Chapter Text
“You better hurry up, Princess, we’re going to be late!” A teasing voice called from the hallway. Clarke hated that nickname with a passion.
Clarke practically ran down the hallway to the front door of her apartment carrying an old, brown leather briefcase. “Why the hell do you insist on calling me that, Finn?” She tried her best to look agitated. “I’m not a damn princess.”
The floppy-haired boy leaned down and pressed as soft kiss to Clarke’s lips before pulling away and adjusting the backpack strap on his shoulder. “You’re MY princess.” He smiled and added a wink for good measure.
Clarke can only roll her eyes.
“Come on then. That plane isn’t going to wait for us, Clarke.” Finn says firmly.
Finn begins to make his way down the hallway of the apartment building and as Clarke grabs the doorknob, she turns back around to take on last glance over her home. Her old home now.
She is moving back to her hometown of Dallas, Texas. She hasn’t been back in five years. It was going to be strange being back there and being around familiar faces that she hasn’t seen in ages.
She left Dallas to pursue her dream of becoming an artist. Los Angeles has been her home now for the last five years. It’s where she became known for her paintings. It’s where her new friends are. It’s where she met Finn.
Finn was coming back to Dallas with her for a couple of weeks to help her get settled in, even though she has told him multiple times that she doesn’t need supervision.
Truth is, she’s a little bit terrified to be heading back there. That places holds so many amazing memories, but it also holds quiet a few bad ones as well.
She feels water forming in her eyes before she turns on her heels and closes the door, catching up to Finn at the end of the hall.
“You ready?” He asks.
“As I’ll ever be.”
A couple of hours have passed, and Finn is fast asleep on the plane. Clarke is far from being able to sleep. She hates flying. The height is one thing, but the turbulence and claustrophobic nature of planes terrifies her.
Clarke laid her head against the back of her seat, closing her eyes trying to keep all of those painful memories at bay. The thought of going back home has been exciting, but it’s also been painful. Her mind is flooded constantly with agonizing past.
She is glad that she doesn’t have to go back to her childhood house. She can’t go back without thinking of her father constantly. Her father, Jake, had passed away suddenly of a heart attack when she was twenty-two, just before her college graduation. Clarke’s father was her best friend. He could make her laugh anytime, he always gave her the best advice, and he never ever judged her. Unlike her mother.
Clarke and her mother, Abby, don’t have a very good relationship at all. They don’t hate each other; they just can barely be around each other without getting into some form of argument. Clarke feels as if they’ve both come to some form of conscious agreement to stay away and just chat on the phone every few weeks.
Abby never really agreed with Clarke’s lifestyle. And by lifestyle, she means she didn’t like the fact that Clarke like girls. Even though Clarke had only ever dated one woman in her life.
That was the other source of painful memories of going back to Dallas.
Lexa.
Clarke met Lexa in the tenth grade. Lexa transferred into Clarke’s high school as an eleventh grader and they became the best of friends. There was nothing romantic about their relationship. At first.
Lexa graduated a year before Clarke and headed off to college. It was only about an hour away, so they still got to hang out with each other very often. They shared mutual friends in Raven and Octavia. The four of them were always attached at the hip. Raven had graduated with Lexa, and Octavia had graduated with Clarke.
When Clarke and Octavia graduated, the joined Lexa and Raven in college. About half a semester in, Clarke and Lexa’s feelings for each other started to blossom into something more than platonic. And when those feelings became romantic, it came like a bolt of lightning. Out of nowhere and extremely powerful and electric.
They were perfect for each other.
Clarke was eighteen and Lexa was nineteen. They dated for almost four years before Lexa decided that she wanted to join the Army.
Clarke was very supportive of Lexa’s decision, but before Lexa left for training, she broke up with Clarke.
The blonde was heartbroken. Devastated. She felt like her heart had shattered into a million pieces and those pieces had settled into the pit of her stomach. She didn’t get much of an explanation, other than Lexa saying that she wanted Clarke to pursue her dream of becoming an artist and not waste her time worrying about Lexa.
They both had cried for hours with each other before Lexa left for North Carolina.
Clarke hasn’t seen her since.
It’s been five years, and Clarke still thinks about Lexa from time to time. She thinks about the way that she made her feel. She thinks about the way that Lexa had always looked at her. Like she was the most valuable thing on this earth. Clarke thinks about how goofy they would act together and tease each other constantly. She tries to push the thoughts, of Lexa’s lips on hers and Lexa’s hands on her body, away.
Clarke knows that she shouldn’t still think about these things after all of these years, especially now that she has Finn, but what she and Lexa had was electric. It was a once in a lifetime kind of love, and she didn’t know if she would ever truly get over her. She wanted to. That’s a definite. Lexa hurt her more than anyone else has ever hurt her in her life. Clarke was blindsided and she hated Lexa for that.
She honestly did not want to run into Lexa, and she was going to try her best not to.
Clarke and Finn had finally landed in Dallas. They were walking through the terminal and Clarke spotted two familiar faces with a huge grins growing on both of them.
“Griffin!” Raven yelled.
“She’s back, bitches!” Octavia yelled, and it Clarke could feel her cheeks beginning to blush. She’s back on Texas soil for not even a minute and both of her best friends had already started to embarrass her.
The three friends brought each other in for a giant hug. It had been several months since they had seen each other. Raven and Octavia were very adamant about visiting Clarke in L.A. very often. They were great friends.
“How was the flight, guys?” Raven asked, flicking her eyes between Clarke and Finn.
“Way too long. That’s for sure.” Clarke groaned.
“It was fine.” Finn said. “Of course, Clarke complained the whole time.” He teased.
“I did not!” Clarke rebutted.
Her boyfriend rolled his eyes, “Okay, Princess. Whatever you say.”
Raven started leading her friends outside to her Jeep that was waiting for them right in front of the door.
“Raven, you know you’re parked in a fire lane, right?” Clarke asked and then looked over to Octavia who just shrugged.
“Yeah. So?” Raven said, nonchalantly.
Clarke just rolled her eyes and she and Finn threw their luggage into the back of Raven’s Jeep.
“How did you not get towed?” Finn asked as they started to drive away.
“I’m just good like that.” Raven smiled.
Everyone in the vehicle rolled their eyes that time, before Octavia chimed in.
“So, Ray and I checked out your new apartment. All of your things have already been moved in.” The brunette hands her a key. “Here’s your key. If you ever need another copy, just ask the landlord.”
“Thank you guys so much.” Clarke said with a smile. “You’re the best.”
Octavia works for a large real estate firm in Dallas, and she was damn good at her job. She helped Clarke get set up in the apartment that they were now headed to.
Raven is the youngest engineering professor at a private college in Irving right outside of Dallas. She had been an actual engineer before she had her car accident a few years back, which left her crippled in one leg. It had almost destroyed her, but Raven is a fighter and she fought back. She’s still not able to what she once could, but she settled in to teaching, and she actually likes it.
She is so proud of her friends.
“Welcome to your humble abode.” Octavia says with some form of Vanna White gesture to the door of Clarke’s new apartment. Clarke and Raven let out light chuckles and Finn just stands there with a small smirk on his face.
“Why thank you, madam.” Clarke says with a British accent before walking into her new home.
The space was perfect. It had the loft-type feel to it. Very open and spacious with a couple of brick walls, while the others were painted a flat white. She had let Raven and Octavia be in charge of picking out her new furniture from here in Dallas. She trusted them to pick out the best stuff, and they had.
Everything was perfect.
“It’s looks amazing guys!” Clarke exclaims. “Doesn’t it, babe?” She looked up to Finn.
He leaned down to give her a light kiss before saying, “Sure does, Princess.”
Clarke once again rolled her eyes. She had to stop doing that. Her eyes were bound to get stuck up inside her head one of these days.
“Well,” Raven said. “We will let you too get unpacked and settled in. I’ve got a long day ahead of me tomorrow, as does O I’m sure.”
Octavia nods. “Yeah. What she said.”
Clarke gave both of her friends tight hugs before they left.
“We will see you Wednesday at the gallery, right?” Raven asked.
“Duh, Raven.” Clarke smiled. “It’s my gallery, and the grand opening. Of course I will be there.”
“Oh yeah. Right.” Raven said before walking out the door.
Finn began walking back towards the back of the apartment where he assumed that the bedroom was. “I’m going to check out the bed. I’m beat.”
“Alright. I’m just going to look around.” Clarke said. “If you’re going to take a nap, I may run down and check out the gallery set up. They should have my paintings there already.”
“Alright, babe.” Finn called back. “Be careful.”
Clarke could not wait for her gallery opening on Wednesday. Just two more days and she would get to see more of her old friends; Monty, Jasper, Harper, Maya, Miller, and Zoe had all already RSVP’d.
She grabbed her purse before heading out the door and walking the short distance down to her gallery.
When Clarke arrived at the building that housed her gallery, she took in the site from the outside. The sign hanging above the door was made out of modernized steel and read ‘C.J. Griffin’. That was the name that she chose to place on her work several years back. She was trying to attain some level of anonymity. She couldn’t help the smile that came across her face. She was so proud of herself and how far that she had come.
She had moved out to L.A. about six months after her father died, when she was twenty-two. She wanted to make a name for herself in the art industry, and she did. She didn’t have her own gallery out in California, but she generated a lot of buzz for her work around setting up pop-up galleries. Clarke had made a few friends pretty quickly when she moved out there, and they helped her as much as possible.
Clarke had been afraid that after her father’s death and Lexa leaving her that she wouldn’t be able to paint again. Her art wasn’t entirely the same as before; it was just a bit darker.
Clarke grabbed the set of keys out of the inside of her purse and unlocked the shiny red door. Inside, the walls were covered with brick, clearly original to the building. Her art was scattered throughout the open room. There was no sequence to their hanging, just the way that Clarke liked it.
She walked around the room, taking in every piece of her work and smiling at each. It would be hard to see some of them go. She had become quite fond of a few of them; although there was a few that she just couldn’t bring herself to sell. Well, more than just a few. She had to rent out an entire storage unit to house them. They were the ones that she wouldn’t let anyone see.
As she finished her tour around the gallery, she saw a woman, about her age, peeking through the front window. Clarke walked towards the front door and waved the woman in. She honestly didn’t know why she was letting a stranger in her unopened gallery, but the woman did look curious. ‘Time to start making new friends’, she thought to herself.
“Hi.” Clarke said. “Please, come in.”
The black-headed girl came in and her face held the biggest grin. “Thank you so much. I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“No. It’s fine.” Clarke replied with a smile. “What can I do for you?”
“Oh nothing really. When I saw the workers hanging up the sign a few weeks back I could not believe that C.J. Griffin was putting in a gallery here of all places.” The woman sounded really excited and it brought yet another smile to Clarke’s face. This one was more genuine. “His work is amazing!” The girl said.
Clarke could only chuckle and say, “Well, I really appreciate that, but he’s a she.”
The woman looked a bit confused and then her eyes grew wider as the realization began to dawn on her. “Wait. You’re C.J. Griffin?”
Clarke nods her head with a grin and then holds out her hand to the other girl.
“Oh my gosh!” The girl exclaimed. “I am so sorry. All of these years I thought you were a guy!” The woman grabbed Clarke’s hand excitedly. “I’m Costia. I’m a huge fan.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Costia.” Clarke says. “But did you say years?”
“Yes. I have been following your work for sometime. Something about your work just speaks to me.”
Clarke was beyond flattered at this point. How did the girl even know of Clarke’s work? Other than L.A. and the Internet, she didn’t think her hometown people would care.
“That means so much. Thank you.” Clarke started in genuinely. “How did you find my work?”
“A close friend of mine lives in Los Angeles. He’s bought several of your pieces I believe. As have I.”
“Really?” Clarke sounded surprised.
“Yes! I am so glad that you decided to set up a shop here. When do you head back to California?” The dark-haired girl asked curiously.
Clarke only smiled and said, “I don’t. I’m originally from here in Dallas. Thought it was time to move back home and give my art a shot out here.”
“That’s awesome! Well, thank you so much for letting a random peeping tom in here.” The girl smiled. “It’s been a pleasure.”
“No problem. Thank you for your support, and tell your friend I said thank you as well.” Clarke said with a grin. She still couldn’t believe that she had already found a person that knew of her and her work.
Just as Costia made her way out of the door, Clarke remembered something and called out for the girl. “Costia!”
The girl stopped and stuck her head back inside the door. “Yes?”
“My grand opening is tomorrow. You should come. It starts at seven.” The blonde said.
Costia’s smile widened even more and shook her head almost to excitedly before replying. “Thank you. That sounds great! See you then, C.J.” She said before walking off.
Clarke laughed at the name. She really should have told the girl her real name, but decided where’s the fun in that?
It was five-thirty on the day of her grand opening and Clarke had been so nervous that she barely spoke the entire day. Finn had had to call in reinforcements early.
“Griffin!” Raven yelled as she and Octavia barged into the gallery where they saw Clarke and Finn sitting on the counter in the back of the room where the drinks were located.
“You’re early.” Clarke said, not that she cared. She was very glad to see her two best friends. She honestly didn’t know if she would have been able to make it through the night without them.
“Yeah, well, we thought that we could do a little pre-gaming.” Octavia grinned.
“This is my gallery opening, O. I’m not getting wasted.” Clarke said with not kind of emotion showing on her face. “I have to come off at least slightly professional.”
“So, I invited some more people.” Octavia said, and the way that she said it scared Clarke to death.
Clarke knew that Raven and Octavia were still just as much best friends with Lexa as they were with Clarke. They made Clarke the promise not to ever mention Lexa to her. Clarke didn’t want to know anything about her. She didn’t care. At least that’s what she told herself.
Obviously Clarke’s eyes had given her away because Raven stepped up to lay a steadying hand on Clarke’s shoulder before saying, “Relax, Clarke. We invited your mom. Not Lex-“
Octavia swatted at Raven’s arm to try and stop her, but it was just a little too late.
“Sorry.” Raven said.
“It’s fine. I’m a big girl. I’m over it.” She said quietly so that Finn couldn’t hear what they were saying. She had never told Finn about Lexa. It never felt comfortable. She didn’t even know what she would say.
She was the love of my life, my best friend, and I don’t think that I will ever find someone that I loved as much as her. That might have scared him off.
“Whatever you say, Griffin.” Raven rolled her eyes. Raven and Octavia hated that they were torn between their two best friends. Clarke knew that and she hated that for them, but she couldn’t bring herself to talk about Lexa, much less be around her. She wondered all of the time if her two best friends talked to Lexa about her or if Lexa had made them vow the same vow that Clarke had made them.
She figured that it was the latter. She doesn’t know why Lexa would care. She’s the one that left her. For no reason.
The four of them sat around the gallery making small talk until the guests started arriving. Most of them were complete strangers, probably just passers by who were curious of the new business in their area. Clarke did see several familiar faces though: Monty, Jasper, Maya, Miller, Harper, and Zoe had all come to support her.
All of the old friends became reacquainted with one another over art and drinks. Clarke had missed this. She loved L.A., but there was something about being home and with the people that she grew up with.
“So,” Jasper said, looking at Octavia. “What’s Lexa been up to? It’s been a while since I’ve seen her.”
Octavia glanced over to Clarke, hoping that she didn’t hear, but she did. Sadness was already growing on the Clarke’s face. Clarke could pretend all she wanted, but she was so not over the breakup. It’s been five years. ‘Something’s gotta give,’ Clarke thinks. She hates Lexa, so why does she always feel like this?
“She’s good.” Octavia begins, hoping to bring an end to the conversation before it really started. “Just keeping busy.”
“She always does. What’s with her? It’s like she never has time for us anymore.” Jasper says with an over exaggerated pout.
“That’s something that you would have to ask her.” Octavia says fairly sternly.
“She still got the bar?” Monty asked. This question caused Clarke to spin her head in their direction. She was trying her hardest to avoid this conversation at all cost, but did Monty just say a bar? Was Lexa not in the military anymore? Raven and Octavia hadn’t mentioned it, but then again, Clarke had asked them not to.
“Yeah.” Raven interjected, trying to take some of the pressure off of Octavia. “She practically lives there.”
“We need to all have a night there one night and surprise her.”
“You know how much she hates surprises.” Clarke spoke, surprising herself in the process. She received two very strange looking glances from her two best friends, before she looked back down at the drink between her hands. “I really need to go mingle with my guests.” She said quietly as she walked off.
“Who’s Lexa?” Finn asked, now curious as to what had caused Clarke to start acting rather weird.
“Oh, she’s Cl – “ Jasper started before Octavia interrupted him.
“She’s a friend of ours from school.”
Finn just nodded and went back to drinking his whiskey and avoiding the rest of their conversations.
“Close call.” Raven murmured to Octavia. “Nice save.” They both glared at Jasper who obviously had no clue what was going on.
Clarke was mingling with her guests when she noticed a familiar face in the crowd. “Costia.” She said, getting the girl’s attention. She spun around to see Clarke and that smile was back in full force.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite artist.” Costia said.
“Thank you for coming.” Clarke smiled.
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t have missed it.” The other girls replied. “Sorry I was late though. I was trying to talk my girlfriend into coming, but she didn’t want to leave work. Plus she’s not that into art.”
Clarke smiled. “It’s fine. I’m glad that you could make it.”
“What’s with this painting?” Costia said as she pointed to a canvas that was off of the walk and leaning against the back door of the gallery.
Clarke took a deep breath before replying. “Oh. That – That was suppose to go to my storage building and not the gallery.”
“May I see?” Costia asked and Clarke only nodded.
“It’s old. Probably around six years.” Clarke said and the memories of when she had painted it slowly began to haunt her.
Costia picked up the canvas gently and spun it around in her hands. Clarke heard a light gasp come from the woman’s throat.
“This is beautiful.” She said. Clarke leaned over to see the painting as if she had never seen it before. The painting was of a pair of eyes. Green eyes. Her eyes. Eyes that have seemed to haunt her for too long now. “I love me some green eyes.” Costia laughed.
All that Clarke could respond was, “Hmm…”
“Whom do they belong to?” Costia asked curiously.
Clarke was suddenly very interested in her feet, but decided to answer Costia the best that she could. “No one in particular. I just began painting them one day.”
“Hmm…would you be interested in selling?” Costia asked nicely.
“No.” Clarke replied a little too quickly and it might have even come off a bit harsh. “I’m sorry. It’s just – it’s one of my favorites. I don’t think that I could ever get rid of it.” That was the truth.
“Fair enough.” Costia smiled before sitting the piece back down. “Well, I better get out of here. My girlfriend should be getting off work right about now. It was good to see you again, C.J.”
Clarke smiled. She had to make herself do that. Not that she didn’t like Costia, but she was suddenly feeling very emotional after looking into those green eyes again, even if they weren’t the real thing.
“How about I give you my number just in case you decide to sell that piece?” Costia said politely.
Clarke laughed and grabbed Costia’s phone and entered her number. “Call me and we will get coffee sometime. It’s good to have met a new friend.” Clarke said as she hand Costia’s phone back to her.
“Will do.” The girl said with a smile before leaving the gallery.
Meanwhile, while Clarke was talking with Costia, Raven and Octavia were in panic mode across the gallery.
“Why the hell is Clarke talking to Costia? Why the hell is Costia even here?” Raven said frantically.
“I honestly have no clue, Ray.” Octavia replied as she paced back in forth, occasionally glancing over towards Clarke and the black-headed girl.
“Are they friends? Clarke is acting like she knows her.” Raven rambled once again.
“Raven. I need you to chill. I’m sure there is some sort of explanation to this.” Octavia said.
“Costia’s cool and all, but why would Clarke befriend Lexa’s girlfriend, O?”
“She probably doesn’t know. She just got back into town. It’s probably just some sort of coincidence that she knows Costia.”
“Guys!” Monty called out, interrupting their conversation. “Friday night. We are all going to Lexa’s!”
“Her house? Why” Raven asked confused.
“No! Her bar.” Jasper interjected. “It’s about time all of us went out together. We will surprise Lexa and make her hang with us. She can’t say no to all of us.”
“You actually believe that?” Raven questioned with a raised eyebrow.
“Let’s just do it.” Monty said, and Raven and Octavia nodded in agreement.
“Alright. We will see you guys, then. Tell Clarke that we said ‘goodbye’.” Monty said softly.
“And bring her with you Friday!” Jasper yelled as they walked through the front door.
Raven and Octavia look at each other, both knowing what the other was thinking.
“No way, Raven.” Octavia said, breaking the silence that had grown between them.
“Oh come on, O. I am so sick of having to split my time between two of my best friends. They need to just see each other and talk to each other. Maybe they can reach some sort of mutual agreement to at least be on neutral ground and not hate each other.” Raven said.
“I think that is the exact opposite of what they think about each other. You know that they still love each other. Obviously Clarke is still in love or she wouldn’t act like this all of the time.” She waved her arm in Clarke’s direction who was sitting at a table by herself, drinking her champagne.
“Yeah. She’s clearly miserable with old that old Finnhead over there.” Raven said with a smile as she looked toward Finn who was flirting with one of the cater waiters.
Octavia laughed at Raven’s nickname for him. “Okay. So we will drag Clarke with use Friday.”
Raven asks, “How are we going to do that? You know she won’t go anywhere near Lexa.”
“She won’t know.” Octavia said with a devilish grin.
There’s no way that this plan could blow up in their face. Right?
Clarke wakes up early on Friday morning, and not by her own accord. She hears a loud banging coming from the front of her apartment. Luckily, Finn doesn’t hear it. He’s such a grumpy morning person, especially if you wake him up.
She stands, and grabs some shorts out of the dresser beside her bed. She slides them up her legs and then slips on her house shoes. She had found the concrete floors in her apartment to be very chilly, especially in the mornings.
The banging is even louder now and she quickens her pace towards the front door. When she swings the door open, Raven is standing there with a huge grin on her face. “Mornin’, Sunshine.”
Clarke lets out a loud groan before turning back towards the kitchen, leaving the door open for Raven to come inside. “Why are you here?”
“That’s no way to greet your best friend.” Raven said matter of factly.
“Yeah, yeah.” Clarke murmured as she placed a K-Cup in her Keurig machine and leaned over onto the counter.
“I forgot how grumpy you are in the mornings.” Raven said.
“I’m not usually grumpy. It’s – “ Clarke looks over to the clock on the wall above the stove. “It’s 7:00AM, Raven. What gives?”
“Nothing.” Her friend shrugged. “Just wanted to see what you had planned for tonight.”
“You came to my house to wake up at seven in the morning just so that you could ask me what my plans are for tonight?” Clarke groaned.
“Well, yeah.”
Clarke rolled her eyes before grabbing her coffee mug from the machine and going to sit on the couch in the living room. Raven was right on her heels.
Obviously, Clarke wasn’t planning on speaking, so Raven spoke up again. “O and I are meeting Monty, Jasper, and Maya for drinks tonight. You should come.”
Clarke sipped on her coffee for another minute or so before responding. “Sure. I don’t have anything better to do. What time should Finn and I meet you?”
“Ugh. Does Finn have to come?” Raven grumbled.
The look that Clarke gave Raven only made the brown-headed girl laugh.
“He’s my boyfriend, Raven and he flew out her to be with me for a couple of weeks to get settled in. I’m not leaving him here alone on a Friday night.” Clarke said.
“How long have you two been dating again?” Raven asked.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Clarke responded. “About 8 months.”
“Hmm…”
“Why?”
“No reason.” Raven said as she grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and cuddled up underneath it, laying her head on Clarke’s shoulder. “Do you love him?”
“Raven.” Clarke warned. “Please, don’t.”
Raven let out a small sigh before continuing. “Clarke, this may be over-stepping by boundaries as a friend, but you’re not happy. You don’t seem happy at all.”
“You’re right.” Clarke started. “You’re over-stepping.”
Raven said nothing. Clarke was obviously pissed. She always gets defensive when Raven brings up relationships. At least ever since Lexa. They sat there in silence for what seemed like hours before Clarke finally spoke.
“I’m sorry for being an ass.” Clarke apologized. “It’s just that…I know.”
“You know what?” Raven looked up at Clarke with a raised brow.
“I know that I’m not as happy as I should be, but I have to keep trying. I can’t just give up on every relationship that I start just because it’s not as good as another.” The blonde sighed.
“That’s understandable, but don’t you feel like you’re settling?” Raven bravely asked. “I mean, you are one of the lucky few that’s been able to find their soul mate in this crazy world. This can’t feel anywhere near as right as it did with her.”
There was a long silence before Clarke was able to speak again. Raven’s words cut her deep. She hasn’t talked about feelings or relationships in a long time. Lord knows that Finn doesn’t talk about feelings, but Raven is right. Would Clarke be miserable the rest of her life? There was no way that she could ever find a love like she shared with Lexa, right? This made her hate Lexa even more. It feels like she literally stole Clarke’s heart, and now no one else can have it.
“Raven….” Clarke breathes. “I will never be able to fall in love with anyone ever again. That’s what I feel and it really freaking sucks. I know that nothing will ever compare and that makes me hate her even more.”
“Don’t say that, Clarke.” Raven says sadly. It really breaks her heart to see Clarke like this, and she knows that Lexa goes through the same thing, even though she has Costia. “You don’t hate her. You’re just still pissed, and rightly so. I know that she kind of just up and left you, but she knew that you would follow her, giving up your dreams in the process.”
“Don’t.” Clarke hissed. “Don’t defend her.”
“I’m not defending her, Griffin.” Raven hissed back. “But you have to see where she was coming from. She was leaving. Going to the other side of the country for months and months at a time. She knew how much you wanted to go to L.A. and pursue your art, and she also knew that you would have given that up to be with her.”
“Because I loved her!” Clarke exclaims, almost a little too loudly. She had forgotten that Finn was still in bed.
“And she did that because she loved you. It was both selfless and selfish. There’s no denying that. She should have at least talked with you about it first, but you have to see it through her eyes.”
Once again, silence.
“How long have you been practicing this speech?” Clarke said and Raven swore she saw a hint of a grin.
Raven just shrugs and says, “What can I say? I need to stop being torn between my two best friends.”
“I’m sorry, Ray.” Clarke said softly. “I’m sorry that we stuck you and O in between us.”
“Make it up to me by going to drinks tonight?” Raven smiled.
“I told you that I would, and after this talk, I definitely need a drink.”