Work Text:
⚔️ Foxhole & Fireballs: The Annual Foxes Challenge ⚔️
Session 0 – Roll B*tches
A charity D&D livestream for the Open Court Project 🌈
DM: Jeremy Knox | DM support: Matt Boyd, Jean Moreau & Renee Walker | Sponsored by: SunKissed Hot Sauce, Roll Rebellion, Hatford Co. and Reynolds Beauty Lab (“Look good even when you TPK”)
🎥 [Livestream Transcript – Pre-Game Lobby]
NICKY:
(Nicky takes the camera Laila is holding and holds it too close to his face)
Good evening, citizens of Palmetto! Welcome to the Foxhole Annual Challenge! This year, my beloved Erik was the chosen one, and he said it’s time we picked something with sorcery and flair. Hence, we’re doing D&D, baby! I can’t wait to woo you all.
ALLISON:
Woo all you want, Nicky, but in twenty minutes you’ll be crying over dice rolls.
NICKY:
Allison, sh! You’re cursing my dice before we even start. Side note, our fundraising counter’s already at $4,369, and the game hasn’t started. That’s called charisma, Darling.
(Laila grabs the camera back and pans to Jeremy, in his DM hoodie, beaming)
JEREMY:
Welcome everyone! Tonight, the Foxes face their greatest foe yet: a fully rules-compliant game of Dungeons & Dragons. Every Nat 20 adds $500 to the Palmetto Open Court Project that focuses on inclusive Exy leagues for our LGBTQIA+ community. Every Nat 1… means one teaspoon of my hottest SunKissed sauce.
KEVIN: Jeremy, please. My mouth has been through enough.
JEAN: Has it?
KEVIN: Why are you like this?
(Jean has a small smile on his face, setting up the SunKissed sauce display)
JEREMY:
That’s content. Now roll for initiative! socially, I mean ah... We’re doing introductions!
🗡 Character Introductions
NEIL JOSTEN – “Locke” the Rogue
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral | Weapons: Twin daggers and one sharp tongue.
Known for stealing from NPCs and Jeremy’s patience.
ANDREW MINYARD – “Ser Ash” the Fighter
Alignment: Lawful Snark | Armour Class: Impenetrable (according to him)
KEVIN DAY – “Korrin Daybreak” the Ranger
Alignment: Lawful Precision | Armour Class: Unrelenting Standards. Tracks arrow trajectories and enemy stats in a colour-coded spreadsheet. Claims it’s for optimisation.
NICKY HEMMICK – “Lyric Botch” the Bard
Alignment: Flirt First, Think Never | Special Skill: Inappropriate lute solos.
AARON MINYARD – “Penn Minn” the Cleric
Alignment: Nervously Good | Spells: Bless, Healing Word, Detect Evil and Good, Detect Magic, Overthink.
DAN WILDS – “Lyra Wild” the Wizard
Alignment: Strategically Chaotic | Has a 12-page grimoire and colour-coded tabs.
SETH GORDON – “Lark Diz” the Warlock
Alignment: Questionably Evil | Deals with a Patron named “PT.”
ALLISON REYNOLDS – “Vera Stormbreaker” the Barbarian
Alignment: Lawful Good | Wields a warhammer named Apology.
ERIK KLOSE – “Hans Breadson” the Paladin
Alignment: Chaotic Wholesome | Oath of the Rolling Pin | Carries a blessed skillet named Mercy and a shield shaped like a sourdough loaf.
NICKY:
(gasps) Hans. Breadson.
JEREMY(DM):
(trying not to laugh) Alright, heroes? Your campaign begins in the Kingdom of Palmetto, where rumours speak of a cursed court and a long-lost artefact known as the Crown of Victory.
🌑 The Cursed Court🌑
JEREMY(DM):
You reach the looming gates of a crumbling Exy court. Beyond the bars, rusted helmets gleam in the moonlight, and Exy sticks lie scattered on a court you can see where the moon lights it. The area sits beneath an eternal moon, frozen in pale light. A torn banner hangs from the shattered stone, a silver fox embroidered across it, half-devoured by shadow. Beside it lies another banner, crumpled and unidentifiable, its colours drained as if the darkness itself had fed on them.
Ahead stand the locked gates to enter. It’s carved with runes of competition, victory, and violent teamwork.
A low whisper says, “Only those who play the King’s Game may enter.”
DAN(LYRA):
We move in together — formation, people.
AARON(PENN):
I cast Detect Magic on the door.
ROLL: 14 (+3) = 17
JEREMY(DM):
The runes blaze to life. It’s definitely magic, corrupt competitive magic. A heavy curse lies beyond the doors, but a great reward awaits those willing to venture forward.
SETH(LARK):
So basically a cursed stadium. Great. Perfect. Very safe.
ALLISON(VERA):
If a ball moves on its own, I’m hitting it with my hammer.
NICKY:
Why do I feel like we should make our own D&D merch?
ALLISON:
Already designing the shirts. Sequins. Flames. Maybe a tasteful blood splatter.
KEVIN(KORRIN):
I push the door open. Also, the dimensions of this arena had better be regulation size.
JEREMY(DM):
It is not regulation.
KEVIN:
(monologuing)
This is why ancient cursed architects were a mistake.
(CHAT: #KevinLogic / “Sedate him w/love” / “Exy court in hell CONFIRMED.”)
NEIL(LOCKE):
I’ll scout ahead rolling, I wanna melt into the shadows.
JEREMY(DM):
Roll a stealth check for me
NEIL(LOCKE):
ROLL: 17 (+3) = 20
JEREMY(DM):
Neil fades into darkness like he’s allergic to being perceived.
ANDREW:
It’s just like real life.
NICKY:
Bold words for a man drinking chamomile tea out of a cat mug.
(Neil flicks a d20 dice at Andrew. It pings harmlessly off a chip bowl. Andrew sips his tea without breaking eye contact.)
JEREMY(DM):
Inside, you see beyond the court spectator seats rise in concentric circles like the ribs of some buried creature, and shadows swallow the highest rows of seats.
The court itself isn’t well-lit it’s just what the moonlight shows and what faint light there is, You can see parts of the floor. It is both hardwood and sand that is shifting with every gust of cold air that snakes through the space. Lines that should mark boundaries blur and fade, half-erased by the restless grit.
Something about the space feels wrong. Sounds don’t echo correctly. Loud noises warp into whispers, footsteps vanish before they fully land.
The goals loom at either end, crooked silhouettes that lean like broken scaffolds. It smells of dust and old sweat, and at the centre of the arena sits what looks at first to be an Exy ball.
Neil, roll me a perception check since you elected to scout ahead.
NEIL(LOCKE):
ROLL: 9 (+3) = 12
JEREMY(DM):
Neil, as you get closer, scouting ahead, you notice how it’s glassy, glowing faintly, humming with barely restrained power. The rest of your party approaches, coming up alongside you.
ERIK(HANS):
I would like to investigate the orb.
JEREMY(DM):
Anyone else rolling to investigate it?
(Neil, Dan, and Seth raise their hands.)
NEIL(LOCKE):
ROLL: 18 (+4) = 22
DAN(LYRA):
ROLL: 4 (+2) = 6
SETH(LARK):
I got— Matt. Where’s my die?
MATT:
It rolled under the cabinet, man.
(Seth looks devastated. “That was my favourite set. They had dragon eyes.” Matt pats his shoulder and hands him a spare. Seth stares at it like it killed his family.)
SETH:
I’m not rolling. I’m in mourning.
JEREMY (DM):
…We’ll circle back to Seth.
ERIK(HANS):
ROLL: 11 (+3) = 14
JEREMY(DM):
Neil, with the highest roll, when you peer into the orb, you see a reflection of yourself wearing a crown of iron and chains. The orb whispers your name. “Locke”, it begins to chant. Then it’s almost like it switches itself off, the glow fading but the chanting continues.
ALLISON:
I bet he likes his little crown of irons and chains.
NICKY:
If he doesn’t like it, I bet Andrew does.
(Neil flips them off as Nicky waggles his eyebrows at him. Chat screenshots instantly.)
AARON(PENN):
I roll Religion to see if this thing is cursed.
ROLL: Nat 1
(Donation meter dings. A tiny 8-bit alarm blares like someone strangling a kazoo.)
JEREMY(DM):
The gods put you on hold. Their hold music is really annoying. Also… Aaron.. sweet sweet Aaron. Father to the most beautiful cherubs in the world.
(Jeremy points towards the SunKissed display)
AARON:
No. I refuse.
JEAN:
(slides the smallest teaspoon known to man toward Aaron with sauce on it)
Take your consequence, little Minyard.
(Aaron glares but uncaps the bottle. CHAT: SAUCED MINYARD! SAUCED MINYARD!)
KEVIN:
Can we get on with it?
AARON:
If I die, tell my kids I love them.
(Aaron lifts the spoon to his mouth.)
ANDREW:
No. Tell them yourself.
(Aaron swallows the spoon, spluttering and tears up immediately. Renee brings him milk.)
KEVIN(KORRIN):
While he’s dying and on hold with God, I examine the surroundings of the arena, the seating and the general area.
ROLL: 13 (+3) = 16
JEREMY(DM):
You find carved player positions along the first row. Dealer, Striker, Backliner and One rune, the symbol for Goalkeeper glows faintly.
ANDREW(SER):
Mine.
JEREMY(DM):
As Ser says the words aloud, “Mine.” The orb pulses. The chanting of Locke’s name stops, and the seats begin to fill with figures. Spectators. Undead Exy fans.
Watching. Waiting.
NICKY(LYRIC):
I look the undead Exy fan up and down and go, “Honey, even Kevin’s left hand has more grip on life than you,” and cast Vicious Mockery.
JEREMY(DM):
(Jeremy rolls and succeeds on Wisdom Saving throw)
The undead Exy fans flip you off.
AARON(PENN):
Finally, someone respectable. Do the gods take me off hold?
JEREMY(DM):
No.
NEIL(LOCKE):
I step closer toward the orb.
KEVIN(KORRIN):
YOU CAN’T JUST WALK AT THE MAGIC BOMB, LOCKE.
(CHAT: Aww, Day is a bit cute looking after Neil. / #Kevneil / #ProtectNeil)
NEIL(LOCKE):
Walking away.
JEREMY(DM):
As Neil gets close, runes appear beneath his feet, hidden by the sand ignite.
The court awakens. And the undead Exy fans begin to chant “PLAY FOR GLORY… PLAY FOR BLOOD…”
⚔️ Encounter: The Spectator Spirits ⚔️
JEREMY(DM):
Three spirits descend to the arena floor. Roll for initiative!
(Everyone rolls.)
Initiative Rolls
- NEIL(LOCKE): 18
- AARON(PENN): 16
- ANDREW(SER): 15
- ERIK(HANS): 14
- DAN(LYRA): 18
- ALLISON(VERA): 5
- SETH(LARK): 7
- NICKY(LYRIC): 6
- KEVIN(KORRIN): 2
JEREMY(DM):
Dan and Neil, you’re up.
NEIL(LOCKE):
I’ll hold my turn.
DAN(LYRA):
I’d like to cast Fireball at the two closest to me.
JEREMY(DM):
Roll to see if you hit.
DAN(LYRA):
ROLL: Nat 20.
(A confetti cannon explodes. Jeremy slams a button.)
JEREMY(DM):
That’s $500 to the Open Court Project!
ALLISON:
Is that cannon going to happen every time there’s a Nat 20?
RENEE:
Not every time, I’ll try to warn you next time.
(CHAT: TAKE OUR MONEY. CHAT DONATION: + $200 for DAN|LYRA)
JEREMY(DM):
(Fails save roll)
Roll 8D6 for me.
DAN(LYRA):
That's (starts adding up the dice) 28.
JEREMY(DM):
Dan, tell ’em what happens to two undead fans who mess with the Foxes.
DAN(LYRA):
Oh, that’s easy, they burn.
Lyra twirls her wrist, the spell already blooming between her fingers.
Fireball. Centre court. I hope they brought sunscreen.
JEREMY(DM):
As you take out these two undead figures, more begin to amble forward. One takes a swipe at Neil, and one takes a swipe at Erik.
(Jeremy rolls)
You both take 7 necrotic damage.
AARON(PENN):
I get in range of the closest and hit them with a nearby Exy stick.
ROLL: 13 (+3) = 16
JEREMY(DM):
Hits. Now, roll for damage as you swing the Exy stick toward it.
AARON(PENN):
ROLL: 5 (+2) = 7
As a bonus action, I’ll cast Healing Word on Neil.
ALLISON:
Aww. Aaron, that’s so sweet of you.
AARON:
Shut up.
ROLL: 6
Neil, you heal for 6 points.
(Neil scribbles on his sheet the recovered HP)
JEREMY(DM):
You are up, Andrew.
ANDREW(SER):
I take my normal Attack action. I swing at the nearest ghoul.
ROLL: 9 (+5) = 14
JEREMY(DM):
The blade cuts across its chest, and it reels back, barely holding form. Roll for damage.
ANDREW(SER):
ROLL: 6 (+2) = 8
JEREMY(DM):
He’s teetering on the edge; one more hit should do it. Also, Neil, just reminding you that you are still holding your action.
NEIL:
I know. I’m waiting for Ser.
ANDREW(SER):
Good. Action Surge. I step in front of Neil and attack the one standing within his range.
ROLL: 3 (+5) = 8
JEREMY(DM):
Ser surges forward. He plants himself in front of Locke and meets one of the last of the undead head-on as he goes to swing, but he misses.
NEIL(LOCKE):
Perfect. I sidestep him and take my held action to take an attack on the wounded ghoul.
ROLL: 16 (+4) = 20
JEREMY(DM):
Locke manoeuvres around Ser in one clean motion. Roll for damage.
NEIL(LOCKE):
ROLL:
8 (+3) = 11
JEREMY(DM):
With 7 hit points left, Neil, tell me what happens here.
NEIL(LOCKE):
Locke drives his strike straight through the ghoul’s skull. It bursts in a mess of necrotic gore. Both Locke and Ser are now absolutely soaked in undead blood.
NEIL:
(Neil stares directly at the camera)
Hatford & Co. For the hits you take and the ones you land.
(CHAT: Look at them. Our two little gremlins. Covered in blood, synchronised murder cherubs, acting like this is just another Tuesday. Protect them at all costs. / #Andriel #RivalstoLovers)
ERIK(HANS):
How many are remaining?
JEREMY(DM):
Two remaining.
ERIK(HANS):
Great, I cast Bless on Nicky, Kevin and Allison.
JEREMY(DM):
Seth, it’s all you. Two spirits left.
SETH(LARK):
(sighs)
Fine. I Eldritch Blast the one closest to me.
ROLL: 2 (+6) = 8
JEREMY(DM):
As you go to blast it, suddenly, Seth’s spell circle flares a deep, unnatural green.
SETH(LARK):
Uh… that’s new.
JEREMY(DM):
A voice echoes through your mind, “Payment is due. Bitch.”
SETH(LARK):
…No, TP. I’m good for it, I swear.
ALLISON(VERA):
Wait, is that your patron?
JEREMY(DM):
The air tears open behind him. A shadowy, monstrous hand reaches through toward you.
SETH(LARK):
Nope nope nope nope. I didn’t sign up for this… Okay, I DID, but I was young and stupid. I was going to pay you back… I swear!
JEREMY(DM):
The hand grabs him by the chest, lifting him off his feet.
Seth, you take—
(rolls dice)
—18 force damage.
SETH(LARK):
I have 2 HP.
MATT:
Bro.
NICKY(LYRIC):
He’s so dead. RIP Lark.
SETH(LARK):
I AM NOT DEAD—
JEREMY(DM):
Your patron uses their bonus action for another attack.
(Rolls dice)
The hand squeezes.
Your hit points drop to zero.
SETH(LARK):
I am dead.
JEREMY(DM):
The patron’s voice rumbles, “Debt collected.”
Lark’s body drops. The tear seals.
Silence.
(CHAT: RIP SETH / He died the warlock way: unpaid bills)
ALLISON(VERA):
We are dragging his body out of here later. He is NOT staying with the cursed fans.
KEVIN(KORRIN):
This is what happens when you cut deals without reading the fine print.
JEREMY(DM)
The last spirit darts for Erik.
(Jeremy rolls)
You take 12 necrotic damage as the spirit’s claws tear across your side.
ERIK(HANS):
I’m at zero hit points. As I begin to fall, I try to close the distance between me and Lyric.
NICKY(LYRIC):
AARON DO SOMETHING
AARON(PENN):
It’s not my turn.
JEREMY(DM):
As you make your way towards Lyric, you stumble on the last few steps, collapsing into his arms.
NICKY(LYRIC):
I stare down at Hans. I’m not bready to lose you, baby. I loaf you, and I cast Cure Wounds.
ROLL: 8 (+4) = 12
JEREMY(DM):
Lyric’s hands glow with a warm light, and Hans feels the necrotic energy recede. You regain 12 hit points and manage to stay on your feet, leaning heavily against Lyric. The second-last spirit lurches forward, barely holding form.
Any other actions from Lyric?
NICKY(LYRIC):
I hold Erik close and kiss him.
JEREMY(DM):
So sweet, Allison, you’re up!
ALLISON (VERA):
I’m ending this one, I take out Apology and swing her backwards, getting ready to attack.
ROLL: 18 (+6) = 24
JEREMY(DM):
Hit. Roll your damage.
ROLL: 9 + 5 = 14
JEREMY(DM):
With a single brutal swing, Vera’s warhammer cleaves through the spirit. It bursts apart in a violent spray of ghostly residue that splatters across the cracked court. Only one spirit remains.
ALLISON(VERA):
I wipe my warhammer on my thigh, point it at the last one, and say, “Korrin. Finish the job.”
KEVIN (KORRIN):
I swing at it with my longsword.
ROLL: 17 (+4) = 21
JEREMY(DM):
Hit. Roll your damage.
ROLL: 8 (+4) = 12
JEREMY(DM):
Your blade slices through the spirit cleanly. With a final shriek, it dissipates into nothing but a puff of smoke. The courtyard falls silent for a heartbeat before the surviving spirits scatter in fear.
(CHAT: KEVIN|KORRIN DID IT. KORRIN IS A LEGEND. TAKE MY MONEY! $220 donation made)
JEREMY(DM):
We’ll be right back, folks, after a little break!
🎭 Out-of-Character Break
(The camera cuts back to the table. Renee is stacking snack bowls while Allison steals the snacks straight back out. Matt is checking the donation totals with Dan curled up against him. Jean and Jeremy are laughing together. Jean gives Kevin’s hair a playful tug, and Kevin swats at him without looking up. Neil and Andrew are watching their cat camera, checking in on their furballs, when Aaron wanders over to show them pictures of Theo, Kate, and Katelyn.)
NICKY:
I know it’s just a game… but I never want to lose you. Ever.
ERIK:
I know. You won’t.
(Erik stands, offering his hand. Nicky blinks, confused, but takes it. Erik gently pulls him away from the D&D setup.)
RENEE:
(Looks to Erik and gives a small nod)
It’s ready.
(Nicky’s brows knit, but Erik squeezes his hand and leads him through a side curtain. The lights dim, then warm. They step into a small set. It’s intimate, softly lit, with an uncanny recreation of the first restaurant they ever had dinner at in Stuttgart. Same table, same candles, even the same slightly wobbly chair.)
NICKY:
Erik… what…? What is all of this?
ERIK:
(stepping closer, taking both his hands)
I thought it was about time we made a new memory in an old place. And I thought if I can’t get the man in Stuttgart, then I can bring Stuttgart to the man.
(Nicky’s breath trembles. Erik drops to one knee. Nicky chokes on a sob immediately.)
ERIK:
Nicky Hemmick… will you marry me?
(Nicky nods so hard he’s almost shaking, tears spilling, breath breaking as he pulls Erik up into a fierce hug.)
NICKY:
Yes—yes, of course, oh my god, yes.
(Erik holds him close, rubbing his back soothingly.)
ERIK:
(whispering into Nicky’s hair)
They didn’t want me to tell you… But Andrew and Aaron helped pull Renee into this, so we could make it happen.
(Nicky makes a wrecked, startled sob at that—worse than before—and pulls back in disbelief.)
NICKY:
Aaron? Andrew? The twins helped?
(He turns, stumbling halfway toward them. Aaron is already moving. He meets Nicky halfway and wraps him in a firm, brief, almost awkward but real hug.)
AARON:
Congratulations, Nicky.
(Nicky’s crying again. He turns to Andrew, who gives him the smallest dip of his chin, permission without words.)
NICKY:
Thank you.
(Nicky darts in for the quickest hug imaginable. Andrew tolerates it with only a minimal tightening of his shoulders before Nicky lets go immediately.)
ANDREW:
You’re loud when you cry.
(Nicky laughs through the tears, wiping his face as Erik pulls him back into his arms.)
ERIK:
Thank you. All of you.
(When they walk back later, the rest of the table erupts into cheers, applause, and a few sniffles of their own as the camera pulls wide to show everyone looking toward Nicky and Erik, who are holding each other, rings glinting in the warm light.)
LAILA: Alright, you lot, back to it.
🪄 The King of Exy
JEREMY(DM):
Welcome back. Last we left off, our brave heroes faced off against undead Exy fans. As the last undead drops, the orb bursts with light.
A towering figure materialises. They’re helmeted in addition to a crown that seems welded to the top, armoured, unmistakably Exy sticks are held in each hand.
The King of the Court reformed out of smoke and splintered bone, towers over you as spectral chains begin to slam against the court. Roll Initiative as you reenter combat.
Initiative Rolls
- NEIL(LOCKE): 10
- AARON(PENN): 5
- ANDREW(SER): 3
- ERIK(HANS): 14
- DAN(LYRA): 12
- ALLISON(VERA): 15
- SETH(LARK): 18
- NICKY(LYRIC): 9
- KEVIN(KORRIN): 16
JEREMY(DM):
Seth, roll a death save for me.
SETH(LARK):
Oh! I forgot about those!
ROLL: 9
JEREMY(DM):
You fail the first death save. Tough break. Korrin, what are you going to do?
KEVIN(KORRIN):
Korrin stepped forward with the authority of a man who had coached too many hopeless freshmen. I’m making an Intimidation check on the undead king’s form.
ROLL: 17 (+4) = 21
JEREMY(DM):
Unusual, I’ll allow it.
KEVIN(KORRIN):
YOUR FOOTWORK IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE AFTERLIFE! FIX YOUR STANCE!
JEREMY(DM):
You just bullied a corpse.
KEVIN(KORRIN):
Good. Someone should.
JEREMY(DM):
Anything else from Korrin?
KEVIN(KORRIN):
Yes, I’ll also cast Faerie Fire at the King of Exy. You’ll need to roll a Dex save.
JEREMY(DM):
(Rolls)
ROLL: Nat 1
(Donation meter dings. A tiny 8-bit alarm blares like someone strangling a kazoo.)
The King reeled back half an inch, genuinely thrown off. You all have advantage on any attack rolls whilst it remains in the area Kevin has cast.
(Jeremy sighs, accepting his fate as Jean brings the spoon over to him. He downs it in one go when the heat hits. Sweat beads across his forehead. He smiles through the pain and gives a shaky thumbs up to the camera.)
ALLISON(VERA):
I’ll attack with my Greataxe and enter into a rage.
(Rolls twice with advantage and takes the higher of the two)
ROLL: 18 + 7 = 25
JEREMY(DM):
Roll for damage.
ALLISON(VERA):
ROLL: 8 + 3 = 11
Vera lifts her hammer, smashing it against the King of Exy’s Ankle. You coward.
JEREMY(DM):
The King squeals as his ankle becomes injured, Hans.
ERIK(HANS):
I’m going to roll for Divine Smite at Level 2.
ROLL: 14 + 3 = 17
JEREMY(DM):
Great, roll for damage, Hans!
ERIK(HANS):
(Rolls dice and adds them up)
That’s 14 damage. I look to Lyra and say, Help them.
DAN(LYRA):
Fireball, baby.
(Rolls twice, the higher of the two still isn’t enough to hit)
ROLL: 3 + 3 = 6
JEREMY(DM):
Unfortunately, that’s a miss any other actions from you?
DAN(LYRA):
Not at this stage, I might hang tight.
JEREMY(DM):
Gotcha.
The King begins to shake the chains. A blast of holy fire erupted beneath the King’s feet, blasting open the sand in a long crack. The floor split with a thunderous crack as he casts Death Ward at Locke.
DAN(LYRA):
COUNTERSPELL. NOT MY BOY YOU BITCH. Fourth Level.
(Matt is helping Jeremy with the combat board they have set up for combat, “That’s my Girl.”)
JEREMY(DM):
Lyra lifts her hand, casting Dispel Magic. Locke, you feel the magic teetering at the edge before Lyra’s spell kicks in. Knowing full well that could’ve been your end, it’s your turn.
NEIL(LOCKE):
Thank you, Lyra! I take out my trusty dagger and go to throw it between his eyes.
ROLL: 15 + 4 = 19
JEREMY(DM):
Hit, roll for damage.
NEIL(LOCKE):
That’s 9 total piercing damage. Bonus Action Hide.
ROLL: 14 + 4 = 18
JEREMY(DM):
You successfully hid from the King of Exy. He’s looking a bit sorry for himself. Lyric! You’re up!
NICKY(LYRIC)
I step forward, lute in hand, and let the room fill with a sudden, jarring chord. I cast Shatter, aiming the cone of sonic energy directly at the King of Exy. The King must make a Constitution saving throw.
JEREMY(DM):
(Rolls)
What is with these rolls tonight… four. Go ahead.
NICKY(LYRIC):
That’s 18 thunder damage.
JEREMY(DM):
Lyric, our beautiful, talented Lyric Botch-Breadson. How are you going to bring down the King of Exy?
NICKY(LYRIC)
The sonic wave slams into the King. He staggers backwards violently, his hands clutching his ears. Pieces of the ceiling and debris shake loose as the energy reverberates across the room. His eyes widen in shock as they slam down into him, making him fall.
NEIL(LOCKE):
So what now?
ANDREW(SER):
We go home.
NICKY(LYRIC):
We write a song about it.
AARON(PENN):
We sleep for eight hours and get a long rest.
DAN(LYRA)
Couldn’t have said it better myself, Penn.
JEREMY(DM):
And as the Foxes leave the King’s Arena behind, the world feels a little brighter—and a lot louder. The crown tumbles from the King’s head and lies at Korrin’s feet. What will you do?
KEVIN(KORRIN):
I never needed a crown before, and I sure as hell don’t need it now. I walk away with the rest of the Foxes.
(Andrew pouts at Neil that he didn’t even get to fight against the King, playing with the hem of Neil’s shorts, when Neil takes his hand, giving it a light squeeze)
🧡 Closing Scene
JEREMY(DM):
The party stands before the arena, torches casting gold across their faces. Beyond the arches, a voice whispers to each of you: “Play well, Foxes… you’ve won your freedom.”
(cue stream outro music — a slow acoustic cover of the Foxes fight song.)
STREAM TALLY: $71,870 Raised
JEREMY:
And that, dear viewers, concludes the Cursed Keep of Palmetto. The Foxes have won their freedom and a solid chunk of cash for charity.
We’ve raised over seventy thousand dollars!
(Camera cuts to Nicky gulping a shot of hot sauce and screaming off-mic about how he’s going to become Nicky Klose; chat spams 🔥 emojis)
A huge thanks to everyone watching. Every donation goes straight to the Open Court Project. And who knows, maybe we’ll come back for another session.
(stream ends on a freeze-frame of the majority of the table laughing under string-lights, dice scattered everywhere.)
The broadcast has officially ended, but the Foxes haven’t noticed. The room is dim now with pizza boxes scattered across the table, dice everywhere, and Jeremy’s DM screen collapsed sideways. The donation ticker in the corner still climbs in delayed bursts.
DAN:
So, are we doing a sequel, or do we retire undefeated?
SETH:
Sequel, obviously. My Warlock’s patron still owes me rent, and I feel like I should come back from that?
AARON:
No, you’re dead.
SETH:
That’s what you think.
ALLISON:
If we do this again, I’m designing proper costumes. Leather armour for everyone!
NICKY:
YES!
RENEE:
We’ll auction the costumes for charity.
JEREMY:
Oh, I love that.
A bit later… when all the Foxes have been dismissed for the evening.
AARON:
Hey…Andrew, are you and Neil still up for babysitting Theo and Kate this weekend? Katelyn and I have a thing we can’t get out of.
ANDREW:
Yeah. We’ve got the nursery ready at our place, too, so whatever works best for you.
AARON:
Thanks, I really appreciate it. I know they’ll be in good hands with you two.
📱 Group Chat Highlights (Later That Night)
Group Name: 🎲 Foxhole & Fireballs Aftercare 🎲
NICKY: Guys the vid already hit 300 k views 🤯
ALLISON: of course, it did we’re icons
MATT: that’s insane 😭 proud of y’all
DAN: Next year’s my year, I can feel it in my bones.
AARON: i think Katelyn would like that. She said she is defs back next year.
SETH: …personally, I think we should do car racing again
JEREMY: i feel like I should come too? Right?
NICKY: That's what she said.
[Bonus Footage – Unreleased DM Confessional]
Camera B catches Jeremy alone while everyone packs up.
JEREMY:
I’ve hosted sports shows, cooking shows, and Scorched Players, but nothing beats watching these idiots actually listen to each other for four hours. You see them fight on the court, and then you see this? The laughter, the way they hold space for each other? That’s the real magic.
(He pauses, wiping a smudge of blue glitter from his cheek.)
Epilogue – The Fan Cut
A week later, a fan edit titled “Foxhole & Fireballs” trends online. It intercuts fantasy art of their characters with real-life footage from the stream, with Andrew’s smirk, Neil’s grin, Allison’s battle-cry, and Nicky mid-song, his engagement ring gleaming on his finger. Soft music rises beneath captions:
“Play well. Play for each other.”
(comments flood the page: #FoxholeForever #CriticalHit #FoundFamilyGoals)
One Month Later — Open Court Project
The Foxes host a follow-up event: kids rolling giant foam dice, volunteers serving food funded by the stream’s proceeds. Erik is orchestrating it all with a clipboard in hand, a shiny ring and gleaming with quiet pride.
ERIK:
(calling across the room)
Nicky, the kids’ table is not for karaoke!
NICKY:
They requested it!
ALLISON:
(grabbing a mic)
Then let’s make it a duet.
(Jeremy films on his phone, narrating like a wildlife documentary.)
JEREMY:
And here we observe the Foxes in their natural habitat. Here they are feeding, singing, thriving.
(Aaron rolls his eyes but smiles as he holds Kate, and Katelyn holds Theo. Renee hands out dice-shaped cookies. Dan teaches a child Mage Hand with a string and a balloon. Evening settles over the community hall. The neon “Thank You Foxes” banner flutters in the warm breeze. Neil and Andrew linger near the car park, takeaway coffees in hand.)
NEIL:
Have you ever thought we’ll stop doing these challenges?
ANDREW:
No.
NEIL:
Yeah. Me either.
(They clink cups, watching through the window as the others laugh inside.)
