Chapter Text
If Collin ever saw that stupid speedrunner again, he was gonna kill him.
He dug through his chest, glowering at the items missing. Everything good– ore, food, blocks– had been cleared out. He'd even taken the TNT!
Collin shut the chest with a huff.
Something crinkled in his pocket and he paused. He pulled out the report that the entity had given him. The one that had called him a bitch.
He tossed that in the chest too.
Suddenly there was a shift in the air and Collin jumped as someone started shouting outside the house. He flung open the door and stopped stock still.
The entity– Assimilation, right?– was barely managing to hold on to a writhing Andre, trying to shout over the rain and failing miserably. Andre was fighting tooth-and-nail and did not seem keen on listening to a word Assimilation had to say.
"Andre please– Andre you have to listen to me– Stop, Andre–"
"What the–" Collin began, but Assimilation locked onto him and cut him off.
"Collin!" It said sharply. It caught Andre's wrist as he swung at it.
"What are you doing here?"
"The admins– Andre wait!" Assimilation snapped, grabbing Andre's arms and pinning them to his body. Andre's eyes were glowing, and they glared daggers at Assimilation. "This- this will save time, Andre!"
Andre didn't exactly stop struggling, but his efforts diminished slightly.
Assimilation did not let him go, and instead turned to Collin again. "The admins are here, Collin."
the rain stuttered.
"They teleported us to the End dimension, Collin. They are after us, Collin. We cannot let Andre finish a speedrun, Collin, we cannot go back–"
"Okay okay okay." Collin held his head for a moment. He gestured to the house. "Get inside."
Assimilation dragged Andre into the house, pointedly ignoring how Andre had gone limp in protest.
Collin hurried down the ladder, and mined away a crevice in the floor. He prayed the admins didn't have x-ray vision or anything stupid like that.
He turned to Assimilation. "Get in there, and don't make a sound."
Assimilation tossed Andre into the hole unceremoniously, and followed. It paused, looking back at Collin. "What will you do, Collin?" it asked. "They are dangerous, Collin."
Collin rolled his eyes. "They can't hurt me, trust me."
Assimilation looked confused, but nodded in acceptance.
Collin closed up the hole and climbed up the ladder just in time to see a pair of pale figures floating outside his window.
He scowled, pulled his hat down, and walked outside.
"Hey!" he shouted over the rain. The two figures were already looking at him, but in a blink were suddenly close enough for Collin to see the black shapes embossed on their helmets.
A square and a cross.
"What do you think you're doing?" He shouted again.
They tilted their heads at him, eerily in sync.
"Hello Collin," the Square said. Its voice was smooth and inquisitive, as though they were two acquaintances having a polite conversation.
Collin shivered.
"We are looking for a pair of rogue AI. I believe they've paid you a visit?"
Rogue AI? That was… new information. Collin quickly stored it away for later and scoffed. "They did more than that. They practically robbed me blind!"
The Cross spoke up. "Do you know where they are right now?"
Careful, Collin.
"Why would I know that? They left!"
The Square tilted its head. "Oh?"
"Yeah, the entity said something about meeting the speedrunner at the iron doors and they, again, left." Collin gestured in the general direction of the doors, before turning back to the admins. "Now get out."
They stared at him. Collin most definitely did not hold his breath.
"Sorry?" The Square said.
Collin let his frustration bleed into his voice. "I'm tired of being barged in on and stolen from. So leave. Piss off."
The Cross made a sudden movement, but the Square put an arm across its chest. "Farewell, Collin."
They vanished in a flash of white and a loud drone that made Collin's ears ring. When it cleared, the sky was empty and Collin was left with the rain.
_._._
Collin waited. There wasn't a way to be absolutely sure that the admins were gone, so he decided to give it some time. He felt slightly bad about leaving Andre and Assimilation in the hole, but only slightly. They'd be fine.
He heard a scuffle and decided to be nice.
He mined away the stone and winced internally. "They're gone, I think."
Assimilation was scrunched up in a way that looked painful, still grasping one of Andre's wrists. Andre looked positively murderous. Assimilation released him and he towered up and pushed past Collin with the air of someone who hadn't seen the sky in years.
Assimilation poked its head up more cautiously. "Are you certain, Collin?"
"Not really," Collin said. "But you can't stay down there forever."
Assimilation hummed, and emerged from the hole.
When they got up top, Andre was missing.
Collin facepalmed. "Is he like this all the–"
Assimilation vanished and the air warped as he reappeared with Andre in tow. Andre dropped the handful of sticks he'd been carrying and once again tried to make a bid for freedom.
Assimilation pulled him back, its eye widening in concern. "Andre– Andre you cannot speedrun right now, were you even listening Andre?"
Andre made a sound– the first sound Collin had ever heard him make. Like someone trying to yell in frustration, but it came out cloaked in static.
Collin watched, tilting his head. What was so important about a speedrun? Why was Andre so desperate to continue? He raised his eyebrows as a thought occured to him. AI, huh?
Assimilation's voice was distorting too. "Andre you have to listen to me, Andre. The admins are looking for us Andre. We have to hide Andre." Assimilation gave Andre a little shake in desperation. "When they stop looking for us, then you can finish a speedrun, Andre. It-it will be quicker that way, they won't be interupting you, Andre!"
All of the fight suddenly seemed to drain out of Andre, and he stared up at Assimilation unblinkingly.
"Do– do you understand, Andre?" Assimilation asked quietly.
Collin watched as the gears shifted behind Andre's eyes. Their glow finally dimmed and he nodded stiffly.
Assimilation relaxed, slowly letting go of Andre. When Andre didn't immediately make a bolt for the door, it turned to Collin.
"Um," it began.
Collin crossed his arms. "Alright, now I want some answers. What exactly is going on?"
Assimilation curled into itself. "Ah, yes, my apologies Collin. For the intrusion. I did not know where else to go, Collin."
Collin waved a hand. "Not that– AI? Admins? What did they want with you?"
"I'm afraid I don't know, Collin. Along with the report on you, I also found logs– logs about Andre and I. We are–" Assimilation paused, collecting its thoughts. "–artifical intelligences designed to run simulations, Collin. For the admins, Collin."
There was a bump.
Andre seemed to have tripped over his own feet. He stared wide-eyed at Assimilation, his antenna trembling ever so slightly.
"That's what I was trying to tell you back at the facility, Andre," Assimilation said solemnly. "Our existence is a lie, Andre."
Andre genuinely looked like he was buffering– which, now that Collin thought about it, was probably exactly what he was doing.
"No."
Collin jumped a little as Andre spoke.
"No," he said again. His voice was flat, and slightly muffled by the mask over his face. It sounded modulated. He stepped back until he bumped into the chest by the door.
"I-I am sorry, Andre." Assimilation fidgeted with its hands. "I do not understand either."
Andre stared out the window, silent again.
Collin cleared his throat. "So, he's–"
"–supposed to speedrun Minecraft," Assimilation finished. "As far as I can tell, Collin. But there was a note in one of the logs that said that Andre would deactivate if he finished a speedrun, Collin."
Andre's head lowered.
"–So you understand why I could not let that happen, Collin."
Collin sighed. "Yeah, okay. What will you guys do?"
Assimilation made a sound like a cough. "Ah. Yes. I'm… afraid I have not thought that far ahead, Collin."
Collin looked at Assimilation fidgeting and Andre staring into the distance and realized he was going to hate himself for the decision he was about to make.
He dragged his hands over his face with groan. "Okay," he said finally. "You can stay here for a while if you want."
Assimilation straightened. "Are you sure, Collin?"
"There's got to be some rules first." Ew, he sounded like a strict parent. "This world isn't normal, okay? Weird stuff happens here. There are like a million other entities–" Assimilation blinked at that. "– and pretty much all of them are trying to kill me or eat me. So if I tell you to run or hide or whatever, like I did with the admins, you have to listen okay?"
Assimilation nodded solemnly. "We understand Collin. We will do as you say." There was a pause, and then it reached over and gave Andre a nudge.
Andre startled, before reluctantly nodding as well.
"Good." Collin approached Andre and extended a hand. "You can start by giving my stuff back."
Andre's eyes widened.
"Oh. That is true, Andre, you did steal his stuff Andre," Assimilation said helpfully.
Andre looked betrayed. Finally, he scowled at Collin and dug into his inventory.
Items fell in a heap at Collin's feet and he picked them over. He raised an eyebrow. "I know there was more."
Andre moved his head in way that made Collin think that he was sticking out his tongue behind the mask. How mature. Collin stuck out his tongue back at him and snatched up the TNT and diamonds as Andre dropped them.
He looked them over, and then tucked them away. He nodded begrudgingly. "Thank you. Don't do that again."
Andre blinked at him and turned away. Seemingly displeased with the contents of his inventory, he ran out the door.
Assimilation caught Collin's eye. "I will make sure he doesn't get into trouble, Collin."
Collin shrugged helplessly. Assimilation warped away and Collin was left alone in the middle of his house. He ran a hand down his face.
It was going to be a long night.