Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You slowly walked through the blacksite halls, letting out an occasional breath that you wouldn't even realise were holding in. Encountering the stupid firewall was never easy for you. 

You would always make it out nearly dead, the blood sticking to your jetsuit, making it even more painful to remove or even just wear. You could both see and feel the opened wounds under the suit, strings of muscle blood sticking to the inside sometimes if you were unlucky, pressing exactly at or even in the deep cut. 

As many times as you went through it, the pain would get even worse and worse, the fear growing like a blooming flower deep in your chest, reaching and touching even the most vulnerable and sensitive spots. 

Yes, you would get a medkit right after the event, but sometimes it was bad to the point where even the medkit wouldn't do anything to help your case. 

At some point, from so many encounters, you noticed a big burn mark on your back from one of the times you got forced back into the firewall after not sliding quickly enough. 

Most scars would go, but some would stay. And some were not your proudest.

The feeling after surviving the firewall was never pleasant. Most of the time, you would be face to face with pandemonim, fighting for your dear life in a locker right after the torture caused by an individual you hated more than an outraged eyefestation. 

Double trouble they say, but they've never had these ganging up on them.

This time tho, it was surprisingly..quiet. And calm. No angler, no nothing. Pure silence. Just you and the sharp pain all over your body. 

As you continued walking, making sure to pick every piece of research you could find, you came across a kind of..dreaded door.

"Hey! Over here!"

Already? You could swear it hasn't been even 2 minutes since you were forced up those stairs, reaching for the medkit as if it was the only thing keeping you alive. 

With all your strength combined, you crawled through the vent before plopping yourself on the surprisingly nicely cold floor. 

The only lightsource in the room came to life before you heard a disapproving huff.

"Bleeding out on MY floor is really rude, bub."

You didn't even bother to look at him. Everything that attacked you today had you clenching either a locker's doors closed or your head, your heart feeling as if it was being squeezed each time you would see or hear the entities, and now you were forced to come face to face with this asshole. 

As if sensing your internal struggle, Sebastian stayed quiet. He clearly didn't have the patience for this, but you sure were a good customer when it came to exchanging the research you found. 

Surprisingly, it almost never disappointed him. Not just that but you never really even tried to steal like most expandables would, you kept your hands to yourself, minded his personal space and not once trying to piss him off on purpose.. almost.

You mumbled quietly, keeping your voice low.

“Do you have a Perithesene..? Research is in my bag, around 2000.."

He looked at you suspiciously, considering his choices. As silence followed, you thought he would act like a pissed off teenager again, until you heard him moving, followed by the feeling of him taking the heavy backpack you had on your shoulders.

The only reason why you had it is because urbanshade never really provides anything where you could keep your research other than the small pockets on your suit, so to improvise you would hide the backpack behind your diving gear, keeping it tucked so you could take it with you without the guards noticing.

“Well, you're in luck because I have just what you need. Glad to provide my services~"

Of course he was being a sassy bastard once again. That sarcastic tone would have you ripping your hair if you weren't so tired.

You reached out your hand, turning so you were laying on your back, finally facing your fishy... definitely not friend. He didn't even like you. Fishy.. whatever. 

He started down at you, placing the Perithesene in your hand. You closed your eyes for a moment before opening them again and reaching down to inject the containment in your thigh. 

Right before the sharp needle pierced your skin, Sebastian snatched the Perithesene from your hand. Shocked and offended, you looked at him just to be met with an almost equally pissed expression.

"The fuck do you think youre doing? You're supposed to inject that in your vein, peabrain. Or just..near it for an accurate effect.”

You stared at him for a good while, the gears turning in your head. You were supposed to what now? This whole time you would just.. force the injection in your thigh like those epipens you would sometimes see your friend use when having an allergic reaction. Guess you should've thought about the fact that it indeed is not the same thing. 

As if to bring you back to reality, you felt a sudden sharp pain for a millisecond before looking at your arm. Your beloved fishman quickly injected you with the liquid in the injection before taking the small needle out and pressing down on the spot where it pierced your skin. 

You whined quietly, clearly not enjoying the feeling before he shushed you.

"Youre not a baby, stop acting like that hurt. You've been through worse."

Looking up at him once again, you didn't fail to notice the frown on his face, the fins on the sides of his head fluttering and raised. 

You could clearly tell he was annoyed. If anything, you could say you've gotten pretty good at recognising his mood by his body language. 

To you, he was an opened book, willing to let itself be read over and over again as it slowly became your favorite with time. You would always say you hate him, but that was never really the case. You did not like his personality, his look, you did not like anything about him, but that does keep on changing with time. 

You couldn't change or rewrite what was written in this book, but you could certainly change the way you see or understand it. 

Just as you started zoning out for lord knows how long and for which time already, Sebastian let go of your hand before turning around and grabbing a medkit off his tail. Wow he had both a Perithesene and a medkit. 

He leaned back down, inspecting your injuries before opening the small compared to his hands kit and preparing the containments for use.

You slowly felt yourself getting better, most of the tense muscles relaxing in a way you never imagined could be caused by a small injection. 

Finally, you pushed yourself up from the floor, sitting instead. Surprisingly, your back wasn't affected by all of this or you were just in too much pain to even notice. 

As you turned to the Saboteur, trying to take the medkit from his hands, he suddenly raised it high in the air, making sure it was out of your reach. 

That action clearly forced a slowly burning anger to rise in your chest, spreading like a virus and painting a frown on your face. 

Sebastian simply smirked before flashing you his signature toothy smile, the sharp rows shining, reflecting the light coming from his esca.

"Stop it, you look ugly when you're frowning."

You looked at him, pissed. Well he did have the audacity and it was somehow surprisingly pretty damn attractive to see him actually care enough to help you. 

You've seen this multiple times-

He'd look at an injured expandable begging him to help them. But he never did. He wasn't there to help them. He himself was trying his best to survive in this hellhole. 

Everything in here was trying to survive. All sharing a mutual curse, faith looking at them from the wrong side. Nobody wanted or asked for this to happen. 

Life can be like a thread sometimes: it's long, but as you keep on pulling it you never know if you would accidentally rip it. 

Although that does not mean that a person could not keep on pulling it till its end, even if ripped from time to time.

"I thought expendables are taught how to use the equipment in here... guess not."

You sighed, trying to stand up fully to try and grab the medkit from his hand until you were pushed down with more force than necessary. 

You cried out, your back hitting the concrete floor hard, forcing your eyes to shut out of pain.

“Don’t move, idiot. Not only do you suck at taking care of yourself, but you're also stubborn as shit."

He lowered the medkit back down, taking out the earlier prepared containments. 

Leaning down ones again, he inspected your expression before moving to the burns and wounds visible on your arms and legs even through your suit. 

As he met your gaze, you took a closer look at his eyes. Even though they didn't have pupils, you could somehow tell where he was looking. 

They were like a clear ocean on a cloudless sunny day, reflecting the beautiful bright sky, inviting you to swim in them with a promise of drowning in the beauty.

"Done staring?"

A frown was visible on his face, his fins lowering before he started working on your burns. 

He was.. surprisingly gentle and considerate with his strength depending on what he was doing. 

Of course tho, a question hangs in your head like a fly in your room that you simply cannot ignore.

"Why?"

Why? He didn't know why. He was in a good mood just this ones. Was it really that surprising for him to actually behave nicely? To not be seen or act like a monster? 

You felt the tension raise in the air, making you regret asking it out loud.

"Sorry, i didnt mean-"

"You suck at treating yourself. Heck, you seem to take better care of your stupid suit rather than your own self."

Your lips thinned, considering what he said. Honestly, he wasn't even wrong about that. 

Whenever you would try to patch yourself up, it was almost always bad. From failure to disinfect the wounds properly to not being able to tighten the bandages like you wanted to. 

And you really couldn't decline his help now. 

You sat quietly, watching him skillfully work. The only occasional sounds would be either you letting out a whine from a sudden sting, followed by a huff, sigh or a groan from the male. 

He would slightly nudge you whenever he got to another burn, asking for permission to access the skin under your suit. 

From the right arm to the left, from the left leg to the right. He was working on them as if he knew exactly what he was doing. 

His touch was gentle, calculated, considered, leaving you feeling a strange sensation deep on your chest. 

After who knows how long, he was finally done and holy shit you gotta give it to him. From so many times bandaging up his third arm, you weren't surprised that he was good at this. 

You still felt his touch lingering, like a ghost caressing your skin, the claws scratching your skin by accident occasionally. 

He stood up, stretching as he tried his best to not hit his head somewhere before looking down at you with an unreadable look. 

You started back, blinking at him slowly.

“Just get out already."

The impatience in his voice was as clear as the blacksite halls after another death. 

You gulped, looking down, fear overtaking the pain in your eyes. 

Sure, you were alright, all bandaged up and ready to die to something stupid again, but you couldn't help but hope that he would let you stay more, even if just for a bit. 

You looked up, staring at him, hoping he would understand. That he would care. That he would let you stay for as long as you wanted and needed. 

You knew by now that to survive in here you had to depend on him. And you did a little too much. 

He was the one to show you the document on the entity that caused another stupid death of yours. He was the one to make fun of you for that. He was the one who you despised for that. He was the one selling you stuff, useful but at a price. He was the one who helped you get further and further with time, but then make fun of your failure. He was the one that you hated because of that sass in his voice, each word spat out like venom, meant to get under your skin and tear you apart mentally. 

But he is the one you became so dependent on, the one you hope to see every run, the one you would die for. And he knew that. 

But you were nothing like that to him.

"'Love, love' shut up, say it one more time."

Chapter Text

Okay so I lost half of the stuff i wrote for the second chapter(・・;) i dunno if i mentioned it but i write the stuff on my notebook first before writing them on my phone and posting sooo i got in an argument with a friend in school and he took the notebook and ripped out the pages and js ripped them in pieces and said its not even that big of a deal cuz its just pages or smth(。･´д`･。) its okay gng i keep like half of it so tonight i will hopefully rewrite what i already had wrote and maybe even finish the second chapter!!(^3^)/ thank you for your patience!!(o´・∀・)o on a side note hes a fucking asshole,  i might draw him pregnant