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He was mad.
For the first time in their entire relationship, he was mad at him. Maybe that’s why it shook Taehyung so much because he’s never had to deal with an angry boyfriend before.
Said boy was slouched over one of the picnic tables that were set up at the backyard. He had his head over his arms and his eyes were visible, glaring at an empty plastic cup in front of him. There was a wrinkle in between his eyebrows that Taehyung wanted to smooth out. His raven black hair that he had gelled up away from his eyes was all messy now, probably from ruffling it in frustration. Taehyung felt even guiltier.
He walked over to the fuming boy and sat down beside him. He mirrored his position, placing his arms so close to his that the sleeves of their sweaters brushed together. Taehyung lay his head sideways so that he was facing him. He nudged him gently with his elbow. The other ignored him.
Taehyung decided to take action. He moved forward so that his chin was now placed on the boy’s left arm. When he was still being ignored, he scooched closer and nuzzled his nose right under his earlobe. The other finally gave in with a sigh and turned his head to look at his restless boyfriend. Taehyung smiled softly at him, loving how the boy’s eyes glowed even under the moonlight and the dim porch lamp.
His eyes fell to the other’s nose, the cutest part of him despite his protests at how it was too big. Taehyung closed his eyes and nudged his own nose against it. And just as slowly, he tilted his head just so that his lips slightly grazed the boy’s top lip. He maneuvered to the side and was now nuzzling against his boyfriend’s cheek that has turned pink from the cold night air.
He continued his descent across the boy’s face, kissing from the tiny scar on his cheek to both his eyelids. Each peck and brush left a sorry, and the boy accepted all of them with a light nudge back.
“You’re still an asshole for ignoring me.”
Taehyung chuckled, their breaths mingling in the middle, “Never again. I promise.”
Taehyung woke up with a jolt. He sat up with wide eyes and cold sweat forming on his forehead. He rubbed his eyes and squinted at his palms afterwards, like the dream was smudged all over them.
He huffed. “What the hell was that?”
*****
The first time Taehyung ever dreamt of the boy, he shrugged it off just like any other dream. When it kept happening, that’s when he knew this wasn’t normal. Of course, he doesn’t remember all of his dreams. He still got those black-out ones like when you sleep and then a minute later it’s already morning. And he still got dreams of flying dogs and ten-foot tall cheeseburgers. But in between those, he dreamt of the boy. Of being with the boy. Laughing with him. Hugging him. Kissing him.
By the tenth dream- that he recalls that is -Taehyung decided to ask his best friend slash roommate, Jimin, about it.
“So you have your own dream guy, what’s the big deal? We all have those.” Jimin said, clearly not getting it.
Taehyung stabbed his pancakes with his fork in frustration, “The big deal is it’s always the same guy in every dream. I wouldn’t think it was anything strange if it were at least different guys. But it’s always him, Chimchim, and it’s making me crazy.”
“You mean more than usual?” Jimin said, barely missing a chunk of pancake thrown his way. “Ok ok, calm down. So let’s say what you’re saying is true and you’ve been dreaming about the same guy every night, do you at least know who he is? I mean, does he have a name? Is he someone you’ve actually seen around the school?”
Taehyung shook his head. “No. I’ve never met anyone like him. I mean, I’m sure I haven’t. And I never remember a name. But I know it’s him. It’s like my subconscious is already used to the entirety of him that it’s becoming second nature just to be with him. It feels so real that it scares me when I wake up and realize that...it’s not.”
After a tense silence, Jimin snickered. Taehyung hit him upside the head. “Stop laughing at me, you penis breath, this is serious!”
“Sorry, sorry! I know! It’s just--the first boyfriend you get and he’s imaginary.”
When breakfast ended, Jimin walked to his next class with syrup stains all over his shirt.
*****
They were stuck inside the dorm building. Apparently a huge storm had broken out and it was advised that everyone stayed indoors. That meant no classes and no lectures.
They were both on Taehyung’s bed, having just kicked out Jimin so that they could have some privacy. The other grumbled at them to at least stay away from my bed, you dickwads while walking out with his laptop. That was nearly an hour ago and yet they have done nothing but cuddle.
Taehyung blamed the cold as he snuggled closer. He tilted his head to look at the boy beneath him, meeting his lazy crooked smile. Taehyung slowly traced a finger up to his neck, chin, and then finally his lips. He followed the curve of the boy’s smile and laughed when he nipped the the tip of his finger. He closed his eyes and hummed when the other started fondling with his ears, making them warm. Without vision, he slightly jumped when he felt a wet peck on the tip of his nose.
“You don’t have to stay, you know,” Taehyung mumbled sleepily. “The storm’s outside, I’ll be perfectly safe in here.”
Another peck, this time on his left brow. “I know, Tae.”
Taehyung’s head mindlessly followed the other’s lips, tilting towards it wanting more. “Then why haven’t you left, yet?”
And finally, finally, he placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I could never leave you.”
Taehyung woke up with a jolt. He looked to his side and reached out, his hand meeting only more sheets. Suddenly the bed seemed colder than usual.
*****
When Jung Hoseok from Jimin’s dance class asked him out, he immediately said yes. The whole school blew up with this news. For the first time in two years, Kim Taehyung was going out on a date. An actual date that wasn’t with Jimin or his mother, who visited him a lot.
As first dates go, this one went really well. Hoseok was really nice, offering to pay for both the movie and the popcorn. And his smile made Taehyung feel safe. But every time Hoseok would take his hand or brush away a strand of hair from his face, Taehyung couldn’t shake the feeling that this was wrong. Another man was touching him. Which was ridiculous because no other man has touched him ever before.
Was he actually feeling guilty for a guy in his imagination?
Being the kind person that he is, Hoseok also walked him up to their dorm room. When they reached his door, Hoseok leaned in to give him a kiss, probably just on the cheek, but Taehyung instantly bowed his head to avoid it. The tips of his ear turned red as he realized what he had just done.
“I-I’m sorry, hyung. I just...you’ve been really sweet this entire night but I...I just can’t.”
He slightly jumped when a warm hand placed itself on his shoulder. He looked up and was met with one of Hoseok’s iconic smiles. “It’s fine, Taehyung-ah. At least you had fun right? Besides, I knew no one would be able to catch the school’s ‘unreachable sunflower’.”
Taehyung groaned but smiled regardless. “God, do people still call me that? That’s embarrassing.”
Hoseok chuckled and ruffled his hair. Taehyung wanted to lean into it but the back of his mind kept pulling him backwards. “See you around, kid.” The older turned to leave but before he went down the stairs he looked back. “Oh yeah. And let me know when someone actually does manage to reach your pretty little petals.”
Taehyung barked out a laugh. “Go away, hyung.”
*****
“I don’t want to go.”
“Do you want Jimin to kill us? We’re going.”
He crossed his arms. “No, Tae.”
Taehyung sighed and lay his head on the boy’s lap, looking up at him with the best puppy eyes he could muster. “Okay, Oscar the Grouch, tell me what’s wrong.”
“I don’t want to go to the movies. Anywhere else, just not there.”
Come to think of it, the two of them never really went to the movies together. Like ever. Their first date was at a school fair- he won Taehyung a giant elephant plushie which he sleeps with every night -and all dates after that have been anything but going to a movie theatre. “Why not? I mean, you don’t hate movies nor watching them so what’s so wrong with going?” Taehyung asked.
He ruffled his hair in frustration then after a moment of glaring at the tv, he mumbled, “Because that’s where he took you.”
For a second, Taehyung didn’t get it. Then it finally clicked. “Ohmygod. You’re not still bitter about my first date with Hoseok-hyung are you?”
The boy avoided his eyes and frowned at the ceiling instead. Taehyung laughed so hard that he rolled down to the carpet floor. The boy kicked his side. “Stop it. This is an appropriate thing to be jealous about. He was your first real date.”
Taehyung finally managed to control his giggles and went up to lean his arms on the other’s lap, snuggling against one of the boy’s knees like a cat. “And you’re my first real boyfriend, you dumbass.”
“Well then sue me, I’m a selfish prick who wants to be your first everything.”
Taehyung chuckled and climbed up to put his entire body on top of the boy. He rubbed their noses together, wanting to get rid of the scowl on his face. “You are my first everything. You were even my first kiss! I don’t see how this one little thing could possibly bother you. It was just a date, we were basically just hanging out.”
He wrapped his arms protectively around Taehyung. “Still doesn’t change the fact that someone took the man I love to a date--”
“Love?” A huge grin was growing on Taehyung’s face.
The boy’s eyes grew like he just realized what he had just said. He hid his face against Taehyung’s shoulder, the area becoming warm from his heating cheeks. “Yeah but like...whatever.” He mumbled.
Taehyung could die at how adorable his boyfriend was being. He bent his neck to peck the boy’s ear that was flushed pink. “Say it properly or I’m not going to cancel our double date with Jimin.”
The boy groaned and pinched his side. Finally he raised his head and his shining brown eyes had never looked more beautiful to Taehyung. “I love you, Kim Taehyung. To the fucking moon and back.”
Taehyung let their foreheads press against each other, a content smile adorning on his lips. “And I love you, Jeon Jungkook. To the moon and fucking further than that.”
This time, Taehyung didn’t wake up with a jolt. He woke up with a gasp of a name.
“Jungkook.”
*****
Taehyung normally hated coffee and would prefer not to drink it at all. But after staying up the rest of the night, fearing he would go back to dreaming about him, a cup of pure caffeine was in need. An entire jug in fact.
He gave his name and sat down on one of the tables by the window. His head practically slammed against the table top. He closed his eyes as to avoid seeing the strange looks that everyone must be giving him inside the cafe. He heard the door chime again as someone walked past him to the counter. Finally his name was called and he sluggishly walked to the pick-up area. He nodded to the barista with hooded eyes and was about to walk away when suddenly he heard the next name being called out.
“Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook?”
At first, Taehyung couldn’t believe the coincidence. I mean, who the hell gives their full names for orders anyway? This guy apparently did. And said guy was standing right in front of him, mouth hanging open with eyes seeming horrified like he’d just seen a ghost.
Taehyung thought he must look the same. Because here he was. The man of his dreams. The man in all of his dreams for the past two months.
Jungkook.
“Tae...Taehyung?”
Coffee splattered across the cafe’s floor.
*****
“I can’t believe you’re real.”
“I can’t believe you’re real.”
“I’ve always been real! You’re the one haunting my dreams!”
“Gee thanks, Tae, didn’t know I was such a nightmare.”
“Don’t...don’t call me that. Not...not yet.”
“...”
“...”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. I’m freaking out and forgetting that this is just as shocking to you as it is for me.”
“...”
“...”
“You’ve got bags under your eyes.”
“I...I couldn’t sleep. I decided I had enough.”
“Oh…”
“I’m...you have to understand that I...I’m just so tired, Jungkook-ssi.”
“I know.”
“So fucking tired.”
“I’m sorry.”
“...”
“Taehyung-ssi...can...can I kiss you?”
“...Only if we stop with the honorifics. It’s giving me a headache like a gigantic banana just smashed into my--”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Wow.”
“Was that...was that okay?”
“It was good. Real.”
“Good.”
“This is so weird.”
“I know.”
“Like batshit crazy.”
“Mmm.”
“...”
“I meant what I said last night.”
“What do you--”
“I love you. A lot. Awake or asleep, real or imaginary, I just--I love you a whole lot, Kim Taehyung.”
“...”
“...”
“To the fucking moon and back?”
“Further than the fucking moon, Tae.”
*****
Taehyung woke up with a jolt. He covered his face with both his hands and tried to steady his breathing.
Then a comforting hand rubbed his back and a soft kiss was pressed against his ear. “Bad dream?” Jungkook asked.
He turned his head to the side and smiled at the boy beside him. “The worst,” he said, reaching out a hand to try and flatten out Jungkook’s bed hair, “you weren’t there this time.”
Jungkook smiled sleepily back at him.