Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jimmy paced the room, obviously anxious. Tango gave him a tired and confused look as he entered the living room.

"What's the matter? And WHY this early?"

Jimmy gaze snapped to Tango as his wings flared and he stumbled back with surprise. Leaning against the marble counter for balance, he sighed. Tango breath caught as the early sunlight fell on his boyfriend's blond hair, making him look almost heavenly.

"Remember Scott?" Jimmy asked, his voice laced with worry.

"Yep, he was your ex, right?"

Jimmy paced back and forth again, every aspect of his expression worried. 

"I just realised...he just up and disappeared. And we all forgot. FORGOT, Tango. Even Martyn, his best friend, forgot all about him."

Tango pulled himself up so he could sit on the counter, gesturing for Jimmy to come sit net to him. "When you say it like that, yeah, that was messed up."

Jimmy pulled himself up and covered his face with his hands. "Where even is he now? What's he like?"

Tango brushed a blond straw out of his boyfriend's eyes. "You could always text him. You still have his number, right?"

Jimmy looked at him with shock. "You're kidding! He'd never respond. You don't know him, Tango!" he exclaimed.

Tango recoiled slightly with unease. "I think I knew him well enough. He's a kind man, he'd forgive you."

"Then WHY DID HE JUST DISAPPEAR?!" 

An expression of regret washed over Jimmy's face as he looked away with shame. "Sorry, didn't mean to yell. I stop obsessing over it and just text him."

–*–*–

Scott curled up in his bed as soon as he was back from work. His house was a mess, as it had been for the past few...months? Years? Scott didn't remember.

His past self would've definitely disapproved. He still remembered how he used to organise everything properly, keep everything tidy. 

That seemed lifetimes ago.

Scott pulled his phone out and quietly typed in the password. But as soon as the phone unlocked, he spotted something.

A notification.

Jesus, how long had it been since he had one of those?

He let out a small, slightly hysterical, giggle. Surely this was a joke. It had to be.

Don't get too hopeful, a voice in his head warned.

Scott had gotten used to them. They weren't his own, he knew that. They called themselves 'Watchers'. Scott didn't remember when the whispers started, but it was clear they wanted one thing:

His death.

Scott tried to clear his head as he opened his messages. A small '1' appeared above a number.

Jimmy's number.

Hi!

How r u?

Was he crazy? Why did he text him of all people?

Why now?

Scott nervously tugged the ends of his brown hair. He remembered they were blue before, but he stopped remembering to dye them, like the many other things in life. Now, only the tips had any hint of cyan left. 

Don't get too excited, he's just bored. He doesn't really care. Who would anyways?

Scott hated how he couldn't drown out the Watchers' voice no matter what. Maybe that was the point.

He eventually mustered the courage to look at his phone again. How should he respond? He couldn't tell him the truth, that was out of the question. But he also couldn't sound too optimistic, that would be suspicious.

Maybe just something plain and boring, maybe then Jimmy would lose interest.

fine. wbu

Chapter Text

Content Warning: Contains depictions of self harm

Tango rested his head on Jimmy’s shoulder, enjoying his sweet scent. He watched him typing to Scott, updating him on what had happened in their friend group. Tango knew he shouldn’t be jealous, after all Scott was his friend as well, but an uneasy feeling settled into his stomach. At first, he didn’t know why, but with every text it became clearer.

huh?! joel and etho broke up?

YEAH! AND OMG THE DRAMA AFTERWARDS!

Jimmy was writing another message when Tango interrupted him, nestling his face deeper into Jimmy’s shirt.

“That’s not how Scott used to text, you know?”

Jimmy shrugged, “Maybe he just texts differently because that’s how his new friend group texts. He’s always been a bit of a people-pleaser.”

Tango’s voice grew exasperated, “Yeah, but still–“

“Are you suggesting someone’s pretending to be Scott?” Jimmy interrupted, trying to look at Tango.

“No, I’m just saying something feels off.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know! He was just more–more expressive while texting! He never went full lower-case! And since when did he start using any punctuation other than exclamation marks?”

Jimmy rolled his eyes and Tango let out a frustrated groan. He was sure something was wrong, and he needed to find out what it was.

–*–*–

Scott put down his phone with a sigh. He didn’t expect just simple texting to be this…tiring. But of course it was, for he had to think before anything he sent; he had to be careful not to leak anything.

There is an easy way out of this, the voice chimed.

Scott would be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted.

He covered his face with his hands. What hell did he get himself into? It didn’t seem like Jimmy was losing interest, which Scott had really wished he had.

A strong scent attacked his nostrils. Something like iron, maybe–

Scott pulled back his palms to see pool of red seeping through a cut on his hand. When did that happen? Did he cut himself and not notice?

Scott just sighed and carefully navigated the messy maze of his house, tip-toeing through clothes, junk, everything that lay on the floor, to the sink. He started the tap when a voice startled him.

Don’t do it. You don’t deserve it. Why are you so sad when you’re the one who drove them away?

Scott covered his ears to block out the voice of the Watchers, as if it would help.

“Stop.” he managed to croak.

The whispers only grew louder. It seemed as if many people were talking at once, every one of them against him.

You should be ashamed–what have you even–you think you deserve–you’ve done nothing but–stop it right now–wouldn’t it be easier if–you have no right to–he’s just–

“STOP!” Scott yelled as he curled up on the messy floor. He felt sobs escape his mouth as tears trickled down his face. It didn’t stop, and it didn’t look like it would anytime soon.

It was overwhelming, thousands of voices telling him the same thing in different ways. Scott wished someone were there. A comforting voice, a hug, anything. But he knew there wasn’t.

And only he was to blame.

He had pushed everyone away, so only he was to blame for the aching hollowness in his heart. The one which haunted every thought, every action, every dream. And he wanted it, anyway. Why was he complaining? He had no right to.

The wound kept bleeding, but Scott had neither the strength nor will to clean it anymore.

So he lay there, spilling both tears and blood, praying to whatever gods existed that it would all stop.

Though he knew it never would.

Chapter Text

Etho hesitated at the clean, grey door. He was coming unannounced, he'd startle them. What if they were busy with work? What if they were busy with something else that–

Etho shook his head as he felt his cheeks flush up beneath his mask. He was being silly, he was their friend. Besides, who did anything...weird in the evening?

He finally pressed down on the doorbell as a sharp sound ringed through the hallway. He heard footsteps as a fiery figure appeared in front of him. 

"Oh, hi Etho!" Tango exclaimed, then frowned. "We weren't expecting you."

"I just wanted to give you Joel's hoodie. Next time you meet him...can you please give it back? He–he surely won't talk to me." Etho hated how his voice was shaking. Gosh, he was being pathetic. Maybe it was how the hoodie stil smelled like the man he loved that was throwing him off.

Tango looked at him with pity. "Sure thing, bud. Wanna come inside?"

Etho froze still. Was Tango really just...letting him in? He wasn't kicking him out for the whole situation with Joel? 

"Sure–yeah sure thing."

A cold gust of air tingled around his arms as Etho entered the house. It was actually kinda clean, though knowing Jimmy and Tango, the junk was probably stuffed into closets.

Still would've been better than his house currently.

It had been a mess since Joel left. It wasn't like Joel used to clean up, in fact Etho used to be the tidy one. However, nothing had been the same since that argument, and Etho was sure it would never be again.

Jimmy was laying upside down on the sofa texting someone on his phone.

"Who are you texting?" Etho asked. Jimmy looked up and opened his mouth to say something but Tango answered for him.

"Scott. He's been trying to make up for breaking up with him." Tango said, sitting down on the couch. 

"You're alright with that?" Etho whispered to him. Tango just shrugged, "I mean, it was kinda suspicious how he simply...disappeared afterwards." He got up and looked over o Jimmy's phone, as if just making sure. Eventually (once his neck hur from leaning over so much, Etho assumed) Tango decided on just sitting next to Jimmy. Suddenly feeling pretty alone on the other side of the couch ,Etho followed. 

"Jimmy, you sure you're not gonna overwhelm this poor guy?" Etho commented, frowning at the full capital texts.

"That's what I told him as well." Tango groaned, crossing his arms over his chest.

–*–*–

Scott winced as another buzz came from his phone.

Jimmy's texts were comforting at first, a ray of hope some would say, but now it was getting exhausting. It was tiring to think of polite answers, tedious to keep reacting. Scott knew he was being ungrateful, but he still wanted the guy to shut up for once.

Wanting contact and hating it when it's given? Too needy.

Scott let out s giggle. Of course the Watchers had a say in this, why would they not? Everything he did, everything he said, everything he gave or received, the Watcher's always knew what would throw him off.

They weren't wrong, and he deserved to hurt.

Then why did he hate it so much?

He sighed, pulling his phone from the tangle of blanket and holding it in front of him again. He sucked in a breath with surprise when he opened his messages.

The new text wasn't from Jimmy.

It was from the person Scott least expected, a person whom Scott wasn't really close with when he was still in the friend group:

Etho. 

Scott didn't even remember why he had Etho's number. He had always stayed clear of him, not wanting to be on Joel's bad side.

He opened the chat, not knowing what to expect. What it was though, it definitely didn't match what he read on the too-bright screen.

about jimmy

...

sorry if he has been pestering you too much

i don't want to come off as ude by saying this

but i think you might need to know, seeing how you acted back in our friend group

you can say it's too much, ok?