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Dean launches the ball across the park and watches as it flies a fair distance, enough for Miracle to high tail after it with several excited barks. Dean grins as he jumps for it and catches it in his mouth before running back. The sight of Miracle running through the grass back to him reminds him that everything has been worth it. The endless appointments at the hospital after his incident, the lawyers and the payout that at least meant he wasn't drowning in medical debt for the rest of his life. Because now, at least, he has a rest of his life to live. Then there's Cas, who has stuck with him through thick and thin. He means the most to Dean.
Miracle sits in front of Dean without being asked, panting around the ball still wedged in his mouth. He whines once, wanting Dean to get on with playing with him, and Dean obliges. The ball is wet and Dean turns his nose up before throwing it again. Miracle has enough energy to do this all day. Dean, not so much.
On the next throw, Dean's back twinges. He stills. Someone in the playground behind him shouts. Panic flares up inside him as the argument that led to the incident echoes in his mind. He swallows hard, tries to control his breathing but it's coming fast and he's forgotten how to stop it. He tries to flex his left hand but it doesn't want to move. It doesn't want to move! Dean knows it's not real, he knows he's okay but some part of him is still locked in on that day at the garage.
A cold nose nudges his leg, once then twice more and more insistent. Miracle is whining at him. Dean's vision starts to close in at the edges and part of him realises that maybe he should sit down before he falls over. Using Miracle as a support, Dean sits down heavily in the grass.
“Dean?” Cas’ voice is behind him somewhere, but Dean closes his eyes to it.
Dean lies back on the grass and he feels the familiar weight of Miracle resting on top of him. He slides his fingers into his fur, long and silky from a recent groom. As Dean strokes down Miracle's back, he takes a deep breath in, feeling it shudder in his throat the first few times before it evens out.
“Dean?” Cas’ voice is closer.
Dean keeps breathing and eventually feels a hand resting on his shoulder. He opens his eyes to his partner.
“Hey,” Dean says, a little breathless. “I'm okay.”
“What happened?”
“Um, back twinged and then brain just kinda went nope. Here I am.” Dean doesn't want to rehash all the memories that came back, not here in the park. He'd quite like to forget his panic attack all together but Dean knows he needs to talk about it and Cas does too.
Cas reaches out and strokes Miracle between his ears. “Good boy, Miracle,” he coos. “Do you want to get up?” Cas asks Dean.
Dean shakes his head. Maybe he should be ready, and he would rather be laying on their picnic blanket but there's still that part of his brain telling him that his arm is paralysed again.
“Get down here,” Dean says. He focuses his gaze on the blue sky above him, peppered with huge white clouds. The sun is warm on his face and he cherishes that feeling for a moment. “The clouds look like dragons.”
Cas lies next to him on his left side and Dean feels warm fingers find his own. For a moment Dean's breath catches but then he squeezes Cas’ hand hard and air fills his lungs with relief. Slowly, Dean stays holding Cas’ hand loosely knowing that he is okay. All the hard work and rehabilitation he's been doing for the past year and a half is still working.
“Better?” Cas asks quietly.
“Yeah,” Dean says in return. “Maybe that one's a dog? There's kinda a head and a tail.” Miracle perks his head up for a moment before resting it back down on Dean's chest.
“That one looks like an angel,” Cas says, raising his free hand to point upwards.
Dean scans the sky trying to see what Cas sees and there it is, a cloud that looks like a pair of wings. He smiles then looks at Castiel. “That one looks like an angel too.”
Cas peers back at him and his face softens beautifully before he smiles, cheeks flushing. “Dean…”
“What? Call me a romantic. Or maybe don't, or do but don't tell Sam.” Dean laughs and it feels freeing.
He knows he's going to be exhausted when they get home but for now at least they can watch the clouds roll gently by before returning to their picnic blanket.
They nibble on a few more crackers before packing up. Dean sneaks Miracle a slice of cheese despite Cas’ trying look. “He deserves it.”
“I know.”
Cas folds up the blanket, handing it to Dean to carry back to the car as he picks up the backpack with the food in. Miracle dutifully pads along next to Dean, happy without his leash to jump into the back seat and sit like a good boy.
Dean is truly grateful for both of his boys today. These kinda of days are thankfully getting fewer and further between but when they do come about, Cas and Miracle always have his back.
