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It is Thanksgiving Day and Wayne Manor is full of life.
Alfred, Ma Kent, Pa Kent, Jason, Ivy, and Bernard are in the kitchen cooking up enough food to last all twenty-nine of them till next Thanksgiving.
Bruce, Clark, Diana, and Commissioner Gordon are talking about suspicious activities around the greater Metropolis-Gotham metropolitan area.
Lois, Selina, Talia, and Harley are surrounding Roy as he holds the one-year-old Lian in his arms, meanwhile Jade stands off to the side ignoring Roy’s silent pleas for help.
Steph, Cass, Kara, and Barbara are off sitting on the floor playing a game of Cards Against Humanity.
Tim, Kon, and Duke are playing Mario Kart.
Dick, Kory, Jon, and Damian are sitting on the couch watching a rerun of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
And Ra’s is sitting on a armchair sulking. He most certainly did not want to attend this allahforsaken dinner, but Talia “persuaded” him to attend.
Kory: What a lovely tradition, I love the floats and the balloons are lovely.
Dick: I’m worried about the wind; I’d hate to see a balloon get torn open.
Jon: I like the Sesame Street float; I love the Muppets.
Damian: Big Bird is the superior Muppet; the others are greatly inferior. The creators should drop Elmo as their primary mascot, and acknowledge Big Bird’s superiority.
Dick: What about Cookie Monster? He’s my favorite.
Damian: He is a disgrace; he claims to like cookies yet when he eats one, half of it ends up on the floor. Still, it takes little effort to see why he’s your favorite Richard.
Dick: Hey!
Jon: Be nice Dami.
Damian: I am simply making an observation Jon. It makes perfect sense as to why Richard prefers Cookie Monster among all the Muppets.
Jon shifted slightly away from Damian.
Damian (sighed): I apologize Richard, Cookie Monster is an acceptable character.
Jon smiled and shifted back towards Damian, the two boys resting against the other.
Kory (to Dick): What was that about?
Dick: Kryptonians radiate some heat. It feels like the heat you feel from the outside of an oven with cookies baking inside, it’s nice. When I was Robin, I loved it when Clark carried me, it felt like being held by a big stuffed animal.
Damian (slightly blushing): That’s not why I’m cuddling with Jon. It’s a bonding exercise, to strengthen our bond as partners. Besides, you and baba are aways saying I need to be more accepting of physical affection.
Jon: I like the sound of Damian’s heartbeat, I can hear it from the other side of the world, but like it more up close.
Damian: Stop listening to my heartbeat you weirdo.
Jon: Says the guy who bugged my cape so he could keep track of where I go during patrol.
Damian (crossing his arms): Fine, we’re even.
Duke: Oh, I can see you guys up ahead.
Tim: There’s no way you’re about to lap us.
Kon: How are you so good at this game?
Duke: I play a lot of Mario Kart.
Kon (turning to Tim): Why didn’t you tell me your brother was this good.
Tim: I knew he was good at Mario Kart, but not this good.
Duke (lapping Kon and Tim): Bye guys.
Tim: I will run you off the road Rosalina!
Duke: Like to see you try Shy Guy.
Tim: Help me out Toad!
Kon: I’m staying out of this…
Lois: Oh, my goodness Lian has grown so much.
Selina: She’s so cute.
Harley: She’ll make a great hero someday.
Talia: With Roy, Jade, and Jason as her parents I have no doubt she will.
Roy (looking down at his daughter): Well, that’s a long time from now.
Lian: Dada!
Roy looked at Jade pleading for help from the ladies around him.
Jade: You got this handled Roy.
Lian (looking at Jade): Mama!
Jade smiled and walked over to the group.
Jade: Hello sweetheart. She grabbed Lian into her arms. You’ve been behaving for your dads, right?
Lian nodded.
Jade: Good, I don’t want to get a call from your dada or papa because you’re misbehaving.
Lian looked back at Roy and extended her hands out to him.
Roy (taking Lian back in to his arms): Well, you heard your mom, behave.
Lian looked back at Jade before turning to look up at Roy and nodded.
Steph, Cass, Kara, and Barbara are off sitting on the floor playing a game of Cards Against Humanity.
Kara: Alright here we go, “why is Brett so sweaty?” “Throwing a virgin into a volcano, carbs, [or] asking the dentist for more teeth.” Hmm. I’ll have to go with the more teeth one.
Cass: Yes!
Barbara: I don’t know, Brett sounds like the name of a guy who worries about carbs.
Steph: No he sounds like the type of guy to throw virgins in to volcanos.
Cass: My turn!
Cass grabbed a black card.
Cass (signing): “I drink to forget” blank.
The other three girls handed her cards.
Cass (signing): “Inappropriate yodeling, pretending golf is fun, [and] an unwanted pregnancy.” Ok that last one is dark, it wins.
Barbara: Yeah, I hesitated picking that one.
Kara: Honestly whoever invented golf was a lunatic.
Steph: Goodness the smells coming from the kitchen are divine.
Barbara: They do, maybe we should try sneaking into the kitchen and steal something.
Cass (signing): Dick tried to do that a while ago and got yelled at by those in the kitchen.
Kara: I think it’s best not to make our chefs angry.
Steph: Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
Barbara: Kara, what does it sound like in the kitchen.
Kara (toning into the kitchen): It’s… loud. Each of them is focusing on five separate things. They’re yelling at each other, but in a nice way, giving each other tips, asking the others how certain things are going along, etc. Needless to say we’re eating well tonight.
Gordon: I’d hate to talk business during the holiday, but Luthor and Mr. Cobblepot’s new joint business venture worries me.
Bruce: Luthor’s technological prowess together with the Penguin’s mob connections are not a good mix.
Diana: I’m not well read on the finer details of the Gotham and Metropolis rouges, but is it normal for them to reach out to each other across the river?
Clark: No, they don’t, which makes this extra concerning.
Gordon: Known associates of Mr. Cobblepot have been moving trucks to and from warehouses in Gotham and Metropolis.
Bruce: I’m aware, the official papers say they’re moving rare earth metals.
Clark: Lex is rich, he doesn’t need the Penguin to move his resources.
Diana: But Lex likes to have plausible deniability before the law.
Clark: True, makes my work as a reporter harder, all I can say is that things are “alleged,” or “suspected,” and sometimes “believed.”
Gordon (smiling): Trying not to get sued for liable?
Clark: Yeah, Perry won’t be happy if I get the Daily Planet sued.
Diana: That doesn’t stop Luthor from asking you for interviews.
Clark: Luthor has acknowledged my critical articles about him. That’s why he always asks that I interview him. He considers me to be an incorruptible reporter. He considers me to be everything Superman is not.
Bruce (grinning): A few days after I had an interview with Clark, I ran into Luthor at a gala. He praised me for having Clark interview me, before going on a rant about how bad Superman is.
Gordon: How? Clark, you don’t even wear a mask. None of your family members do.
Clark: Ah yes, the dorky Daily Planet reporter from Kansas, Clark Kent, is secretly the great and powerful Superman.
Diana: Fair enough, but what about Kara and your sons?
Clark: Kara keeps up her own act, as for Kon and Jon they look very different in and out of suit, not to mention they both change their voices.
Gordon: Kryptonians can change their voice?
Clark (in Gordon’s voice): One of our many powers.
Bruce: He’s used it to stand in for me on several occasions.
Gordon: He has!?
Clark (in Batman’s voice): I am vengeance, I am the night.
Bruce: Honestly Gordon, you should know a good act can separate a hero from their civilian form. Remember that one time I said I was Batman on life TV and everyone in the audience laughed at me.
Gordon: At least you wear a mask Bruce, the cowl covers most of your face, except your mouth.
Diana (laughing): I feel we’re getting off topic.
Gordon: Ok, let’s enjoy our holiday, tomorrow we can deal with Luthor and Mr. Cobblepot.
Clark: Yes, today is our day off.
Bruce: Criminals don’t take days off.
Diana: Bruce, do I need to get Alfred?
Clark: He won’t be happy.
Bruce: I didn’t start this conversation, James did!
Gordon: Let’s leave Alfred alone, I rather not face his fury.
Bruce: Ok, no crime fighting today, just a nice dinner with our families.
Clark & Diana: That’s the spirit!
Alfred: Alright how are we all doing?
Ma Kent: Everything looks great over here Alfred.
Jason: I’m almost done with everything.
Pa Kent: Same over here.
Bernard: I think we might have gone a little overboard.
Ivy: Well at least we won’t need to cook for next Thanksgiving, all this food will easily last us a year.
Jason: How does the turkey look?
All five of them moved to the oven housing the turkey.
Ma Kent: Smells divine.
Ivy: Looks like the main attraction is almost ready to leave the oven.
Pa Kent: We should tell the others to start setting the table.
Bernard: I got it.
Alfred: Thank you, Bernard.
Bernard removed his apron and walked into the living room towards Tim and Kon who were still getting destroyed at Mario Kart.
Bernard: Wow, Duke is wiping the floor with you guys.
Kon: Damn, thanks for the encouragement, dude.
Tim: How are things in the kitchen love?
Barnard: We’re finishing up, can you guys tell the others to start preparing the table.
Tim: We got it, don’t worry.
Tim leaned towards Bernard and kissed him.
Tim: Tomato?
Bernard: I’m making my grandma’s tomato soup.
Kon: Can I?
Bernard leaned down and kissed Kon.
Kon: That does taste nice, I’m getting some of that soup during dinner.
Bernard: No one’s getting any dinner if the table is not set.
Bernard walked over to Duke.
Bernard: Make sure everyone knows about the table.
Duke: Got it.
Kon (having overheard with his super-hearing): Come on Bernard, have some confidence in us.
Bernard: I do; I’m just making sure. See you guys at dinner.
Bernard took his leave heading back to the kitchen.
As everyone moved to the dining room to prepare the table, Ra’s remained brooding in the armchair he had claimed. He did not want to be here, he had stuff to do back at the League, people to “take care” of. Still the smell of food flowing from the kitchen was making his mouth water a little, perhaps it won’t all be bad.
Still, he ever so slightly smiled as his grandson walked over… hand-in-hand with the Kryptonian boy.
Damian: Good afternoon grandfather.
Ra’s: Damian; and you must be Jon.
Jon: Hello sir, nice to meet you.
Ra’s studied the boy, black hair, purple eyes, same height as Damian, slight muscular build, and if he was not mistaken Jon was just ten days older than Damian.
Since Ra’s and Talia arrived at the manor he had kept Damian in his line of sight, and all-day Damian and Jon had been by each other’s side. And for the last hour and a half they had been resting against each other on the couch while watching the parade on TV. Which was odd to say the least, Damian despised physical contact, especially prolonged contact, only a hand few of people were except from this, Ra’s himself, Talia, Jason, Alfred, and Selina, anybody else who surely get stabbed for initiating or prolonging physical contact. Yet Damian seemed to actively be prolonging his closeness to Jon… well Damian was twelve now, it makes sense he would start making… certain attachments.
Ra’s thought for a moment, having a Kryptonian in the family wouldn’t be a bad idea, it would strengthen the bloodline. Ra’s smiled, having superpowered great-grandchildren in a decade or so didn’t sound too bad. Perhaps he could steal that one bald multibillionaire guy’s cloning technology, what was his name? Luthor? Yes, Ra’s would steal it and keep it for Damian should he and Jon wish to use it, that was how Jon’s older brother came to be after all.
Ra’s: Good to finally meet you Jon, Damian speaks highly of you.
Damian: My praises of Jon are, if anything, greatly understated. He is the greatest partner I could have asked for, and one day will make a great Superman.
Jon: I can say much the same for Dami, he never disappoints, one day he will make a great Batman.
Ra’s: Good to hear, now what can I do for you kids?
Damian: I want you to tell Jon one of your stories.
Jon: Damian has told me some you’ve told him, but I want to hear one from you.
Ra’s (smiled): Really? You want to hear one of my old stories?
Both boys nodded.
Ra’s: Very well.
Ra’s gestured for the boys to sit. Damian and Jon sat on the floor in front of Ra’s, still holding hands.
Ra’s: To make this interesting for you habibi, I’ll tell a story you’ve never heard.
Damian and Jon leaned forwards with anticipation.
Ra’s: The year was 1720, it had been two years since Blackbeard died in battle. I was never close with the man, but still considered him, a friend, if not a trusted ally. We did business once, I was searching for a little pest and was having trouble locating him, then I met Blackbeard and he offered to help me. Soon after that I found the little pest, for his assistance I offered Blackbear a wish, that he could ask me for anything and I would do everything in my power to grant it. A few months after that he died. It would be two years later that a peculiar letter arrived, a letter written by Blackbeard only to be given to me two years after he died, given he had an “unfortunate departure.” I was intrigued and opened the letter, inside was a short note and a map of the Caribbean. The letter read:
“Dear Ra’s, if you’re reading this it means that I am dead and have been dead for two years. By no means are you obligated to grant the wishes of a dead man, but I call upon that favor you owe me. You see I always wished to be buried at sea with all my treasures, but if you’re reading this then it likely didn’t happen. So, what I wish to ask is that you retrieve my body, and my treasures, their location is marked on the map, and then take my body and treasures to the second location marked on the map, and bury me with my treasures there. Your friend, Edward.”
Ra’s chuckled.
Ra’s: I, ever a man of my word, went about fulfilling the wish. His treasures were easy enough to find with the map, a small island in the Sabana-Camagüey archipelago just north of the island of Cuba. His body on the other hand was a harder mission, see he was beheaded, his head taken to prove his death. Took my team and I four months to track both parts of his body. Once in my possession of I used my powers to reattach the head, poor man did not deserve to be beheaded. With his body and treasures in hand I travelled to the other spot marked on the map, a random bit of sea between modern day Miami, San Juan, and Bermuda. I placed his body and treasures on a small boat and sunk it, letting the sea claim Blackbeard. After that I placed a curse on that stretch of sea, making sure Blackbeard would forever rest in peace.
Damian and Jon looked at Ra’s in astonishment.
Damian: You knew Blackbeard?
Jon: You created the Bermuda Triangle!?
Ra’s: Yes, and yes.
Talia: Telling the kids some of your old stories father?
Ra’s: The kids asked.
Talia: Well, the dinner table’s ready, and the food is about to be brought out, so let’s get going to the kitchen.
Damian and Jon got up.
Jon: Thank you for the story, Mr. al Ghul.
Ra’s: Call me Ra’s, any ally of my grandson, is an ally of mine.
Damian: Let’s go Jon, before anyone claims the best seats.
Jon: Race you there!
Damian (smiling): You’re on!
Damian and Jon ran out of the room towards the dining room.
Talia (looking at Ra’s): Still think this whole party was a farse?
Ra’s: I admit it’s always nice to see Damian, and the food smells divine.
Talia: And Jon?
Ra’s: Jon and Damian clearly care for each other, and from what I know they make a good team as the Supersons. When they decide to pursue their relationship beyond a platonic nature, I’ll be happy to welcome Jon into the family.
Talia (smiling): When, not if?
Ra’s: Clearly, it’s a question of when, anyone can see that.
Talia (laughed): I’m giving it another year max before they start dating.
Ra’s: The boys met shortly after Damian arrived here, right?
Talia: Yes, when I dropped Damian off two years ago, Bruce wanted him to have a friend, so he asked Clark to arrange a play date with Jon. At first Damian thought Jon was annoying, and Jon thought Damian was rude, but the two quickly formed a bond after going on a mission together. Two months after first meeting, they were best friends.
Ra’s: And their current inseparability?
Talia: That’s new, from what Bruce tells me it started about three months ago.
Ra’s: Well, if anything their relationship is adorable.
Talia: It is.
Ra’s: Is there any chance they’re already dating in secret?
Talia: I asked Lois, Selina, and Alfred, but they doubt that’s the case. They think that three months ago, when the whole “inseparability” thing as you call it started, is when they developed their crushes on each other. They also think that both boys know they like each other but are not ready to confront those feelings yet.
Ra’s: Understandable, the boys are just twelve, if the boys are happy being best friends who hold hands and cuddle on the couch for the time being, then who are we to object?
Talia: We just need to give them time to work through their feelings.
Talia smiled.
Talia: My little boy is all grown up and has a crush.
Ra’s: Indeed, habibi has grown a lot.
Talia: I’m going to enjoy having Jon as a son-in-law someday.
Ra’s: Yes, Jon will be a great asset to the League.
Talia (raising an eyebrow): Is that what this is about?
Ra’s: No, Damian cares for Jon, and I want to see Damian happy, the benefits Jon will bring Damian as the future head of the League of Assassins, is purely secondary in nature.
Talia: Please father, don’t do anything dumb.
Ra’s: I swear on my name I won’t do anything to intervene with Damian and Jon’s relationship.
Talia: Ok, now get up from that armchair and let’s go to the dining room.
Ra’s got up from the armchair.
Ra’s: Very well.
As Talia and Ra’s walked to the dining room they stopped as they saw the whole party standing outside the doors.
Talia: What’s going on?
Bruce: Our lovely chefs locked us out of the dining room as they bring the food to the table.
Lois: As soon as we finished setting the table, Ma Kent kicked us all out and locked the doors.
Diana: Your mother is a formidable woman Clark, she would have made a great Amazon.
Clark: She would have.
Kara: You should see how mom deals with the misbehaving animals on the farm, especially my cousin.
Clark: Hey!
Kon: Aunt Kara is not wrong dad; one look form grandma and you start behaving.
Clark: You’re all lucky, I love you.
Dick: I’m so hungry, I wish they hurried.
Kory: Patience is a virtue, Richard.
Steph: I agree with Dick, the manor has smelled like heaven for hours.
Duke: Just a minute or two more.
Tim: Kon, what do you hear?
Kon: Well, they’ve been moving back and forth from the kitchen, but most of the noise has died down. I think they’re just about done.
Damian: How about you Jon?
Jon: Alfred just asked Jason to bring the turkey to the table!
Kara: Ma is coming to the door, everyone act casual!
A second later Ma Kent opened the door and let everyone in. As everyone walked in they took in awe at the arrangement of dishes on the table, with the turkey as the crowning jewel in the center of the table.
Alfred: Good evening, everyone, please do take your seats.
Everyone slowly made their way around the table, fully taking in all the food, and took their seats.
Alfred: Martha, Johnathan, Jason, Ivy, Bernard, and I have prepared a delectable feast for all of you tonight. From the menu I made the smashed potatoes with garlic, spaghetti, the stuffing, the dinner buns, and the pumpkin pie.
Ma Kent: I made the oven roasted potatoes, the panzanella salad, roasted brussels sprouts, cranberry sauce, and the apple pie.
Pa Kent: I made sweet potato casserole, kale salad, fruit salad, roasted root vegetables, and corn bread.
Jason: I made salmon, beef chili, white rice, black beans, and garlic knots.
Ivy: From me you have deviled eggs, ham, bacon, lobster, and oysters.
Bernard: And from me the sautéed green beans, tomato basil soup, stuffed mushrooms, ratatouille, and molten chocolate lava cake.
Alfred: And we all had a hand in the making of the turkey.
The chefs took their seats.
Gordon: You guys really went above and beyond with dinner.
Jade: How are we supposed to eat all of this?
Selina: We’re all going to have plenty of leftovers to take home.
Ma Kent: Well, enough just eyeing the food, dig in everyone, bon appétit!
Everyone started digging into the food, forks and knives flying back and forth, dishes being passed from one end of the table to the other.
Kon: Bernard, your grandma’s tomato soup recipe is amazing.
Tim: My boyfriend is an amazing cook.
Bernard: Thank you, guys.
Kon: What’s in this?
Bernard: Mostly tomatoes, the rest is a family secret.
Tim: Come on Bernard, you can trust us.
Kon: We can keep the recipe secret.
Bernard: Not a chance guys.
Tim: Perhaps we can make a deal.
Kon: We do something for you, and you tell us the recipe.
Bernard (smiling): There are children at the table. Besides I doubt any of us will have the energy required for what you two are proposing after we’re down eating. I see a food coma in our future.
Kon: We can just cuddle then, as we enjoy a nice long nap.
Tim: I vote for cuddling.
Bernard: We can cuddle, but I’m not telling any of you the recipe. That’s something only our kids will know.
Kon: Our kids?
Tim: You want to have kids!?
Bernard: Well, the three of us have been together for two years, have known each for far longer, I personally think we’re ready.
Tim: I could steal Luthor’s cloning technology.
Kon: I would love to have a kid with both of you, but we don’t even live together. Perhaps we should move in together and pick up the topic in six months or so.
Bernard: Yeah, you’re right, we should get used to living together before we have a kid. I vote we live in Metropolis, I love Gotham, but Metropolis has better daycares and preschools.
Tim: I can buy us a penthouse in Metropolis, I am a multimillionaire in my own right and stand to inherit tens of billions from Bruce one day, so as far as finances go, we’re more than ready for a kid.
Bernard: What will the kid’s last name be, Kent, Drake, Wayne, or Dowd?
Kon: We could hyphenate.
Bernard: Four names?
Tim: Well, if we’re thinking about the future the name Wayne will open most doors so I think it should go first.
Kon: I think Drake should come first followed by Wayne, if anything just to match your name Tim, Drake-Wayne, it wouldn’t make much sense if your kid had it the other way around.
Bernard: I agree with Kon on that, besides the Drake name will open just as many doors.
Kon: As for Kent and Dowd, those names won’t mean much to most people.
Tim: You two should rock, paper, scissors for it, best of three.
Bernard and Kon looked at each other, shrugged, and started playing, Bernard won the first round, Kon the second, and lastly Kon won the tie breaking round.
Tim: Drake-Wayne-Kent-Dowd it is.
Bernard: Poor kid is going to have the longest last name in the world.
Kon: Kids, I want multiple.
Tim: As a son of Bruce Wayne, it is my sacred duty to eventually adopt at least one child.
Bernard: Are we going to slap our hyphenated name behind the kid’s birth last name?
Kon: In the spirit of the Wayne legacy of adoption, I think that any kids we adopt should only get the Wayne name, if they want any of our other names they can decide on a case-by-case basis.
Tim: That’s probably for the best.
Kon: Tomorrow we’re looking at penthouses.
Tim: Only the best for my loves.
Kory: Richard these stuffed mushrooms are amazing! We need to ask Bernard to make them for the wedding.
Ivy: How are preparations going?
Dick: Great, we don’t have a solid date yet, but we’re thinking early April.
Harley: Just in time for spring, how lovely.
Duke: Dick has taken over a family room in the west wing of the manor and filled it with wedding ideas, themes, colors, cakes, you name it.
Dick: It’s called being proactive.
Harley: I want to see this room.
Ivy: What about flowers? I can help with the flowers; I can be your wedding florist.
Kory: Really? Thank you, Ivy, we can arrange to talk about flowers another day.
Ivy: Happy to help.
Harley: Duke dear, have you found anyone special?
Dick: Well recently he’s being talking about a girl from his biology class, Ana.
Duke (blushing): Ana and I are interested in each other, we’ve gone on a few dates, we’ve kissed, but we’re not officially dating yet. She’s currently enjoying Thanksgiving with her family.
Ivy: Duke, I think you and Ana have gone beyond being “interested” in each other. Are you sure you’re not dating yet?
Duke …I don’t think so.
Dick: Duke… little brother.
Duke: I never asked her to be my girlfriend, nor has she asked me to be her boyfriend!
Kory: Are you two exclusive?
Duke: I- yes.
Harley: Duke sweetheart, you may want to have a talk with your Ana.
Duke (sweating bullets): Ok.
Ivy (noticing Duke’s uncomfortableness): Kory, have you picked a wedding dress yet?
Kory: I haven’t, there’s so many choices.
Harley: What do brides normally wear on Tamaran?
Kory: Both the bride and the groom normally wear their finest armor.
Ivy: That sounds amazing.
Kory: It is, but not very traditional here on Earth, but I don’t mind I want to wear a beautiful dress, but not white, white is too basic, I want my dress to be full of color.
Dick: You’ll look beautiful no matter what you wear.
Duke: And Dick here is going in a boring old tux.
Dick: I haven’t picked anything yet; I can still spicy my suit up.
Duke: Whatever the case, I expect to have a nephew or niece by January of ’27.
Dick (spitting out his drink): Excuse me!?
Kory: Don’t worry Duke, we will put our full effort to the endeavor once we’re married.
Dick: We will!? Ok.
Duke: Lian is cute and all, but I want more niblings to spoil.
Ivy: Another member of the Wayne clan, soon enough the kid will be wearing a Robin suit if Bruce has anything to say about it.
Harley: I think it’s lovely. Ivy and I have been thinking about adopting but given our criminal records that might be a little hard, so as a backup plan we might just break into LexCorp and steal Luthor’s cloning technology.
Dick: So, the plan for not being able to adopt due to your criminal records, is committing another crime to make a child in a tube?
Ivy: Yes.
Dick: Fair enough, but you could ask Bruce to pull a few strings, I’m sure he can have any adopting agency look the other way.
Harley: Dick, do you really think it’s a good idea to bring your father anywhere near an adoption agency?
Duke: Please don’t do that.
Dick: I agree with Harley, but Duke, you were literally adopted five months ago.
Duke: And I’m already tired of all of you, I don’t need another sibling.
Ivy: Yeah, I think it’s best not to bring Bruce around an adoption agency, he’ll leave with several new children.
Jade: Lian seems to be enjoying Alfred’s spaghetti.
Jason: Best you will find outside an Italian restaurant.
Roy: If anything, I’m worried she’s eating too quickly. Remember to chew your food baby.
Jason: She also took a liking to Ivy’s ham.
Jade: For one I love the rice and beans you made Jason, they go perfectly with Mrs. Kent’s potatoes.
Jason: Thank you, Jade.
Roy: Lian is growing so fast.
Jade: She is, soon the world will kneel before her.
Roy: We Titans don’t make anyone kneel before us Jade.
Jason: Um, no, she’s either joining the Outlaws or my gang, not the Titans.
Jade: You’re both wrong, she’s joining the League of Assassins.
Roy: Babe, I love Artemis and Bizarro, but Lian is not joining us as an Outlaw. Nor is she becoming an assassin, Jade.
Jade: Well, she’s not joining the Titans.
Jason: When she’s old enough to start her superhero journey I’m sure she’ll make the right decision.
Roy: Yes, she’ll be most welcomed in at Titan Tower.
Jade: You mean the League of Assassins headquarters.
Jason: She could always do all four.
Roy: Ah yes, Lian, the Titan-Outlaw-Assassin-Red Hood gang member.
Jade: She’ll carry on all our legacies.
Roy: Cheers to that.
They clicked glasses.
Jade: Jason, are you still calling your organization a gang? It’s basically just a charity that works slightly outside the letter of the law.
Jason: A) We work within the law; we simply stretch the law to its limit. And B) I like calling it a gang, it makes us look tough.
Roy: Babe, you run soup kitchens, food pantries, homeless shelters, and now you’re working to establish an art school, your gang is not scary.
Jason: We have enforcers! We rough people up.
Jade: You’re opening an art school?
Jason: I’ve always enjoyed the arts, mostly literature, and I want to spread that with the kids of Gotham. My new school will offer classes in drawing, literature, photography, poetry, architecture, dance, theatre, music, cinematography, etc.
Jade: That’s ambitious.
Jason: Well with help from a sponsor who donated five hundred million dollars to the project we bought a plot of land just outside the city. The school is currently being constructed, we’ve been looking for teachers, and if everything goes to plan, we should be opening our doors by August of next year.
Jade: Really? And pray tell who is this generous sponsor?
Jason: They asked to remain anonymous till the school opened; we’re naming the library in their honor.
Roy: Ah yes, an “anonymous” donor.
Jade: Do any of us know any multibillionaires?
Jason: I don’t think so.
They all laughed.
Jade: That’s very nice of Bruce.
Jason: Yeah, the old man has always been supportive of any projects we birds pick up.
Jade: Have you started doing early admissions yet?
Jason: No, we have not. If you’re asking for Lian one of the rules we already agreed to is that all students must be at least three years old.
Jade: We?
Jason: The committee that will be running the school. It’s made up of members of my gang with educational backgrounds, including myself.
Jade: I always forget you have a doctorate in literature.
Jason: Bruce wishes he could forget; I’ve never seen him more proud and yet disappointed in me as the day I got my doctorate.
Roy: It’s even funnier because you didn’t tell anyone you were getting a doctorate till you invited everyone to your graduation.
Jason: Yeah, that breakfast was crazy, my siblings’ reactions were all over the place, Bruce looked devastated, and Alfred was so happy to have another doctor in the family. Jokes aside Bruce was genuinely happy for me. But still, I love to see his face every time someone calls me “Dr. Todd-Wayne” at a gala, charity auction, or whatever rich people event we’re going to.
Jade: Well as soon as Jade is old enough to attend your school, I want her in.
Jason: Don’t worry she will.
Roy: Well enough about the art school, how have you been Jade? Heard that recently you’ve been in France a lot, any reason for that?
Jade (blushing): Well, I’ve just had a lot to do in France recently, orders from Master Ra’s… but it also helps that I’ve recently become acquainted with a vigilante in Provence.
Jason: “Acquainted?”
Jade: We’re friends, we’ve gone to the movies, he’s taken me to dinner, we’re taking things slow.
Roy: You should bring him over.
Jade: We are not there yet. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hiding anything from him. He knows about Lian, he knows that you and I never dated, that Lian was the result of a drunken one-night stand, he knows about Jason being your boyfriend, but we’re not at “introducing you to my daughter” stage yet.
Jason: Don’t worry Jade, you and you’re French boytoy can take things as slowly as you want.
Jade: Please don’t call my… whatever he is to me my “boytoy.”
Roy: What's his name?
Jade: Frédéric Côté, otherwise known as the Midnight Phenix.
Jason: Now that’s a superhero name.
Roy: Is he ok with you being a mother?
Jade: He is, he’s made it clear that’s he’s happy to, if we do get there someday, be a stepfather to Lian. But again, we are not at the point where I want to introduce him to Lian yet.
Jason: Is Frédéric also part of a superhero organization?
Jade: Luckily not, he works with other heroes in France, Switzerland, and Italy, but there is no formal organization, so there is not another organization that Lian has to join in the future.
Roy: Thank goodness, imagine poor Lian having to balance responsibilities to five organizations.
Jason: Hey this is Lian we’re talking about she can do anything.
Jade: That she can.
Roy: Another round of cheers for Lian?
They all raised their glasses and clicked them together.
Gordon: I must admit being associated with Batman has placed me in many strange situations but never have I dined with an immortal assassin.
Ra’s: Most haven’t.
Barbara: Dad, be nice, Mr. al Ghul rarely visits Damian.
Gordon: Apologies, I didn’t mean to offend.
Ra’s: I-
Talia: Don’t worry James, no offence taken. Few are not taken aback when meeting my father.
Ra’s: I don’t get out much besides official League business, it has been a while since I’ve attended a dinner such as this.
Gordon: What kind of business requires the head of the League to get his hands dirty?
Ra’s: Heavy business: treason, associates who dared not uphold their end of a deal, someone who personally slandered my name or that of my family, etc.
Gordon: I see.
Ra’s: My daughter convinced me to attend this dinner, saying I should see Damian more often.
Talia: I threatened to string him up like Mussolini if he refused.
Ra’s: That too.
Barbara: I understand the feeling, Talia, do you have any idea how hard it is to convince my dad to take a day off?
Gordon: I take days off.
Barbara: Yeah, I just have to pester you for a whole day before you agree.
Talia: Fathers.
Barbara: Fathers.
Ra’s: Ok, now I feel personally attacked.
Gordon: I agree with Ra’s, I may be stubborn, but I’m not that bad.
Barbara: A few months ago, you tried to go to work with a fever, and a high fever at that.
Talia: And you father, we may have the Lazarus pit, but that does not give you a pass to jump into an erupting volcano.
Ra’s: It was a minor eruption!
Talia: We don’t jump into erupting volcanoes!
Barbara: And when we have a fever, we call off work sick.
Ra’s: Our daughters are rather ungrateful James; we do so much for them and they criticize us.
Gordon: Indeed. How about we talk about their reckless actions?
Ra’s: Ha! I remember when my Talia was just 14, she decided to go AWOL for a mission in Brazil, leaving a note behind, offering no hint to where she was going. She reappeared two months later in Liechtenstein of all places, having just “taken care of” a very dangerous man who she felt had wronged me.
Gordon: One time when Barbara and I went for a camping trip with some friends she wondered away from camp. We all started panicking, we were deep in the woods, any number of things could have happened. I found her two hours later sleeping peacefully in a small cave, cuddling with a grizzly bear and her cubs. I had never or have since run faster in my life than I did taking Barbara out of that cave.
Talia: I- that man was insulting you to your allies. I had a responsibility to protect the family name.
Barbara: And that mama bear was very nice, as were the cubs.
Gordon: This tale of Talia explains a lot about Damian.
Ra’s: Yes, habibi inherited Talia’s reckless behavior, doesn’t help that Bruce Wayne is his father. Still, I take some responsibility as his grandfather, I too was rather reckless in my youth. What about you James? Your daughter take after you?
Gordon: In many ways yes, but most of her recklessness she got from my dear Eileen. My wife spent much of her schooldays in the principal’s office.
Barbara: Mom always talked about her meetings with her principal with a smile on her face.
Gordon (smiling): That she did.
Lois: Ma you’ve outdone yourself.
Ma Kent: Thank you my dear.
Clark: Ma’s apple pie is the best.
Pa Kent: That apple pie won my heart.
Ma Kent: Oh hush.
Diana: How long have you two been married?
Pa Kent: We’ve been married for thirty-five years.
Ma Kent: I still remember our wedding like it was yesterday.
Diana: How did you two meet?
Clark: Good Lord here we go again.
Lois: Clark! It’s a lovely story.
Clark: One I’ve heard a thousand times.
Lois: Well Diana’s never heard it.
Ma Kent: You can’t really be interested in the tales of two old folks dear.
Diana: Nonsense, I’d love to hear it.
Pa Kent: It was the summer of 1990, May to be specific. I was twenty years old. Some of my friends and I decided to spend the day at the yearly Smallville summer festival. I didn’t plan on doing much, enjoy some carnival food, play some games, but then everyone started gathering in the town center. A pie making competition. The contestants were most old ladies, some middle-aged housewives, except one. When I saw this young lady everything around me faded away and my heart started beating like a war drum. After the judges tasted all the pies they declared their victor, the young lady, Martha.
Ma Kent: I was surprised at having won, it was my first year in the competition, the other women looked like they were about to kill me where I stood. Anyways I was given the blue first place ribbon and left the stage as with my pie. It was then this dashing young man approached me. Poor guy was stumbling over his words, but he was cute, so I offered him some pie.
Pa Kent: The pie was amazing.
Ma Kent: We talked for hours till the sun began to set. I told him that I should be going, less my parents worry about me.
Pa Kent: And I asked her to join me tomorrow, so we could enjoy the carnival together. And she agreed.
Ma Kent: I put on my best dress that day, he showed up in his best overalls, very handsome.
Pa Kent: We spent the day running around the carnival.
Ma Kent: We ended our day at a drive-thru movie theater, watching a showing of the first Back to the Future film.
Pa Kent: The summer flew by, and by August I was down on one knee.
Ma Kent: Our wedding was small, but it was perfect.
Pa Kent: Then a few months later a baby basket crash-landed in our fields. Marth and I had talked about children, but once we had Clark in our arms, we decided he was enough.
Ma Kent: And now we have a daughter in Kara, and two amazing grandsons.
Diana: It’s a beautiful story.
Clark (smiling): It is.
Steph: Do you hear any good tea, Kara?
Cass: Do tell.
Kara: There’s a family in Pennsylvania, they are currently arguing about football, it looks like half of them support the Pittsburgh Steelers and the other half the Philadelphia Eagles. And- oh goodness someone just threw a glass of wine in someone else’s face.
Cass: Violence!
Steph: Anything happening in Florida? Floridians are their own brand of crazy.
Kara: Over by Saint Augustine some idiots tried to deed fry a turkey and instead started a fire which resulted in the fire department being called.
Cass: Property damage?
Kara: Just some lawn furniture.
Steph: That’s good, though not a little boring.
Kara: In Oregon, some cousins decided to take a walk before dinner and now they’re all high as a kite. The adults are not happy.
Cass: Nice.
Steph: Anything by Texas?
Kara: A family was planning on having their dinner outside, until their cows decided they wanted to take a walk through the tent they set up. A lot of food was lost.
Cass: The cows are innocent.
Steph: They were framed.
Kara: They must be, my ears must be deceiving me.
They laughed.
Kara: So how long do you think it’ll take till someone throws a handful of food at someone else?
Steph: I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet.
Cass (signing): Tim will throw food at Jason.
Kara: The replacement thing?
Steph: No, the whole replacement thing is a joke by now. Tim wears it like a badge of honor, and Jason is proud of Tim. I’d guess Harley is going to bring up Bruce dropping out from medical school and Bruce will charge across the table.
Cass (signing): Sounds like something dad would do, but with Alfred so close dad will think twice before misbehaving.
Steph: True.
Kara: How about Kon and Jon, they know how to get each other’s skin.
Cass (signing): If Kon starts anything Damian will immediately kill him, no kryptonite needed, and if Jon starts anything Tim will take a shard of kryptonite from who knows where and stab Jon.
Steph: It’ll be a bloodbath regardless.
Kara: Good entertainment.
Steph: Maybe we should start something.
Cass (signing): Alfred is right across from us, that is a very bad idea. We’ll get a cookie ban.
Kara: Are you going to leave room for dessert? You’ve been eating Pa’s kale salad like there’s no tomorrow.
Cass: It’s delicious!
Steph: All the food is delicious, especially Ivy's deviled eggs, I don't know what she put in them, put they are delicious.
Kara: We need to steal some of Bernard’s molten chocolate lava cake before it’s all gone. It smells divine.
Steph: I think I can reach it, give me a moment.
Selina: This turkey is amazing, especially alongside your stuffing Alfred.
Alfred: Thank you, Miss Selina. I must say this is the best Thanksgiving we’ve had in years.
Bruce: That it is. It makes me so happy to see everyone together. And with no bloodshed at that. Knowing my children I’m surprised no one’s been picked up and thrown out a window.
Alfred: You should have more confidence in the young masters and misses, Master Bruce; you’ve raised them well.
Bruce: Thank you, dad.
Selina: Your children are well behaved Bruce, I hardly understand why you’re so critical of them.
Bruce: They behave when you, Alfred, Clark, Lois, Diana, Ma Kent, and Pa Kent are around, but if it’s just me they behave like the feral children they truly are.
Alfred: I remember you were quite feral as a child too, son. You always gave Master Thomas and Miss Martha so much trouble.
Bruce (smiled): Mom enjoyed me in tormenting you and dad.
Alfred: That she did. You and she drove your father insane, he loved it.
Selina (laughing): What did they do?
Alfred: All sorts of things. Hiding behind furniture to scare him, adding extra spices into his food, mismatching his socks, adding hair dye to his shampoo, there are several pictures of Thomas with his hair in all sorts of colors.
Bruce: You’re talking like dad didn’t get his revenge plenty of times.
Alfred: And I helped him out every time.
Bruce: And now you help my kids pull pranks on me.
Alfred: They’re my grandchildren, I can’t say no to them. Your parents would have done the same.
Bruce: I don’t even want to imagine what pranks mom would have pulled alongside the kids.
Alfred: Pure chaos.
Bruce: That sounds right.
Selina: Ok, but what did Thomas do to get back at Martha and Bruce?
Alfred: I remember this one time after Bruce and Martha intercepted a donut delivery order and changed the filling from jelly to custard. Thomas hated custard and was in for a nasty surprise when he bite into it.
Bruce (reddening slightly): Dad, please no.
Selina (grinning): Oh, this is good, isn’t it?
Alfred (chucked): It is. So, after biting into the “evil donut of betrayal” as Thomas called it, he schedule a photoshoot for Martha and Bruce.
Bruce (hiding his face): Noooo!
Alfred: Martha was dressed in this puke-green dress she was randomly gifted one time with Bruce next to her in a sailor’s uniform.
Selina: Where’s the photo!?
Alfred: There’s a copy hanging in the family room of the east wing, first floor.
Selina: Really? Babe, if you dislike the picture why do you keep it up?
Bruce: Because I love it. It was the perfect revenge. I’ll show you the picture after dinner.
Selina: Thank you love.
Jon: Dami, you have to taste Ma’s cranberry sauce!
Jon held out a spoonful of cranberry sauce.
Damian: Really Jon? I’m not a little kid, I can grab it myself.
Jon: I’m older than you.
Damian: By ten days! That’s nothing! You may be older, but also more immature.
Jon: Don’t hate me for being more fun.
Damian: Whatever.
Damian allowed Jon to feed him the cranberry sauce.
Damian: …It’s delicious.
Jon: Knew you’d like it.
Damian: Well, now you have to have some of Ivy’s lobster. I must ask her to share her recipe with Alfred.
Damian took a forkful of his lobster and guided it to Jon. Jon ate it.
Jon: It’s nice.
Damian: And as always Jason’s salmon is perfect.
Damian took a forkful of the lobster and guided it to Jon. Jon ate it.
Jon: I’m not a seafood guy, but it’s good.
Damian: Sea food is amazing!
Jon: Says the pescatarian.
Damian: That does not make me biased, it’s simply a fact. I just can’t see myself eating land animals, I understand how most people do, but someone like you who lives among animals, how do you do it?
Jon: I’ll admit I’m always sad to see on of our cows, chickens, or sheep killed, but that’s just life. Through our technological advancements we’ve placed ourselves on top of the food chain.
Damian: I just can’t imagine eating an animal I helped raise.
Jon: You would have hated living through most of history till about… 200 years ago.
Damian: Can’t argue with that.
Jon: Ok, you have to taste Bernard’s stuffed mushrooms, the combination of herbs and spices are great.
Jon picked up a stuffed mushroom and guided it towards Damian. Damian took a bite.
Damian: That’s a good combination of several spices… Jon, I don’t mean offence, but how are you not dying? You’re from the Midwest. How does Bernard know to make them for that matter?
Jon: We Kents like our spice.
Jon ate the other half of the stuffed mushroom.
Jon: Ma prides herself on her usage of spices. Not sure about Bernard.
Damian: You must come with me to the League of Assassins sometime, my mom makes a killer curry.
Jon: Was that a pun?
Damian (proudly): Yes.
Jon: I’d enjoy that Dami.
Damian scanned the table and noticed that Bernard’s cake was mostly gone.
Damian: There’s only one slice left.
Damian reached over the table and grabbed the last slice.
Damian: Would you like to share?
Jon: Sure!
The two boys started eating the cake.
Jon: Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you and your family come over to Kansas for Christmas?
Damian: Really?
Jon: Of course! It’ll be great! I’m sure Ma and Pa will enjoy hosting everyone.
Damian: Can you even? I like your farmhouse, but it’s not large enough for all of us.
Jon: We can make it work. I’ll just have to ask.
Damian: Well, if the arrangements are made, I’ll enjoy spending Christmas with you.
Everyone finished their dinner and began to get up from the table.
Pa Kent: That was a lovely dinner.
Alfred: Your corn bread was good Jonathan
Pa Kent: Thank you, Alfred, but it was nothing compared to your pumpkin pie.
Ma Kent: You’re both good cooks.
Selina: That you are, guess I was mistaken about having leftovers. We devoured everything.
Alfred: We can put what’s left in the fridge.
Jason: I can help you out with the plate pops.
Cass: Me too.
Duke: I don’t mind helping.
Alfred: Thank you kids.
Dick: Well, I’m exhausted, I think I’ll go up to my room.
Lois: Before we all disperse, let’s take a picture.
Kory: That’s a lovely idea!
Alfred: Kon do you mind grabbing my camera? I left it in the foyer.
Kon flew out of the room and back in a flash.
Kon: Here you go Alfred.
Alfred set up the camera on the table as everyone gathered, Alfred set the camera to a ten second timer and ran to the group. After the camera took the picture Alfred looked at it.
Alfred: Came out beautifully. Those who wish to go upstairs to their rooms may.
Ma Kent (looking at the camera): You must send me a copy of that picture.
Lois: Me too.
Alfred: I’ll have several printed.
Alfred set the camera down, and as he looked up he caught Damian and Jon out of the corner of his eye.
Alfred: Master Bruce, Master Clark, it appears that Masters Damian and Jon are starting to wane.
Clark: Looks like the food coma has started to strike.
Bruce: Damian’s been up since 5am, he wanted to make sure everything was perfect.
Clark: Jon’s been up since five as well. He was too excited to sleep. Ok, Jon, let’s go home.
Jon & Damian: No!
Clark: Bud, we didn’t bring pajamas, remember? We flew here and we’re flying back to Metropolis.
Jon: No! I want to have a sleepover with Damian.
Damian: Me too.
Clark: Jon-
Bruce: It’s alright Clark, Jon can stay the night.
Clark: I- very well.
Jon and Damian ran upstairs.
Clark: Sorry about that.
Bruce: Don’t worry about it.
Ivy: Well we should be going.
Harley: Thank you for the dinner.
Selina: We really need to get together more often.
Talia: We should start a book club.
Jade: That’s a great idea.
Ivy: It is, but let’s talk about it another time, Harley had one too many drinks.
Harley: No, I did not! I’m perfectly… sober.
Jon: Dinner was amazing!
Damian: Are relatives are good cooks, it was only expected.
Jon: Are you sure about the sleepover?
Damian: Of course… I’m always happy to have you over.
Damian opened a drawer and took out a pajama set.
Damian: Here.
Jon: Thank you Dami.
Jon looked down at the pajamas and squinted.
Damian: Everything ok?
Jon: Isn’t this mine?
Damian: What?
Jon: Yes. I let you borrow this when we studied for our exam last month. After we we're down studying we decided to have a sleepover and I let you borrow one of my pajamas. Then your dad picked you up first thing in the morning, you left with my pajamas. I still have your uniform.
Damian: That’s what happened to my missing uniform! Well let’s trade, you can have your pajamas back and you can fly my uniform back in the morning.
Jon: Deal.
Damian: So how do you feel about a movie marathon?
Jon: Let’s watch the Lord of the Rings!
Damian: Extended versions?
Jon: Of course, that’s not even up for debate.
Jason (entering his room): Hey babe.
Roy: Hey, done downstairs?
Jason: Everything is clean.
Jason quickly changed and flopped on to the bed.
Roy: Come here love.
Roy wrapped his arms around Jason.
Roy: You had a long day today, let me spoil you for a bit.
Jason: Thank you. Is Lian asleep?
Roy: Jade moved the crib to her room, she wanted to spend a little time with her, plus give us the night.
Jason: I should thank her in the morning.
Roy: We should.
Jason turned around and cuddled Roy back.
Roy: Hey Jay.
Jason: Hm?
Roy: So, talking about how much Lian has grown has made me feel like wanting another one…
Jason: You want another baby!? With me?
Roy: Yes.
Jason: …I overheard Tim, Kon, and Bernard talking about stealing Luthor’s cloning technology.
Roy: We should join their heist.
Jason: I’d love to have a baby with you. Lian would make a great big sister.
Roy: Would you like a girl or a boy?
Jason: Hm, well we already have a girl, so I’d like a boy.
Roy: Sound argument.
Clark: Hey Bruce.
Bruce: Hey Clark, forget something?
Clark: No, I want to talk.
Bruce: Everything ok?
Clark: During dinner I overheard part of a conversation Damian and Jon were having.
Bruce: Should I be concerned?
Clark: Oh no, they’re not planning anything crazy.
Bruce: Ok, what did you hear?
Clark: They talked about us gathering again for Christmas dinner in Kansas. I talked to my parents and they’re willing to host.
Bruce: That’ll be great, we’d be happy to go.
Clark: Great. Thanks, buddy.
Bruce: Anything for you buddy.
Clark: Another thing through the night I heard several of us talking about stealing Luthor’s cloning technology.
Bruce: What?
Clark: Yeah, Tim, Kon, and Bernard are planning on stealing it, Harley and Ivy are too, Jason and Roy are also planning on stealing it, and I’m hearing Ra’s is currently mumbling about Luthor’s cloning technology, something about keeping it stored for Damian and Jon to use in ten years or so.
Bruce: …Goddamn.
Clark: Yeah.
Bruce: Should we intervene?
Clark: They’re all financially stable, and I doubt Ra’s will do something crazy with Damian and Jon’s DNA.
Bruce: Ra’s crazy, but not that crazy.
Bruce smiled.
Bruce: Well, if Tim, Kon, and Bernard do have a kid together it’ll make us family, we’d share a grandchild.
Clark: You’re already my brother Bruce; we’ve been family for years.
Bruce: Shut up.
Clark: Good night, Bruce.
Bruce: Good night, Clark.