Work Text:
"captain!”
the cry stood out from the background noise, sounding louder than the crashing and the constant shouting from all those stationed on the bridge. he turned, eyes frantically scanning the constant flow of people for that one familiar face.
a startled yell caught his attention as the person who he’d been looking for stumbled and fall against one of the stations lining the room as another explosion rocked the ship. almost instantly he was up and out of his chair, solely focused on helping, on making sure he was okay.
all it took was a light touch on his shoulder and the male’s head was snapping up, lavender toned locks falling in front of his eyes as he stared at the captain with a frantic expression. a moment passed and the tension in the air between them dissipated, the man’s shoulders relaxing as he sighed.
“you’re okay.”
he found himself drawn into a tight hug; tufts of hair were tickling the space under his jaw and he could feel the body that was pressed against his trembling. hands clutched tightly at back of his golden uniform shirt. he could picture them, knuckles white at the intensity of which he clutched at the fabric. his own arms were trapped at his side, locked in place despite the intensity of which he wished to return the embrace.
“tae,” he started, slowly attempting to remove himself from the others grasp. “taehyung, baby, it’s okay. i’m still here.”
taehyung withdrew with a whimper, pulling back to reveal brown eyes full with tears. he looked fondly at his boyfriend, reaching out to cradle his face, thumbs running soothingly over his cheekbones. tae’s eyes slipped shut, a few tears escaping as he sniffled miserably. he leaned in, placing a lingering kiss on his forehead in an effort to calm him.
“yoongi-hyung,” came the reply, his voice quiet compared to the cacophony of noise surrounding them. “yoongi-hyung, we’re gonna be okay, right?”
the question made him pause. would they really be okay? the klingon forces attacking them surely weren’t just going to destroy their ship and then leave them stranded in a foreign solar system surrounded by constellations they had yet to map out with no way to contact home. they were going to get slaughtered, their ship ripped open by the other species’ advanced technology. some of them were going to end up being sucked out into space, their last breaths spent gazing at stars they never got to name and planets they never got to explore. the rest of them would die fighting, phasers gripped tightly in clammy hands as they hoped and prayed that their weapons would be enough to stop the klingon forces before they themselves joined the multitudes of bodies that had turned the steel floors into a sea of red and gold and blue, with splashes of crimson decorating the remaining spaces in between.
he turned his gaze back to taehyung, the expectant look he was being given making his heart skip a beat. the mix of hope and fear in his gaze was overwhelming. it made yoongi wish that he never agreed to let him join his crew. he wished that he had chosen the other med student, wished that he had insisted that tae join seokjin instead of allowing him on the enterprise. that way, he wouldn’t be here, fearing for his life and for yoongi’s. he should be safe on the other side of the galaxy.
“yeah,” he lied, the words weighing heavy on his tongue. “yeah of course we’re gonna be okay.”
he guided taehyung into one of the seats at the back of the room. namjoon, his linguistics expert, gave him a nod of acknowledgement before turning back to his screen. the headset he was wearing was full of constant klingon chatter and he attempted to translate it as fast as he could, hoping that the material he was gathering would be enough to give them an advantage in this battle.
yoongi returned to his chair in the centre of the room, the position allowing him a perfect view of the full scale destruction going on before them. their shield was starting to fail under the pressure from the opposing ship’s weapons, and it wouldn’t be soon now before it failed. the shield surrounding the klingon warship was in the same state as their own, flickering every few second or so.
he soon lost himself in his position as captain, calling orders and asking for updates on the situation. is the shield working, how long do you think it will last, how are our weapons going, any updates from the med bay. everyone was in full panic mode, himself included, however he couldn’t allow himself to get distracted. he had to protect his crew, his family, taehyung. he couldn’t just abandon them.
“sir!” an officer in front of him cried out, his eyes wide in panic as another explosion rocked the ship. screens all throughout the room flickered, system damage stemming from the latest blast. multiple shouts of outrage could be heard, along with what seemed like a quiet prayer coming from the opposite side of the room. he glanced about, lips pressed together tightly as he surveyed the damage. a harsh exclamation from in front of him returned his attention the officer. he frantically pressed at the screens, his expression one of sheer terror as he took in the flashing warnings in the corner.
“sir, our shield is at 15% and dropping fast and – fuck – auto-pilot is offline. if we get hit like that again, we could lose control of our weapons. hell, the whole fucking system could shut down.”
he could sense tae shifting in the seat behind him, could feel the pressure of his gaze on the back of his head. he swallowed thickly, a sense of dread settling in his bones and weighing him down. his movements felt sluggish, the weight of the situation sitting like an anvil on his chest. his ribs were slowly breaking underneath the pressure, his lungs and heart unable to function. fuck.
his eyes slipped shut and he took a deep breath. he knew everyone was expecting an answer from him, a solution, something that would help them get through this. he was never one for pep talks or any of that motivational bullshit, despite the fact that he knew what his crew needed. he just couldn’t do it. he couldn’t sit here and tell them that everything would be okay, that they would make it out of this alive. because they wouldn’t. they were going to die, stuck here in an unfamiliar place surrounded by chaos and destruction. they shouldn’t have to die like this. not now, not today. they should be at home, surrounded by their loved ones as they lie on their deathbed when they have old and have lived life to the fullest. they should be able to tell their grandchildren stories from their adventures among the stars, show them photographs and relics that they collected from some foreign planet in a different galaxy.
“i need to make an announcement.”
his voice came out stronger than he intended. there was no fear to be detected, no noticeable waver of stutter that would be an indicated of how truly scared he was. but he had to be strong, had to do this for his crew. he had to do this for taehyung. opening his eyes, he saw a nod from one of the closer officers, indicating for him to go ahead and speak.
“i know you’re all expecting me to motivate you, to tell you that it’s okay. that we can just leave and never come back, making our only reminder of this experience the scars we receive. but i can’t. i can’t sit here and lie to you about your lives, i can’t lie to you about your safety. there’s a high chance that we won’t make it out of this. that our ship will be lost out here today, left to float among the stars. there’s a chance that we will never make it back to our families, we may never get to tell them we love them. and i’m sorry or that. i’m sorry for failing you, for leading you into this mess when we should’ve just left when we had the chance. and i would just like to say thank you for joining me on these adventures, thank you for all these memories i now have. it has truly been an honour to work with each and every single one of you.”
he glanced at the officer in front of him, who mouthed back saying that the shield was only on 10%. fuck. he had to make this quick.
“but i’m not going to let you guys die today. not now. not like this. everyone, get to the shuttles as fast as you can. i have a plan.”
the communication was shut off and he slumped down in his chair, a hand scrubbing over his face wearily. it took him a moment to gather the energy to stand, and even then he could feel his legs shaking beneath him. the bridge was a mess, officers rushing about as they fled to the shuttles. some cast him sorrowful glances, obviously knowing what he was planning to do. he nodded at those few, trying to convey everything that he couldn’t put into words.
“yoongi-hyung.”
taehyung’s voice broke over his name, and the sniff that followed was an indicator that he was already crying. spinning around, yoongi once again found himself wrapped in the arms of taehyung. the other was opening crying now, not quite sobbing just yet. his embrace was tight, his whole body trembling.
“tae, please, you need to go with the shuttles with the others,” he pleaded, his voice quiet in an attempt to keep from crying himself.
“no!” the exclamation was coupled with him reluctantly pulling himself away from yoongi, staggering back a few steps as he glared at his boyfriend with red rimmed eyes. “no, i won’t let you do this.”
“taehyung, i have to, it’s the only way.”
“there – there has to be something else you can do. there has to.”
yoongi winced as his voice cracked, his lower lip trembling and a few stray tears running down his cheeks. he sniffed again, raising his chin up to try and look as confident as he could. his hands were trembling by his side and his uniform shirt was dishevelled. his lavender hair was a mess, and he could picture taehyung running his hands through his as he rushed about in the med bay, trying to help as many people as he could, despite the fact that he felt like he wasn’t doing enough.
yoongi thought he looked beautiful.
he reached out, taking tae’s hands into his own. his thumbs rubbed gently over the backs of his hands, a feeble attempt to help calm him down.
“there’s no other option. i have to do this. please, please just get to the shuttles. we – you don’t have much time. please, tae. please do this, for me.”
“yoongi-hyung, please, no, i can’t let you do this. please, you can’t. you can’t do this to me.”
“baby, i don’t have a choice,” he smiled softly, his own eyes filling with tears as he gazed upon the broken expression that had taken permanent residence on taehyung’s face.
“please. you can’t stay here with me. i don’t know what i’d do if you – you can’t.”
“no, no. i – i love you, okay? i love you so much you can’t leave me please don’t leave me hyung you can’t-“
yoongi quieted him, pressing his lips gently against tae’s during the next pause in his sentence. his hands came up to cup his face, allowing himself to take in everything in this moment. it would be the last time he ever kissed taehyung, ever told him he loved him, ever heard his voice repeat those words back at him.
he pulled away reluctantly, tears streaming down his face as he smiled shakily at the other. he sighed, glancing at the screen momentarily, making sure he had enough time to say goodbye. taehyung’s hands lingered on his waist, fingers pressing into his skin, trying to hold him tight so that he wouldn’t slip away.
“i was going to ask you to marry me.”
taehyung sobbed, the broken sound echoing through the near silent bridge. he almost collapsed into his arms, sobs wracking his body as he cried as much as he could. yoongi’s fingers gripped the back of tae’s shirt tightly as he felt a damn spot begin to form on his shirt.
slowly, he pulled away. taking taehyung’s hand into his own he guided him towards the door, gently pushing him through until he was on the other side. their hands slipped apart, and although taehyung reached out for him, he couldn’t. couldn’t do it, couldn’t fall back into him embrace. he had to let taehyung go. he had to give him the chance to survive.
he pressed the button next to the door, effectively shutting it and locking it. tae screamed. his fists banged on the surface as he fought. yoongi’s hand lingered over the button, fingers trembling.
“tae, baby. taehyung, please. please go. please. you can live, you can go back to earth and survive. it’ll be okay. please. i love you so, so much, okay? i love you.” he sobbed, unable to continue. “please, taehyung. please leave. you need to go.”
“yoongi, no. no no no yoongi please, please, i love you, please don’t do this. please!”
“please,” yoongi whispered. he watched taehyung through the small window on the door, his features only just visible through his tears. “i love you, kim taehyung, and i always will. i would’ve spent my life with you, you know? i wish it didn’t have to end this way. but please, taehyung, please go save yourself.”
tae paused, and yoongi could see him take a deep breath in an attempt to collect himself.
“i will never forget you, min yoongi. i love you. i hope to see you again someday.”
he sobbed, smiling at the younger through the glass. taehyung returned the smile, somewhat shakily, before turning and heading through the halls to the shuttles, not once looking back.
returning to his chair once more, he turned his focus towards the screen in front of him. the shields were currently at 4% and he hoped that taehyung made it out okay.
not a few moments later, an announcement flashed on the screen showing that all shuttles has safely departed and were moving out of range. he smiled, choking back another sob. time to get to work.
one last pulse from their own weapons was all it took to bring down the klingon shields, and he immediately started to move forward. he forced he ship as fast as it would go, aiming directly at the heart of the klingon warship. a slight smile graced his lips as he moved, the smallest sense of happiness to be felt that he managed to save his crew.
the impact hit him hard. there was intense pain that seemed to drag on forever before it ended and the world faded into nothing.
his last thoughts were of tae’s smile, their lips pressed together, their hands clasped tight, spending their lives together, traveling between constellations. being together. a sense of love and home and happiness that he would never again feel.
kim taehyung.
i love you.
goodbye.