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“The paper work with Silver is done, correct?” Malleus asked Lilia as they headed back to the dorm, Sebek and Silver had their club to attend to so it was just the two of them. Lilia paused, right, Silver… He found out who he was related to. The Knight of Dawn. Malleus had already talked to him about it but there were still unhealed wounds. He gave Silver the two things he wanted, his last name and his silver hair. That was all he asked for. How was Silver truly though? Was he happy with such small acts? Lilia couldn’t control his worries.
Malleus noticed Lilia becoming more worried over the past few days they had been back in school. Night Raven College was quiet and peaceful now but just a few weeks ago it was chaos, and it was all because of him. His overblot had caused rifts to form for students, those ‘sweet dreams’ were nothing but painful after they happened. Lilia’s was the worst one of all though, his being about his family and him saving his mother and killing Silver’s father. It ended nicely and yet, the tension in finding out about Silver’s biological father was painful for everyone.
Lilia tried to smile as he nodded, “Yep, Silver Vanrouge, son of Lilia Vanrouge. The headmage seemed confused but accepted it.” Lilia’s face turned into a bit of a smug look as he remembered dealing with Crowley. Sevens, his face when hearing about everything that happened was priceless. His face went down after he remembered the dream, yes it had a happy ending, Silver and Lilia could be open about being father and son. Silver though gained more distance from him, his friendships seemed a bit shaky too, if only he could talk to him about it. That thought roamed his head more than anything, it wasn’t his fault he was born, he shouldn’t blame himself. Lilia pushed down any regret he felt and kept moving forward to the dorm with Malleus.
Silver had no idea how to deal with the events of Malleus’ overblot. He knew others were struggling, Kalim and Jamil grew even more apart causing Kalim to be a bit distant from his emotions, especially negativity. He had his leg injuries but he was fine all together. The stables were his safe place where he could move his attention somewhere else. Sebek didn’t say as much and they focused on training instead of issues within the dorm.
Sebek knew he had to open up about everything, he hated seeing this rift between them and Malleus, as well as Lilia, grow more as the days went by. He turned over to look at the boy who he had trained with for so long, his eyes had dark circles under them indicating that he hadn’t been sleeping much. Nightmares probably haunted him of what he learned. “Silver.” He was shocked at the strain that his voice had when talking to Silver. He heard a hum of acknowledgment, Silver was still tending to his horse not looking up to see Sebek. “I just thought maybe we could do some training?” Silver simply nodded trying to ignore any memories of what had happened in Lilia’s dream.
“I would never have a child, let alone a human one.” His mind kept playing the same phrase over and over. “Silver? SILVER!” His eyes snapped back up looking at Sebek who was a bit taken aback seeing Silver looking at him. “Your sword fell, I won…” Something about his voice made Silver feel sick, Sebek should have been proud, this was his 2nd time winning against Silver and yet he seemed disappointed. “You have been distracted, this is the second time I have won and clearly you were stuck inside your head!” Sebek looked into Silver’s auroral eyes, “I don’t count this as a win either! We won’t train until you deal with whatever is bothering you!”
His frustration over seeing Silver being distracted, it was Lilia’s dream, he knew that. Silver looked at him, not changing his expression, “I’m sorry, I will try not to do that again, we can still train-” Sebek snapped back at him as quickly as possible, “I doubt it, you have been thinking about what Lilia said to you in the drea-” “Shut it!” Silver’s usual demeanor broke in front of Sebek as he watched his fellow knight in training breath fast, “I-I’m sorry, I just need a break.” He turned around, not looking at Sebek. “Wait, Silver!” His voice was still shaking as he yelled out seeing his friend walk away from him.
Pain went through Silver’s leg as he ignored Sebek, his left leg had been severely injured when fighting Malleus. He took pain meds every time he could, it was the only thing that helped at the time, it stopped the pain. He took them every few minutes because of how quickly the pain came back. He never looked at his leg however much he wanted to. Seeing something broken hurt more than the pain could ever.
Malleus noticed that Sebek was lost in thought. He never saw the young knight think so hard before. “Sebek, is everything okay?” “Same as usual.” Malleus nods before speaking, “Silver is still distracted?” Sebek stopped and faced him, “He lost again today! It isn’t fair, he would beat me any other time!” Malleus listened to Sebek who clearly was frustrated at Silver for not saying what was wrong. “Sebek he needs time.” Lilia suddenly appeared behind them. “MASTER LILIA!” Sebek bowed his head at him, making Lilia laugh a bit. “Knowing Silver he is probably going through some depressive thoughts… I will check up on him of course!” Every week Lilia did the same thing saying that he will check up on his son and yet Malleus saw no change to him.
Maybe this time… Lilia looked back at them with his usual smile, “Don’t worry I’m sure he’ll get better, you know how that boy is~” He winked at Malleus and Sebek before teleporting, Silver was most likely in the garden in the school. He had to come up with an idea to get his son to be more open.
Silver looked over at the flower patch where he would see Leona usually resting, he wasn’t there today. Sighing he moved over to the spot with his watering can and started to water the flowers. “Silver~” He didn’t move, “Dear, Are you okay?” Please don’t treat me like that… He nodded slowly, “Y-Yes Father.” Lilia seemed to be staring into his soul in that moment making Silver feel chills despite how warm it was in the botanical garden. Lilia suddenly teleported in front of him, careful not to destroy any of the flowers. “Silver… I don’t want you to lie to me again, we are worried about you.” Silver shut his eyes closed holding back any emotion his body wanted to release in the form of tears.
Noticing Silver shutting down Lilia moved himself next to his son, “It’s okay, I promise, no one is mad at you-” “You should be though! I-I never am going to be able to make up for all of the crimes he did!” His child never yelled, clearly he had been holding things in for longer than just a few weeks. He looked at the child he raised for 18 years. “Silver, you don’t need to make up for anything okay?” He tried to comfort the boy whose breathing quickened more and more. “I DO THOUGH, YOU-” Silver’s scream felt unnatural to hear from Lilia, he was always so quiet even when upset. “You took in an enemy's child. You shouldn’t have done that…” His voice slowed into a whisper.
Suddenly realising what he had done Silver snaps back up, “So-Sorry father I shouldn’t have yelled… But you shouldn’t-” “Shouldn’t have saved a child? A child who had nothing to do with his parents?” Silver blinked thinking of how worthless he was at that moment, he shouldn’t cry, not in front of his father, Malleus, or anyone. “Sorry I just need some time…” He looked at his father who simply sighed, “I understand, please come to me, or others, if you need anything, okay?” Silver hummed before seeing Lilia smile and disappear. Those moments were rare, Lilia showing his fatherly love and not being as playful with him as usual. Suddenly the pain in his legs came back, he had been overdoing his injuries from Malleus’ overblot but it came with a cost. He knew he shouldn’t be worrying his family. He had to do something, right?
Lilia put back his usual smile ignoring his heart aching with pain from hearing Silver say how he wasn’t worthy to be taken in by Lilia. “Your back Lilia.” He saw Malleus reading a book while Sebek cooked, “Yep, Silver is doing okay!” He just needs time, right? He hid his question behind a simple answer, “He just needs some time, after all he learned his past.” He thought for a moment about how Silver blamed himself over being the son of the Knight of Dawn. “Silver is a sensitive soul, strong, but still sensitive.” Sebek huffed in the background, “Yes but he should open up if he has any concerns instead of holding his feelings back!” Lilia chuckled at hearing how the two of them wanted to help Silver out.
A thought hit Sebek’s mind remembering the training: Silver had been using his right leg the most during their training, he never did that before, always putting the most weight on his left. He knew that the other knight hid his emotions and anything wrong. “Master Lilia, I think Silver’s injury opened up again.” He didn’t expect his voice to come out shakily seeing his mentor looking over at him, “I noticed that aswell…” He sat in thought over how to deal with his child and his pain before hearing the door open, looking over he saw Silver walk in, no light in his eyes. Oh how much Lilia hated seeing him in such pain.
Silver walked in not being able to hear anything, all sounds were muted by the same phrase over and over again: “I would never have a child, let alone a human.” He felt hands placed on his shoulder stopping him from going to his room, “Silver, we need to talk-” “I’m fine…” The words came out automatically, his mind and body felt so numb. It seemed like the medicine was doing its work, although something else was wrong now. Silver felt nothing. His emotions were all muddled and his leg didn’t burn.
Lilia noticed his son acting more strangely than back at the garden so he immediately looked at Malleus giving him a look. Malleus stood up whispering a warm command to the young boy, “Sleep.” Lilia felt his son fall down onto him. A small laugh came out of the old fae’s mouth before he lifted Silver in his arms. “Thank you Malleus, could you pick up his bag?” Malleus nodded as he picked it up. “Is something wrong?” He looked at Lilia who was in deep thought before he spoke up again, “Tired, not reacting to any pain, not even tensing up… He also was unresponsive to us…” Please, don’t tell me he has been…
Lilia looked down at Silver who was moved to the infirmary, he sat next to his son who was unconscious, tests were performed on the boy and it was revealed that he had overdosed on painkillers. The injury on his leg was reopened and was a mess to look at. Lilia hated looking at his son who had been in so much pain he accidentally overdosed on meds that were meant to help him. Why couldn’t you open up to us silly boy? He sighed looking at the unconscious 18 year old.
Malleus entered the infirmary with Sebek after Sebek calmed Malleus down from finding pill bottles in Silver’s bag. “Is he okay Lilia?” Malleus walked up to Lilia who was still looking down at Silver. “He is alright, thank you again for putting him to sleep back there. I’m guessing that his bag…” He trailed off looking up with Malleus showing a bottle, “Tell me, how do we help him, I can’t stand him harming himself like this!” Malleus broke looking at his caretaker who knew what had happened to Silver. “He didn’t mean it, I believe it has something to do with this.”
Watching Lilia point down to the large gash on Silver’s leg made Sebek feel sick, he asked him to train when his wound reopened… “Sevens… It looks worse than before…” Malleus looked at it, seeming just as sick as his knight felt, “It is close to infection, that’s what the nurse said at least.” Silence filled the room for a moment before a loud cry came from the bed, “W-wait. PLEASE-”
Silver’s heart rate was increasing more than before and his breathing fastened, whatever he was dreaming of it hurt the boy to the point of reacting in real life. “Silver?! Please wake up dear!” Lilia tried to calm his son down while watching him squirm more and tears falling from his face. “Malleus, could you use a spell to send me into his dream?” He turned over to the prince who was shocked but understood immediately, “Okay Lilia, but you do know that if you enter-” “Whatever is happening in there, if he was hurt he will be in real life, I know… I just- I can’t stand seeing him in pain anymore!” Tears fell down the bat fae’s face without his knowledge, “Okay.”
“Little prince~” A voice called out to Silver. He looked down to see that his clothes were his knight armor from Lilia’s dream. This was his 5th time having the dream, it always ended with his death but his body always kept trying to survive. He looked around feeling pain hitting him all over his body. Seeing something coming closer to him his only response was to scream, “GET AWAY!” He looked in the direction seeing a familiar figure. His father-no the General of the Right. Lilia held his magearm in his hand, he faced Silver with a murderous look in his eyes, before reading up to attack, “You will pay for what your father has done to us!” Silver crouched down as far as he could to avoid the attack, his leg moving on its own causing him to not be able to dodge the attack. Moving his arms up to not get his face injured.
He ignored the pain in his arms after blocking the attack and attempted to run, his leg of course stopped him from being able to get anywhere. His only hope seemed to be to fight back with the sword he had next to him. It was already broken but he could still use it. “What a pitiful attack prince.” Lilia still looked at him with a murderous look in his eyes. He felt no sympathy for the now golden haired boy in front of him. He pushed the sword more forward as he ignored all the pain in his body from the attacks. “You’re already dead, give up now prince.” He felt himself trying harder at the words spat at him.
When he was younger Lilia would fall into his old habits of being a war general and say things such as: “You might as well give up on protecting Malleus.” He knew his father never meant it but it still hurt him back then. Now seeing Lilia saying the same thing again made the thoughts that Lilia never truly meant back in the day. “You aren’t even near the level of your father, human.” Lilia readed his sword for a finishing blow, “W-Wait please, PLEASE WAIT DON’T!”
Suddenly a sword cut between the two getting the magearm. “Silver!” His name was called for by someone above him now, “Sweetheart, it’s going to be okay, this is not real, okay?” Another, more familiar Lilia, stood between them looking at him with worry. “Fa-Father? How did you-” “You need to wake-” Suddenly a force came at Lilia who dodged with Precision, “I am sorry me but I will be taking Silver back~”
His other version stood still shocked to see himself care about a human, much less the prince of Melanor’s murderer. Lilia winked as he turned his focus, “Malleus used his magic to send me here, you were shaking and crying, it’s okay now though, let’s head back okay?” He didn’t wait for Silver simply watching the dream fall apart in front of them before awakening back in the real world.
Silver woke up with pain in his arms and leg more than before he looked around seeing his father holding onto his hand and Malleus and Sebek surprised by his sudden awakening, Lilia didn’t move his hand, he looked up at Silver smiling, “See, that wasn’t real hunny, you’re safe, well except for those injuries…” Silver looked at his arms and winced, “I’m sorry for making you worry… Why did you come into my dream, father?” Lilia laughed a bit before answering his question, “You saved us from our nightmares, do you not deserve the same thing?”
Lilia realising that Silver probably thought he didn’t deserve any kindness sighed, “Well you do Silver, I won’t push you to talk about everything but promise me that you won’t hide injuries like this again?” Silver nodded with a small smile on his face, “Yes, father, I promise.”
The nurse walked in on all of them, seeing the two new injuries on Silver’s arms, sighing. “A new one huh? Let’s get this fixed up okay?” He turned to Lilia, “Vanrouge will need a week to fully heal, is that okay with you?” Lilia’s face suddenly lit up with joy, “Yep~ Now Silver listen to them and rest up okay, we will check up on you in a few days okay?” Seeing his son lightly nod was reassuring to him.
Silver was alone with the nurse after seeing his family leave, “I doubt that you will need a week though, your leg and arms can be easily healed, you just need some rest.” He blinked at the nurse who then turned, “The one week is just an estimate, when you are able to move you can leave though, that is all.” Silver was grateful to hear that the two new injuries didn’t need any concern and thank the nurse.
2 Days of healing later passed and Silver was almost completely healed, “Good work Vanrouge, you can leave today surprisingly, I assume Draconia and your father had something to do with how fast you recovered.” Silver nodded and thanked him again for allowing him to leave. “No need to thank me I will alert your father and Draconia on your release, take it easy still, we don’t want that wound to reopen and cause an infection, understood?” Silver nodded quickly and got up. He wanted to head to a spot behind the school and rest there with a book. He thanked the nurse again for taking care of him and headed out.
Lilia lit up after seeing the message from the nurse, “Silver is healed~ He was released, though I doubt he will be coming right back here.” He turned to Malleus noticing that he looked like he was in thought, Lilia knew exactly what he was thinking about, giving a smug look at Malleus “Aw~ Does Silver’s brother want to check on him~” Malleus felt his face flush before answering, “He isn’t- Yes, I would like to check on him, I wanted to talk with him anyways.”
Silver was reading a book Kalim had recommended to him, he felt guilt pulling at him more and more remembering himself yelling at Sebek. His mind was so muddled he couldn’t think properly anymore. Sebek hated him, that’s all he could think he was. “Silver?” Suddenly a green flash appeared in front of him and he saw Malleus. “Malleus?! I mean- Lord Malleus is something wrong?” Malleus shook his head looking at Silver, “You can drop the Lord Silver, we are alone right now.”
He saw Silver move from his spot, putting down the book before continuing, “Silver, I know that something is wrong, please tell me.” Silver looked at him blinking slowly, “My lord, there is nothing wrong…” Silver trailed off saying something under his breath, “You worried him, worthless.” Sadly for Silver, fae hearing is very sensitive so he heard the comment he made to himself, suddenly rain started falling on the two of them. “Don’t call yourself that, Lilia has been worried, we all have been, Alsim sometimes comes up to Lilia asking if you’re okay.” He looked at the shocked boy who had forgotten, somehow, about his and Lilia’s hearing. “I’m sorry Lord Malleus- Please think nothing of what I had said-” Malleus put a finger up to Silver’s mouth before continuing, “Silver, I know you have always seen yourself as not worthy of love, that you owe me and Lilia for giving you kindness…”
Lilia’s words played in Silver’s ears, unable to hear Malleus say anything and just simply saying, “He shouldn’t have gone back on his words to take care of a human, no less the Knight of Dawn’s son.” He felt something grab his shoulders, probably Malleus, he knew it was him. “SILVER, HE LOVES YOU, SEBEK AND I CARE ABOUT YOU AS WELL!” He felt his body shake from the sudden screaming next to his ear. Malleus seemed to have noticed as well because he let go of the boy and instead calmly placed his hands on Silver’s face, “I’m sorry Silver for yelling, could you look at me, that’s an order.” He looked up at Malleus, he could never disobey orders from him.
“You are not a mistake, what your birth father did was not your fault. You were only a baby, nothing more.” He looked at the boy who was now shown to have been crying since he yelled. Silver simply nodded to Malleus before feeling Silver hug him. “Thank you Malleus…” He looked at Silver, noticing the rain ending and feeling warmth. “Silver…” Suddenly he felt the silver haired knight gasp and back up from him. A ping of disappointment in Silver not hugging him for longer, it reminded him of when Silver was little and would run to him when he visited him and Lilia. “Sorry Lord Malleus! That wasn't appropriate to do and- " "It's okay Silver, I know that physical touch is vital for humans and you have been avoiding people for a while now, you needed that.” Smiling gently at the now red faced boy. “I let my emotions control my actions, that-” “Cease Silver.” Malleus let out a small laugh hearing the boy apologize again. “I think Lilia is more worried about you than me, you should talk to him later.”
Silver nodded without thinking, realizing what he was going to have to confront, “Okay, Malleus…” Malleus sighed before turning around holding onto Silver’s hand, “How about we head back now, Sebek is probably worried that I got hurt, you know how he is.” Silver giggled at the sentence, “Yes he most likely is.” He looked to Malleus before simply saying, “Thank you Malleus.” He thought he heard Malleus say, “Anything for my brother.” But it was so quiet that maybe it was just his imagination.
“Lilia, Silver would like to have a word with you.” Malleus pushed Silver in a corner basically making it sound like Silver came up with the idea to confront Lilia on his feelings. “Oh, of course~” Lilia moved from the kitchen and to Silver, “How about we talk in my room?” Silver nodded back. His legs felt stiff and his mind felt fuzzy as he headed into his father’s room.
Silver sat next to Lilia on his bed not sure how to talk to him, he stared down at his hands trying to calm himself down. Lilia broke the silence with a small sigh, “dear, I know it’s difficult to open up to others about what happened but I just want to let you know that I love you no matter what.” Lilia looked at his son hoping that he would be open about him, he knew this confrontation was from Malleus. “I’m sorry father…” Lilia sighed again, putting his hand on Silver’s head and patting it slowly, “It’s fine Silver, I am worried about you though, with what happened I mean.”
“I didn’t notice I was overdosing but those- the pills were the only way I could alleviate the pain father!” Silver felt his body going cold admitting to everything he held inside, “If only-” “You’re going to say ‘if only I was never born’ right? Well Silver, listen to me, what your birth parents did doesn't make you have to hold their crimes, okay?” Silence filled the room with the two of them sitting quietly, Silver’s tears falling along with Lilia’s. “Father…” “I love you so much, I am so proud of you.” Silver listened to his father admitting his love to him and felt a want to hug him.
“Could I ask for something father?” “Yes, dear?”
“Could I have a hug?”
“Of course.”
The love that he wanted was proven to him, Silver’s father, his lord, his friends, they loved him, they would forever accept him forever. He felt at peace after weeks of holding in his pain and fell asleep on top of Lilia, “Sleep well dear~”