vi nodded, because she couldn‘t tell her that it was because she was so agonizingly close and so far out of reach at the same time.
„Unfortunatly we will only arrive at sundown. I hope my company won‘t bore you.“
„Oh no, it could never, your Majesty. I‘m honered to ride with you.“ Vi hurried to answer and the Queen smiled. „Thank you, my dear. I enjoy your presence too, very much so.“
Violet‘s heart nearly leaped out of her chest at Cailyn‘s words. There was no way she would survive the remaining hours with her. How could she? When every word the Queen said to her, sent her mind spinning and her heart wanting to jump right out into her hands.
For the next half an hour Vi ran a few rounds around the carriage to not only get her mind off of things but also to move her stiff limbs from sitting for so long. In the mean time Queen Caitlyn ate some grapes and drank some water. And though Violet didn‘t notice, Cait kept a close eye on her, making sure she didn‘t accidently fell and hurt herself.
Vi was a lot calmer when they stepped into the carriage again. She kept herself occupied with her poems and watching the trees through the window, while Caitlyn read her book and finished it.
At sundown they stopped in front of the imposing castle of Goldbury. The King and his dauther, the Princess greeted them with smiles and pleasentries infront of it. Vi stood off to the side, watching the exchange closely with a furrowed brow. Her hand instinctively moved to the sword at her hip, as if to reassure herself it was within reach. The words of her Queen snapped her out of her gaze.
"It's nice to see you again, King Edmund. May I introduce you to my loyal guard and knight, Violet?" she said and gestured for said person to step closer. Vi obeyed the subtle command, striding forward with measured steps. She put her right hand over her heart and bowed politly. The King nodded and the princess smiled. She stood up right again, listening as King Edmund and Queen Caitlyn set plans for the rest of the day and tomorrow. Her gaze flicked between the King and the girl standing beside him, studying them closely. The girl seemed harmless - young and naive. But something told her to not underestimate her. The King however...
The King invited them in, he made sure for their horses and knights was cared for. Then he took Caitlyn for a stroll through the gardens behind his castle. Vi walked a few feet behind them; too far away to hear what was being said but close enough to intervene, should anything happen.
She had a bad feeling in her stomach, what if the Queen accepted the proposal? She wouldn‘t come to live here, would she? No, she would never abandon her own kingdom, she loved it‘s people too much for that. Vi was sure of it. But still, seeing Queen Caitlyn get married to some second best King who didn‘t even love her enough hurt. Especially when she was right here. Just one word and Vi would do anything for Cait. The thought alone scared her a little, but she trusted her with every fiber of her being.
At 8pm dinner was served. Vi was ready to take the usual spot with the other soldiers, Cait insisted she ate with them. This took her off-guard. Her brain whirled as she fought an inner battle against social norms and, well, common sense. As if she belonged at the same table as royalty.
Cait ignored the King's sceptical gaze, though the princess found this situation rather amusing.
Cait‘s firm expression was like a command and left no room for arguments, and Vi found herself obeying. No one dared to backtalk as Vi took her seat next to Caitly. It was as if, even here, miles away from her home, Cait still remained in charged of everything.
Throughout dinner the King continued to rave about his kingdom and his riches. Cait pretened to be very interested in all of this, nodding along politly.
But for Violet, the meal was a test of restraint. She was keenly aware of the princess's relentless gaze, the way she was studying her and her Queen made Violet feel like the princess may find out about her secret feelings. But that could never happen.
She picked at her food, her appetite diminished under the weight of the moment and the overwhelming presence of Cait so close. The sound of her voice, the way her hands held her fork... every little detail demanded her attention. Violet shot her side glances; here in the dinning hall with the soft lighning of the candles and the chandelier hanging above, her skin had that glow. Her eyes sparkled with a hint of boredom that was well hidden for anyone else. Violet smiled faintly and looked back to her plate. Cait reached out to her glass and her fingers brushed Vi‘s hand. Her skin heated up at the brief contact and she had to hold back from just taking her hand. She wanted to show the King that he had no right marring her Queen, that she already belonged to her. But she didn‘t. And Violet had no right in doing so. But what was even more excruciating was the proximity. Caitlyn was so close, if Vi would‘ve spread her legs some more, their knees would touch. When did it became appropriate for a guard to sit so close to their Queen? How had Vi earned this place?
Her leg started to bounce, her palms started to sweat; she couldn‘t sit still any longer.
Then she felt it.
Her hand.
Queen Caitlyn had layed her hand on her bouncing leg. No one at the table had seen it but that didn‘t matter. Vi‘s body jolted at the contact, her fork clattering onto her plate with a loud metallic sound. The entire table turned to stare. Her face burned hotter than hellfire as she stood up so abrubtly that her chair almost fell down. She swallowed hard, eyes darting to Queen Caitlyn, there was surprise and a silent excuse in them. Why had she done it?
"...Excuse me," Violet muttered hoarsely before striding out of the room without another word.
The princess smirked into her wineglass while Vi practically fled for air outside in their courtyard garden. She didn‘t hear what the Queen said, she didn‘t hear anything. She just walked and then ran.
An hour or two passed with Vi just pacing around and maybe getting lost in the garden. On her mind was just one thing: the Queen and her hand on her thigh. How did this happen? Why did this happen? And why did Vi react like that?
All questions Vi didn‘t have an answer to. She sat on a stone bench near a fountain. The half moon was shining onto her and the water, making it glimmer like a thousand stars. She heard footsteps approach and then a soft voice.
„Violet“
Said person turned around to the Queen. She hadn't expected her to follow her - let alone seek her out. Vi‘s eyes drank in the sight of her night gown and robe, the moonlight bathing her in silvered light. Caitlyn looked like a vision from one of Vi‘s poems. She swallowed hard, the cool night air blowing through Cait‘s soft locks.
„What are you still doing out here? It's night time." Her voice was causcious as if she was afraid to scare Violet away again. Violet's breath hitched at the gentle tone, her heart fluttering traitorously. She averted her gaze to the gravel under her feet, unable to look at her soft silhouette in the night.
„I could ask you the same, your Majesty" she mumbled, shifting awkwardly. Her hands were itching to fidget, but she clenched them into fists instead.
„I was worried about you." she tells her, „I hadn't meant to scare you off like that earlier. I'm sorry. I was only trying to calm you down."
Vi huffed, the sound almost pained. The way she kept apologizing like she had done something wrong nearly drove her mad. Her head was still a mess from the memory of her touch. „You didn't do anything wrong," she muttered reluctantly, finally bringing herself to look at the Queen again. „...I overreacted."
„No,“ Cait answered and stepped closer. „I shouldn‘t have touched you. I thought it would help you relax.“
Violet's breath caught in her throat, her words struck her like a blow to the gut, and her heart skipped a beat at the notion that Cait wanted to comfort her.
Her gaze softened, the familiar ache in her chest flaring up. „You don't-" she huffed, her hands clenching into fists by her sides. „...You don't need to comfort me. I'm supposed to be the one protecting you."
Cait studied her for a moment, „That might be right but you looked so nervous at the dinner... I couldn't handle seeing you like this."
Vi's shoulders slumped as her gentle words chipped away at her defenses. The Queen‘s concern for her was like a tender knife against her sensitive heart, and she ached to pull her closer even as her right mind urged her to stay away.
Her voice sounded softer than she had intended as she muttered, "...You noticed." She was a trained guard, a warrior, and yet she could see right through her. It was both infuriating and endearing.
„Of course I noticed." Cait said, as if it was obvious. Then a little gentler she added: „You're my best knight. What kind of Queen would I be to not know the one I trust with my life?"
Violet's heart stuttered at the words, her chest suddenly too tight. She swallowed hard, the weight of her trust settling heavily on her shoulders. Caitlyn couldn't just say things like that. Especially not with that tenderhearted tone that made her feel like she was unraveling from the inside.
Her voice came out hoarsely, "I'm just doing my job."
Don't flatter me. Don't make me want to kneel at your feet.
There was a warm smile forming on the Queen‘s lips. „Even if so, it means a lot to me that you sacrifice so much for me. That is why I asked you to acompany me as a guard rather than a knight; I feel safe with you."
Violet's throat went dry, her words wrapping around her like a vice. The way she was praising her, thanking her for her service was like a drug to her love-starved heart. She clenched her jaw, swallowing the feelings that threatend to spill out of her. Vi fell to one knee, looking down.
„My Queen..." she whispered, unable to believe all that.
What would happen if she saw just how broken and unworthy of her admiration she was?
Caitlyn was surprised by her reaction. „You've proven to me many times that you are worthy." Hesitantly she reached out to cup Vi‘s cheek and tilted her head up. Their eyes met and suddenly it was as if their hearts beated in the same rythym.
It took every ounce of self-control for Vi to not press into the touch like she was starved for affection. Her heart hammered in her chest; the unwavering faith from her Queen was a heady, dizzying drug, and she was an addict ready to overdose.
Caitlyn‘s thumb brushed over her cheek. And then she did something she had never done for anyone before; the Queen got down on her knees. Vi‘s eyes widened at the sight. They were now eye-level and Vi could see every bit of her face so close. She couldn‘t force herself to look away, couldn‘t bring her lips to close as they slightly parted.
„My Queen...“ she breathed out, „What are you doing?“
„Please," she whispered, „Will you forgive me for I have done you wrong?"
Vi was stunned speechless, her heart a tangled mess of emotions. This was wrong, all wrong - the Queen was strong and regal and untouchable, and not supposed to be kneeling before her like a supplicant. Her pleading eyes, her hand still cradling her cheek, it was impossible for Vi to say anything else than: „You... You don't have anything to apologize for."
„Thank you." The Queen smiled softly and her thumb stroked over her cheek again like she didn't want to let go. „Let's go inside, okay? We should sleep."
Vi could hardly think straight, her heartbeat an erratic drum in her ears. She slowly gave a terse nod. „Alright," she muttered, her voice raspier than usual, „Let's go." She stood on shaking legs and offered a hand to Cait.
The shadows from torches on the walls danced across their face as they walked. This proximity was a special kind of hell to Vi; so close but so far out of reach. They stopped infront of Caitlyn‘s chambers for the night.
„The guards informed me that you can sleep in the next room." Vi nods and looks at the the other door, a few steps away.
„Good night, Violet.“ the Queen smiled.
„Good night, my Queen.“ Vi replied quietly.
Vi wanted to pull her into a hug, to never let her go and just breathe her in. Instead, she exhaled shakily and forced herself to walk to the next room.
She spent a long, agonizing night, plagued by dreams of Cait and what could never be.
The next day Queen Caitlyn and King Edmund went into the throne room alone and discussed the proposal.
Violet had sought solace in the tranquility of the courtyard garden, a rare moment of peace in her tumultuous thoughts. But her solitude was shattered when she heard the rustle of fabric and turned to see the princess standing there. Her shoulders tensed, every muscle taut like a spring ready to snap. She hadn't exactly been kind the night before, and she expected a cold look or maybe even some biting words from the princess. Instead, the princess smiled knowingly.
„I hope your feeling better than last night. Your Queen had informed us about your motion sickness."
Vi's jaw tightened. She should've known that the Queen would come up with an excuse for her behavior. She hated the lie - she didn't get motion sickness. But she couldn‘t say that, couldn‘t let her feelings get the better of her. So she just smiled politley and nodded.
„I'm fine, nothing to worry about."
„Of course, I'm glad." the princess said, unable to keep a knowing smirk out from her face.
„So...“ she started and walked closer to Vi. „You're the queens guard?"
Vi straightend up. „Yes I am. What about it?“
The princess shruged. „Oh nothing. I‘ve just noticed how awfully close you are." She glances at Vi, observing her reaction. „Though I might advise you to try and not make it too obvious."
Violet‘s fingers clenched and unclenched at her sides, a desperate attempt to keep her emotions in check. „I'm just doing my duty." she said, trying to sound indifferent and not let on how flustered she was by the princess‘s observation. „There's nothing more to it."
The princess grinned a little longer at Violet before she accepted her answer. „Well, then. I came here for something else.“ The smile on her face faded and her expresion turned serious. Vi‘s senses turned aleart. That didn‘t sound good.
„There is something you should know..." she continued.
„I am about to become Queen." she said, holding her head high. „But my father can't bear not ruling a kingdom, so he tries to marry another Queen." she pauses for dramatic effect. „Your Queen."
As the words sank in, Vi‘s blood ran cold. So the King did have a greater motivation after all. She had a bad feeling about him all along. Of course just marrying a lovely Queen wasn‘t enough, he wanted a kingdom.
„If your Queen is any smart, she won't marry him. But I had to tell someone." The princess pauses again, „Don't be too heartbroken if she does marry him." Vi nodded as if paralyzed. The worst part was, she couldn‘t just walk intho the throne room and tell Caitlyn everything - warn her - she had to wait it out. She had to trust her.
Would she really marry the King? Even if it was just for riches? Did all these small moments together mean nothing to her?
It was a test of patience and trust for Vi.
Then it was time.
It was lunch time when the large doors of the throne room opened. Vi, the princess and a few servants stood in the hall and waited for the decision.
It hadn‘t been Vi‘s intention to stare at the King with such dislike in her eyes. But when her Queen cleared her throat, she snapped out of it. Then Caitlyn spoke up.
„The King and I decided against a union of our kingdoms through marriage. We came to the conclusion that it would be better if we keep in touch through trading." she pauses and Vi exhales reliefed. Her gaze found Cait‘s and for a moment she felt like grinning, almost wanting to let her guard down to thank her. But she swallowed the impulse, keeping her expression impassive.
„However, I should congratulate the princess for becoming Queen very soon." Cait stepped forward. „Your father told me more about you. I'm sure you'll be a great Queen and if you need help, my kingdom and I stand right beside you."
The princess's eyes widened in surprise at these words, clearly not expecting the kind response. Still, she managed a small nod. "Thank you," she replied.
The king, on the other hand, looked displeased by this decision. He couldn‘t wait to get both women to leave his kingdom again. Cait remained polite and smiled friendly at their departure.
Back in the carriage Vi had so much she wanted to say. She wanted to tell her how much her decision to reject the king's proposal meant to her. How much the Queen meant to her. But the words stuck in her throat, silenced by her knowing better than to cross any lines.
„You're awfully quiet, Violet." Cait broke the silence. „There must be a lot on your mind."
„Yeah," she smiled coy, her voice raspy. „You could say that."
Cait smiled amused, „Did you believe I would marry the King?“
Her voice was terse when she finally spoke and she forced a smile. "No," Her gaze found hers. "I knew you wouldn't. You're too smart for that."
Cait narrowed her eyes, amused, then she turned to look out the window. „Smart answer."
Vi huffed out a laugh. She knew she could see right through her, the way she was trying (and failing) to play it cool.
Her fingers tapped impatiently against her thigh before she finally admitted: „...I might've considered it for half a second."
Cait glanced back at her. „Don't panic. I have too." she admitted. „But then I remebered that this kingdom doesn't need a man to lead them on. I am here and I will do my best to protect my people."
Vi took a deep breath, her words both a relief to her racing mind. She fidgeted with her hands, trying to keep her cool despite the whirlwind of emotions inside her chest, her eyes softening just a little.
„You're strong. You're more than capable. Your people are lucky to have you."
Cait smiled softly, touched by her words. „Thank you, your words mean a lot to me."
Violet‘s heart skipped a beat and only started racing faster as Caitlyn reach out and touched her hands. Their eyes met and it seemed like the world stood still. Nothing mattered anymore, there were only Vi and Cait and this small secret connection that had somehow sparked between them.
Caitlyn leaned in. „Who do you write these poems about?“ she whispered. Vi blushed, her gaze darting to Caitlyn‘s lips for a moment. They were so close, it was nearly driving her mad. But what was even more nerve-wrecking, was the hopefulness that resonated with her question. It was as if Cait already knew the answer. Still, Vi hesitated to lay her feelings bare before her, to make her vulnerable. In her mind she knew better than to open her heart like this, but her soul, her very being longed to get this heavy feeling off her chest. To finally tell the truth and take a risk.
„You, my Queen.“ Vi whispered with undenieable longing in her voice.
There was no surprise in Cait‘s eyes, just warmth and a hint of relief. Slowly, she leaned closer and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to Vi‘s lips.
The kis was short and Vi exhaled in disbelief. „My Queen?“ Cait needed time to find an answer, as if all this was just as hard for her as it was for Vi.
„What have I done to deserve your love?“
Vi couldn‘t believe the question and she almost laughed at it. Instead she whispered, „You don‘t have to do anything. The light you bring into my life is enough for me. It‘s me who doesn‘t deserve you.“
Cait smiled and cupped her cheek, this time Vi leaned into it. Cait‘s eyes wandered over every single feature of Vi‘s face and made her melt at the spot.
„Oh, Vi... you deserve far more than just my love.“
Vi‘s hand came up to Cait‘s neck and pulled her closer to kiss her again. This time a thousand fireworks exploded in Vi‘s stomach. She poured all her longing into the kiss and Cait returned it with just as much love. A warmth spread in Cait‘s chest that she hadn't felt for a long time.
The kiss broke with both women needing air.
„You mean so much to me." Cait whispered, „Far more than a knight or a guard... I would have never married the king."
There were no words left that Vi could have said, so she just leaned her forehead against hers and closet her eyes. A reliefed, breathy chuckle escaped her. This moment felt like a dream, but with the carriage rolling over the bumpy road and making this sweet moment far less dreamy, she knew that it was real.
She was real.
And that was all that mattered.