Work Text:
"Draw me, like one of your French drivers..."
Wait, what?
Liam showed up a few minutes late, and, honestly, still had no idea what today's social media filming was even supposed to be about. At this point, he felt prepared for anything... Well, anything but this, apparently.
The first thing he saw when he stepped inside was his teammate, Isack Hadjar, lying on the floor in the most ridiculously suggestive pose imaginable, holographic lights from the screens around shimmering over his body.
"What? Don't stare at me like that!! It wasn't my idea!" French driver shouted, a little awkwardly, failing the attempt to hold back a giggle. His sight pointed towards their social media admin, who was filming the whole thing on a phone.
"...There is no way you guys are serious..." Liam muttered, brushing off his initial confusion as a laughter bubbled out of him anyway. All this looked extremely silly to him. It looked like that to everyone in this room, to be fair.
"Alright, Isack, let's try another shot." The cameraman cleared his throat, trying very hard to keep a straight face, and they started to film again. Liam stepped a little aside so he wouldn't get in the way.
"I want you to draw me, like one of your French drivers..." Isack repeated his line, grinning wide as the camera was raising up to his face.
Suddenly, Liam's heart skipped a beat, as their eyes met. Of course he knew Isack wasn't actually looking at him, he just happened to stand right behind the current camera position. But it still made Liam feel like those words were aimed at no one else, but him. What a bullshit. Although, not even the last bits of common sense could stop a fizzy, warm feeling from instantly spreading all around his chest. Isack, playfully winking in the end, did NOT help the situation at all.
What the hell was even happening? Liam couldn't tell, couldn't think at all. He swallowed, loudly, probably. When did Isack get so... you know? The right words just couldn't line up properly in mind, as his eyes were strolling around the human figure lying down there. Of course Isack was always looking good, you just can't take this away from him. But this time? It was something different. Maybe it was those lights shining on his tan skin and dark curls. Maybe it was Vegas special race suit looking a little too great on his fit body. Maybe it was his stupid pretty eyes, and his stupid pretty face-
"Don't act like I asked YOU specifically, mate." The thick French accent cut straight through his thoughts, bringing Liam back to reality. Isack was already standing up and giggling, ready to continue teasing his older teammate.
"We can discuss it later though... If you want it so much..." He added, after leaning in to whisper those words right into Liam's ear, the move that made something deep inside him to flare up.
"Oh, shut up, you idiot" Liam jokingly smacked the back of Isack's head, and both of the boys burst into laughter. This guy. Never fails to make him laugh with his stupid jokes.
Were they jokes this time, though? Because from now on, there was one simple, but very stubborn desire stuck in Liam's mind...
He wanted to draw Isack.
The rest of the day flew by very quickly. Everything went as usual, they were filming some things and messing around the paddock. The social media admin tricked Liam and called him a "good boy" on the camera once again. He was starting to weirdly get used to all this teasing at this point.
But what if Isack called him that?...
Huh? Nope. Absolutely not. What was even going on with him today? He just couldn't get this French ass out of his head after that little incident.
Actually, no. It all started way before that. Ever since Liam was promoted demoted to VCARB in Japan, to be precise. At that time, he was on the lowest he has ever been, with his confidence completely crashed after just two races for Red Bull. He knew he was useless, knew he was not worthy of this seat to begin with. And he knew he only made everything worse with his rather arrogant attitude.
"I'm not here to make friends." Sometimes Liam felt like those carelessly thrown stupid words will haunt him for the rest of his career. Not like his carrier will be long anyway, after he embarrassed himself like that...
The first races after demotion brought nothing but just another disappointments. But suddenly, out of nowhere, Liam got a little light in his life. The light named Isack Hadjar. Probably the only person in the paddock who didn't see him as a failure. Even though Isack was scoring points left and right, like it was easy, and Liam could barely drag himself out of P17, he never acted superior. Though, for Liam, at first, it felt like some sort of a sick mockery anyway, and he couldn't help but act like a dick sometimes. But his new teammate was patient. He didn't rush, didn't force anything, just was always there for Liam, gently picking up the pieces of his destroyed confidence and gluing them back together, without probably even realizing he was doing that. For someone so emotional and chaotic in public, Isack could be unexpectedly calm and gentle in person, if the moment asked for it. Somehow, it didn't take much time for him to break through the walls Liam didn't even know he had, as the boys started to grow fond of each other.
Weekend after weekend, results were getting better, and Liam was finally able to feel like his old self again. Well, at least close enough to that. Him and Isack got really close. Closer than he could ever expect. And somewhere along the way, his feelings shifted into something… Weird. He wasn't an idiot though. He knew exactly what those feelings were, but refused to call them what they are even in his own thoughts. Liam never felt this way about a man before. And he was pretty sure that neither did Isack. Let alone does right now.
Back in his driver room, Liam made sure to lock the door behind him. After a moment, he dug through his suitcase for a battered notebook he "borrowed" from someone ages ago and, of course, never returned back.
Why was he even thinking about doing that, exactly? It was stupid and pointless. He knew Isack would never like him back, and his words were nothing but a dumb joke. They were pulling things like that all the time. Saying gay shit is a nature of the every male friendship after all. It didn't actually mean anything. But sometimes, Liam just couldn't help but wish it did.
Still deep in his thoughts, he didn't even notice how he instinctively grabbed the pencil and started to draw, trying to capture the young, charming face of his teammate from the back of his mind. Liam wasn't particularly terrible at drawing, his tree from the Seb's event actually looked decent enough, at least in his own humble opinion. But unfortunately, the racing career from the very young age didn't exactly leave a lot of time on the table to get into silly hobbies like that. A sudden passion wasn't enough. The result looked nothing like Isack.
Finally, the realization kicked him, and Liam snapped the notebook shut like he had just been publicly caught committing a felony, even though he was still all alone, in the silence of his driver room. Jesus Christ... What the fuck is he doing? This shit is probably creepy as hell. But... It was weirdly nice to finally let all those messy feelings get out of his mind at least somewhere else. He rolled onto his back, holding the open again notebook above his face. Isack from the drawing stared down at him, bizarre, ugly, but lovely in its own way. He knew none of this was right. But the paper won't judge him, won't call him weird for doing that, for feeling that. Right?
Since that crucial day, something in his routine changed. Every time Liam found himself alone - in the hotel room, on the flight to Qatar, in the quiet corners of the paddock, anywhere with no one else around, his hands somehow always ended up reaching for that damn notebook. Once even locked in the bathroom, because he suddenly felt inspired and almost physically couldn't hold it and wait for a better moment to draw. Previously blank pages were now filled with, honestly pathetic, sketches of Isack Hadjar. Here is smiling Isack, serious Isack, annoyed Isack, cute Isack... But nothing ever felt right, painfully revealing the lack of the actual artistic talent of the Formula 1 driver. Although, every new attempt was slightly better. Still not even close to being good, but better. And every time he pressed the pencil against the paper, something in his chest fluttered - hope, fear, shame, all tangled together. Every line felt like a confession.
Of course, he would never show these to anyone. Especially not to the person he was drawing. Liam would rather send it to the wall on the formation lap on every race until the end of the season than let this happen. But he practiced anyway, just for himself, even though not a single sketch ever looked like something to be proud of. This weird obsession quickly started to consume every single second of his free time, not leaving anything behind. He actually wanted to get good at this. Maybe it was that highly competitive spirit he got from the racing, even though, in this situation, the only person Liam was competing with was himself. And with the season ending soon, he kept feeling this heavy, almost unbearable at times, pressure in his chest, this weird tension - like he was running out of time, before something slipped away from him, forever. He wasn't ready for the season to end, wasn't ready to lose Isack... Especially not with… all this mess inside his mind, set to remain unsolved, until he manages to get over it, if that ever happens at all. Maybe for Liam, learning how to draw wasn't even really about drawing. Instead, it was about learning to admit something he wasn't quite ready to even think of, let alone say out loud. At least, not yet.
Liam was sitting alone in the unusually quiet break room, twirling the pencil around his fingers and staring at his latest attempt at drawing Isack. Something seemed off again, and he wasn't sure what exactly. By that time, Liam had ready filled nearly half the notebook. The drawings weren't great, but at least they were... Recognizably human now. A huge step up from the blobs he would produce a couple of days ago. And some of them even actually did look a little like Isack - especially the ones he did later at nights, when he was tired enough to stop overthinking and just trust the process. Maybe Liam was a little too harsh on himself, especially for someone who started to draw only last week...
"Hey man, what's up?"
Liam felt like he just had been doused with a bucket of ice cold water. He jolted so hard that the pencil almost flew out of his hand, his whole body stiffened, breath choking halfway up his throat. He was so deep inside his own thoughts, that he didn't notice the door opening, didn't notice someone walking in. And the voice that he just heard... Of fucking course.
It was Isack. Out of all people.
Before he could even gather a single coherent thought, Isack already came up behind him, leaning forward just enough so Liam could feel the warmth of him at his back, and angled his head to see what the other man was working on.
The realization hit Liam harder than the G-force during his latest crash on Mexican GP. He instantly slammed the notebook shut. He didn't react that fast even on the race starts. He probably didn't react that fast ever before.
Liam finally turned around, forcing himself to look at his teammate. Isack stood there, eyebrows raised, looking clearly confused. And stupidly good... As always.
"You scared the hell out of me, mate... Don't sneak up on me like that."
Isack winced a little, lifting his hands in a half-surrender, half-confusion gesture.
"I... Didn't even do that? It's on you for being so dedicated on... whatever you were doing here." He said, stepping closer to reach his hands towards the notebook. Liam recoiled instinctively, quickly pulling it against his chest.
"Huh? Bro, are you hiding the state secrets of New Zealand there or what?"
"No, it's.. it's just notes..." Liam answered, being painfully aware of how unconvincing that must sound.
"Just notes, huh? Since when are you so organized, mate?"
Yep, it WAS unconvincing. Isack's face said it all. He was definitely suspecting something now.
"Fuck off, dude. Why do you care? It's nothing."
"You know that you saying this makes me even more curious, right? If it's nothing, just open it bro."
"No?"
Isack gave him a look full of amusement. He knew that he was in the superior position here and Liam's excuses couldn't stand a ground at all.
"Why? You said it's nothing."
"And then I said no."
"And then I said open it."
"Nope... I don't have to obey you or something, mate."
"Liam..." His voice suddenly depened just enough to make Liam's chest tighten. "Be a good boy and open it."
Those words slithered into Liam instantly, sharp and embarrassingly effective, making him froze.
What? What did Isack just said?
The painful spark shot down his spine like electricity. It hit him even harder than the first time, when the social media admin did that. His fingers were trembling around the notebook. Liam honestly had no idea why this little nickname even had so much power over him. It just... Sounded like something he wanted so badly, craved even. Something meant for him. Even though he would never accept that even to himself.
And in that split of a second, that one moment of stunning, overwhelming confusion, Isack acted. His trick worked. Before Liam could even realize anything, let alone react, Isack leaned forward, swift and smug, and snatched the notebook right out of the hands of his teammate. Liam lunged across the table, nearly knocking his chair over, but Isack had already hopped backwards with a giggle, lifting the notebook high above his head like some sort of a high school bully.
And then he opened it.
Liam's entire body went cold and hot at the same time. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now. It was over. Too late to fight. He just wanted to melt into the floor. Die. Teleport. Anything, but to be here right now.
The playful smirk was already long gone from Isack's face, as he was flipping page after page. His emotions were always so easy to read, thanks to the nature of his very expressive character, but right now? Way too many things going on at the same time for Liam to tell what the boy was thinking about.
Liam himself, though, felt like he was watching his life falling apart right in front of him. His throat tightened, dry and painful. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't move. He felt stripped bare. Exposed. As if every secret, he has been so desperately hiding, suddenly came under the bright spotlight. It just wasn't meant to ever happen. Not like that. Now Isack will probably hate him. Will think that he is a weirdo or something. And worst of all, he wouldn't even be wrong for that.
Liam bended over himself, burying his flaming face in his hands, being on the verge of either crying or bursting into the nervous laugh.
"Bro..." Isack finally broke the silence. "Since when are you drawing? And why... Is it, like... all me?"
His voice sounded confused, but surprisingly... Not judging. Not even teasing. That was rather unexpected, but Liam still couldn't raise up and take a look at Isack's face, pressing himself even harder into his own palms, like it could magically get him out of here. He had to speak up now, had to defend himself... Somehow.
"No... No it's... it's not. Not you." Liam mumbled into his hands, as his voice cracked right through the lie. Well, at least he made himself to say something, that was already a step forward.
"Oh, really? Not me, huh? Who is it then? Lance Stroll?" Isack chuckled, light and casual, like he didn't just expose Liam for something so embarrassing. That was a good sign, probably.
"Uh... Maybe?... I.. just-"
"Had no idea you were his biggest fan, mate, honestly... Want me to help you confess your feelings to him?"
Alright, now Isack was completely just fucking around. But at least he didn't sound mad or disappointed, and still didn't strangle Liam to death. But then, Liam realized. Confess your feelings? Isack wouldn't think that Liam has feelings... for him, because of those drawings, would he?
"Oh hey, that one is good actually..." He added, heroically saving Liam from the need to answer to the previous line. "Looks like me, really."
"Dude, It's not-"
"No, but seriously! You clearly got the talent mate, I like it, good job, really."
Liam felt froze in confusion. The praises from Isack definitely weren't on the list of things that he expected to happen in this situation.
"Now... What about you get your head out of your ass and... Talk to me like a normal person, maybe?"
And, surprisingly for himself, Liam did. Finally unbending and separating his face and hands, just in time before they would probably get glued to each other till the end of times. His cheeks were still burning hot, his ears even more. He blinked hard, trying to get his heartbeat under control, as his brain was still melting.
"Look... Isack, I can explain, mate... I-"
"Calm down, dude. It's weird but... I respect the passion, you know?"
His voice sounded light-hearted enough for Liam to consider these words being sincere. It really went better than he expected... But the tension of the situation was still on him, as he couldn't force himself to look up. Maybe that was for good, because he was definitely not prepared for what Isack was about to say next.
"You actually took what I said during that filming in Vegas personally, aren't you?"
What? Oh god... Is it... really that obvious? The new wave of panic washed over Liam again.
"...What?" Liam babbled, quietly, repeating his own thoughts. "It's not..."
"You know what, it actually explains a lot... You have been so weird lately mate. And you've been staring at me, like, all the time. In the garage, in the briefings, all the time, dude. When you think that I don't look... I wondered if I was just imagining it, you know? I guess I didn't..."
Liam didn't know what to even say. Isack really just read him like an open book.
"Since you seem to have nothing to answer... That is how I see it. Go ahead. Kiss me."
Isack's words detonated inside, blowing apart every coherent thought that was left in his mind. Liam finally looked up at his teammate, eyes wide, helpless, in the complete disbelief of what he just heard. Is he imagining things? Hallucinating? Did Isack just asked to... kiss him? Liam couldn't even process the idea of that.
"Bro... WHAT?... I... Are you-"
But Isack didn't step back, didn't laugh, didn't say he was joking.
"You heard exactly what I said, mate. Now be a fucking man for once, grow some balls, and take what you want."
Liam swallowed hard. That didn't help. At all. His breath trembled. He felt like he was standing on the edge of something huge and inevitable.
"...Take what I want, huh?" Liam couldn't even tell if those were just thoughts, or if he actually let them leave his mind in the form of the spoken words. It didn't matter anyway, because right after that, his brain stopped working whatsoever. Just completely dissolved in a raw and overwhelming desire.
He surged forward, almost knocking down the table, almost knocking down Isack, as Liam pulled him by the team kit hoodie. No thoughts. No logic. The world shrank down to nothing, but Isack's face. Isack's lips. Right now, the instinct had a full control over his body, and instinct only wanted one thing. Isack stared back at him, frozen in disbelief, like he couldn't comprehend the idea of this whole thing actually working.
But it did work. Their mouths collied together in a messy move, too reckless to make any sense. Liam's breath stuttered, he could feel the tremor running through his entire body. If he could think straight right now, he would probably stop right here, before it got too far, before Isack pulled him away and everything between them fell apart forever.
But Isack didn't pull him away. If anything, he leaned in, as his hands landed on Liam's cheeks. Such a little move, but so reassuring, in a way that made Liam press himself in harder, almost like he needed to prove something. He needed to take what he wanted, just like Isack said, before the reality caught them up and ripped it all away.
The kiss wasn't smooth. It was nothing like the stupid fantasies Liam would never let himself to admit he even had. It was raw, awkward even. Too real for something that felt like a fever dream. But maybe that was actually the beauty of it.
After something that could be either seconds or centuries, Liam finally broke the kiss. It wasn't because he wanted to, but rather because he was running out of the oxygen. The driver took a step back, chest heaving, hands shaking, eyes wide, completely horrified by what he just did.
What the fuck he just did?
Isack stared at him. Just stared. Not angry, not laughing, not freaked out, but stunned. Like he wasn't prepared for what just happened at all, despite him literally asking for that himself.
"…Huh..." Isack breathed out, voice lower than usual. "Okay... Yeah. Fuck."
"Fuck... Isack... I didn't... I mean, I did, but... I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I just... Fuck, mate, I... You..."
Isack shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "No, like... I just didn't think that you... would actually do it, you know?"
"Me neither, honestly... I'm... I'm sorry, mate... Really." Liam muttered, burying his face in his hands. Not the first time he did that today.
Isack took a small step closer. He didn't touch, too afraid to mess the things up even more.
"You okay, man?" He asked quietly.
"Dude, no? Why would I? What the hell did we just do?!"
"You... kissed me."
"Yeah, I noticed, thank you..." Liam groaned into his palms, like he didn't just ask for clarification himself.
"And… It wasn't bad honestly. Like, at all."
Liam froze. His hands slowly slid down his face. "...What? Mate, are you seriou-"
"Yes, I'm serious. Liam, you are the biggest dumbass I've ever met, honestly." But before the biggest dumbass in question could act offended, he added, softly. "But... You know what? Maybe that's the thing I love the most about you..."
At this point, Liam had no idea what to even think. Nothing of this felt real anymore, so he just left out a nervous giggle.
"I hate you, dude..."
"No, you don't. You kissed the hell out of me just thirty seconds ago." Isack let out a light giggle, his face was lightened by his usual smug again. "If you do that to everybody you hate, I'm afraid you may just have a thing for the old Spanish speaking men, mate."
Liam was too flustered to answer. The tension didn’t fade after that joke. If anything, it settled it even deeper under his skin.
No, but really, what exactly even happened in the last ten or so minutes?
Isack... saw his drawings. Called him a good boy. The kiss. The confession. The fact that they were still in the break room, in the middle of their team garage, where literally anyone could walk in at any given second. All of this crashed into him at once.
"Oh fuck..." He mumbled, more to himself than to Isack. "Mate, did we just... Make out... Here? Of all places? Someone could've seen... What if someone HAVE seen?... Fuck, man... I'm actually about to die right now..."
But Isack didn't say a word. Just slowly reached out, giving Liam enough time to back down if he needed to, and wrapped his strong arms around him. Nothing weird or dramatic, just a nice and warm hug, full of pure and sincere intention to make Liam feel better. And Liam's body gave in. His chin bumped into Isack's shoulder, as he was finally able to let out a breath.
For the first time since... the start of this season, probably, Liam finally felt like all the worries have faded away. He didn’t even know how long they stood like that, just tangled in a hug, that somehow managed to make everything less terrifying. If he was being honest, Isack's arms was the only place where he wanted to be right now.
"See?" Isack murmured, his voice soft and steady, as he gently run his hand through Liam's hair. "You didn’t die. Not even a little." That made Liam to huff a tiny laugh against his shoulder.
"Now... Let's get out of here, I think. You wanted me to pose for you to draw, no?"