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This is it. The last night Sirius will ever be in the cold, dark, loveless tomb that is 12 Grimauld Place.
Except, it isn't entirely loveless, is it? No, Sirius remembers his baby brother and all the love they've shared, all the little laughter and tiny moments of light they've brought to these haunted halls.
The thought of his baby brother has Sirius pausing, bag halfway lifted to his shoulder.
Sweet little Regulus. The reason he hasn't left thus far. But no, the boy will be okay. He's always been less outspoken, more willing to take the path of least resistance, keeping his head down.
Regulus will be fine in this house. He will be safe. But it couldn't hurt to check on him one last time. The boy is probably already asleep anyway. There's no risk of him realising there's something off—no risk of Regulus trying to stop him.
Which is how Sirius ends up slowly opening Regulus's door—careful not to push it open too far, lest he aggravate its creaky hinges.
Except, he doesn't see Regulus when he peeks through the crack.
'That's weird,' Sirius thinks to himself, slipping silently into the room and looking around. Regulus is nowhere to be found.
In fact, the only living thing anywhere in Regulus's room seems to be a tiny black cat, curled up and sound asleep in the middle of Regulus's bed.
That's even weirder, Sirius thinks, staring at the tiny fluff ball.
There's no way that our parents let him get a cat. Sirius quietly approaches the cat, avoiding all the squeaky floorboards that he still has memorised.
But then, on closer inspection, he realises that he knows this cat. This is the damned cat that started showing up on full moons over a year ago and never fucking left.
Sirius can't believe he's spent an entire year going crazy over where the cat came from, who it belongs to, and who it could be, while everyone (which really just means Remus, James, and Peter, but still) told him not to worry about it. Only to find out—a year later—that it's been his annoying little brother this whole time.
Except... Oh... Isn't that a thought? His brave baby brother figured out his Moony's secret and wanted to help him.
Sirius feels tears prick the back of his eyes as he realises just how similar they are. Not in the big ways, but, oh, in all the tiny ways that make them up.
All the building blocks are the same; they might've used them differently—built different things—but every scrap of metal once fit together, every wooden support beam was cut from the same tree.
Suddenly, Sirius is very much not okay with leaving Regulus here. He also feels very guilty for being so sure that Regulus would be fine here all alone. Here, in this cold, dark, loveless tomb that really would be loveless without his brother.
Except, he also knows Regulus would fight him tooth and nail over this. So, what is a boy to do besides transform into Padfoot and grab the cat—gently—by the scruff?
He's already down the stairs before Regulus wakes up enough to realise something is happening, and he's out on the street before Regulus wakes up enough to realise what that thing may be.
Just as he expected, Regulus starts hissing at him, trying to get his paws behind his head to swat at Sirius. Though he stops when Sirius almost drops him in the middle of the road, deciding to ride limply until they reach whatever destination Sirius has chosen for them.
Which happens to be a large house with a large wooden porch and wisteria climbing one of the walls. Sirius drops Regulus onto the floor and pins him down with one massive black paw, shifting onto his hind legs to use the other one to paw at the door.
It takes a few minutes, but the door swings open to reveal an older, somewhat plump, kind-looking woman with tied-up black hair and warm, welcoming brown eyes. "Who is—" The lady scrunches her eyebrows together in confusion. "Well, who do we have here?"
The lady asks, petting behind Sirius's ears and down his neck, obviously looking for some sort of collar or tags.
"Effie-Love, what is it?" A man speaks, appearing in the doorway.
It takes Regulus a split second to realise where they are after seeing the man. A carbon copy of James—or, Regulus guesses, James must be a carbon copy of this man.
They're at the Potters.
Regulus begins hissing again, trying to claw his way out from under Sirius's heavy foot. Regulus hates James. He absolutely, positively, viscerally hates James. And he's been quite vocal about it for years.
Or, at least, Regulus does a good job at convincing everyone he hates James—he's even convinced himself of it a few times, but Sirius knows him better than that. Sirius smiles just a bit bigger at the stunt he's managed to pull off, smiling bright as he thinks, "This will definitely make them get over themselves, one way or another." Either way, their pining won't be Sirius's problem anymore.
"Oh, sweetheart, you're hurting your friend. Here, give him here." Effie pulls Regulus out from under Sirius's paw, handing him to Monty.
Regulus goes somewhat limp again as he's lifted and plopped into the strong arms of Mr Potter, who lets Regulus sniff his hand before he begins idly scratching behind Regulus's ears—and anyone who says Regulus started purring is a liar. A dirty, filthy, lying liar who lies.
"Alright, now let's get you in until we can figure out who you belong to." Effie lets Sirius into the house and shuts the door behind them.
"Mum, who are you talking to? Who's at the door?"
James asks, bouncing down the stairs. He stops at the last step, jumping down the last few to run over to Sirius, dropping to his knees as he exclaims. "Sirius! You came! You actually came!"
Effie and Monty share a confused look before Sirius changes back into, well, Sirius, and then they nod with dawning understanding; they're mostly impressed, but not shocked in the slightest—no, they should have expected something like this from their boys; now to just find out what James is and if Regulus was involved.
"Of course I came. I promised I would. I know it's late, but I knew your lot would still be up."
"You know us, a house full of night owls." James laughs, tugging Sirius into a tight embrace.
"Oh!" Sirius exclaims, pulling away from James. "You'll never guess who I brought!"
Sirius stands and holds his hands out, silently asking for Regulus, who hisses and swipes at Sirius's outstretched hands—claws drawing little pinpricks of blood.
"I don't think he wants to be held by you." Monty teases, scratching harder behind Regulus's ears. "No, you're gonna be Monty's kitty now, aren't you?" Monty asks the cat. "Why didn't you tell us you had a cat you were bringing? We would have gotten some stuff for him, like a litter box and cat tree. Or is it Regulus's?"
"Thinking of Regulus, when will he be coming around?" Effie and Monty share a curious look before turning to Sirius, and the boy remembers that he forgot to tell them Regulus probably wasn't joining him; he shakes off the guilt he feels—not like it matters now. Regulus is here now, and that's all that matters.
Sirius lets a broad, cocky smile spread across his face, one that says, 'I know something you don't.' "Oh, I don't have a cat. That is Regulus." Sirius's smile brightens as he says it, barely containing his laughter as Monty looks back and forth between the kitten and Sirius.
"Regulus?" Monty asks, holding the cat in front of him.
"YOU!" James shouts when the position change makes Regulus stretch out enough to reveal the small white star on his chest. "You're—you're you...you're the cat that..." James trails off, looking to Sirius for support.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, I just figured it out tonight."
"It's very nice to meet you, Regulus," Monty says, putting Regulus on the floor, scratching behind his ears a few times when he mrrps in disapproval. "Well then," Monty starts, brushing the cat hair off his clothes, "we're glad you both made it—since we were expecting you both." Monty finishes. His tone suggests he wouldn't have been too happy if one of his new sons turned up without the other, especially without a plan for when the other would be coming home too.
"We'll give you boys a minute while we fix some tea, won't we, Flea?" Effie says, and the way she meets Sirius's eye as she says it lets him know that she knows and that she wouldn't have blamed him for leaving—Sirius doesn't know how, but she's always seemed to understand that living in that house was slowly killing him better than anyone else.
"Of course, Effie-Love." Monty smiles at their boys as he follows Effie into the kitchen.
"Well, go on, Reggie." Sirius prompts.
Regulus simply twirls around, stretching his legs in front of him before lying down.
"Come on, Regulus, we already know it's you."
Regulus flicks his tail in annoyance.
"Are you sure you didn't just steal your brother's cat?"
Sirius looks back at James sharply. "Am I...? Yes, of course, I'm sure that that's Regulus." Sirius squats down in front of the cat. "I know who you are. You can pretend all you want, but I'm your brother. I made you with my own two hands. I know you better than you know yourself, and I know that you are Regulus," Sirius whispers as close to the cat's face as he can get without being hissed or clawed at.
The cat rolls its eyes and huffs in a very Regulus-like manner. Flicking his tail again before stalking off into the kitchen.
Sirius stands up, practically fuming with annoyance at his brother. "He is that damned cat, James. I swear to Merlin he is, and he's deliberately trying to drive me to the family madness; he has been for a year, and I'm gonna get him for it."
"Okay, okay, just calm down. Maybe he feels safer like that right now. You know it's easier to process emotions in animal form, and this must be really scary for him; this is a big change that you've sprung on him."
Sirius glares at James—mostly because he hates how rational the other boy is being, partially because he hates that James is right.
Then they hear laughing from the kitchen and Regulus's soft, sweet, sarcastic tone drifting through the open space. "What? You said cats aren't allowed on the counter; you said nothing about people."
When they enter the kitchen, Effie is by the stove making tea, while Monty is chopping up fruits, while Regulus sits on the counter beside him, picking fruits out of the bowl almost faster than Monty can chop them, and they're all laughing.
Regulus meets Sirius's eyes, and he tilts his head just slightly to the side, a silent 'Thank you for bringing me along.'
Sirius smiles; he hopes it says, 'Anytime, Reggie. You know I'll always do what's best for you.' and not 'I'm so sorry. I can't believe I almost left you behind.'
'I realise why you said this is nice, why you said we'd be happier here.'
Sirius shrugs, trying to play off how much Regulus being here means to him.
"Who's ready for tea?" Effie asks, already pouring the tea out into cups.
"Tea might be ready, but the fruit is not. I think we might have a mouse problem." Monty teases, handing Regulus a few pieces of cut fruit and putting a few more in the dish, having already surrendered himself to the fruit tax.
"You should probably get a cat to fix that." Regulus teases back, biting into a crisp apple slice.
Monty hums. "I never would have thought of that."
"Well, then it's good you have me around then."
"Very good, indeed.'
Sirius smiles at the interaction, impressed by how quickly Regulus seems to be settling in. Though when he takes in Regulus's pyjamas, which consist of an old, worn Queen T-shirt and black flannel sleep pants patterned with tiny stars, all muggle clothing, all stolen from Sirius's closet, he doesn't think he should be so surprised; perhaps, Regulus had been more ready for the change than either of them thought.
It's only when James has finished giving them a brief house tour—promising to give them a proper one in the morning—and the door to Regulus's new room is securely shut behind them that James and Sirius decide it's finally time to ask the burning questions that they've had for hours. James starts first. "So, why'd you become an animagus?"
"Oh, you know, for all the same reasons you did, Prongs."
Sirius and James share a quick look.
"And what reasons would that be?" Sirius prompts.
"To help Moony through his monthlies." The way Regulus says it is calm, but it's also sarcastic, almost playful in that dry-humour sort of way that Regulus has.
"How did you figure it out?"
Regulus hums. "Honestly?… I didn't. Barty did, and when he told us—" "Who did he tell?" Sirius asks, anger and worry battling for which controls his tone.
"Down, boy, sit," Regulus teases, waving his hand dismissively. "Evan, me, and Pandora. Then Pandora and I both found out it's easier for werewolves to have someone to run with, but we didn't know about you four, or we wouldn't have gone through the trouble."
This time it's James who speaks, voice full of brave, protective, Gryffindor loyalty. "Why did you care to 'go through the trouble' to begin with? You don't like Remus; you don't even know him."
Regulus makes an offended sound at the back of his throat. "I'll have you know that I am one of the primary tutors in Remus and Lily's study group."
"For how long?" Sirius asks quickly.
Regulus rolls his eyes, growing tired of this whole 20 questions game. "Since..." Regulus trails off, eyes drifting up as he gets the years straight in his head, counting them out on his fingers as he thinks. "Second year, I found it so... I've been in it for three years, and they made me a tutor that first... But they had a different primary for my first two years there… So, one year as primary," Regulus wiggles his finger. "But I joined three years ago. They only just made me a primary tutor last year because they already had three when I joined, and the other one graduated, and you know how Remus is; he doesn't like having more than three primary tutors because it just makes things complicated and the chain of command gets messy, and anyway..."
James and Sirius look at Regulus, a little dumbfounded for a minute—Sirius makes a mental note to yell at Remus about not telling him this the next time they see each other.
"So, you're friends with Remus, figured out he's a werewolf, and then just...what? Became an animagus for the fun of it?"
"No. I did it to be able to help him... When I saw your lot had already done it, I planned to leave, but then Remus seemed fond of my animagus—"
"That's one way to put it." James chuckles, thinking about how Moony carries the cat around by its scruff most of the night, never letting it get too far away—treating it like it's his pup.
"So I kept going back."
Sirius nods before questioning. "Wait, but you said Barty, Evan, and Pandora know too, so what about them?"
"Well, Barty became a bat, which we decided would be no help at all, same with Pandora, who is a white owl; then Evan was a snake, which we weren't sure if that'd be safe, so I've been trying to snoop out if Remus has a fear of snakes because we figured if Remus does, then it was a safe bet the wolf did too."
"And you four have just...kept it a secret?"
"Yep," Regulus says, popping the 'p'. "Like I said, I like Remus, as does Pandora—which means Evan would do everything he can to keep Remus around, even if it's just keeping his mouth shut—Barty would be a wild card on whether he told someone for fun or not. But he's in love with Evan, and if he fucked with Pandora's happiness, he'd lose Evan. Plus, he likes and respects Remus as an intellectual. So… he's not actually a wild card."
"Wait, Crouch and Rosier..."
"Yep. Now imagine sharing a dorm with those freaks."
James shudders at the thought. "Did Evan really pierce Barty's eyebrow in your dorm bathroom?" James asks, the burning curiosity the rumour had sparked in him too much to resist.
"No, that's a slanderous rumour..." Regulus pauses long enough to let James nod and relax before finishing. "I pierced Barty's eyebrow in our dorm bathroom. "Evan does amazing stick-and-pokes, but he can't pierce straight to save his life."
Sirius and James sputter for a minute before the former speaks up. "How do you know he...?"
"One, he practised on Barty in our dorm almost every day, and two, I have one."
"Oh?" James asks curiously.
"Yeah, want to see?" Regulus asks, already tugging one arm out of his T-shirt.
"Yes," James answers far too eagerly.
'Smooth, Prongs. At this rat, he'll figure out your crush by the time we go to bed.' Sirius thinks, before he thinks about himself, which is, 'Maybe that couldn't be so bad, you know? It'll get them figuring themselves out quicker.' But before he can decide which thought he likes better, Regulus has his arm tugged out of his shirt to reveal a small star etched into his collarbone.
"That's a tattoo!" Sirius shouts, wincing when he realises how loud he was. Grabbing Regulus's arm before repeating quietly. "That's a tattoo? I thought someone just drew a star on you?"
"When did you see it?" Regulus asks, pulling his arm away from Sirius.
"Iwatchyousometimestomakesureyoureok." Sirius rushes out, all in one breath, forced by the slick twisting of guilt in his stomach for even considering abandoning his sweet, precious, perfect baby brother in that house—the guilt of having to lie to him when Regulus eventually asks about his plan to leave; he can already see the spark of curiosity in his eyes and is surprised the boy has waited this long. And he will have to lie to Regulus; he couldn't bear the look of disappointment, resignation, or betrayal that will warp his baby's features if he ever knew.
Sirius knows that house was slowly killing him—would have killed him. It doesn't make it any better. It doesn't stop an acidic taste from flooding his mouth every time he feeds Regulus a sugar-coated lie.
And now that he's here, now that he's feeling the guilt of just the thought of leaving Regulus behind, he thinks the guilt of actually doing it might have killed him faster than that house ever could—he wonders how he never thought of that before.
"Stalker vibes," Regulus teases, completely oblivious to Sirius's conflict. Regulus fixes his shirt and starts, "Well," before cutting himself off with a yawn. "Do we have more questions, or can we go to bed?"
"We can go to bed..." Sirius hesitates, "Do you want me to sleep in here?... Just for tonight."
Regulus smiles. "Yeah, I'd like that." Regulus yawns again, turning to James. "Good night, sleep well, see you in the morning."
"Good night, same to you," James says with a bright, but slightly sleepy, smile on his face. "Night, Pads."
"Night, Prongs."
Sirius closes the door when James leaves, turning out the light before joining Regulus, who's already tucked himself into bed.
Sirius lies down on his side to face Regulus, and he's only slightly surprised when Regulus moves to face him, curling towards him like they used to as kids. They both close their eyes, lying in the dark silence together, but Sirius can tell Regulus hasn't fallen asleep yet from the way he keeps fidgeting every few minutes.
"Regulus," Sirius starts, waiting while his brother shuffles around a bit to face him better. "What's wrong? Is it just that we're somewhere new, or is something on your mind?"
Regulus takes a deep, steadying breath, but it doesn't stop the insecurity from lacing his tone when he asks, "Why didn't you tell me we were leaving?"
"What would you have said?" Sirius asks, hoping he can get Regulus to drop it before asking too damning of a question.
Regulus thinks about it for a minute before conceding, "I would have told you to sod off until you remembered where you'd misplaced your brain."
"Exactly. I knew I just had to get you here, and you'd be alright; it was the getting you here part that would be complicated." Sirius says, hoping his brother can't hear the lie in his tone. Hoping his brother swallows the sugary sweet falsities he pours in his mouth, he hopes he can't hear the way they stick in his throat, unwilling to invade his baby brother's ears, but even more unwilling to admit that he was going to leave his sweet little star.
"You were right for that," Regulus says, accepting every caramel-covered placation without a second thought. Sirius has never led him astray. Sirius could feed Regulus poison, and he'd swallow it with a smile on his face, trusting that Sirius had a plan, Sirius had an antidote—Sirius knows best.
Regulus blinks his eyes tiredly. "What was the plan? If you had found, well… me?"
Sirius hums for a minute. "Didn't really have one. A sleeping potion crossed my mind, as did a stupefy or a petrificus totalis, though you'll be happy to know an imperio never did." Sirius jokes.
Regulus huffs. "That's so you—totally committing to half-cocked plans and hoping it all works out."
Sirius smiles. "Have you ever considered that I keep doing it because it keeps working?"
Regulus laughs; he presses his hand against his mouth to smother it, but Sirius hears it all the same.
They laugh together for the first time in forever, and when their laughter finally dies down, they both settle, their breathing evens out, and enough time passes that they both might be asleep. Until Regulus whispers into the open space between them, "Siri?"
"Yeah, Reggie," Sirius whispers back, shuffling a bit to look at his baby brother.
Regulus's eyes drift closed a few times as he struggles to stay awake long enough to say, "Thank you for bringing me… I can't believe I almost missed this."
Sirius smiles, tucking a strand of stray hair behind Regulus's ear. "This is just the beginning, Little Star."
Regulus sighs and shuffles closer until he and Sirius are properly cuddling. They both quickly fall asleep after that, and it's the best either of them have had in a long time.
It's the end of a lot of things. It's the end of belonging to the Black Family; it's the end of living in a cold home, entirely devoid of love except for the other; it's the end of everything either of them has ever known.
But it really is just the beginning.