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Daniel felt sick.
He had heard heartbreak was hard, but he had lived through his break up with Henley, and he would have thought he had toughened up since then. Clearly he hadn't.
Back then he had felt hurt, he had felt angry, he had felt sad, but he had mostly just felt angry.
Anger was manageable.
Anger was something he could channel into his work.
This was different.
He still felt hurt, sad and angry as all hell. But he mostly just felt broken- and sick. You really couldn't forget the sick part.
He had thought he could will himself to feel physically okay. But he hadn't been able to ease the aching muscles and joints, he hadn't been able to make his stomach stop aching, or quell the rising sense of nausea.
Currently the only thing his supposedly amazing will power had managed to actually stop was his occasional certainty that he was going to throw up- He still wasn't sure he was out of the woods on that one yet. But at least he had managed to stop himself so far.
He really didn't want to throw up.
But of course there were a lot of things he wanted at that moment.
He wanted the pain to stop, he wanted his mind to stop replaying every good moment that was now in the past and every bad moment that was now suddenly put under an unavoidable magnifying glass, he wanted to be able to sleep.
He really wanted to be able to sleep.
He checked the clock again. 4:00am.
Great.
He wanted to cry, but he couldn't even do that.
He was sure there would be tears later, as much as that fact embarrassed him, but for the time being everything felt too fresh to be real.
Things couldn't be over. Just the other day everything had been fine.
How had everything fallen apart like this?
What had he done so wrong?
God- he was going to be sick.
He sat up with a start, but before he could get his feet on the ground his stomach settled enough that he no longer felt throwing up was inevitable.
His hands were gripping the edge of his bed tighter than he'd realized. Slowly he released the tension in his fingers.
His hands were damp with sweat.
The stress of keeping himself from being sick was exhausting.
His whole body felt frail and shaky.
The room logically wasn't that cold but he felt like he was freezing.
He needed more blankets.
That would help.
He climbed out of bed and made his way into the living room.
He walked on tip toes.
The last thing he wanted was to attract anyone else's attention-
Then the lights in the kitchen came on.
He froze mid step.
His mind was racing with possible solutions, but before he could do anything he was distracted by exactly what he had been desperately hoping to prevent,
“Daniel? What are you doing up?”
Dylan was standing there in the kitchen, staring him down.
There was no way to avoid the interaction, so with a sigh Daniel gave the most simplistic explanation of the problem,
“I was cold. I needed another blanket.”
“Alright,” Dylan said, setting aside a glass of water which had certainly been the entire reason he had been awake in the first place, “I'll help you find one.”
“I- I don't need your help,” Daniel snapped back, “I'm fine,” He insisted.
“Do you know where the blankets are?” Dylan asked with a raised eyebrow.
Daniel considered lying… But he really did need one of those blankets, and truthfully he had no idea where the blankets were, “No…”
“Okay then. Go back to your room and I'll bring you one.”
Daniel wanted to fight, but reluctantly he chose the path of least resistance.
“Fine.”
He retreated back to his room and did his best to make himself comfortable under the blankets he had currently.
His eyes told him the blankets were thick and warm, but his body told him they were made of paper.
He still felt like he was freezing.
Dylan walked into the room shortly, just as he had promised. He looked at the blankets Daniel was already buried under with a skeptical eye, clearly unsure why he would need the blanket he had brought in.
Dylan didn't say anything, but he brought his wrist to Daniel's forehead. After a moment he removed it with a frown,
“No fever…” He said, seemingly more to himself than to Daniel.
“Of course I don't have a fever,” Daniel retorted, “I'm not sick.”
“Okay,” Dylan said, sounding far from convinced.
But regardless of how much he believed Daniel he still spread the new blanket over the bed, carefully tucking him in.
But he didn't leave.
“Do you want something?” Daniel asked.
“I just want to make sure you're okay,” Dylan replied.
“I'm…” The word on the tip of Daniel’s tongue was ‘fine’ but he couldn't manage the lie; a real failure for a magician.
“It’s okay if you’re upset, Danny,” Dylan said with a sigh, sitting down on the edge of Daniel’s bed.
Daniel wanted to tell Dylan that none of this was anything Dylan had any place getting involved in, to tell him to get off his bed and get out of his room, but he couldn't do it. All he could was listen to the surprisingly calming sound of Dylan’s voice,
“We're all going to be right here for you. I know that we can't change what happened, and I know that what happened absolutely sucked. But we're all here for you, kid.”
“I’m not a kid,” Daniel snapped, sitting up so he could be closer to on eye level with Dylan.
“I know…” Dylan said with a soft laugh that said he in no way believed that.
“I'm very serious,” Daniel said, although truthfully he didn't have the energy to fight.
“You're right,” Dylan replied, “I'm sorry, Daniel.”
“It's fine,” Daniel said with a defeated sigh. He turned his attention down to his hands, because right then he didn't want to look at Dylan, he didn't want to focus on anything that reminded him the world was still there; unfortunately that was an unsurprisingly impossible task.
He wished he had some cards. He wished he had something he could focus on other than the crushing pain that made his chest feel so hollow and empty.
Suddenly he felt very sure he was about to be sick.
He mummured a quick curse and dug his fingers into the blanket like his life depended on it.
He could practically feel the color drain from his face.
Whatever part of his mind was left in the present moment told him that Dylan was speaking to him, but he was too focused on willing himself not to be sick to actually hear him.
Then the weight from the edge of the bed was gone.
He wondered where Dylan had went and why, he couldn't begin to sort it out, but he certainly felt more than a little betrayed by it.
Dylan had abandoned him.
Damnit, hadn't he been abandoned enough for one week?
But then just as suddenly as Dylan had left he was back.
His voice was there again, quiet and reassuring.
He pressed a large bowl into Daniel's hands, which he was more than grateful for; if he had to throw up he would prefer not to get vomit all over his bed.
Dylan kept one hand on the bowl, making sure it stayed in front of Daniel, and he brought his other hand to Daniel’s back, rubbing gentle circles into his skin which was suddenly burning with a feverish chill.
Daniel tried to focus his attention into every feeling that wasn't the pressing threat of throwing up.
He let his thoughts rest instead on the feeling of Dylan’s hand on his back.
Slowly Daniel’s awareness came back to the room.
The first thing he noticed was the sound of Dylan's voice,
“You're gonna be okay, Danny, you're gonna be okay. I’m right here. Everything’s okay.”
Daniel closed his eyes for a moment, allowing his senses to be completely taken in by the gentle rhythm of Dylan’s soothing words, and reliable circles on his back.
“Thanks,” He managed to say after a few more minutes past like this.
“Are you okay?” Dylan asked uncertainty.
“I think…” Daniel replied, with shaking hands he moved the bowl to the bedside table; he didn't want it too far, he had no idea if he was going to need it later.
“Here,” Dylan said, this time bringing a glass of cold water in front of Daniel.
Just like the bowl he kept his hand on it the entire time, as if he didn't trust Daniel not to drop it.
Daniel wanted to snap at him, to remind him that he was more than capable of drinking without aid- but truthfully his hands were shaking pretty badly, and there wasn't a non zero chance he would drop the glass without Dylan's support.
He drank a few mouthfuls of the wonderfully icy water, and the second he tried to push the glass away Dylan instantly moved it.
“Better?” Dylan asked.
Daniel felt mortified by all of this. He didn't like others to see him when he was weak, and this was a lot… But somehow at the same time he didn't want Dylan to leave, he didn't want to be left alone with all of this, so instead of arguing with Dylan he just gave a small nod.
“Do you want more water?”
Daniel shook his head.
“Okay,” Dylan set the glass down on a nearby dresser, “It's right there if you need it, just say the word.”
Daniel gave another nod.
He was exhausted.
How on earth had he been so wide awake just a few minutes ago?
It felt like every last bit of energy in his body was being devoted to keeping his eyes open.
“Just try to relax,” Dylan said, “I'll be right here.”
“You… You don't have to stay,” Daniel said, even though he really didn't want Dylan to leave.
“It's okay,” Dylan retorted, “Come on, let's get you settled.”
Daniel batted Dylan’s guiding hands away. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Dylan wanting to help, but truthfully, even now, he was fully capable of lying back down of his own accord.
Dylan satisfied his need to help by carefully tucking Daniel back in; he let him have that one.
Dylan took a seat in a chair he had pulled over to the side of Daniel's bed at some point.
“Okay. Just close your eyes,” Dylan said, “I'm not going anywhere, kiddo,” He added, taking one of Daniel's hands in his and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
It was impossible to believe that Dylan would actually spend the night by his side- It would be insanely selfish to even wish for such a thing… Daniel still wished for it.
And somehow it felt inevitable.
Somehow he just knew Dylan would still be there when he woke up, sound asleep awkwardly slouched over in that uncomfortable chair, hand still holding his.
He wanted a lot of things at that moment, but most of all he wanted companionship.
He didn't want to be alone.
And at long last, as Daniel's eyes fell closed and his mind began to drift off to sleep, he knew he would actually get something he wanted.