Work Text:
“Hey. Moony, wake up. Wake up, Moony
“Go to bed, Paddfoot.”
“The sky looks pretty though”
It's been a week since the beginning of the first semester for the marauders who started their fourth year of college. Remus, Sirius, and James had moved into an apartment together during the beginning of the summer- Peter not joining them due to the fact that his relationship with Annabelle, his girlfriend, was going quite well and moved in with her instead.
Currently it's 4:34 am and Sirius, who has barely slept all night, is trying to get Remus out of bed to stargaze with him. He also might have finally gained the courage in the middle of the night to confess to a certain someone.It was also rare that the sky looked so beautiful and clear due to the city's light pollution.
“Yeah, it does but, it's also what? 4 am? Let. me. sleep." Remus pushes his face into his pillow, his voice coming out muffled.
Sirius pouts. “I want to look at it with you though.”
Remus just sighed. “Fine.” he grumbles as he sits up, his hair all ruffled and eyes tired.
Sirius grins and gets up, “Brillient!”.
He then pulls one of Remus' jumpers over his head and grabs a pack of cigs, his phone and headphones. “Come on, let's go to the roof.”
Remus mutters something about being too tired for this but grabs his jacket anyways. Sirius led them up to the roof. Once they were finally up and sitting on the concrete, Sirius grabbed his headphones, untangled them, and handed one to Remus, putting the other one in himself. This was muscle memory by now going up the roof gazing up at the sky while listening to music together. It was one of Sirius's favorite things to do with Remus, or just in general.
“So what are we listening to, some sappy love songs from the 70s? I bet we are, knowing you.” Remus teases him as he puts it in.
“Shut up, you love my sappy music. But um..I uh made a playlist for you actually…" Sirius replied nervously, twisting one of the rings on his finger, an anxious habit. He glanced at Remus before lighting a cigarette and taking a drag. Remus watched him before replying.
“Wait, you made me a playlist? Are you serious?”
“I’m always serious."
“Fuck off, you know what I mean.”
Sirius laughs “Well I did. I've actually made you a few just….never really got around to showing you them.”
“Oh….." Remus looked away and lit his own cigarette. “That's…sweet of you.” Remus mumbled more to himself than to Sirius. To which Sirius snorted. Then the first song of the playlist, space song by beach house, started to play.
“Look at the moon.” Sirius pointed to the sky and Remus looked up.
“It's beautiful.” Remus remarked as he took a drag from his cigarette.
“Yeah,” Sirius glanced at Remus, taking a drag from his own. “It is, isn't it. The moon always is though,” He shivered and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his arm against them, “Kinda cold.”
“Well yeah, you're wearing shorts.” Remus paused. “Come closer.” He shifted and opened his jacket in an invitation for Sirius. He complied and leaned into Remus who wrapped his arm around the other. Sirius sighed and rested his head on the taller boy's shoulder.
“This song reminds me of you.”
Remus just hummed “Really?...It's a good one.”
They sat there, in comfortable silence. Songs starting and ending, Sirius occasionally humming the tune to a part he likes and Remus tracing patterns across Sirius' shoulder with his fingertips. It was the little things that gave Sirius hope that maybe, just maybe, Remus could like him too. It was the small glances they stole from across the room, the reassuring smiles, the way Remus always laughed at his jokes when it really wasn't that funny, the unnecessary touching, just…them.
Remus thought about Sirius and how he was pressed up against him right now, humming and tapping his foot against Remus’ own foot. This felt different than the other times they sat up here, smoking and talking about whatever, this time they were quiet, mostly, music playing in their ears, Sirius wearing his jumper and…oh..wait was this considered cuddling? Remus’ heartbeat quickened while he glanced at Sirius out of the corner of his eye, did he think this is weird? Should Remus move? Don't think about it, you're making it weird, Sirius is acting normal, so can you. Remus' cigarette was long gone by now.
“Another?” Remus asked.
“Yeah.” Sirius then grabbed the pack and handed it to Remus after grabbing his own. He held the lighter up, cupping one side as the flame flickered and lit his cigarette, the warm glow dusted across his face. Remus stared at him ‘How could he look so beautiful doing something so simple?’ he thought. Then High and dry by radio head started to play.
Two jumps in a week I bet you think that's pretty clever
Don't you, boy
Flying on your motorcycle
Watching all the ground beneath you drop
“Thanks, Paddfoot.” He replied as he grabbed and used the lighter after him. He took a drag and held it, feeling the burn in his lungs before exhaling And a comfortable silence fell over them once again.
You'd kill yourself for recognition
Kill yourself to
Never ever stop
You broke another mirror
You're turning into something you are not
Don't leave me high
Don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high
Don't leave me dry
________________________________________________________________
“Hey Moony?” Sirius' voice came out in almost a whisper, breaking the silence between them.
“You know I love you right?” Sirius was twisting one of his rings again.
Remus stiffened before turning his head and replying. “Y-yeah I know you do. I love you too, Paddfoot.”
Sirius then sat up and turned to face him. “No, I mean like….”
The beginning of Lover, you should've come over started.
Sirius just shakes his head. Remus was confused, Sirius didn't really mean it, or at least not like how Remus meant it. They were just close friends, Sirius has said ‘I love you’ to their other friends before and he definitely didn't want to snog Peter.
“I-….” Sirius started before cutting himself off and turning away. “Never mind, forget it”
Remus looked at him for a second. What if Sirius really did like, no, loved him. What if he really did look at Remus differently and he wasn't imagining it, what if all the time their hands brushed or their legs knocked into each other accidentally weren't actually accidental, what if his wishful thinking didn't have to be wishful, what if his dreams became reality. As he looked back on everything, his worries and doubts started to wash away, that he wasn't good enough, that Sirius would never love him, that no one could love him. Even if Sirius really didn't like him back, he was ready; Sirius deserved to know how he felt, he deserved to know how Remus thought he was the most wonderful person he'd ever met. “Hey Paddfoot?”
“Yeah?” Sirius looked back at him.
"You know I love you right?” Remus said with a smirk, parroting the others' words right back at him.
Too young to hold on
And to old to just break free in run
Sometimes a man gets carried away
When he feels like he should be having his fun
Much too blind to see the damage he's done
“Huh?” This time it was Sirius' turn to be confused. Why is he saying that now? Sirius didn't exactly know what to say, he just wanted to move past his failed attempt at confessing to Remus.
“Well.. I think you're really cool, you're pretty too and you're funny and…. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I think I'm in love with you, Paddfoot." Remus declared with so much confidence that if you told him a week ago -hell, even 10 minutes ago- that he would say that he wouldn't believe you.
“Oh……Oh”.” Sirius' mind finally caught up, his thoughts now whirling around inside his head, Remus was now looking at him so intently, his eyes darting back and forth between the others eyes as if he was searching for something in them. Sirius swallowed, still not knowing what to say.
“That’s…thats’ good, I uh, I am too I guess- not I guess- I mean I am, I know I am.” Sirius stammered and imagined James and Peter yelling at him to pull it together,
Sometimes a man must awake to find that, really
He has no one
So ill wait for you, And ill burn
Will I ever see your sweet return
Oh, will I ever learn?
Oh,lover,you should've come over
‘Cause it's not too late
Remus laughed. His, slightly higher pitched than you'd expect, laugh that Sirius loved oh so much. Sirius flushed and looked away and cleared his throat “Er…you- uh. I don't really know what to say…" Sirius said with a weak laugh.
“Then don't." He smiled and Sirius' heart melted. Remus placed his hand on the others, Sirius then looked up at him.
“Okay. yeah sure”. Sirius' heart was racing and when Remus leaned in and his lips brushed against his own he felt complete and utter happiness flood over him. His free hand found its way up into Remus' hair and tangled into the soft untamed loose curls. Remus’ hand then reached up and cupped Sirius's face.
The lips find their place against one another and slot into place.
Fireworks went off inside Remus' head between the two of them. He tastes the smoke from earlier and the mint from Sirius’ chapstick on his lips. The taste and scent of Sirius overwhelms Remus' senses. Remus broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Sirius’ to catch a breath and to calm his own racing heart.
“I love you, Paddfoot”
“I love you, too, Moony”
They share another shy kiss that turns more passionate. Sirius' head was spinning. He focused on the Feeling of Remus’ lips against his own and thought to himself ‘it's finally happening. It’s not just a dream or a fantasy, it’s real and it means something.’
It was just them in this moment, pouring all their love into the kiss, after years of them yearning and loving eachother from a distance they can finally hold eachother the way lovers do, they can kiss, they can say I love you and have the other know the full meaning behind the words. They can love each other and be loud about it.
They pull apart and Remus whispers between them, “When was the moment you realized?"
Sirius paused and thought for a moment, “We were in our second year. It was February, it was still snowing from time to time, and I wanted to show you the new museum exhibit that opened up, I believe that week?, anyways we were at the exhibit and I remember just looking at you all day and thinking to myself,”
He took in a breath and tilted his head up to look Remus directly in the eyes, “This person is the most handsome and gorgeous person I've ever met, inside and out, he makes me so happy in a way I didn't think was possible when I was younger and…I think I might actually be in love’. And I was right.” They sat there staring at each other.
“Your’e such a sap. But also really sweet. Thank you.” Remus chuckled.
"Of course, my love."Sirius started placing small gentle kisses all over Remus' face. He kissed his cheeks, freckles, nose, forehead, jaw, temples, the corners of his lips. He kissed his lips once more and then pulled back. He could barely make out the blush that covered Remus' face and smiled.
Remus looks at him, eyes flicking between Sirius' facial features. The downwards slop of his nose, the pink flush of his cheeks, the glint of his light grey eyes, the curve of his smile, the small moles that dot his face, his black curls that frames his face. Remus looks at him with the most love-sick smile, and Sirius mirrors it right back at him.
The plucking of guitar strings and soft singing fills their ears as the beginning of ‘not a lot, just forever’ by Adrianne Lenker, starts playing.
“I love this song.” Remus commented.
“I know. That's why I added it.”
“It's a little sad….” Remus murmured, turning back to the city in front of him.
He just hummed in response. Sirius looked at the moon and then back at Remus, Sirius added after a pause, "You're beautiful.” Sirius kisses his cheek.
“So are you.” Remus just rested his head on the other's shoulder, and then, “I’m happy we met.”
“Me too……..me too” the last words were spoken softly.
My dog barks wildly
To protect my infancy
From my ex-believer
And i try to calm the wolf
To remind her I am both
Still she tears at my sweater
Not a lot, just forever
Intertwined, sewn together
As the wren sheds her feather
Not a lot, just forever
________________________________________________________________
The two fall into the music, their new found love and the crisp morning air as the sun starts to rise.
now they are together
they will be until the day they die,
until the flame of their love dissolves into sparks
until they reunite,
And the match struck once again.