Chapter Text
She was slower than usual, not that anyone seemed to notice; everyone was too lost in the hustle and bustle of breakfast to notice she lacked her usual pep in her step.
“Juice!” Ted exclaimed through a mouthful of food.
Karen sighed, dragging her feet towards her husband with the pitcher of juice. She felt awful, she was exhausted, her head was aching, and she was stressed out beyond belief.
“Oh, Mom, can we uh, have some more bacon?” Mike grinned up at her sheepishly. Between him and Will, who he was sitting next to, they’d already managed to polish off half the bacon she’d set out.
“Sure, sweetie,” Karen sighed wearily. “I’ll put some more on.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Wheeler,” Will smiled kindly up at her.
“Where’s my juice!” Ted exclaimed, not looking up from the paper he was reading.
“Coming, Ted.” She muttered through gritted teeth, walking towards the man.
With shaky hands, she poured the drink, her eyes fluttered closed for a moment, willing the pounding in her head to subside.
“Hey!” Ted yelped as the cup of juice overflowed, spilling out onto the table.
Karen’s eyes flew open. “shit.” She muttered under her breath and immediately jumped into action, grabbing a rag to clean up, feeling eyes on her as she did.
“What are you drunk already?” Ted muttered under his breath to her.
Karen’s eyes welled with tears, and her cheeks burned with shame at the insult. Praying no one else had heard.
“Sorry about that, I don’t know what came over me.” She shook her head, chuckling humourlessly as she cleaned up the mess. Feeling the eyes leave her.
When finished, she sat down with a sigh, grateful to be off her feet.
“Mom!” Mike called from across the table, gesturing to his empty plate. “The bacon.” He reminded her.
“Please,” Will added, elbowing Mike in the ribs.
“Ouch, sorry, Mom, please?”
Karen sighed, looking down at her own untouched food. She was sure it was cold by now, not that it mattered; she wasn’t at all hungry, in fact, she felt rather nauseated, but she wished they might consider that she needed to eat, too.
“Alright, boys, give me a few minutes.” She sighed as she made her way into the kitchen once more
Since the Byers had moved in nine months ago, the work around the house had tripled, and, as it had before when it was just her family, it all fell to Karen. Cooking, cleaning, errands, laundry, all on her. She’d hoped that with more people in the house, perhaps she’d get a little more help, and if not, at least she wouldn’t be so lonely, but she’d been wrong. The house was often empty by 10 am; everyone was always so busy, off to school or work or some adventure she wasn’t allowed to know about.
If she hadn’t been depressed before, she certainly was now. Ted’s comment had hit a nerve. She knew she was drinking too much. She knew she had a problem, one that certainly wasn’t being helped by the pills she chased down with her wine almost every night. She knew she was a complete and utter mess, but she didn’t know what else to do; she felt like she was drowning, and no one seemed to notice. Well, Ted noticed, but he certainly didn’t care. Sometimes Karen wondered what would happen if she just disappeared, left, died, who knows? Sure, they’d miss her, but not really her; they’d miss the meals, the clean house, and the folded laundry. But not her.
Maybe Holly would, she hoped so. But lately, the young girl had become so absorbed in her own world, in her books. It reminded Karen of Mike just before they grew distant and Nancy before that. Her older children barely spoke to her now. They were both too engrossed in their own lives. Karen understood; she really did. Who would want to bother with their boring housewife of a mother? But she wished they would at least let her in. She knew something was going on, but no one wanted to tell her shit. Every day, she could see Holly going down the same path, wanting the same independence, privacy, keeping secrets. God, it hurt. Karen wasn’t sure what she would do when Holly finally pushed her away. Maybe she’d just wither up and die.
The smell of burning broke her from her musings. “Shit,” she muttered. “Get it together, Karen!” She scolded herself.
The bacon was burnt, she knew that, but that was the last of it; she couldn’t make more, so she dished the rest out to Will and Mike. They were teenage boys; they’d eat it either way, she figured.
Karen finally sat down again, her eyes half-lidded as she looked down at her plate. A wave of nausea passed over her, and she looked up, swallowing thickly as she cast a glance across the table, eyes catching Joyce’s briefly before looking down, trying to ignore the fluttering in her stomach that wasn’t nausea.
“Well, we gotta go,” Nancy said, smiling. “Thanks for breakfast, Mom.”
“Oh, no problem, sweetheart.” She gave her daughter a weak smile.
“Thanks, Mrs. Wheeler,” Jonathan added quietly as he exited, leaving their dirty plates abandoned on the table
“Shit, we gotta go to, Lucas and Dustin are probably waiting for us,” Mike said to Will, who nodded, grabbing one last piece of bacon before they both rushed off.
“Language, Mike!” Karen scolded him weakly.
“Sorry!” He shouted back.
Karen picked at her food, pushing it from side to side. She could feel Joyce’s eyes on her and was hit with a rush of shame. She can probably see how much of a mess I am
“Mom?” Holly asked softly
“Yes, baby?” She looked up, hoping she didn’t look as awful as she felt.
“Can I go over to Claire’s house today?”
“She lives just down the road, right?” Karen asked, pushing away her plate, still untouched.
“Yep.”
“Ok, but be back for dinner.”
“Sure,” Holly grinned, standing up. She closed her book and came over to hug her mother. “Thanks for breakfast, Mom.”
Karen’s eyes welled with tears at this, holding her little girl tightly, savouring the moment, she didn’t know how many hugs she had left with her daughter before she got “too old” for them. Karen blinked furiously to stop herself from crying, catching Joyce’s dark eyes again before looking away quickly, missing the look of concern from the brunette.
She broke the hug, pulling back to observe her daughter; God, she’d grown so much!
“Have fun, baby.” She smiled.
“Thanks, Mom! See you later. Bye, Dad!” She added as she walked past Ted, still engrossed in his newspaper. The man grunted in acknowledgment and stood, making his way into the living room to watch TV. Karen shook her head, anger burning in her chest. She was about to say something when she remembered Joyce was still there.
“Are you done, Joyce? I can take your plate.” She asked, her usual cheery tone dulled a bit by exhaustion as she collected the dishes.
“Oh, I can do it, thank you, Karen. Would you uh, like help with those?” The brunette asked; she was so seldom able to help out, and she felt guilty about it. Especially today, when something seemed so very off with the blonde woman.
“Oh, that would-“ Karen swallowed against a lump in her throat. “That would be wonderful.” She smiled for real this time, feeling some sense of relief. Today, everything just felt so overwhelming. The weight on her chest seemed to be pressing down even harder than usual. She wasn’t sure how she would manage on her own. “Thank you, Joyce, really, it means a lot. I’ve been so-“
She was interrupted by a loud honk. Hopper
“Shit! That’s Hop.” Joyce winced, looking guiltily at the blonde. “Oh, Karen, I’m sorry, I know I offered, but I really do have to go.”
“It’s fine,” Karen said, putting on a fake smile, willing herself not to cry. “You go on, I’ll take care of this, have a great day, Joyce.”
“You too, Karen.” She smiled weakly. “Hey, are you oka-“another honk cut her off. “Ugh, I’m coming, I'm coming,” she muttered under her breath.
“See you tonight?” Joyce offered, looking back at the blonde who was now engrossed in washing dishes.
“Yep, see you tonight, Joyce,” Karen responded tightly, blinking away tears as she scrubbed.
She finally let her tears fall when she heard the front door shut. She felt so sick, so overwhelmed. She just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep. But there was work to be done, and so Karen kept scrubbing.