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Climbing out of a secured window and getting down a whole skyscraper’s facade seemed like a challenge but was as easy as breathing. Using the building’s structure, the town’s geology, and the Force with the well-trained body of a youngster made his little escape almost too easy. Where was the fun? The only thing that added at least a little thrill was the circumstance that Master Kenobi and the other masters who had been invited to the peace talks were still at the party one storey underneath his assigned room. Just one look outside at the wrong time would blast his plan to meet Padmé at the lake district. Therefore, climbing down the building was a risk—but he was known for being a daredevil. He was also a skilled Jedi and one of their best already even though he was barely more than a teen now. And as much as his master would disapprove if he ever found out about his secret disappearances, he was also sure that his first master would have supported him—secretly, quite possibly.
While Master Kenobi had always been strict about declaring himself Anakin’s only master (because technically the council had not given their blessings to Master Qui-Gon taking him on as his padawan), Anakin only ever felt that the late Qui-Gon Jinn had very much accepted him as his own. It was only Master Kenobi’s jealousy—even though Anakin had never been able to decipher whether the jealousy was rooted in him wanting to be Anakin’s only master or Qui-Gon’s only padawan. Maybe it was a mixture of both.
Jealousy was something that Anakin understood and, unfortunately, was used to as well. It had become second nature to him at some point with the wise teachings of the Jedi’s being as futile as only one drop of water in the desert. Being so far from the one you loved more than your very being made you jealous. It naturally did. How could it not? Maybe if Padmé had not been so beautiful (people gravitated to beauty) or kind (kindness made any good heart grow fonder) or clever (which made any conversation a delight) or so very popular…
No, he had to stop listing all of Padmé’s benefits or he would wake that evil beast in him that made him question any smile cast at her or any well-deserved compliment told to her. Maybe it was an excuse only anyway. He would have loved her no matter what and he would also have been jealous of anybody being allowed near her while he himself had to show such constraints all the time.
Yet, he could not stop being a Jedi—not now. Not right away at least. Master Qui-Gon had believed in him and he had believed in him bringing balance to the Force and peace to the whole universe. And who would have known better? True, Qui-Gon Jinn having become a father figure to him within the shortest amount of time did colour Anakin’s own belief in the man whom he had gotten close with lost right afterwards.
It still felt like a dagger to the heart every time he thought about the master who had wanted him right away and who never got a chance to teach him his ways. Master Kenobi cared a lot for him, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, but he was too strict, too caught up in the rules, too deep in his belief that the code had been perfected after thousands of years… And while Anakin could sense that there were cracks to it, Master Kenobi had built a prison around himself to never allow any diversion from the rules. He would never approve or even understand that Anakin was risking his standing among the Jedi. There was no doubt in his mind that Qui-Gon would have been the opposite of his padawan in almost anything—an interesting fact considering how close Anakin’s masters had been. Maybe Master Qui-Gon’s death had scarred them both—and Master Kenobi actually tried to protect Anakin by not allowing even the hint of any attachment. Ever since Padmé had kissed him back, Anakin had imagined his masters arguing about it and he had come to the conclusion that Master Qui-Gon would have explained to him all the benefits of true love, while Master Kenobi would have lectured him on the dangers of longing. And maybe both would have been right…
But what he felt for Padmé transcended love and longing—it meant the complete erasure of his self for the sake of hers. To protect her he would die without hesitation, for her happiness he would leave everything behind—even the destiny that Master Qui-Gon had so clearly seen in the Force…
Anakin looked up the skyscraper after he had safely landed on the ground. He did feel a quantum of sorrow for how his secret meetings broke the trust that Master Kenobi bestowed on him… but it could not be helped. His love for Padmé meant so much more than his affection for his current master…
He managed to chase away the images of his masters (and the minor nagging of his feelings of guilt) while he quickly made his way from the center to the lake district where his beautiful senator was currently residing in a suite facing the beautiful loch. It was only the second time he visited her there but every step had burnt itself into his memory like his life depended on it.
Anakin had a key card for the main entrance, but since the hall was filled with various cameras recording every corner of it, he climbed a tree and jumped onto the balcony to the bedroom his beloved would sleep in for the rest of the month. The left ajar glass door opened wide with a whisper too low to wake the slumbering figure. It also allowed a soft spill of moonlight to fall on the peaceful face of his young wife. Anakin paused at the threshold with his breath caught in his throat. Once more he was overpowered by the sheer extent of his feelings. Finally—finally!—only a sheer veil separated them. It was fluttering faintly because of the fresh air streaming into the room.
Padmé had kept the door open for him, so the veil had been meant to keep the cold from her, but it also lent her an ethereal grace—as though she were a figure from legend or a beautiful dream he might wake from if he moved too suddenly. And wasn’t she too pretty to be true? Padmé’s long hair spilled over the bed in loose, silken curls, glinting in the silvery moonlight. Her features were elegant, flawless and noble with a look that carried a quiet strength even in the most peaceful of slumbers.
Anakin was not angry that the love of his life had fallen asleep while waiting for him. The talks had taken longer than expected, he had been forced to join the party at least for a while before excusing himself had looked unsuspicious, and he had had to change clothes as well. No, it was fine. Maybe he should even apologize for not having arrived any sooner.
After drinking in the sight for a while longer, he stepped closer to the bed, careful not to disturb his wife’s dreams. The cloud had passed by now, and Anakin could bathe fully in Padmé’s beauty. She maybe sensed his closeness after all, though, because her lashes, long and dark and all so pretty, trembled just so while her lips curled into the faintest hint of a smile. Anakin thought of how often those lips had spoken with quick wit and courage not caring if she put herself in harm’s way for what she believed in but also how sweet they tasted on his own and how soft and warm they felt every time she leaned in for a kiss… unless they turned hot and demanding with passion of a completely different kind.
Anakin kneeled beside the bed to touch her cheek but did not. His hand hovered above the pale skin close enough to feel the warmth radiating from her, though. Only in moments like this could he sculpture any detail of her face into his memory to cherish forever. When she caught him doing it, she always laughed, shook her head and asked jokingly: “Do you intend to be without me so soon that you need to do that?” Oh, if only she knew how that fear did burn in his chest—to the point that it made breathing hard sometimes! If only she had known how losing Master Qui-Gon and his mother had scarred him right to the bottom of his soul. Losing her as well… No, not even the thought was possible!
“By my life I swear to you that I will keep you safe,” Anakin whispered into Padmé’s ear. “For as long as I draw breath, I will be yours and your shield to protect you from any harm.”
Eventually, Anakin bent down to wake his love with a gentle kiss.