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Rekrap dreaded the sensation of skin against his, small touches, shoulder taps, everything. He didn't know why he did, he didn't really care when he was a child, but now every touch sent a wave of paranoia through him.
He thought he left that all behind, all the uneasiness, all the traps, all the fear? Why was he still like this? He trusted his teammates, really did, but every time he could feel it; feel their hands brush against his when passing materials, feel the hand on his shoulder, feel everything. He hated it, hated it all.
...
He agreed to do something with Jojo, didn't think about it twice, just showed up, and did whatever he was told. Stand on a block? Yeah, sure! Jump in a hole? Sounds fun! Jump into some lava? Why not! In the end, nothing bad happened to him! Funny, right? He got rewarded an-... a minor touch, just Jojo placing a few shulker shells in his hand. But he could feel it. He could feel her nails, he could feel her skin, it sent signals to his brain, run, flee, get out. Wasn't this a trust exercise? He was doing so well, why now? He buried the feelings inside him, letting out a happy thank you and hummed as he made his way back to his shared base with Sb737.
He cautiously approached his base, making sure to stop at one point, down an invisibility potion, and start digging in the direction of his base, covering up his trail as he went.
It didn't take long for Rekrap to arrive at his base, it was just as he left it. Well, besides the fact Sb737 was also here.
Wait.
Sb737 is here?
Surprising.
He didn't expect him, but again, it is a shared base. "Hey-hey!" He chirped, waving.
"Oh, hello Rekrap" Sb737 responded with a cheery undertone
Rekrap departed after that so he could carefully place the shulkers and shulker shells somewhere where they hopefully wouldn't be found.
"Sb?" He called out
"Yeah?" Sb737's voice rang out, not too far away from him
"Am I still just seen as this smp's best trap escapist?"
"Um, well, I mean, probably yeah."
Well, no amount of watermelon could cheer him up from that. He expected it anyway, so it didn't blow as much as it would've. Why did it even hurt in the first place? That's the legacy he's built, of course he's just a trap escapist. Without that talent what was he even good at? Speedrunning? Best farmer in lifesteal? He just wished he wasn't so paranoid, that he could just be perceived as a guy who's just here to have fun.
"Rek?" Sb737 called out, noticing the sudden silence on his end
"Hm?"
"Just making sure you're still here with me!"
He just nodded, walking up to Sb737 and watching over what he was doing; another farm apparently. He couldn't tell what. Maybe he should start a small melon farm.
He bit his lip, contemplating the idea before deciding he would push it off until tomorrow.
He leaned against the wall of deep slate, keeping a safe distance away that he wasn't a bother to Sb737 and whatever space he may need to build this thing.
Rekrap watched as Sb737 continued to build, honestly, he wasn't sure what farm he was building yet. There were alot of possibilities... Considering Sb737.
"I hope the lava is flowing for you." Rekrap smiled
"It surely is." Sb737 responded
He awkwardly chuckled, a nervous grin breaking out on his face as he checked the tab list, continuing to watch Sb737 build.
Eventually, he was done. Sb737 smiled and turned back to Rekrap
"Slime farm."
Rekrap nodded, there were slime and he probably had checked before he arrived to make sure there were slime. Makes sense..
Sb737 walked over to where Rekrap was, putting a hand on his shoulder. Rekrap flinched slightly, before standing rigid. "I think it looks fine, do you think so Rek?"
"Yeah! Looks great, don't see any problems..." Rekrap responded with enthusiasm, dragging out the word 'don't' by a few extra seconds.
Sb737 pulled his hand away, watching as Rekrap visibly relaxed, his shoulders dropping from its previous hunch. Sb737 raised an eyebrow, turning to take a step back
"Rek, do you trust me?"
"Don't see any reason not to!" Rekrap awkwardly chuckled
Sb737 would take this as him being paranoid, if he wasn't in a safe base with only him in it. His teammate.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, umm, pretty sure!"
"If you say so."
Rekrap paused, his smile dropping.
"To be honest..." His voice wavered, "I'm not sure anymore. I can think I trust you, but my body says otherwise."
Rekrap fiddled with his hoodie string
Sb737 nodded, letting a small chuckle escape him
"Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. But you know penguins huddle up when they're cold?"
Rekrap nodded "Seems kind of random! But yeah."
"Well.. I guess it could teach you something. I've noticed you always tense up, and just, some touch has benefits, like, for example huddling can keep you warm." Sb737 smiled at Rekrap
"I guess.. it's a bit hard to think of it like that. Instincts that aren't my own, I suppose."
"Well, take your time. I wouldn't expect you to change yourself overnight."
Rekrap smiled
...
A few days had passed since Rekrap had that conversation with Sb
It started small, Rekrap would high five his teammates, brush shoulders, tiny things, he felt slightly uncomfortable, but no urge to run.
...
"Hey, Rek?" Sb737 looked over to Rekrap
"Hihi!" Rekrap responded enthusiastically
"You feeling cold, at all?"
Rekrap grinned "Sure am, what was that you said about penguins again?"
"I'm sure you remember, Rek."
Rekrap was the one who engaged first, taking Sb737 in a slightly distanced hug, with Sb737 slowly wrapping one arm around him. Rekrap did not freeze, did not tense. He finally felt like he overcome his fear, his distrust. Free, in a sense that only he could understand, that he could finally separate himself from the legacy he made years ago.