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Language:
English
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Part 111 of Novautumn 2025
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Published:
2025-12-01
Words:
712
Chapters:
1/1
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2
Kudos:
10
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69

Weird Flex

Summary:

Following an expensive heist in December 2003 in Princeton, New Jersey, Eliot, Parker, and Hardison show off their gains as they take a walk under the grey sky.

Work Text:

Following an expensive heist, Eliot, Parker, and Hardison show off their gains as they take a walk under the grey sky. The adrenaline rush, which had felt like liquid nitrogen pouring through their veins twenty minutes ago, is now ebbing into a deep, bone-weary satisfaction. They are walking the quiet, tree-lined periphery of Princeton University's campus, the silence of the old-money town a thick blanket against the frantic echoes of their recent actions. The score is solid: three distinct, high-value targets lifted from a private, heavily-guarded collector’s vault hidden beneath an innocuous colonial revival house just outside the main thoroughfare. Eliot has his prize, Parker her shine, and Hardison his digits.

 

The air smells like snow that hasn't fallen yet—crystalline and impatient. It carries the sharp, clean scent of frostbite and the deep, organic dampness of ancient ivy climbing the brownstone walls. The cold is a physical presence, clinging to their clothes and hair.

 

Parker’s black leather combat boots, a bulky, practical choice against the treacherous footing, crunch rhythmically over frozen gravel as she pirouettes atop a low, wide stone wall bordering a manicured lawn. Her arms are flung out like a tightrope walker’s balance pole, her fingers glittering with stolen diamonds—a scatter of cushion-cut stones and flawless marquises that were moments ago secured inside a custom-built, laser-grid safe.

 

“Look,” she demands, not stopping her graceful, precarious walk, but tilting her wrists and shoving them directly under Eliot’s nose as he walks alongside the wall.

 

The action is immediate and absolute. The facets catch what little light escapes the low, swollen clouds above Princeton's gothic campus. It is a thin, weak luminescence, but the diamonds fracture it into a thousand sharp, cold points of color—brief flashes of blue and white like captured lightning bugs. The sheer size and reckless display of the rocks are breathtakingly unnecessary.

 

Eliot exhales sharply through his nostrils, the hot, humid steam from his lungs curling instantly into a white fog that momentarily shrouds his scarred knuckles. His grip on the long-necked glass bottle of a ’47 Château Cheval Blanc is heavy and proprietary. The weight of the vintage claret feels as familiar as the heft of a favored blade. The bottle's glass sweats slightly despite the December chill, the condensation mingling in a disturbing blush with remnants of a security guard's blood near the neck—a souvenir from a non-fatal, purely defensive application of the bottle's base during the extraction.

 

“Christ, woman. Those ain't cufflinks,” he murmurs, his voice gravelly, already sounding tired of the coming argument about fence value.

 

Hardison’s heavy, puff-insulated parka rustles with a synthetic whoosh as he elbows his way between them, forcing Eliot back a step. The screen of his antiquated, boxy Dell Axim PDA tablet casts blue ghosts across his grinning, self-satisfied face, illuminating the subtle sheen of sweat on his forehead despite the cold.

 

"Y'all playin' checkers while I'm out here reprogramming NSA backdoors," he boasts, tilting his head back slightly to gauge their reaction. His free hand executes a flawless, theatrical flourish, diving inside the coat’s lining and producing a chunky, neon-orange plastic thumb drive between two fingers. It’s the highest-capacity flash drive they could buy this year. "Encrypted nuclear launch protocols. Tertiary files, sure, but protocols. Boom."

 

Parker snorts, a small, dismissive sound. “Weird flex.”

 

The phrase, already current in their small, specialized world, is the perfect blend of contempt and acknowledgment. But she immediately halts her walk, hopping down with surprising agility to peer closer at the insignificant-looking piece of plastic. It is irrelevant that one object contains pure, uncut beauty and the other contains the potential for global catastrophe; they are both stolen, and stolen things are, fundamentally, the only things that truly matter.

 

The three of them fall back into step along the empty, narrow path, Hardison’s tablet casting their shadows long and distorted on the cobblestones. They walk close enough that their shoulders bump, an almost domestic rhythm of contact, and their breaths—Eliot’s slow, Parker’s shallow, Hardison’s hurried—are three distinct clouds of steam against the cold air. Above them, the grey sky presses down like a massive, unyielding vault door waiting for the world’s greatest thief, a retrieval specialist, and a technological savant to figure out the right combination.

 

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