Chapter Text
Steve parked his truck in his usual spot on the side of the palace. He left the engine idling and sat behind the wheel, looking out the windshield, in a daze. The early morning sun was bright and hot on his face, but he didn’t want to go into the building just yet, didn’t want to face the day…
He had been back to work for a few weeks now and during that time he had felt like he had been running nonstop…case after case and research and stakeouts and legwork… the long and unpredictable hours…delving back into his usual routine with one very noticeable difference.
Danno…
He sighed, running his hand up and through his longer hair, thinking that he really needed to find some time to get a trim, than reconsidering, since Danny seemed to really like to run his fingers through it when they shared a kiss or cuddle or something more, that was, when Danny actually stayed in bed.
After getting only a few hours of restless sleep last night, Steve had gotten up early to find Danny had slipped from their bed again sometime during the night.
He was curled up on a deck chair, on the patio that ran the length of the house, wrapped in a light blanket, his once lively blue eyes dull and his expression pinched and tired.
He had thought that Danny had looked miserable and probably had gotten even less sleep then him, since Danny had been awake when Steve had finally stumbled in last night, well after one in the morning.
Five 0 had gotten another high profile case involving a dead developer. The man was discovered over the weekend, his body dumped just outside his company’s newest project site, wrapped head to toe in saran wrap.
And hours later, when Steve had finally driven up to his house, he was a little surprised to find the glow from the TV shining out around the pulled curtains. Danny had been lying on the couch, mindlessly flipping through channels, chugging Mylanta straight from the bottle.
And Steve just didn’t know what to do with that.
He wished he knew how to help…
Ever since Danny’s ma and pop had left to go back to Jersey, Danny had seemed…well, maybe a little sad, maybe a little withdrawn and way too quiet for Steve’s liking.
And now that Danny was back to eating a more regular diet, everyday was a challenge. They never knew what introducing different foods would do to Danny’s gut and Steve couldn’t stand seeing Danny sick anymore…it had been months since the shooting and in his mind, Danny should have been back to normal by now.
That one little bullet had changed so much about their lives.
The sudden banging on the driver’s side window made him jump and pulled a little, unmanly squeal from his throat.
He turned to see a smirking Kono. “Sorry, boss…I didn’t mean to scare you…I was just wondering if you were going to actually come in to the office or if I should just bring Chin’s research down to you.”
Steve nodded, looking toward the upper floor of the building, seeing the blinds to their office window slipping back into place.
He glanced at his watch, knowing that he had been zoning out longer than he had intended. “I’m coming,” he told her through the closed window and then turned off the truck, pocketing the keys as he opened the door and jumped down.
He knew his team had been worried about him, but he didn’t even have the strength to pretend to be his usual self.
Kono walked along beside him as they made their way up the steps and to their floor. She bumped shoulders with him a few times and smiled when he looked her way and he did his best to return the gesture…it was just…he was so tired.
Chin was standing by the computer table, pulling data up and onto the viewing screens. Neither he nor Kono asked about why he had been sitting in his truck, but he caught their shared look of concern.
Chin used the pads of his finger to flick an image of the murdered developer onto the last empty screen. The forensics should be in soon, but to Steve, it was clear that the cause of death was the huge gaping hole in the man’s chest.
He asked, “What do we…” but he was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. He immediately pulled it from his pocket, because if the caller was Danny, he didn’t want to miss it, but his face fell when he saw who was on the line.
Kono raised an eyebrow when he hesitated, but he shrugged at her and answered his phone, listening to the voice on the other end of the connection.
“Yes, I understand…I’ll be right there.”
Chin asked, “everything okay?” as he leaning back against the computer table, resting his hip along one of the edges.
Steve nodded, pocketing his phone. “The Governor wants to see me…”
He moved toward the exit, calling over his shoulder, “text me if you get anything new…I won’t be long.”
In truth, he had no idea how long this meeting would take.
He knew that Denning wanted a briefing on the case, but his boss had also warned that he had planned to replace Danny, even if it were only temporary.
Steve didn’t even want to think about what bringing a new person in would do to his team…do to Danny, let alone having to actually deal with the reality of it.
At Danny’s post surgery appointment, Dr. Hoy had told them it could be another few months before they would attempt the colostomy reversal and once they did do the surgery it would be another three to six months of recovery time.
No way would Denning leave them a man down for that long. Even if Danny could rejoin them in a few weeks, he would be saddled with desk work until he was healed enough to be in the field…but once he was healed enough to be in the field, he would be healed enough for the next surgery and the whole process would start all over again.
Steve knew that they were in for the long haul…that it wasn’t like on TV or in the movies…that when the hero was injured in the line of duty, he would miraculously be well enough to be back to work in the very next episode.
This was reality and sometimes…reality bites.
Back in his truck, he took a minute or two to look himself over in the rear view mirror.
His hair was in place and his eyes were tired, but he tried out a smile and decided it would do for now.
Traffic was light, most commuters already at work and most tourist still in bed after late night walks on the beach or late night bar hopping, both being very popular activities in his home state.
Pulling up to the guard house in the drive way at the Governor’s mansion, he flashed his credentials and was waved through the opening gate. It seemed as though there were a few more guards than usual, more men patrolling with dogs, but he didn’t think that the security threat level had been recently raised.
He made his way through the entry to the Governor’s office, taking a seat in the waiting room when the receptionist, Lisa, looked up and greeted him with a smile and an invitation to sit.
He grabbed an outdated magazine and flipped through the pages, feeling a little déjà vu as he spotted an article about baby proofing your home, but no other person joined him in the waiting area.
Maybe Denning really only did want to talk about the case.
“Commander?”
He looked up at Lisa, her smile soft and her face open and warm.
“You can go in now.”
Steve dropped the magazine back onto the side table and stood to follow Lisa to the double doors that led to Denning’s inner office.
She opened one for him and he thanked her, smiling, but his face fell when he turned to the desk to see Denning speaking with a woman with long, dark hair, occupying one of the two chairs facing the Governor, her back to him.
His heart sank, but then the woman turned around, stood and his mouth dropped open and he tried to think of something to say, but only her name fell from his lips, “Catherine.”
“Commander,” she smirked at him, canted her head toward the open chair.
Denning told them both to, “Sit…I see you know each other.”
Steve sank into his seat, a little shocked and unsure what seeing Catherine here meant, but he managed to answer, “Yes, sir…Catherine is a good…friend.”
“Good, now let’s get down to business.”
Steve half listened, nodding when appropriate and when the Governor was done explaining his decision to bring on Rollins they both stood.
“I just wanted to thank you, sir… for this opportunity.” Cath reached out and shook Denning’s hand before turning to him, an expectant look on her face.
“Right,” he finally agreed, turning and heading for the door.
She followed him out of the office and down the stairs to the parking lot. “Well…”
He stopped near his truck, waiting for her to continue and when she didn’t, he said, “well…”
She frowned now, but then she straightened and crossed her arms over her chest. “I just thought…” and then her brows drew together and she said, “You don’t want me here.”
He started to deny it, but hell…he didn’t want her here, not really. Cath was great…a great person, a great friend. Good at her job and she would be a good fit for Five 0, but…
“Listen, I’m just as surprised by this as you are and I understand how our…past could be…”
“Okay, just stop.” He ran his fingers through his hair, glad that he had a little something up there to grab on to. “It’s complicated, yes…but you’re damn good at what you do, so…”
So what? What the hell was he trying to say?
He let go of his hair and smoother it back down.
“It’s Danny, right? Listen Steve…I know I can’t replace…”
He huffed out a breath, didn’t let her finish, “No, you can’t. And you’re not…Denning has you on loan and when Danny can come back to work, he’ll return you, but Cath…”
“Complicated…got it…now come one…it’s my first day on the job and my new boss is a real hard ass.”
She followed him back to the palace in her rented car and he opted to take the elevator when she pressed the call button.
Kono and Chin greeted her with a smile and when she explained her new position they seemed to take the news in stride. “It seems that when the Governor put out some feelers for Danny’s replacement, my name came up. You know, I guess his staff must have remembered my name from some reports or something…” she looked to Steve, but he just nodded his head. “So…what can I do to help?”
Steve asked Chin for a briefing and they were both updated on McMaster’s, their dead developer, financials, projects, associates, last known whereabouts, and his family history.
“Chin, you and Cath go talk with Max. See if he can give us anything new to work with. Kono, see if Fong has anything yet…”
Kono nodded and Cath followed Chin toward the door, but she stopped, shuffling her brief case from hand to hand, looking toward Danny's office and then the table at the back of the room that Kane used while she was helping the team.
He inclined his head toward his office. “You can use mine.”
Her brows knitted together, but she nodded, opening his door and dropping her bag on to the couch, then hurried to catch up with Chin.
Steve moved toward Danny’s office and dropped into the office chair. He looked at the desk blotter and the doodles drawn near the edges of his calendar and the picture of a younger Gracie, in a homemade frame, a pink tiara on her head and a stuffed white kitty in her chubby hands.
Danny’s office was smaller than his, a little more cluttered, a lot more character, but it reflected the man that uses it...used it…
“Shit…”
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“Shit!”
Danny grabbed the back door knob and jiggled it one more time, but he knew it was useless…the door was locked and somehow he had managed to be on the wrong freaking side.
He patted his shorts pockets but came up empty. Looking through the back door blind slats he saw the pile of line-fresh laundry he had been folding and his cell phone sitting on the kitchen island.
“Damn it…” Why had he shut the door on his last trip to the clothes line? Steve has warmed him time and again that the back door handled turned from the inside whether the door was actually locked. “Who has a door knob like that? I’ll tell you who…Steve McGarret, that’s who!”
Well, there was nothing for it now. He would just have to wait until either A). Steve got home, which wasn’t a viable option, since he had a doctor’s appointment in an hour or B). he worked up the gumption to walk to the neighbor’s house and asked to use the phone…one thing was for sure, first chance he got, he was taking his spare key to the hardware store and making another spare key to hide in a flower pot or under a rock or to be buried under the lawn chair, no matter what Steve had to say about that…this was the third time that Danny had locked himself out, but at least Steve wasn’t home to laugh at him…on the down side, even though he was laughed at, he was also let back into the house.
Danny sighed, looking down at his board shorts and the slippers on his feet, realizing he wouldn’t be able to change before his appointment, “of all the stupid…” He started off toward the Kapolei’s, because Mrs. Kapolei was on maternity leave and hopefully home.
Their dog started barking as soon as he opened the back gate, but Aka was barking from behind the closed patio doors, so Danny walked up the path and knocked. The black lab immediately sat, no longer barking, but also watching Danny with a careful eye.
Mrs. Kapolei came to the door, three-month old Kalea on her hip. She patting the dogs head and pointing to Aka’s bed. He gave Danny one more glance before going to his spot and sitting.
She slid open the door and greeted him with a soft smile and said, “Danny…it’s good to see you, you are looking well.”
“Thank you Mrs. Kapolei…I ah, I am sorry to bother you.”
“It’s no bother…what can I do for you?”
Danny reached forward and touched baby Kalea’s soft, little head. The baby smiled and cued at him when he tickled her little cheek before dropping his hand.
Mrs. Kapolei shifted the baby and asked, “would you like to hold her…I really appreciated you and Steve keeping an eye on her for me the other day when I had to pick Kapono up early from school.”
Danny reached out for her and wrapped her in his arms, bouncing her a little. He missed having a baby around. Grace was growing up so fast and for a time he had thought that Charlie was his, but that didn’t turn out to be the case and who know if he would ever be able to father more children. “Well we loved having her for a bit, so don’t worry about it…I stopped by to see if I could use your phone, I locked myself out of the house again.”
He caught her little smirk, knowing that by now, Steve had probably warned the whole neighborhood about his habit of not checking the door lock, but she turned from him and headed deeper into the kitchen, bring him back her cell phone, taking back the baby as she handed it to him.
“Thank you…I just need to see if I can get a hold of someone to drop me off…”
“Oh…I thought you would be calling Steve to come let you in…Where do you need to go…I can take you…” She plucked her phone from his hand and was already grabbing her keys even as Danny was shaking his head no.
“Steve’s working a case and I don’t want to bother him, so I can call a friend, don’t worry…”
He found himself following her over the threshold of the door and around as she pulled it closed and locked it.
“We are friend, are we not?” she asked, walking across the lanai and to the drive way. She hit a button on the key fob to open the sliding door of the minivan. “Plus, this little Wahine nani naps so much better after a ride.” She already had the baby in her car seat before Danny could object so he decided to just go with it.
“Thank you…I ah, I just need dropped off at the Queens Medical Center…I can call Steve or someone to come and get me when I am done.” He slid into the passenger seat as she started up her van and they made small talk as she drove.
The baby indeed drifted off after a few minutes on the road.
She pulled up to the curb a short time later.
“Thank you again,” he said as he opened the door and slid from his seat.
“Anytime,” she smiled at him, waving goodbye as he very quietly closed to door so as to not wake the baby. After she drove off he headed into the center.
He was a little early, but that was okay. It would give him time to think about how to approach this new doctor with the subject matter he wanted to discuss.
“I am sure he has heard it all before,” he mused as he approached the counter at the urology office.
He signed in but didn’t have to wait as the woman behind the counter picked up the clip board as soon as he was done with it. “Mr. Williams…how are you today?”
“Fine, thanks…and you?” he asked, handing her his insurance card.
She inputted his information as she answered, “Doing well…I could do without all the humidity out there, but besides that, ok. Do you have your referral?”
Oh yeah… “Nope, sorry…I forgot to bring it.” It was, in fact, sitting on the counter in the kitchen, next to his phone and keys.”
“That’s ok,” she assured. “I’ll just call over to your gastroenterologist office and have them fax one to me.” She handed him back his card and told him. “You can have a seat and someone will be out to get you shortly.”
Danny looked around the waiting area, spotting a few empty seats toward the back of the room. He sunk into the chair on the end of the row and crossed one leg over his knee, his foot shaking in a nervous habit he has had for as long as he could remember. He had worked out what he was going to say and how to say it, even though it was not a subject he cared to share with anyone else.
It was embarrassing enough to broach the topic the first time he had brought it up to Dr. Hoy a few months after his initial surgery. Just thinking back on that first awkward conversion made him twitch, but at the time, he was really worried about his libido, or rather, the lack thereof.
After the first few months of healing, Danny wanted to be able to return more than just Steve’s affections, and even though the desire to do so was there, the actual sexual desire was not and so he couldn’t…well he couldn’t get it up.
Dr. Hoy cautioned him to take things slow…that it could be awhile yet and to not try to rush things, but he left that day with a few sample pills that did very little to help with his problem and gave him terrible headaches.
Of course, Steve was very understanding, but it frustrated Danny, at times, infuriated him, but they made do.
Thanks to Richie, Danny was quite versed at giving good hand and head and even though he was still healing, he didn’t mind Steve rubbing against him…but he wanted more than that and that was what today was all about.
He wanted his sex life back, he wanted to get back to work and he wanted to be…well, normal again.
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