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They had all just finished a rough training exercise on a foreign planet - another one of Coran's brilliant ideas - and were trudging back to the castleship in their lions. All of them were tired as hell from fighting off some weird giant rock creature as the planet's smaller residents cheered them on. Not out of any good intent, they just liked watching the fight. Pidge finally unlocked their bayard's second form. Hunk kept screaming. Lance kept referencing Galaxy Quest. It was a wild time.
"Hey come on guys! Never give up, never surrender, am I right?"
A collective groan from the others, and Lance could practically see Keith rubbing his temples.
"Could you keep your mouth closed for two seconds?" Keith grumbled over the comms.
Oh.
Oh this was too easy.
Lance made a mental note to Blue to switch his communications to a direct link, as he'd done so many times before, and brought up a visual of Keith on his interface. Sure enough the other was rubbing his temples. As soon as Keith saw Lance on his video feed, his expression changed to one of exasperation. He could probably sense the sleaze rolling off of Lance.
"Keep my mouth closed? That's not what you said last night."
Keith's cheeks tinged slightly pink.
"Yeah well, I wasn't saying much of anything last night, thanks to you."
"Can't blame you. Your mouth was a bit...preoccupied. Say, when we get back, want to-"
Suddenly, someone else coughed awkwardly over the comms. Which....wasn't supposed to happen if they were communicating on a direct link.
"You didn't switch to a direct comm?!" Keith hissed at him. Lance laughed nervously.
'Blue...you did switch to a direct comm link...right?'
Silence.
"DAMMIT BLUE."
"I'm glad you two are...closer than I thought," Shiro said, "But if you're going to be doing such things just...be safe."
A tick passed. Two ticks. Three. Then cue Lance and Keith becoming walking talking tomatoes.
"Wha...Wha...." Keith sputtered, suddenly unable to form words.
"Just what do you think we were doing!?" Lance screeched.
"No need to be embarrassed-" Lance begged to differ. "When one person and another love each other very much-"
"Oh my God," Lance heard Hunk's shell-shocked voice interrupt. "Shiro, can't you give them The Talk later!?"
Keith looked like he was about to be sick. Lance shrieked.
"I just want to be sure you're practicing safe-"
"WE WEREN'T HAVING S-SEX," Lance shouted, somehow becoming even more red than before. He looked over at his feed of Keith, to make sure he hadn't died. He was slumped over, face in his hands, so he actually wasn't sure.
"I'm not listening to this! I'm not listening to this!" Hunk screamed. There was a crackling noise that happened whenever someone removed their helmet with the comms still on. Lance could still hear him distantly chanting "LA LA LA" over and over again. He assumed he was also plugging his ears.
"Oh," Shiro said plainly. "Were you doing anything else that requires protecti-"
"No! No we were just making out."
"I knew it!" Pidge's voice rang out. "All of you better pay up when we get back."
Lance could hear Hunk's muffled voice screaming "PIDGE NO" but it was too late.
"Pay up?" Keith grumbled, finally pulling his face out of his hands. "You were taking bets?"
"Hey, there's no internet on the ship yet-" Yet? "-what else are we supposed to do for entertainment."
"Who bet on what?" Lance asked.
"Lance!" Keith shot at him.
"What? I'm just curious."
Pidge started listing things off.
"Well, Hunk said he knew you were crushing on Keith for, like, years-"
"Haha, okay, nevermind I'm not curious anym-"
"Years, huh?" Keith said, suddenly sounding very interested.
"Yeah, like, since he first saw you in the garrison. But anyways, Hunk bet that you two weren't going out yet. Shiro didn't want to bet. Coran just said 'Ah, youth,' and went off on one of his stories again. Allura and I both bet you guys had already kissed and stuff, but she thinks you two are going out and I don't...are you going out?"
"Yes."
"No."
Lance squinted at Keith.
"Last I checked, you said yes."
"Yeah, well last I checked we were going to tell the others when we felt comfortable telling them and then somebody messed up switching communication links!"
"I didn't mess up! Blue conspired against me!"
"A likely story!"
"Yeah, cause it's the truth! Just like how we're going out."
Keith just sputtered.
"Alright enough!" Shiro stopped them. "Keep your lovers' spats for later."
"Later we might be...busy-"
"Nope. Don't even think about it."
"Wha...? Babe-"
"Don't babe me. I'm not talking to you."
"The communication error wasn't my fault!"
"Not talking."
"It was Blue!"
"..."
"..."
And suddenly, a voice crackled over the comm links.
"Ah, youth."
"CORAN!" Lance and Keith shouted in unison, only to be drowned out by everyone else's laughter.