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It’s now one of those funny little family stories and most times, Kili just goes along with the flow and laughs with the rest of them.

Of course, he and Fili know the truth and this is one of those things that Kili, Prince of Erebor, born to the Line of Durin, would be perfectly content not to spread around.  It wouldn’t be easy to understand anyway.  

One of his clearest, conscious memories is seeing Thorin smile and at that point in time, Kili had been too young to know or understand that this was a rare thing from his normally reserved, serious uncle.  Or that uncle was the correct way to refer to Thorin.  

Kili has no memory of his Sire and Fili’s own memories are few, though they are treasured and their ‘Amad could be persuaded to tell them of a laughing, mischievous Dwarf with a strong spirit and a brave heart.  Kili is a good son and he honors his Sire’s memory, just as Fili does.  

But this knowledge doesn’t take away the fact that when Kili had just been a wee badger himself, he’d simply known that Thorin was ‘Adad.  Kili had just known these things - that Thorin was a constant in his little universe, just as much as his brother was.  And that there was one other person who was missing, though ‘Amad was there but she was New and though loved just as much, Kili had always known they were missing that Certain Person.  

” ‘Adad!“  Kili had crowed at Thorin, one of the first words he would speak, making Fili laugh though it made ‘Amad oddly sad. 

“I am not your ‘Adad, little one,” Thorin had told him, scooping Kili up in his arms and holding him close, brushing his nose against Kili’s, making him giggle. 

“Silly Kili, he is Uncle,  not ‘adad!”  Fili had admonished him. 

“No!”  Kili had said then and even at that age, he already understood the power of that particular word and loved to use it.  ” ‘Adad! ‘Adad!  Kee want Adadith!”

And at that, Thorin had stilled and been silent.  Kili had placed small hands on Thorin’s cheeks.  “Want Adadith, ‘Adad!“  Because that was who was missing from Kili’s world.  Kili had his ‘adad, his Fili and there were Other People like ‘Amad who were New but loved but it wasn’t the same without ‘Adadith.

Thorin had only nuzzled Kili then even as he drew Fili close and promised that one day, they would find ‘Adadith, but not today.   And Kili would remember overhearing Thorin comforting ‘Amad, who was suddenly sad over this.  

They are your boys, sister.  They are your boys now and my sister-sons and whatever else they were, it is in the past, as was my life then and they will choose their lives now, to forge and shape as they will it.   

But they are still your heirs and Princes of our line, so what choices do they have, really?  Dis had challenged.  

Enough that they need not repeat the same mistakes as I did, over and over! I will not be bound to a name or to a curse - I am Thorin now and no one else!

Kili would only understand what he’d overheard many years later.  But as children, it would be Fili who would take Kili aside and quietly explain that  they were Different in this Now and that was why Certain People were not present in their lives.  And to keep remembering what was Past would only hurt ‘Amad and they loved her and they, of course, did not want her to be sad. 

So Kili agreed that Thorin was Uncle instead of Father and while he and Fili sorely missed the presence of ‘Adadith, ‘Amad was there and Fili would tell him stories of the Father they had in this Now, the one Kili had been too young to remember.  

But in his dreams, Kili was free to recall the Life Before, when Thorin had been Father and they had their Little Father too and that they had different names and lived in a place that was not Erebor. 

So, of course, everything made so much sense when Fili and Kili met Bilbo Baggins and Thorin had kept his promise after all, for here was ‘Adadith, who had been waiting for them in the Shire all along. Of course, there was the matter of Thorin having met Bilbo before, as it turned out, and had been silly enough to leave Bilbo for a while, instead of taking him along to the Blue Mountains to live.  But Bilbo was now with them in their quest to retake Erebor and though he too was much Changed, Kili could still see there was their beloved ‘Adadith, as fussy and clever and brave as ever.  

There were other things that happened, because as much as Thorin fought against it, there were some things that one could simply not deny, such as the gold-sickness that cursed their line. There was that horrible moment when Thorin had raised a hand towards Bilbo, named him traitor and betrayer over the matter of the Arkenstone.  And then, but for Bilbo’s courage, they would have all lost their lives in what the storytellers and bards were now calling the Battle of Five Armies.  Bilbo had almost lost his life but had, instead, lost the babe he’d been carrying, all unknowing.

There was anger, grief and regret on both sides and it had hurt both Fili and Kili to see their beloved Uncles, because these were the titles that Thorin and Bilbo had allowed them to use, suffer so.  It had taken quite some time and it had not been easy, but Bilbo had stayed in Erebor after Thorin had asked him to be his Consort.  There was a great feast held and even the Elves had come, for Bilbo’s sake. Of course, ‘Adadith still had his uncanny way of charming the Elves, despite ‘Adad’s grumbling. 

When ‘Amad had finally met Bilbo, she’d looked at Kili then and smiled, finally understanding. 

These days, Kili is content to watch Thorin and Bilbo bicker playfully in the kitchen that Bilbo insisted should be installed in the Royal Apartments.  There was not much grumbling on Thorin’s part, because it meant that all of the Durins would be the happy recipients of good Hobbit cooking.   

Fili, of course, could always be counted on to join Kili in teasing them both, at least until Bilbo puts them to work peeling potatoes, shelling peas and other jobs in the kitchen right alongside their uncle.  Dis, of course, pretends amazement that Bilbo’s managed to thoroughly domesticate the men of Durin’s Line, even as she keeps an eye on whatever dessert has been planned, keeping it away from Certain Impatient Greedy Dwarflings including the King.  And much later, the rest of the Company will join them and it will be a merry gathering indeed. 

But for now, Kili is content, because his family, by whatever name or title they now choose to go by is whole once more.  Of course, they are still missing one last member… but Mahal is merciful and Kili is confident that he will be along very soon.  Especially since Bilbo’s been getting ill in the mornings again…

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