Chapter Text
Nicholas and Euijoo. It was always Nicholas and Euijoo. Everybody knew they always belonged together, no matter in what sense. No words in any language could really define what they were to each other.
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When they were 5, they were best friends. They spent their childhood days together. Getting into the same elementary school and sharing a table made them inseparable.
Doesn’t matter who but if they were apart, each of them would complain on how they wanted to see and spend time with the other. They played with toys and tried to read comics even if they didn’t understand anything. As long as they were laughing and together, nothing else mattered.
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When they were 12, they were still as inseparable as ever. They were still in the same school, having ascended to middle school, but still being in one class and seated next to each other.
The only thing that changed were the toys and comics they'd played with, which were replaced with gaming controllers. Sleepovers weren’t really a thing, they stayed at each other’s place the whole time anyway. There wasn’t a time when they were apart.
They even got the same keychain, Calcifer of Howl's Moving Castle, Nicholas' favorite character. And who was Euijoo if he didn’t do everything Nicholas asked him to. They both tied it to their backpacks. Nicholas was so proud that he told Euijoo that this was the token of their friendship. Euijoo just smiled.
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At 16, life started to make things harder, only ever noticeable to Euijoo though, cause he seemed to be the only one with these kind of feelings. Seemed.
He started to make sense of why he never wanted to be apart from Nicholas, and he was sure it wasn’t just because they were best friends. The way Nicholas would unknowingly put his hand near Euijoo's or look at Euijoo a certain way. The way his heart rapidly increased beating whenever he heard Nicholas' voice or the way he looked so comfortable when they were watching a movie at home. Euijoo could forever get lost in that, if only he wasn’t his best friend. Was he still though?
Nicholas had found some new friends, but he would still try to spend time with Euijoo, which could work if it wasn’t for Euijoo being himself. He sometimes watched them together. They were definitely very different from Euijoo and they even had some similar hobbies that Euijoo and Nicholas did not share.
It started hurting, his heart. And because he couldn’t get a grip of feelings, he started pushing Nicholas away. This was scary. It was completely new. This was his best friend, but even if Euijoo wanted to be more, Nicholas was still Nicholas.
Nicholas would only ever see him as his best friend, he wasn’t more sure of anything than this. Nicholas had his new friends, Euijoo was sure he could easily be replaced by them. It wouldn’t hurt Nicholas if he stayed away.
Though Nicholas tried to keep the contact alive, because of Euijoo's avoidant nature he just couldn’t get through to him, even if that was his best friend he knew everything about. He decided to just leave Euijoo be, he would probably talk to Nicholas after he sorted out whatever he was constantly thinking about.
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At 17, Nicholas realized that maybe Euijoo wouldn’t talk to him again. Every time he passed by Euijoo in school and they made eye contact, Euijoo quickly looked away and fled around the nearest corner.
Euijoo would be clutching his heart after seeing Nicholas doing so well with his other friends. He couldn’t say he wasn’t jealous, but what was he to do? He couldn’t even make eye contact for longer than 0.01 seconds with Nicholas anymore. Hell, they hadn’t really talked to each other in over a year, even though the Calcifer keychain was still on both their backpacks.
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One school day Nicholas was able to catch sight of Euijoo before he did, so he quickly walked over and pulled him outside, where it was pouring. Euijoo tried to refuse, this was just childish and they would just get wet standing outside. Nicholas blocked the entrance to the school so Euijoo couldn’t run away from him.
"Euijoo seriously. Do you have a problem with me? I genuinely can’t take this anymore. Fucking talk to me. Every time I try to approach you you just leave me standing like an idiot. We haven’t hung out in forever and you haven’t talked to me in over a damn year. Don’t expect me to keep on trying to get to you if you won’t ever let me see you. I‘m your best friend."
Ouch, there it was.
"But I can’t be if you don’t even trust me enough to tell me what’s going on. I know how much you get in your head but get over it and talk to me like we always did!" Nicholas was out of breath and the rain kept on abruptly hitting his face.
It had started to storm now, the weather a perfect display of both of their emotions. Euijoo wasn’t sure if he should say anything. If he would lose his best friend because Nicholas thought Euijoo hated him, that was better than losing Nicholas because Euijoo loved him.
So Euijoo stood there, rain having completely wet his school uniform and hair, looking up teary eyed at Nicholas. For a moment he opened his mouth, but he wouldn’t say anything, he would probably never. He turned around and started walking towards the school gates. He had nothing, no jacket, no phone, not his backpack.
"If you really leave me here now..." Nicholas took a minute because his voice started getting caught in his throat and for that minute, Euijoo started walking slower. "…then don’t ever expect me to look for you and understand you again. Then it’s really over."
Euijoo thought that he had never heard this much desperation as well as disappointment in Nicholas voice, but that didn’t stop him from walking away. Not even when he heard a sob did he turn around or stop.
Time started to slow but the storm didn’t seem to. He left through the gates not knowing if his face was wet because of the rain or his tears. He left everything behind that had ever meant something to him. Not only his "best friend" of 12 years but also the only thing that made him believe they still had a chance. The Calcifer keychain on his backpack.