Chapter Text
He was used to it at this point. The staring, the horrified looks, the quiet whispers people didn't think he could hear. Deadpool was the monster in people's stories, the big, bad, unkillable monster that would forever lurk the streets in search for someone or something to kill. He was used to it, but that didn't mean Wade didn't get lonely. He tried to fill the void with booze, chimichangas, blood, anything he could get his hands on to ease the pain for just. One. Second. Because was so sick of being on his own, he couldn't take it. Everyone he reached out to pushed him away, they found him infuriating at best and down right unbearable at worst. Maybe he would just have to get used to being alone...
There was Wade, sitting on the roof of some building in Queens, his legs dangling over the edge as he kicked them back and forth. He knew it wouldn't do him any good to jump, the only thing that would happen would be a lot of physical agony for the next year or so. Even with physical therapy, he got his ass handed to him the last time he healed after leaping off a building. "I thought I was the only person who came up here." A voice said from behind Wade, causing the mercenary to whip his head around to stare at whoever it was.
"Oh. Em. Gee. Spider-Man?!" Wade asked, his eyes widening behind his mask. "I must be dreaming, there was absolutely no way the Spider-Man is on the same rooftop as me. Wow, I'm like- a huge fan. The biggest." He said, standing up on the rooftop ledge. "I can't believe this is really happening, pinch me!"
Spider-Man looked stunned, "Oh, um, thank you..? I didn't know I had any fans."
"Pssh, duh! You look so cool kicking villain-ass, you're all like Bam! Pow! Whack! You're totally fucking awesome."
"Gee... I don't really know what to say."
"Oh, don't worry. I can do enough talking for the both of us, Spidey. Unless, of course, you don't like that. Then I can totally stop." Wade said, feeling that seed of insecurity start to grow in his chest. I can't screw this up. Spidey is nice and all, but what if I totally ruin it? I can't annoy him on our first interaction!
"No, no, no. It's fine. Normally it's so quiet up there, it's nice to have some company." Spider-Man said, waving his hands and shaking his head in a way that promptly expressed that he did not want Wade to stop talking. "I just wasn't expecting to see Deadpool, or anyone actually."
Wade blinked, dumbly. "You know about me?"
"Yeah, you've been in the papers several times. The Bugle is pretty big on mutants and stuff like that. I thought you were pretty cool, besides all the killing and stuff..."
"Aw, geez, Spidey. You're makin' me blush!" Wade said, putting his gloved hands over his masked cheeks.
"I guess I could say I'm a fan of you, then."
Wade gasped. "My hero? A fan of lil ol' me? This is the best night ever! Aside from that time I fought the Avengers- but, you wouldn't wanna hear about that..."
The white eyes on Spider-Man's suit went wide. "You fought the Avengers?!"
"Uh huh, and I totally kicked their asses." Wade looked over his shoulder, "And I don't care what Marvel Disk Wars: The Avengers has to say about it- stupid name by the way. I kicked their asses and I deserve my own anime." He whispered, not loud enough for Spider-Man to understand.
"Who are you talking to..?"
"Oh, nobody. Just the wind, Spidey."
"Uh, okayy..." The sound of screaming was heard from below them, only really startling Wade. Spider-Man's spidey-senses probably already knew about it. "Well, it was great talking to you, Deadpool. But I have to get that, duty calls."
"Yeah, hero stuff." Wade mumbled, watching Spider-Man web down to the crime. "I'll see ya later!" He shouted, watching the hero go. "...Or maybe I won't.."
Wade laid on his mattress, listening to the faint hum and racket from his barely functional ceiling fan. Why hadn't he followed after Spider-Man? Was Deadpool seriously scared of pissing off some goody-two-shoes hero? Wade didn't really know, he was starting to confuse himself. His whole shabang was pissing people off with his jokes, his loneliness was really going to ruin his reputation. All the more reason for him to find someone to put up with his bullshit, so he could keep being Deadpool. The world needed a guy like Deadpool, not Wade sitting in his crappy hideout with nothing on but his briefs. Deadpool was a hero- "Anti-hero." Kinda. Either way, he needed to get up off his ass and do something. "Yeah, no shit, Author." Okay, shut up. "I think I would do a much better job of telling the story. Since, I'm- y'know- living it." Fine. Do it. "I will."
So, there he was, sitting in his totally awesome, super secret hideout. Deadpool. The world's best mercenary ever. He had just finished doing a very successful outing where he got to meet Spider-Man. Such a lucky guy, I know right? It must be so fucking great to be Deadpool. Everyone loves him, he has tons of friends- he even kicked the Avengers' asses. Well, WRONG! Turns out, being the best guy on the planet has its downsides. Like, people get so jealous of you that they stop talking to you. 'Cause you're just so much better than them at everything they do. Like the X-men- not a very gender inclusive name, as Ryan Reynolds pointed out in my awesome movie- are so bad at their jobs. The X-Force was way better. Mainly because I was the leader, but hey, everyone played their parts. We're getting off topic here. Back to my awesomeness. Where did I leave off? Kicking the Avengers in the butt, being the best guy on the planet, meeting Spider-Man, being lonely- oh! Yes! Meeting Spider-Man. He is so into me, you could see it in his eyes. Well, his mask. How could anyone resist such a perfect creature such as Deadpool? I have a feeling that he's gonna stick around. Wink wink, nudge nudge. But, we'll just have to see. Right? Maybe in another chapter? I guess that depends on how much this guy actually writes. He doesn't have the best track record of sticking to stories once he's started them. Don't blame me for the cliffhanger, blame him! He's the guy writing this. We may never know what happens next. How tragic. Don't worry, I will personally kill him with kindness if he doesn't add another chapter. Kindness is an axe I found, but don't tell him that.