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Everything came back at once.
An unbearable feeling in her chest that she could feel even in the unconsciousness of sleep.
Pain.
Fear.
Helplessness.
Panic at the realization that they were going to lose the battle for their lives.
Adam's smile before and after murdering her friend.
Panic at the realization that her own mistakes had consequences for everyone she cared about.
Vox's mocking voice rising above her when he seemed to have won.
Panic at seeing the arrival of the angel of death who sought only revenge.
Lute's deranged laughter as she raised the sword against her girlfriend.
Panic at seeing that the executioner's weapon from heaven would also become that of hell.
The explosion that would have destroyed everything and everyone if they hadn't gathered enough power to avoid being purged from existence.
Imagining that happening was terrifying.
But even more terrifying was the thought that this could have been the last time she saw her girlfriend's face.
The person she trusted most.
Her best friend.
Her life partner.
Her true love.
The bitter cold of uncertainty crossed the darkness and intensified within her, and tears fell from the corners of her eyes before she woke up, screaming and clutching her head.
She couldn't see anything clearly, not only because of the lack of light late at night, but also because of the humidity that clouded her vision, terrified by a dream that combined everything that had been tormenting her in the days after escaping hell.
After defeating Vox and proving that redemption is possible.
Sitting in the middle of the mattress, she brought her fist to her chest, and the fingers of her other hand continued to dig into her scalp to confirm that she was awake.
That the past could no longer hurt her.
But it could.
That was evident in the crushing pressure on her chest that increased with each breath. Blonde strands of hair stuck to her face, and sweat dripped down her forehead, neck, and back.
The uncomfortable feeling of her clothes sticking to her like a second skin was overshadowed by the panic attack she was suffering.
Another of the many she had suffered in recent nights.
She closed her eyes, trying not to think about the problems that had arisen through her own fault and that had almost condemned everyone, both physically and emotionally.
She couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks, her teeth clenched and her head almost touching her knees.
“Charlie?”
Vaggi's sleepy voice helped her escape momentarily from her own mind, freezing for a couple of seconds as she felt the movement of the sheets beside her.
The touch of cautious fingers on her back prompted her to slowly turn from her hunched position until she met the gaze of the woman lying in bed.
Vaggi looked tired, as might be expected, but despite that, Charlie detected no resentment, quite the contrary.
“Another nightmare?”
Her nose ran from crying, her eyes glistened with tears, and she covered herself completely with the sheet. She nodded as she lowered her head again and felt miserable.
Only her face remained uncovered when Vaggi approached to hug her from behind, as she had done so many times in similar situations. The sleepy sigh on her ear, coupled with the caress of her warm cheek on the back of her neck, was comforting, but it also reminded her of how much she had made her girlfriend suffer.
Out of stubbornness.
Out of naivety.
Out of hypocrisy.
Her fingers wrapped around the arms that surrounded her torso as if they were an anchor to sanity; the physical demonstration of her guardian angel who once again saves her from the ghosts that represent her greatest fears.
“I'm sorry...”
“It's okay; you know I don't mind waking up with you in the night.”
“No...I don't mean just that.” She raised her head, staring at the ceiling with her eyes tightly closed and her lips tense with restrained crying. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not listening to you.”
“Charlie.”
“I'm sorry for the hurtful things I said when I got angry with you. You don't deserve anyone saying anything bad to you.”
“Honey, we already talked about this. You don't need to keep apologizing for what happened.”
“Please, Vaggi, I feel like...like...” She choked on her own increasingly agitated breathing as the guilt returned to her chest. “I feel like I have to keep repeating it until I lose my voice. I'm sorry... I'm sorry.”
Vaggi said nothing and did nothing. She remained silent for the next few minutes as her girlfriend regained control of her breathing and the spasm in her shoulders caused by anxiety.
She carefully pulled back the blanket and caressed her neck with her nose, inhaling the natural scent of her skin as she reflected on their conversation.
She doesn't hold any grudges against the woman she loves; she simply can't, which is why it's difficult for her to accept the pain that keeps pushing her to seek forgiveness when she always gives it to her.
However, what she doesn't find difficult to accept is the suffering of a person motivated by a good cause who was tormented by others who just wanted to bring her down.
She knows what it's like to be on the wrong side of the scale and she won't leave Charlie alone.
They're in this together.
Together in continuing to fight against the shadows of a reality that could have been much worse.
“It's okay, honey. I forgive you.”
The pleasant tone broke the almost melancholic silence of the bedroom.
The princess of hell sighed with relief, brought a hand to her head, and sighed again, this time from exhaustion after crying so much. The lump in her throat still burned, sweat sent shivers down her back, and her brain throbbed in pain in sync with her heart.
But she was relieved for now.
Without rushing, Vaggi helped her girlfriend lie back down on the bed, paying attention to her red eyes and the moisture covering her flushed cheeks.
Even in that state and without light to make it easier to see, Charlie is the most beautiful woman in heaven and hell in the eyes of the fallen angel who caresses her face with devotion.
“Are you feeling better?”
She smiled at the shy nod she received.
“Do you want me to get you some water?”
A shake in the head, and Vaggi knew that all both wanted was to go back to sleep.
She was about to lean down to kiss her, but the blonde girl's natural boldness made their lips meet prematurely, taking her by surprise even after a couple of seconds of intimate contact. She embraced her partner's neck, covering both with sheets without breaking the kiss that brought them back to life.
Now it was Vaggi who was breathless as they both melted into the warmth of love and gratitude. Her hands moved up and down the sides of the woman on top of her, down her lower back, shoulders, and shoulder blades. She resisted kneading her buttocks over her clothes until the temptation became too great, and Charlie smiled in the middle of the kiss.
“Right now, I don't know if you're an angel or a demon.”
“For you, I can be both.”
“Mmmm...I'd love to find out.” The taller girl's playful voice brushed against her girlfriend's parted lips, which were longing for another kiss that was slow in coming. “Thanks for saving me once again.”
“I'll save you as many times as it takes.”
“And I promise to do the same for you. I won't be an idiot anymore, I promise.”
“Are you sure? I like that you're a little idiot.”
“Vaggi!”
“I mean it in a good way, when you make funny faces and have ideas that only a crazy person would come up with.”
“You just called me an idiot and crazy in less than ten seconds.”
“Exactly, because that's how I love you, my crazy idiot.”
Charlie's fake frown disappeared as soon as Vaggi's hair tickled her nose and she let out a little laugh, followed by the softness of hands on her cheeks. She allowed herself to relax in the safety of the arms now around her neck and the legs sensually caressing her thighs.
The fear in her heartbeat that woke her in a panic attack was replaced by the excitement of what they could both do to regain the peace with which they had gone to sleep a few hours ago.
However, the sparkle in Vaggi's lone eye conveyed a myriad of emotions to Charlie and a playful glint that would surely keep them awake for quite some time.
Not even the expected fatigue from interrupted sleep seemed to dampen the desires of the princess of hell and the fallen angel to give themselves body and soul to the ultimate form of love.
Melting into each other.
Kissing as they roll around in bed.
Whispering compliments that culminate in hungry glances and slow caresses to reassure each other.
Perhaps the scars left behind after so many bad things can also bring about good things.
And one of them, the most important of all, is healing together with true love.
Healing together.
Fanart created by bilidongdong
