Work Text:
It was finally the weekend! No overtime work and no extra darkness that Saheon needs to clear, so for the first time in a while he was able to sleep in. At 11 am, Saheon finally opens his eyes. Enjoying the rare peaceful morning, he just rolled around on his bed, scrolled through his socials and played some games on his phone. Only after an hour or so of lazing around did Saheon get up to shower.
After showering and wiping his body dry, he noticed a pimple growing on his face. "This crazy damned company is working me to the bone and now a pimple grew on my face..."
Annoyed, Saheon looked around his stuff to find a pimple patch but the regular ones he had were all used up. All he could find was some flashy butterfly shaped holographic pimple patch he got as a free gift when he went out to buy his skincare a long time ago.
Saheon just shrugged put it on his face. He thought that since he wasn't going out during the weekend, it should be fine. Not to mention, he was planning to just stay at home the whole day as well, so there shouldn't be much of a problem even if he wore that specific pimple patch. Regarding that psychopath.... Well, he usually doesn't bother Saheon in the weekends if Saheon himself doesn't cause any problems.
Later in the day, Saheon's stomach started grumbling in hunger. After contemplating a bit on what to cook for lunch, Saheon decided to cook some good old ramen. It's easy to cook, and it should be quick enough to avoid encountering that psychopath.
He softly leaned his ear towards the door. Not hearing the sound of the TV or any odd movements, he opened the door to take a quick peek. He scanned around the living room and the kitchen; looks like there's no sign of life.
After confirming that the psycho isn't there, he quickly went to the kitchen to cook the ramen.
When the water starts boiling, Saheon rips open the ramen package. Just as he was about to pour the contents into the pot, he heard his Soleum’s door suddenly burst open.
'Fuck.'
Startled, he almost let out an embarrassing yelp. Fortunately, he was able to swallow it in and avoided from being an embarrassment to himself. He is also very thankful of his reflexes. Because if he didn’t, he might really have dropped the noodles. It would have definitely been an embarrassment of the century.
Soleum noticed Saheon freezing up like a deer in headlights in front of the stove. Raising an eyebrow, he asked him "What are you doing just standing there? The water will spill over at this rate."
Saheon wanted to strangle that crazy bastard to death. 'Is he blind? Or plain stupid? Or is he doing it on purpose? Can't he see that I'm making ramen?' But unfortunately to Saheon, he couldn't just strangle Soleum to death, so he slowly turned his face towards Soleum's direction trying hard to put on a friendly smile on his face and answered, "I'm making some ramen... sir."
Soleum saw that Saheon's body was trembling. Whether from rage or fear, Soleum wasn't sure, but he wasn't eager to find out. Also, it's not like he was stupid, anyone with functioning eyeballs can tell that the guy is cooking but Soleum is a little scared because what if Saheon tampered with the other food or poison in the water while he wasn’t looking?
But when Saheon turned his head to face him, Soleum was surprised. Is that...?
'My friend! Something looks different about this rude roommate of yours!'
'Yeah, you're right, Braun. It looks like he's wearing… a sticker? But I didn't think he was into this sort of fashion...' Soleum answered.
'What do you mean, friend?'
'Well... I've seen a lot those holographic stickers recently. They are especially popular amongst younger women.'
Still, Soleum wondered if the original viper had such strange tastes.
'This Braun thinks it is quite fashionable! Wearing that can make the stars look stunning.'
Soleum would never have thought Braun would like it. But he doesn't work in the entertainment industry so he wouldn't know what would be considered as fashionable.
As Soleum was conversing with Braun, Saheon grows a little anxious. 'Why is that guy just standing there and staring at me...? There's no way he'd kick me out from the kitchen, right?! He already terrorized the living room! There's no way I'd let him have the kitchen to himself as well!'
"S-Sir...?"
"?"
Soleum can see that Saheon is fidgeting a little while still holding on to the noodles.
'Right... I was going to buy some food outside but hm....'
"Hey."
"Y-Yes...!!"
"Make some for me."
"What?"
"Ramen. Make some for me as well."
"What?"
"Are you deaf? Do I have to repeat for the third time?"
'Fucking bastard...!!!'
"Weren't you heading out to eat. Sir."
"I changed my mind. Make some for me."
"This fu-"
"Using impolite language now, are we? Just make the ramen before the water spills over. It’s not much anyways, just add one more serving."
"...."
"...."
"...Alright...sir..."
And so, Saheon continues to cook ramen. This time, for two people. Meanwhile Soleum, who is now leaning on the counter, is staring at Saheon like a hawk as he prepares the ramen. Saheon holds back a shiver. This damned fucker can't even lend him a hand.
'My friend, this Braun is quite intrigued with your roommate’s cooking! Surprisingly enough it smells good!'
'I agree, Braun. I never thought that this viper could be quite the cook.'
"Hey, Baek Saheon."
Saheon slowly turns around to Soleum, "Yes, sir."
With a deadpan stare, Soleum says, "Make some for Braun. He says he wants a taste as well."
Saheon was only able to give him a discreet stink eye.
"Okay, sir."
And so, Saheon continues to cook ramen. This time, for two living people and a stuffed doll.
Thankfully, he successfully finished cooking without many problems after that. Saheon carefully poured down each serving of ramen. Yes, including for that stupid doll as well. Satisfied with his work despite the circumstances, he was ready to scurry off and enjoy his meal by himself in the solace of his room, but Soleum opened his mouth before he could even take two steps.
"Where are you going? Come sit here and eat with us."
Saheon wasn't sure when Soleum sat at the dining table, but sitting there with Kim Soleum at the dining table? That's never been occupied by its two tenants at once, mind you. Even that stupid doll is sitting on a folded handkerchief used as a makeshift cushion that the psychopath got from who knows where. Yeah no.
Soleum stares at Saheon as he waits for an answer.
"..."
"..."
"..."
Saheon takes a seat across from Soleum.
"Let’s eat."
And so, they ate. As comfortable as they can. Unfortunately for Saheon, he can barely stomach the ramen because his fuckass roommate keeps staring at his face. Fidgeting, he tried to look at Soleum's face, but because he was staring at Saheon so fiercely with his eyes wide open like a tiger observing its prey, he kept his head down again.
'This god damned bastard....'
Suddenly, he doesn't feel hungry anymore. Kim Soleum killed his appetite. All the hard work preparing the food went down the drain.
While contemplating on the best time to leave, Saheon realised that Soleum barely touched his ramen. The very same ramen that Saheon was forced to cook.
'What the hell? You forced me to cook ramen for you. But you barely touched it! What a waste of my time, you fucking bastard!'
"I can hear you cursing me in your mind."
'Wh-What?! How did that bastard know...!'
"Uuuhhh not at all, sir...! I was just wondering if my cooking is not up to your taste...."
"Hm? No. Surprisingly, it's good."
'Surprisingly...? Did this motherfucker seriously had zero faith in my cooking skills?'
"Even Braun says it's quite delicious."
'Who gives a damn about what that stupid fucking doll- oh wait. Kim Soleum.'
Even though Saheon is annoyed to the point of just wanting to flip over the table and strangle his roommate, he was only able to put on a forced smile, "I see...... That's good to know..."
"Speaking of tastes... are holographic stickers your taste?"
"Excuse me...?"
Kim Soleum points at his own cheek. "That butterfly sticker. Here."
"...?"
"....!!!!"
Saheon just remembered he put on that butterfly shaped pimple patch earlier in the morning.
"No! No, sir! This is a pimple patch I received as a free gift upon purchase when I bought my skincare a long time ago!"
"Right...."
'This motherfucking bastard doesn't believe me...!!!'
Saheon was about to retort back but just before he did, he realised that Soleum had a small smirk on his face.
'This guy...! He's picking a fight with me on purpose!'
And so, Saheon decided to shut his mouth.
"..."
"A pimple patch, you say? Alright, sure. But I never knew you liked the flashy ones. Especially the ones that are targeted towards younger women at that. But to each their own, I guess." Soleum lets out a small snicker. "Should I also get you something like that?"
Saheon bites his lips and clenches his fist, trying his best to fight down the redness on his cheeks from rising. Whether from embarrassment or anger, he was unsure. But one thing Saheon is sure about though is that he's trying his god damned best to hold back the urge to flip over the table and strangle Kim Soleum to death, again.
Perhaps being satisfied after tormenting Saheon, Soleum stands up from his chair with a smile and tucks the doll in his t-shirt pocket. He takes the two bowls with him and made a final glance towards him. "Anyway, since you're done eating then you should wash the dishes. See you later."
Saheon blankly watches Soleum as he goes back into his room with the two bowls of ramen he made earlier. 'This motherfucker!!! I could have stalled long enough from eating with him...!!'
Just as he was about to curse him out loud, Soleum opens his door again. With his head peeking out of the door he said, "Watch out for serial killers." And with that, he smiled and closed the door again.
Saheon stared at the now closed door for a few minutes.
'This creepy ass psychopathic bastard!! I'll fucking kill you!!'
Saheon held back tears of blood as he stands up from his chair and struts along to the kitchen while holding on to his bowl. Looking at the sink brimming with the pot and various other cooking utensils he has to wash, Saheon curses at Soleum again. 'That guy won't even help me wash the dishes!'
Later, after two hours of a gruelling dish washing session, Saheon was finally able to rest in his room. 'What an awful lunch I endured.' Sighing, Saheon just decided to let it go before he loses his shit. Still lamenting his fate, he was about to lie on his bed when he noticed a small box lying on the table. Saheon looked at the box of holographic pimple patch. "This fucking box of misery and unluckiness..." and promptly threw it in the trash.
Huffing out a small breath, he finally went to lie down on his bed. Perhaps because of Soleum’s tormenting earlier, as well as the tiring dish washing session, Saheon ended up falling asleep almost immediately after his head hits his pillow.
Soleum closed the door behind him.
Sigh.
'On top of indigestion, I was afraid I would have spat out my noodles on his face if I ate with him.'
Sigh.
I tried my best to enforce discipline with all that staring and crazy guy talk. I also did tease him a bit as well, so it should be fine for the time being. He did seem freaked out about it.
Hmm... but that innocent face paired with the butterfly pimple patch does paint a cute image. He could probably be an idol as the one that's assigned with an innocent personality in another life. Too bad he has a rotten personality to the core though.
…
Soleum shuddered.
'Friend, are you okay? Perhaps the weather is getting to you.'
"I'm fine, Braun. I just thought of something unpleasant for a moment."
'Oh my, you should do something else to take your mind of it, friend!'
"Yeah… I should just finish this ramen. But what about your portion of the food, Braun?"
'My friend is too thoughtful! Unfortunately, with this current body of mine, I am unable to even have a little taste of this ramen. So, this Braun will graciously offer his portion of the food to Mr. Roe Deer.'
Soleum gives Braun a small smile, "Thank you, Braun. I’m very grateful. I'll make sure to finish your portion of the food."
It is quite delicious, after all.