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Chapter Text

OFF CAMERA

Text glares up from his screen, beaming painfully blue bright in the pre-dawn darkness.

"Remember: The animal they will make you work with has signed up to fuck and abandon every woman on that set. He is not your friend. He is not even human. Do not let your guard down."

Shen Yuan scowls down at the message, already typing furiously in response before he's even finished reading. He didn't want this job, and he's not thrilled about having it, but the last thing he needs is—"this RIDICULOUS shit from you, ge! But hey, thanks for the vote of CONFIDENCE, great job getting us into this mess in the first place, enjoy your media blackout and enforced vacation while I have to—"

"Ah, there you are!" a deep voice calls. Shen Yuan slams his thumb against the power button on his phone, killing the screen dead and blinking the after-image out of his eyes. “Getting an early start, as I knew you would. Good, good!”

Past the blue-green haze, Lao Gongzhu appears. He’s instantly recognizable, long white beard all but glowing in the darkness past Shen Yuan’s rage-text blurred vision. He’s been producing reality TV for longer than some of the contestants have been alive, and he doesn’t show any signs of stopping. The half-shadow beside him is slower to resolve itself into a person, and when it does Shen Yuan sort of wishes it hadn’t.

He’s never heard anyone call the heir to Lao Gongzhu’s empire anything but “Xiao Gongzhu,” but he certainly recognizes her, and he certainly knows better than to ask why the hell she’s here.

Having just turned 19, and without his elder brother’s repressive eye on the casting of this season, there’s no doubt she wanted to get involved in the mix.

This is, after all, going to be The Bachelor’s ‘wildest season yet’ according to all their marketing. Due in no small part to Shen Jiu’s absolutely hair-brained ridiculous, extremely public meltdown last season of The Bachelorette.

His virulent hatred and following sabotage of the contestant Luo Binghe hadn’t just made the tabloids–it had actually made the NEWS. Like, the real news.

“Ah, what a pleasure,” Shen Yuan forces his mouth to say, offering them both a friendly wave and a half-bow. “I’m glad to see everyone around so dark and early!”

“Dark and early!” the man who’s going to be behind at least 80% of his paychecks now that Yue Qingyuan has backed out of production guffaws, flapping a hand. “Ah, that wit! You’re going to be perfect! I knew you would be. Honestly, we should have replaced that stick-in-the-mud years ago!”

Shen Yuan’s smile turns strained, but he manages to fight back the urge to reply. His own half-written rage text aside, no one knows better than him the toll working on this show has taken on his stupid fucked-up big brother. Getting fired was the best thing that could have happened to him, though of course Shen Yuan would have preferred it hadn’t been in an enormous dumpster fire with horrifying legal implications and an inevitable horrific impact on his brother’s future.

Fortunately, Shen Jiu thinks Shen Yuan has only taken the job for the money. He doesn't need to know it came with a contract stipulation protecting him from legal ramifications brought by a media powerhouse like The Bachelor.

Not even Cang Qiong Productions could protect him from that shit show, so Shen Yuan would have to do it instead.

“May I introduce my beautiful granddaughter?” Lao Gongzhu continues, his smile un-forced and affable as if he hadn’t half-blackmailed his new host into joining the cast. “You’ll be seeing quite a lot of her this season, haha! Of course, what young woman could resist trying to capture the heart of our new Bachelor after what we all saw, eh?”

“Hi,” Shen Yuan says, extending a hand to her only for her to drape her own fingers across it, as though expecting a kiss on the knuckles. He gives it a gentle little shake instead, as if he doesn't understand her intent, and summons his easiest smile. “We’ve met a few times before.”

“You’re supposed to tell him,” Xiao Gongzhu prompts, her eyes back on her grandfather, expectantly.

“Yes yes, I’m getting there,” he chuckles. “Ah, patience and the art of management is lost on the young.”

“Oh, is this a production meeting? Should I have a notebook?” Shen Yuan asks, already knowing that’s not what’s going on. How transparent can you be? Why bother beating around the bush? Didn’t you already ensure Shen Yuan was going to be stuck here no matter what shit you pulled? No walking off set, no quitting, or the contract is null and void! Pretty crystal clear!!!

“It’s nothing so serious as that, young man, no need to fret! No, it will be quite simple, I’m sure. We just need to make certain that my little princess makes it to the final three. We have to make sure he has the chance to show off her hometown, don’t we, my dear?”

“No,” hisses Xiao Gongzhu. “No, that’s not what we agreed. I have to win. I want him.”

“Haha, we’ll see, we’ll see!”

This was a mistake. This whole thing, already a farce as he’s been told over and over by Shen Jiu, is only going to be more farcical now that Yue Qingyuan isn’t on the production team to cut down on Lao Gongzhu’s interference.

“I’ll be sure to give the best advice to our new bachelor,” he promises, and grins brightly past the rising sense of impending doom.

He really should have stayed home.

The set is less of a set than he’d expected. Bachelor Mansion couldn’t be considered anyone’s home, but it has so many of the trappings of a home that it felt weird to see so many people covered in microphones and headsets. Shen Yuan holds very still while being poked and prodded at by wardrobe, makeup, and the sound person checking the mic battery pack pinned just above his ass.

“First and foremost, you’re gunna have the sit-down chat with our new male lead,” the mousy production assistant from Frozen Kingdom Inc. rattles off at him, a clipboard clutched in one hand and his fidgety body posture seeming on the edge of flight. “And, like, usually, in theory, this is where you give him some advice and tough love or whatever? If you can, get him talking! He’s already got a sob story to die for, but we gotta try to get the audience in love with him or the magic doesn’t work, haha. Got it?”

“Yes, sure,” Shen Yuan agrees, waiting until the wardrobe consultant has nodded briskly and turned away before reaching up and loosening his tie again. “I’m here to advise him and speak for the audience, etc. etc. When do I get to meet this mystery man?”

“Mystery man?” the assistant gives a disbelieving little chuckle, then sobers slowly, his eyes widening and a twitch developing at the corner of his lips. “You don’t know.”

“I don’t know,” Shen Yuan agrees, then slowly: “I’m supposed to know?”

“Whelp,” the assistant checks his wrist watch. “Looks like you’ll find out in three. Good luck, buddy!”

“Haha, I’m going to jump off a bridge,” Shen Yuan replies. The mousy assistant, halfway through a shaky sip of latte, spits coffee directly onto one of the creamy couches of Bachelor Mansion, and the whole production team descends in a furious avalanche of scolding. With valiant effort, Shen Yuan manages not to laugh at the little asshole getting glared at by Mobei Jun, the silent ice king of the production world.

CAMERAS ROLLING

The thing about reality TV is that the making of it is, in all cases, fully surreal. It’s your day to day, but there are voices in your ear telling you when to stand, what comes next, who to introduce, what to say. The house looks like a house, but there are cameras, and production assistants, and microphones in every corner.

“There are no secrets on set unless you have the editing power,” Shen Jiu used to say, bitter, sour, and angry.

It doesn’t occur to Shen Yuan that he was intentionally kept in the dark on the identity of the bachelor until the voice in his ear calls for the door to open.  And then it’s too late. The cameras see how his eyes widen, how his breath hitches, how his hand flies up to his heart.

In the doorway, wreathed in lights perfectly calculated to make his skin look flawless, dressed in a suit that looks luxurious without being ostentatious, with an anxious little smile on his face and a glint of danger in his eyes, stands the one and only Luo Binghe.

In Qi Qingqi’s season on The Bachelorette he’d been the youngest competitor–”this is practically cradle robbing!” Shen Yuan had written scathingly in the Bachelor Nation forums, back when he was just Peerless Cucumber, a nobody who hadn’t found it suspicious that his brother had gone radio-silent after this year’s production.

Binghe has grown, though, since that sweet limo exit where he’d offered Qi Qingqi hand-made sweets with a charming smile and an earnest hope for love to blossom between them.

He must have had no choice but to grow, after what Shen Jiu put him through.

It should have been the scandal of the century that Lao Gongzhu’s Palace Productions and Ice King hadn’t put a stop to it. Instead, it had turned into solely a Cang Qiong ‘matter for internal review,’ never mind that all three production companies had people filming, recording, listening, watching, as Shen Jiu verbally abused Luo Binghe, sabotaged his chances, spread vicious rumors about him, ostracized him from the other men, encouraging escalating retaliation against him…

It had almost been a relief, when Shen Jiu finally snapped on-camera and assaulted the poor kid, forcing security to step in.

The scating text message from that morning is only the third thing Shen Jiu has said to his brother after the whole event aired. The first had been: “Mind your own business.” The second: “Tell me you didn’t sign that contract.”

"It’s going to be our wildest season ever," the Bachelor staff had proclaimed, and now Shen Yuan gets his first glimpse into why.

“Binghe,” Shen Yuan breathes aloud, and watches those dark, clever eyes snap to his own rather than gazing politely into the middle distance.

“Shen Yuan,” Luo Binghe greets, his affable smile sharpening at the corners.

This is the boy who his brother berated and maligned. Who had spoken quietly to Qi Qingqi about his lost mother, only to have her memory spat on by the other young men of the season at Shen Jiu’s encouragement. Who’d faced cruelty with kindness, humility, and bravery, up until the choice had been taken from him. Who had gone home with a quiet “I understand,” when Qi Qingqi had proclaimed she couldn’t stand how her story had become his.

His teeth are very white, and his canines are very sharp. Shen Yuan’s heart is in his throat, pounding like a death drum. He swallows it down with tremendous effort.

“I’m so glad to see you well,” he says with bone-deep earnestness, extending a hand.

Luo Binghe steps forward-–brave, so brave, Shen Yuan knows how much he looks like his brother, yet Luo Binghe meets his eyes without any glimmer of fear or discomfort–-and clasps hands with Shen Yuan.

If his grip is a little tight, that’s between the two of them.

“How very kind of you to say,” Luo Binghe inclines his head, the perfect picture of gratitude for well wishes, so long as one can’t feel the strength of his grip, or see the pinpricks of his pupils-–contracted and intent.

“Excellent energy,” praises Lao Gongzhu’s voice in Shen Yuan’s ear, and it jolts him out of the fight-or-flight panic of the moment, back into the real world. This young man before him... he’s no real threat to Shen Yuan, no matter how awkward the energy of this moment is. On the contrary, Shen Yuan must seem absolutely terrifying given what Luo Binghe has been through! Shen Yuan needs to keep this professional, and get through the required shots ASAP so Luo Binghe can get on with finding the love of his life. After all, after this meeting their chats won’t be really mandated. They’ll need to talk once or twice, but in theory it’s supposed to be up to Luo Binghe when he seeks advice from the host! Shen Yuan just has to show up at the rose ceremonies, provide the ladies with date cards, and do intros and outros!

Qi Qingqi had her moment, and her explosive breakup, and her future still ahead of her. Now it's Luo Binghe’s time to be the hero of the story, the center of focus, the protagonist who steals the hearts of the nation!

I’ll make this as painless as I can for you, protagonist! He promises Luo Binghe in his mind, even as he gestures to the sofa and leads the young man over with a hand on his back.

ON SCREEN

The episode opens with a flashback reel of Luo Binghe as a contestant on the previous year's in Bachelorette-–the hot tea spilling through his short, neat hair, the bullies of the mansion breaking the pendant left to him by his adoptive mother, the well of tears in his dark eyes, the host of the show wrapping both hands around his throat, screaming at the poor youth to “Just die!”

And then, finally, his appearance on After the Final Rose to address it all, his voice echoing over the trailing end of the montage: “I just want a real chance to find love.”

The camera hard cuts to a shot of the morning sky, bright with promise, then swiveles down to Luo Binghe. He stands in front of the Bachelor Mansion, his hair falling about his face, giving his handsomeness a wild, untamed aura. It’s the first shot of him as he is now, his face leaner, his shoulders broader, his smile twisted and wry rather than sweet and open.

“I want a real chance,” his voice repeats, though with a new cadence, not just the same audio from After the Final Rose.

“Everyone would agree you deserve it,” answers someone new in a low, gentle tone.

The camera cuts again, to the last shot of Shen Jiu from the previous season, being hauled away by security guards still screaming, then fades in on the new host of the bachelor, standing with his back to the camera. He’s visibly anxious, fidgeting with the corners of a note card, turning it over and over before setting it aside.

The door opens behind him. He turns, and the resemblance between him and Shen Jiu is immediate-–the same dark phoenix eyes, the same thin, pale lips, the same sharp cheekbones. But the glasses, the softness of his expression, the way his face morphs in open, blatant surprise...those are all new.

“Binghe,” he gasps, a hand lifting to his chest, fingertips against his heartbeat.

“The Bachelor” scrawls itself across the screen, zooming out and away from the moment, back above the bachelor mansion, trailing sparks against the screen to make way for the first commercial break.

It’s a strange opening, and the editing continues to be unusual. On returning from commercial, the camera returns to the room where the Shen Jiu look alike had just gasped out the Bachelor’s name. They’re sitting together now, Luo Binghe on the sofa, and the new host to the side in an armchair.

“You seemed surprised to see me,” Luo Binghe notes, his new wry smile firmly fixed on his lips.

“I certainly hope I wasn’t a surprise for you,” the host answers, looking rather like he’d like to crawl out of his own skin.

“No, they warned me in advance that you look like your brother.”

“You’re alright with that?” Shen Jiu’s brother probes. “I’m meant to be your rock in a tumultuous period of self-discovery and emotional vulnerability. Will you be okay?”

“Oh,” chuckles the bachelor. “I’ll be just fine.”

Finally, the scene changes. The host standing in the lawn of the mansion, walking calmly towards the camera with a rose held in hand.

“Welcome,” Shen Jiu’s brother says, a warm smile on his lips. “I’m Shen Yuan, joining you here on this journey of joy as one man bravely seeks lasting love and connection. Will he find his happy ever after? We’ll find out together here on a new season and a new beginning for: The Bachelor.”

Finally, with far less preamble than usual, the limo exits for the contestants begin, but the mood of the editing remains strange. Three or four women exit, each with their name cards displayed and their job titles present, but with their audio muffled, their earnest, enthusiastic introductions to Luo Binghe playing as background to the continuing conversation.

“Tell me about what you’re looking for,” Shen Yuan’s voice says, as a woman in a lobster costume pretends to pinch her own butt while Luo Binghe gives an awkward laugh.

“What’s anyone looking for?” Luo Binghe replies over his own silenced words of greeting to a woman who’s pressed a red lipstick kiss to his cheek. “Someone who’s just right for me.”

“Of course,” Shen Yuan says as a woman in a shepherdess costume tries to hook her staff around Luo Binghe’s neck and draw him into a kiss, but he neatly dodges and deflects her gently. “But what do you want? You, Luo Binghe.”

Finally, the camera really cuts to the limo exits. A young woman with her long hair in cheerful loops tied with orange ribbons flounces out, a puppy in her arms which she sweetly offers up for pets to Luo Binghe.

“Ning Yingying, Student” reads her title card

“It might just be puppy love to start,” she says cheerfully, “but I think we can help it grow!”

Luo Binghe gives a low, pleased laugh, scratching the fluffy black puppy behind one ear and making it kick in her arms. 

“Honestly?” the Luo Binghe in the voiceover scoffs, low and almost bitter. “I’m not sure. I can only hope I know it when I see it.”

A woman clothed in what appear to be three strips of red fabric rides up on a motorcycle. She’s wild, intense, beautiful. Her outfit leaves nothing to the imagination, but no one could have imagined a better body than the one she’s got.

“Hey, hot stuff,” she greets, looking Luo Binghe up and down. “We all know you cook. Do you like spice?”

“I can,” Luo Binghe agrees.

“Let’s test your tolerance then,” announces the woman who’s title card reads Sha Hualing. Then she bites into a bright red pepper, and drags Luo BInghe into a kiss.

“I understand not being sure,” Shen Yuan’s voice notes. “And it’s good to go into this experience with an open mind. But if you have a dream, or a hope–if there’s something you want above all else, I’m here to try to help you find it.”

Another woman exits the limo, wearing shades of purple, with a veil over the lower half of her face.  ‘Liu Mingyan, Martial Artist’, reads her card.

“Mysterious,” Luo Binghe on the porch notes as she approaches.

“Perhaps for now,” the woman replies, accepting the hand he offers to take the final step up to join him on the porch. “My name is Liu Mingyan. I know you’ll remember.”

“I will,” Binghe replies, and she inclines her head to him and says no more, stepping inside.

“I want something real,” Luo Binghe in the interview answers, low. “Someone who cares. A person I want to cook for every day. Someone who’ll take my heart, and keep it forever.”

There’s a gilded carriage, drawn by two white horses. The woman who comes out of it is younger, closer to Luo Binghe’s age. She primps and preens for a moment, her golden outfit shining in the light, then swans up to Luo Binghe.

“Xiao Gongzhu,” she introduces herself, draping a golden necklace over Luo Binghe’s head. “You’ll be glad I’m here.”

The camera cuts back to the room where Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan are talking. Someone has brought Luo Binghe a rocks glass filled with brown liquid. He’s sipping on it. Shen Yuan has a full glass of wine on the table in front of him. It’s still full.

“I think that’s beautiful,” Shen Yuan says, quietly. “I hope we can find that for you, Binghe.”

“You know, when you say that, I almost believe you,” Luo Binghe replies with a soft chuckle, one hand straying to touch the center of his shirt.

Keen-eyed viewers will remember that he wears a medallion in memory of his mother. Perhaps he had it repaired after the disastrous cruelty of Shen Jiu.

The limo exits continue. The series has one-upped itself from the twins of previous seasons and found triplets to woo Luo Binghe. There are sisters competing for him too. There are girls next door, and bad girls, and business women. Each one trying hard to be remembered.

Qin Wanrong trips on the last step, and Luo Binghe catches her.

“I’m falling for you already,” she laughs, and Luo Binghe gives her a wide smile.

“I want to be here for you,” Qiu Haitang tells him, holding his hands with a hand embroidered handkerchief between their grasps.

“Third times the charm,” whispers the technical youngest of the triplets with a saucy wink that makes her sisters gasp in offense at being outplayed.

Ning Yingying gets the First Impression rose.

“What a group,” Shen Yuan notes as the sequence wraps up, filmed from an angle as Luo Binghe rounds a corner to come speak with him, apparently abruptly enough that the film crews hadn’t gotten in position. “Aren’t they lovely, Binghe?”

“There are certainly a lot of them,” Binghe wryly notes.

Shen Yuan gives a little frown, his brows twisting, then steps closer, putting a hand on Luo Binghe’s arm.

“If you need to take a moment, I can make your excuses at the cocktail party,” he offers in a quiet voice, the mic barely picking him up. “No need to push yourself right away. I know this is a lot of pressure.”

“I’m alright,” Luo Binghe replies, still calm and in control–sounding even a little amused. “But thank you for your concern. I’m ready.”

“You don’t need any help remembering them? I have note cards with all their names and pictures, if you need them for the–”

“I remember,” Luo Binghe insists with a sharp nod. “We can do the rose ceremony now.”

Inside, the cameras have captured shocking amounts of drama. Sha Hualing is at the center of it, so integral that her title card might as well have listed her as ‘Season Villain’. At the moment she’s idly and sneakily cutting bows off the shepherdess costume of the other contestant, displaying her haul to the cameras as she increases her collection, dropping the stolen bows into her empty champagne glass.

When she tries to snip the next one, Liu Mingyan grabs her wrist to stop her, and Ning Yingying gasps in alarm.

There is a lot of screaming in the wake, and some tears. It’s this scene that Shen Yuan walks in on, and the look on his face is enough to make it very clear that this is, indeed, his first season hosting a reality TV show.

“Ladies, ladies!” he calls, flapping the invitation to the rose ceremony at them all. “There’s no need to fight! Luo Binghe, uh… Well, usually he would be joining you all here, but it seems like he’s made some decisions. Why don’t we go join him for the rose ceremony?”

Luo Binghe is charming and calm. He welcomes the ladies, and thanks them all with genuine praise and warmth. He remembers all their names. Ning Yingying already has a rose. The triplets get one each, as do Qin Wanrong and Qin Wanyue. Liu Mingyan nods solemnly when she receives one, and Xiao Gongzhu preens, petting the petals of her rose. Luo Binghe proceeds calmly and warmly, passing out the red roses one after another.

When Sha Hualing gets one, the whole group of women groans aloud.

Finally, only one rose remains on the platter.

“It’s time for the final rose,” Shen Yuan says, his voice an echo of his brothers in a dozen seasons past, but somehow bringing new life to the classic litany. “Binghe… When you’re ready.”

Luo Binghe lifts the final flower, smells it, then turns away from the women, making the cameras lurch to follow him. He steps in close to Shen Yuan, rests one hand on the center of his chest, and slowly slides the rose into his lapel.

“You can stay too,” he murmurs to the host, a small smile on his lips.

Behind him all the losing women burst into wailing tears. But in front of him, Shen Yuan’s mouth falls open, leaving him looking very young, sweet and stunned. When Luo Binghe draws back, smiling, Shen Yuan lifts a hand to touch the flower.

As the credits play, there’s footage of Xiao Gongzhu informing Sha Hualing that she was given a nicer rose, and that the order didn’t matter half as much as the way Luo Binghe said their names.

Qiu Haitang, clearly quite drunk, asks the triplets whether they’re hoping Luo Binghe has “a thing for incest”, and then seems alarmed and confused when they’re upset by the question.

Ning Yingying tapes a picture of her little puppy to the wall above her bed in the bachelor mansion, and pats its head a couple of times.

Liu Mingyan is filmed in the sunset out back of the mansion, stretching through a yoga routine with a serene look on her face–or at least, what part of her face is visible.

Finally, offscreen but mic-ed, the audience hears:

“Binghe… Even if you had ulterior motives today and wanted to send more of the girls home… Thank you for this. It means a lot to me that you’re alright with me being here.”

“Of course I’m alright with it. You’re my guide to the world of love, aren't you? I'm sure you have so much to teach me. Should I call you Shizun, Shen Yuan?”

“Hah! Ah, there’s no need for that. I’m just… Very glad that you’re doing okay. Why don’t we make sure you get something to eat–they’ve been bringing us drinks all night.”

“Is that an invitation? I'll accept if you're buying, Shizun.”

Coming Up On: The Bachelor

An image of blood on knuckles and a woman screaming: “You liar!”  Sha Hualing in a swimsuit so scandalous it’s blurred. Luo Binghe’s voice: “I’m just not sure you’re here for the right reasons.” over Qin Wanrong crying. Shen Yuan running across the lawn, the cameras shaking to follow him, calling: “Binghe!”

Ning Yingying sobbing in her bed. Liu Mingyan, wiping tears from her eyes, rasping: “Turn the cameras off.” Sha Hualing staring wide-eyed into the camera, her bright red lips parted softly.

“I don’t care what it takes,” Luo Binghe says, his eyes intense and gleaming in candlelight. “I’ve found love. I’m not letting it go.”

BACHELOR NATION ONLINE

@roseacceptor9000 That entire ‘what do you want, binghe?’ conversation had me GRIPPING my merlot. This beautiful gorgeous man better find true love this season or #alltherightreasons is DEAD

@dontfwithjiu I’M SO GLAD BINGHE IS BACK I lowkey felt so bad the way that all that went down on tbette 😭

@yaowie wait omfg i know i’m not fujoing out over The Bachelor???? Am I the only one seeing this like 

@roseacceptor9000 DYINGGGGG AT THE TEASER ALL THE GIRLS THIS SEASON ARE SO HOT / BINGHE IS SO HOT / DRAMAAAAAAA 

@gabbywindeyilu #bachelornation #qqqette okay but have yall heard about qi qingqi getting papped in mykonos holding hands with another women??? Like glad she’s having fun after the breakup but is she…? 👀👀👀👀

@bingheslefttit BIGHE OMG ITS MY BOY HES BACK RBVFCDS

@usernamewhatusername k but,, the way lbh was staring at sy the whole episode,,, 

       @usernamewhatusername im not sure that rose was just for show just sayin

              @roseacceptor9000 @usernamewhatusername could totally be a network thing, bet they made him do it to show that he’s forgiven the producers/jiu when he totally shouldn’t 

@wtfisthis idk i’m not sure on this shen yuan guy. I don’t trust anyone related to shen jiu

       @BachelorBuddy, @wtfisthis +1, any thing to do with Jiu is suss as hell

@Millie96555427289 HI GORGEOUS, IM LONELY, ALL MY FRIENDS GET SPECIAL PICTURES! 

@rosesaregay: giving a man a rose? GAYYYYYYYYYY

@shenjiuciesthost: Did they think replacing Shen Jiu with the cheap walmart knockoff would fool anyone? And now Binghe is going after his brother? Wish security had let him finish the job 🤮

@airplaneshooting I need a drink. No one in that house has the ~emotional intelligence~ for this shit, and neither do I!

Chapter Text

Off Camera

His phone buzzing doesn’t wake him—he’s been awake for a while now, staring up at the ceiling of his trailer. He’s actually far enough away from Bachelor Mansion that there would have to be literal fireworks over there to wake him, but it looms in his mind so loudly he can’t rest.

When he’d briefly slept, he’d had confusing dreams, doors in doors, glaring cameras, a voice in his ear telling him ‘just one more’, and the inescapable feeling that he could not keep up.

He lifts his phone with no hope of it not being what he fears.

A call time update—he needs to be on set by 7 today—but that’s only one of the half-dozen pings that had dragged his arm out from under the blankets.

He doesn’t open the chat with Shen Jiu. The previews of the messages are enough.

5:14  “You never listen, yo—

5:14  “They’re going to eat—

5:15  “That beast isn’t wor—

5:15  “When are you going t—

5:17  “Stupid bleeding hear—

5:20  “Don’t drink what the—”

Shen Yuan closes them all unread and opens his encrypted text app with Yue Qingyuan from the last time he worked with Cang Qiong Productions.

“Shen Jiu got his phone back. Better take it before he starts texting journalists instead of me.”

He drops his hand heavily back to the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Back at home, he might be looking out the window by his bed, watching the dwindling stars. Back at home, his automatic coffee machine would merrily crank up to welcome him to the world of the living, though to be fair to this shitty little trailer, that wouldn’t happen for another few hours even if Shen Yuan had been at home.

Ping, says his phone, and he lifts it without conscious thought, staring blurrily at the thumbs up emoji Yue Qingyuan has sent him.

He should have stayed out of this. He should have let Shen Jiu burn himself down.

Shen Yuan groans, rolls over, and buries his face in his pillows. He’s immediately reminded of meimei’s latest highschool tragedy, where she’d flung herself face-down on her bed and only unearthed herself when he’d brought her boba and one of her horrifying BLs.

“You’re such a good brother,” his mother had praised him after, ruffling his hair.

“Stupid Shen Jiu,” he mutters to himself, then curls up tighter, haunted by a memory of fierce, grasping, vicious hands first guarding him from danger, then over and over pushing him away. 

“...Stupid Shen Yuan,” he mutters to himself as well, muffling the words in his thin pillow.

It smells a little musty. Ugh.

He technically has a coffee maker in his room—one of the tragic single-cup brewers you’d find in a motel—but he knows the crew will have the real caffeine hookup. And besides, he’ll need to find crafty if he’s going to scrounge up some breakfast. He never got as big into media as Shen Jiu did, but he knows his way around the block.

It’s possible, he considers, that being the host is a big enough position that he could send a gopher to pick him up real food that hasn’t been sitting out on a table to be picked over by AV crew, production teams, and any bored contestants who wandered away from the cast area.

He opens the door one-handed, rubbing the other over his face, then freezes in place.

There’s a woman outside his trailer. She’s not a member of the crew. No member of the crew would wear heels like that, designer clothes, and a full face of makeup at 5:40 in the morning.

“You don’t recognize me, do you?” she says, her voice shaking a little.

“Have you been waiting outside my trailer?” Shen Yuan asks this woman who is clearly, clearly one of Luo Binghe’s suitors.

“You didn’t react at all at the rose ceremony,” the woman continues. “You didn’t even look at me.”

“I mean, you’re here for Binghe,” Shen Yuan says hopelessly, glancing around.

The lot is empty. "Dark and early,” laughs the voice of Lao Gongzhu in his memory. “Getting an early start,” he’d said. “I knew you would!”

Apparently he’s not the only one.

“I am,” says the woman in the dark. “Because I understand exactly how he’s been hurt. I know just what it’s like to be stabbed in the back by someone who should have taken care of you.”

Oh shit. Fuck. Shit. No wonder he didn’t recognize her. Her sharp eyeliner and fierce contouring have hidden away the baby-faced girl Shen Yuan remembers, but there’s no doubting it’s her.

He should have studied those notecards he had printed out for Binghe himself. Then this wouldn’t be blindsiding him.

“You're that Qiu girl,” he whispers, fighting the urge to step back into his trailer, lock the door, and wait for the show to be over and someone to hitch it up and drive it away. Haitang, he remembers, and with that thought he remembers Shen Jiu, staring at flower blossoms with something sick in his eyes.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Qiu Haitang hisses. “Haven’t you people hurt him enough? Do you think you can just slap a bandaid on everything your brother does and pretend that evens things out?”

“I’m not pretending anything,” Shen Yuan objects, even as his stomach roils.

Setup, screams something in the back of his head. Setup, setup, setup, everything here is a setup.

“There are no secrets,” Shen Jiu’s voice hisses in his memory.

“I know you know something,” Qiu Haitang is accusing, striding forward. “I know Shen Jiu did more than we saw. I know he did something to my brother, Shen Yuan!”

“Unless you have control of the editing…” Shen Jiu warns.

“Miss Haitang, I think you’re confused,” Shen Yuan assures past the thick clog in his throat, summoning up his winning smile. “Shen Jiu and I aren’t close. He’s never shared any secrets with me.”

If he’d stolen some of them, and worked others out for himself, that was between him and nobody.

“I think we should get you back to the mansion,” he adds. “I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.”

“Was that a threat?” Qiu Haitang gasps, recoiling from him.

“What? No.” Fuck, his hands are shaking. He’d halfway reached out to comfort her, but he quickly shoves both palms into his pockets—still cozy cargo shorts, until he has to get suited up for work. “No. Just… I think we’ll both feel better with some breakfast and coffee, right?”

“I’m not going to fall for your shit,” she hisses, her fists clenching, knuckles white. “You’re not nearly as good at lying as your brother.”

Then she stalks off, back towards the unlit mansion.

Shen Yuan stands in the doorway to his trailer, watching her go. He hasn’t seen her since the courtroom, all those years ago, clinging to Shen Jiu’s sleeve and sobbing, while the brother he’d just met stared straight ahead, saying nothing.

“You’re supposed to stay with me!” she’d been crying then. “You’re supposed to love me!”

…Can Shen Yuan get away with advising Luo Binghe not to tie himself to someone so uninterested in having her feelings returned? Probably not. Judging by their interactions so far and Luo Binghe’s past with Shen Jiu, he’d likely actively work against Shen Yuan’s advice. Who could blame him?

Cameras Rolling

“Shizun,” a low voice greets.

“Binghe!” Shen Yuan calls, one hand lifting to cover his face so The Bachelor himself won’t see the pop tart crumbs no doubt dusting his lips. “You’re here early!”

The sun still isn’t up, but the flood lights make it seem less early than it really is. The world is awash in predawn gray, but the production is drowning in golden light.

“Sunrise shoot, I assume,” Luo Binghe notes, brushing one hand back through his hair, which somehow looks better after he ruffles it, instead of falling messily out from behind his ear like Shen Yuan’s would.

“Probably,” Shen Yuan agrees with a chuckle, brusquely swiping at his mouth with a cheap paper napkin. “Very romantic lighting.”

“Pop tarts?” Luo Binghe asks rather than continuing their conversation, plucking up the box Shen Yuan had lifted the sweet treats from and turning it back and forth. “Offbrand, even. Hardly a worthy meal.”

“Paired with the mini slim jims and it’s basically a complete and balanced breakfast,” jokes Shen Yuan, then screams inside to keep himself from losing the mild smile on his face.

Once, Luo Binghe had given a little speech about breakfast, during Qi Qingqi’s season. He’d been cooking for her, speaking quietly about the value of good food, made with intention and care, served without any expectation, but instead with the hope it will give the person strength for the day ahead.

Then he had ‘accidentally’ tripped while carrying the breakfast tray past Shen Jiu and towards the bachelorette.

Shen Yuan takes another half step away from him, clearing his throat and fiddling with the sleeves of his button-down shirt. He hadn’t put on cufflinks, and he sort of wishes he had. It would give him something to do other than just button and unbutton the cuffs.

“Did you end up finding a nice place for dinner last night?” Shen Yuan asks awkwardly, trying not to let himself shy away from the memory of Lao Gongzhu whisking Binghe away right after the young Bachelor had joked about dining together.

“Passable,” Luo Binghe notes, eyes flickering down to Shen Yuan’s wrists before dragging back up to him with a wry half-smile. “The company could have used improvement.”

Shen Yuan sucks in a breath and steps closer again, lifting an arm to clap Luo Binghe’s shoulder before pulling away at the last moment, remembering that there’s good reason not to risk touching this young man, when his brother had been so cruel to him.

“Shizun?” Luo Binghe asks, not backing up, but definitely stiffening.

“Just… Careful,” Shen Yuan whispers. “There’s mics everywhere, and people are loyal to their paychecks.”

“Ah,” Luo Binghe glances left then right, before leaning in slowly. “Shizun should be careful too,” he whispers, clasping one of Shen Yuan’s wrists in his broad hand and drawing his palm to his waist.

Shen Yuan freezes in place, his eyes wide, his breath hitching in his lungs, as Luo Binghe guides his hand to his hip, and then past it, around to—

Oh. Oh, his mic pack. He’s miked.

Luo Binghe releases his wrist, and Shen Yuan draws back, holding perfectly still to keep from rubbing his wrist. He’s breathing quick and shallow, staring up at where Luo Binghe has leaned down into him. The Bachelor’s eyes are dark and wild, dangerous. He gives a brief grin, sharp teeth glinting, then straightens.

“You should probably have something more filling,” Luo Binghe notes, his tone even and almost chipper, as if none of that had happened. “If today goes like last season, most of us ‘talent’ will be having a liquid lunch today.”

He winks, waves, then walks away. He’s the epitome of everything masculinity should be—broad and elegant, with a hint of the wilderness about him. His hand had been so strong, where he’d gripped Shen Yuan. He hadn’t squeezed down, but there had been an effortlessness to his grip.

He smelled…

(Dangerous, this is dangerous, think about something else)

Shen Yuan grabs two more fistfuls of mini slim jims and shoves them in his suit pockets. He’s going to have to stand in the same room as Qiu Haitang and Luo Binghe, and he’s going to smile at a camera like nothing has ever been wrong.

The mousy guy from Frozen Kingdom is staring at him from across the room. Shen Yuan picks up his latte (the crew had, indeed, known how to get better coffee) and swiftly hightails it to the lawn outside Bachelor mansion to get his script for the first shoot of the day.

Never too early to get started.

On Screen

The opening credits roll out a welcome matt to the gathered fans, scrawling The Bachelor across the beautiful facade of the mansion. The camera pans down away from the sunrise, where the pink and gold clouds crown the Bachelor Mansion. On the lawn, new host Shen Yuan waits, hands in his pockets and a warm smile on his face.

“Welcome back, and thank you for joining us,” Shen Yuan greets, striding easily closer to the camera as the pan concludes. “Last week we met the twenty nine young ladies hoping to win the affections of Luo Binghe, our Bachelor.”

A sweeping drone shot of Luo Binghe caught in the sunrise. His shirt is a little undone, and his hair falls into his eyes as he gazes up quietly towards the sky. His lips tug upwards in a smile, then settle into solemnity again. His hand lifts to touch the base of his throat, and a cutaway shows the jade pendant he used to wear there. The camera cuts to a shot of it broken on the floor from the previous season before returning to the vision of Binghe, the sunrise shining in his dark eyes.

“Of course, love, like chemistry, has some combinations that just don’t work.”

A smash cut selection of women crying the night before.

“And Luo Binghe is a new kind of bachelor, for the new era of our show.”

Flashback to Luo Binghe handing Shen Yuan a rose, smiling, as the host takes it carefully in both hands. With the footage slowed and softened, the audience can see how Shen Yuan’s eyes flick from rose, to Binghe, to rose again.

“Today, as Binghe embarks on his journey, will he find the love he's been searching for in one of the beautiful women here on this season of—”

“Cut!” calls a voice off camera, breaking the illusion of the intro. The camera dips, and Shen Yuan’s easy smile does as well, turning confused. It's the sort of slipup that usually only makes it to air in the credits.

“Sorry, did I mess up?” Shen Yuan asks, gently awkward and apologetic.

“Not a big deal, you just called him ‘Binghe’ again,” one assistant answers, and a few voices chuckle offscreen.

“Oh my god, not again.” Shen Yuan mutters, lifting a hand to wipe his face then yanking it away swiftly as a makeup woman comes over to thwack at his wrist. There’s more good-natured chuckling from the crew. “What are you—Don’t write on poor Zhuzhi’s forehead! I wouldn’t be able to see it behind the camera anyway! I’ll remember, I’ll remember!”

The camera cuts to an interview—the first proper interview shot we’ve seen so far in the show. Luo Binghe sits in front of the camera with a bored look on his face, looking down at his fingernails. He picks at one of them with a little pout.

“What do you think of our new host?” an affable older voice asks him.

“Shen Yuan?” Luo Binghe asks, lifting his brows and glancing up at the camera. “Well. Don’t you think how much the crew loves him speaks for itself? I haven’t seen him scream at any gaffers, so it must not run in the family.”

A raspy laugh answers him, but Luo Binghe’s answering smile is stiff and restrained.

“Aren’t you supposed to be asking about my love life?” prompts the Bachelor. “If you were really worried about my reaction, surely you could have hired someone else.”

“Oh, you know us at the Bachelor,” the interviewer says. “We like to keep things in the family.”

A swift cut back to the front lawn. “I’ll get it this time, I’ll get it!” Shen Yuan is promising, hands up as he grins into the camera. “We’ve got a whole host of young women for Luo Binghe to impress, we don’t want to keep them waiting!”

Swiftly transitioning to a view inside the bachelor mansion, a view shows Liu Mingyan, fully dressed and ready. She's standing with a cup of coffee, gazing out the window at the front lawn. Behind her, countless other women in various of pajamas, from adorable to scandalous, are filtering in to peek.

“Oh, is that Yuan-di?” Ning Yingying chirps blearily, rubbing at her eyes. Her deer onesy's antlers wobble charmingly. “Hard to believe he’s related to Shen Jiu, right?”

“Not that hard,” grumbles Qiu Haitang.

“You know Shen Jiu?” asks Liu Mingyan, her eyes cutting over to Ning Yingying without the rest of her easy pose shifting in the slightest.

“Mmhmm! He was my teacher for a while!” Ning Yingying sings happily. “I was kind of looking forward to seeing him again…Do you think he’ll visit the set?”

“Definitely not,” Qin Wanyue notes with a lifted brow. “Did you not watch Qi Qingqi’s season?”

“No, I never watch the bachelorette,” Ning Yingying notes primly. “And then when A-Luo got chosen it felt sort of like spying on him to watch it, don’t you think?”

“Oh, you sweet summer child,” Sha Hualing coos, sauntering up to ruffle Ning Yingying’s hair, her sheer red bathrobe all but dripping off her.

“Stop that,” Liu Mingyan commands, turning her eyes back out to the yard again. “Shen Jiu is not a good man, Yingying. It’s good he won’t be here.”

“Aw,” the sunshine woman replies, pouting. “Well, I’m sure his brother is fun to play with too!”

“To play with?” Sha Hualing repeats with an arched brow and a wicked smile. “My my my, Yingying, I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“You need to walk away,” Liu Mingyan states firmly, shifting at last to place herself between the gorgeous villain and the sweet wifey.

“So scary, so scary,” Sha Hualing simpers, swanning away to pour herself some coffee.

“Can’t we all just be friends?” Qin Wanrong mutters, pouting as she watches the kerfuffle.

“Not if the producers have anything to say about it,” one of the triplets whispers, barely caught on the mic, and her two sisters snicker in answer.

“Welcome,” Shen Yuan proclaims as the camera cuts back to him out on the field, “to The Bachelor!”

By the time Shen Yuan enters the mansion that morning, all of the women are dressed and ready, eagerly watching him. The card in his hands is written in an elegant script, and his smile as he greets them is even and sweet.

“Ladies,” he gives a shallow bow. “It’s nice to finally meet you officially, I know last night’s rose ceremony arrived before we had a chance to chat. I’m Shen Yuan, the host and Luo Binghe’s advisor for this season, but if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to let me know.”

The camera cuts to the reactions of several women in sequence. Ning Yingying's beaming smile beside the tense lock-jawed grimace of Qiu Haitang. Liu Mingyan inclining her head, and Sha Hualing lifting a hand in the air like an eager student and wiggling her red tipped nails. Shen Yuan gestures magnanamously to her.

“What about if we ask you to rig the game in our favor?” she purrs, red lips curving in a wicked smile. “Are you bribable, Shen-gege?”

Shen Yuan turns so pink no makeup could cover it. He stutters, shakes his head, then waves his hand in front of his face.

“Absolutely not, no no no,” he objects. “And besides, what game? This experience is about finding love, not winning a prize!”

“Isn't there a prize, though?" Sha Hualing tilts her head, one finger coming to her lips, red on red. "That Binghe is a lovely cut of meat, don’t you think?”

“GROUP DATE,” Shen Yuan announces loudly, wide eyes and a expression shell-shocked.

A behind the scenes interview segment with Sha Hualing starts up. She’s lounging on a chair, wearing a leather jacket and not much else. Her eyes are distant, and she's fiddling with one of her braids.

“The people this season,” she notes, a dreamy look on her face, “aren’t they too fun to mess with? Did you stack the deck just so I could have fun?”

The group date card contains roughly half the women in the house. Sha Hualing, Ning Yingying, Qin Wanrong, Liu Mingyan, and the triplets are the only ones the camera actually bothers to cut to as their names are read out. It’s not hard to guess who’s going to give an interesting performance on this particular outing.

"Come meet me where dreams are made," reads Shen Yuan, who seems to have recovered both his equillibrium and pallor.

The camera cuts to Qin Wanrong's interview. "My first thought is, whoa! That's so forward! Because, like," she leans forward and whispers to the camera: "You make dreams in bed!"

"It's like, where dreams are made, that sounds so romantic!" Ning Yingying chirps in her interview. "And I'm like whoa!, y'know? A-Luo's got, like, feelings!"

The camera cuts, shockingly, not to a bed, but instead to the striped canvas of a big-top tent. It zooms and circles, swooping and curling around swinging acrobats, a firebreather, and finally a clow throwing a handful of rose petals at the camera. The rose petals transition straight into Luo Binghe, awaiting the girls on a pedestal in the center of the circus's ring. He's wearing a tight black vest, but is otherwise shirtless and sparkling as though encrusted with glitter. Flames rise from either side of him as he lifts his arms, a wry grin on his face, before he leaps. The women gasp as he tumbles the short distance to the ground, landing neatly on his feet before them. Scattered applause rises from them.

“Hello everyone,” Luo Binghe says, cheerful and collected as if he hadn’t just somersaulted a solid seven feet to the floor. “Thank you for joining me. The circus is all about bringing dreams to life, so today I’d like to challenge you all to show me something about you. Show me your dreams in a performance—I promise I’ll show you mine too.”

Some of the women look thrilled, but many are more uncertain. There’s nerves and shuffling. Sha Hualing slides up to whisper something in Luo Binghe’s ear, and he laughs, shaking his head at her. Ning Yingying is already trotting over to inspect one of the dangling hoops hanging from the ceiling for their use in performance planning. Qin Wanrong looks very anxious.

Luo Binghe steps aside to let the women plan, but the camera catches him standing off to the side, a pensive look on his face, his hand over his heart, rubbing his thumb back and forth.

The performances, done in front of Luo Binghe and a small audience made up of the circus performers who’d helped the women design their mini acts are unilaterally clumsy and awkward, but they certainly are unique. 

The triplets, with what looks like long practice, form a human pyramid, but have no real follow up to that, and then have a brief argument about whether they should do it again with someone else getting a turn on top.

"Like, what was that?" scoffs Sha Hualing. Her interview position has degraded to her lying across the chair rather than sitting in it, snickering. "It was like watching cheerleader tryouts all over. You're not winning, girls! Go home!"

Back in the tent, Sha Hualing takes the opportunity to perform a combination strip tease and lap dance, tacked onto the end of a single summersault, which was her only nod to the pretense of the circus at all.

"We hate her," the twins state in unison in their behind the scenes interview.

Ning Yingying’s performance is of particular note, not because of her skill, but because of her joy. She grabs Luo Binghe out of the audience, pulls him up onto the trappeze with her, and laughs wildly while they swing together. It isn’t a performance at all, but the expressions of the other women sour deeply at the cheerful display.

"She just grabbed him!" one contestant whose namecard identifies her as 'Sacred Flower Maiden' hisses in a behind the scenes interview. "Like, is that allowed!?"

Liu Mingyan, effortlessly graceful, appears to have actually done some circus work before, as she succeeds in a simple series of climbs and poses in the draping aerial silks. The flowing ribbons add to her mysterious allure, even though their bright blue clashes with the soft purple of her veil.

Qin Wanrong, who has been anxious and uncertain the whole time, takes a deep breath, tries her best to implement the simple summersault she’d been practicing with her circus trainer. She twists on the landing and goes down with a yelp, gripping her ankle with both hands and clenching her eyes shut.

Luo Binghe hurries forward to help her. When she can't put weight on her leg, he supports her on his shoulder.

“Oh no," Qin Wanrong says, her voice thick with tears. "I already used my ‘I'm falling for you’ line at the limo. Can I try again?”

“I think you’d better sit this one out,” Luo Binghe says, but he rubs her shoulder, sitting down beside her, and offers her a handkerchief when she can’t help but let a few tears escape.

“Shit,” Sha Hualing of the interview says, sneering. “She totally won. I should have tried breaking my leg.”

Qin Wanrong gets the group date rose. Luo Binghe even carries her back to the limo after, though when the car arrives at the mansion she appears to only barely be limping, and looks a little smug.

“I heard someone got hurt,” a worried Shen Yuan is captured saying, his voice a little muffled, as if he’s being heard through the wrong microphone. The camera blurrs and refocuses, zooming in through an open doorway. Shen Yuan's glasses are shoved back in his hair, and he's looking a little frazzled—not the put together young host that's usually seen. “Are you alright, Binghe? Ah, that is, Luo—”

“Just Binghe is fine,” the bachelor replies, his bright grin on full display. “And I'm just fine, Shizun. One of the Qin sisters sprained her ankle, but she’s recovering well.”

“I think it was Wanrong on the date today,” Shen Yuan provides, and Luo Binghe nods. “It’s not serious? Did one of the medical crew check her out?”

“Is that all Shizun wants to talk about? What if I came to ask advice?”

“Oh! Sorry. Of course. What can I help you with?”

“Do you think I’m doing a good job so far?” the young man asks cheekily, a wicked smile on his face, clearly aware that he’s being ridiculous.

Shen Yuan, however, adopts a thoughtful pose, carefully considering the question.

“I worry that Binghe’s being too cavalier with himself and his future." he answers finally. "Last night you made your choice without even really talking to some of the women aside from their first impressions, and while I know it’s a lot of pressure, there might be more to learn before making a decision, don’t you think? Not to mention the ladies might appreciate feeling like they had a fair chance. However, overall, of course Binghe has been considerate, charming, and a perfect gentleman. It’s clear to everyone you were the very best choice for the role.”

Luo Binghe is watching him eagerly, nodding every few words. His entertained smile only grows, showing a glimpse of teeth, on the border of breaking into a grin.

“Thanking Shizun for the insight,” he says. “Would you please deliver a one-on-one request to Qiu Haitang?”

“Ah,” Shen Yuan says, swallowing. “Yes.”

“Don’t think you’re fooling everybody with that ‘sweetheart idiot’ act,” hisses Qiu Haitang, loud and clear enough not just for all the microphones, but for multiple women to cut glances their way, reactions captured on camera.

“I’m just here to deliver his date card, Miss Haitang,” Shen Yuan says, still holding it out to her.

“Don’t call me that,” Qiu Haitang spits, but she takes the card gently in both hands, holding it close to her chest.

“Of course,” Shen Yuan agrees, inclining his head.

“What’s A-Tang’s problem with Yuan-di?” Ning Yingying is wondering in her behind the scenes. “Honestly, he’s so sweet! I don’t understand what’s going on there at all… If anyone has an issue with someone, shouldn’t it be with Xiao Gongzhu?”

"Not Sha Hualing?" prompts an off-screen voice.

"Oh, she's fine," Ning Yingying scoffs, waving a hand.

“Something fishy is going on here,” Liu Mingyan tells the camera directly, her intense eyes fixed and her posture straight and calm. “I don’t appreciate being played with.”

Luo Binghe is waiting for Qiu Haitang next to a hot air balloon. He offers her a hand and a warm smile, then ushers her up into the sky. Qiu Haitang stays close to him, wrapped in his arms, eyeing the drop nervously, but neither of them look too unhappy about that turn of events.

“You could tell me anything,” Qiu Haitang tells him, her voice gentle and warm. “I would listen, and I would believe you.”

“I can’t tell you how much that means to me,” Luo Binghe tells her, voice low and soft, but rather than telling her his worries he bends her into a gentle kiss, the camera swirling out around them.

After their hot air balloon ride, there’s a table laden with champagne. Luo Binghe pours for them both, and toasts to the future and whatever it holds. The camera cuts back to the bachelor mansion where Shen Yuan rather sheepishly delivers another group date card. This time it's Xiao Gongzhu who reads it. "We're on course to affection!" The expression her face grows increasingly ugly as she reads name after name without ever reaching her own.

Sha Hualing, drinking, taunts the women who weren't invited on dates at all, though she doesn't even ahve to say anything for Xiao Gongzhu to throw the date card on the floor of the mansion and shove bodily past Shen Yuan out of the room. Qin Wanyue, who was invited to this date, casts jealous glances at her sister, who’s sitting with her twisted ankle propped up on a pillow with an ice pack resting on top.

The next group date turns out to be a field day of sorts. There’s a ‘first kiss’ race where they sprint towards Luo Binghe, which almost ends with the poor bachelor trampled. There’s a ‘jump for love’ long jump that leads to many girls whining about the dust on their fancy track uniforms and in their hair. There’s an entirely underwhelming game of flag football.

No one shines. This date's lineup consists mostly of women who haven't had an on-screen appearance since limo exits, and despite their cuthroat battle for supremicy, they still don't leave much of an impression.

Luo Binghe looks entirely pleasant and friendly through it all. Qin Wanyue looks sick when he gives the rose to someone else at the end of the game instead of to her.

The field day group date dead ends directly into the cocktail party. It’s themed like a 1920s speakeasy, just for the fun of dressing everyone up. The drinks are flowing, and the women are taking turns stealing Luo Binghe away.

“I’ll take advice if it’s good,” he tells the camera with a saucy wink when his interviewer asks about him agreeing to the cocktail party this time.

The conversations are short and shallow. All the women are beautiful, and Luo Binghe tells them so. They all think he’s gorgeous in return. Qiu Haitang asks if he’d like to talk, and he says “Not yet,” softly as he brushes her hair behind her ear. Sha Hualing pulls him away not long after, only to ask to compare whose tongue is longer with a saucy smirk.

Liu Mingyan is seen tapping Shen Yuan’s shoulder and gesturing to him, but Shen Yuan only gives her a quick smile and excuses himself further away from the gathering. When he returns, it’s with a tray of roses and an invitation to join him in the garden.

All the women are present, though Qiu Haitang and Qin Wanrong already have their roses and stand to the side. The atmosphere is tense and hushed, the tense music that always plays over such ceremonies seems strange, somehow. Like the quality of the recording—the tone of it—isn't quite matching the execution-squad style of the lineup.

Luo Binghe awards roses with the gravitas of a king bestowing accolades. He gives each of the women kind words as he chooses them. Ning Yingying first, then Sha Hualing, Liu Mingyan, the Triplets, Xiao Gongzhu (who's interview the camera cuts to for the first time where she growls "Finally!"). Qin Wanyue weeps when he presses one into her hands, making many of the women with less screentime roll their eyes.

“There’s only one more rose to give, and four more beautiful women here to win your love” Shen Yuan notes at last, offering the tray up to Luo Binghe. “Who will you choose?”

“Isn’t it obvious, Shizun?” Luo Binghe asks, lifting the rose and casting him a wry smile before leaning forward and tucking the rose into his lapel again, patting it a couple of times. “Thank you for your indispensable council.”

There’s a round of wailing from the four rejects, but the camera is more interested in the way the women with roses react—narrowed eyes to wide ones, interest to distaste, and bright laughter in the case of Ning Yingying.

The show starts transitioning to the ending credits, but rather than leaping directly into a 'Next Time' teaser, Shen Yuan's voice filters in over EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: LAO GONGZHU, asking:

“You don’t think that was a little cruel?”

“Some of the women were a little cruel to Shizun today, I heard,” Luo Binghe notes. “The crew let me know. I wanted to make sure you knew you're wanted here. Needed here.”

“Oh. Well… Thank you, then, Binghe. I think the ladies are having their toast now, if you'd like to join them.”

“Thank you, Shizun, but I’ve had enough of drinking for today. Have you eaten?”

“Well, no, but I do have—”

The camera cuts from the ladies celebration, which has continued behind the rolling credits, to Shen Yuan passing out mini slim jims to a que of inebriated women like a one-man vending machine.

“You just had them in your pockets all day?” Luo Binghe asks.

“Every day,” Shen Yuan agrees cheerfully. “Why do you think the crew likes me?”

“It’s not because of the treats, Mr. Shen!” objects a voice from behind the camera.

“It’s because of those juicy reaction shots!” agrees someone else to the right. Sen Yuan tilts his head to shoot a withering glare towards the camera, and laughter answers the look. “Yeah like that one! If we cut out the slim jims we could make it look like you were planning murder, bro!”

“Oh shut up, Qinghua,” Shen Yuan grumbles, and holds out his fistful of miniature preserved meat sticks to the bachelor himself. 

Luo Binghe delicately plucks one up, as though he’s afraid it will bite him, and tucks it into his shirt pocket.

Bachelor Nation Online

@Rosesaregay: If I gave you a rose would you give me your pocket slimjims and your most withering glare?

@terminallyonline: are they setting up the host to be the next bachelor? because it feels like that’s what they’re doing

@roseacceptor9000: Liu Mingyan with the aerial acrobatics and the winner’s edit???? Can’t wait for the wedding special. Their kids will be beautiful AND talented. 

@usernamewhatusername: K BUT REALLY,,THE WAY LBH STARED AT SY,,,THE WHOLE EPISODE???

@shenjuicesthost: God everyone is too nice, this show is barely worth watching except if the producers have any brains they’re bringing Shen Jiu back for a round 2 with Binghe. 

      @BachelorBuddy: I know we're all here for the drama, but did you MISS that he tried to K-WORD Binghe?!

@steponmemommy5569: Sha Hualing is the anarchist we deserve in these trying times 🙏🙏🙏

@yaowie: rocking back and forth oomfies calling me crazy but I’m not crazy, they’re crazy for not seeing that there is something very gay going down on the bachelor. it’s not a publicity stunt, it’s real and they are in love and I can prove it, thread (1/41)

@airplaneshooting: Am I crazy or is this season getting the weirdest most broken edit of all time? How come I'm hearing camera people? Where's Xiao Gongzhu in, like, 90% of the episode? Yingying straight up called her the villain of the house, so, like, where is that? In the episode???