Chapter Text
July 16, 1980
In Lady Magdalene’s house for orphans, there were many unwanted children. Children who were ripped out of their mother's arms for being born out of wedlock. Children who were abandoned at the steps of the orphanage. Some still with the umbilical cord attached. But then there are those who were abandoned with such desperation it made the nuns wonder if they should’ve informed the police, only the head nun refused such a thing. Not wanting to risk the police poking around the place to find the past mistakes of their predecessors. No. They will ignore how the man shoved the newborn girl in the arms of the nun. He spoke of his desperation, how this child has to stay hidden until the war is over. The man must have been mental. Ireland and the whole UK aren’t in war. They haven’t been for a long while. But aside from the desperation, the man also looked at the child with sorrow. Caressing her little head and mumbling a sorry before turning his heel and rushing away. The nun rocked the crying infant in her arms as she stepped back inside.
“Poor little baby,” she cooed at the crying infant. “No one wanted you. But you came to the right place.” Her attempt to comfort unwanted children was always by giving the hard truth. No need to lie to children that their parents don’t want them. The sooner they accept, the better. She carries the whimpering infant to the kitchen to prepare a bottle of formula milk. Who knows when the little one had her last feeding. She put the baby in a bassinet that they always had in the kitchen. And while she warmed up the milk on low heat, she inspected the baby with the little medical knowledge she had. Taking off the infant's blanket that was swaddling her. Sister Eva inspected the material between her fingers. It was soft, too soft. And seemingly handmade, since she couldn’t find the label. Who puts so much care into a baby blanket just to abandon the infant within a few days after birth? She inspects the little one’s clothes now. It was a bit on the bigger size for the small infant. But that didn’t hide the fact that it was of high quality. Soft pink velvet that kept the baby warm and cozy. This didn’t make sense at all. In all her years of taking in unwanted children, she has never seen one dressed with so much care. Perhaps the child is deformed or sick; those are often the children the rich would like to get rid of. So the nun pulls slightly at the little limbs, first the arms, then the legs. And every time the infant pulls her limbs back to her body. So her muscles are fine; then what’s wrong with her? Lifting the shirt, she saw what she already suspected: a fresh umbilical stump. The baby is indeed only a few days old. For the first time in who knows how long, the nun felt something tug at her heartstrings. She has been desensitized to human suffering ever since she became a nun in World War Two. Watching people lose their lives, family, and livelihood over and over has made her used to it. But now, seeing a little baby in perfect health and fine clothes being abandoned over seemingly nothing. That made her a little sad, but only a little. Perhaps she should inform Mother Superior about this. Call the police to find the infant’s family. But that will have to wait until morning. Finally, she lifts the baby blanket with the intent to fold it. But an embroidery at the corner caught her eye. She inspects the golden letters stitched into the soft blue fabric.
“Karma Potter.” She reads. “What an odd name.”
June 24, 1993
The years flew by with the wind. The elderly nun watched Karma grow up into a young teen. She would never admit this to anyone. Not her fellow sisters nor the other children who accuse her of favoritism. But she had a tiny soft spot for Karma. It was mostly made of pity, since she was one of the eldest children here that hasn’t been adopted. Perhaps because she’s so accident-prone. Unexplainable things happen around her. And as much as she claims that she wasn’t at fault, everyone always points the finger at her. A young nun once ran out of the sleeping quarter in fear when she watched a blanket move out of itself to cover the six-year-old girl. Claiming that the room was haunted, the nun has refused to step in the girl's sleeping quarters since then. Most recently, a boy was throwing pebbles at Karma while she was gardening. The boy refused to stop, even with Karma’s rising annoyance. So when he threw a rock in her direction, it changed course and hit him on the mouth. Knocking out his buckteeth. The boy kept saying over and over that it was Karma who did it. That she gave him this venomous glare before the rock suddenly changed direction midair. But the girl was diligently pulling out potatoes when a novice found the boy crying on the ground, clutching his bleeding mouth.
Sister Eva watched how Karma sat on top of the staircase with an open book on her lap. A lock of her long brown hair twirled around her finger as she read the pages. The elderly nun held on to the rail as she walked up the stairs. Leaning her weight on the rail to support her wobbly knees.
“It’s a beautiful day, child.” She begins, catching the young girl’s attention. Karma looks up from her book. Giving her attention to her only source of gentleness in this harsh place. “Why aren’t you playing with the others?”
“I’m almost thirteen, Sister Eva, girls my age don’t play anymore.” She murmurs with a sigh escaping her lips. Closing the book on her lap, not bothering to read Dante’s Inferno further. The book was too complicated for her to understand anyway.
“Who told you that?” Sister Eva slowly sat down next to the young girl. Groaning a bit from her aching muscles and bones.
“Mother Superior.” She simply answers. Grazing the old book with her fingers while she remembers how the head nun scolded her for wanting to jump rope with the younger girls.
Sister Eva scoffed in response. “Oh please, I was playing with marbles until the age of nineteen. Won all the big marbles from my brothers, even.”
“Well, Mother Superior sees things differently.” Karma looks down the stairs to see the younger children enter after recess. Their ages differ from four to eleven, the perfect age bracket that allows them to enjoy the wonders of childhood. She sighs again, letting her shoulders slump. “Besides, she’s right. I should focus on building skills so I can get out of here.”
“Speaking of skills.” Sister Eva claps her hands as she is changing the subject. “It’s time to prepare for prayer.”
“What does prayer have to do with skills?” Karma questions, hoisting herself up before helping the elderly nun up on her feet. In the past couple of weeks, she had urged the old nun to start using a cane. But Sister Eva proved to be stubborn. Not wanting to be seen as the frail old woman she is.
“Perhaps if you develop the skills of prayer, you can become a nun like me.” Sister Eva says with a hopeful tone as she hooks her arm with hers. The two are walking down the stairs to make their way to the little chapel.
“If I become a nun, I’m pretty sure Mother Superior will die of how blasphemous it is.”
“All the more reason to dedicate your life to God.” Sister Eva chuckles, always enjoying the slander of her superior. Karma couldn’t help but giggle along. They reached the bottom of the stairs when they were almost overrun by little children. Karma held Sister Eva by the arm to prevent her from tumbling over.
“Watch it, you idiots!” The teen scolds the kids as they all try to run out of the door at the same time. Not even thinking about the elderly woman they almost pushed over. Karma shakes her head in frustration before looking to her side to check on her caretaker. Sister Eva held on to Karma’s arm as she recovered from the sudden loss of balance. Even with her heart beating so fast and her body feeling so weak, she couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Karma scolding the children while taking care of her. She was certain that with the right guidance, Karma could become a good nun.
“Just seeing you…” The elderly woman just smiled as she gazed at the young girl. The girl who she took in when she was just a little baby, and now she’s becoming a young woman. She hopes she will live to see the day Karma takes her vows and becomes a sister. “You’ll be a great nun. I can’t wait until I can call you my sister.”
Karma just politely smiles at her caretaker. Not wanting to crush the old woman’s already fragile heart with rejection. Becoming a nun and living here for the rest of her life sounds like death to her. Death to a life that hasn’t even begun. Karma already had a part of her future figured out. She will get out of here as soon as she’s eighteen. Walk all the way to the nearest town or village and start bartending. Save as much money as she can to hopefully enroll in college and become a teacher or something. She hasn’t figured the last part out entirely. Not sure what she wants to do for the rest of her life. As long as she can climb out of this bleak life without selling her soul or body, then that’s good enough. Although, Sister Eva planted a seed of a nightmare in her head: becoming a nun. She tries to shake that thought out of her as they walk the little stone path to the humble chapel. Taking her assigned seat in the left middle row on the wooden benches between the older kids. The speech of Mother Superior was the same as always. Karma just follows along with what the others were saying. But the seed was growing into a tree in her head. Imagining her life if she were to take the vows of chastity and devotion, or whatever they’re called. Just the idea of taking those vows made her eyes burn with unshed tears. She doesn’t even believe in God. If there is indeed a magic man in the sky, then he sure is a cruel one. A cruel creator not worthy of her devotion.
But what if he is real and this is her punishment for not believing him? God will make her existence as meaningless as it can be. Just to punish her before eternal damnation. She clasps her hands together. Mimicking the others like they were all part of a hive mind. Leaning her forehead against her intertwined hands, she begins her prayer.
‘I never took this seriously. But please, God, if you’re real and do love me as your child. Ease my loneliness. Give me a future worth living for…’
“Are you seriously crying right now?” The boy next to her whispers. Hearing the muffled sobbing coming from her. She ignored his halfhearted concern and continued with her prayer. He scoffs and continues with his prayer. “Whiny bitch.”
‘I promise I will be kind and humble. I won’t be greedy and give to the poor. Just don’t let me die in this place…'
“Mother Superior? Potter won’t stop whining,” the boy stands to catch the attention of the head nun. She looks over the heads of the praying children until her eyes land on Karma’s brown hair, her face hidden behind her praying hands. The sight of her shoulders shaking made it clear that the young girl was weeping. Mother Superior was positively surprised to see her weep during prayer. Normally she would smack the girl for daydreaming or bothering others. Maybe this is the start of her turnaround.
“Come here,” Mother Superior offers her hand to the crying girl. Karma hesitantly took her hand. Her hands were now comforting instead of striking fear into her. She allows her to guide her away from the bench. The woman wraps an arm around Karma’s shoulders, giving her a comforting rub on the arm as they walk to the statue of the Virgin Mary.
“I don’t want to die here,” Karma sobs, her eyes cast down. Letting Mother Superior walk her to the front while she continues spiraling about her depressing future. Mother Superior rubs her arm again, a little harder this time.
“Hand your worries over to Mother Mary, Karma,” Mother Superior leans in. Pushing the girl down on her knees before the statue of the Virgin Mother of Jesus. Feeling that this will be the moment this young girl will be redeemed. “Like the loving mother she is, she will ease the pain.”
Karma does just that. Going down on her knees before the towering statue of the Virgin Mary. She looks up at the Holy Mother with teary eyes, clasping her hands tightly together as she recites her prayer.
“Don’t let me die here.” She snivels, feeling her chest tightening. Unable to take deep breaths anymore. Her beating heart was tightening in her chest.
Crack
‘Please…’ She pleads in her head. The people in the chapel fade out of existence. She barely notices the whispering behind her. They felt more like static in an endless void. All that mattered was her and the Holy Mother peering over her. The statue looked down at her with a compassionate look in her marble eyes. Karma has never felt so small and unimportant. She was just a little worthless ant at the feet of a saint.
Crack
‘Get me out of here.’ Mucus running down her nose. Her hands trembling from the desperation, she only wants her prayers to be heard. ‘Get me out of here!’
Crack
A large thud echoes through the chapel. Karma jumps from the sudden sound. Her eyes shot open, her hands clutching her chest. At her knees was the severed marble head of the Virgin Mary, it broke the wooden floor from the hard impact. The cold eyes of the severed head staring at her, blaming her. Karma slowly shifts her knees to turn around. Her heart was beating rapidly to ensure that fear was spread all throughout her body. Making her slightly tremble when she saw all the eyes on her. The fellow children stared at her, the nuns holding on to their rosaries, but it was Mother Superior who she cowards before. Like a little fawn, she made herself smaller while Mother Superior walked down the aisle. Her footsteps were the only sound in the quiet chapel. Karma kept her eyes on the floor, tucked into herself like a fawn begging for mercy from the wolf.
“I didn’t do it,” she whispers, but it’s not even worth the trouble. Someone needs to be blamed.
“Just when I thought you were doing better.” Mother Superior sighs in utter disappointment. Looking down at the orphan with disdain. In the near thirteen years that she has taken this child in her care, she never grew any fondness for her. Mother Superior had tried to get this child adopted. But for some reason, no couple wanted to take this child in. It always began promisingly, with the potential parents showing interest in her. Finding her mature for her age, or they get charmed by the lovely girl persona she puts on. But eventually, it’s like they turn a 180 and show no interest in her. Simply moving on to another orphan to adopt. At first, Mother Superior found this greatly infuriating. But as time passed, her perspective shifted. Karma Potter isn’t a nuisance anymore; she’s a test of faith.
“Take her to the reflection room,” she orders her two sisters. They quickly rise to their feet, grabbing the young girl by the arms. Roughly forcing her up on her feet. Karma proved to be difficult as she struggled against their hold. Pulling back, anchoring her feet to the wooden floor.
“No!” She shrieks. Pushing and pulling to no avail, it was two against one. Their fingers and nails digging in her skin through the thin sleeves of her shirt. The other children gazed in silence at how she was being dragged out so roughly. No one dared to intervene. No friend or foe spoke a word of the spectacle. But one woman stood up on her wobbly legs. Raising a hand in objection.
“There must be an explanation!” Sister Eva pleads for reason. Trying to keep up with Mother Superior, the two sister nuns, and Karma. But her old legs were failing her. Her knees buckling from walking too fast. Nevertheless, the old woman was determined to shield this girl from an undeserving punishment. “She didn’t even touch the statue! How could she ever cause that thing to break?”
“You’ve been coddling this girl for too long. Leave the punishment to me; this is for her own good, Sister Eva.” Mother Superior was unmoving on her choice of punishment. No cry for mercy will change her mind. She pushes open the door to the main building for the other two nuns to drag Karma in. The girl continues to plead and struggle, looking back to plead with Sister Eva for help. Her feet slipped on the stairs from being unable to keep up with the pace of the two nuns. Every time she misses a step, the nuns pull her back up on her feet just to force her to walk faster. Making her miss the steps and tumble again. This went on until they reached their destination, the reflection room. This little room on the first floor was reserved for the worst of the worst. It was hidden away in the furthest corner of the first floor. Away from the stairs and the boy's sleeping quarters. Mother Superior fishes the little bronze key from her deep pockets. Unlocking the door before slowly pulling it open. The hinges creak as the door opens to reveal the infamous reflection room. The first thing Karma noticed was the lack of a window or a lamp, no source of light. The room only had a little twin bed in it. How long was she expected to stay in here? The two nuns that had dragged her all the way here push her in the room with all their strength. Karma stumbles a bit before hitting her legs against the bed. She lands on the mattress, if you could even call such a hard and uncomfortable thing a mattress. The blanket material made her palms itch in such an uncomfortable manner, she had to wipe her hands off on her pants.
“How long will you keep me here?” Karma questions in a brittle voice, eying Mother Superior. The other two nuns who were out of sight. But she could faintly hear them shushing Sister Eva’s pleading.
“Until you’re done reflecting.” It was the last thing Mother Superior said before locking Karma up in the cramped room. The open door is the only source of light in the reflection room, and now her only companion is the darkness.
Four days have passed; she knows it’s been four because they open the door one time a day for bathroom breaks and her daily meal. But one meal a day isn’t enough. The lack of food, water, and light made her feel weary. It felt like there was a thick fog in her head, and it was weighing her down. She spends most of her time waiting for the day to pass until she gets her next break so she can beg to be let out. Trying to prove she’s done reflecting. But the novice in charge of her breaks has shown to have little compassion for her. Allowing her only five minutes to go to the bathroom, drink water, and eat a sandwich. So the best thing she can do is wait until either Sister Eva’s begging annoys Mother Superior so much she’ll let her out. But with no entertainment to pass the time, it proved to be torturous. In an attempt to break the cycle of the reflection room, she sometimes lies on the floor or under the bed instead of on the bed. But even that got boring after the first few hours. That didn’t stop her from trying new lying positions. She’s currently lying on the floor again, but this time she has her legs up on the bed. Paying no mind to how her hair was sprawled out on the dusty floor. She guesses that the floor hasn’t been mopped in a while. Though it didn’t matter, her hair was in need of a wash anyway. Correction: Her whole body is in need of a shower. The clothes she'd been wearing for the past four days were sticking to her skin and starting to smell of sweat and dust. She groans as thinking of a shower makes her think of water, which reminds her how thirsty she is. Licking her chapped lips, she pushes down her need for water.
‘Just a few hours,’ reminding herself that time will fly by if she doesn’t pay it any mind. Perhaps she can manage to daydream a bit more. Imagining herself as a grownup with her entire life figured out. Maybe even forming her own family in the form of friends. Or a husband or a wife to love, since this is her daydream. If she really dares to dream, she'll even have a child of her own. And all the worries that have her weighing down at twelve will feel like a feather once she’s twenty or so.
The sound of the door opening caught her off guard. She scrambles to get off the floor, throwing her legs off the bed. Before she’s even standing up to look the young novice in the eye, she already starts rambling. “I’m done reflecting. I know what I did was wrong, and I will never ever-”
She stops when she sees an old man, a very old man, holding an antique oil lamp to light up the dark room. His beard was comically long and gray. It was his unusual attire that resembled outdated sleepwear that really caught her eye. He only needs a pointy hat and a staff, and then he can pass as Gandalf the Grey. Karma looks over his shoulder to see Mother Superior standing behind him. She shifts her gaze back at the old man, but he was busy inspecting the room. Mother Superior closes the door with a bit of hesitancy. Leaving Karma alone with the strange old man.
“Quite a small room you have,” he notes, taking just three steps in the room, and he already reached the bed. He leans down to rest the oil lamp on the floor.
“It’s not my room,” Karma corrects, stepping around him to keep her distance. But it proved difficult in such a small room. She presses her back against the door to keep as much space as possible between the two of them. The old man makes himself at home by sitting on the bed.
“I believe your Mother Superior called it the “Reflection Room.” She also told me you beheaded a statue, and that’s why you’re here.” He speaks in a soft voice that almost felt assuring that he wasn’t angry with her.
“Shouldn’t you introduce yourself first?” She wraps her arms over her chest. Hoping to come off as tougher than she feels. “You can’t just enter this room without saying who you are.”
“You are right,” the man chuckles a little. “Pardon me for my lack of manners. My name is Albus Dumbledore.”
“I’m Karma Potter, and I pardon you,” She nods, not sharing his chuckling. “Just so you know, I’m not responsible for that statue’s head breaking off.”
“That’s just the thing, Karma, you are responsible. But it’s a good thing that it happened. Because now we’ve finally found you.” He says calmly before further explaining himself. “What do you know about your family?”
Karma is quiet, leaning her weight from one foot to the other. She looks away from the man and shrugs. There isn’t much to tell.
“The man who brought you he—” Albus begins but was cut off by Karma.
“Abandoned. You mean abandoned me here,” She snaps, still not looking at him.
“It may feel like abandonment, but I assure you your uncle had the right intentions,” Albus calmly assures her. Not angry about the tone she has with him. Any of the nuns here would’ve smacked her with a ruler for just rolling her eyes. But he wasn’t like that, and that made her curious.
“Why do you think he’s my uncle?” She asks, this time actually looking at him.
“He had black hair with glasses, am I right?” He inquired. Karma just nods; of course she has never seen the man herself. But Sister Eva always told her that her supposed father, but now apparently uncle, had messy black hair and round glasses. “His name was James Potter. He and I…worked together, you could say.”
“Was?” She points out. “He’s dead?”
Dumbledore is surprised by her alertness but ultimately nods in confirmation. “He died in 1981, protecting his wife and son. Sadly, his wife perished as well. But their sacrifice was not in vain, since their son Harry survived.”
Karma was taken back. Just a few minutes ago, she knew nothing of her family. And now all she knows about them is just making her more depressed. If the information about her aunt and uncle is this saddening, then she doesn’t even want to know about her parents.
“So you came all this way just to tell me that my uncle, who brought me here, died along with his wife… Thank you, Mister Dumbledore; I’m certain I will sleep better now that I’ve received this news,” She steps away from the door and gestures for him to leave. “You may leave now.”
“I’m not just a mere messenger owl, Miss Potter,” Albus stays seated on the bed. His tone turned serious, replacing the previous calmness. “I came here to bring you back to the wizarding world.”
“What are you talking about?” She eyes him as if he’s talking nonsense. Which he is.
“You’re a witch, Karma. Just like your cousin Harry and your late aunt and uncle,” he reveals, no polite smile on his face or anything. Just him staring intently at her.
“Mother Superior! This man is mental!” Karma turns back to the closed door and knocks hard on it. “Please get him out of here!”
Karma turns her head to check on Albus, hoping he would just stay there until someone opens the door. He reaches into his sleeve and pulls out a wand.
“You seriously brought props?” She asks in surprise. This man is actually delusional. The poor guy must have wandered from the nearest nursing home.
“Lumos,” Dumbledore whispers. The room lights up even more with the extra source of light coming from the tip of the wand. Karma was actually speechless now, just staring at the sight of the wand actually making light. The rational side of her guessed this was just a unique flashlight. But the dreamer in her hoped that the crazy man was right and that this was indeed magic.
“You did behead that statue, Karma, with your magic. And it would be a waste not to nurture this ability. Hogwarts will offer you the best magical education for you. Nox,” With a flick of his wand, the light fades away. The oil lamp was once again their only source of light. “You’ll enroll as a third year, so you’ll have to spend the summer vacation trying to make up for lost time. The sooner we start, the better.”
He stands up to approach the door. Gently moving the still confused Karma out of his way before pointing his wand at the locked door. “Alohomora.” And with that he opens the door. Mother Superior and Sister Eva were standing on the other side. Eyes widen at the sight of the locked door opening on its own.
“Didn’t I lock it wi-”
“Is all the paperwork in order?” Dumbledore interrupts Mother Superior before she can finish her sentence. The head nun was still confused at how the old man managed to unlock the door from inside. Though she still hands him all the necessary paperwork. “Wonderful. We’ll be on our way then.”
“You can’t just let this man adopt her, Mother Superior,” Sister Eva protests. The old woman was only wearing her nightgown and thick woolly socks. “There is a process we need to follow, background checks and—”
“I’ve sped up the procedure since he was quite…convincing.” Mother Superior hissed at her senior.
“Convincing? You mean his sack of gold he handed to you?” Sister Eva pointed at Dumbledore with accusations. She wraps her hand around Karma’s wrists and pulls her away from Dumbledore and Mother Superior. “I won’t let him take her!”
“Sister Eva, hand her over. Now!” Mother Superior demands.
“You can’t give her away to him!” Sister Eva argues, her eyes darting from Dumbledore to the other nuns closing in on them. She wraps her arms around Karma, the girl she has cared for since infancy. Wanting to protect her from any further harm this world can do to her. “Can’t you see that he is strange?! What type of man adopts a girl alone?”
But the other nuns paid no heed to her worries. Two grab the old woman by the shoulders and yank her back. Sister Eva tries to strengthen her hold over Karma. Her desperate attempt proved meaningless with a simple tug on the arm by a younger nun; her hold crumbled. Her old body failing to protect the young girl. Karma was pushed away from the commotion. A suitcase was shoved into her arms from someone she couldn’t even register. Dumbledore places a gentle hand on her back as he guides her down the stairs. While walking down the steps, Karma kept her eyes on Sister Eva, the closest thing she had to a mother. She always imagined the moment she would leave the orphanage to be filled with happiness or relief. Why is she feeling sad? It could be Sister Eva’s cries for her to come back. Karma watched until they were all out of view. Dumbledore opens the door for her, which she goes through with hesitant steps. Immediately, she notices a green car with the engine running. A man with a fedora sitting in the driver's seat, seemingly waiting for them.
“Time is of the essence, Miss Potter,” Dumbledore rushes her to the car. “I assumed you would be more comfortable traveling in a car instead of apparating. Most people vomit the first time they apparate; it's best we avoid that.”
Karma just gets in the car, not even bothering to ask what apparating even is. Putting her suitcase in the backseat before taking a seat next to it. Just when she’s buckling her belt, the driver steps on the gas full force. The car speeds off, away from her place of torment of the past twelve years. Looking back through the rear window, she witnesses Sister Eva running after the car. The old woman was unable to keep up, and she knew that, but it didn’t stop her from trying. Karma gasps, Sister Eva is not supposed to run. The woman can barely walk up a stair without losing her balance. Karma screams, yelling at the old nun to stop running. Sister Eva’s leg gives out, collapsing to the ground. The car turns a corner, leaving Sister Eva in the dust and out of sight. Karma turns, tapping the driver’s shoulder repeatedly.
“We need to turn around! My caretaker just fell!” She urges, continuing to tap the man’s shoulder. The driver kept his eyes on the road. Not bothering to even slow down or check his mirrors. “She is in fragile health; please help her!”
“Tch—I'm not slowing down for some Muggle.” He scoffs, shifting gear to go even faster. “Just sit back, kid. Go to sleep or something. We’ll be in London before you know it.”
Karma looks over at Dumbledore, hoping he would have her back. The man who was so kind to her remained silent when it came to Sister Eva, sitting comfortably in his seat as he enjoyed the view of the countryside. His lack of response and care angered her. As she sits back in her seat, her eyes remain on the back of Dumbledore's head. Silently vowing to never forgive him.