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Ford stared at the ringing phone. Stan was out somewhere in town, and the kids were in their room in the attic. He’d been gone from this dimension for 30 years, so he was bewildered by current technology, but by a stroke of luck or perhaps planning on his brother's part, the house still contained a simple analog telephone on a table in the basement, perhaps because he wouldn’t hear someone calling from the aboveground house.
Should he pick it up? Stan was always the one who answered phone calls. But Stan had pretended to be Ford while speaking to family, so perhaps they wouldn’t notice. That plan held a hole though, which was that while it had somehow fooled their family, the act wasn’t very good, and was as much Stan as it was Ford. No matter. His brother had pretended to be him for 30 years, he could act a little like his brother for a five minute phone call.
It was not a five minute phone call. It was their niece-in-law, Alexa, Dipper and Mabel’s mother. And she was extremely talkative. Ford hadn’t managed to string a sentence together in the 20 minutes she had been talking to him. Scratch that, talking at him.
“So, how are my girls?” she asked, finally allowing him to have a word in on the conversation.
“They’re fine- wait, girls? Plural?” He repeated, confused.
“Yes, Mabel and Madison. How are they?”
“They’re… doing alright. Mabel is very happy.” He said carefully. He found it odd she still hadn’t mentioned Dipper, and yet was asking about her two girls, one of whom he hadn’t even met. Was he supposed to have?
“That’s good. Maddie isn’t as excitable, but she’s a very curious girl. She’s going through a phase nowadays, has she mentioned anything to you?”
“No?” He wasn’t sure how this girl could have mentioned something to him, since she wasn’t in Gravity Falls. Perhaps she was staying with another relative, and their mother was just confused. Best to go along with it until he could figure out how to find this misplaced child.
“That’s good. She even took scissors to her hair about it, can you believe it?”
“Um, no, I can’t believe it.” He could, but he had learned enough tact to know he wasn’t supposed to say that. The girl was most likely experiencing an emo stage, which would be quite normal for her development if she was a teenage girl. Stan’s ex-girlfriend from high school, Katelyn, had once come to school with dyed black hair that looked as if it had been cut by a diseased squirrel. She had been pulled out in 4th period, and when she came to school the next day her hair had been cut short, edges clean instead of ragged.
“Yes well, I’m glad she seems to have grown out of it in your care. I can’t imagine what you said to her, we’ve tried everything!” Ford nodded, before remembering it was a phone call. He made a vague noise of affirmation, feeling bad for leading Alexa on.
“Well, I need to go now. There’s uh… pancakes burning.” Ford quickly hung up, and rode the elevator up to the main house, intent on getting some answers on the strange phone call.
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Mabel and Dipper sat in the attic, each working on their respective projects. Mabel was in the middle of bedazzling the bedframe, half covered in rhinestones and stickers already. Dipper sat on the other side of the room, writing in the journal Mabel had given him after her unexpected trip to the multiverse. It had a cerulean cover, with a baby blue pine tree on it. Dipper had attached a golden ‘1’ sticker to the front, marking it as his first.
There was a knock at the door, and they heard their great uncle’s anxious voice. “Mabel? Dipper? May I come in?”
“Come in, Grunkle Ford!” Mabel shouted, not looking up from where she was using a glue gun to add yet another rhinestone to her bed.
Their great uncle entered the room, looking distressed. “I have a question for you two.”
Dipper looked up from his journal. “What is it, Great Uncle Ford?” He asked, a bit concerned. If Ford was worried, something must be wrong.
“Do you two have a sibling?” Ford asked. That was… not what Dipper was expecting him to ask. He was expecting something about the creatures in Gravity Falls, or about Bill. Not their family.
“Just Mabel.” “Just Dipper.” The twins said at the same time, looking up at their caretaker.
“Why?” Dipper asked, tilting his head.
“Your mother just called me,” Ford told them, starting to pace around the room. Dipper and Mabel gave each other a look at the mention of the mother.
“She asked about her two girls?” Dipper inhaled sharply. Of course she would do this.
“Grunkle Ford, I-” Dipper said quietly, almost hoping the dimension-hopper wouldn’t hear him.
He apparently got his unconscious wish. “I thought you two might have an older sibling who had gotten mixed up on the way here. My theory was that she and Dipper were supposed to go to different relatives for the summer, but somehow got mixed up. But if you two don’t have another sister…” He trailed off, still pacing in circles.
Dipper sighed. “We don’t have a sister. But… my mom was talking about me.” He said, chest tightening as he looked at his great uncle.
“What?” Ford asked, pausing his pacing.
“Um. I’m transgender.” Dipper said, words getting stuck in his throat as he stared down at the bedding.
I see.” Ford said, before leaving the room awkwardly.
The twins looked at each other.
“Why did he just leave like that?” Mabel said in a hushed voice, in case Ford might still be listening.
“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s transphobic, but he’s from the eighties! Who knows what he thinks.”
“I really hope he’s not.”
“Me neither. I don’t want a repeat of what happened at home.”
“Hey.” Mabel walked over to his bed, hugging her brother. “If he has a problem with any of this, I’ll protect you. And Grunkle Stan will too. He’ll talk some sense into him.”
“I hope so.” Dipper said, leaning into his sister.
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Ford walked away from the twins’ room, pretending not to be confused. Apparently they didn’t have another sibling, and Dipper was transbender or something of the sort? He didn’t understand how that was relevant, but it must have been.
Just then, he heard his brother slam the door of the house shut.
“I’m back, nerds!” He shouted, and Ford walked down the stairs towards him. When Ford found him, he was taking groceries out of a shopping bag, and placing them on the counter.
“Hey Pointdexer. You’ve finally come out of your vampire cave?”
“Vampire caves are actually-” Ford started, before getting interrupted.
“Yeah, yeah. Anyways, whatcha want?”
“Who says I want anything?” Ford asked him.
“You’ve got that look on your face that means you’ve found a problem you can’t find the answer for. Tell me what it is.” Stan said, leaning against the kitchen counter. Ford was still astounded by how accurately his brother was able to read him, even after how much they both had changed.
“Well.” Ford started, slightly sheepish at being called out. “There was a phone call from Mabel and Dipper’s mother.”
Stan groaned. “Ugh. Alexa. Never liked her. Kyle always had horrible taste in chicks.” He grumbled. Ford tilted his head at his brother’s apparent dislike of their nephew’s wife, not sure what caused it.
He cleared his throat. “She called the house, and since you were out, and the kids were upstairs, I elected to answer it.”
Stan waved his hand, gesturing for him to continue.
“And she was very… loquacious.” Ford finished awkwardly.
“Shorter words, smartass.” Stan remarked.
“She was talkative.” Ford said bluntly, to which Stan nodded. “And when she called, she asked how her two girls were doing?”
Stan groaned. “Of course she would do that. I knew Dipper wasn’t telling me the whole story.” He muttered.
“What does that mean? I asked the children, and they told me they don’t have any siblings.”
Stan sighed. “Dipper’s trans, pointdexter.” He said bluntly, glaring at Ford as though daring him to say something about that.
“Yes, that’s what he told me. But what does that mean? And what does it have to do with anything?” Ford asked, getting more bewildered by the second.
Stan stared at him, an odd expression on his face. His eyes went wide as something akin to realization dawned on his face. “Oh.”
“What? What does that mean? Oh?” Ford questioned him, perplexed.
“Alright, pull up a chair. I’m gonna tell you about the queer rights movement.” Stan told him, sitting down at the kitchen table. Ford did as instructed, sitting down with his hands folded.
“So, remember how back at Glass Shard Beach there was this one kid who kept getting called, and I wish I didn’t have to repeat it, a ‘dirty queer’?” Stan asked.
“Yes, I remember him. Benjamin, correct?”
“Yeah, that was his name. He got teased because he liked boys instead of girls.” Stan told his brother.
“I’m not sure I follow.”
“You know how a lot of dudes in our class were always dating girls?”
“Yes.”
“He wanted to date other boys instead of girls.”
“People can… do that?”
“Yes. They can. And I swear, if you’re an ass about it-”
“I won’t be! I’m simply trying to understand.” Ford quickly said.
“Fine. So that kid was gay.” Stan told him.
“I couldn’t imagine he was very happy about the bullying.”
Stan rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, Ford. Not gay as in happy, gay as in homosexual.”
“Oh!”
“And it’s not a bad thing. They’re not horrible people like Pa told us, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Remember that whole thing about Stonewall?”
“I believe so. That happened around the time I enrolled in Backupsmore.”
“Yeah. That was queer people fighting for their rights.”
“I don’t understand how this is relevant to-”
“Shut your mouth and listen. Okay, so. Gay dudes aren’t the only queer people. There’s also lesbians, who are girls who want to date girls.”
“Okay…”
“And bisexuals, who are people who want to date both.”
“I see.”
“And trans people.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means that they’re people who were born as girls, who feel like boys. Or people who were born as boys, who feel like girls.”
“They can simply ‘feel’ like something they’re born as?”
“Yes. And they’re valid. If someone tells you they’re a girl, they’re a girl, no matter how they look. And vice versa.”
“And that’s what Dipper is?”
“Yeah. He was born as a girl, but he’s a boy.”
“Okay. So why did his mother call him a girl?”
“Because she’s a bigoted piece of-”
“Language.”
“Because she’s a bigot. She doesn’t accept Dipper, and she thinks it’s just a phase.”
“So that’s what she was talking about when she mentioned a phase? I had assumed they had an emo or goth older sibling.”
Stan laughed. “Ha! Nope.”
“I see. How would one be able to tell if they’re ‘queer’? Is it just something one knows?”
“No, actually. A bunch of people don’t know. And even if they do, they can’t come out because people wouldn’t support them.”
“Come out?”
“Telling someone they’re queer.”
“I see. How would you know someone is queer?”
“You can’t unless they tell you. Don’t assume someone is or isn’t, got it?”
“Alright. So if I’m getting this right, Gay people are men who are attracted to men, and lesbians are women who are attracted to women.”
“Yup.”
“And bisexuals can be either men or women, and they’re attracted to both.”
“Yup. Though the ‘girl and boy’ thing is a bit more complicated.”
“How so?”
“Well, some people are nonbinary. That means they’re not girls or boys.”
“I see. I’ve been on many planets with more genders than male and female, but I hadn’t realized ours was one as well.”
“Yup.”
“And Dipper is trans, which means he’s a boy, even though he wasn’t born as one.”
“That’s right. Keep calling him a boy and treating him like before, got it?”
“Of course. What do I tell their mother, though?”
“Just tell ‘er her kids are doing great. If you have to, call Dipper a girl. But only if you think it’s necessary, got it?”
“Of course. Is Dipper the only queer person in our family?”
“Well. I can’t speak for the others, but I’m bi.”
“That’s interesting. Could I-”
“No, you can’t interview me. Read about it on the internet or something.”
Ford stuck his tongue out at his brother.
“Yeah, yeah. Here, let me show you some of the flags.” Stan said, pulling out his phone. Ford stood up, walking around the table to his brother.
“So this is the original pride flag.”
“I see.”
“And this one’s the progress pride flag.”
“How are they different?”
“Well...
========================================================================
Dipper and Mabel heard a knock on their door once again. Mabel hopped up from where she was sitting with her brother, and opened it to find an awkward looking Stanford.
“Hello. Um. Stanley has explained to me what trans means.” He said, looking across the room at his great nephew.
“Oh. Okay.” Dipper mumbled, looking up at Ford nervously.
Ford crossed the room to get to Dipper. “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, my boy. I’ve been away from this dimension for a long time, and I didn’t understand the newer terms.”
“That’s okay. So, um, are you…” Dipper trailed off, looking back at his hands, which he was fiddling with, picking at the skin around his nails.
“I support you, Dipper. I must admit I don’t quite understand it, but not knowing something is the first step on the journey to learning about it.” Ford said, giving a reassuring smile.
Dipper hugged Ford, standing on the bed to reach him. Ford startled, before wrapping his arms around the boy. Mabel squealed, running over to them. She jumped up onto Ford, grabbing him for a hug.
“Hug pile!” She exclaimed excitedly. Dipper giggled, before suddenly pulling Ford down.
“Ah!” Ford was caught off guard, his surprise allowing Dipper to pull him down, and Mabel to climb onto him. Dipper soon followed, climbing up onto his shoulders as he struggled to regain his bearings.
“We’ve conquered the Grunkle!” Mabel proudly exclaimed. “That way!” She said, pointing towards the door, still clinging onto his sweater.
Ford sighed with amusement, walking towards the door. He was careful not to make the kids fall off, but that was unlikely, given their iron hold on him. The two children instructed him down the stairs, and to the kitchen, at which Stan nearly choked on his soda laughing.
Dipper and Mabel hopped off him, hugging Stan as well, still laughing.
“Gah!” Stan shouted as he was tackled. He pushed them off gently. “Alright, kiddos. Your grunkles are old men, ya hear me?”
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Next year, when the younger set of twins came to visit once again, their great uncles met them at the bus stop with a surprise.
The older twins insisted they wear blindfolds, telling them that it “would ruin the surprise if ya got warning,”(Stan) and that “your happiness will be maximized if you can’t view it beforehand.”(Ford)
Dipper and Mabel felt themselves being led through the woods and up the hills, into the Mystery Shack. They stopped in the giftshop, before Stan and Ford pulled their blindfolds off.
The twins gasped in stereo at the colorfully decorated room. It was filled with rainbows, and pride flags of all sorts. There were also all the employees of the shack, with a giant banner reading “Welcome home, Dipper and Mabel!” In giant rainbow lettering.
“Woah! It’s so pretty!” Mabel exclaimed, running around the room.
“Yup. Be grateful I did this. I still remember the rainbow incident.” Stan told them, smiling. Mabel giggled from across the room.
“I have no regrets!”
“Yeah, I know you don’t, pumpkin.” Stan rolled his eyes.
Dipper reached into a bucket of pride pins, pulling out the trans and demisexual ones before beaming.
“Since it is June, and we wanted to celebrate your arrival, we decided to have a Pride party.” Ford told his great nephew, who hugged him.
“Thanks, Grunkle Ford. This is the best.”
Ford patted his back.
The doorbell rang, and Ford pulled away. “Ah! That must be the guest I invited.” He walked over to open the door, crossing the floor littered with sparkle glitter.
Mabel gasped as he opened it. “Mr. McGucket?!”
Ford cleared his throat. “I wanted to tell you kids something.”
“What is it, Grunkle Ford?” Mabel asked, racing over to him with barely contained excitement, with Dipper close at her heels.
“Well, I’m… Darn, I practiced this.”
“Ford and I are dating.” Fiddleford interrupted him.
Mabel gasped, her eyes somehow lighting up more than they already had. She let out an ear splitting squeal, leaping to hug Ford.
Ford laughed, hugging Mabel back. “Yes, we are.”
“I have so many questions!” Mabel exclaimed. “When did you two realize you liked each other? When did you start dating? Can I plan the wedding?!”
“There’s no wedding yet, sweetie. We’ve only been together for about a month.” Fiddleford told her, eyes gleaming with amusement.
Mabel screamed again, flapping her hands with elation.
“Jeez, calm down, Mabel!” Dipper exclaimed, covering his ears.
“How can you be so calm?!” She shouted, shaking him by the shoulders.
“Mabel- stop-”
“Okay, let go of your brother, sweetie.” Stan told her, prying Dipper away. He wobbled a bit, dizzy from the shaking.
Mabel ran off into the party, tackling her friends in greeting. They were all thrilled to see her, but Dipper noticed that Pacifica specifically turned beet-red when Mabel hugged her. He smirked, already thinking about the blackmail he could have.
"Dipper!" Ford called him over.
"Yeah, Grunkle Ford?" Dipper asked, walking over to him.
"While you two were gone, Stanley explained to me the concept of 'HRT'. I've been messing around with some chemistry equations. I believe I've figured out how to make a better version of the kind currently on the market."
"Oh, really? That's so cool!" Dipper exclaimed.
"I'm glad you think so. I just wanted to let you know in case you wanted to use it at some point in the future."
Dipper hugged him. "Thanks."
"It's no problem, my boy." Ford said, hugging him back.