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‘I once asked you… if you’d still love me if I was a zombie…’
‘You’re not a zombie, Kaveh.’
‘I will be, very soon.’
His voice was shaking.
Alhaitham hated it.
With his back to Kaveh, Alhaitham opened the windows slightly. The sun was setting, slowly disappearing under the vast fields of colourful flowers outside. Pinkish-orange light trickled in, washing the room in a warm ambience.
‘Would you look at me?’
Alhaitham stood. Silent. Unmoving.
‘Please?’ Kaveh pleaded.
His voice was softer. Weaker. Pained.
Alhaitham hated it.
So, he turned around, his dark amber eyes met with bright carmine ones as he climbed onto the bed and pulled his most beloved into his arms. He held Kaveh more tightly than he ever had, as if fearing had he faltered for just a second, Kaveh would slip from his grasp and disappear forever.
‘You’re crushing me,’ Kaveh chuckled.
‘Deal with it,’ came Alhaitham’s gruff response.
They both pretended not to notice the very subtle crack in his voice.
I’m sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Alhaitham could not get the words out of his mouth.
‘It’s okay,’ as if reading his mind, Kaveh responded softly. His fingers found their way to Alhaitham’s silvery hair, carding through the matted locks. ‘It’s not your fault.’
‘You say that everytime,’ Alhaitham refuted.
‘Because it’s the truth.’
There they laid, silence draping over them like a heavy curtain, arms and legs tangled in an embrace while minds tangled in thoughts unshared. Despite how close they were, Alhaitham was mindful to not touch Kaveh’s left leg.
His bitten leg.
Kaveh was itching to scratch the wound under those no longer white bandages, Alhaitham could tell. The bleeding had stopped, but those dried bloodstains remained. A glaring dark red.
A glaring reminder of Alhaitham’s incompetence.
If he had just been a little faster, he could have lunged forward and taken the bite himself. Or if he had just been a little crueler and left that wounded child in the rubble, it would never have been able to attack…
What good was he, if he could not even protect the person most important to him?
‘Will I be okay?’
His voice was quiet. Too quiet.
Alhaitham hated it.
‘Yes,’ Alhaitham nodded. ‘I’ll make sure of it.’
When Kaveh did not respond, Alhaitham continued.
‘I’ll come find you every day,’ gently taking his beloved’s hand in his, Alhaitham spoke. ‘I’ll tell you about everything going on in the settlement, and bring you fragrance sachets. I’ll prune the dead flowers on you, and make sure your hair is always neatly braided…’
‘That’s the most important thing, isn’t it?’ Kaveh chuckled softly. ‘My hair…’
‘Yes,’ Alhaitham said, nuzzling against the other’s blond locks. ‘Always clean and well-kept. I promise.’
‘You always keep your promises,’ Kaveh said, his voice faltering. ‘I can never keep mine, but you always do…’
‘Don’t think about it too much,’ Alhaitham quickly shushed him.
‘Would you still love me if I was a zombie?’ Kaveh asked again.
‘I will. I promise,’ Alhaitham pressed a kiss into his beloved’s hair. ‘Until the day I die.’
Kaveh buried his face into the other’s chest, quietly sniffling.
Alhaitham’s mind drifted back to when the apocalypse first broke out. One moment, they were in college, bickering over some assignment. Then, suddenly, they were on the run, in the fight, doing whatever they had to for survival. Kaveh had promised, then, to always stay by his side, to never leave Alhaitham alone in this world.
Even after they had figured out how to deal with the zombies, rescued those survivors, founded this settlement, and safety was no longer a glaring issue, Kaveh still stuck to his side. As if glued together, they were inseparable.
But, like always, Kaveh broke his promise.
‘It’s okay,’ Alhaitham laid a soft kiss on the other’s temple. ‘We’ll be okay…’
Silence found its way back to them. It was too silent, Alhaitham thought to himself. Usually, on nights like these, Kaveh would ramble on and on about everything until he tired out and fell asleep in Alhaitham’s arms.
Now, he was quiet. All Alhaitham could hear was his own breaths and Kaveh’s occasional sniffles.
‘I’m scared,’ Kaveh muttered.
Alhaitham did not respond.
As moonlight slipped in through the cracked open window and Kaveh’s sobs softened into steady breathing, Alhaitham was left alone to deal with his own scrambled emotions. He buried his face into his beloved’s hair, as if inhaling his scent for the last time.
This was the last time.
‘I’m scared too,’ he whispered finally, the rim of his eyes unnaturally red.
Tomorrow, Kaveh would be adorned with the freshest flower crown and the cleanest clothes. They would wipe his face clean, would spray him with perfume and would fill his pockets with flower seeds that would grow into his flesh once he starts to rot. Those who knew and loved him would come to whisper words of encouragement and say their last goodbyes to him. But they would not cry, for tears were not to be shed at Funeral Rites. Those bitten were to be sent away with comforting smiles, so their hearts could be at ease, so they could peacefully turn into a Blooming Undead and continue to roam this world as a docile, beautiful walking bouquet of flowers.
But tonight, Alhaitham would adorn his sleeping beloved with kisses. He would wipe the tears off Kaveh’s face, and would softly whisper words of comfort. He would let his tears fall, would cry silently for what they were and could have been. He would grieve and mourn his beloved, and would hold him so tightly as if clinging onto a lifeline.
For Kaveh really was his lifeline.
He made it this far into the apocalypse because of Kaveh. He tried to stay alive because he wanted to protect Kaveh. He founded this settlement with the dream that once they managed to develop a vaccine, Kaveh and him could settle down and spend the rest of their lives together, free of worries.
Alas, not every dream could become a reality, no matter how hard he tried.
So, Alhaitham would treasure what little time he had left with his beloved in this dead silence of the night. He would carve his image into his mind, into his heart. He would remember the colour of his blond hair when the sun rises outside his window, and the carmine shine of his eyes when he looks at the blooming fields of flowers by the settlement.
Night before the Funeral Rite, Alhaitham stayed up with the moon and the stars, mourning.