Chapter Text
Fluixon was never supposed to love.
Even when he was running away from everything he ever knew, Fluixon understood his place in the world. A disgraced prince and runaway, someone who should've hid in the shadows never to be seen again.
And then, something changed.
He was saved by two desert dwellers, ones that he would come to know well. They picked him up when he fell, fed him, clothed him, gave him a place to stay and a family to care for. Jophiel was all grace and comfort, a woman who had no wants for herself but dedicated everything to helping other people. Saparata was a trailblazer, a selfless man who dreamed of peace in the barren wasteland of the desert.
And together, they built a new nation out of that hope.
Theria, named after the freedom that Saparata sought after.
He... wasn't the best leader but they made do, all three of them did. Jophiel as the charismatic vice-president and Fluixon served as the one operating in the shadows. The role suited him well, although it reminded him too much of a home that he didn't have anymore. And slowly, the fledgling nation grew into one that could stand on its own.
Perhaps, that was when Fluixon had made his fatal mistake.
By letting them in too close, he had grown complacent. He forgot his place, forgot how he had been a dishonored prince of Aculon. They had taken him in and given him a purpose, it was supposed to be straight-forward, without any feelings in the way.
But just like Icarus, he flew too close to the sun and faced the consequences.
Fluixon had fallen in love with his own liege.
And oh, how it stung.
Saparata was too good for someone like him, didn't deserve to be burdened by his emotions. So, what was there to do except to keep the feelings buried where it would hopefully perish, just as he should've all those years ago?
But like the other things he kept hidden beneath his shadowed helmet, it only got worse. As time passed, the ache in his chest grew sharper, a little harder to hide whenever obsidian eyes turned their gaze towards him. The years changed them as well, pushed them farther away than ever before. Saparata often joked that distance made the heart fonder but he never knew the burden he created just by being out of reach.
Really, he should've been happy about the news.
"We're engaged!" The shout of surprise that came out of Jophiel was the exact same as how Fluixon felt, standing frozen as he accidentally stumbled upon the two's exchange. The Therian leader was a busy man and he had never had any plans for marriage or settling down before, why now?
"...Really?! What did he say?" It seems that Jophiel was already acquainted with this mystery fiancé, beaming with similar excitement.
Fluixon felt like he was interrupting the moment and stepped away from the threshold before they could find out he was eavesdropping on their private conversation. They were always close in a way that he couldn't be, he had always chalked it up to them being siblings.
But why keep him in the dark about this?
Saparata's voice came through anyway, "It happened suddenly, he didn't really say much but... you know how he is."
No, he didn't know.
She only chuckled airily, "I can only imagine how you reacted."
"I think I stared straight at him for a good few seconds before realizing he was serious." The red spreading across his skin, shocked expression hidden slightly by white hair, Fluixon could picture it in his mind. "And then he just kept rattling about construction plans and documents again as if nothing happened."
Out of the few lines that he just heard about the man, he can already tell he was the most boring person in all the four islands. Who the hell goes back to work immediately after proposing to someone?!
Jophiel sighed, the sound a small, fond thing. It made his heart throb slightly, how long has this been going on? "Typical, he never changed."
Quietly, Fluixon stalked away from the room before they could notice him.
As he walked through the garden, he couldn't help but replay the conversation again and again in his mind. This was embarrassing, the second-in-command had made peace with the fact that he could never be with Saparata a long time ago. An engagement, no matter how sudden, shouldn't have affected him this much.
But he felt more than a little betrayed by Jophiel.
She had known, knew about his little problem. So, why keep this entire thing to herself?
His heart thundered in his chest, relentless.
"What the hell is happening..." Fluixon muttered mostly to himself, berating himself for not keeping his distance and being led on by his own delusions for so long. His father's voice echoed in his ears, a steady presence with the backdrop of the earlier conversation still embedded in his mind.
Another one of his lessons, forever etched into him.
"You see this, Fluixon?" The bloodied tip of his sword pointed at the dead animal, a passive expression on his face. His eyes were sharp, always watching and piercing through his son's meager defences, as if he could see his very soul. "This is what happens when you get feelings and duty mixed."
"B–but I wasn't doing anything!" He didn't dare stare at the dog for any longer than Elanuelo had willed it but he could feel tears starting to well up anyway.
"Something that cares more about fooling around than its responsibilities aren't worth the effort."
"Trouble in paradise?" He didn't even notice someone had come up to him until they tapped on the side of his helmet, Rotation's voice finally turning clear. The guard tilted his head slightly when he didn't respond, a quirk that always reminded him of a confused puppy. "You don't look too well."
Technically, the two were 'friends', although the second-in-command didn't hold his breath on it. Other than the ones who were like a second family to him, could he call anyone else his friends?
"Yes..." He said shortly, unsure of what to add to that.
"Couldn't have guessed from your sour face." The man moved in front of him, letting Fluixon see the slight amusement and concern in his expression.
A beat of hesitation passed, where he battled with his own brain to try to figure out what to say next. His hand idly pressed to the side of his mouth, metal gauntlet cold against the ridges of scar tissue there. It was the cruel reminder that he needed, an old pain he could never forget.
Be useful or be discarded.
Another one of his lessons whispered into the wind, never to be heard by anyone else. Fluixon was here because he was worth something, not because they cared. Wishful thinking such as that was what got him thrown away in the first place.
"It's a bit complicated." He said softly, tracing the edges where the skin was stretched thin.
The other man gave him a grin and a wink, one that he was sure was going to be followed by something ridiculous. "Nothing that a little drink can't fix!"
A waterskin was pressed into his free hand, the thick sound of sloshing making it apparent that it was not in fact filled with water. Fluixon stared at him blankly for a few moments before hesitantly taking it, the container somehow feeling much heavier in his hands. The black-haired man was not a drinker by any stretch of the imagination but...
"Drinking on the job? I could fire you for that." He took a sip anyway, relishing in the burn that went down his throat. It had a hint of sweetness, one that he hummed in approval for. Say what he will about Rotation but the man knew how to get someone to lower their guard around him.
An arm pulled Fluixon into a side hug, making him stiffen slightly. "I trust you to not rat me out, dude."
Does he deserve that trust?
He hoped he did.
"You look like you needed something to distract you anyway." His smile was blinding, a bright sun in comparison to Fluixon's darkness. He tried not to think about how it reminded him of Saparata's own brightness, a blanket of safety that never failed to comfort him. "Ah, see. Sad Flux again."
For Ish's sake, he was just thinking of how he wanted to be trusted. He chugged a couple more mouthfuls of the alcohol, hoping that the other didn't notice his annoyed gaze.
"What do you say we go and buy some drinks after my shift?" Rotation squeezed him a little before letting go and resting his hands behind his own head. When Fluixon gave him a curious look, he added, "My treat!"
"...Fine." Perhaps, it'll help get his mind off of this whole ordeal.
Saparata was just walking down the halls when he spotted the two, one slumped over the other.
"Flux, you drank way too much, man!" Rotation's naturally loud voice bounced against the pillars and walls, interrupting the silence of the night. His footsteps were similarly heavy, carrying Fluixon's slouched form. "You sure showed them whose boss though."
"They.. were being assholes..." His voice was slurred, unmuffled by his helmet for once. For someone who often claimed that he was too busy for certain pleasures, he sure knew how to have fun.
The other looked to his side, a twinge of worry in his next statement. "Still..."
"What's going on here?" Saparata called out to them, holding a single candle on his person. The shocked and embarrassed look that Rotation gave him would've made him chuckle, had it not been interrupted with a groan from Fluixon. "...So that's where he's been."
"Sorry, sir. Flux had uh, a little too much to drink tonight."
In the darkness, he could barely make them out but it was clear that his fiancé was out of commission. And what a rare sight that was, the man was usually very reserved, even around Saparata and Jophiel who had seen him during his most embarrassing moments. Secretly, he was glad that Fluixon could let loose a little around other people.
"I can tell." The leader huffed out a short laugh, putting the candle holder on an unattended table and making his way over. "I'll take him off your hands then."
"Eh?" This time, his expression was a little bashful as he gathered the nearly unconscious man in his arms. But Rotation did as told, passing him to Saparata along with his helmet. "Are you sure? It's kinda my fault for dragging him out."
"It's alright, I'll take him to his room." The moment that he let Fluixon rest against him, he had clung to him so tightly that it seemed impossible to get out of his embrace anyway. Rotation looked a little curious at their closeness but didn't press, just quietly observing. "You should probably head home as well."
"Yes, sir. I'll see you in the morning." He grinned before waving goodbye and leaving the two alone.
Once his footsteps were out of earshot, Saparata started to carry him back to his room. With his drunkenness, he knew the other would probably appreciate being able to stay in bed for the day. He mentally noted to tell Jophiel to give Fluixon the day off in the morning.
An urgent tug on his clothes had him looking towards the man on his side.
"Sapsss..." Fluixon slurred out his name, eyes somewhat unfocused as he stared at him. The flush on his face turned impossibly darker, redness blooming against his pale skin. "...I lovee... you."
"Love you too." He patted the arm around his shoulder, hoping that would appease him.
"Don't– don't marry someone else, pleaseee...?" Fluixon looked at him with those beautiful purple eyes, desperation plainly stated in them as he pleaded. His breath was still tinged with the smell of alcohol, making him wrinkle his nose. "I don't wanna.. I love you so fucking much..."
Saparata snorted, trying to stifle his laughter. It was cute how clueless the other was when inebriated, to the point he forgot that he was the one who proposed to him. "You're drunk."
"Say it..! Say you won't– won't marry anyone else..." And Ish, he sounded so serious about it too. "I'm gonna die if you dooo... And you–" His breath hitched, "You don't want me to die, right..?"
Saparata finally broke, laughing against his black hair. It was so incredibly soft, smelling faintly of the flowery shampoo that the other liked. "I won't, I'm getting married to you, idiot."
"...Really?" The question came after a few long moments, when they finally reached the doorway to Fluixon's room. He hummed in ascent while helping the man in question take off his boots and armor, putting it in the corner for him to deal with later. It took a longer time than the ruler wanted but the things he did to make sure Fluixon was comfortable, right?
"Now, let's get you to bed." Saparata tried to pry him off but was met with resistance and a hand gripping onto his robe.
"Nooo..." The weak sound of protest contrasted how tightly the dark-haired man was holding on, giving him no leverage to work with. "Stay with me..."
"Flux, let me go..." Was he pouting at him?
"No!" Fluixon's hand fisted the front of his clothes, dragging him instead of the other way around. And before Saparata knew it, his knees hit the edge of the bed and they tumbled onto it together.
The other was on his side in an instant, pulling him closer and letting out a content sigh.
A bit of hesitation still nagged at his tired mind, they were going a little too fast. Before Fluixon made his feelings clear, they weren't anything to each other. And the reclusive man was always the more aloof of the two. But the warm body pressed to his side made it hard to resist the sleep tugging at him, promising rest and comfort.
"Fine," Saparata ruffled the top of his head, letting him sink closer. "But don't get mad at me in the morning, okay?"
There was a faint noise of agreement before Fluixon's breaths started to even out, amethyst eyes peering at him for one last time before sleep took him. Saparata stayed like that for a bit, just staring at his fiancé, watching as a peaceful expression smoothed out his face. The man looked younger like this, more similar to the half-dead boy who he and Jophiel had dragged out of the sands.
His fingers grazed against his scar before thinking better of it and pulling away.
Sometimes he wished that he could read Fluixon's mind, if only to understand the way he thought. To understand why his heart was so guarded. To understand who had scarred him, a boy who didn't do anything.
"We'll figure it out together..." The promise was whispered softly, only known to one of them.