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Yue Qingyuan had been happier lately, and that made Shen Qingqiu furious.
It wasn’t that he had a problem with Yue Qingyuan being happy. Well… it wasn’t just that, at least.
It was, in particular, the source of that happiness.
Everything started one day, at the regular monthly peak lords’ meeting. Shen Qingqiu had been dreading it just as much as he always dreaded these meetings, but he would show up anyway, because at least then he could claim something over Liu Qingge, who always found some reason or another to skip.
The whole ordeal was tedious, but maybe the most tedious part of it all was that as the second-ranked peak lord, Shen Qingqiu’s seat was right next to the sect leader’s. He tried to avoid Yue Qingyuan whenever he possibly could, but in times like these it was simply unavoidable. At least by now, Yue Qingyuan didn’t pester him nearly as much as he had when they were younger. He still made more inquiries into Shen Qingqiu’s health, comfort, and happiness than he really needed to, but it was… half-bearable now in comparison to what it had been.
Maybe he was finally getting tired of being shut down.
The day when Yue Qingyuan just left him alone for good and stopped putting on that little farce of his couldn’t come soon enough.
At least, that was what Shen Qingqiu had thought.
Everything changed that day, though. Upon arriving at Qiong Ding Peak’s meeting room and taking a seat, Shen Qingqiu noticed almost immediately that there was something… off about the sect leader. It was easy to see, because where Yue Qingyuan would usually start trying to initiate conversation with him, he didn’t bother beyond a nod, brief pathetic smile, and quick greeting.
Then, he began to stare down at his lap.
Shen Qingqiu frowned. He lifted his chin a bit, trying to see over the edge of the table, but he couldn’t tell just what Yue Qingyuan was looking at.
It shouldn’t have bothered him that much.
After all, wasn’t this what he wanted?
For Yue Qingyuan to stop acting like there was anything at all that remained between them, to stop pestering him and trying to uselessly make up for something he would never be able to make up for.
So why was it that Shen Qingqiu couldn’t stop thinking about it? Why did he spend the entire meeting not listening to a single word his fellow peak lords said, but just watching Yue Qingyuan, staring at him so intensely that he was sure the others noticed. Shi Qingchen and Jiang Qingyue at the other end of the table were certainly whispering about it, since usually it was the other way around, but Shen Qingqiu hardly cared. His mind was far too consumed by whatever it was that was making the sect leader behave so oddly.
At one point during the meeting, he heard a small gasp escape Yue Qingyuan’s lips, and a part of Shen Qingqiu wanted to just confront him directly, but he grit his teeth sharply and held it back, because he would be damned if he were the one to make the first move here.
A moment later, something touched his foot.
Shen Qingqiu first thought that Yue Qingyuan had stretched his leg out to the side to bump into him, and he was about to hiss out an admonishment— but then, he realized that this wasn’t something the sect leader would do, and that from the looks of his posture, it didn’t seem like he could reach that far and hold that position. It would be too awkward.
Especially since that little weight upon his foot stayed there for a good long while.
Then, it moved up his leg, and he swore he could feel something tugging sharply at the fabric of his robes.
His face turned white, then red, then purple.
What… what the fuck was happening?
Yue Qingyuan also looked uneasy, and seemed to be fidgeting a little bit. Once the conversation came to a lull, he quickly stood up.
“If that’s all settled, then… I am afraid I must adjourn this meeting early and ask you all to leave. I have some important matters to attend to.”
A murmur of confusion rose up from the peak lords, who were used to hanging around Qiong Ding Peak after the meetings were over for socialization, but one by one they all agreed, bid their farewells, and departed.
All except for Shen Qingqiu.
“Qingqiu, please, I really…”
“What the fuck is going on with you, Yue Qingyuan?” Shen Qingqiu snapped.
He hadn’t moved.
Mostly because he could still feel it, whatever it was, clinging to the fabric of his clothes. It had gone under the hem now, and was between his legs, pinning the front panel of his long robe to the ground… it seemed like it must be some kind of small creature, but Shen Qingqiu had no idea what kind of small creature would be making itself at home between the layers of his clothing, in the meeting room of Qiong Ding Hall of all places!
“Shidi, I really need to…”
“To what?”
“To, ah, find something.”
“To find what?”
“It’s… just… something I need to find.”
Shen Qingqiu wanted to smack him across his big, stupid face. He had a growing suspicion that the two strange circumstances had to be linked, somehow, and that finally gave him the boldness he needed to shift his position slightly, gingerly brushing aside the panel of his robe and looking down.
There was a small creature nestled on top of the fabric of his clothes, barely as big as his palm, that looked like a snow leopard with a long, tufted tail, and small wings folded tightly against its body. Its fur was white, with black spots scattered all across it in an irregular pattern, like it had been splashed with flecks of ink.
It was a demonic beast— a Frost-Spitting Flying Leopard, to be precise. Shen Qingqiu didn’t know they could be this small, though.
He narrowed his eyes, grasping the creature by the scruff of its neck and lifting it up abruptly. It gave a startled yowl, helplessly flailing its comically-large paws in the air as Shen Qingqiu held it up.
“Is this the thing you’re looking for?”
As soon as Yue Qingyuan saw the beast in Shen Qingqiu’s hand, his expression contorted into something that was simultaneously relief and horror. He reached over, quickly taking it from Shen Qingqiu’s grasp, scooping it into his arms and ignoring the way that the claws dug into his sleeves, tearing small holes as the little beast crawled its way up onto his shoulder, then down between the collars of his shirt to hide against the sect leader’s chest. Shen Qingqiu could still see its tail thrashing back and forth inside, making the fabric ripple and protrude like he had a particularly oddly-shaped bosom. It looked utterly ridiculous.
“Ah, well, you see—”
“It’s a demonic beast,” Shen Qingqiu snapped, “and you have it inside your shirt right now. And here I was, thinking that maybe you weren’t as stupid as I feared. You really should get rid of that thing.”
Yue Qingyuan looked apologetic. “I found this little one while I was on a mission not long ago… I had just finished taking down its mother, who had been harassing the local farms, and… well, I only realized that she wasn’t alone afterwards. I couldn’t just leave this little one, it was too young to survive on its own.”
“Then you should’ve killed it too. It’s going to grow up, you know,” Shen Qingqiu scowled.
“Shidi, please! Don’t be so heartless,” Yue Qingyuan’s brow furrowed, and he reached between the collars of his shirt, presumably to scratch the little beast’s head. “Even though they’re called demonic beasts, they don’t really have much demonic qi within them, you know? Especially when they’re small like this. Besides, it’s already gotten attached to me. It isn’t afraid of me at all, and hasn’t tried to attack me for days now! I’m planning to raise it here, and perhaps it will become a good companion, or even a guardian beast of Cang Qiong Mountain. I’ve already consulted with Zheng-shidi about it too, and he thinks that things could work out well if I’m careful to train it and care for it.”
Shen Qingqiu didn’t want to hear his explanations. Yue Qingyuan could say whatever he wanted, but the fact of the matter was that he was all cuddled up with a demonic beast, for whose sake he’d already cut short the all-important monthly peak lords’ meeting, just because the little devil happened to try getting all cozy inside of Shen Qingqiu’s clothes.
“It’s a stupid plan,” he replied.
Yue Qingyuan took a deep breath, closing his eyes and holding it for a moment, before slowly letting it go. “Shidi, I respect and value your opinion, of course, but I will not be hurting this little one.”
Shen Qingqiu wrinkled his nose. “Fine, then. I hope it ends up tearing your heart out with those razor-sharp fangs it has. That’ll teach you to hold a demonic beast so close and carelessly.”
He didn’t say anything more, just whirled around and swept out of the room.
If Yue Qingyuan wanted to go off and do stupid and careless things like this, then who was he to stop him?
They didn’t mean anything to each other anymore, anyway.
That was what Shen Qingqiu told himself. And yet, he couldn’t help but feel morbidly curious. He’d never heard of a domesticated Frost-Spitting Flying Leopard before, but, well, he’d never known one to be taken in as a cub either. These beasts were notoriously secretive and solitary, and even though they didn’t have much demonic qi, they were still very dangerous. They were natives of the Northern Desert in the demon realm, so it was no surprise that they might have trouble finding food in the human world— that was probably why the cub’s mother had made herself enough of a nuisance to become the target of a cultivation world hunting party— but usually, the cubs weren’t even seen. Maybe, if it were this young, the most dangerous of its instincts truly could be curbed.
Still, it was a wild beast. Even if it had bonded to Yue Qingyuan, and even though it had also seemed not too afraid of snuggling up next to Shen Qingqiu, that didn’t make it any less dangerous.
Soon enough, he knew he’d be proven right.
That, then, was probably the reason that Shen Qingqiu kept making excuses to go over to Qiong Ding Peak and spy on the sect leader and his furry, winged charge. Just to be there to gloat when the beast turned on Yue Qingyuan, and maybe, just maybe, to help him out when it happened and earn his eternal gratitude. Of course, he didn’t wish ill upon his shixiong, not really, and not like that— even though he was quite angry with Yue Qingyuan— but it would probably be satisfying to hear him beg for help, to make him wonder just for a moment if Shen Qingqiu would even bother saving him.
The fantasies left an unpleasant taste in his mouth. Not nearly so unpleasant, though, as seeing what was really happening there in the courtyard of Qiong Ding Peak between Yue Qingyuan and that little beast.
Not only were there no signs of aggression from the flying leopard as the days went on, but it only became more and more affectionate, rarely leaving Yue Qingyuan’s side, often curling up next to him or even on top of him, its purrs loud enough to reach Shen Qingqiu’s ears even from where he was hidden up on the rooftop. Yue Qingyuan treated it with just as much affection in turn, scratching its chin, brushing its fur, or giving it little treats and playing with it.
Seeing the sect leader doting on a pathetic little creature like that made Shen Qingqiu’s blood boil, his knuckles turning white as he clenched his fists.
How dare he?
Of course, he didn’t know why it made him so angry. Or rather, he didn’t want to admit to himself why it was.
It had been so, so very long since he’d felt this way. He thought he’d never have those feelings again, the bitterness that settled in his gut and twitched at his fingers and made him want to grab the nearest rock and hurtle it straight at anyone or anything that so much as looked at Yue Qi. To think that, despite everything, he still felt the same craving for that person’s affection as before— and that even so, Yue Qingyuan was giving all that affection away to some worthless little demonic beast’s cub, hardly even noticing him!
All these years Shen Qingqiu had just begged for him to just leave him alone, to ignore him like he wanted to ignore Yue Qingyuan in turn, and now that he had what he wanted, he was absolutely, completely miserable.
It just… wasn’t fair.
He should be satisfied.
So why was it worse than before?
Seeing Yue Qingyuan smile, hearing him laugh at some stupid thing that creature did that was apparently supposed to be cute, realizing that now all the time he had once spent trying to get Shen Qingqiu to open up to him was now spent playing with that little beast instead… it was simply unbearable.
He had to do something about it.
The first time that Shen Qingqiu visited Qiong Ding Peak, openly at least— since he’d spent plenty of time secretly watching from the rooftop— he entered the back courtyard to find that awful little beast left to its own devices, crouching down just off the side of the path with the clear intention of menacing a couple of butterflies that were fluttering nearby.
It didn’t seem too bothered by Shen Qingqiu’s presence. Probably because, though he hadn’t interacted with it once aside from the first time at the meeting, it had grown used to his scent by now on account of all the spying.
The thought that the horrible little demonic beast was actually comfortable around Shen Qingqiu made him feel physically ill. He was contemplating doing something like stepping on its tail, or even knocking it off its mark with a burst of spiritual power, but in the end he didn’t have time to put any such plan into action— because he’d hardly even entered the courtyard before a rustling came from the pavilion nearby, and Yue Qingyuan hurried out to meet him.
“Qingqiu-shidi,” he greeted him, but the address was laced with a question. “What brings you to Qiong Ding Peak. Is there some sort of trouble, or…”
His voice trailed off.
It was no surprise that he was confused. After all, Shen Qingqiu had, in the past, made sure to limit his visits to Qiong Ding Peak to only those strictly necessary occasions. He definitely wouldn’t come to visit, especially for no reason at all.
Come to think of it, Shen Qingqiu really didn’t know how to explain himself either. So, he just raised his fan in front of his face, hiding all but his eyes. “I haven’t seen you in a while. I was just coming to see if that little monster had done you in already or not,” he sniffed.
Yue Qingyuan sighed. “Ah, is that it? You don’t need to worry, Baobao won’t do anything like that,” he said, looking to the side, where the beast in question had captured its prey and was now quite happily batting it around, though not hard enough to do much damage— simply not allowing the butterfly to fly away.
So it had learned not to kill after all, now preferring to simply torture its victims.
How charming.
“If you’re going to keep that thing, then you should at least keep it locked up so it won’t drive the Cang Qiong spiritual butterflies to extinction,” he scoffed. “And… Baobao? Seriously? You’re the master of the world’s most prestigious cultivation sect, attempting to raise a guardian beast for your peak, and you couldn’t come up with a name that’s a little more original for it?”
Yue Qingyuan shrugged. “Well, perhaps the master of Cang Qiong Mountain’s scholarly peak could come up with something better?”
“Forget it,” Shen Qingqiu scowled. “Name it whatever you want. I never said I wanted anything to do with your little pet.”
There was an odd kind of expression on Yue Qingyuan’s face. His lips were pulled tight and straight, like he was desperately trying to keep them from turning up or down, and his face had a touch of pink to the cheeks.
“What is it?” Shen Qingqiu snapped. “Why are you acting so strange lately?”
Yue Qingyuan tilted his head to the side. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Why aren’t you bothering me anymore, why did you stop trying to get me to forgive you? It’s as if you just suddenly decided to change your entire stupid personality!”
“Ah… is that really what you think?” Yue Qingyuan’s face fell a bit. “Well… it’s a little complicated. You see, Baobao is really very, very young, and actually ended up getting very attached to me, very quickly. It wouldn’t let go of me for days after I brought it home, and it’s still very anxious when separated. So, I thought since you didn’t really seem to like it very much…”
“Oh, so now you’re interested in rescuing some pathetic little thing, and can’t bear to leave it alone to suffer. As if sitting around on Qiong Ding Peak is such a hardship!” Shen Qingqiu spat out the words, his brow furrowing and his eyes narrowing into slits. They burned a little, but not a single tear fell. “Where was that magnanimity before, oh great sect leader? It seems you have a heart after all— it’s just that it only has room for stupid little demonic beasts!”
Yue Qingyuan’s face turned ghostly pale. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it once more. “Qingqiu… Shidi, I didn’t mean to…”
“Shut up!” Shen Qingqiu curled his hands into fists. “I’ve already told you that you can take your useless apologies and stuff them back down your own throat. Why don’t you stuff them into every other orifice while you’re at it? I know very well what kind of person you are now, Yue Qingyuan!”
Before Yue Qingyuan could say anything else, Shen Qingqiu turned away and stormed off. Once out of sight, he summoned Xiu Ya and flew away from the mountain, slicing through the cloud banks at high speeds just to feel the water vapors and ice crystals slicing up against the skin of his face. He needed some time away from the mountain.
After spending the night away, amid a haze of incense smoke, the fragrance of fresh flowers, and soft, reassuring words he only ever half believed, Shen Qingqiu returned to Qing Jing Peak and shut himself up inside his bamboo house, as was typical when he was in a particularly terrible mood.
A few days passed like this.
Then, there was a knock on his door.
Shen Qingqiu dragged himself out of his semi-catatonic state and glared at the back of the door for a few moments.
Did someone actually dare to disturb him?
Preparing a scathing remark to throw out at whichever one of his half-baked little disciples was bothering him, he opened the door— only to see that it was Yue Qingyuan standing there again.
This wasn’t unusual— or, it hadn’t been unusual until recently— but Shen Qingqiu was still surprised to see him there. He’d have sooner expected the person at the door to be Liu Qingge, looking for a fight, than for the sect leader to have come knocking again.
“Why are you here?” he blurted out. “I thought you weren’t coming.”
…
… Why, why, why did his voice have to sound so small and pathetic right now?
It was just going to make this worse!
“Shidi…” Yue Qingyuan began, staring down toward his feet like some child who knew very well he’d done wrong and was about to be rightfully punished for it. “I didn’t realize that you would be so upset by this. If I truly must find somewhere else for Baobao to stay…”
Shen Qingqiu’s ears perked up when he heard that— would he really get rid of that little beast of his just for Shen Qingqiu’s sake?
But then again, to tell him to do that would be to admit… something. Even the thought of it made Shen Qingqiu’s skin crawl. How could he still be so easily affected by this pathetic man? So, he deepened his scowl and shook his head, hiding behind his fan.
“I don’t care. I already said you should just do whatever you want. Why should I be concerned with your ridiculous hobbies?”
He made to close the door in Yue Qingyuan’s face, but instead of slamming shut, it met some resistance. Shen Qingqiu looked down to see that the sect leader’s foot was now stuck between the door and its frame, and Yue Qingyuan had a slightly pained expression on his face.
Oddly enough, though, he was also smiling.
“What?” Shen Qingqiu snapped. “What are you smiling for, you fool?”
“Ah, I really can’t help it,” Yue Qingyuan shook his head, still smiling.
Shen Qingqiu was growing increasingly frustrated. “Can’t help what?”
“Well… all this time, I was convinced that Shidi didn’t want to see me at all, that you hated me more than anything else… and I know very well that I deserve it, but…” Yue Qingyuan’s voice trailed off, then he smiled once more, as bright as morning sunlight cresting the mountain peaks. “It turns out that Shidi does want to see me after all!”
Shen Qingqiu’s face turned a shade of deep purple in an instant, and he could reached out to shove Yue Qingyuan away from the doorway. “Get out! Get out!” He shouted, smacking the man across the chest with his fan before finally shutting the door and fixing the latch tightly closed.
That Yue Qingyuan, he really thought he could get away with this, didn’t he? How absolutely audacious of him! Shen Qingqiu had half a mind to open up the door and keep shoving him, smacking him, and kicking him all the way back to Qiong Ding Peak.
And it was all because of that… that clingy little monster that he just had to pick up from some forest somewhere and bring back here!
When Shen Qingqiu got hold of it, he would… he would…
Well…
Actually…
Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to indulge Yue Qingyuan, just a little bit. After all, he’d spent all this time pining for Shen Qingqiu’s company— so maybe now Shen Qingqiu would give it to him.
Just a little bit.
One visit every month, at the very most.
As long as it got him to stop paying so much attention to that little monster, and made him pay attention to Shen Jiu again instead, that would be good enough!