Chapter Text
Heeseung stood in front of the mirror, checking if the gray sweater and jeans he was wearing looked good on him. In his left hand, he held a bouquet of flowers. He stared at them through the reflection, his heart beating wildly.
Heeseung nearly jumped when his phone suddenly rang. It was Jungwon.
“Hyung! Hurry the fuck up!” Jungwon blurted the moment Heeseung picked up.
“Words,” Heeseung warned, slipping into his hyung mode.
“Sorry, hyung. Just—please hurry. Sunghoon hyung will get mad if we’re late for his birthday.” Jungwon’s tone immediately softened, like a younger brother who had just been scolded.
“I know. I’ll be at your place in fifteen minutes.” Heeseung grabbed his car keys and coat.
“Okay, hyung. Also… Sunghoon hyung said he invited someone else this year. He’s excited to introduce him.”
Heeseung froze mid-step. “Him?” was all he managed to say.
“Yeah. I’ll be waiting, hyung,” Jungwon said before hanging up.
Heeseung remained still, the phone pressed to his ear. Him. A guy Sunghoon wanted to introduce to his friends. Sunghoon had never done that before.
He shook his head, trying to convince himself it was probably just a new coworker Sunghoon had gotten close to. He headed to his car and placed the flowers on the passenger seat, staring at them again.
Today was Sunghoon’s 28th birthday, and as always, they were celebrating it at his place. Sunghoon didn’t like going out on his birthday—he preferred something intimate, just him and the six friends he’d known for half his life. And maybe seven this year.
Exactly fifteen minutes later, Heeseung arrived in front of Jungwon’s house. Heeseung honked, and Jungwon rushed out of his house, sprinting toward the car. “Sunghoon’s gonna kill us!” he panicked as he fumbled with his seatbelt.
“Chill out, dude,” Heeseung said, pulling away from the curb and heading toward Sunghoon’s place.
“Jay hyung already texted me. We’re the only ones who aren’t there yet!” Jungwon groaned. He was already regretting agreeing to go with his hyung.
Jungwon’s eyes immediately locked onto the flowers in the back seat. Heeseung had moved them there before Jungwon got into the car, but it clearly didn’t help. “Are those… flowers?” Jungwon asked.
Heeseung glanced at the rearview mirror, spotting the bouquet resting quietly on the seat. “They’re for Sunghoon,” he replied. “Sweet,” Jungwon said, a slow smile forming on his face.
“Shut up,” Heeseung shot back, rolling his eyes. He knew exactly where Jungwon’s mind was going.
“It is a sweet gift! And it’s your first time giving him flowers. You usually go for accessories or clothes.” Jungwon reached toward the back seat, but Heeseung was quicker, snatching the bouquet before the younger could touch it.
“I gave him flowers once,” Heeseung muttered, placing the bouquet carefully on his lap. “When I was in Japan.”
Jungwon stared at him, unimpressed. “You know, Heeseung hyung… sometimes I wonder why you and Sunghoon hyung aren’t together. You’ve known each other not just half your lives—basically your whole lives.”
Heeseung felt something tighten in his chest at Jungwon’s words. He didn’t know how to answer—maybe because he didn’t know the answer at all.
“Maybe,” he finally said, voice low, “some people are meant to be just friends. Like brothers.”
And the moment he said it, it hurt.
The drive to Sunghoon’s house was silent. Jungwon minding his business while scrolling through his phone while Heeseung’s thoughts spiraled. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he was supposed to talk to Sunghoon—how he was going to bring up the conversation they had five years ago.
It was a twenty minute drive from Jungwon’s place to Sunghoon’s. When they arrived, Jungwon immediately jumped out of the car and ran towards the door leaving Heeseung behind. Heeseung didn’t care. He wanted to take his time. He looked at the mirror once again and was satisfied with how he looked. Handsome as hell. He wore his coat and grabbed the flowers before locking his car. Every step toward the door was like walking on eggshells, his heartbeat rising with every inch he moved closer. Heeseung took a deep breath and a big exhale before opening the door.
It was Sunghoon he saw first—a wide smile on his face, his vampire-like fangs peeking out. He wore a baby blue sweater top that compliments his milk skin. Sunghoon was glowing, and Heeseung couldn’t look away. Couldn’t look away from the man that asked him to be his boyfriend exactly five years ago.
Sunghoon waved at him, Heeseung smiled back. But the smile was quickly wiped out of Heeseung's face when an unfamiliar man wrapped his hands around Sunghoon’s waist.
“Now that you guys are complete,” Sunghoon said, looking at the guy beside him, smiling. “Let me introduce my…” Don’t say it. Heeseung’s mind was going crazy. “Boyfriend, Nicholas.” Sunghoon continued. The group shouts different kinds of sounds. Jay was shouted like he’d seen a ghost, Ni-ki and Sunoo looked at Heeseung with their mouths wide open, Jungwon squealed, Jake ran towards Sunghoon and gave him a hug, typical best friend behavior. And Heeseung, he hid the flowers behind his back. Not even ten minutes after he arrived, he hadn't even talked to Sunghoon at all, and now he has to accept that Sunghoon has a boyfriend now. All his plans just stayed as plans.
“Since when?” Jungwon managed to ask.
“Just last month actually.” Sunghoon replied, a blush forming on his cheeks.
While everyone was busy talking to Sunghoon and apparently the boyfriend, Nicholas. Heeseung escapes the chaos and heads straight to the balcony of Sunghoon’s place. Still holding the flowers. Heeseung really thought that this day is going to be the day where he’ll pour all of his feelings, but the universe has other plans, Heeseung guessed.
Heeseung wanted to leave, but chose to stay for Sunghoon. He was just staring at nothing, reminiscing the moments he could have confessed but chose not to. He wished he had mustered the courage to pursue the guy. Now, it’s too late. Heeseung ran his fingers through his hair out of annoyance to himself when he felt a hand on his back. He looked and saw Sunghoon, smiling.
“You must be so happy you kept smiling.” Heeseung said in a monotonous tone.
“Can you stop teasing me for once?” Sunghoon replied and his eyes locked at the flowers Heeseung was holding.
“A daffodil? Are these flowers for me?” Sunghoon asked, his thick eyebrows arching as if he were interrogating Heeseung.
“No, they’re for Jungwon.” Heeseung replied, making the younger chuckle. “Thank you, Hee.” Sunghoon said as he snatched the flowers out of Heeseung’s hand.
“So, Nicholas.” Heeseung was too brave to open the topic.
“W-what about him.” Sunghoon’s tone changed as soon as he heard the name. He was nervous for a reason only Sunghoon knows.
“Nothing. I was just… you know… surprised. You used to tell me everything,” Heeseung said, a hint of hurt in his voice. “Also… I guess the deal we made exactly five years ago has already been broken.”
Sunghoon blinked, and silence stretched between them. Heeseung wondered if the younger had really forgotten.
“W-what deal, hyung?” Sunghoon asked, confused. His grip on the flowers tightened.
“Remember five years ago? in this exact place, you were 23 and I was 24. You were tipsy that time so maybe you already forgot about it.”
–
“Hyung, Why is no one pursuing me?” Sunghoon said a cup of soju on his right hand. His head leaned on Heeseung's shoulders. They were on the balcony of Sunghoon's place. Staring at the stars on the younger’s 23rd birthday.
“A lot of guys are so into you, Hoon. You’re just ignoring them.” Heeseung said. “They’re shit. They only want me because I look good.” Sunghoon took another sip.
“Well, you’re really pretty, Hoon.” Heeseung muttered, almost under his breath.
“What?” Sunghoon asked, lifting his head lightly.
“I said nothing.” The older replied, hiding the blush on his cheeks. It was silent for a long time. A comfortable silence, until the younger one spoke, that changed the trajectory of Heeseung’s life.
“Hyung… can you do me a favor?” Sunghoon asked, now looking straight at Heeseung.
“What is it?” Heeseung gulped.
“In five years, if I still haven’t met the one, can you take care of me for the rest of your life? and I’ll do the same.” Heeseung choked on his own breath when he heard what Sunghoon just said. He thought the younger wasn’t serious, but seeing Sunghoon’s face. He was dead serious.
“You’re going to be 28 by that time and I’ll be 29.” Heeseung replied. “Yeah, I think that age is already enough to settle with someone you love.” They stared at each other for quite long. Heeseung hasn’t said his answer.
“Okay.”
–
And with that, Heeseung who had lots of relationships in the past chose to stay single for five years so that he can take care of the person he loves and treasure the most. But the universe says otherwise.
“I-I… I’m sorry, hyung.” Sunghoon covered his face out of embarrassment.
“Don’t be. I was the one who accepted the deal, knowing you weren’t in the right headspace back then.” Heeseung let out a soft laugh, trying to lighten the mood.
“I just… hope Nicholas takes good care of you,” he added. Gently, Heeseung pulled him into a hug, resting his hand on Sunghoon’s back and giving it a reassuring pat.
“I’ll get inside and catch up with the guys,” Heeseung said as he broke the hug. Sunghoon just nodded, “Happy birthday, my dearest Hoon.” Heeseung said before leaving, giving Sunghoon a pat in the head and a warm smile. Sunghoon wanted to cry. He wanted to pull Heeseung for a hug again. But he didn’t, he was still the loser he was before.
If you’re going to ask Sunghoon again if he remembers the deal, his answer would be a solid yes.
Every year since the day they had made that deal, Sunghoon found himself silently praying and wishing that Heeseung would remain single. Year one had gone as hoped. Year two, three, and four passed the same way—Heeseung was still single, just like Sunghoon.
But this year… this year felt different. His birthday was still months away, yet Sunghoon’s mind refused to stay quiet. Thoughts crept in, twisting and tangling with his heart. What if Heeseung only agreed out of pity? It was a selfish deal, Sunghoon admits. He only thought of his feelings that time, he didn’t consider Heeseung’s. It’s like he gave Heeseung a responsibility. However, Sunghoon doesn’t know Heeseung would gladly accept that responsibility with open arms.
Sunghoon was a loser when it comes to love and he still is.
Heeseung was a coward when it comes to love and he still is.