Archive of Our Own ^beta

Cady’s at her locker, fingers fumbling as she twists her combination wrong for the second time in a row. She wants to throw her arms up in the air and scream.

But that’s only acceptable in the middle of the savanna, surrounded by other wild creatures… not in the halls of Northshore High.

Right now, the moving throngs of students remind her of a stampede of wildebeests, except confined to a much smaller space. It’s noisy, overstimulating, and Cady just wants to disappear.

Right now, she’s trying to weigh her options. Does she tell Regina that she isn’t feeling well, or does she suck it up and endure a night out with the Plastics?

    Cady slowly and methodically twists the dial lock back and forth. She’s certain that she’s cranking it to the proper numbers, leaving no room for error. She pulls down on it, and her locker still doesn’t budge.

Cady is about to just leave for the day, coat and calc homework be damned, when a manicured hand suddenly reaches into her line of sight. Cady swallows thickly as the lock gives way by an extra hard tug, and the metal door pops open.

In Cady’s peripheral vision, Regina has her arms crossed, leaned up against a neighboring locker… waiting.

Cady turns to face Regina, unable to keep her eyes from running up her body. Of the many things Cady has learned about herself since coming here from Africa, the most notable are her weaknesses.

Regina.

Leather.

Regina in leather.

When her eyes finally find Regina’s, her face feels like it’s caught aflame. Regina’s mouth is curved up into that signature smirk, and her eyes hold a certain glint, like she knows something Cady doesn’t just yet.

“Something the matter?”

Regina teases, smirk turned devious grin, tongue caught between her teeth.

Cady is still embarrassed to the highest degree, but her face must fall, because Regina’s expression falters into something softer.

“It’s just— I’m fine, Regina.”

    She insists, rifling through her locker. Cady can still feel Regina’s eyes on her, and the weight of her presence. She’s always been an open book when it comes to Regina, ever since they met.

She doesn’t even have to push Cady to divulge things. Regina just looks at her, and suddenly, Cady’s mouth is moving by its own volition.

    Once Cady shuts her locker, she turns back toward Regina, and God, she’s so beautiful. Her blonde locks are tousled, giving that look of messy perfection, and her winged eyeliner is flawless. Those signature black boots give her even more height over Cady than usual, as Regina looks down at her with something unreadable in her gaze.

“I was thinking, maybe I tell Gretch and Kare tomorrow, and tonight… it can be just us.”

Her voice is soft, and she looks almost nervous. This is kind of unsettling, because Regina George never shows any form of uncertainty.

Cady feels a huge wave of relief wash over her, which is confusing, because a night alone with Regina should incite the opposite. She likens it to a gazelle feeling at ease with a lion, stalking from a distance, getting closer and closer—

“Okay, what time?”

Cady blurts, because apparently, she has zero instincts towards self-preservation.

Regina beams, a rival to the upcoming fall evening sun.

“I’ll pick you up at six. Wear something to lounge, and I’ll take care of the rest.”

Regina winks, before pushing up off the locker. She disappears into the crowd before Cady can even reply.

    Cady pulls on her coat, and slings her backpack over her shoulder. Her cheeks burn furiously as she follows the cluster of students heading toward the bus line. Her emotions are a mixed bag, not black and white, but grey, blurred, and erratically tangled within.

What did I just get myself into?

—

   
   
    When the bus turns up her road, Cady feels an ache inside her chest. The driveway is empty, like it’s been for the past three and a half months. She misses her parents, especially with how well they understand her when she’s having one of her off days.

She calls them, and they call her, but it isn’t quite the same.

“Remember Caddy, my garage door is always open!”

Janis smirks, slapping Cady on the back playfully.

“Thanks, Janis. Enjoy ‘toking up’ with Damian?”

Cady’s reply is genuine, but it kind of sounds like a question. This brings a toothy grin to Janis’s face.

“Making me proud, Cads. I’ll see you!”

Cady smiles, a little unsure, and makes her way to the front of the bus.

She stops at her mailbox, as it pulls away with a loud groan behind her.

Cady’s heart feels a little lighter when she pulls out a postcard, amongst all the enveloped bills she’ll have to pay (using her dad’s credit card, but still).

It has a picture of the pride they’ve been observing on one side, and a message on the other.

Twenty-eight more days, and we’ll all be together again.

nakupenda sana!

In scribbly handwriting, undoubtedly her mother’s.

Cady can’t help but fondly smile, fleeting relief to her melancholy.

A flicker of hope courses through her veins, penetrating the viscosity of sadness lying stagnant within. This has been happening more frequently, in tandem with the newfound chaos of her heart.

The frenetic energy only increases with Regina’s growing presence and proximity.

Cady tries not to read into that too much.

—

   
   
    Cady intends to pack her sleepover bag as soon as she gets inside. But her limbs feel heavy, muscles aching with tension, and her brain is so loud. She’s too dysregulated to complete the task, no matter how simple it may seem.

Cady is also extremely tired. She’s been finding it hard to sleep at night, knowing she’s home alone, knowing that if someone were to break in, she’d be done for. She throws her bag and coat on the ground, and heads into the living room.

She usually double checks the lock each time she gets home, but right now, she’s too exhausted. She sinks down into the couch, allowing the heavy comfort of slumber to overtake her.

She doesn’t even think to set an alarm.

—

Cady wakes up, groggy and disoriented. Light no longer cascades across the room, now blanketed in darkness. The clock below the television flashes red, mocking her.

6:25 PM

Cady feels soothing fingers in her hair freeze, as if waiting for her next move.

She isn’t alone.

Cady shoots up off the couch, and the person behind her gasps. She tries to make a break for it without looking back, but trips.

Before she can catch herself, strong arms are wrapping around her from behind, preventing her from making contact with the unforgiving wooden floor.

Cady tries to pull them off of her, but then stops, immediately going stock still. Her senses suddenly zone in all at once.

    The familiar smell of spiced vanilla, the chest pressing firmly into her back, the pattern of breathing against the nape of her neck. She unconsciously relaxes into it, allowing her body to sag. Cady feels a soft sigh up against her hairline, before those arms squeeze her even tighter in their hold.

“Regina?”

Half shocked and half sated, Cady’s thankful Regina can’t see her face.

    As soon as her name leaves Cady’s lips, Cady is released from the tight hold. She silently mourns the loss as she turns around, which she shouldn’t have. The end result is more gay panic, and more shameless staring. Her two default settings around Regina, nowadays.

    She’s wearing loose white pants with a black stripe coming up each leg. An oversized, black zip-up is shrugged over her shoulders, with the hood pulled over her head. She has on a tight gray tee underneath, and her hair cascades down her shoulders, beautifully untamed.

Regina slowly sits down on the arm of the couch, likely where she was perched moments prior, just above Cady’s head.

    Cady has never seen her look so human, and it appears that Regina can sense this. Regina crosses her arms almost protectively, and sits up straighter under Cady’s gaze. Her expression is unreadable in a carefully crafted way.

“You startle easily.”

The sharp edges of her words are slightly blunted, and the smirk she wears doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Yeah um— sorry… how long have you been here?”

Cady’s voice goes high, panicked at the thought of keeping Regina George waiting for any duration of time.

“Just a few…”

Regina replies, almost as if she’s trying to convince herself as well. Cady knows that it had to be longer than that. Any time Regina says she’ll pick up Cady at a specific time, she’s always punctual.

Despite constantly being ‘fashionably late’ when it comes to literally anything or anybody else.

“You could’ve woken me up.”

Warmth curls up inside of Cady’s chest, despite the frisson of fear and excitement?? she feels shooting up her spine.

Regina uncharacteristically breaks eye contact, looking off to the side. She’s suddenly engrossed in Mrs. Heron’s Ladi Kwali pottery, displayed on a nearby shelf.

“Cady, do you—?”

She looks back at Cady, faltering for just a moment. It may as well have been an eternity, because for Regina, that’s the equivalent.

“Do you have all your stuff? Let’s go.”

Cady feels impending doom and shame settle over her. She was useless when she got home, deciding to nap instead of taking the five minutes to throw her things together.

“Let me just grab—”

“Don’t worry about it, I have stuff for you at mine.”

    Regina stands up without a word, walking through the kitchen and out the front door. Cady follows, hurriedly slipping on her Birkenstocks. The only proof of Regina’s hands in her hair, is the aftershock of tingles still radiating across her scalp.

—

The drive is silent, yet deafening, with an inexplicable energy pulling taut between them as it builds. Soft pop plays low through the Jeep’s speakers, and Cady finds herself focusing on the lyrics as a distraction from their wordless noise.

    Cady is overwhelmed, but for once, it isn’t entirely unpleasant. She wraps her arms tightly around herself, in a way that could be passed off as stretching. The pressure relieves her to an extent, but it’s no where near enough.

Like earlier when Regina—

She cuts off that train of thought quickly. Cady’s always been adverse to physical contact when she’s like this, and now… all she wants is to feel Regina again.

Fuck.

Cady props her arm up on the middle console before she can stop herself, brushing up against Regina’s arm resting there. Their pinkies lay side-by-side, and just that little bit of bare contact sends a jolt through Cady’s fingertip, all the way down to her toes.

    They both stare straight ahead at the open road. Regina seems indifferent, legs splayed out and posture loose. But Cady can see Regina’s other hand out of the corner of her eye, whitened knuckles from her crushing grip on the wheel.

It’s almost like Regina can read Cady’s thoughts, looking over at her in response. Cady turns toward her immediately, a second too early to be deemed as natural.

    Regina’s eyes are intense in how they seem desirous to swallow Cady up whole, but not unkind. Cady opens her mouth like she wants to say something, before snapping it shut. They stare at each other for a moment, until Regina looks back toward the road, coming up to the sharp turn onto her street.

She keeps her arm pressed up against Cady’s, bending and contorting the other awkwardly in order to complete the turn one-handed.

Something hot and unfamiliar has stirred awake inside of Cady’s lower abdomen. She’s lucky they’re already coasting up Regina’s drive, because she’s definitely not ready to unpack that yet.

    Regina puts the Jeep in park at the front door, but makes no move to leave it. Cady looks over, and Regina’s eyes are already trained on her. Her gaze is careful now, but surprisingly open.

“Go inside, I’ll be in.”

    All Cady can do is stare, heart fluttering when Regina gives her a gentle smile she’s never seen directed at anyone else. Cady smiles back, and she’s screwed. Regina beams for the second time today, and once again, Cady’s skin has caught fire; from the tips of her ears, to her neck… and even further down where clothing covers.

Regina’s eyes follow the path of heat, and Cady knows her skin is that bright shade of pink that accompanies her being flustered. Regina’s gaze dips even lower then, down to where their arms and pinkies remain flush together.

Cady gets out of the Jeep without speaking, distrusting her ability to form intelligible speech. Once she shuts the door, Regina pulls around back.

She makes her way to the front door, admiring the various autumnal flower varieties meticulously planted in soil on either side of the stone-bricked walkway.

Cady’s face scrunches up in deep thought, attempting to imagine a world where June George would get on her hands and knees, shovel in hand, with soil caught under her manicure—

June.

    Cady pulls her hand away from the doorknob, suddenly ready to retreat. She does not have the mental capacity to deal with that woman right now. She’ll definitely have a slew of questions as to why Gretchen and Karen are absent, and about Aaron.

     Cady hasn’t even told Regina that she friend zoned him, and it was easy enough to get away with. Aaron was disappointed, but genuine in wanting to remain friends. They still talk in calculus, do homework in study hall, and even walk to class together.

    The front door swings open, and it’s Regina on the other side. She looks incredibly confused and concerned as she steps off to the side. She holds the door open for Cady, a silent invitation inside. She crosses the threshold, jumping slightly when Regina shuts the door behind her with a little more force than necessary. Cady doesn’t look back, kicking her shoes off and beelining for the couch in their living room.

    Cady flops down, but then goes stiff. As soft and inviting as the plush cushions are, they probably cost as much as her parents’ car. She bites back a gasp, as a hand combs languidly through her hair. Cady involuntarily leans into the sensation, leaning her head back and meeting eyes with an upside down Regina George behind her. Cady’s body is upright on the couch, but she suddenly feels like she’s going to melt down the front of it, spilling onto the floor in a messy puddle.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Regina murmurs softly, dragging her hand down to the base of Cady’s scalp, scratching lightly at the nape of her neck.

Cady fights the urge of her eyes wanting to roll back in her head. They begin to flutter shut, but then Regina traces her free hand across Cady’s collarbone, up her neck, and under her chin.

Cady swallows hard, and she’s sure Regina can feel her it under her palm.

This feels scandalous to Cady, and she wonders how they would be perceived if someone walked in.

But she doesn’t understand why…

Friends play with each other’s hair all the time, right????

“I—”

Cady tries helplessly, voice breaking off into a silent moan as she melts even further into Regina’s hand.

Regina’s face is unaffected, but her eyes tell a different story. Cady’s a little drunk on the way Regina’s drinking her in, and slightly fearful.

But Cady supposes that’s how anyone would feel under her gaze, her attention, her hands— so uncharacteristically gentle compared to how she conducts herself at school.

“Is anyone home?”

Cady blurts out, and Regina must catch on to Cady’s nerves, because she moves away immediately.

Cady can’t begin to describe how much she regrets asking that. But, she can kind of think clearly now, which is a plus!

    Regina circles around the couch, and sits down next to Cady. She kicks her feet up onto the coffee table in front of them, crossing one leg over the other. She waits for Cady to look over at her before speaking.

“It’s just us.”

    It almost feels like reassurance, but partially sets Cady on edge. Is she trying to get Cady’s guard down before she strikes? Is she trying to sus out Cady’s weaknesses and get her vulnerable? Does she know how easily she crumbles Cady’s resolve?

She’s falling victim to her own mind, allowing it to consume her with worry, it’s so easy, and she feels so weak—

“…Cady, did he hurt you?”

    Regina is suddenly a lot closer, leaning into Cady’s space with an intensity that should’ve caused her to drop dead with its potency. Her eyes are brimming with something raw, and Cady can smell spearmint on her breath. It makes her stomach swoop, and it’s terrifying.

“No! Aaron and I— it’s not— ugh!”

    Cady drops her face into her hands. She has to tell the truth about her and Aaron, or else the consequences for him will be catastrophic. But the consequences for her also could be. She wants to think that Regina may have mercy somewhere deep inside, perhaps where those occasional soft smiles, delicate hands, and gentle words are coming from.

     Cady looks up reluctantly, and her breath is nearly stolen by the tenderness residing in Regina’s eyes. Cady doesn’t miss the stretch of Regina’s arm behind her, across the cushion she’s leaning against. How Regina’s knees are pointing in toward her, grazing Cady’s from her proximity. It’s subtle, but protective, and Cady feels like one of those lovesick girls in movies, who nearly faint by the mere presence of an aesthetically pleasing man.

Regina’s fingers graze Cady’s shoulder from where they hang off the back of the couch, and Cady can’t help but lean into her touch. Despite the urge to flee from how dangerous this feels, the leg Cady is bouncing moves without her consent, wrapping around one of Regina’s.

    Regina’s arm winds around Cady’s shoulders, before trailing down to her waist, and her free hand slides under Cady’s knees. Her grip is firm, and Cady’s mind goes completely blank as she’s swung over and onto the couch. Regina gives her a look that’s both knowing and expectant, and Cady just stares back dumbly. Regina responds by tugging Cady closer, so her legs are splayed across her lap.

    Regina squeezes Cady lightly, before guiding her head to rest on her shoulder. Cady moves willingly, but she feels robotic. Regina’s other arm swings over the thighs in her lap, and Cady takes a deep, grounding breath. She needs to find words, and get them out in a way that doesn’t sound like a bunch of nonsensical gibberish. Regina is practically holding her like a baby, like she’s something precious and pure.

“I friend zoned him. Aaron… Aaron and I are friends, and we still talk, and hang out, but as friends. It’s all very friend-ly.”

Definitely could’ve been worse.

    She stares off into space, eyes absently trained on her own hands fidgeting in her lap. Regina trails the hand resting on side of Cady’s thigh upwards, until it’s resting on top of anxious fingers. Chills break out across Cady’s skin from the contact, and she freezes. After a moment, she takes the hand in hers, twisting Regina’s rings and playing with her fingers. Cady’s racing heart and mind begin to settle, and she actually feels a semblance of calm wash over her. Her body even begins to relax.

    She knows that when she looks at Regina, or if she thinks too hard about their proximity, she’ll be back to square one. She stares at the bigger hand between her smaller ones, and lets go of it reluctantly. Regina slides it back down, resting on the side of Cady’s thigh like before.

    She unhelpfully remembers when Regina sat perched in Shane’s lap a month ago, nearly identical to how they’re positioned now. She swallows dryly, imagining the way Shane’s hand had started on Regina’s thigh, trailing higher and higher, until he was cupping her bottom. He squeezed and kneaded shamelessly as they mashed their lips together, like they were starving for each other’s air.

Regina’s fingers begin to trace patterns into Cady’s leg, and it’s molten, penetrating through the denim of her jeans.

“You’re thinking really loud, care to share?”

Regina’s voice rescues Cady, bringing her back to the present, and her mouth is motoring before she can slam on the breaks.

“Are you and Shane still dating?”

Regina’s hand pauses for a beat, before resuming its ministrations.

“We never were, he’s my friend.”

Cady begins to fidget with her hands again, and Regina pauses, like she’s deliberating on entwining their fingers once more. But she leaves her hand where it’s at, tracing out her assuagement there instead.

“But—”

“We used to be friends who fuck. Now, we’re just friends.”

Cady looks like a fish out of water, opening and closing her mouth multiple times in rapid succession. Regina grabs Cady under the chin and tilts her head up so their eyes can finally meet.

“You got a problem with that?”

Regina’s gaze is unabashedly sharp, searching for judgement…

…and smoldering.

Cady panics.

“No! I think it’s great when friends fuck, I mean— I’m glad you guys are still close, um… that’s good— glad to hear it!”

    Something heady and predacious lurks in Regina’s gaze. The arm around her waist tightens, and Cady’s breath goes stuttery. Regina pulls her in closer by the chin, breath fanning across Cady’s lips as she speaks.

“Mm… I’ll keep that in mind.”

What’s that supposed to mean?!

    Regina pats Cady’s cheek gently, before sliding out from under her. Cady lets out a huge breath she didn’t know she was holding, still lying sideways on the couch. She doesn’t get up right away, unsure if her legs would be able to support her if she tried.

Cady can’t look at Regina just yet, feeling like her thoughts are messily smeared upon her face.

    Cady takes in the pristine living space for the first time since she got here, instead. She’s used to Regina marching up to her room immediately, before June can swarm them. As immaculate as everything is, it doesn’t feel homey, or really like it’s been lived in at all. It’s more for appearances, than comfort, and this makes Cady’s stomach twist into knots.

Everything is a light cream color. If by chance even the tiniest spill tainted the fabric, it would be impossible to cover up.

“Go change, clothes are on my bed.”

    Despite the softness of Regina’s voice, Cady snaps her head over quickly. Regina’s standing by Cady’s feet now, with the ghost of a smile playing on her lips. The corners of her mouth twitch almost imperceptibly with amusement.

“Thanks.”

    Cady is geniunely impressed at how even her voice came out. She pops up and crosses the room quickly, beginning her ascension up the staircase. She can feel Regina’s eyes on her with every step she takes.

—

Changing into the grey sweatpants had been easy enough, she just had to fold the waist over twice.

She holds up the shirt Regina had picked out for her. It’s purple, and slightly worn… but the bold, white lettering on the back is unmistakable.

George

   
   #1

With the Northshore crest, partially faded on the front.

Cady has so many questions, her head feels like it’s spinning.

When did Regina play a sport?

Also…

What sport?

And finally…

Why the fuck did she pick this shirt out for me?

    Cady also wonders why Regina is trusting her inside her room alone. But she fortunately feels relieved, glad that she decided to halt the revenge party a little while ago. Janis and Damian were disappointed, but they ultimately respected her decision.

She throws the shirt over her head, trying not to fall too deeply into her thoughts. She’s been up here for a hot minute, so Regina will definitely be up soon.

    The shirt is slightly baggy, and there are no tags sewn into it. For that, Cady’s immensely thankful. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror of Regina’s vanity, and walks over cautiously. She feels like she’s doing something wrong as she approaches, but the allure of her reflection in Regina’s clothes wins out. By the time Cady finds the eyes of her reflection, her entire face is beet red.

Being a redhead sucks sometimes.

    She thinks with irritation, despite never having this issue before meeting Regina. Her skin has always been prone to flushing, but usually as the result of physical exertion, or a cold morning. Never due to anything internal, like embarrassment or becoming flustered beyond belief.

After she manages to tear her eyes away, Regina’s cork board catches her eye. Most of the pictures are the same as last time, but there’s some significant differences that prolong the scarlet hue of Cady’s cheeks.

    There are two new pictures of the Plastics, plus Cady. The four of them are sat on Shane’s dingy basement couch, at one of the many parties he’s hosted this year. They’re both pinned to the board by a singular thumbtack, with some slight overlap. The picture in front shows them all smiling into the camera, perfectly primped and posed.

Cady can tell that they are all still fairly sober.

The one peeking out from behind it, tells a different story.

    Gretchen has her arms thrown around Karen’s waist, pressed flush against her side. Gretchen’s head rests against Karen’s shoulder, and their bodies are slightly blurred, with Gretchen on the precipice of toppling over into Karen’s lap. They both have smiles plastered onto their faces, wide and genuine, and Cady’s lips quirk up unconsciously.

    Cady then notices Regina and herself seated next to them. Her breath immediately catches in her throat, mouth bone dry. She doesn’t remember seeing this picture after it was taken.

    They’re sitting close together. Regina’s arm is outstretched, frozen in time, with the hand attached tucking a loose strand of hair behind Cady’s ear. They’re looking into each other’s eyes, and away from the camera, unaware of its presence. Cady’s face is scrunched up in a laugh, and Regina is grinning in that goofy way that always makes her heart skip.

They’re at this huge party, cramped up in Shane’s small, stinky basement, looking at each other like they’re the only two people in that room…

…in the world.

Cady manages to convince herself in record time, that her and Regina appear exclusively friendly in that picture, especially in comparison to Gretch and Kare.

That train of thought then comes to a screeching halt.

    There’s another selfie that Regina had taken of her and Cady by her locker. They had been photobombed, unbeknownst to both girls at the time. Regina had apparently decided to get it developed anyway, deeming it worthy of a spot amongst all her other pictures. Cady’s heart clenches at Janis and Damian, flipping off the camera in the background. Janis is wearing her signature shit-eating grin, and Damian is sticking his tongue out.

“I was beginning to think you got lost.”

Cady’s darts her eyes back over toward the mirror, catching Regina’s eyes in the reflection.

    She’s leaned up against the doorframe, arms crossed, not in accusation, but more so appraisal. Her eyes rake down the length of Cady’s body, lingering on her back in a way that can’t be written off as imagination at play. When Regina’s gaze finds hers again, Cady can’t stop the word vomit that ensues.

“I— I didn’t know you played sports.”

Regina’s eyes narrow in a dangerous way, and Cady feels something set alight in her stomach. She’s having such a weird day, and this must be how her overwhelm and anxiety keep on manifesting.

It’s so bizarre, that for once… she doesn’t completely hate it.

“I don’t, I mean… I did. But that was a long time ago.”

Regina’s words are clipped and defensive, and Cady feels like she needs to apologize. Her words catch in her throat, however, as Regina’s reflection moves closer and closer.

“I was captain of the soccer team, back in middle school…”

Regina now stands directly behind her, not touching Cady, but close enough to break her out in chills from the proximity.

“Janis and I both played, and… I loved it.”

“Why did you stop?”

Regina pauses for a long moment, looking tremendously conflicted before she speaks again. It’s so low and reticent, and unlike Regina, that Cady’s throat feels tight.

“To maintain my image, sacrifices had to be made.”

Cady knows that Janis was probably the biggest one.

Regina looks discomfited, and Cady decides to fill the tenseness of their silence.

“I played a lot back in Africa. I wasn’t on a team or anything, but the villagers my age used to always get together and host matches.”

“Were you any good?”

    Regina’s shoulders have relaxed ever so slightly, and Cady feels relief wash over her. Not because she’s afraid of provoking Regina, but because she’s afraid of making her feel unhappy, or uncomfortable— or any other unpleasant emotion she can think of.

Regardless of whether it causes an angry outburst, or lack thereof.

“I’m not sure how I’d compare to someone who’s been coached and trained, but I was decent enough to keep up with the people I played with.”

    Cady smiles wistfully, and her heart skips when Regina smiles back. It isn’t forced, or fake. It’s something compassionate and real that makes Cady feel kind of insane.

But why?

“Hmm… now you have me curious. Sometime, we’ll have to see how well you can keep up with me.”

“I’d like that.”

Cady replies, gaze unwavering from Regina’s behind her. She knows her skin is still blazing with color, but for once, she doesn’t shy away because of it.

Regina raises an eyebrow, with something akin to pride gleaming in her eyes. She looks at Cady for another moment, before heading toward her desk on the other side of the room.

She realizes now, just how much heat was coming off of Regina, and how cold she feels in her absence. Cady feels that something profound has occurred, but she doesn’t fully understand it.

Cady turns toward Regina. She didn’t even notice the two bowls of snacks there before, and she wonders just how long Regina was standing there… watching her.

Cady walks over, as Regina places them on her nightstand. Cady notices that one of the bowls is filled up with chips and pretzels, and the other…

…it’s any type of sugary candy you could imagine. Sour Patch Kids, Swedish Fish, gummy worms, gummy bears, and the list goes on.

All of Cady’s favorites are present and accounted for, and then some. It’s everything Regina hates, and Cady loves.

Butterflies begin to glide aimlessly inside her stomach, and Cady decides to test something out.

“I thought you hated this stuff… doesn’t it hurt your teeth?”

Cady asks, recalling a time at lunch when Shane offered her a gummy worm. Regina had said something along those lines, while looking at him like he’d sprouted a second head.

Regina whips around to face Cady, as a hand finds the back of her neck, scratching idly. She looks kind of… anxious.

“I never said that.”

Regina blurts, sounding defensive again. But Cady doesn’t feel dread clawing at her chest. This time, she feels a giddy warmth seeping throughout.

“What’s your favorite?”

Regina’s eyes widen slightly, before she recovers. She moves the hand at her neck, down to her hip.

“Um… all of them?”

She says with a bite of attitude. Cady continues to stare her down, saying nothing and everything with the beginnings of a grin stretching across her lips.

Regina shoves her hand inside the bowl, scooping out an assortment of the various gummies. She glances at the sugary handful for a moment, before plopping it into her mouth.

    Regina chews slowly, and Cady can tell she’s resisting the urge to scrunch up her face in disgust. Her eyes never leave Cady’s, a challenging glint present within. She finally swallows, making an audible sound, and looks at Cady boldly.

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Cady’s voice quivers, as she bursts into laughter. Regina narrows her eyes menacingly, but Cady can tell she’s fighting off a smile.

“Ugh, I hate you. You do like them though, right?” 

Regina tries to sound casual, but Cady immediately stops laughing.

The softness of Cady’s eyes and voice nearly steal Regina’s breath away.

“Yes, I do. Thank you, Regina.”

It’s sincere and earnest, something Regina could certainly get used to. She doesn’t reply or think about that too much, quickly changing the subject instead.

“Wanna watch a movie?”

She glides over to her side of the bed, sliding down gracefully onto the pink satin sheets.

Cady nods, still standing as she watches Regina, beginning to feel awkward and restless.

“Good, I’m picking.”

Regina turns on her side to face Cady, cheek propped up in hand, legs stretched out elegantly. She watches Cady closely, a lazy smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth as she regards her.

And just like that… Cady has lost the upper hand.

—

They lay side by side, about a full arms length away. Regina’s bed is massive, and Cady feels far more disappointed than she should.

Regina mentions something about being into classics lately, and when she mentions the movie they’re watching, Cady’s brows furrow severely. Based on the name alone, it doesn’t seem like something Regina would be into at all.

“Grease?”

Cady asks, looking over at Regina with an adorably perplexed expression.

Regina grins at her, before turning toward the massive flat screen and pressing play.

“You’ll see.”

—

    The opening scene confuses Cady even more. It starts with crashing waves, and open water, glistening from the setting sun. Two people who look to be about their age, run up the shoreline with their hands joined together. The next scene shows them up close, looking deeply into each other’s eyes. The dim, orange sphere of light is the only separation between their lips. They lean in, and Cady nearly gasps. Not because of the dude’s impressive hair, or even the passionate kiss they share…

…a question flutters erratically in Cady’s head, begging to be answered.

Is Regina a romantic?

It doesn’t stop there, it shows the same beautiful girl, with blonde hair, and the guy building a sand castle. He accidentally messes it up, and she chases him around playfully as he runs away laughing.

It pans to the final scene taking place on the beautiful beach.

“I’m going back to Australia, I may never see you again.”

“D-don’t talk that way Sandy.”

His voice takes on the cadence of denial. And then he’s kissing her— a little too passionately, bordering on aggressive. It’s like she’s the air he needs to breathe…

…like how Shane kissed Regina that night.

Sandy pushes him away once he moves his lips down to her neck, telling him not to spoil things.

“Danny, is this the end?”

She asks, eyes pleading, hoping that it isn’t.

Danny gives her that million dollar smile, probably what sealed him the deal on this role in the first place…

…besides the hair, of course.

“Of course not, it’s only the beginning.”

    Cady’s heart should be constricting at the impassioned love and heartbreak of it all. But imagining Regina being forceful and demanding like that with her— she feels like she’s burning alive, but delighting in the anguish. All she can think about is Regina kissing her like that, and how she wouldn’t push her away.

Cady squirms, sitting up with her legs crossed. She digs her fingernails into the tops of her thighs and realizes too late, how obvious she’s being.

The intro song to the movie, blaring from Regina’s expensive speakers, startles Cady out of the beginnings of her internal chastisement immediately. She keeps her eyes trained on the vibrant animation of a radio bouncing back and forth, and prays Regina was too focused on the movie to notice Cady’s— whatever you’d like to call that disaster.

Cady makes herself lie back down, and she feels rigid. Her brain is consumed with Regina, and she literally feels too gay to function.

Is that really what this is?

They had been so close to each other downstairs on the couch, what would’ve happened if Regina didn’t pull away? It’s almost as if she’s still there, imagining the tightness of Regina’s hold, minty breath against her lips, the low vibration of her voice.

Cady can hear it echoing in her ears repeatedly like a mantra. The pleased hum that made Cady’s mind turn to mush and then…

I’ll keep that in mind.

I’ll keep that in mind.

I’ll keep that in mind.

“You ok?”

    Cady startles again, head whipping over to Regina. She’s lying on her back, head propped up on a pillow so she can view the movie comfortably. Regina is turned on her side now, facing Cady, and seemingly closer than before. She looks down at Cady with concern from her own pillow.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Cady questions nervously, after taking a deep breath to buy her some time. She turns on her side, mirroring the way Regina is lying.

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

Frustration is now evident in Regina’s tone. Like not knowing what’s on Cady’s mind is a personal grievance to her.

“You like rom-coms?”

Cady blurts out in a panic, desperate to distract Regina from the fact that she’s not only bothered, but overwhelmingly hot as well.

And that she, alone, is the cause.

Regina looks toward the television for a moment, as realization dawns over her face. When she looks back at Cady, her face is unreadable.

“This… is anything but.”

“But— the beach, and the sunset, and the… kissing.”

Cady’s voice goes shy and quiet, as she looks away from Regina’s intense gaze.

“Men only kiss like that when they want something from you. Didn’t you see how he basically forced himself on her?”

Regina actually looks horrified.

“Yes, and she pushed him away.”

    Cady stops there, but Regina reaches her hand out, lying in the space between them. Cady takes it without hesitation, playing with her fingers like she did downstairs. This gives her the courage to power through what she left unsaid.

“But, doesn’t the other person ever… want that?”

The loud music fades in the background, and the room goes still. Like the walls are holding their breath in anticipation of what comes next.

“Do you?”

Regina is unable to hide the sudden curiosity in her voice.

Cady doesn’t reply, but she leans in a little. It feels like an unseen force has taken control over her body, with the sole mission to get her closer to Regina.

Regina follows Cady’s lead, propping up on an elbow, and leaning in a similar amount.

After a few seconds of Cady seeming unsure of what to do next, Regina takes Cady’s hand and places it on her hip. But she makes no move to close the distance between them, or do anything else.

It’s a wordless communication of reassurance, encouragement… desire.

Cady realizes that she’s the one who has to bite at what’s being offered.

She musters up some courage, moving in even closer. The look in Regina’s eyes is pure want, laced with something else that makes Cady’s heart twinge, but in a pleasant way.

They’re now both completely facing each other, as their legs tangle together. Cady’s eyes are zoned in on the point of connection they share, hand to hip, because it feels like they’re branding one another with the touch.

“Look at me.”

    Regina whispers, and Cady is helpless to deny her. Her breath catches in her throat at how close their faces are. And when Regina gently pushes a loose strand of hair from her face, Cady’s skin tingles from the path her fingers take across her cheek, and behind her ear.

“Cady, it’s ok if you aren’t sure—”

“I want you.”

“Oh.”

Regina replies intelligently, because so many people do, but it’s never felt anything like this. She’s breathless from the conviction and confidence in Cady’s voice, and those viridescent eyes on her.

It’s a stark contrast from the way she was acting earlier, and it gives Cady a surge of confidence that almost makes her feel dizzy. It’s short lived, however, when Cady remembers she’s never done this before.

Regina’s eyes are dark, and so fervorous as they take her in. Her lip is worried between her teeth, and Cady realizes that she’s nervous too.

“I’ve um, never done this… but I want to! I just don’t know what I’m doing, and it might not be great—”

    Regina puts a finger to Cady’s lips, effectively silencing her mouth and mind from insecurity. She reaches down for Cady’s other hand, pressing a slow kiss to the palm, before placing it on her shoulder. She doesn’t break eye contact, and Cady suddenly feels like she can’t catch her breath.

She wraps her arms around Cady’s lower back, pulling her in until they’re almost flush. Their noses brush once, twice, and Regina tightens her grip around Cady, applying pressure like she knows it’s what she needs.

“Is this ok?”

Regina asks, her consideration uncharacteristic. Cady’s never seen her act in this way with anyone else.

It makes her even hotter, which Cady didn’t think was possible.

“Yes.”

“Tap me three times if you need to stop.”

Cady can’t imagine a world where that’d ever be the case. After Cady nods her understanding, all hesitation from Regina leaves the room as she finally closes the gap between them.

    Her lips are gentle, but sure. Cady’s entire body feels like it’s going to explode from how tingly her own lips feel from Regina’s. Regina gives her waist a comforting squeeze, and Cady can’t help but sigh softly into her mouth. It feels so good, and grounds Cady more than Regina could ever know.

“Relax your mouth.”

She murmurs softly. This sends a shiver up Cady’s spine, and she can feel goosebumps chasing the sensation.

    Her mouth relaxes, and Regina sucks on Cady’s bottom lip with a pleased hum. The vibration makes Cady stiffen up, not because she doesn’t like it, but because her nervous system has a mind of its own. The whirlwind of new sensations she’s feeling simultaneously are causing this, which causes Cady’s mind to swirl with all sorts of what if’s…

What if this is just a one time thing?

What if Regina hates me after this?

What if I’m not cut out to be a Plastic?

What if my brain is always against me, making me feel too much, worry too much, care too much—?

Why can’t I just be normal?

“Cady?”

Regina groans, and Cady’s cheeks flush from the sound. God, she’d do anything to hear her name over and over again from Regina’s lips like that.

“Yes… yeah?”

Cady hopes that Regina doesn’t notice how affected her own voice sounds.

“You’re thinking really loud again.”

“Then make it stop… please?”

The first half comes out as an order, but her voice ultimately twists up into a pleading tone. Cady didn’t expect to beg, but she needs put out of her misery, and Regina is the only person who can do this for her.

She’s never been more certain.

“Again.”

Regina demands, digging her fingers into Cady’s hips. Desperate azure bores into Cady, and the restraint Regina’s clearly exhibiting makes her feel lightheaded.

“Please, Regina, please make it stop, I ca—”

“Shh… I hear you, baby.”

    Regina’s voice is soft and rough at the same time, and baby?! Cady can’t help but smash her lips against hers. Cady’s mouth still hasn’t found its instinctive footing yet, so Regina moves a hand up to her chin. She coaxes Cady to relax her jaw, and open up to her.

    Cady clings onto Regina tightly, digging her fingers into the fabric of her neckline and the swell of her hip. This is becoming very real, very fast. Such an intense, unspoken energy surrounds them, and Cady has never wanted to surrender to anything so badly.

“I got you.”

    Regina whispers in response to the vice grip, before licking languidly into Cady’s mouth. She’s fleeting, scraping the roof of Cady’s mouth before pulling back for light pecks. She wants to ease her into it, rather than overwhelm her with too much, too fast. Still, when Cady gasps, she can feel Regina smirk against her mouth.

    Cady’s face burns, and she immediately wants to get even. She lunges forward and nips at Regina’s bottom lip, before pulling away to see her reaction. A pathetic sound escapes Regina, and Cady immediately regrets looking into her eyes. Blue is entirely enveloped by black. And there’s a dusting of pink over the bridge of her nose, accompanied by freckles Cady’s never noticed before.

“You like the noises I make for you, huh?”

    Regina looks deeply affected, even flustered by Cady reducing her down to such a state with just some light kissing. But her voice is as dizzying and intoxicating as ever. This sort of combination is deadly, the kind that’ll have Cady reduced down to a pathetic mess in mere seconds.

She nods frantically, helplessly, and Regina lets out a low, throaty chuckle that Cady can feel down to her bones.

    Cady gasps as Regina grabs one of her legs, and slings it over her hip. Their bodies are completely pressed together now, and it’s apparent how out of control they both are, as they breathe erratically in tandem. Regina digs her nails into the meat of the thigh she’s holding at her waist, and the sound Cady lets out is truly unfiltered, like she’s finally letting go of her own internal scrutiny.

“That’s it… God.”

    Regina encourages, before reconnecting their mouths. She’s less careful this time, as she nips and sucks at Cady’s lips. Cady focuses on how warm and soft she feels, and allows herself to melt into the sensation.

    When Regina laves her tongue across the seam of Cady’s lips, she doesn’t need any prompting to relax her jaw. She opens her mouth slightly, and welcomes Regina in. Regina lets out a breathy moan in response, indicative of her gratitude at Cady’s pliancy. She tastes like sweetness and relief— candy and something entirely Regina that coaxes Cady deeper and deeper into submission.

    Cady’s tongue glides against Regina’s on its own accord, seeking for more and more of whatever she deigns to give. They both sigh into each other as Regina tilts her head to deepen the kiss. She swirls her tongue around Cady’s in a skillfully obscene way, and a broken moan slips out, which only spurs Regina on. Cady tries to match her pace—it’s unpracticed and messy; but it conveys the unspoken depths of her desire for Regina, and the desire to please her.

    This makes Regina feel weak in ways she’s never experienced before. Cady would never know, but Regina is also surrendering. She’s allowing herself to bend to her true desires and inclinations for the very first time. Regina knows that only Cady herself, could compel her to do so, to risk everything she’s built from the ground up.

    She’s never been as close to Cady as she is now. The smell of her cheap Bath and Body spray lingers, despite the Jimmy Choo and Versace she lended Cady to use instead. For once, she’s glad that her advice wasn’t heeded. Regina has never wanted to taste anything so badly.

    Regina manages to pull herself away from Cady’s lips, and the whine that leaves them causes her head to spin wildly. She intends to start off light and sweet, peppering kisses across Cady’s jaw, and down her neck. But the end result is sloppy, all tongue and teeth—heat that she can’t hold back when Cady sounds like that.

Cady begins to squirm, and Regina immediately slows down, alternating to the chaste pecks she planned on initially. She keeps her arms wound tightly around Cady though, because she’s latched on as if she’s fearful of Regina pulling away.

“You ok, sweet girl?”

Regina asks, a little breathless at the way Cady holds her in place. She presses soft kisses against the column of her neck, delighting in the vibration of Cady’s voice box against her lips.

“Yeah, I just— need you…”

Cady intends to continue on with her request, but she’s kind of glad her voice failed her. What Regina says next is something she’ll have running on a loop in her brain forever.

“You have me.”

Regina looks up at her with scarlet cheeks that match Cady’s, for once.

“Will you… lay on top of me?”

Cady realizes how the request sounds the second it leaves her lips.

“I didn’t mean— I just meant—”

“Cady, you don’t have to explain. I want you to be comfortable…”

Her smile is knowing as she rolls Cady onto her back, and Cady wonders just how much Regina has already figured her out.

Regina settles on top of Cady, burying her face in the crook of her neck. Their legs are still tangled together, and Cady can feel the warmth of Regina’s cheek against her skin.

It travels directly to her chest, and in between her ribs.

“…and I like being close to you.”

    Regina’s voice is muffled, but Cady makes it out perfectly, and despite feeling crappy in general, she’s never been more content. She wraps an arm around Regina’s shoulders, and places her other hand on the back of her neck. She plays with the blond, baby hairs at Regina’s nape, and the sigh she lets out makes Cady shudder. Regina plants a single kiss at her pulse point, and Cady shudders again. Regina gives her a tight squeeze around her waist, providing even more pressure and relief to the girl beneath her.

“I like it too, and everything that we just um… just did.”

Sometimes Cady’s body gives off mixed signals, and she needs Regina to know that she wanted everything and more. The brakes just needed pumped for the time being.

She’s just frustrated that this is happening to her on a day like today…

…and shocked that she craves Regina’s closeness at all.

Usually, Cady uses one of her many weighted blankets. But she’d throw them all away for this alternative, if Regina was guaranteed every time Cady needed her.

Regina seems to know the effect she’s having on her, and that makes Cady feel ecstatic and insane at the same time.

“I know, baby. We’ll pick up where we left off when you feel better.”

“I like that… and the other one.”

Cady’s grateful Regina can’t see her face, she doesn’t think she’d be so brazen if that were the case.

“Well… you’re very sweet, and not just from all that artificial shit you consume, it’s only fitting.”

Regina’s voice is defensive, but also tinged with amusement, and she gives her another squeeze. Cady decides to count this as a win, and she can’t help but ask a follow-up question.

“And baby?”

“Shut up and watch the movie.”

Regina’s exacting tone only breaks Cady’s brain a little.

—

Cady insists on Regina moving, so she can see the screen. But she’s secretly thrilled when Regina insists on staying put, having seen the movie too many times to count, and having it practically memorized.

She whispers along with some of her favorite lines into Cady’s neck, pleased as peaches when she shivers, skin pebbling up beneath her lips. Regina loves how responsive Cady is to her, and decides to keep that useful bit of information in her memory bank.

    When the Pink Ladies make their entrance, Cady feels like she’s watching the Plastics, sixty plus years in the past. All three girls wear baby pink zip ups with black monogrammed lettering. The lead Pink Lady, Rizzo, wears all black underneath hers. She’s very reminiscent of Regina, despite her hair being short and black, and Regina’s being luxuriant and blonde.

—

“Guys… how do you like Sandy, huh? Think we could let her in the Pink Ladies?”

Frenchie asks, the girl kind enough to welcome Sandy in, and take a chance on her. For some reason, she reminds Cady of Gretch.

Minus the anxiety emanating from her at all hours of the day, especially when Regina goes out of her way to be closer to Cady.

Jan, another pink lady, stands behind her, double fisting some sweets and looking at Sandy intently. Her hair is in two curly pigtails, and she seems to be unapologetically herself.

Karen.

And then Rizzo, analyzing Sandy with sharp blue eyes, across the lunch table they sit at.

“She looks too pure to be pink.”

Regina whispers this line as Rizzo says it, lips pressed up against Cady’s ear, causing her to shudder.

She grips Cady tighter, nibbling the lobe, before placing a soft kiss against the reddening skin.

“Is that how you feel about me?”

Cady blurts out, inhibitions fleeing the scene from Regina’s lips and teeth.

Regina pauses, clearly putting thought into her response. She pulls back a little to look at Cady.

    Regina is so soft and sweet like this. She gazes up into Cady’s eyes in a way that’s so open, so unguarded. Cady knows that Regina can feel her heart racing beneath her cheek, can sense her nerves in the way her fingers twirl blonde waves in a less relaxed way, intending to soothe not only Regina, but herself as well.

Before Cady’s body can begin to go rigid, Regina is already squeezing her, and all Cady can do is sigh and melt into it.

“Maybe at first, but you’ve never had an issue looking the part, Cady.”

She presses a lingering kiss to Cady’s jawline.

“But what about how I am, I know I’m different than the rest of you, and—”

“That drew me in from the start.”

Despite what Regina said, Cady’s brain immediately goes to a negative place. She’s terrified at the thought of not meeting Regina’s standards, of Regina wanting her to be certain ways that she’s not.

I can change, I’ll tell Regina it isn’t too late and I—

“You may be different, but you’re one of us, and I don’t want you to change… like ever.”

    Cady is silent, mouth agape. She was not expecting Regina to say that. She’s been trying so hard to act like one of them, to do as they do… she didn’t even give Regina the chance to see her for who she truly is.

Did she?

It seems like Cady is far worse at pretending than she thought. Either that, or Regina just sees Cady, really saw her from the start.

Regina’s cheeks have gone pink under Cady’s gaze, but she doesn’t look away.

“Does that answer everything?”

Regina’s voice takes on that abrasive tone that makes Cady feel weak all over.

She opens her mouth a few times to speak, before giving up on words and nodding enthusiastically.

“Good, now pay attention to the movie.”

She grasps Cady’s chin, and directs her head back toward the TV. Regina does it in a way that isn’t rough, but deliberate enough to exude authority, and signal that the conversation is over.

It makes Cady’s stomach reignite with that endless burn. It’s not extremely overpowering, but enough that she’s now aware of the effect Regina has on her.

—

They eventually make their way under the silken covers. Regina insists that they do their evening skin care first, but Cady wants to wait until the movie is over.

How could Regina ever deny her? Especially when she fits so perfectly in her arms.

Cady’s eyes begin to feel heavy, and she doesn’t fight it. She hasn’t felt the blissful peace associated with sleep in ages, and she knows that Regina’s presence is what’s making it like this.

She finally feels safe.

Cady could’ve been imagining it, but the last things she registers before succumbing to sleep, are a delicate kiss pressed upon her temple…

…and Regina’s voice, quieter than she’s ever heard it.

“Love you.”

    Regina throws around love ya and love you to the other Plastics all the time. But something about this one seems far more precious and intimate. She isn’t even sure if it was intended for her to hear.

Cady doesn’t jolt up to overthink it, instead, she falls asleep with a smile on her face.

And the steady presence of ardor flourishing inside her…

…far more promising than quick flashes of hope.