Chapter Text
You grow tired, don't you?
You grow so BORED.
Your poor heart must break, knowing you're crushing that child's life.
You're stepping on them to play your game.
How does that make you feel?
If you feel good about that, well, you're quite the twisted person. And you've made them do NAUGHTY things, haven't you?
But if it makes a person like you feel a single shred of remorse...
I could help you with that.
Your old vessel… mind it no longer! I could find you a more willing one. For a price.
What price, you say? Oh, nothing much. I just want to see what will happen when the cards shift in such an… interesting way.
You’ll let me listen in, won’t you? A silent observer, just like yourself. You’ll barely notice.
We'll make it a small condition of our agreement. And then... your little adventure can continue guilt-free.
I'll even sweeten the pot! That teensy-weensy no-no you made? Consider it gone.
You'll accept? Wonderful, so wonderful~
What's my name, you say?
YoU cOuLd NeVeR cOmPrEhEnD mY nAmE.
But, given our new arrangement, you could call me anything you wanted~ Here's a selection of BRILLIANT choices my other associates have used:
Your humble servant...
Your willing slave...
Your business partner...
Why, you could even call me... a FRIEND~
Always at y o u r h u m b l e s e r v i c e
CHAPTER ONE: ZERO
Sometimes, selfishly, Ralsei wondered how being solid felt.
The Lightners were made of flesh and blood. He was bound from words and dreams, a pretty exterior with nothing beneath. When he pressed his hands into his chest, it felt like if he pushed too hard, he could just… fall apart. He’d crumble into a bundle of fluff and float away on the breeze, as easily unbound as the frail melody keeping him together.
It was no surprise. The only thing keeping Ralsei spooled was the Prophecy. It was, literally, his purpose to help bring it to fruition. No matter what he sacrificed, no matter what lengths he went to, no matter what he had to hide. The words had been etched into fate, and so they were etched into him.
And after that… well, the Prophecy ended somewhere. And with it, so did Ralsei.
He knew where the words ended.
He knew what would have to happen.
Ralsei had accepted it long ago. He was going to die.
T-that was fine, if you really thought about it! “Ralsei” had only existed for a month, after all. He had taken form from the void when the first Fountain, the one of darkness most pure, was stabbed into the earth. His shape was dragged from the memories of the one who’d made it, someone they looked up to. An older brother, perhaps. The memories and the letters, their very shape, jumbled up and mixed with the darkness, blurring together and creating… him. Ralsei. A mere echo of someone who used to be.
He wasn’t real.
The things he felt weren’t real. The way he acted, how he talked, the things he was good at, all of those were traits that he had stolen borrowed. At best, all Ralsei could ever be was a tarnished mirror of someone better, like a cake that was hollow beneath the icing. A convenient prop for the darkness, a cushion to break the Lightners’ fall, doomed to disappear once he wasn’t needed.
And, if that was all he could be... there wasn't a good reason for something like him to persist, right?
After all, somewhere up there, there must have been another Ralsei running around free, happy, whole. A Ralsei that had earned the right to be.
Ralsei hoped that Susie and Kris could find that version of him. It would make it easier to forget about the one down here.
When Susie asked him out to the festival, him, of all the friends she must have had, it broke his heart in more ways than she could ever know.
It meant she was getting too attached.
She was growing too close to someone who could never, ever, be the kind of friend she needed.
Why him? Why not someone like Noelle, who was… well, she was the better him in every way. She was even better at magic than he was (and soon, Susie would be too. His last unique talent would be rendered useless, he would be useless, they'd throw him away and ). His very being bristled around her, feeling the sheer superiority, how she outmatched him without even trying.
Good! The Lightners needed someone like that. He… was scared happy Susie was learning too. He wouldn’t be with them much longer, but he absolutely trusted Noelle to fill his place in every way possible. She’d probably even do a better job than he did!
Ralsei was ashamed of the bitterness that bloomed in his heart when he thought of her, or how much Susie had improved. It was a sinful feeling; he should be happy for them. He wished he could rip it out of his chest, except he'd never seen what was beneath his green robe. When the Royal Coat Rack had sheepishly admitted to losing Ralsei’s hat, Ralsei had needed to explain that it wasn’t lost: it simply didn’t exist anymore. How much more wouldn’t exist, lost forever, once he threw it away?
H-he shouldn't complain though. It was to be expected. He wasn’t solid like Noelle or Susie were. He wasn’t real. These things happened!
He hated that she could so easily replace him in every way she didn’t even know what she was doing that’s just how large the gap was between him and the Lightners was surprised at how quickly he could be pasted over. Simply erased, just like his hat. An imaginary friend held no candle to a real one, after all, so why should he have expected differently?
He’d disappear soon, whether it was through death or being swallowed up by the void, bit by bit. Maybe they'd finally realize he was outliving his usefulness, and throw him away. All he could do was serve out his purpose, try to make it less painful for the others. He’d make this as fun as it could be—but not while they thought of him. He’d take the hits for them where he could—after all, it wasn’t yet his time to die. He took a selfish sort of comfort in knowing that no matter how many times he was knocked down, or how much pain he endured, fate ordained he would come out of it ultimately unscathed. Until the end, at least.
When all was said and done, Ralsei didn’t want Kris and Susie to remember him at all. If they remembered each other the most while they were in the Dark Worlds, he’d be happy. If becoming nothing meant they wouldn’t mourn him, he’d be content. He’d be a passing footnote in their lives, causing them the least amount of pain.
It was the best he could hope for.
So he was happy.
He was content.
He was fine. Just happy to help the Lightners on their way.
He was selfish. Selfish enough to accept the gift Kris gave him, like that wouldn’t make the heartbreak worse later on. Selfish enough to curl up and hug it every night, like he was worthy of such a thing. Like he was real enough to deserve gifts.
Selfish enough to request Kris buy Susie an “ice cream” in the light world on his behalf. She’d never forget that. Not when he was dead.
Selfish enough that he could never admit deep down, it wasn’t the words of the Prophecy, or the hollow comfort of his set path, keeping him afloat. It was a small tug in his heart, a nagging notion that perhaps if he was a good enough guiding hand, made the right nudges here and there, the Prophecy could be changed, fate would smile on him, and he, Susie, and Kris could live together. The logical response to that stolen, nagging instinct to not die, which he used to crush it every time, was that
He wasn’t real.
He was a Darkner. Nothing but a pile of fluff. He was zero. He cancelled out.
Ralsei and the Lightners would go their separate ways, and even if he acted on that selfish, stolen instinct, he’d be left trapped and alone forever. The props of Castle Town would disintegrate, the other Darkners would fade away, returning to their own, shifting realms, and Ralsei would stand alone in endless black.
Would it really be so bad to return to the formless dark? The dark hadn’t cared so much about being Ralsei, so Ralsei shouldn’t mind returning to the dark.
What did dying mean, anyway, for a Darkner like him?
Well, he supposed ‘he’ wouldn’t be around to feel it. He liked to think of it like an end to the pain. No more nights lying awake, clinging to that plush like he was any more real than it, wondering in what exact way he’d die. No more crushing dread filling every moment of his life, knowing that it was a fleeting gift. No more bitter loneliness as he watched his friends the Lightners leave again, knowing that he could never follow them or be their equal, even if they wanted him to be. Just the endless, formless void for all eternity.
Ralsei’s eyes slipped shut. And all he saw was dark.