Chapter Text
Welcome to the great and wonderful land of Gensokyo.
Well, I say that, but what kind of introduction would it be if I didn’t explain what Gensokyo even is?
You can say that Gensokyo is, poetically speaking, a land of fantasy interspersed with the unknown. A land painted with various phantasms bordering on the impossible, which makes it all the more fantastical. Anything you don’t believe exists, exists here. Whether it be legends, folktales, deities, or even something factually impossible, all of it is possible in Gensokyo! Of course, rules also apply here for a lot of things, and for very good reason.
“Hey! I see something over there!”
Why are there rules? Because the entirety of Gensokyo is predominantly inhabited by demons. Or as the locals like to call them and themselves, youkai. The first them are actually the humans who live in this land. Yes, there are humans, but I’d say they’re taking up at least 1-2% of the whole Gensokian population, give or take. The rest of them are, you guessed it, youkais!
Disregarding the fact that I may have botched up the classification of the entire population, those humans are said to fear youkais to the death. I honestly think that claim is bollocks, though. The way I see it, the humans who gathered up themselves up in their village seemed to coexist with youkais just fine. Trust me, I actually live there for the time being, and I often see humans with non-human features going on about with their lives. The village is known as the Human Village, a village with a clear, simple, and completely uninspired name!
Well, the name may be uninspired, but at least it doesn’t hamper those who are vertically challenged like I am!
Also, if humans are supposed to fear youkais, then it doesn’t even help that likely, more than 90% of the Gensokian youkai population are all in the form of humanoid girls. I’m not kidding at all here! Every single youkai here who are part of the 90% are just humanoid girls, full stop. The only way you can tell if someone’s a yokai is if it’s not even humanoid to begin with or if you spot an inhuman trait in them! At this point, you’re better off thinking of yokai as far less “demons” and far more “inhumans”. Though, even the classification of youkais themselves is blurry in some areas. Ah, what the heck. I’ll discuss that blur when I get the opportunity!
“Cirno, wait up! What exactly did you see!”
“Look! Look down there, Daiyousei! Some green glowing thing! Is that a bug?”
“A bug?”
…Ignoring the urges that compel me to blow these fairies away for insulting my very being, I figure now’s a good time to talk further on the classifications of youkai. For a land named Gensokyo, there’s actually a good amount of non-Japanese demons. Case and point, those fairies above me that actually dared to call me a bug.
“Um…, I don’t think that’s a bug. I don’t know why, but I can feel it.”
“What do you mean you can feel it?! This thing is definitely a… firefly, was it? Those bugs that Wriggle always has around!”
…If anyone wants to know, the fairies of Gensokyo can be said as embodiments of an aspect of nature. If for some manner or reason they somehow kick the bucket, nature will just bring them back. If you happen to be one particularly agitated person who just had a very bad day, you can go on ahead and vent some of your stress by beating them up till you’re satisfied. Crazy suggestion, I know! But trust me, sometimes teaching them a lesson is worth it.
“Cirno… I think he’s starting to get angry. He’s glowing red now.”
“Red? So what? It’s nothing more than a little glowy bug! I am the strongest of the fairies! There’s nothing it can do to me! HAHAHAHAHA!”
…Especially if one of those fairies happen to be VERY ANNOYING.
“Can you AT LEAST JUST SHUT UP?!!!”
Soon enough, the blue haired fairy that continued to talk smack was soon sent flying by a blistering gust of wind, screaming for her life while flailing her whole body around like the idiot she is. You can’t imagine how SATISFYING that was for me! This is what you get for testing my patience, Cirno!
“Cirnooo! I’m so sorry, mister! I’ll be off now!”
……….
Well! At least this Daiyousei still has her head screwed straight, meek as she may be. Now where was I?
Oh. I’ve been talking about Gensokyo and its population for a good amount, yet I never talked about the one who’s giving all these explanations in first person! I’ve been a fool.
As for who I am, I am Issun-boshi. Certified artist hailing from a village that is now long gone in the land of mortals, masterful swordsman able to contend with most stalwart of demons, and the profound and all-powerful Celestial Envoy of the Gods! A pleasure to meet you all!
Now, you might be wondering how the heck did I somehow end up in the land of fantasy of Gensokyo. Especially after everything that just happened to me way back then. Of course, I’d be happy to tell you everything, starting from the very beginning!
Also, this may sound funny to you, but a good bunch of guys went out and made a game featuring my adventures. If you want to learn about the journey itself from me, then you’re actually inbound into spoiler territory. Yeah, I know. It’s hilarious that the person who underwent the journey is warning you about spoilers regarding it.
If you want to really experience the journey I went through before I spill it out from my mouth, then I suggest that you take the valid equivalent of a finger, and scroll down with your eyes closed until you think you’ve gone past spoiler territory. You’re better off playing the game itself for the full experience. Having connections allowed me to play it for myself and they caught the story far better than words ever could.
But if you’ve already seen my grand adventure with your own eyes, or you want to hear my recount of it, then thanks. I appreciate having people who want to stick around. Now where to start…
I think it’s best I start from the very beginning. That Cirno called me a bug, and while I have every reason to lash out at her for making such senseless comments out of pure smugness, being literally one-inch tall won’t do you favors in beating the bug allegations. Yes, I am actually one-inch tall. If you’re thinking if I’m the only one who’s this tall, then you’re dead wrong. I belong to a race known as the Poncles, a whole group of people who are also severely vertically challenged like me by being one-inch tall. We even have our own village in a tree bark called Ponctan!
And it is there in Ponctan where I took up painting and heard of my grandfather’s exploits as the Celestial Envoy of the Gods, destined to travel with the Goddess of the Sun, Amaterasu. Back then, I didn’t really think much about it. I was already content with pursuing painting what I want, and to the likely surprise of many, I enjoyed painting women that I fancy, whether they are fully dressed or in risque fits.
In retrospect, this is likely going to make me the greatest menace to Gensokian society due to the gender imbalance that is heavily skewed towards females. Because almost all youkais in this great land happens to look like human women! I will not hold shame in my pursue of craft in the slightest! And mind you, I never stopped painting in that category! I just decided to be very discreet when doing that or do those from requests!
Anyway! Introspective reflection on my hobby-turned-job aside, I was content with my love of painting. Everything I knew in regards to painting is all thanks to my grandfather, Isshaku. He has always been of the strict sort, but a kind one all around. He may have been hard on me way back when I started my path to be a painter, but that’s his way to push me to be all that I can be. He’s also the one who taught me how to fight with a sword, and the one I have with me, Denkomaru, remained my trusty pointer to this day!
Though, there’s a point where he ended up going too far, and started pushing me way harder than necessary, all because he wanted me to follow in his footsteps. At that time, I didn’t know, or care about being a Celestial Envoy like I am now. Again, I’d rather be there painting my passions away, then begin my journey to be one like the old man when the time is right! He wasn’t having it though, and kept on pushing despite protests. I ended up being so fed up with his haggling, and he disowned me on the spot.
And thus, I became a wandering artist, walking the land of Nippon, present day Japan. I’ll admit that being a wanderer isn’t easy, considering that you’re a practical nobody to everybody else. Add my physical disadvantage to the mix, and it ended up being hard for me to get any attention. It didn’t help that demons also existed in Nippon, but didn’t evolve into becoming cute girls unlike the Gensokians. Real vicious sort, they are, I’ll say that!
Soon enough, my journey brought me to Kamiki Village, one of the biggest villages this side of Nippon. However, that was also the time when the vile serpent of legend Orochi came back unsealed and plunged the entire land to corruptive darkness. It was also the first time where I met who would be my lifelong companion, even if our first encounter was a little shaky, which literally involved her trying to literally EAT me. Funny times, once you get used to it.
Who was, and still is my lifelong companion? Any ordinary person wouldn’t believe me, but for anyone who knows me or are extraordinary, they’d believe that my greatest friend is the Sun Goddess Amaterasu. Back then, I was already aware of her divinity, but who would have thought that she’s a leading figure of a religion? What was once a fateful encounter ended up becoming blessings upon blessings in the long run. If anyone ever studied up on mythology like I did, you’ll understand why!
From then on, me and Amaterasu embarked on a journey like no other, accomplishing feats unheard of at the time. From slaying a creepy a spider woman haunting ruins within a jungle, to restoring all the greenery in the land through bringing trees known as Guardian Saplings back to life. We even managed to vanquish Orochi and seal him back with the help of Kamiki’s infamous drunken swordsman, Nagi! Granted, he was there to save his not-so-subtly implied love interest and wine maker Kushi, and it took him a lot of time to get over himself, but hey, chalk some points to him for getting over himself!
And if you thought that was the end of it, then you thought wrong! The land of Nippon is larger than one might think, and with it, more adventures to be had! Our exploits only grew more and more from that point. Me and Ammy saved a whole city from demonic blight, with the added bonus of saving a princess that hailed from the moon. Then we went and tore a fox’s tails and body a new one after suffering its machinations that reeeally gnawed at our hearts, then we went back to Wep’keer to end the eternal winter surging over there. We somehow even crossed time and vanquished Orochi again and met both Ammy’s ancestor and old man Isshaku back when he’s still spry! It’s not every day one can be a time traveler!
…I’ve already gone this far, so I may as well spill the climax. All I’ll say is that after everything that has happened, me and Ammy had to go our separate ways. In our darkest hour, I finally embraced my duty as a Celestial Envoy, and through my paintings, I rallied every single person in Nippon to pray to the greatest furball that ever lived, all to defeat the fabled God of Darkness known as Tokoyami-no-Sumeragi. Apparently, that god was responsible for the demons that plagued Nippon, so having him dead was the best thing that could have happened to us!
Still… If I had embraced my role sooner, I’d have been able to be alongside Ammy and fight that god together with her. But if I did, I wouldn’t be able to convince everyone in Nippon to pray to Ammy at the time. Hmm…
Water under the bridge. What matters is that the entire mess with Yami is done and dusted, and peace went back to Nippon. After everything that’s happened, I went on to become a wandering artist, just like the times before I went upon this grand adventure. I traversed great peaks of earth, perfected my swordplay, shared my art with many a man, and so much more! What’s more, even though Yami kicked the bucket, apparently demonkind did not. Demons still ran rampant across the land, and I definitely didn’t decide to just stay idle! The biggest win I got was against a group of strong onis that were planning to eat the daughter of a noble!
And to top it all off, I managed to get myself married! I took up my wife’s last name, and we even had children together! You might be wondering how I managed to have a kid with a human when I’m only one inch, but I have with me a surprise tool that I’ll tell you all later! The problem with Poncles however is that we age slower than humans.
…Yeah, you can probably guess the repercussions of a Poncle marrying a regular human. It made for very sad times when the time came. Well, at least with that realization, I actually counted myself lucky that I had a mind to have a few kids of my own. By the time I kicked the bucket, however, I unfortunately didn't have any family by my side. That is not to say that my death is a lonely one! I was a respected elder back in my day, and I led a fulfilling and exciting life until that moment! My death was somber in a different way though, but that's an entirely different bowl of nuts. What matters is that due to my deeds in life, which mostly leaned towards greatness (because obviously, I busted my ass to get to where I am.), I was decreed to spend my new afterlife at the Celestial Plains, also known as Heaven, at the highest plane of Takamagahara.
Life at Takamagahara was bliss. The Celestial Plains is as heavenly as one might expect, and since Takamagahara is at the highest plane, I get to enjoy the highest honors that only the top gods of a religious pantheon can only have! Speaking of top gods, this also means that I get to spend my time with Amaterasu and the Celestial Brush Gods that reside there! It felt like a touching reunion all around, and we feasted for days in celebration of it. I think that was also one of the few times I bawled my eyes out from pure joy!
You’re probably wondering then. I practically won the afterlife jackpot, and I’ve practically slated myself to live out the rest of my immortal life in peace. So, why exactly am I in the mortal plane here in Gensokyo? Well, ladies and gentlemen, life in a world where every single thing you desire is fulfilled so easily gets boring. You gotta find something to struggle for if you want to ensure that life will stay interesting, even if it’s as simple as trying to flip two bottles all at once.
Which is why I decided to just go and shift residences, from Takamagahara to Gensokyo! Don’t worry. This doesn’t mean I abandoned the Celestial Plains entirely. It just went into being a vacation spot, where I hang out with the gods and eat and drink as much as I want! It’s also my only way of understanding what’s going on what they call the Outside World, also known as the actual world where humanity continued to progress through the ages! A man once said that the truly evolved man moves with the times. Well, I may not be an actual human, but I’m man enough to know that I gotta keep myself updated!
Pulling back to Gensokyo, this land of fantasy is actually closed off from the Outside World, which is understandable once you realize the amount of yokais skulking about. The yokai here thrive upon the fear of humanity, and man eating yokais are still on the table. If they were to break free, it would be a nightmare for the Outside with all the disastrous events that can be casually imposed upon them without a care.
Case and point, the dark red mist that’s currently wandering about without a care in the world! Unfortunately, this isn’t the kind of mist that can be swatted away with a single Galestorm. It’s so omnipresent that it’s even blotting out the sun. If the perpetrator is trying to create a macabre spin on the Day of Darkness, then congratulations. They’ve nearly made me consider actually getting off my ass and finding who they are so I can give them a proper beating!
I say nearly, because apparently this fantastic land has their equally fantastic problem solvers to handle issues like this! News around the Human Village have informed me about the existence of a powerful yokai exterminator known as the Hakurei Shrine Maiden able to solve incidents like this within a day and return to sleep as if nothing ever happened. Though, there’s extra rumors that say that she’s often accompanied by an ordinary stereotypically dressed witch, complete with the classic hat, and equally powerful on her own right!
Together, they can tackle any incident and clear it out with grace and efficiency! At least, that’s what the rumors say. If the rumors are true, then no doubt that they’ve already sniffed this chaos out and went out to deal with it right away! I won’t even have to lift a finger, and since I’m free from any dutiful obligation, I am not obligated to loop myself into this incident at all! I can just continue to sit away near the Misty Lake and paint the morbid scenery before me with no one to change my mind!
~ Thinking Warmly ~
…I say that, except the universe decided to throw me a bad bone.
Why? Because I’m seeing a girl in the distance walking along the road toward who knows what? Any sane human wouldn’t even try going out under such hostile weather, so what is she doing here of all places?!
Alas, my ancient heart still has a soft spot for cute girls, and it now drives me to leap on over and see why she’s out here. Let’s see… red skirt, white long sleeves, ribbon on her hair and… yellow hair. Nope. Not the Hakurei Shrine Maiden, the Shrine Maiden in the rumors have a dark brownish hair, not bright yellow like hers. Not to mention, what kind of shrine maiden would carry an erhu? I have a good idea on what erhus are like, but is it normally that small?
Ah well. I may as well go over and see what her business is. And what better way to do it than to stand in her way?
“Stop right there!”
“Eh? Who’s there?” She’s looking around trying to find who halted her. Glad she can hear, but figures my height will be an issue, as always.
“Down here! Down here, lady!”
Seeing as I’m a living green light, she should be able to spot me nicely. And spot me she did, as she crouched down!
“Eh? You are… a green firefly? No, normal insects can’t talk so… who are you?”
…At least she has the decency to not assume things. “You can call me Issun. What’s yours?”
“My name is Rin, Rin Satsuki. Excuse me, but did you say your name is Issun?”
“Yeah. What of it?”
For some reason, she started pacing around and letting out hums. “Mm… Issun, Issun… Issun-boshi?”
“…You know of me.”
I’ll be damned. Someone on the mortal world who is not an oni, folklorist, or historian actually knows of me. It’s honestly filling me with pride!
“Of course! I read about you from a book I bought a few days back! If I remember correctly, it’s the tale of the One-Inch Boy, you rode down a river to a capital city on a bowl and eventually married a noble, right?”
So, the official story decided to make a few changes and focused more upon how I got married, eh? Choice of storyboard aside, she must have a very good memory if she managed to remember that off of a single book.
“Well, that latter part is correct, but that’s beside the point! Where did you get that book?”
“Mm, have you heard of Suzunaan?”
“The bookstore ran by one Kosuzu Motoori? Yep. That little bundle of spectacles is one of my most ardent supporters. She sold this to you?”
“Yes. Reading your story has been a journey, but I didn’t expect to meet the real Issun-boshi in the flesh somehow! What are you doing out here?”
“Painting the morbid scenery, which is mostly irrelevant. What is more relevant is what YOU are doing here, Rin. This red mist is no good weather for a stroll!”
“Ah…”
Her expression was quick to grow serious. “Do you happen to know of Incidents, Issun-san?”
“Yes, and I’m dead certain that this red mist counts as one. Your point being?”
“Well, I want to help a friend of mine in solving this Incident. I saw her flying past while returning from the Human Village, so I made a quick run back home to prepare. The problem is that...”
She trailed off for a moment. What’s the problem? “What? What is it?”
“Well, would you believe me if I ended up being too tired to fly?”
…Are you for real right now?
“You can’t be serious.”
“Well, I probably shouldn’t have rushed out as soon as I was finished preparing, but still! Knowing her, she’d likely reached the site of the incident by now.”
“Hold up. Slow down! One by one! First, who’s her? Second, where’s the source of the incident?!”
“Oh… Sorry.”
Great. Now I made her feel dejected. “Look, I’m sorry for yelling like that, apart from our insane height difference. I’m rather out of the loop here. So, can you tell me?”
“I see. Alright.” That managed to soothe her somewhat, and she also decided to sit down. I should to. “First, the person I’m referring to is Reimu Hakurei, a loose friend of mine. You’ve probably known about her since she’s very popular as the Incident solver of Gensokyo. The last incident that she solved happened to be a big one.
“Loose friend, huh? And, what’s the last incident?”
“Well, it mostly involves demons from Makai suddenly appearing in Gensokyo, though they’re apparently here as tourists. It was short-lived though.”
Demons from Makai, also known as Western Hell came over as tourists. Considering that that is classified as an Incident, I’m guessing that whoever set up that tourism venture forgot to bring the idea up to the Gensokians. In other words, this was non-consensual tourism and it led people to think it was an invasion from Makai.
Honestly, it’s a shame, but alas, their fault for just going through with the business without asking for consent. It would have been glorious if the deal panned out.
“Okay then. Let’s pull towards the current Incident. Where’s the red mist coming from?”
“I don’t really know, but Reimu was flying in the direction of Misty Lake. The source of the red mist has to be around here somewhere.”
“Fair reason. Alright, I understand what’s happening much more clearly now, Rin.”
So, Reimu Hakurei, the resident problem solver of Gensokyo is already hot on the case. So, with any luck, the incident will be quick to go away. Rin seems to have already rested enough, since she’s standing up now.
“Hah… I’m all refreshed now. In any case, thank you, and you’re welcome, Issun-san. If I may, I should be going now.”
“Wa-wa-wa-wait. Hold on, since you’re friends with her, then you know of how strong they are, right? You’re still going to go after them?”
“Yes. Having two heads is better than one. That and, even with the Spell Card rules recently put into place, I’m afraid she’s going to cause a lot of…collateral damage, so to speak. She tends to be very thorough with her danmaku since most incidents are caused by yokai.”
…Okay, I know I wouldn’t want to be an assumed accomplice to someone’s act of wanton destruction, Incident or otherwise, but there’s something I want to know further.
“I see… By the way, what are danmaku and these so-called Spell Card rules?”
The next thing I knew, Rin was looking at me like I’ve been living under a rock. What?
“I’m sorry. With all due respect, Issun-san, you don’t know about the Spell Card rules? Danmaku too?”
“…No, I don’t. Can you… You know what, never mind. I have a better idea.”
I can see she’s about to say something, but I stopped her, thankfully! “What is it?”
“Mind if I join you? You look like you need all the help you can get, and you can tell me about the Spell Card rules and whatnot on the way.”
And so, her expression immediately brightens up! “You’re asking me?! It would be an honor, Issun-san! We better be quick though. Chances are, we’re already lagging behind her as we are now.”
“True! Put on leg out for me. I’m hitching a ride.”
As soon as she stretched a leg out, confused as she may be, I was quick to hop onto her feet, then leapt all the way to her shoulders through advanced acrobatics that can’t be seen by the naked eye!
…In hindsight, the fact that the description is literal makes the entire thing seem sadder in retrospect. But at least I made myself comfortable quick. Though I can’t shake this feeling now that I’m up here.
“Are you feeling comfy on my shoulder, Issun-san?”
“Yep. Sure like my confidence in the sun, Rin. Feels like-“
…I had to stop midway. I’ve ridden on various animals and a wolf goddess before, but not a humanoid woman. Seeing her face up close was a first, enough to silence me for a moment.
Did I forget to mention that she’s also cute as a button up close? And…
“Hmm? What’s wrong? Feels like what?”
“Nothing. It’s just that I haven’t felt like this for a long time, traveling with a companion.”
“I see…” Rin’s growing contemplative for a moment. “Maybe you can tell me more about it? I’d like to hear more about you, Issun-san. Beyond what’s written in the books.”
“Sure, Rin. Well, as long as you tell me more about yourself. One story for another. Hpw’s that sound?”
Rin was so quick to nod. “Mm! I’ll commit all your stories to memory. I won’t forget!”
“Good. Good. Now let’s go! We have a Red Mist abnormality to clear out today and I’m not looking to be seeing red everywhere soon enough!”
So here I am, stumbling into a girl who’s earnest and kind, maybe a bit overzealous in getting involved in things, now joining her on my very first Incident resolution case, flying towards the sky in search for this abnormal weather and chasing after one Reimu Hakurei.
I’ll admit, I was getting bored of just lingering about, and just drawing a droll scenery like now is getting old fast. I need new inspiration, and what better way to get some than to go on a brand new adventure? Rin Satsuki may be no Amaterasu, but if my hunch is right, she’s no ordinary girl, much like how Ammy is no ordinary wolf. I have experience in this!
Who knows? Maybe with me and Rin around, we can shake things up and make the party more lively? I may not know anything about Spell Cards, but I’m a fast learner and history can attest to that! Besides, I have Rin to teach me!
Maybe in this quest, new inspiration will strike. We’ll see though! To a new adventure blessed under the sun!
...If only it was actually sunny today.