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When Sae tells Ren that Shido Masayoshi has requested to speak with him in prison, he initially considers not telling Goro.
He doesn't consider not going because Ren is curious as a cat, and thrice as likely to bring himself back via satisfaction. Despite respectively ripping each other lives to shreds, he's exchanged barely a handful of sentences with Shido. Less even if you don't count the Shadow version.
Maybe defanged and with his desires stolen Shido wants to start apologizing. Ren's not really interested in hearing that, but he is fine with screening the attempt for people who might actually want one, or more likely want to reject an apology given too late. Futaba might feel better for screaming at him, Haru certainly would, and Goro . . . hard to tell.
Maybe Shido actually wants to start undoing some of the damage and corruption he's encouraged to rot and fester the better to allow him to carve the world up for his taking, and this is a request to meet with the leader of the Phantom Thieves and divulge the secrets of co-conspirators and stolen research. That would definitely be worth Ren's time, definitely even be worth the skin-crawling, nauseous sweat of walking through a detention center.
Regardless, Ren doesn't for a moment consider not going though he does consider not telling Goro. His boyfriend (and god, Goro hates being called that, thinks it sounds juvenile and trite for what they are, but he's so cute when he's pissy that he's not getting out of it via anything but murder or proposal, so sucks to be him) is not going to be happy that Shido asked, and is going to be even less happy that Ren agreed. Hard to guess whether the bad mood will be protectiveness for Ren, jealousy Shido didn't ask to see him, or just plain, overwhelmed anger because it's the emotion Goro feels safest in but regardless Goro is going to be upset.
Ren, in general, does not like making people upset. He loathes beyond measure making people he loves genuinely feel hurt.
However, if Goro finds out Ren went behind his back he is not only going to be even more hurt, he is going to be so fucking incandescent that he might actually kill Ren for real this time. And that would probably make him sad when he calmed down, so really Ren doesn't have a choice but to tell Goro. Sneaky as Ren is, Goro's clever, good at sniffing out secrets, and Ren has the sneaking suspicion that despite everything his boyfriend is still Sae's favorite between the two of them.
Goro is predictably not happy about it. There is quite a bit of screaming, growling, and the destruction of one (1) mug.
But, nobody gets killed, or even maimed, and the mug was very conspicuously one of the ugly, bland ones from Goro's old apartment not part of the slowly amassing collection of cat-themed dishware Ren gets as presents from his friends, and most importantly Goro offers to escort him into the detention center and glare down the guards like his very own, very scary prince charming, so Ren count the discussion a resounding success.
Ren does not quite waltz into the visiting room of the detention center, because even though he's now on the less terrifying side of the prison glass and even though Goro's waiting for him in the lobby more than ready and willing to whisk him away, this place makes him want to be sick. Still, he refuses to show weakness in front of the guard that led him here before exiting the room with a sneer and especially in front of Shido who looks at him with the sort of pitying acknowledgement you show roadkill.
Well, Ren thinks as he strides into the room and takes a purposefully casual seat to meet Shido's uncovered eyes without a single flinch, a change of heart might force a conscious, but it couldn't fix a personality. Even drained of evil, a person could still be baseline unpleasant.
"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Amamiya-kun." Shido says, unruffled by Ren's silence or his glare. It is weird and almost a little nauseating to be addressed so politely, and it gives the whole affair an edge of unreality that has Ren subtly digging his nails into his palm for clarity.
Ren shrugs, not dignifying the politeness with an answer.
Undeterred Shido continues, "I heard you came with Goro." It isn't a question, and while he doesn't do anything as weak as trail off, it is still obviously an invitation for Ren to speak.
Leaning back in his seat in a show of false bravado, Ren answers lightly, "We do live together after all. It can't be surprising my partner accompanied me here, especially since I came to meet you."
He almost hopes Shido will take offense, wrinkle his smooth expression in disgust and make some homophobic comment so that Ren can offend him further by saying something crass. It would end this uncomfortable not-quite-confrontation, and he's sure he could spin the story into something that would make Goro laugh.
"I cannot claim to know you well, but no. It isn't surprising." Shido replies evenly. Even without his glasses his pale brown eyes have an almost yellowish tint, like a snake. The resemblance is heightened by how hard they are to read. "It is however relevant to the advice I wanted to offer you."
Ren is surprised enough that it might leak onto his face, "Advice?" He repeats, incredulous.
Shido's face does something that on a nicer person might have been a gently, amused smile, "Isn't that what adults are supposed to offer the younger generation? Given the trouble I've caused you, and the energy we've both spent dealing with the fallout of my crimes it seemed the correct thing to do."
Well-meaning, concerned advice given with the same indulgent, gruff air that Sojiro or Iwai might have as they enjoyed playing pseudo-father figures from the man who'd once growled at a police officer that the only reason he'd better see that nosy brat's face again was if it was in an article about a juvenile delinquent's suicide while Ren had been shoved up against the side of a police car so hard he'd been dizzy.
The sense of nauseating unreality expands, gummy and disorientating. So too, however, does his curiosity which is the unfortunate victor.
"Go ahead and shoot then." Ren answers.
Shido momentarily raises his eyebrows at the phrasing, before settling back into his own seat with a contemplative air, "My father used to raise dogs. Not for shows, or hunting, or even to serve as guards."
There is still something sinister about Shido, even after his change of heart, something cruel that even a regifted conscious could not steal from him.
"He raised them to fight each other for sport." Shido shrugs, "He was only mildly amused by the spectacle of it, but dog-fighting was a good source of income for a hobby and an excellent way to rub shoulders with powerful men. Violence, or more accurately, the power to do violence with consequence, to snap your fingers and have a weak thing torn to shreds, a life ended or ruined, is just as addictive if not more than alcohol or sex."
Ren finds his voice to respond, finds it cold, "That's why you tried to destroy Isshiki Wakaba's daughter with a fake suicide note." Not for strategy or vengeance, just to satisfy the itch of a vice.
Shido's eyes close momentarily, like he's overwhelmed, "Yes, I ruined many people for that reason. I tried with you as well, a nosy, naive child trying to prevent a drunk man from what was obviously going to a be a rape." He opens his eyes again, looking somber, "As I said that's partially why I'm speaking to you now, a reparation of sorts."
His expressions, Ren notes with disgust, are very similar to his son's, like a familiar song played in the wrong key.
(The disgust is not with Goro.
It could never be with Goro the same way Ren could never be disgusted with Ryuji for his temper or Yusuke for his obsessiveness - being like your father did not mean becoming your father. Instead it just makes Ren want snarl at the people who failed them,
"Your son is a good man.
You could have been a good man.")
Unwilling to acknowledge the apology, or god forbid accept it, Ren nods at Shido to continue the story.
"It is a very cruel and very easy thing to take an animal so primed to love you and teach it to maim and kill." Shido says, voice once again calm, eyes once again pitying.
"I used to watch him beat his dogs with a belt when they misbehaved, kick them for performing poorly in a fight, or throw them into a match against a larger hound he know would rip them apart simply because he thought it would be amusing . . . "
"I think you've gone well past the point were a kinda shitty childhood would justify any of your actions." Ren cuts in, because horrible as this is, Shido hadn't hurt people just for his goal, but also for fun as he'd just confessed.
A mean laugh. "I'm not the dog in this story. Actually, I had a good childhood. Isn't that horrible? I come from a well-off family with a good reputation in the community, and parents who considered me their pride and joy. I even had a good number of friends." He smiles sickeningly, "Sorry to disappoint."
'Piece of shit.' Ren thinks, though he doesn't give Shido the satisfaction of responding.
Shido looks a bit amused by his silence, though luckily he drops the topic to return to his story, "Despite all of that, those dogs loved my father. Would happily rip their fellow beasts to shreds for some some food, or if they were particularly useful and brutal, a pat on the head."
There is a pause, then Shido's awful, slightly apologetic voice,
"A son is very much like a dog."
Ren is on his feet, body tensed to fight before the impact of the words fully hits. His chest feels like ice. He wants to rip Shido's tongue out and then shove it back down his throat to choke him with it. Too angry to speak, he glares at Shido on the other side of the prison glass.
"Hah, still a nosy and naive child. My apologies for once again causing distress. Though," Shido tilts his head (so much like Goro, and Ren wants to snap his neck, wants to dig in his dagger till he hits a carotid), "I don't recall you being quite so angry before. You really do care for my son."
That at least Ren can respond to, "You don't deserve to call him that." He spits the words out as he lowers himself back into his chair.
"I don't deserve many of the things I have received." Shido replies evenly, tone almost lecturing, "I won't receive many of the punishments I deserve. You can struggle against it all you like but life is unfair, and I have always lived on the winning side of that equation."
Ren snorts but doesn't otherwise respond. Shido's not worth the time or energy to discuss philosophy with, "Get to your point."
"The point is that while it is very easy to make a beast out of something that loves you, it is equally dangerous. My father lost a few fingers, and then eventually his life to his dogs when a bite went gangrenous. It's why, useful as he was, I planned to kill Goro after the election instead of continuing to string him along with his desires for vengeance and acknowledgement."
'You failed.' Ren thinks spitefully. 'I made you fail, and if he'd won, Goro would have also made you fail, not matter what it cost him.'
Out loud he says, "I don't see what that has to do with me."
Instead of directly telling him, Shido continues like he hadn't spoken, "I kept track of those dogs after his passing, mostly just because with the changing times it would have been bad press if that aspect of my family history had left certain circles. Most of them were shot or given to other kennels in fighting rings."
His eyes bore into Ren, the next part obviously directed at him, "Even that ones that ended up in nice homes were eventually put down for mauling their new owners. A creature that can't tell malice from affection will inevitably bite the hand that feeds, even if that hand is never raised."
The point he's been trying to make is now obvious, the metaphor so thin as to be shameful, but Shido still finishes bluntly, "You're a nice person, Amamiya-kun, I suggest for your own sake you stay away from my son."
Ren honestly, genuinely for several seconds regrets not killing Shido when he had the chance - despite the burden murder would have had on his friends. Then on the heels of that, can't help but let out a short laugh, "You're scared of him. That's what this stupid little reverse shovel talk was about. You're scared of Goro."
Actual offense flashes across Shido's face, still a prideful man even with his distortion stolen, "I am appropriately wary of something that can't tell the difference between wanting to be looked at with approval and wanting to put a bullet through your head."
"You're just a coward." Ren announces, coldly triumphant, "I'm not afraid to save someone who will stab me in the back, or to love someone that has already put a bullet through my head."
That is the spirit of Ren's rebellion at his core, once bitten and next time he'd thrust his hand out twice as bold. The next rapist he'd run into he had beat the shit out of, would have killed or helped her kill if Ann or Shiho had asked him for it.
Shido looks at him with something between pity and frustration, "There's really no saving you, is there?"
It is an old argument between them at this point, but Goro thinks that no one in the world can truly save anyone but themselves, and maybe he's a little right. You had to make the hard choice to stand up and face your demons, whether they were your past, your mistakes, or an outside force grinding your face into the dust all by yourself.
Ren, however, believes your own self is the only person you can't truly save, because when you're face down in the dirt or locked in a prison cell with the bed sheets stripped, how are you supposed to stand back up? Someone has to offer you a hand, a new perspective, or even the favor of knocking in the teeth of whatever asshole had kicked you down in the first place.
Either way, when Ren gets up from is chair and doesn't even bother looking at the pathetic wreck behind him as he leaves, he truly means his parting words, "Right back at you."
