Archive of Our Own ^beta

--♞--

When Chan was shaken awake, he immediately realised there was an emergency. His body- trained for such situations- awoke fast, already on alert.

“Sir, our scouts have seen groups of armed forces approaching. They hold no banner of ours or of an allied Kingdom’s and seem hostile.”

The soldier's voice trembled slightly in fear. He was young, not too many moons in the army and hence his first time in such a situation.

Chan’s years of experience kicked in, his whole demeanour sobering.

With the King and half his army gone in an expedition, it made absolute sense that an enemy would come to attack the castle when vulnerable.

It was not an honourable way of conquest, but it seemed like the enemy did not care for honour. 

Immediately, Chan's mind started working, thinking of plans and strategies. 

With the King and the Knight-Commander gone, Chan was the man in charge. There were some advisors of the King in the castle, but they would not be making any war-related decisions. That would be left to Chan. 

“Send two messengers to the King's camp, make sure they take different routes and gather every soldier in the barracks. Have all citizens and advisors guided to safety.”

Chan was getting dressed as he barked the orders, getting his sword and light armour ready.

“Sir, the- the Prince.”

“I will handle that alone. Now go!”

As the prince's personal Knight, Chan's room was located right by the young man's. 

Chan took a deep breath, preparing himself for what was to come.

The knight nodded at the two guards posted outside Felix's room and the two men immediately opened the doors for him. 

“One of you go find Changbin and Minho and bring them here.”

“Yes, sir.”

The command was carried on immediately as Chan walked inside the prince's rooms. Felix was sleeping peacefully all spread out on the bed, covers thrown away in a way that would have made Chan smile any other time. Right then, all he could feel was dread.

It broke his heart, having to shake Felix awake, but he did not have time to hesitate. Unused as he thankfully was to such emergencies, the prince took his sweet time waking up. Chan tried not to jostle him too much, wanting him to have his peace for a little while longer.

Felix let out a noise of complaint as he stretched out like a cat, trying to avoid whatever was disturbing him.

“Lix, you have to wake up.”

Chan kept his voice soft but firm, running his hand down Felix's naked arm, shaking him gently. The prince made a questioning sound, eyelids fluttering.

“Mmmm-whaa-?”

“Come on. Wake up, sweetheart.”

“W-who? Chan?”

“It is me, little one. You need to get up right now.”

Outside the room, Chan could hear the commotion. 

The castle was waking up and Chan was running out of time.

“Come on. Up.”

Chan made sure his grip was gentle as possible when pulling Felix up on a sitting position.

“What? W-What's happening?”

“Lix, look at me.”

Chan followed his words by softly cupping Felix's face in his hands.

“There will be an attack on the castle very, very imminently.”

Chan saw how quickly the words got to Felix, his sleepy expression turning into an alarmed one in an instant.

“How imminent?”

“Enough that I need you to get up and get dressed right away. Pack lightly.”

There was a sharp knock on the door before Changbin walked in, followed by Seungmin, Jisung and Minho last. 

“We found them on the way here. Everyone is already being escorted out.” 

Changbin informed him as Chan watched Felix hastily open drawers and closets, throwing clothes on the big, four-poster bed.

Chan turned his attention to Changbin, his closest friend already looking at him with a knowing expression. Chan barely suppressed a wince, giving the knight a nod. He looked towards Minho then, who was standing by the door.

“What are we going to do?” 

Jisung- the royal ward and Felix’s best friend- asked as he and Seungmin -the prince’s other best friend- helped pack Felix's small bags.

“We are going to quickly take the hidden passage, get horses and get you out of here.” 

Chan explained, eyes on Minho still. The younger knight's eyes narrowed at Chan, head tilting in thought. It dawned on him right after, what Chan was planning. Minho’s eyes darted to Changbin and Chan watched their usual silent communication with guilt and grief in his heart. 

Had there been another way, Chan would have never even thought of separating the lovers, but it was the only plan that gave them any chances.

Chan needed Changbin by his side to hold the enemies back, but he also needed someone he could trust implicitly to guard Felix in his journey. Because Chan couldn't be with Felix and he needed the next best thing.

It was an honour as much as it was a burden and Chan hated himself as he dropped it all on Minho.

“I will go get the horses ready.”

Minho's voice trembled slightly and Chan felt the guilt tear through him.

“Only two. One the Prince's.”

Chan instructed and Minho was out the door. Chan saw his best friend looking at his departure longingly.

“Changbin, you go with him. I'll handle things here.” 

Chan could at least give the two lovers some stolen time to say their farewells.

With both the other knights gone, Chan felt his guard going up again, instincts kicking in.

“Seungmin, go pack a small pouch. Jisung you too and make sure you get any medicinal items you have available.”

The two younger men stopped what they were doing and instantly moved to do Chan's bidding.

“And bring your plainest cloaks.” Chan reminded them as they were leaving. 

Alone in the room, Chan turned to his prince. 

Felix's hands were trembling as he reached for a long-sleeved shirt. Chan moved without a second’s thought, taking the shirt from Felix's hands and helping him dress. 

He was gentle as he pulled one of the prince’s plainer looking cloaks around his shoulders, clasping it at the front.

Felix was worried and scared; it was all over his face when Chan raised his eyes to look at him. 

“I want you to take a deep breath for me.” 

Felix did as instructed and breathed in before exhaling loudly.

“Good. Now listen to me. You, along with Jisung and Seungmin, will ride straight to the King's camp and alert him of the attack.”

“What about you?”

Chan took a deep breath himself, stilling his heart for his next words.

“I have to stay here. Changbin will stay with me and Minho will accompany you and your friends.

“What? No! Chan, you have to come with me.”

“I can’t, Felix. I have to fight here and stall for time until your return.”

“You are my personal Knight, you have to stay with me. That is your duty.”

Felix tried to sound commanding but his voice trembled. He had long ago stopped seeing Chan as someone to order around and Chan's heart bled at the poor try. 

Letting Felix go anywhere dangerous without him as protection, went against everything Chan believed in and felt. But it had to be done even though it was already tearing him apart.

“My duty is to keep you and the Kingdom safe. I am one of the strongest fighters left here, little one and the only one who can take command. I was left here for that reason.”

“What about me? How will you know I am safe?”

They both knew Felix was more than capable of protecting himself. That this argument had nothing to do with that. Still, Chan indulged him like he always did.

“Minho will be with you. I have absolute faith in his ability to keep you safe otherwise I would have never assigned him to your protection.”

“Sure, but Minho is not you.”

“He is the next best thing.”

Chan countered and he saw the fight leave Felix’s body. There was nothing else he could say, and they both knew it.

“Promise we will see each other again.”

“Felix…”

Pained and chastised at his prince’s almost childish petulance.

“Promise me or I will turn right back around and join the fight the moment you are not looking.”

Chan hated making promises he wasn't certain he could keep but he didn't have much of a choice if he wanted Felix safe and out of the castle.

“I promise, little one.”

Chan hoped his words were enough to convince the prince.

His beautiful prince who was looking at him with his big, hopeful eyes that Chan could easily get lost in.

His heart beat for that prince, more than he could ever express.

“Okay.”

After that, everything happened fast.

They met up with Jisung and Seungmin and Chan guided the three of them through one of the castle’s many secret tunnels.

There were shouts and cries all around. With the castle in complete disarray, it would take a little longer before someone took command.

After exiting the tunnel, they silently walked towards the stables. There, they came upon Changbin and Minho standing close, each holding a horse’s reins as they spoke softly in between them. 

They broke apart when they saw them approach and Changbin was quick to hug Felix close. Minho approached Chan then, eyes slightly red but resolute.

Chan didn't expect the hug, but he melted into it, hoping it portrayed how sorry he really was. They said no words because there were none to be said, but shared a long look and a nod before they broke away.

Chan approached the three youngest then, hugging Jisung and Seungmin tight before turning to his prince.

He barely had time to open his arms before his little sunshine was on him. His hug was tight, desperate, and Chan hugged him back just as desperately. 

“Stay alive.”

The prince all but begged as they parted. 

“You too, little one.”

Chan watched as Changbin and Minho shared another look before they helped the prince and his friends mount the two horses; Jisung riding with Felix and Seungmin with Minho. 

Felix met his eyes one last time, red and wet but always beautiful, before he pulled his hood up and spurred his horse, Chestnut, into a run, Minho right behind him.

The silence following their departure was heavy. It weighed horribly on Chan, so crushing it was hard to breathe.

It was the first time Felix would be away from him, that Chan would not be by his side to keep him safe. It hurt, more than anything else he had experienced and Chan had to fight with his heart to not run after him.

He couldn’t. Knew he would be regretting that decision for the rest of his life but it didn’t stop him from craving it.

He could only imagine what his best friend was feeling at that moment, seeing his lover ride away and knowing he would probably not be seeing him ever again.

Just like Chan knew that would be his own fate.

“I am sorry, old friend.”

“I know. I would have stayed with you even if you hadn’t asked.”

Chan felt so grateful for the man beside him, even if he was being buried alive by guilt.

“Sir!”

Just like that, the time for mourning and regrets was to an end. It was time for Chan to take command.

--♚--

Felix could hardly breathe. On the run while his heart stayed behind to fight for his own Kingdom.

He was slowly trying to come to terms with the events of the past minutes, forced as they had been to stop their galloping and hide for some time.

As Felix watched his reflection on the river water, he couldn’t help but think how Chan hadn’t looked too convinced when he had made his promise. Couldn’t help but think that he himself hadn’t been convinced either when he had made him do it, but had needed something to cling to for his journey.

His heart was breaking, his soul mourning its other half, but Felix knew his duties, knew what he needed to do and with a forlorn look towards the castle Felix turned around. 

When Minho approached him, Felix knew that time was up. The knight’s face was closed off, a mask, but his eyes had always been a giveaway. Maybe it was wrong of him to, but Felix still found comfort in the worry hidden in those eyes.

Minho was one of Chan's closest friends, his family. One of the few people Chan would entrust the prince’s safety to.

The burden must be suffocating Minho, but he still carried on. So should Felix.

The crowned prince gave the knight a determined nod and joined Seungmin and Jisung by the horses.

Born the same year and already part of the royal court due to his father being an advisor to the King, it was inevitable for Felix and Seungmin to grow close. 

They met Jisung when they were babies. Jisung’s father was a King to a small neighbouring Kingdom and a childhood friend of Felix’s father so they were visiting often.

When tragedy had hit, it was their Kingdom Jisung’s father had instructed his son to be brought to. Jisung was taken in like a second son and the rest had been history, the trio attached to the hip.

Where one went, the other two followed. Whatever they did, they did it together and that was a promise no situation, no matter how dire or life-threatening would break.

Just like right then.

Felix mounted Chestnut, patted his neck to calm both the animal and himself down when the horse sensed his anxiety.

Felix aided Jisung with getting up behind him on the warhorse with a grip of his hand while Minho lifted him up by the waist. 

Riding with four horses would have been too risky, raising their chances of being caught exponentially so they had to ride double.

Jisung immediately wrapped his arms around Felix, holding him tight but not saying a word. He was one of the two people who knew the magnitude of Felix's feelings, even if it was obvious to everyone.

His and Seungmin’s presences were a soothing hand on Felix’s otherwise burning skin. Having them with him, the only two people who could really understand the extent of Felix’s grief was a luxury that Felix would forever be grateful for.

Another thing he owed to Chan.

Another way his knight showed how well and thoroughly he knew him.

Felix pulled his cloak tighter around him, his hood lower. His horse would give him away in the daylight but in the dead of night, Felix knew he would be getting away with it.

And if he didn’t and somehow got recognised before he reached his destination, he was certain Chestnut could outrun every other horse in the Kingdom.

It was one of the reasons Chan had insisted Felix take his horse, Felix was certain. Chan always calculated all possibilities before making a decision. 

Felix would not let it go to waste.

The prince’s resolve strengthened and he urged his horse to a trot. He had been tasked with riding to his father's location, and he was going to make it there as swiftly as possible.

Even if his father got the message Chan had no doubt dispatched to him, Felix would still catch them on the way back.

No matter what, Felix would be keeping his promise to Chan. Just like he hoped Chan would be keeping his.

He believed in Chan’s abilities so he wanted to trust he would hold the castle defences until Felix made it back to him with reinforcements.

--♞--

With his most priceless treasure and biggest worry entrusted to one of his closest friends and most capable knights, Chan marched towards the barracks, Changbin right beside him.

The knights and rest of the soldiers had already been armed and were shouting out orders.

The amount of responsibility on him was not lost on him, but it was something he had been trained for. What his future would look like. So Chan stilled his heart, took a deep breath, and entered the barracks.

With a commanding posture and voice that came naturally to him, Chan took control.

“Report.”

The highest-ranking knight in the room came instantly to the very front.

“The castle has been alerted. Civilians and staff have been guided to safety.”

“Good. Any reports on the invaders?”

“The attack looks uncoordinated. They don't seem to have a plan and obviously struggle to find a way to proceed.”

Chan was instantly both concerned and happy with the news. He couldn’t help but doubt his decision to send Felix away. What if that had been the plan? To lure the crown prince out in the open and made vulnerable?

Chan barely kept the smile back at that thought.

Felix might be soft and fragile looking, but he was also one of the best fighters in their Kingdom. Quick and agile, the prince could kill someone before they realised he had moved.

No. Chan knew Felix's and Minho's abilities, so he was certain it had been the right decision to send Felix to alert the King himself.

He could only hope he would be able to hold the castle long enough for Felix and the King to return.

--♚--

The farther away Felix got from the castle, the more the sense of grief threatened to overwhelm him.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Chan, and Changbin. About his people, the castle staff, and all their animals and livestock.

Prayed like he had never prayed before for the defences to hold, for Chan to survive until Felix was back.

The crown prince didn’t want to even think about the alternative lest his heart shattered and his mind lost its sanity.

Felix glanced to his right.

If he was feeling like that, he couldn’t begin to imagine how Minho must be feeling. The knight didn't only leave his best friend behind, but also the love of his life.

No matter how confident in his lover's abilities, the worry for Changbin's life must be eating him up inside. 

Still, the knight showed none of that at first glance; probably focused on doing his duty and by doing so, making sure he got back to Changbin with the help needed to fight off the invaders.

Minho must have sensed Felix's gaze, for he turned his head and met it head on.

Felix jolted at being caught but he didn’t turn away. He needed to know how the knight did it so he could copy his resolve. At that point, Felix didn’t care if the knight caught on, if he didn’t know already, that was.

“How do you do it?”

“How do I do what, your Highness?”

“How are you not trembling with fear? How are you striding forward and resisting the urge to turn back around and ride to his aid?”

Even a fool could recognise the emotions in Felix's voice weren’t just because he empathised with the knight's situation. Anyone with ears could hear these were Felix’s own thoughts, his own battle.

Even so, the knight answered him without questioning the reason behind his sudden outburst. If he was taken aback by Felix's outright acknowledgement of his relationship with the other knight, Minho didn’t show it.

“Is that not what I am doing? Riding for his and everyone's aid?”

“But... Don't you want to be there and help him? Don't you think about the difference you could make if you were by his side?”

Felix kept on pressing, not satisfied with the older man’s answers.

“I do, more than anything. But then, I think how instead of one person, I can bring back hundreds. And then those wants get pushed to the back of my mind and I am able to push forward.”

The knight spoke with a stable voice, but the words didn't fail to make Felix's eyes water for only a second before he blinked the tears away.

Still, Minho held his gaze as his expression softened in a way it never had before with Felix.

“He'll be alright.”

At first, Felix thought the knight was referring to his lover, but then, his eyes turned even softer.

“Chan would never allow himself to die before knowing you’ve made it back to him alive and well, your Highness.” 

Felix's eyes widened, mouth falling open at the knight’s words.

“I…”

Felix's inability to answer only made the knight's face soften even more, even showing traces of amusement. 

Jisung and Seungmin seemed as taken aback by the older man’s bold words as Felix himself. 

The knight took mercy on them after a few seconds, and his mask fell back on as all traces of amusement and softness were gone in an instant.

“Let's pick up pace, your Highness. We need the cover of the night for as long as we can have it.”

With that Minho finally looked away.

Felix was pushed into action by Jisung's soft call of his name. The knight, as he ought, had made a suggestion bordering on order, but under no circumstances had moved to pick up the pace himself. Minho was not allowed to take such liberties. That was reserved for Chan and Chan only.

He was the only that had ever pushed back on Felix, ordered him around and declined him things like no one ever had dared to. Felix should have been insulted, or at least annoyed, but Chan’s attitude only made Felix’s love for him stronger. 

With a shake of his head, the prince tightened the reins and kicked Chestnut's flank gently, urging him forward.

The horse responded instantly, his trot turning into a gallop now that they had a safe distance from the castle and didn't have to be conscious of being seen or heard.

Minho fell in line immediately, his horse easily keeping pace with Felix's.

It was either luck, or negligence from his enemies that his father was relatively close to the castle.

With the pace they were going at, Felix and his companions would be at the camp before dawn if they didn't face any obstacles. 

If the king had been informed, then maybe they would need even less time before they came upon them.

No matter what, Felix was determined to make it at the fastest time possible. So he pushed his Chestnut to go a little bit faster, waiting for the knight's disapproval or plan otherwise.

When no objection came, Felix urged Jisung to hold on before lowering himself along Chestnut’s neck and guiding the horse to a full run.

Even in such a dire situation, Felix knew how much he could push his horse, would never endanger his life only to make it to his destination faster.

Chestnut knew it as well. Trusted Felix to take care of him, so he easily went along with Felix's urge to pick up the pace, his hooves kicking up dirt and fallen leaves at the speed he was going.

Felix occasionally glanced to his right, wanting to make sure Minho's horse was following and wasn't being pushed to its limits to keep up with Felix's.

He needn't have worried, for every time Felix took his eyes off the front to look next to him, Minho was always right there, riding along, Seungmin gripping him tightly around the waist.

If they survived this, Felix would make sure his two trusted friends postponed their duties to recuperate.

Every so often, Chan would flash into Felix’s mind; his dimpled smile, his kind eyes, and Felix’s heart would skip a bit in dread. But each time, Felix would recall Minho's words and his resolve would remain unshaken.

Chan would not die. He would keep his promise and reunite with Felix. Or else, the invading Kingdom would feel Felix's wrath ‘till his last breath.

The prince was not one for vengeance, but if Chan was taken from him, no one, not even the gods themselves, would be able to hide from Felix. 

They kept up the fast pace for a long time, making a serious dent in the distance they had to cover.

When Chestnut started showing signs of discomfort, Felix was quick to ease up on him. He pulled the reins slightly, showing the horse it was time to slow down.

Chestnut did so after a minute, reducing his speed to a trot. Only then did Felix pull the reins tighter, guiding the horse to a gradual stop.

There was a river not too far from them so Felix guided them towards it confidently, Minho following close behind.

Felix stopped them right by the bank, waiting for Minho to come help Jisung down from Chestnut, before he himself got effortlessly off.

Felix let Chestnut free, knowing the horse's temperament better than his own. He could trust him to remain unmoving even in a crisis.

Kneeling by the riverbank, Felix splashed his face with the cold, clear water before cupping some in his hands and bringing it to his mouth. At the first drop, Felix realised how parched he was. It would do no good to anyone if Felix and his companions arrived at the King's camp on the brink of death.

“Drink up plenty and rest. We will stay here long enough for the horses to replenish their strength.” 

Felix ordered, voice soft in the dead of the night but no less commanding.

After satiating his thirst, Felix got up. 

He spent some time petting Chestnut's long neck and mane, fixing the saddle that had been put on the horse in a haste, making sure to check Chestnut for any sores or injuries.

When he concluded the horse healthy, Felix let him drink up and rest.

He decided to walk a few feet away and rest against a tree trunk himself. He paid no attention to his clothes as he usually would, appearances not even a thought in his head as he slumped to the forest dirt, back hitting the trunk.

Felix had to fight the urge to keep going, keep riding fast. 

His teeth were clenched and his hands gripping the earth, like that would stop him.

Thankfully, Jisung and Seungmin came to join him. Sitting at either side of him, each with a hand around his clenched fists, they provided comfort just by physical touch.

They sat in silence, occasionally watching Minho tend to the horses and walk perimeters. The knight was obviously restless, occupying his hands with something and choosing not to rest.

Felix had offered him the courtesy, but Minho had very politely refused, citing safety and alertness as his duties.

Felix knew that wasn't the reason, at least not the primary one, but he let the knight be.

Here Minho was, forced to protect Felix while his lover fought with death. The knight hadn't showcased any contempt towards Felix, not even the slightest bit that he could have gotten away with, and Felix couldn't help but feel guilty.

At the same time, it strengthened his resolve.

Felix wasn't the only one with a broken heart so he would have to make sure their return was not only successful for him but for Minho, and Changbin, as well.

For Changbin wasn’t just Minho’s lover. He was Chan’s best friend and Felix’s childhood friend. The prince loved him dearly and would be devastated if anything happened to him.

For everyone’s sake, Felix and his company needed to be successful.

--♞--

The meeting of the blades was causing Chan's ears to ring, his muscles to recoil.

Still, he had been training for this, knew how to conserve energy for long battles, knew how to keep his body from falling apart.

His mind, however, was proving to be the most difficult to contain. Occupied by thoughts of the crown prince and his safety, Chan couldn't stop the images that flashed in his brain of his prince hurt, his friends injured.

Whenever pictures of Felix lying dead, blood all over his pretty lips and his star-kissed face invaded Chan's head, the knight felt pain unlike anything else. No physical injury could cause that amount of pain, unless it was on the crowned prince.

Chan believed in Felix's and Minho's capabilities; knew they were some of the best fighters in the Kingdom but couldn't stop worrying about them.

About what would happen to Changbin if he lost Minho.

Changbin who had been Chan’s rock and closest friend along with Minho. 

Who had stood right next to him, holding him when talks of Felix's marriage had started circulating when he became of age. 

Changbin, who had come to Chan scared but equally as brave to confess his feelings for Minho.

Changbin, who had hugged Chan tight when Chan had wholeheartedly supported their relationship and kicked some sense into Minho when the younger knight had started doubting things.

The same Changbin who was fighting right beside Chan while similar thoughts plagued his mind Chan had no doubt. 

No words had been exchanged between them since the attackers had found a way into the castle. Only looks that meant more than words ever could.

‘I'll protect you.’ They said.

And it wasn't because of duty but sincere love for each other. Even if Felix returned alive, Chan would still lose a piece of his heart if Changbin died. Chan was determined not to let that happen.

The knight focused back on the battle, disarming his opponent and sticking his sword to the side of his armour, killing him instantly.

A look to his side showed Changbin in a similar situation: heavy breathing and trembling arms as he pulled his sword out of his opponent’s side.

Chan allowed himself a deep breath before reaching out to retrieve his own sword.

It was never ending, the stream of enemies storming in.

When a loud ‘Get ready!’ broke through the chaos of battle around him, Chan walked closer to Changbin.

With their shoulders touching, Chan looked towards the caved-in gate.

“Stay alive.”

It was a plea and a command all the same and despite the situation, it had Chan smiling with fondness.

Chan's answer was lost in the cacophony of more enemies rushing in.

Chan could only hope they survived that wave too.

--♚--

They had been on the road for some time when Felix paused.

A look towards the knight accompanying them validated Felix's unsettling feeling. Minho had a frown on his face and was rapidly scanning their surroundings. 

They had decided on a slower pace because these parts were treacherous, full of hard rocks and sunken earth. They couldn't risk their horses getting injured so they had made the choice of caution easily.

It was known that due to the terrain, these parts were dangerous beyond landscape; bandits prowling, preying on travellers.

Felix and Minho were both aware of the dangers, but that path was also the fastest to their destination and time was of the essence. Knowing that three out the four of them could put up a fight had strengthened their resolve to pick the shortcut.

Minho had handed Seungmin one of his extra small blades before they had mounted their horses. Seungmin had taken it with a determined if a little apprehensive look on his face. He was an advisor. A scholar, not a fighter. But he would fight if he had to.

Jisung on the other hand, quivered in any show of violence, his past having traumatized him too much to be able to look beyond it and learn how to defend himself.

It was for that reason that Seungmin had switched places with Jisung and the royal ward was the one currently riding with the knight. Out of all of them, Minho had the most fighting experience so it had been undisputed that the one with no experience would be protected by him. 

Felix caught Minho's eyes and when the knight nodded, Felix took a deep breath.

It had been a while since he had to fight and even then, Chan had been right by his side. A wave of fear and dread hit him at the thought of his personal knight, but Felix pushed it to the side. It would do no good if he allowed himself to be overcome by such thoughts. 

Even as Felix leaned slightly back to alert Seungmin, he didn't break the slow pace his horse was going at. They had to remain vigilant but seem oblivious to whoever was approaching.

“Someone is coming, prepare yourself.”

Felix kept his voice barely above a whisper, assuming a straight-up position once again without waiting for a reply.

He felt Seungmin tensing behind him and that was the only answer he really needed.

They didn't have to wait long for the first sound of someone approaching to reach them.

It was very subtle and easily missed, but with how alert they all were, they caught it instantly. Even the horses picked up on it, their pace faltering slightly. Felix immediately reached forward to soothe Chestnut, patting gently along his neck.

The anticipation was getting to Felix more than the knowledge that they were being hunted, hands gripping the reins tight and jaw clenched.

Felix was sneaking glances at Minho, waiting for the signal. They had strategized back at the lake in case of an ambush so Felix knew what to do when Minho gave the signal. It had been necessary, the two of them never having been called to fight together in such small company.

Contrary to his status, Felix had learned to take a step back and listen very early on in his life. It was mostly due to Chan that Felix had picked up that behaviour but he also wasn't one to assume command just because of his title.

He could acknowledge Minho's experience and allow him to take the lead.

Maybe when Felix became King that would be expected to change but for then, Felix followed the knight's command.

It had been great foresight from them to have made plans, because the moment Minho turned to Felix and nodded, the crown prince sprang into action. 

Pulling the reins, Felix halted his horse and pushed off it, Seungmin following a few seconds later.

The prince quickly pulled his sword from the bags attached to the saddle and gently hit Chestnut’s flank to get him running. He trusted Chestnut not to venture too far out, so he paid no mind to the direction he took off towards.

Felix only had time to push Seungmin slightly behind him before the bandits appeared. He counted three, but he wouldn't be surprised if there were more hiding in the trees.

The prince remained vigilant, posture straight and confident, showing no fear.

“Well, well, well... What do we have here?”

One of the bandits sneered, rotten smile on his lips as he looked Felix up and down.

Felix saw his eyes widen, recognition taking over his expression and realised they knew. He would have preferred if they hadn't, but it wouldn't change anything for him.

The bandits' smiles widened, clearly elated they had managed to corner the crown prince out of everyone, and with no heavy entourage surrounding him.

“If it isn’t-”

The bandit had no time to finish his words before Minho sent a small blade straight towards him. It lodged itself in the man's heart and he was dead before he had hit the ground. 

That was all Felix waited for before he was running towards the stunned bandits, taking advantage of their stupor.

He targeted the one closer to him, swinging his sword straight to the man's neck. The bandit instinctively moved away but not fast enough for the blade not to injure him.

With a scowl and an angry yell, the man swung his own sword. He was vicious, fuelled by anger and pain, but Felix was not perturbed.

Growing up, he had known that he was lacking in strength and built, so he had trained to counter that. 

He used his slimmer build to his advantage and honed his agility and swiftness. Felix was not strong and built like Chan, but he was quicker than anyone he had fought against. 

The bandit was no different; clearly underestimating Felix's skills and paying with his life. Felix pulled the sword from the man's middle and looked around.

Minho was fighting two men, Jisung having walked a little farther away from him. 

More men had come from the trees, one locked in battle with Seungmin. Without thinking, Felix ran to his advisor, piercing the bandit right through his middle from behind.

“Jisung.” Was all Felix said and thankfully Seungmin wasted no time asking questions. 

Felix quickly withdrew his sword, letting the dead bandit fall uncaringly to the dirt as he scoured the area.

Minho seemed to have dealt with his enemies and was quick to join Seungmin and Jisung. The ward was clinging desperately on Seungmin, eyes teary and expression tormented.

Felix's heart broke seeing his best friend like that but before he could walk up to them in an effort to soothe Jisung, his name was called in desperation and horror.

Felix understood why a second before a blade pierced him.

The breath on the back of his neck along with the visual of the blade peeking through his left section had Felix paralysed for a second. Another call of his name broke him from that trance and Felix swung his elbow back, getting the unsuspecting bandit right on the temple.

He granted and released the hold on his sword, allowing Felix to pull away and turn around.

He could feel blood spilling from the wound, quickly staining his clothes but he paid it no mind, attention on his enemy.

The bandit recovered quickly from the blow, swinging his sword at Felix again.

The crown prince countered immediately but he could feel his left side burning. It limited his movement and would have easily been his downfall had he been traveling alone.

Thankfully, he wasn’t by himself, so the next minute Minho appeared behind the bandit, his sword raised. Felix managed to take a step back so the blood wouldn't get on him as Minho struck the bandit’s neck. The head didn't come flying off, Minho must have pulled back his strength, but the man's neck was cut, spewing blood all over.

They both watched him drop his sword and clutch at his neck but they knew it was already over. When the man fell to his knees, they both took a step back so he didn't hit them on the way down.

Absolute silence followed.

It meant that either the rest of the bandits had fled or that that had been all of them.

With the knowledge that the battle was won, Felix finally felt the full effect of his wound. His sword fell from his grip, the trembling too intense to keep a hold of it. 

One of his hands went to his wound, pressing against it, while the other sought out support. Minho was there, as were Seungmin and Jisung, and Felix allowed them to hold him, to keep him on his feet. He knew without them he would have dropped to his knees.

“Let me see.”

The knight's voice was controlled, even, but his eyes alone were transparent enough to see his concern and fear if one was paying close enough attention.

Felix let himself be supported by Seungmin from behind as he removed his hand from the wound and lifted his shirt with bloody fingers.

Not seeing a point in delaying the inevitable, Felix looked down. His body sagged with a different kind of emotion when he saw that the wound was more to the side than he had thought. It had been enough to the left that it had sliced his skin open but had missed vital organs. The clothes had just made the angle look so much worse.

“Thank the Gods.”

Seungmin's whisper broke the tense atmosphere and sprang everyone into action.

Minho whistled into the air as Jisung was ripping the sleeve of his tunic off. Felix inhaled sharply when his friend wrapped it tightly around his waist to stop the bleeding momentarily.

They had supplies on the pouches the horses carried but they had to wait until they came back to tend to Felix's wound. 

As trained, Minho's horse came running through the forest, Chestnut right behind it. Felix was more grateful than ever for Chestnut's training and intuition to follow Minho's horse. 

Jisung wasted no time getting the medical supplies from Chestnut the moment the horses came close enough. Felix's horse knew Jisung well enough to stay calm and allow the ward to retrieve his things.

Despite Jisung's aversion to fighting, or maybe because of it, Jisung had knowledge equal to that of a healer. 

They all watched him as he mixed medicines and leaves, keeping Felix up with a strong hold of his body. 

It stung when Jisung applied his poultice on the wound, had Felix clenching his jaw to keep any sounds in.

Jisung expertly finished applying the medicine and had the wound wrapped up in clean cloths in a matter of seconds. His expression, just like his hands, were steady and calm even though Felix knew his heart was beating like crazy and his knees were threatening to buckle. 

It was the reason why Felix hadn't insisted when Jisung had declined apprenticeship to the Master Physician.

With the wound bandaged they each took a breath of relief.

That was until Felix actually took in the knight standing right in front of him. A gasp left his lips unbidden at the sight of blood all over the knight’s clothes.

“You're hurt.”

It was something between question and accusation and it had his two friends snapping their heads towards their guard.

“It's just a nick, your Highness. Nothing to worry about.” Minho tried dismissing their concern, but Jisung was having none of it.

“It's just a nick until it gets infected and becomes the reason you die.”

With boldness only showcased to his two close friends, Jisung reached for Minho's clothes, swatting his hands away when Minho tried to stop him.

Felix held his breath, ready for confrontation and was relieved, and slightly perplexed, at Minho's confused but open expression as he let the younger do whatever he wanted.

It turned out it was indeed just a flesh wound, but they all knew it could become fatal if not properly taken care of. 

The knight allowed himself to be manhandled and probed to Jisung's whims with no more than an amused chuckle. Felix didn't miss the slight blush on his friend's cheeks but was aware that this wouldn't be the best time to bring it up.

“Are you feeling good enough to move, your Highness?” 

Felix took some time to really assess his energy and strength. He felt drained, a little unstable, but strong enough to stand on his own. He had lost some blood but Jisung’s medicines had stopped the bleeding.

“I feel strong enough to ride my horse and keep going.” 

There were immediate protests from his childhood friends but Felix was quick to reassure them.

“I know not to be a fool about this, so trust my words and judgement. I will let you know the moment I start feeling worse.”

Seungmin nodded in understanding instantly, whereas Jisung needed more convincing.

“I promise I will be very careful about this, Sungie.”

Finally Jisung relented with a warning disguised as a promise.

“I'll be keeping my eye on you. Both of you.”

With that well-meaning threat hanging between them, the group moved towards the horses. Jisung got up behind Felix to no doubt keep that eye on him, while Seungmin returned to Minho's side. 

It took some careful handling for Felix to get up on Chestnut’s back but when he made it, he really felt well enough to ride. 

His wound pulled on the occasional bump on the road, but Chestnut must have sensed his injured state because he was much more careful when traversing hard or tricky terrain. 

It wasn't that long after that they made their way out of that part of their journey.

Felix hadn't ventured often that far away in that direction, but of the times he had, he remembered the path only got easier from then on.

“This is the last of our destinations that will give us such trouble.”

The sense of relief at the knight's words was evident in all of them.

Still, they remained vigilant even as they picked up the pace. It hurt, when the horse started galloping away, but Felix tried his best to move with Chestnut even more, not allowing his body to rest. 

It came as no surprise that the wound started bleeding again.

Jisung noticed and he all but bullied the reins out Felix's hands and pulled slightly. Felix let it happen, knowing he had to be smart about the injury.

Minho instantly slowed his own horse and trotted back to where Felix and Jisung had stopped.

“What happened?”

“Felix's wound is bleeding again. I may have to stitch it myself if it keeps doing this.”

The sole reason why Jisung hadn't already was because it would be better for the Royal Physician to do so. It would mean it left up to no scar but that wouldn't mean anything if Felix bled out on their way there. 

It was also a decision that could be made solely by Felix, so he wasn't surprised when three pairs of eyes turned to him.

“This is what we're going to do: Sung-ah, you will apply your poultice one more time and if the wound opens again and we are still far from my Father’s camp, then you will stitch it up.”

His words brought no arguments, just immediate agreement.

Felix -with Minho's and Seungmin’s help- got off the horse. With one hand gripping the saddle, Felix let Jisung pull his shirt up and reapply his pulp. The prince hissed but remained otherwise silent, smiling at Jisung's apologetic expression.

Minho, true to his position and nature, guarded them when they were vulnerable, walking along their perimeter and pausing to catch any suspicious noises.

Felix knew that they wouldn't be surviving another attack so time was of the essence.

Thankfully, Jisung knew it as well, so he made quick work of bandaging the wound with clean cloths. He double wrapped the wound that time, to put more pressure and buy them precious time.

Felix let out a pained breath when that was done and fixed his bloodied and torn clothes. He didn't bother with his hood, knowing they wouldn't be stopping for anything anymore. 

Time was passing and the noose was tightening for the knights left back at the castle.

Felix's eyes started burning, his breath getting stuck in his throat. His soul was aching the farther away they got, the hole inside him continuously bleeding.

“Shall we keep going, your Highness?”

Minho's voice brought Felix out of his head and when the crown prince met his eyes, he saw clear understanding in them.

Felix nodded his assent and soon he was being helped up by two pairs of hands. 

Felix kept Chestnut calm as Jisung was helped up next and soon they were starting up the rest of their journey.

They made haste. Stopping only once to let the horses rest and hydrate while they themselves ate lightly to keep their energy up.

Felix was feeling the effects of the wound and blood loss but he pushed through. Jisung’s poultice had worked well to keep the wound from bleeding profusely, but Felix knew he couldn't leave it too much longer unattended. 

Thankfully, they were on the last leg of their journey. Felix would be fine for that amount of time. 

The closer they got to the King's camp, the harder Felix's heart beat.

Knowing he was so close Felix’s grip on Chestnut’s reins loosened, his heels gently nudging at the horse's sides to urge him on.

Chestnut followed his orders immediately, long neck bowing down as the horse picked up speed. Felix didn't check to see if Minho was following, close enough to the camp that it didn't matter anymore. 

The sound of an awake and bustling camp soon reached Felix's ears and his shoulders all but dropped in relief. 

The scouts heard his approach before they saw him, no doubt one going to alert the King while the one remaining shouted at Felix to state his business.

Felix didn't pay him any mind, knowing they’d recognise his horse the moment they saw him, so he trudged on. 

He barely heard the sounds of disbelief as they did, running farther into the area until he was inside camp. Soldiers made way for Felix's horse, clearing the path for him.

Word had already reached the King because he was waiting for Felix at the centre of the camp. Felix pulled the reins, Chestnut halting mere feet away from him.

Tears built in the prince’s eyes at the sight of his father's concerned and alarmed face, but Felix blinked them away. It wasn't the time for crying.

Felix stayed atop his horse, too tired to even attempt getting off Chestnut. Instead he gripped the saddle to keep himself upright and did what he had separated from Chan to do.

“There's been an attack at the castle.”

Felix's voice was steady and loud, completely devoid of the emotions raging a war inside him. His declaration had the whole camp falling into a shocked silence.

Either the messenger had been killed or had never been dispatched to begin with. Felix didn't allow his mind to dwell on why that could be and what it could mean. Too scared he would fall apart if he did so. 

The King's eyes widened in shock before his ruler’s mask fell upon it.

“Stay alert.” 

He commanded the soldiers, who broke out of their moment of stupor and went into action like the well-trained army they were. 

“Knight-Commander, Felix, with me.”

Felix's breath hitched when he felt a heavy gaze on him. In his haste, he had forgotten Chan's father would be here. That he would have to face him while trying to hide his inner turmoil.

The Knight-Commander was just as aware as anyone else that Chan had to stay behind to protect the castle just as were his duties. He also knew Felix just as well as his father did and without the title of King and ruler on his shoulders, he allowed Felix to see the open compassion, fear and understanding in his eyes.

Just like Felix, Chan’s father was plagued by questions and uncertainties and he allowed Felix a glimpse of them.

It almost became Felix’s undoing, his emotions threatening to spill over as his eyes watered. The Knight-Commander’s gaze turned soft, kind.

“He will be okay.”

With the reassurance that Felix knew was meant for them both, the older man followed after his King.

“Felix, you have to call for the Royal Physician right away.” 

Jisung's whispered words brought Felix back to his senses. He had all but forgotten his wound.

“You,” Felix pointed at one of the soldiers standing by. “Bring the Royal Physician to the King's tent.”

Only when the soldier left did Felix turn to Minho.

“Minho, could you?”

The knight was off the horse and by his side instantly. 

First, he helped Jisung down and then along with Seungmin, they lent Felix their strength. Felix's knees buckled and was thankful of Jisung’s hands holding him up.

“Let's go.”

Felix gently pushed all their helping hands away, intent on walking to the tent by himself. He paused right outside it and turned to his two friends.

“Seungmin, Jisung, you should go eat and rest.” 

The two of them hesitated for a second before nodding their understanding and leaving in search of just that, aided by a waiting squire.

“Minho, I'd understand if you would prefer that as well but I would like your company for the meeting.”

Technically, Minho wasn't high-ranking enough to be in such a meeting, but Chan had chosen him to guard Felix for more than his fighting skills and Felix would not be undermining that.

“It would be an honour, your Highness.” Minho replied instantly with a bow.

The King and the Knight-Commander were by the map table, already deep in discussion. They turned to face Felix immediately upon his arrival, beckoning him forward, their eyes barely lingering at Minho’s presence.

“Tell us everything.” 

The King prompted. 

Felix was stopped from doing so by the hasty arrival of the physician.

“Is something the matter?”

The King asked, attention on his sudden appearance.

“I called for him, Father.”

“You? Why?”

“'We had a run in with some bandits on our way here and one of them managed to injure me.”

Felix knew he was understating things but it wouldn't change anything if they were to know how that ambush had gone exactly. 

At his confession, the physician hurried to his side. The tension in the room was palpable as Felix revealed his injured side. The prince was instantly led to a chair as the physician gathered his supplies and tools. Not able to stand the silence any longer, Felix began talking.

He left out the more emotional aspects of the story but his voice betrayed him every time Chan was mentioned.

It was no secret to anyone in the room, the bond Felix and Chan had, but Felix didn't want to give away his feelings so openly.

He only paused when a needle pierced his skin but continued on with clenched teeth about their encounter with the bandits and the rest of their journey there. 

“You should rest up, your Highness.”

The physician told him after stitching and bandaging his wound.

“I can't. We need to make haste. We can't leave them to fend for themselves any longer.”

Felix refused, emotions making his voice loud.

“We cannot and we will not. But we also need to strategize.” The King appeased. "We can't just march without a plan.” 

Felix knew his father was right, but he had already left Chan to deal with the intruders for so long. He needed to go back.

“We can't leave them to fight on their own!” 

Felix stood up, wanting to argue further but his body betrayed him and the sudden movement had a wave of dizziness hit him.

Minho was by his side in an instant, holding him up on his feet.

“Son, you clearly need rest. What use would you be if you can't fight? If you can’t protect yourself?”

His father's words were soft, concerned. Felix had nothing to say against them.

“I understand this is more personal than anything you have encountered before, but I cannot and will not risk the lives of our soldiers and Kingdom due to panic and haste. We will march and we will reinforce our brave knights that have stayed behind, but only when we are ready.” 

Tears of frustration and helplessness threatened to fall, but Felix held them back long enough to bow to the King and leave the Royal tent.

He walked with no destination in mind, conscious enough to not wander too far. 

The exhaustion finally caught up to him and he sat heavily on a thick fallen log in the forest. He was aware someone had been walking with him and was not surprised in the least when Minho sat down beside him.

The knight said nothing but his eyes were kind and understanding when Felix looked at him. It was like the dam finally burst and as the first tears fell, Felix let go. 

The worry, the pain, and the exhaustion poured out of him in the shape of heaving sobs. The thought that he might never see Chan again, never confess his undying love hurt more than words could ever convey.

So Felix kept them in and cried them out instead; Minho a solid presence next to him, keeping him company as he broke down.

He only spoke when Felix's sobs quietened, his crying lessening.

“We need to trust in them. We don't have a choice if we want to remain sane.”

The knight advised, voice throaty, full of emotion that he hadn't allowed Felix to see before.

It was then that Felix realised that the King's words hadn't only broken his own heart, but Minho's as well. Even if completely logical, they did nothing but poke at their wounds. 

“We could leave. Just us two.”

Felix knew how stupid the idea was, but he also knew Minho was the only one he could voice it to.

“We could.”

The knight agreed but it was obvious from his wistful tone that they wouldn't be doing that.

“How long do you think it will take to march?”

“A day. Most two.”

“Two days? Minho, they could be injured by then. They could be d-.”

Felix cut himself short, realising what he was about to speak into existence.

“I know.”

“How are you so calm?”

“I am physically restraining myself from fetching my horse and running back to him.” 

It was only when pointed out that Felix saw how white Minho's fingers had become from the effort of pushing his legs down to the ground.

“But Changbin would kill me if I endangered myself so recklessly and unfortunately, I am much too aware that I would offer absolutely no help to them if I only brought myself back.”

“So what do we do?”

“'We rest, and we eat, and we march for victory when the King commands it.”

--♞--

“They must have made it to the camp by now.”

It was the first time either of them had spoken since they had sat down against the wall to rest.

The enemy had managed to take the lower city, pushing them to the second wall of defences. There Chan and his knights had taken a few moments to rest as their archers and rest of their army held the enemy back.

Chan looked at the sky, the night having left them. Dawn had broken some time during the last attack.

“They must have.”

Of course, what neither voiced but Chan was certain they were both thinking was that they must have made it to the camp, but only if there was not trouble on the way. 

Chan had no way of knowing whether there were men waiting to kill anyone that had fled the castle. He couldn't even know if his messages had reached the King's camp. If they would ever.

Had no way of knowing if the crown prince was alive. It was a devastating burden to live with, the doubt and worry and utter fear of the unknown.

He could only imagine what Felix, what Minho, would be dealing with. How they dealt with the uncertainty and danger they had fled the palace at.

Chan could do nothing but hope. But time was passing and that hope was diminishing.

Even if Felix made it to the King's camp, Chan knew how the King would act upon hearing the news. He would not rush his army back, would not risk them without a solid plan and scouting.

It was, without a doubt, the right course of action and Chan had known from the moment the alarm had sounded.

Had known when he had helped Felix and Minho escape. 

Had known when he had promised Felix they would be seeing each other again.

When he had looked into those beautiful eyes.

When he had roped Minho into it, no doubt earning the knight's eternal disdain.

As the man in charge, Chan had known what his responsibilities would be.

He had also been aware of his fate if it came down to it.

“I wish I had confessed.”

Chan whispered, sombre and regretful.

He heard the way Changbin's words stuttered when he replied, equally as sombre.

“I-I know.”

“Do you think they will ever forgive me?”

Chan didn't have to specify who he meant, knew Changbin would understand.

“Minho understands, and he might convince Felix to understand as well.”

Understanding did not equal forgiveness. He said as much to Changbin.

“No. No, it doesn’t.”

A heavy pause and then: “For what is worth, he is in love with you too.”

Chan let his eyes close at the words, a single tear escaping his eyes.

“I know.”

And he did. How could he not?

Only a few years apart, the two of them had grown up together so he prided himself on his knowledge of everything involving the crowned prince. His feelings for Chan no exception.

But he had never allowed himself to dream, hadn't even entertained the idea of confessing. How could he? When Felix was destined to be King and Chan his personal knight.

Felix’s love was equally a blessing and a curse. Still, at a time like that, he wished he had at least let the younger man know that he was loved.

And he was. So, so much.

Chan's love for him a bright and burning thing. Felix deserved to know someone he loved, loved him back just as much. If not more. Felix deserved to know, even if Chan wouldn’t be the one to tell him.

“Will you tell him?”

Chan hated burdening his closest friend with one other thing but he had to. Changbin would be the only one Felix would listen to.

“Chan…”

His name a broken sound from Changbin's mouth.

“Please, Bin.”

Another tear.

“Okay. Okay, Chan. I will.”

Chan could hear the tears through his words but didn't comment on them. He wasn't any better and he wouldn't begrudge Changbin for that.

“Sir!”

The call came and with it, the realisation that things would be over soon.

Chan chanced a glance towards Changbin. 

Their eyes met, blurry and red.

Chan tried for a smile but failed halfway through. 

Reaching out, Chan clasped Changbin's shoulder.

“Live and let him know. Live.” 

With that, Chan turned around.

He looked up at the sky, allowing himself to take in the beauty of a breaking dawn and prayed at it that Felix would eventually forgive him.

--♚--

The King's orders were not to be fought against, so Felix didn't even try. Knew his father's logic was infallible and undisputable no matter how much it frustrated the crown prince.

This couldn't be rushed but it was also making Felix's desperation grow exponentially, having to wait while Chan was defending their Kingdom with more than half the army gone.

With nothing else to do, Felix followed Minho's advice. He rested, and ate, and allowed his wound to be cleaned and looked at without protest.

He reunited with Hyunjin and Jeongin, the King's most trusted assassins and spies despite their age. 

Felix barely spent any time with the duo growing up, but he still considered them his friends.

Despite not being so close, Hyunjin didn't hesitate to gather Felix in his arms when they saw each other. He must have been informed of Felix’s injury because his hug was loose and careful but warm nonetheless.

Hyunjin, much like Jeongin, held a different perspective over Felix's position and importance. Their roles and duties different from anyone else’s. They had been trained in the skill of secrecy and killing, a very different approach to guarding the Kingdom but vital in its deadliness.

And just like almost the whole Kingdom, the two young men loved and looked up to Chan. Their worry written all over their faces when they asked Felix to recount the attack.

It made Felix feel better and worse at the same time.

With the five of them together, an unusual group of tentative companionship, it was easier for Felix to keep out of his head. He attended meetings, helped with planning their attack, kept his mouth shut and eyes from watering at any mention of Chan.

He also stopped himself from cursing his father and the Knight-Commander out when they finally settled on a plan. Felix was burning with rage as he left the royal tent, walking straight ahead with murder in his mind.

He heard people falling into step behind him but he didn't bother to look. Everyone understood to stay away from him, so Felix knew it could only be one of his five friends following him. 

Much like when he had first arrived at camp, Felix walked into the forest but didn't wander too far away. 

Too angry to sit down, Felix just stopped and stood still, staring into the dense, wild nature.

“We are leaving at dawn but we are going to march slowly. It could take us two to three days to reach the castle because we can't risk tiring the soldiers out. The people not fighting will follow behind even slower.”

Felix had no intention of actually speaking, but once he started he couldn't stop. Knowing that only his closest friends were around, the prince finally let his anger show.

“It's been two days since we left the castle, one more until we leave and it could take us up to three days to go back. Thank means six days in total before we make it back. Six. Days!”

Felix was shouting now but he couldn't stop.

“Six days since the attack started. Six days since the remaining knights and soldiers had been tasked with defending my Kingdom. Six fucking days since Chan had promised me we will see each other again.”

The tears came running down his face but Felix ignored them, too heartbroken to care.

“He sent me to get reinforcements and it is going to take six days for them to get there. I'm so scared that by the time we arrive, it's going to be too late…”

Felix didn't think he had ever heard his voice so broken before. Only when his beloved dog had died of old age, but he had Chan by his side then, letting him cry on his shoulder and hug him tightly until it stopped hurting so much.

There was a possibility that was slowly becoming reality that Felix would never get to see Chan again. Never get to look into his kind eyes, see his dimpled smile, and feel his warm embrace.

There was a chance that Felix would never get to confess to the love of his life. Never get to feel his hands on him, gentle like only Chan could be.

Felix would never recover if he lost Chan and that was a certainty.

"W-What if he's- what if I never…”

Felix's words petered out, a sob stuck in his throat at the things he couldn't voice but couldn't help but think.

Warm hands cupped his face and Felix was equally surprised and not when he raised his eyes and met Minho's cat-like ones.

Minho was breaking rules and laws by touching Felix like that but they were past that point. Alone in the forest, there was no one around to see a mere knight touching the crown prince so easily.

Rules be damned, Felix clung to Minho's forearms, pulling comfort from the only person that really understood how he felt.

“Don't do this to yourself. Don't allow your thoughts to get so pessimistic that you lose hope.”

Felix took every word in, trying to use them to calm his crying.

“It is frustrating and it is scary to think of the time it will take us to return and the scene we will witness upon arrival. Just the idea of not seeing Changbin again makes me want to rage and cry and never wake again. But at the same time, the idea of seeing him again makes me want to laugh and cry and go to sleep so I can wake up.” 

The knight's eyes had become red and wet but not a single tear fell. Instead a smile took up his face, even if pained.

“Knowing that he is thinking the same way, feeling the same things makes me remember that he will do anything to keep himself alive.”

“But you have been together for so long. Chan and I, we are not the same.”

“Just because he hasn't confessed doesn't mean he loves you any less. Felix, Chan would die for you, yes. But more importantly, Chan will live for you. So, we rest and we march and when we get there, we fight for our loved ones harder than ever before. Okay?” 

“Okay.”

“And after the battle is won, you finally fucking confess to Chan because I am sick of seeing him hurting.” 

Felix gasped at the knight's boldness before the words registered. 

“Wait, what? Why is he hurting? What do you mean?” 

“This is all I will say but please know, you're not the only one drowning.” 

With that, the knight pulled back, giving space to Felix's best friends to wrap their arms around the prince.

Felix pulled them in tight, gaining comfort from their warmth even as a million questions plagued his mind.

He wasn't blind to Chan's fondness towards him, nor would he deny that he always got the feeling that there was something more between them.

Of course, Felix knew he had been in love with Chan since he was much younger. Knew the feelings he held towards his older friend and later personal knight far surpassed that of admiration and friendship. 

He had never entertained the idea, however, that his knight, Felix's self-proclaimed other half of his soul, would be sharing those feelings.

Chan had never shown any such interest in Felix but still managed to fill Felix's loneliness and need for love. Felix wasn't naive; he understood that their differences in statures were enough to always keep them apart. But if there was even a slight chance Chan returned his feelings, then Felix would make it his mission to prove that no duty, no crown, would keep him away.

Felix would give up everything to be with Chan.

Felix's sleep was restless that night; thoughts of what ifs and what could bes plaguing his mind.

He was one of the first ones up and ready. Had the physician called the moment the camp was waking up to get his daily treatment.

The wound still bothered him, nowhere near healed but enough to not need constant supervision. With his things at hand, Felix walked out of his tent and towards the horses.

He wasn't surprised to find Minho already tending at his own horse.

“Good morning.”

Felix kept his voice low not to spook the slightly agitated animals.

“Good morning, your Highness.”

Minho replied with a soft voice and a respectful bow. 

“I think we are past such distant treatment, don't you think?” 

Felix asked as he walked to Chestnut. The horse immediately leant into his touch, looking for the treat Felix always greeted him with.

“I don't think I will be able to do that easily, your Highness.” 

Minho replied, eyes still on his horse.

Understanding the knight's wishes, Felix didn't insist. He would eventually wear the older man down; Felix was certain of that. 

“What's his name?”

“Mist.”

"He is very gentle.” Felix commended. “You've taught him well.” 

“Thank you, your Highness.”                                            

Silence fell over them as they prepared their horses side by side. 

Felix understood the knight had had a restless night as well and he felt comforted that he wasn't alone.

The camp began waking completely: soldiers and squires running around collecting things and preparing horses. 

Felix and Minho were soon joined by Hyunjin and Jeongin. The two of them would be riding ahead with the scouts, trusted implicitly by the King to do reconnaissance and make plans. 

After mounting their horses, the duo rode off with a respectful nod and a tight smile towards Felix.

Seungmin and Jisung would not be part of the fighting force but they would still be riding with Felix and Minho until the final stretch of their journey. Then they would be left with the rest of the camp with a few guards to await the end of the battle.

They were marching out by dawn.

The King and the Knight-Commander were at the very front, with the Kingdom’s banners proudly swaying in the wind, Felix right beside them.

Minho, acting as Felix's personal knight in the absence of Chan, was riding beside Felix. The rest of their army and camp following behind them.

Of course, that would only hold for the first few hours of the journey. Afterwards, the lines would blur and Jisung, who had borrowed someone's horse would join him, along with Seungmin.

With such a big group, the journey took time, the horses keeping a slow pace. 

It was difficult for Felix to keep himself from riding forward, but he managed with Minho's words replaying in his head. 

Thankfully, they only took minimal breaks and stopped only at night.

Tents were set up, but Felix hardly used his. The closer they got, the worse his heart was beating. His mind was restless, not allowing him but a few moments of peace before it started spinning. 

Jisung and Seungmin, who Felix had requested were moved to his own tent, were sleeping at either side of him. Felix focused on them, on their steady breathing to slow his own heart down.

Dawn found them again, and Felix was up and waiting for the physician before the elderly man arrived.

Thankfully, he didn't comment on Felix's agitation and apparent lack of resting and went on with tending to the prince's wound.

When Felix mounted Chestnut, he prayed for an uneventful day so they could reach their next resting point in time.

His prayers were heard and they made it to their last camp a few hours before it got dark. 

If the previous nights were restless, that one was excruciating. He was close to the castle, close to Chan, and that knowledge had his hands trembling as his heart was beating in his throat.

Felix couldn't even try laying down, pacing the temporary camp instead.

He nodded at the guards keeping watch, walked softly around sleeping soldiers so as not to wake them. 

It was why he heard the approaching horses, careful as they were.

Walking closer, Felix came to stand next to a soldier. 

“It's the spies, your Highness.”

The soldier stated, making Felix's worry skyrocket.

With a nod, Felix let him be and followed the sound of the horses.

Felix found Jeongin and Hyunjin as they were dismounting. He eagerly walked closer, needing to know what they had to report.

Felix waited for them to acknowledge him and grew sick with dread the longer they chose not to. They had seen him, of that he was certain, so their behaviour could only mean one thing.

They were bringing bad news. News they didn't know how to break to him.

Felix walked closer, coming to stand right in front of Hyunjin, knowing the spy couldn't ignore him then. 

When the assassin finally turned to look at Felix, his heart squeezed in his chest at the look on Hyunjin’s face.

“P-Please don't-don't tell me he is…”

Felix couldn't say the word, couldn't make it move past the knot in his throat. Didn't want to believe it was even possible.

“We are not certain.”

“What? What does that even mean?”

“We tried sneaking in but they have control of the lower city and we couldn’t risk being seen or delayed.”

“But?”                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Felix urged on, hearing it in the assassin’s tone that there was more.

“But we heard whispers of someone in command being captured.”

Felix's legs trembled, his world tilting.

“You think they were talking about Chan?”

Felix asked, desperately hoping they refuted him but knowing they wouldn't.

“With the King, you, and the Knight-Commander gone, Chan is the next most important person in the army left in the castle.”

Jeongin answered when Hyunjin wouldn't, shattering Felix's hopes.

Suddenly everything made sense.

Why Chan had looked at him like he would never be seeing him again the night they parted. Why Felix had felt like part of his soul had died. 

Chan had known of his role and predicament as he urged Felix, Seungmin, and Jisung to leave. He had done it with a promise of seeing Felix again when he had known he would be the most important person left in the entire castle.

He knew and he had gone along with the plan anyway. 

The tears that blurred his vision couldn't be stopped. Felix never knew he could simultaneously love and hate a person as much as he did Chan at that exact moment.

“Felix.”

“You should go to my Father. He needs to be informed immediately.” 

Not waiting for a response, Felix turned around and walked away. 

He wasn't walking aimlessly that time. No, he had a very obvious target in mind.

He found him outside his tent. Whether he had heard the spies' approach or had just come to check on the prince and his best friends did not matter.

Felix didn't care for keeping quiet as he stormed up to Minho and pushed him back with a shove on his chest.

“Did you know?”

The knight was alarmed and clearly confused by Felix's outburst.

“Did I know what, your Highness?”

“About Chan. Did you fucking know he was sacrificing himself the moment I was out of the castle?”

Realisation fell on the knight’s face and Felix had his answer.

“And you still said everything you said to me knowing that the possibility of Chan dying was so high?”

“What did the spies say? Chan can't- he can't be dead.” 

For the first time during this journey, Minho's eyes watered, expression full of sorrow.

“I don't know! They don't know. They heard rumours of him being possibly captured but they don't know for certain what is going on.”

Felix felt his anger deplete, his worry and uncertainty taking precedence once again.

It wasn't like Minho was to blame in all that. It hadn't been him who had made that decision. It had been Chan.

Felix cursed himself for his own naivety and ignorance. How had he not known? How had he not seen that would have been Chan's fate?

Felix should have known better and the anger and guilt that were eating him inside were directed at his own self as well.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Okay? Is that all you have to say?”

Felix didn't care if he was becoming a spectacle, too emotional to think about his image.

“Do you think it was easy on me? The burden and guilt I have been feeling have been weighing on me constantly. But it was my duty, my friend's desperate plea, and I could never ignore that. No matter the consequences. And trust me, they were more than your anger, Felix. I left my heart right along with yours that night, so don't think for a second you are the only one suffering from Chan's and Changbin's decisions.”

Minho's words struck Felix to the core.

“You there! How dare you speak to the Prince like that?” 

A soldier reprimanded from the side, marching towards them with a group of knights. They must have been woken up by the commotion Felix and Minho had been making.

Someone grabbed Minho by the shoulder, pulling him away from Felix and another tried to get in between them.

“That is enough!”

Felix's voice held no previous tremor and heartbreak. It was steady but undeniably fuelled by anger. It had everyone pausing, eyes on the prince.

“You release him right now. He has done nothing I haven't allowed.”

The guards were reluctant in doing as Felix had asked but the prince didn’t lash out even more.

Instead, he looked at Minho.

The knight met his eyes head on.

“I should have known. But you should have told me.”

When he received a nod, Felix took a deep breath before releasing it loudly. With it, his guilt, his anger and his sorrow.

“Now, follow me to the King’s tent. We have some planning to do.” 

Planning around the new information the spies brought them took them what hours were left of their night.

They only managed a few hours of rest before they had to start marching. 

Felix's wound was healing slowly and he was honestly not fit for battle. He knew that, of course, but nothing would stop him from joining the army and fighting to take his Kingdom back.

Tensions had risen when Felix's condition had been mentioned right before the night-long meeting had dispersed. Felix had been adamant on his participation and would not have been convinced otherwise.

Minho bravely, if not stupidly, stepping in when Felix's protection had been mentioned had sealed the deal.

The knight wasn't as infamous as Chan or even Changbin, but the Knight-Commander vouched for him just like Felix did and so, when the knight had pledged to act as the prince’s shield the King had reluctantly agreed.

Despite their tension, Felix hadn't hesitated wholeheartedly thanking Minho for his sacrifice.

The prince wasn't planning on actually allowing Minho to get hurt in his stead, but he was thankful nonetheless.

Personal tensions weren't allowed in the battlefield so any and all grievances Felix still held against Minho had to be postponed. 

So, when Minho brought his horse to stand right next to Felix, the prince gave him a small thankful, if a little tense, smile and a nod. The knight bowed his head slightly, a look of determination on his face.

It was just the two of them left from their little company; Hyunjin and Jeongin had ridden off as soon as the meeting had been over with new instructions from the King, and Seungmin and Jisung had stayed back at the camp with the rest of the people who would not be joining in the fight.

That goodbye had been the most difficult one for Felix. Trying to hold his tears back as he hugged his two best friends tightly, hoping and wishing they all survived this intact.

There were enough guards left behind in case bandits attacked but still, a part of Felix would worry about his friends’ safety until he had them right in his arms again.

The convoy rode in complete harmony and discipline. No one was speaking, faces grim and determined the closer they got to the castle.

Felix was no different, feeling his mask falling into place as his castle came into view. They were still far away, but just the sight of it made Felix's determination rise, his heart stop its wild beating as his training kicked in. 

Felix could feel the energy of the army change the closer they got. They all had something to fight for, even if that was their pride and home.

When the King brought them to a stop right in front of the castle, Felix heard with half an ear the inspirational speech of his father. His mind more focused on Chan's wellbeing than anything the King was saying.

Felix didn't need any inspiration, any words to drive him to battle and give him strength. He was fighting for too many things to need that, different emotions giving him the strength to ignore his wound, the friends he left behind, and focus on the battle in front of him.

When the King shouted and kicked his horse into running, Felix remained silent, eyes focused on what was ahead of him. 

When the first blades started meeting, Felix forgot about everything and everyone, the only thought in his head to remain alive.

Minho was a solid presence beside him, never straying too far even in the chaos of the battle. Felix lost track of how many enemies died by his sword, on whether he had sustained any injuries himself as more and more enemies appeared.

When they conquered the gates and it was time to move inside, Felix let Chestnut go with a soft pat on his back, knowing he would hide away to safety until Felix called for him again. 

His wound pulled and his arms and body hurt, but Felix kept pushing, kept fighting. He worked in complete synergy with Minho, keeping each other safe as they took their home back.

Felix's heart was begging for his eyes to search around for familiar faces, but he couldn’t allow himself to be distracted.

Not when he got recognised and more and more enemies targeted him. He had to fight twice as many people when that happened, not being allowed even a moment's time to breathe.

In consequence, Minho had to fight twice as hard to keep his promise. Felix could see the fatigue settling over the knight and made sure to be extra vigilant for the older man's sake as well. 

When Felix dove towards an enemy targeting Minho's back, the knight accepted the action with a grateful nod, one the prince dismissed. There was no hierarchy in battle when fighting among friends and people you wanted to protect.

When Minho returned the favour, he was the one dismissing Felix’s thanks.

And like that, they went through the invaders’ army, ridding the castle of its unwanted presence.

When shouts of victory sounded in the battlefield, Felix felt the relief right to his soul. It brought with it all the emotions and physical exertion Felix had pushed away in order to survive. His body ached everywhere, he felt light-headed, and his wound had most definitely torn open again. His clothes sticking to his side by what could only be blood.

Felix turned to his right, to assess Minho's condition, only to see the knight's entire body freeze in motion. Felix's heart dropped, fearing the knight was badly injured but then he saw how Minho's eyes widened, his mouth opening before tears started running down his face.

Felix had no time to react, to ask if he was okay before the knight dropped his sword and took off. Felix could only stare, following Minho with his eyes as he ran across the courtyard. He remained frozen in his spot as he watched Minho throw himself at Changbin who was looking relieved and broken at the same time.

Felix watched as Changbin's own eyes became wet as he stumbled back from the force of Minho's body colliding with his own. The prince couldn't help the way his eyes finally looked around, searching for his loved ones.

His eyes landed on his father and the Knight-Commander and relief filled him to see both of them well. Injured but standing proudly on their feet as his father no doubt yelled his orders to be heard over sounds of celebrating and a dying battle. 

The more Felix looked around, the more his hope dimmed when he couldn't find that one face he was looking for. Not knowing what else to do, Felix walked towards the couple hugging each other tightly.

Felix hated to intrude and cut their heartfelt reunion short, but he needed to know. He was a few feet away from them when Changbin's eyes opened and fell upon Felix.

The surprise and relief were first before the knight's expression changed into something that could only mean grief. Felix's breath got stuck in his throat, his heart dropping at what that look could mean.

“No. No no no. He can't- it's not…”

Felix felt himself stumble, his body growing numb, tears of pure heartbreak falling down his face.

Chan couldn't be dead.

Changbin and Minho were instantly by his side, holding him up as Felix broke.

“Changbin, he can't- he can't be dead.” Felix murmured in his delirium, looking into Changbin's eyes in hopes it wasn't true.

“He… He got captured, let himself be taken away as a bargaining chip. I don't- I don't…”

Changbin’s voice broke and Felix refused to listen to his words. It couldn't be true.

“He- he wanted me to tell you he l-”

“Don't! Don't say it. Don't you dare say it, Changbin.”

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Felix.”

Felix didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear any of it. 

He broke free of their hold, pushing their hands away when they reached for him and ignored the calls of his name as he stumbled back and away.

“I need… I need to get out of here.” 

Felix mumbled, not sure if they could hear him, not sure if he had spoken at all.

Blinded by his tears and grief, Felix could barely see the faces of the people in front of him. He was aware of hands touching him, trying to make him stop to talk, but he shook them all off uncaring of his image and duty as the crowned prince.

When he started seeing a very familiar face in the crowded courtyard, Felix realised his grief had broken him to a point of delusion. He could only close his eyes to fight against that, heart broken enough already. He didn't think he could handle seeing Chan's face among the crowd when he knew it couldn’t actually be him.

When his name was called by a very familiar voice, Felix gritted his teeth and willed his mind to take pity.

This was a form of torture he couldn't handle.

Blindly, Felix walked off, not knowing and not caring of the direction he was headed towards.

When Felix stumbled dangerously, he had to admit defeat and open his eyes. Everything was blurry and it took Felix a few seconds to realise it was because of his tears.

He didn't bother wiping them off, uncaring of whether people, his future subjects, saw their prince breaking down. They would have to get used to that; Felix had lost a part of his soul he couldn't, wouldn't be getting back. 

The pain in his chest intensified, his body feeling the heartbreak. It was so intense, that Felix's breath caught, hand rising to grip his chest while the other shot out to help him keep his balance.

Felix felt his knees tremble, whole body wrecked by a sudden sob. He had to bite his lips hard enough to draw blood to keep a scream from escaping his mouth.

When hands reached out to keep him on his feet, Felix allowed them to. He didn't acknowledge whoever it was, but he felt glad for their help. It felt like if he allowed his body to fall, he wouldn't be able to find the strength to get up again.

A voice called his name. Not his title. Just his name.

That heartbreakingly familiar figure came into view again, and that time he couldn't keep the pained noise inside.

Why? 

Why did his mind have to make him suffer so? Why couldn't it give him a moment's time to grieve his loss?

“Felix, listen to me. Listen! He is not dead, that's him. That's really him.”

The words were hazy, reaching his ears through water, making no sense to him.

“I-I don't…”

“I know you don't understand. Which is why I am telling you to listen.”

Finally, the haze cleared enough for Felix to recognise the voice that talked to him, the hands that held him, the face that came into view and blocked everything else.

“Hyunjin?”

“Yes. Yes, Felix. It's me.”

“What is going on?”

“We found him. Jeongin and I. We found him, Felix.”

“Who?”

“Little one.”

--♞--

When Chan had allowed himself to be captured, it hadn't been due to desperation or negligence. It had been a calculated risk to keep his men and the people of the Kingdom alive long enough for the King to come back.

He hadn't known his fate when hands had pulled and pushed him, when chains had been wrapped around his wrists. He had believed he would be killed or kept hostage as leverage for a later time. Those had been the only two options in his head.

Yet, when word of the King's imminent arrival had reached the enemy's ears, Chan found himself being guided away from the castle.

It had been to an opposite direction Chan knew the King would be coming from but that had to be expected. He had just hoped his presence on the enemy's hands would make a difference.

Being tied to a horse wasn't unexpected and Chan tried to keep up with the pace, hoping to spare his wrists further pain and blood loss.

His capturers didn't pay him any mind, content in his peaceful surrender and the difference in numbers. One against five with his hands shackled was not a fight Chan would be taking. Not unless he was to be killed.

Still, when he saw shadows moving to his left, Chan prepared himself. He wasn't stupid enough to mention anything, willing to risk his chances with any sort of interruption or attack. 

He barely managed to hide his utter disbelief when two very familiar faces greeted him for one second before they were gone. He had no idea how they had found him, how they had even known he wouldn't be at the castle but he was unbelievably grateful they had.

Chan tried to be as inconspicuous as possible when glancing around for them as he continued walking. His captors were none the wiser, so when two of them dropped dead from one second to the next, the rest were rendered speechless and uncomprehending.

Chan took full advantage of their surprise and pulled with all his might. The man who had been holding his restraints, not expecting the force, was pulled off the horse. 

Chan's chains left his hands so the knight took full advantage quickly, pulling his shackles towards him and away from his enemy's hands.

With no sword, Chan would only fall back and let the two assassins finish their task. He kept his guard up as he watched the two young but deadly men kill the rest of his enemies with ease.

When they all lay dead, they finally turned to look at Chan.

Their faces were devoid of any emotion as they looked the knight up and down, no doubt assessing his condition. Hyunjin's eyes lingered on his chuffed wrists, a frown smearing his otherwise emotionless face.

“Do you have any idea if they kept the key for these?”

He asked, pointing with his chin at the chains.

“I think the guy who was holding them has it.”

The two assassins shared a look before Jeongin went towards the man Chan pointed at and started patting him down in search of said key.

Thankfully, the man did indeed have it still, so Hyunjin helped Chan keep his hands elevated while Jeongin unlocked the chains.

They made a big thump when they fell on the forest dirt and Chan released a sigh of relief when that weight was off him. Hyunjin kept his hands still when Chan tried to move them, turning them this way and that to see the extent of the damage. He scoffed when he saw his wrists had bled and were covered in both dry and fresh blood.

“Jeongin, search through their stuff. See if they have any medical supplies.” 

The older assassin ordered softly, eyes not leaving Chan’s butchered skin.

“He figured it out, you know. The Prince.” 

Hyunjin's words were whispered but rang loud in Chan's ears. His heart started beating faster, his palms sweating. He had expected it, but Chan wasn't certain he would be alive to face those consequences.

The assassin's face, when he finally met Chan's eyes, held everything the knight needed to know. They had pity and anger all over them, giving Chan the urge to look away. 

He didn't.

“How is he?”

Chan understood it was a loaded and broad question, but he couldn't decide on anything else.

“He is… okay. They all made it to the camp more or less unharmed. But the Prince, he got injured during an ambush. He-”

“Injured? What? How serious is it?”

Chan could feel the anxiety and fear overtaking him.

“Serious enough to need stitches but not enough to render him unfit for battle. Besides, his physical injury was the least of his hurt when we came back with word of your potential capture.”

“I didn't have a choice. I had to take the risk.” 

Chan tried to excuse but it only made Hyunjin scoff.

“You could have made it clear it was a possibility when you sent him off. You knew he was too worried and lost to realise it that night.”

It was the truth, but Chan never meant it in a malicious way.

“We all know that,” The assassin replied when Chan said as much. “But it hurt him, and it angered him worse than I have ever seen.”

“It was a risk I had to take.”

“I hope you have more words to explain yourself than those.”

With that, Hyunjin dropped the conversation and motioned Jeongin- who had been standing silently beside them- forward. 

They remained quiet as they worked together to bandage Chan's wrists up, the knight's mind too preoccupied with thoughts of his freckled prince to say anything else.

Thankfully, the two spies took it upon themselves to further fill the knight in on the situation by explaining what happened and what the plan going forward would be.

“If we make haste, we will be able to aid them in battle.” Jeongin explained as he commandeered a horse from one of the dead men to give to Chan. 

And so, they made haste, pushing the horses to run knowing they would be free to rest as soon as they reached the castle.

Just like Jeongin had predicted, they made it back to the castle mid-battle. 

Chan spent no time waiting for the two assassins as he got off his horse and joined in. Thankfully, Chan had retrieved his sword and armour from his capturers so he was fully prepared for the fight he jumped into.

Through the chaos of the battle, it was impossible to clearly see the faces of the people around him and Chan didn't want to risk getting hurt to do so no matter how much his soul called for it. So, he focused on killing the invaders and defending his Kingdom and his prince.

When the battle died down and the cheers started, Chan finally allowed himself to take off his helmet and wipe his sword clean of blood from his fallen enemies.

With a deep sigh, he took in his condition, glad to feel no serious injuries that would need immediate attention. Chan scanned the faces around him eagerly, nodding at the ones that looked at him in awe, and relief, but never finding the one he was looking for.

He decided to walk around, actively looking, and soon found the next best thing.

“Changbin!”

His shout had the knight in mention and his thankfully unhurt lover turning towards his direction. Chan's eyes filled with tears at the sheer relief in his best friend's face when he realised who he was looking at.

Chan picked up his pace as Changbin did, and they met up in the middle. Chan hugged his best friend tight to his chest, tears flowing free.

“Are you okay?”

Chan asked Changbin when they finally separated.

“Minor injuries only.”

“Have you seen, Felix?” 

“He was with us a few minutes ago but he- Chan, I didn't know you were alive. I didn't know anything about your whereabouts so I… Chan, he thinks- I thought you were gone for good.”

Changbin's words brought Chan a sense of dread and grief incomparable to anything else before it.

"You couldn't have known. Do not blame yourself for that. Do you know where he went?”

“We tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen to us.”

It was Minho who answered Chan this time and the tone of the knight's voice showed his feelings about everything clearly. Still, despite his obvious anger towards Chan, he only lightly shoved him back once, before throwing his arms around him and hugging him close.

“I am mad at you, but also so incredibly glad you are alive. But if you ever think of doing this again, I will fucking kill you myself.”

The threat and relief were whispered in his ear before the younger knight pulled back.

“Now, go find the Prince and end his suffering.” 

With that, Minho pushed towards the direction he presumed Felix had wandered off to. Chan followed the advice and sped up, looking around him frantically for the crowned prince.

It didn't take long to find him but if he had been worried before, he was terrified then. Felix looked completely disconnected from his surroundings, face red with tears as he walked without seeing.

Chan thought for a moment their gazes met and his heart stopped when he realised Felix was seeing right through him. Watched alarmed as his prince closed his eyes and blocked everything from view.

Chan started calling his name only for his voice to be completely ignored.

He started running then, desperate to reach Felix. 

When the younger man stumbled Chan reached out to catch him as if he were that close to him.

He wasn't.

But Hyunjin was, and Chan stared as the assassin kept Felix upright and started talking to him. 

Chan couldn't pick up his words, but they seemed to be reaching Felix because the prince's eyes opened and he answered to whatever Hyunjin was saying.

Chan approached fast and when he was a few steps away from them, he called out to Felix.

“Little one.”

--♚--

Felix's whole world stopped at the sound of that familiar voice so close.

His body stiffened, waiting for the vision to be gone, but as Hyunjin stepped to the side, freeing Felix's view, the prince’s eyes widened.

Chan was standing there, a few feet away from him. 

Felix blinked and blinked but when Chan's silhouette remained, the prince made a wounded noise and was off.

Wounds forgotten, Felix ran as fast as his trembling legs allowed him.

His knight caught him easily when Felix all but flew at him, sobs wracking his body as he clung to Chan. Wrapping his hands around Felix's waist, Chan hugged him tight enough to hurt, pushing against Felix's wound. The prince paid it no mind, hiding his face in the knight's neck and breathing him in.

Felix was crying too hard to speak and Chan held him close through it all. Even when Felix started hitting his back, cursing him to hell and back for everything he had done, his personal knight took it all without saying a word back.

When Felix's anger died down, he simply wrapped his hands around Chan's neck again, holding him tight as the older man ran soothing hands up and down Felix's back. The armour was in the way but the sentiment was felt nonetheless, the action no less comforting.

When Felix pulled back, Chan's hands moved from his back to hold his face. Gently, Chan wiped Felix's tears as they fell, looking straight into his eyes as he did so. 

The calloused hands felt so good on Felix's skin, the touch so right.

“I've missed you, little one. I'm so glad you are okay.” 

His eyes were wet, his voice trembling, raw with an emotion that made Felix shiver.

“Me too. So much. Me too.”

Felix got out through another round of sobs, so grateful to be able to see and touch and feel Chan again. 

The prince could feel eyes on them, no doubt having gotten the attention of every single person around them but he couldn't find it in him to care. Not when Chan was looking at him like he was his whole world.

Maybe that was what pushed Felix.

“I love you. I've loved you for years and I just- I t-thought I would never get the chance to tell you and I- you are here, in front of me when I thought I would never see you again so I have to tell you. I'm in love with you.”

Felix hadn't expected something specific as a reaction, but it definitely hadn't been the pain in Chan's face.

The prince felt dread fill his whole body at the expression. He tried pulling back, but Chan held him still with his hands on his face. 

“No. No. Don't go. I'm sorry… It's just that- I know Lix, I've always known.”

Felix froze. Eyes widening.

“What? I don't understand…”

“I've known you our entire lives, Lix. I know you.” 

“What? Why- Why didn't you say something? I thought. I thought maybe you…”

Felix felt like such an idiot already, he didn't want to feel even more desperate and pathetic and finish what he had thought. Not when it would reveal how much Felix longed and hoped that Chan would reciprocate his feelings. That there had been something between them but they had both needed more time to settle and grow into themselves before confessing.

Clearly, he had thought wrong.

“Let go.”

Felix ordered, needing some time alone, away from this. Away from him.

“No. Felix, don't do this. I'm not done, little one. Please, let me say everything I have to say.”

“I don't think I can listen to what you have to say right now, Chan. I feel like a fucking idiot.”

“You're not, angel. You're not. You know how much I love you. You do.”

He did. But-

“But you are not in love with me.” 

It hurt, getting the words out but they had to be said. Felix had to hear the answer.

The wince on Chan’s face was answer enough.

Felix tried pulling away again, harder that time. It had his open wound throbbing, a wave of dizziness hitting him but Felix ignored it all.

Chan was quick to pull him back in, closer that time. One hand slipped to hold Felix's nape while the other cupped his cheek. Chan tilted Felix's head forward, resting their foreheads together.

“I am so in love with you it hurts.”

The confession was whispered against his lips, the gasp Felix let out breathed in by Chan.

“W-What?”

“How could I not be, Lix? You're so lovely and beautiful and kind. You light up every room you walk into. You light up my whole world, sunshine. So, how could I have possibly not fallen in love with you?”

“Then. Then why? Why do you look so pained?”

“Baby, you are the Prince. You are going to be the King someday. I am just your personal Knight. How could I be happy knowing I can never be with you?”

“Says who?”

“Sweetheart…”

“No. I am going to give up a lot of things for this Kingdom, but your love isn't one of them.”

“What will your Father the King say, Lix?”

“That he is happy we finally did something about our feelings. Or well, mine. He knows how I feel, has seen me stare and mope enough for a lifetime I think.”

“It can't be that easy.”

“It is worth any trouble it will bring me. You are worth it.”

And Felix meant it. If Chan was willing to fight through his fears and obstacles, Felix would fight everyone and everything to keep Chan by his side. 

Not only as his knight and Knight-Commander, but as his life partner and soulmate.

“If you think it is worth it, then I will make sure you never regret choosing me.”

Chan's vow affected Felix more than his confession had. It had relieved tears running down his face as the words resonated deep within his soul.

“Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to try.”

Felix’s own words were whispered between them, sacred and heartfelt.

When Chan tilted Felix's head gently, the prince easily followed his lead, leaning in just as Chan did.

Their lips met in a soft caress, a promise made and sealed. 

Felix tasted salt and knew it wasn't just his tears flavouring their kiss. Could feel how Chan's hands trembled, how his face was wet when Felix cupped it in between his palms.

“I love you.”

He repeated. Again and again, until Chan was smiling in happiness, cheeks rosy and dimples visible for Felix to kiss.

"I love you too, little one.”

Felix knew right then that everything had been worth it if he could finally have Chan like he had always wished for. 

Just like he knew that since they had survived this, they could survive everything.

As parts of one soul finally reunited and whole.

Together.