Archive of Our Own ^beta

El breaks up with him a week after they get back to Hawkins.

The breakup itself doesn’t surprise him. Not really. It’s been coming for almost a year- since the day the Byers’ moved to California. Since the day El kissed him goodbye and for some reason, Mike was only able to think about Will’s smile, about Will saying he’d never join another party… 

Not possible. 

How is it those two words made him more emotional than Eleven directly in front of him, saying goodbye, actively kissing him?

At the time, it had been easy to pretend he was upset about Eleven and Will moving- and he had been, obviously. But… there had been more.

There’s always more.

California was… well he’d been a mess. So endlessly confused, even after a year of trying to figure things out by himself. It’s stupid, but Mike thinks it was the not talking to Will that had really been the worst torture. But then suddenly having Will in front of him- fucking taller and bigger and somehow even more beautiful… 

It had been a lot, okay? A lot a lot, especially with El right there too- looking oh-so happy to see him. And he had been happy to see her too, which definitely hadn’t helped his confusion…

If Mike is honest, he’s still confused even now. But he knows one thing for absolute certain- Will Byers is and always has been his kryptonite. 

He can’t really run from that anymore. Not if they have any hope of surviving whatever Hell Hawkins has fallen into now.

He hasn’t been able to explain that to El. Not yet- maybe one day, after he… understands it all better himself. But even so, despite how shitty of a boyfriend he’s been, El still wants to stay… friends. 

Friends. He isn’t sure if he deserves it, but… well, Mike can do friends. Historically, he is really, really good at friends.

Friends. We’re friends.

The memory of his own words, his own cruel voice, makes him wince. He’s been such a fucking idiot… but hey, he’s a Wheeler. At this point, it’s probably genetic to be an idiot about your romantic life. Both of his parents are. Nancy too. 

And god knows I am.

The Byers officially moved in two days after he and El break up.

Mrs. Byers takes their guest bedroom, while Jonathan and Will take the basement. For some reason, his mom is very adamant that Will can’t stay in Mike’s room- something stupid about privacy, which, frankly, is bullshit given she doesn't really care about his privacy, but whatever. 

The Wheeler house has never been a particularly quiet one, but suddenly, even the silence echoes and breathes like it’s alive.

Mike remembers, as a kid, wishing for almost exactly this- to combine their families, or really just to live with the Byers in general. He had convinced himself it would be the best- that he and Will would never stop playing D&D, hanging out, having fun…

They had been kids, then. Everything was simpler when they were kids.

Really, Mike kinda still wished they were kids. 

The first few days go alright. It becomes very clear very quickly that there aren’t enough bathrooms in the house, but there isn’t much they can do about that beyond try and make a schedule. Mike’s mom offers his sheets and clothes to Will and Jonathan (before checking with him, but that’s whatever, not like it matters). He doesn’t tell anyone about him and El- frankly, given everything going on, it doesn’t matter. Besides, he doesn’t really care. 

Everything is… fine.

Really, the only thing is that… weird feeling Mike sometimes gets. Seeing the Byers sitting with his family at his dining table, knowing they were all somewhere asleep in his house, just- having them here, like this? It just makes everything feel more real. Like another permanent reminder that the world is ending. As if the giant gaping Upside-Down portals and creepy snow aren’t enough…

But, even though the world really is ending, they’re still together. Still alive.

Mike is used to having Will come and go- out of all of his friends, Will’s definitely spent the most time in the Wheeler house. But… something about knowing that now he lives, sleeps, breathes, eats, lives in Mike’s fucking house? It makes his heart do gymnastics.

For some reason, he can’t stop thinking about it. Spends probably an inadvisable amount of time thinking about it. But he doesn’t stop.

Will Byers now lives in my house.

Mike isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do with that- with the knowledge that Will Byers is down in his basement right now, sleeping (hopefully) peacefully. Some very stupid part of him wants to go down and double check that Will’s still there. 

He isn’t totally sure what to do with that, either. But he does know it’s 1am and he really needs to sleep. And yet, for some reason, out of everything he could be thinking about, his brain won’t stop whirring on the Byers’ living in his house. 

On one specific Byers, really.

Will.

Mike knows he’s been an asshole over the past year and is desperately trying to stop- Will doesn’t deserve that, doesn’t deserve his stupid anger that has nothing to do with him. But… It's hard when the air around Will Byers is like a magnet, always drawing him nearer, even as the whole world is screaming at him to stay away.

He knows, deep down, that his friendship with Will is different, special- it always has been. Will is special- Will was his first real friend, way back before they had any semblance of expectations or the world around them. 

And as kids, they made their own world. One full of dragons and knights and castles- of far away lands and treacherous seas, endless forests and giant mountain ranges. A place of magic and hope, where Will the Wise and Mike the Brave go on crazy adventures and live happily, together…

Always together.

But… that’s just it- Will is his best friend. His person. Mike can’t- won’t- jeopardize that, not for anything. Not after they’ve finally started to carefully put it back together, after more than a year of growing all dusty and stiff and awkward. And besides, we have bigger things to worry about. The world is ending.

But hey… at least we’re together.

Ugh. 

He can’t keep laying in bed. He needs to move.

Mike gets up, doing his best to be quiet as he leaves his room and heads down the stairs. The clock reads a little after 1:30am, which is just great. It means he’s successfully wasted another thirty whole minutes not-sleeping.

He rubs his eyes as he walks into the kitchen, feeling all too awake for how late it was. Or early. Whatever. He grabs a glass and fills it up, leaning against the sink to take a drink.

Mike’s eyes drift to the basement.

That voice is back, telling him to go down there. To check on Will.

And for a second, without thinking, he almost does.

Then, abruptly, he stops in his tracks.

…Fuck.

No. Mike cannot go down there.

He doesn’t move.

No. He absolutely cannot go down there. 

It would be stupid- and a total invasion of privacy. It’s not just his basement anymore- it’s Will and Jonathan’s space. He can’t just… intrude. Plus what is he even going to do? Watch Will sleep? That’s fucking creepy, Mike. Don’t be fucking creepy. 

Still, for some stupid reason, he finds he still stands there for a minute. It takes considerable effort to tear his eyes away. To finish his water, put down his glass, and go back upstairs. 

Despite himself, his mind stays in the basement. 

Okay. So maybe, historically, Mike is not actually very good at friends.

*****

The first time Will comes up to breakfast wearing one of Mike’s sweaters, Mike chokes.

Quite literally- on a mouthful of cereal. It all goes down the wrong pipe, sending him into a coughing fit. 

Nancy has to thump him on the back. “Jesus, the hell’s wrong with you?” She mutters, shooting him a slightly worried look.

A lot. More than you know. Probably more than I know. He manages to wave her off like his heart isn’t pounding furiously. But he can’t stop his eyes from darting to Will- 

Will, who is sitting down across the table. Will, who has absolutely no idea that he just almost killed Mike. Will, who looks so goddamn comfortable in that old dark blue sweater. 

It fits him well- too well, way better than it ever fit Mike. It looks natural on him, like it belongs. It looks fucking good.

You know, objectively. 

Right?

Fuck. 

Mike shakes his head, hard, and tries very hard to focus on his cereal. He’s unsuccessful. He’s not sure why the sight catches so hard in his brain, but it makes something hot and possessive roar in his stomach, and suddenly, he’s unable to focus on anything else. It’s not the first time they’ve shared clothes- not even by a long shot- but it is the first time it makes Mike feel like this.

Will Byers is wearing my sweater. 

Is it out of necessity? Yes. Is it still true? Still yes.

He needs to control himself. To calm the fuck down and stop being so dramatic. But Mike, very suddenly, feels like a shaken up soda can. He feels a little insane, a little like his head is exploding. 

Will Byers is wearing my sweater.

“Michael?” His mom snaps her fingers from the other side of the table and Mike’s gaze launches over to her. Oops. How long was he staring for? “Hello?”

“Sorry,” he apologizes, although for what he isn’t sure. He missed something, that’s for sure. “What?”

“Jesus…” Nancy lets out an exasperated sigh, reaching over him to grab the plate of bacon. Oh. As she passes it down the table, she cuts him another, slightly more worried look. “Are you okay?” Her voice is low.

I think I’m in love with my best friend. “Fine.” He shakes his head. “Fine.”

Nancy doesn’t seem to buy it. “Mike?” She insists.

“Seriously!” He insists back. “Just spaced out for a sec.”

Her worried gaze doesn’t leave his face for a moment, but eventually she does look away. Good. Now that would be embarrassing, if Nancy thought he was being Vecna-ed while in reality he was just having an absolute crisis over his best friend… Although that was just his luck, wasn’t it?

Pull yourself together, Mike.

Before he can stop himself, Mike’s eyes somehow end up back on Will- and then he realizes Will is looking back. His heart does a rather pathetic flip, although it’s nothing compared to when Will offers him a little smile- 

Oh.

And fuck, Mike’s heart just melts. 

He is so, so, so fucked.

*****

Mike’s mother cuts his hair a month after he returns to Hawkins. She’d been threatening to cut it in his sleep before he left for California and he’d fought her on it for a while, but it was a losing battle- one he suddenly didn’t care enough to fight. He has much bigger battles ahead. 

Besides, Mike figures fighting monsters is probably easier without your hair getting all in your face. 

Of course, she cuts it like she always does, and he ends up looking a little bit like his twelve year old self. He kind of hates it. But whatever. That’s a different problem. Besides, Mike supposes he can’t really afford to worry about his appearance right now. He and El broke up, anyway- who would he even be trying to look nice for?

(...Definitely not anyone in particular.)

The Byers arrive with a car-full of groceries. Mike can tell because from somewhere downstairs, his mom screams, “MIKE!” 

“COMING!” 

He hurries down the stairs and pulls his jacket on. It’s chilly for late April- the temperature hasn’t gone above 50° in the weeks since they arrived, and today is no exception. 

Mike opens the door as Nancy and Jonathan come inside, each carrying two near-bursting bags of groceries. “There’s still a ton more,” is all Nancy says as she passes. 

“Okay.” He ducks out the door-

And almost directly into Will.

Oh.

Mike freezes before they can collide, and so does Will. Like a magnet, Mike’s eyes fly to Will’s face- to his eyes, his lips- and he has to physically remind himself to breathe.

“Oh- shit, sorry,” Mike hears himself say, although it comes out half a whisper- and they’re so close it doesn’t really matter. 

He should step back, but for some reason, he doesn’t. 

Will doesn’t step back either, although his eyes instantly fly to- “Your hair,” he sounds a little shocked. 

“Oh. Yeah, my mom cut it,” Mike shrugs, feeling a wave of self-consciousness. “She went too short, I know. I think she’s trying to get back at me for how long it was. I don’t know-”

“No, no- I like it.” Will cuts him off, and Mike’s mind goes a little blank. “I mean, it looks good.”

Oh.

“You think so?”

“Yeah,” Will nods. “You look… more like you.”

Oh.

For a second, Mike isn’t sure what to do with that- or maybe he just isn’t sure what to do in general. The air feels oddly warm and electric- charged, almost.

“Like me?” He manages.

Will shrugs, opens his mouth to answer, but it’s not Will’s voice he hears. “Michael.” His mom appears over Will’s shoulder, looking unimpressed. She cocks her head, gesturing back towards the Byers car. “I’ve been calling you. Groceries. Now.”

“Yeah, okay, I’m coming.” Mike huffs back, rolling his eyes as his mom pushes past him into the house. Will quickly follows- and with him, that feeling in the air is gone. 

Mike shivers, suddenly cold. He feels a little dazed as he goes to grab a few grocery bags, which is stupid and pathetic, but he really can’t help it. Will’s words just keep repeating in his head.

You just… look more like you.

As soon as all the bags are brought in, Mike quickly ducks into the bathroom. Stares at himself in the mirror, trying a little desperately to see what Will meant. All he sees are freshly cut curls and contained fringe, framing his face instead of trailing down to his shoulders. He brushes it back and forth, his mind somewhere back outside with Will- standing a little too close. Really, he had been close enough to kiss.

Mike isn’t sure why he thinks so damn much about Will’s lips. All he knows is that he never thought this much about El’s lips, even when he was actively kissing them. And that… feels pretty telling.

It looks good. Will’s words ring in Mike’s ears, far too loud. I like it.

…Maybe Mike doesn’t hate his haircut so much after all.

*****

Holly’s the one who orchestrates movie night. The Wheelers and the Byers pile together in their living room to watch The Goonies (Holly’s pick), which Mike only feels slightly attacked by. Seriously- his opinion is that the Party should get some form of compensation from the movie (and probably Steve too) because clearly it’s based on them. I mean, the leader’s name is ‘Mikey’ and everything… 

It feels slightly wrong to be laughing and smiling, watching a movie after everything that’s happened. But- well, they deserve it, don’t they? They deserve to be happy, even in all of the chaos, right?

Besides, Will keeps smiling and shaking his head and laughing, looking so goddamn beautiful in the reflected light of the TV… and how can anything really be wrong when Will looks like that?

God. If he keeps it up, Mike might have a heart attack. It’s just not fair.

He forces his gaze back to the TV in time to watch one of the girls try to remember how to play a bone-piano. The character reminds him a bit of Nancy, honestly- or maybe Robin. The similarities are getting a little ridiculous. 

In his defense, Mike really does try to just watch the movie. He really tries not to, but his eyes seem to have a mind of their own. They keep wandering back to Will. He watches Will react like it’s his own little secret show- and yeah, he knows that’s objectively kind of creepy, but… well, if anything, it’s Will’s fault for being so damn distracting…

Will readjusts, pulling one of his knees up onto the couch- and suddenly, Mike is very aware of how close their knees are in general. Only inches apart- practically touching. Will’s wearing an old pair of Mike’s sweatpants, which does something funny to his brain (it always does). He feels the sudden urge to reach out, to brush their legs together, to be close- like they aren’t already close enough.

God. Mike really needs to get himself under control, needs to act normal. But… Well, he’s never been very good at “normal”, especially not when it came to Will Byers. 

Will’s eyes flicker to Mike’s and his brows flick upwards in surprise.

Shit. Caught.

Mike manages an awkward smile, trying to play it off like his face isn’t flushing with embarrassment. “I think this movie has to be based on us, right?” His voice is chill and normal, like his insides aren’t on fire. 

Will’s eyes light up and Mike’s heart gives a pathetic leap. He wishes he could bottle the look on his face. “Right?” Will agrees and the awkward nerves release slightly. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

“We should get royalties,” Mike continues. “Copyright claims or whatever.”

“Yeah… I mean, the leader’s name is Mikey,” Will adds with a pointed look in his direction.

That’s what I thought! “Exactly!!” Mike feels himself grin, shaking his head. “Exactly- I mean, could they be any more obvious?” 

“Shhhhh!” Holly shoots them a brief look before refocusing on the movie. 

Mike and Will exchange a secretive glance, one that makes his heart warm and makes him smile like the absolute idiot he is. Mike nudges Will’s knee with his own. Will nudges him back, smiling at Mike like he’s something worth smiling at. 

For a moment, Mike forgets about the movie, about his entire family, about Mrs. Byers and Jonathan. It’s almost like his whole world narrows to Will- to his eyes, the smile lines in his cheeks, the little mole above his lips, his goddamn lips… Not for the first time, Mike wonders what it would be like to kiss them. 

To kiss… Will.

Then his father snores all-too-loud and the illusion shatters. Mike’s eyes dart away from Will, over to where his father’s asleep in his chair. Shit. When Mike looks back, Will’s already turned back to the movie. 

His heart pounds, aching. It’s unfair how you make me feel- and it’s even more unfair that you have no fucking idea.

Mike pretends to watch, but his heart doesn’t stop pounding for far-too-long. He’s hyper-aware of Will, of himself, of the very-little space between them- of the fact that their knees are still touching, a warm and constant pressure. It makes Mike feel all bubbly, electric- only a little like he’s going to explode.

He kind of hopes the movie never ends.

*****

Since the school year had been… abruptly interrupted, the Hawkins school district decided they were going to basically move around summer vacation. All seniors finished out their courses so they could graduate, but with the high school being used as an emergency center, every other grade was told to stay home. So they just never came back from April vacation, and instead are scheduled to go back to school in late July. 

And now Will is coming with them.

It’s stupid, how excited that gets Mike. But the thought of the Party- the original Party anyway- being back together again makes him feel almost a little giddy. 

He can tell Will is nervous, though. That definitely makes Mike a little less giddy. He doesn’t really blame him, either- if he’s honest, he’s a little nervous too. There’s really no telling what awaits them inside Hawkins High, but whatever it is, he’s willing to bet it’s going to be stupid and complicated.

Whatever. At least everyone’s back together now.

The Wheelers’ breakfast on the first day of school is usually a bit of a mess, but today it seems especially chaotic. Holly won’t stop talking about how excited she is to see her friends, Mrs. Byers keeps asking them about their route to school, and his mom keeps straightening his collar. She does it at least a thousand times, which is bullshit because his shirt definitely hasn’t moved in the last thirty seconds.

“Mom- it’s fine,” Mike tries to protest, waving her off. “Just leave it.”

She relentlessly keeps flattening it. “It keeps folding over-”

“Mom!” 

“Michael!” She pats his collar before finally turning away. “There, all better.”

Is it? Or will you do it again in a minute?  He sees Nancy smirking knowingly and shoots her a glare. Oh fuck off, Nancy. 

Mike can feel the nervous energy practically spilling off of Will, sees his knee furiously bouncing under the table. He wants to reach out to still it, to comfort him, but somehow manages to control that impulse. Mostly. 

He still tries to meet Will’s gaze. “You okay?”

Will glances over, clearly trying to swallow his nerves. “Yeah,” he manages. “Just… a little nervous, I guess. It’s stupid.”

Mike shakes his head. “No, it makes sense. But I mean, the whole Party’s with you, no matter how weird and different it is. And pretty soon I bet it will feel normal again.”

Something grateful flashes across Will’s face and he offers Mike a little smile. “You think so?”

“Yeah,” Mike nods. “I mean it might take some time. And obviously it’ll be weird, given that, you know, the whole world is weird right now, but- yeah. It’s still just Hawkins.”

Will nods, although he doesn’t look entirely convinced. And that’s fair- Mike knows “just Hawkins” is kind of a lie, given there’s also four Upside Down portals converging in the middle of town. And also… he knows Hawkins itself has never been particularly kind to Will, even before all of this. 

To either of them, really.

But it’ll be fine. Mike will make sure it’s fine- that Will is fine. He nudges Will’s leg under the table with his knee. “Honestly, I’m just pissed that we have to go to school in July. It feels like it’s against some law.”

Will laughs softly, shaking his head. “I mean, at least it isn’t hot.”

“Yeah, but it’s the principle of it,” Mike insists, eating a bite of pancake as he goes. “Being inside a school building in July has got to be some form of mental torture.” Which, in hindsight, maybe isn’t the best thing to say when trying to make Will less nervous about going, but it makes him laugh again, so it’s all worth it. 

It’s always worth it to make Will smile.

“Time to go!” His mom calls a few minutes later, whisking away Mike’s plate before he can shovel the last few bites in. He starts to protest, but she barrels through. “Remember- drop your sister off and-”

“Make sure she gets inside, and pick her up at 2:30pm sharp after school,” Mike sighs, rolling his eyes. “I know, mom.” You’ve told me a thousand times.

“Now are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” Mrs. Byers’ asks. “It’s no trouble at all-”

“No, mom, it’s fine,” Will insists. “We’ll be fine.”

Mike can tell from the look in Joyce’s eye that she doesn’t entirely believe that. Which is pretty fair, given everything that’s happened. Honestly, Mike isn’t sure if he entirely believes that. Mrs. Byers’ lets out a sigh and a nod. “You’re coming home right after school? No… No clubs or anything?”

“It’s the first day, mom,” Will stands up. “We’ll be home as soon as we pick up Holly.”

We. Mike feels we settle in his chest. He likes we. Probably more than he should.

“Alright. I’ll be at work,” she says, a bit over-exaggerated (which meant “Hopper and Eleven”). “So I’ll see you when I get home, okay?” Mrs. Byers pulls Will into a big, almost ferocious hug. “Have a great first day, honey.” Then she turns to give Mike a hug too, squeezing him tight. “Oh- and you too, Mike.”

Mike smiles, hugging her back. “Thanks, Mrs. Byers.”

“Mike, honey.” She laughs. “It’s Joyce, please.”

Right. He wants to laugh too, but probably for a different reason. He’s closer to calling her ‘mom’ than ‘Joyce’. “Right. Sorry Mrs- um, Joyce.” 

She smiles and winks, squeezing his shoulder as she steps back, looking up at him. Then she shakes her head. “You’ve gotten so tall… When did you get to be so grown up?”

For some reason, that makes his face flush- he isn’t entirely sure why. All he can do is shrug and smile back. And then, from the front door he hears-

“MIKE! COME ON!”

Shit. “I’M COMING!” He shoots Mrs. Byers an apologetic look before ducking away. 

Holly and Will are both waiting by the door. Holly looks impatient. “Mike,” she huffs. “We’re going to be late and it’s the first day!”

“No we’re not,” Mike rolls his eyes, throwing his sneakers on. “Relax.”

“She’s right, we should probably hurry,” Will adds, tugging on his backpack straps.

Oh.

Mike hurries.

*****

Mike can’t sleep. 

It’s not necessarily unusual- he’s not sure he’s actually had a good night's sleep since probably before California- but it’s genuinely starting to piss him off. How is it possible to be so goddamn tired all day, but then so wired the moment you lay down?

At least he’s not the only one. He hears Jonathan come upstairs a little bit after midnight and slip into Nancy’s room. The light doesn’t go on, but Mike can hear faint whispering.

It gives him an idea.

Without thinking too hard about it, Mike gets up a few minutes later. It’s easy enough to tell himself he needs water, like there isn’t a second plan hatching in the back of his mind. 

There’s no guarantee Will is even awake still- just because Jonathan is doesn't mean he is too. But Mike still finds himself creeping downstairs, stopping reluctantly to grab water before his eyes turn back to the basement stairs. 

This time, unlike when the Byers first moved in, he doesn’t stop at the top of the stairs. Slowly, as quietly as he can, Mike heads down into the basement. 

All of the lights are off, but he can make out the blob that is Will on the air mattress. He pauses midway down the stairs, feeling his heart in his throat. He should say something, if he’s going to say something. 

But… What is he supposed to say? I can’t fall asleep. I missed you. I can’t stop thinking about… everything. About you. It sounds so stupid and childish and pathetic, even in his mind. Maybe he should have thought about this before.

In the end, Will breaks the silence. His voice is soft, careful. “Mike?”

Shit. Of course he knows- Will always knows.

“Yeah,” Mike whispers back.

“Is… everything okay?” He mumbles, slowly sitting up. 

“Yeah,” Mike repeats, coming down the final steps. “I just couldn’t sleep. Sorry- did I wake you up?”

“No.” Will is quiet for a second. Then he offers, “Jonathan went upstairs to see Nancy.”

I know. Mike’s eyes flick to the empty couch. “Think he’ll come back?”

Will shrugs. “Probably not.”

Right. Mike nods, tries to cool his ever-pounding heart. Cool. 

If they were younger, Mike might have just walked over and laid down in the air mattress next to him without a thought. But… well, they’re older now and he does think, so he doesn’t do that. 

Instead, Mike curls up on the couch as Will lays back down, their heads facing each other in the dark. He can’t really make out anything, but it’s kind of stupidly comforting just to know Will is there. 

Mike hates that he already feels better. Calmer. Or maybe he loves it.

They sit in a comfortable silence for a moment. Like a sleepover. The words sort of fall out before he can think to stop them. “Do you… ever miss it?” 

Will doesn’t answer for a moment. “Miss what?” 

“When we were kids.” Before all of this went unspoken, but Mike was sure they were both thinking it. “Everything just… seemed so simple, you know?”

“Yeah,” Will whispers, feather-light. “I do. All the time.”

Mike searches in the darkness for Will’s face, but his eyes refuse to adjust. That was fine- things felt easier in the dark. He swallows, forces his gaze to the ceiling. “Sometimes… sometimes I wonder if things could ever be that simple again.” If… we could be that simple, that carefree. If we could be the way we were.

If I could stop fucking overthinking so much.

Will is quiet for another moment, thinking. Mike fiddles with the couch cushion. “I think so,” Will answers. “Maybe one day, when all of this is finally over.”

Right. Not now. Mike nods. “Soon, hopefully. Nance said she has a good feeling about this next Crawl.”

“That’s good.” Will sighs. “We could use some good news. I think everyone’s starting to go a little stir crazy.”

“Yeah,” Mike agrees. “I mean, I definitely am.” Why do you think I can’t sleep?

“Me too,” Will admits. “It’s… weird being back.”

“Really?” Mike can’t help but be a little surprised by that. “Why?” He pauses, then adds, “Other than, you know, the world trying to end and everything.”

He hears Will smile and mourns the fact he can’t see it. “I don’t know… The last time I was here, we thought Hop was dead and we’d just battled the Mind Flayer…” 

The last time you were here I realized I love you, Mike thinks.

“Now I’m back living in Hawkins and sometimes it feels like nothing’s different, but then other times like everything is… I don’t know,” Will shifts. “It’s just kind of weird, I guess. Like trying to fit back into an old puzzle I’m not sure I’m made for anymore.”

“You are,” Mike insists. “You definitely belong here. I think maybe things are just… weird right now. As I’ve heard some say.”

Will huffs a small laugh. “Where’d you hear that?”

“Someone very wise.” He hears Will laugh again, and his heart swells.

They stay like that for a while- talking softly in the dark, trading random thoughts as the time ticks on and on. Slowly, the air around them softens with the passing hours- almost like they’re time-traveling back to that simpler time where things weren’t nearly as serious, back before Will was taken, back when they could just… be.

Mike knows it’s a naive thought, but he relishes the feeling anyway.

He doesn’t know what time it is anymore- only that it’s far too late and that they definitely should go to sleep. They have school in the morning, and he actually is feeling tired now. But, very selfishly, Mike doesn’t want to leave- doesn’t want to have this moment end- so he keeps talking. He’s not totally sure what he’s saying anymore, but he’ll blabber on to keep himself awake for as long as Will wants to listen.

“And I mean, I’ve been thinking- if Robin and Steve really get this broadcasting job, couldn’t we potentially use that as a form of communication? We’d have to be careful, obviously, but they could code messages, maybe, through the songs…? I think it could be helpful, if something happens, since we’re all so spread apart most of the time. I mean, obviously I still need to talk to her about it, but… what do you think, Will?”

The silence doesn’t answer him. Mike manages to blink his eyes open, peering out in the dark again. “Will…?” Still no response. When he focuses, Mike can hear calm, evened out breathing. 

Oh. He’s asleep. 

That should probably be his cue to head upstairs back to bed, but… well, he still doesn’t want to. Plus his head feels heavy.

So instead, Mike just shuts his eyes again and curls back into the couch, feeling very warm. “G’night, Will…”

He finally falls asleep.

*****

“What’s the matter, honey?” Mrs. Byers asks as Will comes upstairs for breakfast one morning, grumbling.

“Nothing, my back just kinda hurts,” Will admits, pressing on the small of his back as he grimaces slightly. “It’s not that bad, it’s really just annoying.”

“It’s probably from sleeping on the air mattress for so long,” Jonathan offers. “You can take the couch tonight, if you want.”

“I don’t know if that’ll help,” Will admits, stretching. “I think I’d need to sleep on a real mattress to make it better…”

Mrs. Byers opens her mouth, but the words fly out before Mike can stop them. “Well, you can always share with me, I’ve got plenty of room.” 

The whole table goes silent, everyone’s gaze slowly turning towards Mike as he realizes- Oh.

Did I say that outloud? 

His face instantly grows hot. “I just- you know, I mean,” he blurts, quickly trying to backtrack but his tongue suddenly feels too big for his mouth. “We used to all the time when we were younger, so I just- my back doesn’t hurt, so if… if you want, you can just-”

“It’s okay,” Will’s eyes are a bit wide, a bit shocked. He doesn’t seem to know what to say. “I… I don’t want to take your bed, Mike…”

Mike feels his face contort and has to work to keep composed. That’s… not what I meant. But… well, how is he supposed to say that now? He can feel everyone’s eyes on him- both of his parents, Mrs. Byers, Jonathan and Nancy, even Holly… 

They know. They all know.

Fuck.

The thought burns in him, a bit frantically, and he quickly looks back down at his food, shoving in a mouthful of cereal. “It’s fine,” he offers around his bite. “We can just- switch or something, I can take the air mattress until your back feels better. I don’t mind, really.”

The table is quiet for another, too-long minute- in which Mike considers all the ways he could flee the country. Then, Mrs. Byers’ breaks the silence with a smile. “That’s… That’s awfully sweet of you, Mike…” She looks over at Will, who is still staring at Mike like he’s grown a second head. Which is fair. “What do you think, honey?”

Will swallows. He looks… unsure, which suddenly makes Mike feel unsure. Was that too far? Am I just being creepy and weird? Well- yes, the answer is definitely yes, but… Shit. When Will speaks again, his voice is soft- almost fragile. It makes Mike’s head spin. 

“Thank you, Mike…” There’s a gentle sincerity in Will’s voice that stops Mike’s train of thought in its tracks. “But you don’t have to,” he adds. “Really.”

“I know.” 

He isn’t sure why he said that, either. The heat on his face only grows worse. He tries to bury his face back in his breakfast and ignore the way his heart is pounding. ‘I know’? The hell is that supposed to mean, Mike? 

Honestly, he really isn’t sure. 

That’s the end of that conversation. Mike can feel the whole table still staring and tries very, very hard to ignore it. He can practically feel their judgement boring holes into him, trying to tug at his loose threads. 

Come on, Mike. He’s being ridiculous, he needs to get himself under control. But that warm feeling he gets in his chest- the feeling Will gives him- makes him fucking stupid. And not in the same way he usually is- in a way he was with Eleven. 

This is worse- makes him act like a total fool, a clumsy stumbling fool with no goddamn brain. Will makes him feel like he has no brain- like he’s acting with his heart and his heart alone.

You’re the heart, Mike. Maybe he took that to heart (yes, haha) a little too seriously. He’s pretty sure Will didn’t mean it like this.

Eventually, thankfully, Jonathan changes the subject and breakfast continues like normal. Everyone finally looks away.

Everyone except Will. 

Will, who keeps staring at him in disbelief- with a puzzling look in his eye, like he’s deciding what spell to cast in D&D, like he’s trying to figure something out. Mike’s eyes dart up once to meet his gaze for maybe half a second before he has to look away. 

Fuck. 

Mike spends the rest of the meal trying very, very hard not to spontaneously combust.

(In the end, Will does take Mike’s bed for a night. They don’t talk about it.)

*****

By the time December rolls around, it snows- real, heavy snow, not those weird Upside-Down flakes. Hawkins becomes a winter wonderland within a day- people put out decorations, seemingly trying to drown themselves in the Christmas spirit to avoid the glaring seemingly-unsolvable problems.

His parents are no exception- when are they ever? The Wheeler-Byers residence quickly becomes decked out in lights and decor, a giant Christmas tree in the corner of their already packed living room. 

They spend the better part of Christmas break tucked away at home, since it’s far too snowy to really go anywhere. His mom tries really hard to make Christmas Eve special. She cooks a bunch of hors d'oeuvres and leaves Christmas cookies for them to decorate. She pours herself and Joyce large glasses of wine and plays endless Christmas music, singing as they cook.

If Mike has to hear Deck the Halls one more time he might deck himself down the stairs.

Will, of course, takes the cookie decorating all too seriously. He and Holly compete for who can make the best snowman- and Mike knows he should probably be fairer to his sister, but really, it’s no competition at all. It’s kind of insane how good of an artist Will is, even when his medium is sugar cookies.

Mike’s attempt is… significantly less impressive. His latest snowman’s face is a little lopsided and it’s grimacing like it’s in pain. It looks a little bit like a child’s art- like something the world would expect from Holly, not from him. 

Whatever. It’ll taste the same. 

“Why is it glaring at me?” Will keeps giggling softly, poking fun. “It’s an angry snowman.”

“Hey,” Mike protests, although Will’s laugh makes it hard to even pretend to be angry. “Snowmen can be angry.”

“You’ve made a whole army of angry snowmen,” Will insists, gesturing to the baking sheet of various snowmen. And… well, maybe he was right.

“So maybe I have,” Mike can’t help but grin back at him. “Well, how would you decorate them Mr. Artisté?” 

“Well, for one, I’d probably make its nose orange, not yellow,” Will points out that Mike indeed has been using the wrong color frosting.

“Some carrots are yellow,” Mike protests. 

“I’d also probably make it smile,” Will adds. “You know, look happy?”

“Okay, fuck you,” Mike huffs, although there’s absolutely no bite in his words. He’s still smiling. “Maybe they just look angry, doesn't mean they are.”

Will laughs. “Okay, sure, maybe.” He shakes his head, grabbing another blank snowman. “Here, let me show you how it’s done.”

Oh? Mike raises an eyebrow, grinning. He leans over to watch Will spread a white frosting base over the cookie before moving onto the details. There’s a methodicalness to the way Will works- it’s kind of fascinating to watch… Before he knows it, the snowman has more-or-less taken shape- with a fancy-looking top hat, a scarf, and a pointedly happy expression. 

Will leans back, looking over at Mike with an only-slightly cocky expression. It fills Mike with a flash of heat, with a spark. “See? Much more festive.”

“Well, I guess this is why you’re the artist,” Mike nudges Will’s shoulder with a grin. “You’ve got a better eye for this stuff.”

“I’m glad we at least both agree on that,” Will laughs, nudging him back- and it’s stupid, because Mike initiated the original contact, but it makes his heart leap. 

He can’t help but grin like a pure idiot. 

Their parents end up wrangling all of the kids together to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas- which is funny, considering both of Mike’s parents and Mrs. Byers’ pass out less than twenty minutes in. Nancy and Jonathan end up entangled comfortably on the couch and, for a stupid moment, Mike can’t help but feel… jealous. 

His gaze flickers to Will, to the curve of his jaw and the way the TV light frames his face. He’s close enough to touch- for Mike to run a hand to smooth out his hair, to pull him to his chest, to hold… 

Mike knows he should look away. That he should reign in his thoughts before Will catches him staring like an idiot. But… fuck he doesn’t want to. 

Even if he were allowed to stare forever, Mike is totally convinced he could always find something new- some new piece of Will to admire. And that’s honestly kind of a miracle in itself- how can Mike have known Will for his entire life and still be so surprised? It doesn’t make sense… but also it does- because Will Byers is just that beautiful, that incredible, that surprising, that real…

Will looks over and catches him staring red-handed.

Again.

Shit.

Mike freezes. Then he smiles, tries to play it off like it was an accident- like he was just lost in thought. Which, all things considered, is technically true- but the issue is he’s lost in thought thinking about Will, which is creepy and weird and definitely beyond the boundaries of their friendship. 

…is it? Honestly, Mike isn’t even sure what the “boundaries” are anymore. If they ever existed in the first place. 

But then Will smiles back, polite and kind as always. Mike wonders if he knows- if he can sense the thoughts racing through his brain. Will doesn’t say anything, if he does. He just smiles like it’s easy. Like his smile doesn’t mean absolutely everything.

There’s so much Mike wants to say. That he should say- that he would, if he was a little braver. I miss you. I miss you and I’m sitting right next to you. How is that fair?

When the movie ends and everyone goes to bed, Nancy and Jonathan both go upstairs- no pretenses at all. And Mike, without thinking, follows Will down to the basement.

They don’t say much- what is there to say? Too much is bubbling under Mike’s skin, too close to the surface, and he can’t open his mouth or else risk it all falling out. He just- he doesn’t want to be alone, he doesn’t want to watch Will go, wants to sleep on the couch, next to Will… 

He wants so goddamn much.

Maybe he’s just tired. Maybe it’s watching his sister be happy, while watching his mother drink herself into a slumber. Or maybe it’s just Mike, wanting Will even after so long of being told he shouldn’t.

He lays down on the couch as Will crawls into bed. Really, Mike wishes he were braver, able to suggest sleeping in the same bed simply so he could be closer to Will. He remembers having sleepovers as a kid, sleeping in the same bed and silently deciding it was warmer and more comfortable to cuddle, to wrap his arms around Will and hold him through the night like it was easy, like it made sense… 

It seems too good to be true. Mike can’t help but wonder if that was ever real. If he’d dreamt it all. 

He wonders if Will remembers those nights. If he ever thinks about them.

In the distance, Mike sees the digital alarm clock click to read 12:00AM. Officially midnight.

He isn’t sure what makes him break the silence, but he does. “Merry Christmas, Will.” It’s whispered- a little secret between them.

For a moment, there’s no answer. Maybe Will’s asleep. But then, in the darkness, he sees the faint outline of a smile. “Merry Christmas, Mike.”

*****

It’s New Year's Eve and Mike isn’t jealous, despite what it might seem like. Steve and Robin decided to host a little party for the Party (no pun intended) at the Harrington house. Mike’s never been to a house party before, but being invited to a Steve Harrington house party is something he never thought would happen.

I guess there’s a first for everything.

Anyway. Mike is not jealous. He wishes Will would talk to him instead of Lucas, sure, but he’s not jealous. That would be stupid.

It’s just- it seems like Will has been stuck by Lucas’ side all night. 

Which is fine- obviously. 

It just feels like he hasn’t even looked Mike’s way all night.

Which probably isn’t true-

But it feels true and that is enough to make him feel more than a little crazy.

Mike’s head spins.

…Maybe this should be my last drink.

He ignores the thought and sips from his can carefully, grimacing at the wheaty taste. It’s not the best- maybe he just doesn’t like beer very much, even though he probably should (common theme?)- but he drinks it anyways and tries very hard not to glare at Lucas, not to stare at Will…

He fails.

“Yowch.” Steve’s voice comes from next to him, and Mike realizes he’s leaning against the wall beside him. Oh. “What’d Sinclair do?” 

Mike forces his eyes away, to move over to Steve. “Huh?”

“You’re glaring a hole into him, dude,” Steve chuckles. 

Shit. “No I’m not,” he mutters, although he’s aware he definitely is.

“Well, I mean, you kinda are,” Steve insists.

“No.” Mike sounds only a little like a petulant child. He doesn’t really want to talk about this right now, not with Steve the Hair Harrington. Not with his sister’s ex-boyfriend. How could he understand, anyway?

Steve, to his credit, shrugs, sipping his beer. “Alright… well, Robin sent me to get everyone. It’s almost midnight. Time to rockin’ eve.” He makes a face and does a little shimmy. 

Is it really? Mike’s totally lost track of time at this point. He nods, his eyes turning back towards Lucas and Will. “Yeah, thanks.”

Steve doesn’t leave for another moment. Just watches him- Mike can feel the eyes. “You sure you’re doing alright, Wheeler?”

No. I’m in love with my best friend and I think it’s making me actively lose my mind a little. “Yeah.” Mike takes another long sip of his own drink, tipping it upright to finish the can. “Yeah. I’m great.” He’s never actually been drunk before, but he feels pleasantly buzzed, a little like he’s floating. It’s… nice. Bubbly. Warm.

He isn’t quite sure what to do with the new knowledge that Will’s smile makes him feel the same way as three beers, drunk and giddy. 

It doesn’t seem like Steve particularly believes him, but Mike doesn’t particularly care. And it doesn’t matter- moments later, Robin’s voice comes shouting from the other room. “Guys!! One minute!!”

Mike follows Steve into the room, watching as each couple couples up- although with Max in the hospital, and he and El being broken up, there weren’t nearly as many as there used to be. It’s really just… Nancy and Jonathan? Is that all? He’s not sure why that feels wrong- it’s true.

“TEN!” Everyone is shouting- and for a second, it’s all too easy to forget that they’ve been pulling off heists and ignoring government rules like it’s nothing. For a second, they’re all just a bunch of teenagers, being stupid teenagers. It almost feels… wrong. “NINE!”

Mike can feel eyes on him, probably expecting him to walk over to Eleven and kiss her at midnight. But that’s not even a thought in his mind. He catches El’s gaze from across the room and offers her a smile. She waves and smiles back. 

He grabs another beer and pops it open, taking a sip and watches the countdown finish.

“...THREE! TWO! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” 

The Party erupts with excited shouts. Nancy and Jonathan kiss, and Lucas and Will hug, and the jealous heat in Mike’s stomach twists and roars up. 

Fuck.

I wish I could kiss Will for New Years.

He takes another long sip and grimaces at the taste- or maybe at his own reckless thought. He can’t do that- won’t do that. Can’t ruin everything. 

But… Mike doesn’t make the thought go away. He doubles down, actually- probably because of the alcohol.

I really wish I could kiss Will. 

He needs to keep himself under control- he’s aware of that. He has it under control- it’s especially fucking easy when Will doesn’t acknowledge him. 

But… well, just thinking the thought doesn’t hurt anything- right? Besides, Mike isn’t sure he could stop the thought even if he wanted to. After all, he’s spent too many years trying- and too many years failing. 

Fuck it. Maybe he's just drunk, but he thinks it- really lets himself fully mean it.

Mike really, really, really wishes he could kiss Will.

*****

It’s Valentine’s Day and everyone is acting obnoxious. 

Okay, well maybe not everyone. Lucas is understandably pretty sad, Dustin is… well, he’s in a foul mood every day, but it’s a particularly bad one today, and Will is… well, Mike can’t really look at him today, but that’s not Will’s fault. 

However, between Jonathan and Nancy, his mother going on and on about dinner praying his father would get the hint (Mike doubts he will), all the various stupid couples at school, and the fact that all the hallways are decorated with pink and red paper chains, Mike feels more than a little annoyed.

Then, of course, right before lunch, Lucas brings up Eleven. “So… Do you have any plans with El today?”

Mike feels everyone’s eyes turn towards him in an instant. He pauses digging in his locker to shoot him a look. “No.”

Lucas almost seems surprised, which is stupid. “Why not?” 

“Cause we broke up, Lucas.” Mike lets out a sigh, slamming his locker shut as he turns to face his stunned-looking friends. “Why do you think?”

The silence that follows is almost comical. “When the hell did you guys do that?” Dustin sounds incredulous.

It’s in that moment that Mike realizes he never said anything- but, well, it doesn't really matter. His relationship status is nothing compared to the state of the world. “Like… when we got back to Hawkins,” Mike shrugs. “It’s whatever, it isn’t important.”

“Uh- hello! Of course it’s important!” Lucas insists, his eyes wide. “You and El broke up months ago?? Why??”

“Why the hell do you think?” Mike snaps before he can stop himself. Because I’m in love with Will. “I was never a very good boyfriend.”

“Well, there has always been a lot going on,” Will tries to protest, and Mike tries to act like that doesn’t make his heart leap. Why are you defending me? I was wrong. I was an asshole.

“Exactly,” Mike shakes his head. “Exactly- I mean, the ground split open with portals to the Upside Down. We’re in quarantine. El’s got way bigger things to worry about- we all do.”

“Right, but- you guys have been broken up all this time?” Lucas insists. “And you didn’t feel the need to tell… anyone? Not even your best friends?”

“Because it doesn’t matter, Lucas,” Mike huffs. “We’re fine. It’s fine.” He pauses, and when no one’s expression changes, he adds, “It’s fine. Seriously. Let’s just- go to lunch, okay?”

For whatever reason, it really doesn’t seem like the others believe him. Whatever. They don’t need to believe him- Mike is right. It’s not a big deal. It’s just… a fact, something that objectively already happened. And at this point, they broke up so long ago that it’s stupid to be upset about it. 

And he isn’t upset about it. Honestly, he wasn’t even upset about it when it originally happened- and that had maybe been the worst part. It had felt… good. Right, even. He and El had never really made sense- not on the way they were supposed to.

Not in the way Will makes me make sense.

Suddenly Mike can’t look up- can’t risk looking over at Will, who is most certainly looking at him. Will, who is so perfect and lovely and kind- the literal best, most beautiful person he knows, inside and out. Will, who deserves someone so much better than Michael fucking Wheeler. 

That doesn’t stop him from wishing. From thinking about it at length. It’s pathetic, he knows, but… well, it’s Will. 

Mike ducks his head and ignores his friends as they hurry after him. He resists the urge to rip down a paper chain as he passes. It feels like it’s taunting him.

*****

There’s a soft knock on the door- so soft he almost doesn’t hear it at first. Not until it’s repeated a second time. Mike looks up from where he’s been struggling with quadratics for at least an hour, blinking stray numbers out of his eyes. “Yeah?” The door opens to reveal- Will. He blinks, then blurts a little stupidly, “Oh. Hey.”

“Hey.” Will seems nervous. His eyes dart around the room and Mike realizes, with a sudden start, that it’s been… literal years since Will has stepped foot in his room. When the hell did that happen? “Can… Can I come in?”

Since when do you ask? Mike isn’t sure what’s going on. “Uh… yeah, sure.”

Will steps inside and lets the door close, although it doesn’t shut all the way. There’s a moment of silence, in which Mike just stares back at Will in confusion as he lingers in the center of the room. 

“Are you… okay?” Will slowly asks. “About El?”

Oh.

Something catches in Mike’s throat. Out of everything, that was not what he’d expected to come out of Will’s mouth. “Oh. Yeah.” He swallows, suddenly feeling strangely… caught? “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Right.” Will fiddles with his fingers, seeming all-too-nervous and unsure. It makes Mike feel nervous too, which is stupid- there’s no reason to be. “Still. It must’ve been hard. You guys were together for… a while.”

And the whole time I was thinking about you. Mike suddenly has to look away. “I’m fine, Will,” he repeats, and it comes out harsher than he wants. He just- he can't talk to Will about this. “It happened a while ago. I’m over it.”

 “Okay. If… If you’re sure.” Will falls quiet, an odd expression on his face. 

The air doesn’t settle- it seems like there’s more he wants to say. Mike can’t help it. “What?”

“What?” Will looks back at him.

“You don’t believe me?” Mike insists, although he isn’t sure why. “You think I’m not over it?”

“No, I just…” Will seems at a loss for words for a second, just staring back. “I think you’ve been acting kind of weird for a while.” 

“Weird,” he repeats back and the word is like a physical blow, except he knows Will would never hit him. But… Acting weird. Isn’t that exactly what he’d been afraid of- of Will noticing, of Will thinking he was weird, that he was wrong? Fuck. “Well. I guess now you know why.” The words fall out before he can stop them. Fuck- 

Will is quiet again. “Why didn’t you talk to anyone about it?”

This again? “I told you-”

“We would have listened,” Will insists. “Regardless of the world trying its best to end, we’re still your friends, Mike. We would have been there for you.”

While what? Mike shakes his head. While I deal with the fact that I have- have feelings for you? “It’s fine, Will. Really. I didn’t want to talk about it, and I still don’t. Can you just drop it?” 

The words come out harsher, with more bite than he intends again. He sees it land on Will’s face, sees him blink- a little lost- before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry.” 

Mike can feel himself being an asshole again. Doing exactly what he said he wouldn’t- that he didn’t want to do anymore. But his heart is pounding so hard that he feels a little like he might just die and- well, how the fuck is supposed to talk about Eleven with Will? The others, maybe, but Will? How could he even ask that? 

“I have to finish this,” Mike mutters, turning back to his half-finished homework sheet. “Have you finished this? The quadratics bullshit?”

“No,” Will answers.

“It’s so stupid,” Mike adds. “Makes no goddamn sense.”

Will is quiet again for a moment. “Well. Let me know if you need help figuring it out.” Then Will’s gone- darting out of the room and down the stairs like he was never even there.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me? Mike’s eyes fall shut. “...Shit.”

*****

Mike really wants to do better. Wants to stop doubling down on his mistakes and making them worse. He doesn’t want to be the same person he has been.

He doesn’t want to be his father.

So he makes an effort.

The next day after school, he finds Will downstairs in the basement, drawing in a sketchbook. “Hey,” Mike tries to smile and sound happy, upbeat- like his insides aren’t writhing. “What’re you drawing?”

Will looks up and, for a second, almost seems confused to see him. Then he smiles slightly. “Nothing really.”

“Oh come on,” Mike rolls his eyes. “Like I believe that.”

Will huffs out a slight laugh. “Just doodling, honestly.”

Mike glances down at the sketchbook and instantly recognizes what he sees. “Is that an Owlbear?” 

Will’s cheeks flush slightly. “Yeah… It’s not done yet,” he protests, but Mike’s already grinning.

“Dude, that looks awesome. What do you mean it’s not done?”

“It’s- I have to finish this leg,” Will adds, “And then I have to go in and shade everything…”

“Well. For a work in progress, it looks fucking awesome.” Mike insists. 

“Thanks,” Will smiles sheepishly, looking back down at his sketchbook to continue drawing. He seems embarrassed- he always does, whenever anyone compliments his art. Which is stupid, because he’s a fantastic artist- he always has been, ever since they were little.

Mike stands there in silence for a moment, trying to figure out what more to say- how to fix it. Will’s words keep repeating, over and over again- Well. Let me know if you need help figuring it out. 

His stupid mouth opens again before he can think to stop it. “By the way, I think I’ve figured it out.”

Will pauses, glancing up at him. “Figured… it out?” He repeats back.

Shit. Right. “I was being stupid before,” Mike insists, trying to force the words out before he can stop them. “Last night. Quadratics are easy. I just had to stop being an idiot, really.” 

Will just stares at him for a moment, brow furrowed. “Quadratics,” he repeats, a bit dumbly, and suddenly Mike feels caught.  

“Yeah,” he manages a sharp nod. “You know, math.”

His brain stupidly adds, Will + Mike = …well, they didn’t exactly know what, did they? 

Will’s eyes are quizzical and stupidly gorgeous. He doesn't answer for another long moment. Then, slowly- “Right. Math.”

Mike’s not making sense. But he doesn’t know how to say it without- without saying it. And those words he’s not quite ready to say yet. “So yeah. Let me know if you need any help. With the math.”

“Right,” Will repeats, almost in shock. “I... Thanks, Mike.” 

“Yep. Cool.” Mike can’t flee the basement fast enough.

*****

The day of his seventeenth birthday, Mike doesn’t expect much of anything. So when he comes downstairs to balloons and a stack of waffles drenched in syrup, he’s honestly a little surprised.

“Happy Birthday to you!” The Wheelers’ and Byers’ sing in chorus. “Happy Birthday, dear Mike… Happy Birthday to you!” 

His mom has a camera- as always- and immediately snaps a picture. Mrs. Byers is smiling so big it looks like her face is about to break open. Everyone’s smiling at him, actually- even his father is smiling a little. 

And Will… Well, Will’s busy smiling at Mike like he’s the sun and… and it makes Mike feel like he might be. Like he could be.

It all makes his head spin. 

He’s not sure he really deserves the celebration- he doesn’t feel like he does. It doesn’t feel like it matters right now. So it’s Mike’s birthday? The world is also ending. That feels a little more pressing than a little party.

But apparently, he’s the only one here who thinks that. Hell, even Nancy seems pretty relaxed- happy, even. It probably helps that the last Crawl was Hop’s fastest yet. She’s been riding that high for a week or so- honestly, they all have been.

Maybe that’s why Mike doesn’t protest too much… except when his mom forces him to wear a flimsy party hat and pose for far-too-many pictures. “It’s not every day my little baby boy turns seventeen…” She croons, smiling too wide.

Mike squirms. The strap of his party hat is digging into his chin. “God, mom…” 

She ignores him, still clicking away with her camera. “Remember on his first birthday when he smeared his cake all over himself? I swear, he was more frosting than baby! He smelled sweet for weeks-”

“Mom.” Mike protests, suddenly all too hot in the face. It’s truly like she takes some sick pleasure in embarrassing him. He can practically feel Will’s eyes on him- which is stupid, it’s not like Will’s never heard that story before. But for some reason his gaze burns Mike’s skin like pins and needles. “Come on.”

“Alright, alright, fine,” she lets out a sigh, snapping one more photo. “One day when you have a whole family of your own, your wife will be glad I took all these pictures.” She reluctantly lowers the camera. “Go ahead.”

Right. My wife. Mike keeps his eyes planted firmly on the stack of waffles, refuses to even look in Will’s direction. He blows out the candle and tries not to melt under everyone’s gaze. Tries desperately to ignore the look on Will’s face. 

As he usually does when it comes to Will, Mike fails.

*****

Mike is going to piss himself. 

It’s an unfortunate reality- one that he’s faced several times over the past… what, year and a half? They really don’t have enough bathrooms for eight people…

He knows Nancy’s out of the shower now. She has been for a minute. Mike’s been patient- he had to pee before she went in like half an hour ago, and… well, now they were nearing a Code Red.

“Nancy, I’m so serious, open the door right now,” Mike pounds on said door. “Nance, come on, I’m going to fucking explode and piss everywhere, let me-”

The door opens. It’s definitely not Nancy.

It’s Will.

Mike’s mind goes blank.

Will. 

Will just got out of the shower. Not Nance.

“Oh. Shit,” he mutters, really intelligently.

“Don’t explode,” Will jokes, offering a small smile and- fuck. Mike might just explode, for a totally different reason. 

“Sorry, I-” he manages, shaking his head stupidly. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Will steps past him, hurrying downstairs like it’s easy. 

For a stupidly long moment, Mike just… doesn’t move. Just stares like an idiot at the space Will was just in. “Shit.”

Having the Byers here is going to give him heart problems, sooner or later. 

And yet… some part of him really hopes they never leave.

*****

By the time the official one-year anniversary of Hell-breaking-loose rolls around, Mike barely notices. There’s a Crawl scheduled for tomorrow and his mind is still running over the details of Nancy’s plan. But- reliably- his parents point out the stupid and small thing that distracts him.

“Can you believe it’s been one year to the day since you all moved in with us?” His mom lets out a laugh that night at dinner, shaking her head as she cuts her meatloaf. “Hard to believe, isn’t it?”

“Wow. Has it really been a whole year?” Mrs. Byers doesn’t seem to be able to believe it either. 

“I guess time flies when you’re having fun, huh?” Mike’s father says dryly from behind his newspaper, barely bothering to hide his annoyance anymore. Mike resists the urge to throw a spoon at him. 

Mrs. Byers seems to sense it too and quickly adds, “Thank you again so much for letting us stay here… You can’t understand how much you’ve done for us… I really don’t know what we’d do without you guys being so kind,” she admits. “We’d probably have had to stay in the shelter.”

Or in Hopper’s cabin with him and El, which is made up of two rooms and a bathroom.

“Oh of course, Joyce,” his mother’s voice is laced with an air of disdain and frustration, but Mike knows she means well- unlike his father, his mother actually does love the Byers’ on some level. “We wouldn’t let that happen. You guys are like a second family to us.”

Mike can’t help but wrinkle his nose and frown into his coffee. Second family? Mrs. Byers’, sure, but… Jonathan’s Nancy’s boyfriend, and Will is… He isn’t a brother and he is more than just a friend, more than a best friend… god, it’s just…

It’s Will. 

There isn’t a word for it, really- at least not that Mike knows. And God knows he’s spent too much time searching for one…

Without thinking, his eyes wander to Will, who was staring intently at his breakfast, clearly lost in thought. 

Mike can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking the same thing. 

*****

The school year officially ends in mid May, before Mike fully comprehends its time. One day he enters school as a sophomore, and leaves a junior. It’s a weird feeling- growing older. Honestly, he kind of hates it. 

The routine is familiar at this point- biking with Holly and Will to and from school. But this time, as they pull into the Wheelers driveway, Mike doesn’t want to get off. He wants absolutely nothing less than to walk back into that house.

He stops Will without thinking. “Hey. Want to just go for a ride?”

Will seems a bit surprised at that, but he smiles and nods. “Yeah, sure.”

Yeah, sure. His heart gives a stupid leap and he has to bite back a smile. “Holly!” Mike shouts. “Will and I are going for a ride, we’ll be back soon!”

“‘Kay!” She shouts back before disappearing into the garage. 

Mike and Will turn around and start biking back down the street. “So where are we going?” Will calls. 

I… have no idea. Mike realizes he didn’t think that far ahead. “Anywhere,” he calls back, and savors the way Will smiles and shakes his head. 

“Come on,” Will stands on his bike, pedaling faster. “Race you to the end of Maple!” And then, like a flash, Will darts ahead, zooming down the street.

Cheater. Mike grins like an idiot, pedaling hard after him. He felt the wind against his face and couldn’t help but lift his face to the sky. 

It feels glorious. It feels right.

They don’t stop at the end of Maple Street- they keep racing through Hawkins, although Mike isn’t sure either of them know where they’re going. If they’re even going anywhere in particular. For a while, they ride and ride, looping through the streets just like they’re kids again. No plans, no expectations- just soaring through the town like they own it. 

Mike wishes life could always feel this simple, this easy.

And, for a while, it is.

But then, eventually, they do have to turn and go back home. And reality sets back in.

*****

Summer break doesn’t actually feel like a break- just a break from the mundane stupidity of school. Everyone’s thrown themselves into planning meticulously, into hunting Vecna. Honestly, they don’t do much other than work and plan. 

Occasionally the Party will all hang out afterwards, but something about it always feels too formal, like they’re just waiting for the next shoe to drop. Except… it doesn’t. It’s weird, like the whole world is on pause. 

Vecna has been gone for over a whole year. And yet they’re still here- waiting in perpetual limbo.

Once they hit mid-June, the temperature refuses to dip below 70°, and tonight it’s fucking hot. Mike’s sweating, and he’s just lying in bed with no covers on, trying desperately to go to sleep. But once again, his brain just won’t stop moving.

The next crawl is scheduled for two days from now. Their plan hasn’t changed- and yet for some reason, Mike can’t stop thinking about it. This will be their twentieth Crawl and nothing’s changed. They’re no closer to finding Vecna than they were twenty Crawls ago- except now they know where he’s not. Or at least where he wasn’t, because maybe he’s moving around. There’s no telling what he’s doing.

Honest to god, the thought doesn’t even cross his mind until he hears Jonathan inch into Nancy’s room. And even then it isn’t a thought moreso as an urge- an urge he immediately gives into.

Mike gets out of bed and quietly pads downstairs. The whole house is hot, but he knows the basement is probably cooler than his room. Heat rises and all that. That’s a good excuse, right? Probably.

He doesn’t hesitate at the top of the stairs- just heads straight into the basement. All the lights are off, but Will’s quiet voice greets him almost immediately. “Mike?”

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Will whispers. “What are you doing down here?”

Coming to see you. Mike sits on the couch, drawing his legs up underneath him. “It’s cooler down here.” 

“Really?” In the dark, Mike can see Will is sprawled out on the air mattress, blankets all kicked aside. It looks like he’s shirtless. Mike… doesn’t know what to do with that thought. 

“Yeah,” he manages. “Thought I’d melt.” I still think I might. But maybe for a different reason.

“Well. Definitely don’t do that,” Will huffs out half a laugh. “I think Jonathan’s gone up to Nancy’s for the night, so…” 

The invitation is unspoken, like Mike isn’t already lying on the couch, like they aren’t in his house, like he isn’t already planning on staying. “Thanks,” he says anyway. 

The silence grows between them, although he’s almost painfully aware of the fact that Will isn’t asleep. He can hear it in Will’s breath- it isn’t nearly rhythmic enough. He wonders what Will’s thinking- if he’s thinking about him. Is that selfish? It’s easy not to care, in the darkness.

“Mike?” Will’s voice is soft as it breaks the quiet.

“Yeah?” 

“Can… I ask you something?”

“Yeah. Yeah- what’s up?”

“Do you think… Do you think he’s still out there?” There’s no real doubt who Will’s talking about based on the tone of his voice. Vecna. “Do you think Nancy’s right?”

Oh. Somehow, Mike isn’t expecting that. They’ve talked about this before as a group, sure, but never just the two of them. There’s a note of innocence in Will’s voice- of trusting, of naivety. Of fear. Mike recognizes it all too well- hates hearing it, wishes desperately that he could banish it. 

For a moment, he isn’t sure what to say. He isn’t sure what Will wants to hear- what would help. Mike decides on being honest. “I… I think we’d know if he was really dead,” he admits. “Nancy’s been paranoid, yeah, but… well, every campaign and movie I’ve ever seen’s taught me that if you don’t see a body, the bad guy isn’t dead.”

“Yeah,” Will’s voice is soft. “I… I think so too.” The air hangs for a moment before he adds, “I… I’m pretty sure I felt him again. When we got back to Hawkins.”

That got Mike’s attention. “Felt him?” The Mind Flayer? Vecna? Did Will even know who anymore?

“I think so,” Will admits. “It wasn’t… as overwhelming as it used to be, but… I think it was the same feeling.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Mike insists.

“I wasn’t sure,” Will sounds almost embarrassed. “I mean… I know I felt it that summer too, but… the connection’s supposed to be severed,” he offers a little weakly, and Mike can’t help but remember just how exhausted and sickly Will had been coming back from Hopper’s cabin all those years ago… He hates thinking about that fall- about the fall before it… Maybe falls just kind of suck.

“I mean, maybe it still is,” Mike offers. “Maybe… you’re just like a magnet. An Upside-Down magnet. Maybe there’s no connection, but just…”

“Pull?” Will finishes Mike’s thought for him.

“Yeah, exactly. Like… when magnets get close and they start wiggling or something.” 

They’re quiet for another moment. “Yeah, maybe,” Will doesn’t sound totally convinced, but he at least sounds slightly less unsure. “I guess that just… feels a little too good to be true, you know?”

Yeah. I do know. “Well, no matter what happens, we’re all here for you,” Mike insists. His eyes have adjusted enough that he can make out the slight slope of Will’s face. They’re both facing each other. “We’re not letting him touch you again.” It comes out more intense than he intends, so he quickly adds, “I mean, your mom’ll actually go berserk if anything tries. It’ll be a full psycho-Joyce moment.”

Will huffs out a laugh. “Right.”

“Dude, I’m serious,” Mike feels himself smile back. “Your mom’s a Grade A badass now.”

“Only now?” Will insists, and Mike can hear his smile. It’s a beautiful sound. “I’m offended for her.”

“Hey- you know what I meant,” Mike laughs. “Now that we’re doing all of… this.”

“Yeah,” Will agrees. “Yeah, she is… So is Nancy,” he adds.

Every little-brother instinct inside of him wants to protest, but he knows that logically he can’t. “Yeah,” Mike sighs. “I guess so.”

“You guess so?” Will huffs out a laugh. “If anyone’s a badass these days, it’s her- with her guns?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Mike rolls his eyes. “That really only means you’re easily impressed by firearms.”

“It’s a fair thing to be impressed by!” Will protests. 

“Right,” Mike shakes his head. “Right, whatever you think.” Maybe Nancy will teach me how to shoot…

Will snorts. “Are you jealous, Mike?”

“What? No!" Mike protests. "I just- Nancy’s no more of a badass than the rest of us. She’s just in charge so you see it more.”

“Right,” Will is laughing softly. “I’ll tell her you said that.”

“Please do.” Mike smiles. 

Silence falls between them again, comfortable and warm. He doesn’t know how long it is before Will speaks again- long enough that Mike starts to nod off. “Mike?”

He manages to blink his eyes open. “Hmm?”

“Thank you. For… saying all that.”  

Mike can tell from the sincere tone of Will’s voice that he’s not awake enough for this. He blinks again. “For… agreeing Nancy’s a badass?”  

Will laughs softly. “No, for just… making me feel better.” 

Oh. Mike feels a surge of warm pride. I made you feel better? That’s all he ever really wants- to make Will happy. “Yeah. Course,” his voice comes out light- suddenly, he sounds years younger. It happens to his voice a lot, but only when he talks to Will… It’s never intentional, but it always happens.

Common theme, huh Mike?

The hum of the fan sings him to sleep.

*****

His mom, Nancy, and Joyce’s cars are all missing from the driveway when Mike gets home from visiting Max and Lucas at the hospital. When he gets off his bike, Jonathan is already outside, heading towards the treeline with a joint and lighter in hand. And… Mike could definitely use a distraction- from everything.

All in all, it’s a perfect storm of circumstances.

“Nancy will kill me if she finds out,” Jonathan keeps saying, but he still hands Mike the already lit joint. It probably helps that he’s already hit it a few times. 

Mike, for his part, tries to act like he knows what he’s doing. He brings it to his lips and breaths. Smoke fills his lungs and nose, burning at his throat. It tastes burnt too, which is maybe a stupid observation, but it still takes him off guard. Mike can’t help but cough, although he tries very, very hard not to. Shit. Oops-

Nearby, he hears Jonathan snicker. “You’ve got to inhale,” he instructs before taking a deep breath, demonstrating. “Just like breathing- and try to hold it in for a second.”

Okay… Right. Mike’s eyes are watering, but he manages to try again following Jonathan’s instructions. And… it is a little easier- it still burns, but Mike feels at least somewhat more in control. He lets out a breath of smoke, coughing.

“There you go,” Jonathan offers Mike a sheepish, Jonathan-Byers smile and takes the joint back. “Much better.”

They stand outside for a while, passing the joint back and forth. Part of Mike really can’t believe he’s actually smoking with Jonathan Byers- but then again, they are quarantined in Hawkins and the world’s all but exploded, so everything seems pretty unbelievably lately. Maybe that’s the reason why Jonathan even let him smoke in the first place. 

Honestly, Mike’s not sure what kind of feeling he’s expecting. Calm, hopefully. Eddie had offered him a puff a few times, and only the last few times had Mike felt brave enough to try. Still, he’d been slightly afraid of making a fool of himself in front of Eddie, of having to bike home stoned, of having to face his parents- so he hadn’t smoked enough to feel too much.

Well, Mike thinks as Jonathan passes the joint back and he takes another puff- this time without coughing (that bad). I’ll bet Eddie’s proud of me now. 

Neither says much as the joint slowly disappears, but after the chaos of… everything, the silence is comfortable. Mike isn’t as close with Jonathan as he is with Will (…obviously, Mike, he thinks. That’s kind of a given for like. most people) or even Mrs. Byers, but he found he still really missed him a lot over the past year and he knows Nancy did too. Obviously. 

Kind of funny, they way he and Nance have latched onto their own respective Byers. And now they’re all living in our house. How long has it been, anyway? A few months, at least? It simultaneously felt like they moved in a million years ago and also just yesterday. Apparently, time is weird at the end of the world.

God, Mike is still really just so glad the Byers were back in Hawkins. Things had felt… upside down without them. No pun intended. 

Okay, well, maybe minimal pun intended. 

He smiles a little at that, giggling a little. It’s funny- if Mike of a year ago could see him now, he’d probably have a heart attack. For like… probably a thousand reasons.

He’s an idiot. Or- well, I guess I’m an idiot- me of the past is a huge idiot. Hopefully I’m less of an idiot now. I’m trying, at least. 

I wonder if it’s obvious. I wonder if Will can tell.

“Doing alright there, Wheeler?” 

Mike blinks out of his thoughts and up at Jonathan. His vision is slightly fuzzy at the edges, no matter how many times he blinks. Words feel hard so he just nods.

“Okay.” Jonathan smiles. “Good. I’m gonna kill it, okay?”

Mike’s brow furrows. “Kill… what?” There’s no monsters around. …right?

Jonathan huffs out a laugh, shaking his head as he holds up the nub of the joint and takes a last hit. Oh. That. Right. Mike nods, feeling slightly embarrassed- although his head feels cotton-ey, so it’s hard to focus on it too much. Jonathan snuffs the end out on the bark of a tree before tossing it into the woods. Gone, like it never happened.

They walk back towards the Wheeler house, going in through the basement. Mike’s head buzzes pleasantly as- for once- his rapidly ping-ponging thoughts dull. His brain feels… smooth. Quiet. 

Huh. Weird. But nice. Nice-weird.

Will is sitting on the couch in the basement, almost like he’s waiting. For me? Mike trips over the doorstep, stumbling like an idiot on his way in. It makes Will look up from his sketchbook with a start. Oops. Sorry. All Mike can say is- “Tripped.”

“Hi,” Will sits up, smiling so sweetly and prettily and- fuck fuck fuck Mike is so fucked. “How were Max and Lucas?”

“Hmm?” It takes Mike a moment to remember how to speak, another to figure out what to say. “Oh. Fine. You know. The same.” 

Jonathan shuts the door behind them, gently prodding at Mike’s back to get him to move further inside. Oh right. Moving. He heads instinctively towards the couch, half-collapsing next to Will. A little too close, probably, but Will is warm and it’s cold outside. Sue him.

Will sniffs and wrinkles his nose slightly, looking over at Jonathan. “Dude. Nancy’s going to kill you.”

Jonathan groans. “No, she’s not. Don’t say that.” 

“Okay, mom’s going to kill you.”

“Will, it’s fine,” Jonathan insists, shaking his head as he heads to the bathroom. “Mike’s fine. Right?”

“Yeah, so fine. What’re you drawing?” Mike asks, his eyes on Will’s sketchbook. He knows he probably shouldn’t just look, but he fucking loves Will’s art- he always has. Will is just so talented. Mike’s walls have always been covered in his art- even still is. He’s had more Will on his walls than anything El-related… well, ever.

Will’s attention turns back to Mike, which is- frankly- where it belongs. For a second, he doesn’t seem to know what to say. Then, hesitantly, he admits, “A wyvern.”

Mike feels himself grin. “Awesome. Can I see??” He asks, like he isn’t already looking. But then Will offers him the sketchbook and he can see it fully and- “Wow…”

Will is so fucking talented.

“It’s not done yet,” Will is saying, but Mike barely notices. All he sees is the beautiful drawing, just a bit smudged with erase marks and so very Will that it makes his heart bubble. Sometimes he wishes he could just live in the worlds that Will drew. 

You know, minus the angry-looking wyvern. 

Unless it’s friendly. Which, knowing Will, it might be. Always more than he seems.

“Ferocious,” Mike mutters, leaning so far to his right that he’s practically on top of Will. Some part of him is aware he probably shouldn’t be, but Will is so warm and comfortable that Mike kind of wants to melt. “Super ferocious. Looks way better than the manual…”

Will is totally still. “No it doesn’t.”

“Does too,” Mike insists. “Yours has way more character.”

“Character?” Will raises an eyebrow like he doesn’t believe him- which is a crime.

Mike nods, trying to string his thoughts together. It’s a bit harder than he wants to admit, but he manages to do it. “Yeah! Yeah, the manual’s art is fine I guess, but yours… yours tell stories, Will. Like that wyvern’s been places, it’s… it’s like- moving on the page- all of your art. It’s always magic.”

Will’s cheeks flush a pretty pink and Mike just can’t help but stare at it. “You’re stoned,” he manages, looking entirely flustered. It’s a little satisfying to see, knowing Mike’s words made him feel like that.

“I’m right,” Mike insists. He’s doing a lot of insisting, but his words don’t feel like they’re coming out right and he just- he needs Will to understand. “I’m right, I swear. You should make your own manual or something. Or like… a book of drawings or something- I’m sure you could get the official people to sponsor it and everything! You should do that. Seriously. I’d buy one. Hey- I’m serious! Don’t laugh!” He’s smiling anyways, even as Will laughs at him. It’s a fond and nervous thing- it’s like music. Mike could dance to the sound.

“You’re ridiculous,” Will shakes his head. But… he doesn’t move away. In fact- he stays right where he is, pressing against Mike with a smile. Keeping him upright- a warm and constant pressure. Comforting. Will.

Mike tries not to think too much into it. Tries so hard not to stare at Will.

He immediately fails. 

Will is just… so pretty. He always has been- just objectively speaking. The slope of his nose, the little furrow he got between his brow, the hazel sparkle of his eyes, the little mole above his lips, the way he purses his lips… Really, he looks so goddamn kissable all the time- it’s unfair…

The toilet flushes from the other room and Will straightens, looking away. All at once, Mike zooms out- his fuzzy brain making everything feel a bit like he’s looking through a viewfinder. Oh. 

He blinks hard, trying to reorient himself but his eyes just keep catching on Will and- well, maybe the problem is that Mike really really doesn’t want to look away. He wants…

“Will…” tumbles out before he can stop it. He doesn’t want to stop it- not really.

Will’s gaze turns back to him immediately. “Mike?” 

All at once, the words catch in Mike’s throat. He isn’t even sure what he’s trying to say in the first place- or maybe he does and he just… isn’t sure how to say it. I just- I think that I-

The bathroom door opens. Will’s eyes leave Mike’s and he feels like something vital has been ripped away- something warm and beautiful and lovely and perfect, something so entirely Will.

And then, all at once, it hits him what he was about to say. What he is definitely not sober enough to be admitting. 

Oh fuck. Mike is fucked.

Holding his head up is suddenly too much work. Mike falls forwards, pressing his forehead to Will’s shoulder- and yeah, that’s probably selfish too, he’s aware, but it feels so fucking good- it feels right.

Will just feels right.

Mike feels muffled and calm and so, so insane all at once. His heart is a wild, erratic monster in chains and Mike’s simply a Beast Tamer- living at its beck and call. And despite everything he’s ever been told he should want, everything he’s tried to want… Mike’s heart seems to want one person and one person only.

Will Byers.

He feels crazy. He feels warm. He feels a little dangerous. 

He feels a little stoned.

He feels alive.

“Doing okay, Mike?” Jonathan’s voice comes from behind him, abruptly interrupting his train of thought.

No. I’m in love with your brother and I think I always have been. And I have literally no fucking idea what to do with that.

But he can’t say that. So instead Mike laughs. 

He just laughs. It’s kind of funny, honestly. 

He is so unbelievably fucked.