Work Text:
"Get out."
"Jeanine-"
"I said get out!"
Tears poured from brown eyes. Tris whirled around and stomped out of Jeanine's office. The door slammed behind her. Her heart shattered with it's deafening sound. She screamed silently and took off in a dead run. She could barely see through her tears. Her lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. Her boots felt like boulders attached to her feet. She grabbed ahold of the bannister and flung herself onto the stairs. They came too quick and she nearly fell on her face. Her ankle twisted and she winced at the pain. Her head pounded. She blinked away tears, not bothering to wipe them from her face. She ran down the staircase, away from Erudite, away from Jeanine, desperate to get away from the pain.
Her shoes hit pavement and she kept running. Her muscles burned and her head swam. She kept her eyes dead ahead and ran. She ran as fast as she could. She ran until she could only walk and even then she kept going. Her ankle swelled in her boot and sent twinges of pain up through her leg. I deserve this.
Her mind's eye flashed with images of the pain warping Jeanine's face. Brutal. Painful. The stricken look in her eyes. The fire that usually burned drowned by a sea.
Tris swallowed hard and picked up her pace again. Her ankle gave her hell, stinging with every step. She pressed on, tightening her fists and grinding her teeth together.
Fuck you.
Jeanine's head spun. She reached for a nearby chair only to miss it and reach again. Cloth met her fingertips and she collapsed back into her chair. She couldn't breathe. Her eyes glued wide open. She felt sick. Her stomach churned and her gag reflex kicked in. She swallowed hard and reached under her desk for the waste bin. Heat burned through her and her stomach churned again. She threw her head over the metal can and emptied her stomach of it's contents.
Fuck you Tris Prior. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Her body shook attempting to reject the brutal truth.
Jeanine's mind traveled back to five minutes ago…
"There's something I need to tell you," Tris said hanging her head and swallowing hard. Guilt racked her body and she shook with anxiety.
"What's wrong?" A million things had raced through Jeanine's mind, but none of them had been close to what Tris told her.
"I-" Tris started to cry. Jeanine stood from behind her desk to comfort Tris. She reached for the younger woman but Tris flinched and backed away. "No," Tris sniffled and tears continued to fall from her eyes.
"What is it Tris?"
Tris wrapped her arms over her chest. She wanted to fall to her knees. Wanted to dissolve into the floor. Wanted to turn into dust, to turn into nothing. "I-I slept with Four."
Jeanine stared at Tris unable to believe what she just heard. "What?"
"I-" Tris shook her head. "It didn't, I don't know how it happened… It just…"
Jeanine shook her head unable to process what she was hearing. Her body twitched and she blinked rapidly. I'm hearing things. This is a dream. This isn't real.
"I'm so sorry," Tris sobbed.
Jeanine's mouth fell open. She couldn't speak. There were no words. Tris, her Tris, betrayed her. Fury filled her veins. Tears burned her eyes. Her nostrils flared and her lips turned down in a hard line. "Get out."
"Jeanine-" Tris pleaded.
"I said get out!"
Tris passed out when she reached the edge of the city.
When she woke, the sun had set and the night birds and started to sing. She rolled over on her side and groaned with the soreness overwhelming her body. Her entire body was sore and her ankle stung even worse. She pulled herself to her feet and hissed when she tried to step with her bad ankle. Fuck. Her eyes were drawn to the flashing lights of the wall and she spotted a familiar place not to far away.
Tris planted herself in against the trunk of an old tree. She squeezed in between the roots and braced her back against its rough bark. She didn't mind that it poked and scratched her skin. She rubbed at the sore muscles in her thighs and stared at the blinking lights.
She had brought Jeanine here on their third date. They had talked about art, music, and the various other things they were interested in.
Tris rested her head back against the tree and closed her eyes. She swallowed hard as memories plagued her mind only adding to the guilt she felt.
Jeanine slid her oversized sunglasses over her eyes and grabbed her keys. She told her secretary to hold all the calls and push everything to tomorrow. Her stilettos clicked so loudly against the tile floor no one even dared to say 'hi'. She floored the accelerator of her Jaguar and threw it into drive. She merged onto the freeway and curled her fingers tightly around the leather steering wheel. 70mph… 80mph… 90mph… The motor roared with life as she pushed the accelerator even further. 110mph… 120mph… She drove out of the city away, away from her office, away from Erudite, away from everything familiar.
Tris' raspy voice still rang in her ears.
125mph… 130mph… Tears started to pool in Jeanine's eyes and she let up on the accelerator. The car slowed to a moderate speed and leaned her head back against the headrest. She slouched in the seat and set the cruise control. She pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She swallowed the lump in her throat and propped her arm against the door, resting her head in her hand. Her mind whirled with thoughts. There were so many emotions waging a war inside her mind.
Anger burned through her veins. Disappointment panged in her heart. And a need to understand it all circled in her mind.
She pressed her cool palm against her forehead where a headache was taking hold. She drove out of the city and into the night.
Tris flinched awake when the rumble of an engine brought her out of her dreams. She leaned around the tree trunk to see headlights headed her direction. She watched as the car came to a stop at the bottom of the hill and tried to make out what kind of vehicle it was.
No way. Her eyes studied the car under the glow of the moonlight. It was dark as the night and nearly impossible to see. But the sound, the sound of the car was unmistakable. Jeanine?
Jeanine put her car in park and stared at the wall surrounding the city. The lights flicked on and off and she was reminded of when Tris had first showed her this place. Her heart lurched in her chest and she let herself fall apart. Tears fell hot and fast down her cheeks, across her face. She beat her hands against the steering wheel and screamed at the top of her lungs.
Tris heard Jeanine's screaming and got to her feet. She stumbled and winced as she hobbled down the hill on her one good foot. Her muscles groaned and cramped up in retaliation but she kept on, sped on by another of Jeanine's screams.
Her boots hit the pavement and pain shot up her leg nearly causing her to scream. She forced herself around the car to knock on the driver's side window.
Rap. Rap.
Jeanine jumped in her seat in shock and leaned away from her window.
"Jeanine?" Tris stood outside the car swaying on her feet.
Wide eyes tried to make out the face on the opposite side of the tinted glass. Jeanine took a deep breath and rolled down her window. Her shoulders fell, "Tris?"
Tris drew in a painful breath. Jeanine looked terrible. Her eyes were all red and puffy. Her nose was red and her eyes were still filled with tears. "Hi."
Jeanine blinked a few times trying to make sure she was still lucid. "What the hell?"
Tris swallowed. "I um-" Tris hissed at the pain in her foot and adjusted her stance.
Jeanine caught the painful twinge that crossed Tris' features. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Tris swallowed her pain. "Just took a little tumble."
Jeanine resisted the urge to grin. "Klutz."
Tris shrugged her shoulders, "Guess some things never change."
Jeanine took a deep breath and stared at Tris. The lights from the wall provided just enough light to see the scrapes over her face and the puffiness around her eyes. She sat up in her seat and ground her teeth together. "Come on." She opened her car door and climbed out.
"What?"
"I'm not going to leave you out here by yourself," Jeanine said leaving no room for argument. She threw Tris' arm over her shoulder and helped the younger woman into the passenger's seat.
Tris screwed her eyes closed tight trying to keep her whimpers inside.
Jeanine climbed into the driver's seat and they sat in silence until the interior lights went out. "Why did you…" Jeanine trailed off unable to say the rest out loud.
Tris shook her head. "I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't." She shifted in her seat and stared at the lights on the wall.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No," Tris was quick to reply. "You didn't do anything wrong."
Jeanine cleared her throat and continued to cry silently. "I don't understand."
Tris sighed. "I don't know Jeanine. I don't even know how it happened."
Jeanine drew in a shaky breath. "... When did it start?"
"It was just the once." Tris turned to look at Jeanine.
Jeanine continued to stare out the windshield. "But surely there was some sort of flirtation that lead to…" She sniffled.
Tris drew in a shallow breath and pushed her back into the seat. "I'm sorry... I wish that I had answers for you. I wish that I had some sort of explanation, but I don't…" Fresh tears spilled from her eyes. "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am Jeanine."
Jeanine crossed her arms over her chest and closed her eyes tightly as she cried. Her fingernails dug into her skin painfully but she didn't let go.
They sat in silence for a while, both forced to see the pain the other was experiencing. The lights flickered on and off, again, and again, and again. On... Off... On... Off…
Jeanine wiped the tears from her cheeks and started her car. They rode back into town in complete silence.
"You can drop me off at Christina's," Tris offered.
"Don't be ridiculous, it's far too late."
Tris nodded silently and watched the houses pass by out the window. They pulled in the driveway and a heavy sense of dread washed over Tris. Jeanine helped her out of the car and into the house.
"You can stay in the guest bedroom," Jeanine said helping Tris across the hardwood floor.
Tris remained silent as she hobbled in the direction Jeanine was leading. Guest the word echoed in her mind. She was now a guest in this house. In the house which held all of her belongings and that of the woman she loved. She sighed heavily and gripped Jeanine's shoulder tightly.
Jeanine helped Tris into the guest room and onto the edge of the bed. "I'm going to go get some ice for your ankle. You should keep it elevated while you sleep."
Tris unlaced her boots and pulled one off, but had significant trouble with the other. Gingerly, she pulled the laces free and opened her boot as wide as possible so she could pull her swollen foot free.
Jeanine returned with ice packs, a pair of Tris' pajamas and a first aid kit. "I'll be right outside while you change, let me know if you need assistance." She pulled the door closed behind herself and leaned her head back against it. What am I doing?
Tris fumbled around for a minute until she was able to get her pajamas, which consisted of an oversized tshirt and boxers, on. "I'm decent," she called out and lifted her sore legs so they were on the bed.
Jeanine took a deep breath and re-entered the bedroom her exhaustion getting the best of her concentration. She stacked a couple of pillows under Tris' ankle and wrapped it in ice packs. "Okay," she asked looking up at Tris. The brunette nodded her head in confirmation so Jeanine picked up the first aid kit. She pulled out antiseptic and an antibiotic cream. "This is going to hurt," she warned opening the first antiseptic cloth.
Tris nodded her head and kept her eyes focused on Jeanine. She couldn't look anywhere else. She searched blue-grey eyes for the humanity behind them. Right now all she could see was the mechanical. She could see the Erudite woman dressing wounds and meticulously placing bandages. But the fire, the passion and hope was gone. Tris shivered suddenly feeling cold, only it wasn't from the temperature of the room.
Jeanine dressed each of Tris' scrapes and made sure she had a glass of water at her bedside. She cleaned everything up and turned to face Tris before she turned out the light, "Let me know if you need anything."
"Thank you," Tris replied quickly. You, I need you.
Jeanine turned out the light and pulled the door mostly shut. She left the guestroom, locked the front door, turned out the lights and went upstairs to her bedroom. She peeled off her clothes, put on her pajamas and stared at her bed. Their bed. Her nostrils flared and she glared at the bed as though she could set fire to it with her eyes. She snatched her pillow and switched off the lights. She tip-toed down the stairs and pulled a blanket from an old trunk. She flopped her pillow down on the living room couch and curled up on the cool leather. She laid on her side and stared out at the darkness. Nothing will ever be the same.