Work Text:
That's it. Kunikida was done.
He had spent his entire day being responsible and getting his paperwork done. He had even done a bit of his coworkers paperwork, as he had finished his own early.
Then he had gone to put his papers in the necessary filing cabinets, which had been an unbelievably hot mess. Although it was expected, considering it had been Dazai scheduled with the task.
But it was fine. Kunikida was nothing if not flexible. He would just fit organizing the cabinets into his own schedule. Maybe he would ask Atsushi for a hand. The boy was pretty good when it came to doing boring office work.
He had made his way to Ranpo’s desk, planning on collecting the small amount of paperwork that was supposed to be finished. Key word being supposed, as the paperwork was somehow even more blank then when Kunikida had assigned it.
Fine. It was fine. Ranpo never did his work either, and the agency was still standing. Kunikida would deal with it, like he always did.
Desperate for something to soothe his irritability, he makes his way over to Atsushi and Kyouka’s desk. Those two always got their paperwork done, even if it wasn't always on time.
Except, when Kunikida reached the desk, there wasn't a page of work completed. Neither Atsushi nor Kyouka had done their work, and with a quick peek at the desk next over, Kenji hadn't either.
Kunikida could feel the lens of his glasses crack with the pure rage he was feeling. Nobody… Not a single person in the agency had done their paperwork (excluding the three of them that had been sent out on a mission).
This was the last straw. He was the only one in the agency that actually did any work. At this rate, the agency would crumble within the next few hours.
Kunikida had to fix this, and fix it he would….
—-------♡–♡–♡—-------
Kenji made his way down the street, a skip in his step.
He was absolutely famished, having spent his entire work day attempting to relocate the baby pigeons that had taken shelter on one of the agency's windows. Kenji would have loved to keep them there, but they often threw people out of their windows and he wouldn't want the birds to get injured.
Unfortunately, his endeavor caused him to lose the time he would usually spend doing paperwork, so he hadn't managed to finish it. He hopes that Kunikida wouldn't be too upset with him, considering he usually got everything in on time, animal emergencies aside.
But now he was heading towards his favourite soba shop, his stomach growling all the way there.
The bell jingles when he opens the door, alerting the cashier to Kenji's arrival. When she spotted the boy, a bright smile spread across her face.
“Hello Kenji! How are you today?” she asked, already jotting down his regular order.
“I'm good, Miss Kachi, how are you?” Kenji asked, sitting in his usual booth.
The woman smiled softly, “I'm great, thanks for asking. I'll go make this for you and then bring it out.” She was quick to scuffle into the back room, leaving Kenji by himself.
The young boy slides his hat from where it was tied around his neck, not wanting something constricting his neck while he was eating. It takes up the spot on the bench beside him, the rim hovering above the floor.
Kenji startles when a ceramic dish is placed in front of him, the smell of soba immediately filling his nostrils. He looks up to thank the waitress, but is shocked to see a familiar face.
Kunikida stood above him, an upset glare on his face. His arms are crossed and his foot is tapping in an impatient manner. There's a crack in the lens of his glasses, which is strange considering he had been doing office work all day.
Office work… Kenji hadn’t done his own office work. It seemed Kunikida was having a bad day, considering he was here and very furious looking. Usually the man would just lecture Kenji the next day, but it seemed that had changed.
Kenji didn't even get a word in before Kunikida grabbed him and hauled him over his shoulder. Exiting the restaurant and making his way to the office, where Kenji's unfinished paperwork was sitting.
Kenji's stomach grumbled as he was hauled away, his only thought being how it was going to be a loooong night.
—-------♡–♡–♡—-------
Dazai wallowed halfway on the counter of bar lupin. He lazily pushed down the sphere of ice bobbing in his glass of sake
He was bored. Usually he spent his day avoiding his work and bugging Kunikida, but today the other man had just been an unstoppable force. The amount of paperwork he had gotten done while Dazai was actively trying to ruin his day was almost enough to motivate Dazai to do his own paperwork. Key word being almost.
So yeah, Dazai hadn't done his paperwork, that was nothing out of the ordinary. Honestly, Dazai didn't know why Kunikida even bothered assigning him tasks. It was expected that he wouldn't do them.
Dazai took a swig of the drink, also bored with the taste. With the amount of alcohol he regularly consumed, Dazai wondered how he wasn't sick of the familiar drink. Maybe that was a sign that he should pack it up for the night
He drunkenly stood up, leaving the drink for Odasaku on the counter like he usually did. The bartender waved at him as he made his way out of the bar, Dazai didn't bother waving back.
He was nearly blinded by the setting sun when he opened the door at the top of the steps, it was much earlier than he would usually leave the bar. Dazai was much more used to a pitch black sky, stars hidden by the sheer amount of light pollution.
Step slow and slightly wobbly, Dazai made his way down the street. All he could think of was flopping into his futon and passing out, maybe he would get lucky and pass away in his sleep.
He chuckled at the thought. After all the world had put him through, he wouldn't be lucky enough to meet such a peaceful end.
Dazai went to scratch at his temple, but was quick to discover that his hands were pinned to his side by a… lasso?!? He followed the end of the rope now secured around him to find a fuming Kunikida.
“Dazai you sorry-waste of good bandages!” he yelled from the other end of Dazai’s binds, "I've been looking for you everywhere!”
‘Ahh. he must be upset about the paperwork.’ was all Dazai could think before he was forcibly dragged back to the agency
—-------♡–♡–♡—-------
The smell of boiled tofu filled the room, momentarily distracting Atsushi from the vegetables he was chopping. He was quick to focus back on the meal he was cooking, not wanting to ruin him and Kyouka’s dinner.
Speaking of the younger girl, she was currently perched at their shared table fiddling with her flipphone. Her ability, demon snow, would appear every so often, a product of Kyoukas repeatedly opening and closing said phone.
Atsushi sighed in exhaustion while he chopped. His day at the agency had been extremely hectic. All he had wanted to do was get his paperwork done, but Dazai had ended up recruiting both him and Kyouka to help him bother Kunikida. So instead of getting his work done like he was supposed to, he had ended up being stuck folding thousands of papercranes with every finished report Dazai could get his grubby little hands on.
When Atsushi had tried to worm his way out of the situation, Dazai had pulled out a handful of cash from his back pocket and Atsushi had found himself with a thousand more cranes in his lap.
Kyouka had been bought out in a similar manner, except Dazai had offered the girl a small rabbit keychain rather than money.
Luckly, Kunikida hadn't seemed too bothered by their crafting. That or, he was much too absorbed in his own work to even notice what the three were up to.
Atsushi planned to apologize to the man tomorrow, as well as complete the massive pile of work still sitting on his desk. It was only fair.
Finished cooking, Atsushi grabbed two bowls from the overhead cabinet, one for him and one for Kyouka. He left the third bowl meant for whenever Dazai came over untouched, as the man was busy drinking at a bar somewhere.
He was quick to fill both bowls and make her way to where he had last seen Kyouka sitting. The girl smiled when he placed the food down in front of her, and was swift to dig in.
Atsushi ate too, the instinct to eat whatever he could get his hands on was still present in the back of his mind, a product of the orphanage he was grown up in. Kyouka seemed the same way, but it was most likely due to the harsh treatment of the port mafia instead.
The two were so focused on their meal that they failed to notice the tall shadow watching them from the sliding glass door.
They were quick to startle when the door slammed open, revealing a disgruntled Kunikida. His usually neat suit was wrinkled, and there were a few stray hairs that had escaped his ponytail.
“Kunikida!” Atsushi exclaimed, nearly spilling his food all over himself.
The man didn't say anything, instead grabbing both teens by the scruff and hauling them over his shoulder. Atsushi made a confused, choked noise, Kyouka just continued chewing the piece of tofu that was in her mouth.
While they were carried away Atsushi could only focus on the sudden sense of dread that pooled in his gut. He had forgotten to turn off the stove.
—-------♡–♡–♡—-------
The whirring of the train speeding by startles Ranpo.
He was quite frustrated with himself. He was supposed to be the greatest detective in the world, yet he couldn't even find his way home via the train.
It wasn't his fault, the train was very intimidating to him. They were giant hunks of metal that were loud and could kill you in an instant. His parents had also never taught him how to navigate said machines, and he was worried he would get lost in the busyness of it all.
He huffed and sat down on a nearby bench, pout decorating his face. He shook the empty soda bottle in his hand, the marble inside rattled.
Ranpo was bored, he had been bored all day. Kunikida had given him some paperwork to do, but he reeeally didn't want to do it, so he didn't.
It was Kunikida's fault it didnt get done anyway. Ranpo never did his paperwork, and he didn't know why Kunikida expected him to start doing it now.
So really Kunikida had no reason to be angry at him. So it didn't make sense that the man was heading straight for him. Sure, he had made a pitstop to collect the other trouble makers of the agency, but he was still coming for Ranpo.
And unfortunately, despite Ranpo’s unmatched intelligence, he would be outmatched. All because he had found himself in a train station, which he could not for the life of him manage to navigate.
so, at this point it was a battle between strengths. And if Ranpo knew anything about kunkida, it would be that the man is insanely strong. He may not look it, but Ranpo has seen Kunikida pick up a grown man and throw him across a room.
His fate already decided, Ranpo just stands when he sees Kunikida approaching from around the corner.
The two don't even have to exchange words, Kunikida just turns around and allows Ranpo to follow him, not feeling the need to hulk him over his shoulder like he did with the other agency members.
Ranpo sighed, he really didn't want to do the paperwork.
—-------♡–♡–♡—-------
Kunikida smiled from his position at the front of the room, watching as his fellow coworkers all filled out paperwork in complete silence. They were all much too afraid of Kunikida's wrath to attempt slacking off. Even Dazai was hard at work.
Leaning back with a grin, Kunikida couldn't help but think everything was now right within the agency.