Work Text:
The sun is shining
The sunbeams are trying to find their way through the drawn curtains on my window
The world is cold outside, frozen and beautiful.
And I’m thinking …
What if?
What if I was someone else?
Someone courageous and strong.
Someone brave and resilient
Resilient to these struggles
That follow me every day, wherever I go, whatever I do.
What if I was somewhere else?
Somewhere that is not here?
Somewhere I once wanted to go, but got lost and sidetracked on the way?
What if I was happy as I once was?
Back when I was a child, not knowing what life would bring?
Back when I was young, learning something new every day,
making friends.
What if I would do things?
Things to change the world?
Things to bring joy to the people I love?
Things to make me love myself?
What if I could find what I am looking for?
What I seem to have lost long ago
The thing that might make me whole again
and soothe my aching soul.
The sun breaks through the curtains on my windows
And suddenly they find me
And a smile starts spreading on my face.
I am all those things, and more.
Someone to bring joy, someone to soothe.
Someone to change the world
My world, small as it might be.
Someone who goes places, and conquers their fears
The fears of not being good enough, fears of failure.
The child is still there, laughing deep inside of me
buried underneath years of hardship and misplaced hopes
of futile passions, regretted mistakes.
I have found what I was looking for
I just never expected it to look like this.
I have achieved so much,
Done and seen things I never dreamed of.
I have been strong and brave, and will be so again.
I have found my people, and reconnected to those I cherish the most.
I am going to set myself free, and the child will laugh once more.
I step to the window and open the curtains to let the sunshine in
The sky is a dazzling blue, no trace of clouds to be seen.
And I smile.
The rain will come again, and it might be heavy.
The clouds will surround me, stealing the warmth from my bones.
But however dark it will get, the sun will shine again.
We need to remember
That the sun is always there, just hidden for a while sometime.
We need to hold on and remember
Because the memory of the sun
helps us bear the days of rain.