Work Text:
When I woke up I felt two strong arms around my waist, a chest pressed against my back when I heard a small murmur in my ear, “Hey Alex how did you sleep?” Lauren’s said, his voice soft.
I tried to turn around when I felt a small bit of pain in my back area, I felt a bit more pain when I turned around to reply once more, I gave up with a small wince.
“I slept for a little bit, but I may need another pillow or something for my back or head,” I replied back, I felt a second pair of arms slightly graze my waist. I flinched ever so slightly when I tried to reach over to touch his arm, I felt some muscles pull me back.
“Herc, where is Laf?” I asked, pain flaring up even more in my back, I felt a small pillow being put up to my back.
“I’m here amour,” Laf responded, a small bit of worry tinted in his tone.
I didn’t try to move after that, I felt sleep begging to take over me again, I wanted to give into it, but I couldn’t I felt bad, I was worrying them, wasn’t I?
“Alex, darling, I can see your mind running from two miles away, we are worried about you because we love you,” Herc said, a small bit of worry in his voice as well, although now I could hear his tears that plastered his face.
I’m sorry, I just wanted to scream it out, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t turn around, “I’m sorry,” I just barely said, I could hardly even hear my own voice.
“Alex, don’t be sorry,” Laurens said, I small bit of love seeping into his eyes, I could almost hear it.
And that was precisely when a thunder strike happened outside. I froze; I couldn’t help it. The hurricane may have happened years ago, but I still had nightmares about it. And to top it all off? I couldn’t move I was facing the window.
“Alex, can you turn around for us?” Laf said, I felt the bed shift weight.
I shook my head, willing myself not to scream, or shout for help, I felt him put an arm across my eyes, when I felt myself being turned around, I froze, rain pounding against the window. I leaned into the grasp, although I felt the pain flaring up in my back, a small bit of fear overshadowed it. I felt my face meet Laf’s chest, tears raining my vision as I froze even more. The built-up tears falling into his chest.
“Is it one of those days?” Laurens asked, running his hand over to my back area.
I nodded my head, not trusting myself to making words out of the rain. The constant pinging freezing my brain with every single one. So much of my brain felt frozen that I didn’t realize when two hands covered my ears. I felt my face against a wet surface, which has once been a dry surface. I felt a strong hand on my waist. Herc most likely.
“I’m sorry,” I forced out a little while later, I tried to look up but another rush of pain filled my back. This would probably hurt way more if I didn’t have my tolerance for pain I would be in so much more pain than I am in now.
“You can’t control the pain, nor the storms, it isn’t your fault darling,” Herc said, a small bit of his weight shifted on me.
“I can get us some breakfast, Laf come with me, Laurens don’t move and stay with him,” Herc said, a small bit of love in his voice.
“Yes sir,” Laf and Laurens said at the same time, freezing just slightly when they remembered their time in the army, Herc froze but then shook his head with a slight smile.
Laf helped move me so I was facing Laurens, I burrowed into his side again, not quite ready to give up without him next to me. I fell into a deep sleep, my mind still running when I did.
I smiled in his arms, a small bit of my fear going away, the sleep I fell into I could still hear the sound of his breathing, his chest rising and falling, his hair falling onto mine, a small bit of fear took over his heart when he dreamed of the hurricane.
The rain was pattering my face, I heard yelling, so much yelling, trees were falling around me, water rushing, I fell through the ground, greeted with my cousin a knife through his chest, a tear slipped down my cheek, my heart stopped when I fell and saw my mother next to me, sick and dying. I held her closer whispering how sorry I was I felt her heart stop, I fell again and saw my dad leaving something I would never fully miss, I saw Laurens almost dead, I saw my oldest brother dead, I saw alternate universes where I was completely alone.
I woke with sweat beading down my face, tears falling down my face, I felt Laurens wiping them away as I leaned into his touch, “Breath Alex, your safe now, I’m safe, Laf is safe, Herc is safe, they are just downstairs if you want me to call them up here,” he said.
I just managed to shake my head, pain flaring up in my back as I did so, tears fell down my face, I still couldn’t breathe, but I could, and I know I could. Tears still were falling but I managed a smile, I knew I was safe, but my face fell when I heard thunder again outside.
“Breakfast was ready about an hour ago, I already ate, are you hungry at all,” Laurens asked, his voice carrying in the empty space.
“No, thanks though, I love you John,” I said, his arms tightening around me.
“I love you too Alex.”