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It was a hot mid-July day. The kind that made most people want to find a cool spot to hide as the sun blazed down from the clear blue sky. Yet, Charles felt cold. This in itself was impossible because ever since Charles had died, he was unaffected by the temperature around him. Still, he felt chilled to the bone as he stood on the beach wearing nothing but a pair of red swim trunks, looking at the lake in front of him. There was nothing particularly special about the lake, but his body remembered being thrown into the freezing lake at St. Hilarion's after his friends had beaten him for daring to stand up to them. His official cause of death had been due to hypothermia and internal bleeding. Something his mind remembered even thirty years later, causing a violent shiver to go through his body as he tried to take a step forward.
"We don't have to do this," Edwin told him softly as he stood patiently beside Charles in his own blue swim outfit, waiting for him to decide what he wanted to do.
"I know," Charles whispered, gripping Edwin's hand tightly in his own. He knew that Edwin would never judge him if he decided to turn and go back to the safety of the blanket that the girls relaxed on. Just like they didn't judge him for the scars that lined his back, accepting that those scars were a part of him that he didn't have to hide under a singlet. They loved him for his flaws and for his anger, so if he went back to the blanket, they would just smile and welcome him to join them.
He took a small step forward, but as he did, he could hear the boys behind them. They were coming, and he would soon be forced into the lake regardless of whether or not he was ready. He immediately took a larger step back and then another one, putting distance between himself and the lake.
"I can't do it," he whispered, feeling ashamed as he spoke the words out loud. He had fought demons and gone to Hell to rescue Edwin, but he couldn't bring himself to walk to the edge of the lake.
"Do you want to return to the blanket?" Edwin questioned softly.
"No, I want to go in the fucking lake," Charles snapped, then immediately regretted his tone. It wasn't Edwin's fault that he was unable to do this.
"Do you trust me?" Edwin questioned Charles. Charles looked at him in confusion as he wondered why Edwin was asking him. He trusted Edwin more than anyone else in the universe, and he thought he had proved that many times over the years.
"Of course," Charles answered immediately. Edwin stepped closer to Charles until he was standing close enough that their bodies were touching.
"Put your arms around my neck," Edwin informed him. Charles was confused, but he didn't hesitate to follow Edwin's instructions, wrapping his arms loosely around Edwin's neck. Edwin's own arm went around Charles's waist, trying to pick him up, causing Charles's arms to reflexively tighten around Edwin's neck as he rose up to his tiptoes.
"Edwin," Charles cried out.
"Shh, I've got you. Just wrap your legs around my waist," Edwin told him. Charles hesitated as he wondered for a moment how Edwin was going to hold him up. He knew logically that it wouldn't hurt if they fell, as they were both ghosts and the ground didn't matter. Being incorporeal meant the ground was just as comfortable as a soft bed. Neither affected the other boy, and while they still lounged on the settee out of habit, Charles had also rested comfortably stretched out on top of Edwin's desk just to annoy him.
"I assure you I'm strong enough to hold you," Edwin stated after a moment as he noticed Charles's hesitation.
"Sure, mate," Charles agreed. Feeling slightly silly, he wrapped his legs around Edwin's waist as instructed. One of Edwin's arms immediately moved down to his bottom, wrapping under him to help support him as they stood on the beach.
"I am going to move towards the water now, just tell me when you want me to stop," Edwin informed him. Charles nodded as he tucked his head against Edwin's shoulder, closing his eyes. Edwin began to move slowly, and Charles could hear the sound of the water lapping against the shore grow louder as they approached the lake.
We are at the edge. Do you want me to stop or keep going?" Edwin wondered as the water brushed against his feet.
"Keep going," Charles responded after a long moment. His voice was barely above a whisper, and Edwin doubted he could have even heard it if not for the fact that Charles's mouth was next to his ear. Edwin kept walking until his own ankles were in the water. In his arms, Charles was shivering violently, making it hard to hold, but he didn't tell Edwin to stop. Edwin moved until the water was high on his legs, nearly reaching Charles's feet before stopping. He stood there just letting the water surround them as he let Charles adjust.
Charles opened one eye and immediately closed it again as a small whimper escaped. The water was completely around them, and he wouldn't be able to get back to the shore without getting in it. Charles felt a shudder go through him as he realized how easy it would be for Edwin to dunk him, wetting his curls and exposing his ghost body to the same conditions that caused the hypothermia that killed him.
"You're alright," Edwin cooed softly as he adjusted his grip so that he was able to softly rub Charles's back. "I shan’t hurt you."
It was those words that broke through Charles's fear. They were the same words that Edwin had spoken to him the first night that he met him in the attic. Words that had made him feel safe despite the pain that he was in. Words that now eased his fear as he remembered that he would always be safe in Edwin's arms. He had held Charles to make sure that he was safe, and Charles knew that Edwin would immediately turn back around to head to shore if he asked him to. He forced his eyes open again, taking in the lake stretching out in front of him to where the girls were waiting on the beach for them to return.
"Do you want to go back?" Edwin asked him as Charles remained quiet. He was still slightly shivering, but his eyes remained open as he watched the water.
"Can we stay here for a while?" Charles questioned.
"Of course," Edwin answered. Turning his head, he nuzzled Charles's curls before resting his own head against Charles's.
Charles relaxed into him as they stood in the water together. Stretching his foot out, he dipped his toe in the water. He couldn't feel it, but he could see it disappear beneath the surface. He pulled it back, tightening his legs around Edwin. Today had been a huge step forward, and while he wasn't ready to go into the water, he thought that one day he would be able to. One day, he would be able to submerge himself like he did when he was a child. For now, he just imagined he could feel the sun on his back, as for the first time since arriving at the beach, he didn't feel cold.