Chapter Text
Trying, and failing, to sleep, knowing that dawn was only six hours away, drastic measures where required, the grey bunny thought to herself.
"This isn't so bad, right?" Is what Judy Hopps had then went on to spend the last three hours chanting aloud, almost convincing herself from time to time. Maybe a little, anyway. It was pretty hard for her to place any thoughts or feelings other than the self-deprecating ones, right now.
"Hey, office-" The red fox started to say something.
"I'm not a cop anymore, as if it isn't painfully obvious from where we are. Haven't we had this little back-and-forth several times, already?" Judy interrupted him before he could spout any more of his sarcastic nonsense, she was getting really tired of his 'wonderful personality' as he had referred to it.
What was even his name? Wince? Wafer? His first name was Nick, maybe? He'd probably told her several times, she had just been too preoccupied with the nothing else that was happening to remember.
She didn't really know what the fox sitting opposite to her was doing with her phone, but he seemed to be enjoying himself, so he was probably looking at her pictures. Not that it mattered if he did, there's nothing remotely interesting on it anyway. She told him that much before she let him borrow it.
"Sorry-"
"You're not sorry."
The fox ignored her.
"-I just wanted to tell you, fluff, that whatever song that is, the one that you're humming to yourself over there, you might want to add some more lyrics than 'This isn't so bad'. I mean, you'll never never be the next Gazelle unless you..." He paused for dramatic effect.
Judy knew exactly what he was going to say before he said it and decided this was an excellent occasion to practice just how loudly she could groan and roll her eyes.
"UUGH, don't say it." She could swear even her eye-rolling was slightly audible. Maybe she could make money teaching people this skill, though sadly it would require her to stick them in a box with this fox for several days while he tells them terrible jokes and puns.
Box with Fox? Boxed Fox?
Wait, was she thinking of marketing this idea with a pun now? Somehow this was his fault.
"...Try everything!" The fox immediately started guffawing at his own terrible punchline. It'd be kind of cute, if he wasn't the most obnoxious creature that ever existed. Still, she couldn't stop herself from flashing just a hint of a smile, so maybe he was doing something right.
Or maybe he was just so obnoxious it went full circle and back to being charming. That sounds more accurate.
"The Foxhole." The bunny said, not much louder than a whisper.
"What's that, carrots? Are you giving my humble abode a name now? Didn't know you liked it that much." The smooth talking fox gestured around himself, or he would have, if there was anything noteworthy to gesture towards, but there wasn't. Just some grass, the box they were in and the uneven bricks the dilapidated bridge was made of.
"No, I'm just brainstorming names for an invention, or more like a new method of torture, really."
"Oh?" The fox really didn't know when to shut his smug face. Which was starting to approach critical-smug. That's an actual word. He created it and put a picture of himself next to it in the dictionary.
His own, self-made dictionary, because everything is bad and wrong.
"The torture device is you. Just so you know. I'm saying you're-"
"Got it."
"I mean, I wouldn't want you to think that I consider all foxes to be as much of a huge pain in the-"
"Still kind of a speciesist name though, oh and as a 'species' myself, I am deeply offended and demand an apology."
"Well, I mean, it's pretty catchy, and I couldn't think of anything clever using your name. Also, I will apologize, if you apologize to all bunnies for calling me 'Carrots' all the time." She said, leaving out the fact that she couldn't even remember his name. Probably something self-indulgent, anyway.
Smug McSmirk? Slick Smile?
"Wilde times. There's your name, you're welcome." The fox, Nick Wilde, Judy now recalled against her will, had a very unusual expression on his face all of a sudden, one she couldn't place, somber maybe?
The bunny was mostly taken aback by the fact that he had the facial muscles required to do anything other than smirk, shouldn't they all have atrophied by now?
"Sounds great, if you're into false advertising." She retorted, smiling.
"Come on, fluff, wouldn't you go for a round of the Wilde Times?" Judging by his eyebrow movements, he realized just how suggestive that came off, already back to his typical smug, smirking ways.
"Sure, anytime." She said in a rather sultry voice, trying to make him slip up, say something REALLY stupid, so she could justify kicking him in his handsome face.
Wait, handsome? Stop, bad bunny brain. You sleep on the couch tonight, That'll show you.
Better than sleeping in a box.
...Touché, brain.
"Is this innocent conversation going to end with me picking my teeth up off the ground if I don't stop teasing?" He made the correct choice of chickening out of the little game.
"You're no fun."
"The good book would care to disagree with you there, Carrots." He tossed her phone back, then motioned to grab something.
"Oh please, spare me the dictionary. I get it, I've seen it, stop."
"Trust me, you ain't seen nothing yet, there's more to this dictionary than your limited mind could ever hope to comprehend, bun-bun. People have died for this thing. You should see the definition of 'Innocent'. Spoilers, it's a picture of my face."
Considering how he had just called her 'bun-bun', he was "probably" inviting her to punch his face into dust. Should put a picture of that in his book next to the word 'illiterate', since he seems to believe the definition of every word in the English language is a picture his stupid face.
She settled for rolling her eyes, while letting out a weak sigh.
"Is this really my life now?"
"It's pretty great, isn't it?" The fox said, flipping through his book, not a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"I'm serious. How do you end up here? Going from an upstanding member of society to sleeping with a fox in a box, a foxbox. Foxy box? Whatever." She got slightly embarrassed when Nick raised an eyebrow at her.
Stop it with the stupid puns, he'll never let you live it down.
Still, she wondered if those 'Fox Away' products came in foxy boxes. She'd have to ask her dad at some point. If she ever saw him again.
Morbid thought.
"Don't flatter yourself, Ex-officer fluff, we're not sleeping with each other, what you're doing is simply a B&E in progress. And you will refrain from calling my box anything other than home. My box, my rules."
"You'd have a hard time convincing a court of that. Again, box. Bridge. Not exactly official living arrangements. Besides, you're the one who invited me to stay in your box, you boxfox."
She needed to stop, why couldn't she stop though dammit why just stop with the puns.
He really was rubbing off on her, had she always been so easily influenced by those around her?
Or was he special somehow?
Nah. That's silly.
"Trespassing then, I guess, My word against yours." Nick didn't seem to care much about being called a 'boxfox', or maybe he could tell she felt silly for saying it and chose to ignore it because of that. But, she didn't know him as the type who wouldn't rub that in her face, so that probably wasn't it. He wasn't that soft, right?
"Ok, First: What? Second: Is that your catchphrase or something? Third: Just let me be miserable in peace would you? I'm trying to sleep." She was getting really tired of this... whatever they were doing. Not helped by the fact that she hadn't slept in, what felt like, days. Maybe it had been days? Things were starting to blend together to the point where time barely registered anymore besides nightfall and dawn. Guess that's what happens when you're homeless and miserable with nothing to take your mind off it.
"No can do, Carrots. I've made an important decision, tonight, you see." He closed the stupid dictionary.
Judy raised an eyebrow "Oh? Have you finally decided to shower or bathe? Otherwise I don't see why I should care."
Nick scoffed "Please, as if you don't love my natural musk. But no, I think you will care about this, because I've decided to help you." It's a good thing there was only one Nick Wilde, because the world wasn't ready for the levels of smug that two of him could produce.
Judy turned to her side, trying to make herself more comfortable. It wasn't really working.
"Good." She said, trying to ignore him.
"Good? That's it? That's all I get?"
"Mm-yup. Now, shut-" The bunny sighed, closing her eyes.
"-Up." she finished, whispering.
"Fine, you leave me no choice, rabbit."
Suddenly Judy found herself being lifted into the air, pulled up by her arms and moving away from the box. Considering she probably hadn't learned how to fly within the last ten seconds she came to the conclusion that it was just about the right time to start kicking who she suspected was behind this horrible sleep murder.
"You know, I don't think I told you about the time I KO'd a rhino. But, if you want to experience what it's like, you're going about it exactly the right way, Sir." Her tone suggested there wasn't any amounts playfulness or bantering that could get him out of this, he was going down.
He didn't stop. Instead he lifted her up to be at eye-level with him and spun her around to face him. Her glare conveyed just how badly she wanted to make his head explode with her mind.
Nick didn't even seem fazed, the fearless creature that he was. Fearless and dead. Very dead.
"Now now, Carrots. You and me are going to save Zootopia and make you a cop again, whether you want to or not."
Maybe he could banter his way out of it, after all. He also put her down, just to make sure, totally not because he was starting to wonder if she wasn't joking about the rhino.
"Wh-what? Do you realise how impossible that is? There are no leads, no clues, no anything! For some reason, Nick telling her everything was going to be okay had momentarily made her feel like he could do it, like he could fix everything.
She hated it, because when the moment passed she remembered that this is fox is a professional liar. He readily admitted it, seemed proud of it, even. Being comforted by him shouldn't make her feel better, if anything it should make her feel worse.
"There's this guy." Nick said, beaming with absolute confidence, pointing to himself with both thumbs. Stupid smirk on his face.
"What, is there someone behind you?" Judy made a show of turning her head to the side to look behind the fox, then shrugging her shoulders when she saw nobody there.
"Funny, bunny. Hey, that's pretty good. Fun bun. That's a fun pun." The fox seemed pleased with himself, stroking his muzzle as if contemplating something seriously. Judy, meanwhile, was contemplating how wonderful it would be if a piano or anvil squashed him into a fine paste.
She especially hated the fact that she agreed with him. It was a fun pun.
Stupid Nick.
"I'm going to sleep, wake me up when you've saved the city then, Slick." Walking past him, she punctuated her statement by punching him in the shoulder. Hard.
"I know how to find the otter." Nick stated, simply, as if it wouldn't even be a challenge. Simultaneously trying not to show how much his shoulder was hurting and probably turning a really nice, painful color at this point.
"You. What?" Judy stopped in place, ears shooting up into the air like they wanted to reach the moon.
"The otter. A couple nights ago you were mumbling about an otter you tried to find, and about how much of a jerk some guy named Bogo is for forcing you to quit. I think anyway, It's pretty hard to interpret your mumbling when you curse between every other word. That mouth on you though, you'd give my mom a run for her money, and you haven't even seen her swear jar. Anyway, I read the papers, and I know I've seen the missing otter. There's probably a trail."
"But... If you've known for a while now, why haven't you said anything? And why would you help me, anyway? What do YOU get out of this?"
"Wow, fluff, you really know how to make a guy feel both trusted and appreciated."
Nick actually stopped smirking while muttering this, sarcastic tone cranked up to max, instead.
"Ok, Fine, I'll accept that you're just doing this out of the goodness of your heart, or whatever. But you still need to answer me; why didn't you say anything until now?"
Nick sighed and closed his eyes it was quiet for a while, a rare event when Nick was around.
"I didn't care." He went quiet again, searching for the right words before continuing.
"I still don't know if I 'know' you, but you seem like... you care. I don't know, maybe I felt like not saying anything because 'Hey, it's for the best, not like you would just take a fox at his word, anyway'. 'It might do more harm than good, having me on your side'. 'Nobody trusts a fox, nobody likes a fox'."
Several more quiet seconds passed. They both looked at each other.
He continued "You're not even a cop anymore, so you have even less influence and respect than you had 'driving around a shopping cart while wearing a silly outfit', as you so eloquently put it during one of your mumbling sessions. Hanging around foxes would just be the final nail in the proverbial coffin. Or, maybe I just thought it would feel good watching the city tear itself apart knowing I could have helped, but didn't. I've managed to feel and think a lot of different things these last few days since you showed up on my doorstep, talking about your situation. Some rather dark things, Carrots. And before you say anything about how I don't have a doorstep, remember I can bring the dictionary back at any time."
She assumed he was threatening her by bringing up the dictionary. It felt like a threat. To her sanity.
To him, however, it was probably more of an attempt to bring some lightheartedness back to what he realized had turned into an oddly serious confession.
Judy didn't really know what to say. Somehow Nick had become a completely different person right in front of her over the course of his tirade, dropping his facade until it was nearly gone. All she could see now was a sad, lonely guy who lost hope a long time ago. She thought she had this guy all figured out? He wasn't just some smirking idiot, even if he had almost perfected the act.
How many more layers could she peel off him before he would sit there, exposed like an elephant at a naturalist club?
And why did she start thinking about naked elephants all of a sudden? Where the hell did that come from?
"What changed your mind? If you 'didn't care', I mean?" Judy finally spoke, stepping closer to him, cautiously, ears down, afraid he'd break like a cracked piece of porcelain if she wasn't careful. She could almost see the words 'Fragile' on his face. It looked funnier than sad, which was a problem. she should probably stop seeing it if she didn't want to seem insensitive. Or insane.
She was definitely underestimating him, thinking he's some weak kit who needs to be babied. But it felt like the correct course of action, he might put all his defenses back up if she pushed too hard. Being cautious in these emotional situations usually worked out better, with less crying. Not that she'd ever been the one crying before. She always seemed to make mammals cry, though. She chose to see it as yet another of her talents, for peace of mind. Still, she desperately wanted to reach out for him, now. Give him something to hold on to. Like an anchor, an anchor that distributes fluffy bunny hugs, when needed.
Thinking about it, she came to the startling conclusion that she'd probably be like an average, at best, anchor.
She wasn't normally a very huggy person, more into the whole 'physical abuse as a sign of affection' thing, because that's a thing now, totally a normal, acceptable thing.
This dumb fox, however, was rapidly changing that, it seemed. She might fail sadism 101 if this continues, and she was supposed to be valedictorian.
Nick made another interesting face when he said "I thought that was heavily implied already, but if you need me to say it, fine. You made me care, dumb bunny."
This snapped Judy out whatever weird places her mind kept wandering to, now at a loss for words despite so many of them swirling around in her head.
Sadly, the majority of the words were 'wow' and 'ehm'.
She supposed those words would have to do then.
"Ehm, wow ok, but I don't see what I really did? I guess? ehm okay wow."
Nailed it.
She was starting to find it hard keeping herself together, now.
How is this fox affecting her this way? Why did he seem less embarrassed by this than her, that's not fair!
He's going to cry and eat a hug even if it kills him. Her. Kills her. No wait, him. He should die. From hugs, for making her almost cry, stupid idiot. After he cries he dies. It's only fair.
"You happened upon a fox living in a foxy box-" Nick started, still far too calm for his own good.
"I thought it was called 'home'." Judy interrupted with a small smile before he continued, ignoring her.
"-And still, you've been treating me like you would anybody else, I thought you'd slip eventually, expose yourself for the fraud you were like everybody else, and I'd take pleasure in seeing you miserable, watching you run back how to your little farm, only to sell and eat carrots the rest of your life. That was the plan. Although I'm guessing the carrot eating is still probably going to happen whether I like it not, huh?"
"Some plan."
"Give yourself some credit, fluff. You haven't really failed to prove me right just yet. Anyone can slip up, anytime. I'm just saying you're not... I don't..." He stopped for a few moments again, collecting his thoughts.
"Long story short, I don't want to see you miserable anymore, and your need, or more like obsession with helping people is more infectious than rabies. Ugly comparison, I apologize. Don't make that face. Anyway, it's not like either of us has anything important to do, especially not you, sweetheart, so even if you still don't want to trust me, go right ahead, but you got nothing to lose.
Now she had him, she knew exactly what to say. She almost felt like she was about to manipulate him, despite the fact that she would mean every word.
"Yes I do." Judy said, serious expression on her face.
"Yeah, sure, a box under a-"
"Now I'm afraid of losing you, stupid fox." She really didn't want to cry because of him, so why was it getting more and more difficult? She'd never felt this before, not this way. Not for her family, or friends, nobody.
Why?
Didn't she just meet this fox?
Why did it feel like they'd become inseparable over the course of a few days?
"-briii... wha?" Nick looked genuinely shocked, it was probably the funniest face any fox, or any mammal for that matter, had ever made. She would probably laugh if she wasn't on the verge of tears.
"I said hug. Now, you big goof."
"Hey, no. You never said anything about any hugs, also, I'm not the kind of easily manipulated sucke-"
"NOW!"
Suddenly she was swept up again, this time with furry arms the size of her thighs closed around her back. She tried to reach around his back, but that wasn't happening, so she settled for just letting her arms hang uselessly at her sides. They probably looked really stupid like this, she thought.
It was pretty great.
Thinking back to something he said way earlier, how did he even know that she likes the way he smells, anyway?
Even if it was just a stupid joke, she suddenly took it very seriously.
Her brain decided to interrupt, Because nothing is sacred, or off-limits to that thing.
'You love his musky fox musk. You want to musk in the smell formusk the rest ofmusk yourmusk musk. Mm.'
Sadism 101 really wasn't paying off, she should probably drop out of 'Pain College' altogether.
Great. She'd never be a decent dentist, now.
Also go away forever, brain. Thanks.
Time to let her heart do the talking.
"Dumb fox. But you're my dumb fox, now. That means you're not allowed to be miserable anymore, either." She barely even knew what she was saying anymore, but wasn't she being incredibly creepy and possessive? Why would she say something like that? Nobody talks like that, not even dumb bunnies.
Maybe she did need her brain back, letting her heart speak for her wasn't going too well.
As if to prove a point, her brain decided to tell her that his fur felt so good it drove her crazy and also wondered what it would be like to wrap herself in his fluffy-wuffy tail.
Brain has encountered a catastrophic Error. Abort.
Nick didn't make fun of her, or say anything, for that matter. He just started shaking slightly. Maybe what she said wasn't that creepy. She thought she could hear a sob, but chose to pretend it never happened, he had an image to mainta-
"Don't really get the hugging, Carrots. Am I supposed to, or is this just a bunny thing? Also, BTW, if I'm your dumb fox, does that mean you're my dumb bunny? Because I'm not sure how I like the idea of each of us claiming ownership over the other. Does that mean I need to remember to clean you, brush your teeth and take you for walks? I'm not great with responsibility. I mean you have seen how I live, right?"
Ah, It was nice while it lasted. She should've known. Despite the fact that his voice was more than a little off he just had to do it, he had to ruin the moment. Who actually says BTW out loud, anyway?
"I can't hear you over how you're crying like a wimp 'BTW'." Judy said, Putting extra emphasis on the last part. She wasn't going to be merciful towards anyone who dares belittle one of her hugs. She really did have a talent for making mammals cry.
"I'm not crying Nick Wilde doesn't cry you're crying everyone knows bunnies are emotional it's words against your mine wait no I said that wrong still not crying though." He was practically rambling like a crazed animal, only missing a tin-foil hat to complete the image. He started wiping his eyes with one paw, still holding her in a tight to his chest with the other.
"Shutup already, and put me down so I can punch you some more." Time to crunch for those sadism finals, she never was one to give up easily.
"You're so cute when-"
He didn't manage to say anything else before he was face down on the ground. 'She wasn't lying about the rhino' was probably his last thought before he died.
Judy assumed he was dead, anyway. She held a small service, by herself, buried him in a foxy box. She Tried, at least, but he came back as a zombie halfway through screaming about how he wasn't dead.
Silly fox, zombies are dead and he was clearly a zombie because he was dead and a zombie now. What an idiot.
She pulled out her phone to take a picture of him, covered in dirt, it'd make a nice memento of her new best friend. Huh, best friend. She didn't mind that.
That's when she noticed her phone's storage had been maxed, due to a certain individual taking literally thousands of selfies when she wasn't looking.
It's a good thing Zombies don't feel pain.